[whispering]
"Something behind me.
I start for a second, I blench,
or staggeringly halt and burn,
I do not know my age.
In the morning it is different.
An open book confronts me,
too close to read in comfort.
Tell me how old I am.
And then the valleys stuff
impenetrable mists
like cotton in my ears.
I do not know my age.
I do not mean to complain.
They say it is my fault.
Nobody tells me anything.
Tell me how old I am."
[man] No, no.
It's okay. They're here.
[chuckles] Yeah, we're just
getting settled in clinic.
Yeah, no worries. I'll just
see you when you get here.
[hangs up the telephone]
Your parents are
running a little late.
But that gives us
a little time to chat.
[J] Okay.
[man] Okay. So,
looking at the test results, I
just didn't want you to worry.
And I wanted to make sure
that we had some time
to talk in person one-on-one.
Now, you've been
using the puberty blocker to,
as we've said,
hit a pause button
and make sure that
you're not progressing
through a puberty
that you just don't want.
And I think you'd be able to
explore things about yourself
and, you know, about the whole
transition that makes sense.
But the bone density results
are a little low,
and if we wanna
try to keep you healthy,
I think now is the time to sit
down with you and your parents
and make that decision.
Are you ready?
[door opens]
[J] Yeah.
[door closes]
[whispering]
"Shadows fall down."
[man] J, are you okay?
You wanna chat about something?
[J] Um, no. It's just
something I can't remember.
I memorized a poem, but
can't remember the last part.
It's okay.
I'll probably remember it.
[whispering]
"You never stay long enough.
Tell me how old I am.
At evening, something behind me.
I start for a second, I blench,
or staggeringly halt and burn,
I do not know my age."
[breathing heavily]
[J whispering] "At evening,
something behind me.
I start for a second, I blench,
or staggeringly halt and burn,
I do not know my age.
In the morning it is different.
An open book confronts me,
too close to read in comfort."
[knock at door]
[door slams]
Mitsu?
[whispering] Mitsu?
[cat meows]
Mitsu!
[whispering] I told you
not to come here.
[clanging]
Mitsu.
No.
- [Mitsu meows]
- [pot crashes]
Oh, no.
[Mitsu purring]
[J whispering] Go home.
You should go back home.
Not there.
You should go home tonight.
She'll be looking for you.
[Araz] Lauren,
how should I
introduce myself to J?
Does he...
Oh, sorry, they know
about us getting married?
[Lauren] I haven't
talked to J recently.
But I told Mom and Dad.
Turn left here. We're close.
[calm instrumental
music playing]
[J whispering] Mitsu!
[Lauren] Where you going?
You just passed it.
I thought you said
the big one with the porch.
Yeah. That's it.
I'm sorry, but all the houses
are the same here.
- They is...
- What?
It's "They is" or "They are"?
I've said a hundred times.
I'm sorry. With my English,
I need to make sure...
It's not "your English." It's
just "English." It's awkward.
You can park right up here.
[Lauren] Is that J?
Where are they going?
- Are.
- What?
I mean, it's one person,
but they are singular.
Well, we'll be together
the whole time.
You don't really have to
address them in third-person.
[laughing] What the fuck?
[laughing] I told you
that grocery store sucks.
But pineapple is always firm.
So, what if we go to my aunt's
dinner party tomorrow night?
Well, we can just explain
that the wedding's still...
No, I mean. If I want to
introduce J to them.
Well, we'll figure it out.
First, we should see
if J even wants to go.
[Lauren] J! Hi, we're home.
[Lauren] Which side
of the bed do you want?
[Araz] Maybe I should
sleep somewhere else.
This toothache is really bad
and I get up all the time.
[Lauren] Just sleep here.
You know, I'm doing
a toothache case.
What do you mean
"doing toothache"?
[Lauren] It's for this job
I got at the clinic.
Clinic.
Sometimes they hire performers at
clinics to model for medical students.
So, it's just a random gig.
I know they're not real doctors,
but if you can perform very
well, maybe you can get some
real prescription
of pain killers for me?
[J] Why don't you
go see a doctor?
I want to.
It's so expensive here.
All my friends and relatives, they go
back home to Iran to do their teeth.
With flight money,
it is still cheaper.
I'm adjusting myself to see
if I go back, maybe I can...
[Lauren] We should just get our marriage
paperwork done. Then, we'll see.
Is there different curtains?
What about your room?
Has it changed too?
[Araz] Can I see?
[Araz mumbling indistinctly]
"lost somewhere.
I do not know my age."
Did you write this?
[J] No. They're poems I found.
There's a contest at school.
[Araz] You have a nice room.
- [Lauren] Did you see the hole?
- [Araz] The hole?
Yeah. It's right there.
[Lauren] When J was a baby, Mom and Dad
would make me watch them from time to time.
But I didn't really want to, so
I started making this hole to
try to watch them from here.
But they stopped me
halfway through.
[J] I finished it.
Mom didn't say anything.
[Lauren] Well, she sure
said something to me.
[Araz] So, Lauren,
you were in the other room?
[Lauren] This used
to be my room.
J was in the blue room,
but I made him...
Them switch all the time.
So, anyone use the blue room?
[J] Aunt Annie
was sleeping in it.
[calm instrumental music]
[J] Mom and Dad
were talking about this.
[Lauren] What?
[J] That you were
at this residency last month.
[Lauren] Oh, no. These are from that
Marfa residency I did last year.
What did Mom and Dad tell you?
[J] That you live in
random places and
travel a lot.
[Lauren] Well, that's
their definition of my work.
They think art's
frivolous and fun.
But I have to go to these
residencies for my projects,
and they just end up
being all over the place.
[J] But, I thought you worked
as an actor for the clinic.
[Lauren] Sort of.
That's my day job.
[Skype ring tone]
[Lauren] Oh. It's Mom.
She wants to talk to you.
[Mom] Hello?
Hey, J...
[J] I can't hear you.
[Lauren] Oh. Hi, Mom.
[Lauren] The picture's horrible.
Can you see me?
Can anyone see me?
[Lauren] Yeah, better now.
Can you hear me?
[Lauren] Yeah, a little better.
Sorry. I'm up here
in the attic,
and the reception's
really terrible.
[Lauren] Why are you up there?
Why don't you go downstairs?
No. Annie's sleeping.
She's sleeping up here.
And I came to check on her, and
everybody else is downstairs.
How are things? How are you?
[Lauren] We're fine.
We're making dinner now.
It's nice to be home.
Oh. I wanted to tell you that
I got a phone call
from Dr. Garofalo.
- [Lauren] Garofalo?
- The tests we have to go over...
[J] My doctor.
- Right away on Monday...
- [Lauren] I really can't hear.
Appointment. And so, we're gonna
have to... we changed our reservation.
[inaudible]
[Lauren] I can't
hear you. Monday?
Typical. Always changing plans.
[Araz] Uh, this is ready
when you are.
[Lauren] Let's eat.
I'll call her later.
[Araz] When did they arrive?
[Lauren] Couple hours ago.
- [Araz] Can I take this?
- [Lauren] Yeah.
Have you ever been there?
- [Lauren] Where?
- Poland?
[Lauren] Yeah.
We went to visit my uncle.
You liked it?
[Lauren] Yeah. It was beautiful.
[J] I think it was gloomy.
Ah, you went together.
[J] Not together. I went a couple
years ago. She wasn't with us.
The city's fun, but we
also didn't go out much.
We mostly stayed
at my uncle's house,
where all these guests
were arriving all the time.
The only fun part
was my cousin Jeff.
Have you seen him?
[Lauren] Yeah, but he was
just a baby when I was there.
[J] Oh! He's such
a cool kid, now.
He did this thing with all the guests.
He didn't let them make any small talk...
So he just made
everybody be quiet?
No, no. We were all
sitting around the table.
So, instead of
everyone chatting,
each person asks a question to
whoever was sitting next to them.
Like personal questions?
Anything. Like I ask you
how you pronounce
your last name?
Mm, got it.
How do you pronounce it? I saw it on
your website and I couldn't really tell.
Why were you
looking at his website?
Oh. Mom and Dad saw on your Facebook
that Araz has a photography show.
So, we checked out his website.
I liked your photos, but I
couldn't pronounce the name.
It's, um,
Araz Ghanizadeh.
Ghanizade?
It's Gha... I think
probably you cannot say.
Ge?
- It's Geh.
- Geh.
- Geh?
- [both chuckling]
Okay. Your turn.
Geh.
No. I mean if you want,
you can ask Lauren a question.
We go in a circle.
I thought this was a game for
strangers to get to know each other.
It doesn't matter
how you're related.
Okay.
So, Lauren.
Sorry. Can't think of
anything to ask right away.
Lauren, how do you
pronounce your last name?
[Lauren] Greene. It's "Gh."
[all chuckling]
[Lauren] Actually,
I do have a question.
It's not really a quick
question for the game,
but I'm wondering
about Aunt Annie.
You know I told you my mom's
sister has early onset dementia.
I know she was here and Mom was
taking care of her for a while.
All of a sudden, last week, Mom just called
and said that she was leaving, so...
I mean, I thought she was gonna
stay longer. What happened?
Mom was saying that Aunt Annie
has to go with her to the woods
across the street to exercise.
First, Aunt Annie
wasn't really into it.
Mom was kinda forcing her,
but later, I think she really got addicted.
And she started going by herself.
Sometimes even two,
three times a day.
She used to run or walk.
One day, she didn't come back.
And I had my therapy
that morning.
I came home from there
and Aunt Annie went to run.
Usually, she ran for,
like, an hour,
but that day it took so long.
Mom came home
from work and she was
worried and mad that
I hadn't called her.
But I didn't know. I just thought she
was just taking a longer run. So...
Mom, and Loretta,
and I went to look for her.
- [Araz] Who's Loretta?
- Our neighbor.
- [Lauren] So?
- Oh, nothing. We found her.
She couldn't talk. She
forgot the way and got lost.
It wasn't even that far,
but he was scared,
and she was just
sitting by a tree.
[Lauren] And she
wanted to leave after that?
Well, she was in shock.
Mom and Dad decided it'd be better
for her to leave for sometime.
They were going to hire a nurse, but
she didn't wanna go back to her house.
So, they called Uncle Albert and decided
she should go and stay with him.
But I don't think she'll stay.
She'll come home.
[heavy breathing]
[calm instrumental music]
[J] "...deepest demarcations
can slowly spread and fade
like any blue tattoo.
I do not know my age.
Shadows fall down,
lights climb.
Clambering lights,
oh, children!
You never stay long enough.
The deepest demarcations
can slowly spread and fade
like any blue tattoo.
Shadows fall down,
lights climb.
Clambering lights, oh children!
You never stay long enough.
Tell me how old I am."
[Araz snoring softly]
[woman] Morning, J.
[dog barking]
Matty, come.
You're picking up
for your dad, yeah?
Uh, the bulbs, the irises.
[woman] Some daffodils too?
- Uh, yeah.
- [woman] Lauren is home?
Yeah, she is.
[woman] Your mom said she'd be
here with the new boyfriend.
Here are some daffodils.
These are the irises.
Plant the irises now,
but the daffodils
should wait until fall.
[indistinct chatter]
Your parents
return on Wednesday?
Uh, no. Monday.
[woman] You look pretty today.
[J] Oh, thanks. We're invited
to a party. See you later.
[woman] Okay, bye.
Have a good time.
[boy 1] It's jammed.
[boy 2] Is that J?
- [boy 2] Hey.
- [J] Hey.
- Hey. How's it going?
- Fine.
[boy 2] I think it's stuck.
No. It's the chain.
[J] You really
need to change this.
Mine was also like this. I took
it to George's dad's store.
So, you and George
hang out together?
[J] No, why?
[boy 2] Aren't you
in the same class?
[J] I'm in his class, but I just go to
his dad's store. We're not friends.
Oh. Your dress.
I'm going to a party later.
[boy 1] No. I mean
you left a stain on it.
I should get going.
[J] It should work now.
Thanks.
[Lauren bustling about
in the kitchen]
[Lauren] J?
[J] Yeah.
[Lauren] Where were you?
I thought you were in your room.
[J] I went to get some
bulbs from Norah.
[Lauren] Okay.
We're making breakfast.
[J] I'll eat later.
I have some stuff to do.
[whispering] B,
G,
Blank.
[breathing heavily]
[whispering] B,
G,
Blank.
[Mitsu meowing]
[water flowing]
[calm instrumental music]
[pouring water]
[footsteps approaching]
[Araz coughing]
Uh. Good morning.
Sorry I scared you.
Lauren has some work to do,
and I thought I could
come and see the green house.
Can I come in after this?
[Araz mumbles]
That one needs water, no?
[J] This one?
No. I'm letting it go dormant.
[Araz] What is that?
[J] These are perennials.
They stop growing
for part of the year.
We stop watering them before fall.
Let them sleep for sometime.
I'll take them to
the basement soon.
[Araz] What are
they called, again? Per...
Pernial?
[J] The ones that
go to sleep are perennials.
But not these ones.
These ones here are annuals.
We grow them at
different times of the year.
They grow and
make flowers and seeds,
get dry, and then they're done.
Annual.
I know nothing about flowers,
especially in English.
[Araz] Oh! This is "meymun."
We call them "monkey" in Farsi.
Monkey?
No, they're snapdragons.
What about these?
[J] Oh. These are delphiniums.
[Araz] Delphinium?
[speaking Farsi]
[Araz] Never heard this one.
Which one is your favorite?
It's hard to say.
I think four o'clocks
are special.
Four o'clock?
[typing]
[J] Mitsu.
[Araz exclaiming]
[speaking Farsi]
These are the bonsais. Nice.
They're a good gift, no?
[J] Yeah.
[Araz] Lauren said
maybe we can take...
one of these to my aunt's
dinner party tonight?
[J] Sure.
Choose one.
Maybe...
maybe...
this one?
- [Araz] Are you sure?
- [J] Mm-hmm.
Merci.
[clicking mouse button]
- [knock on door]
- [Araz] Lauren, are you in here?
[Lauren] Yeah. Come in.
[Araz] How did the interview go?
[Lauren] Good. They offered me
a space in, maybe three months.
I have to accept it by tomorrow their time.
Tonight, here.
[sighing] I don't know.
[Araz] Why? I thought this residency's
perfect for your work, no?
[Lauren] Mm.
Maybe it's time to
stop moving around.
[Araz] Are you
going to practice?
'Cause J wants to see this.
Should I get her?
I mean, them.
[Lauren] Yeah, sure.
Can you help?
[Lauren whispering] "27-year-old..."
"Visual hallucinations."
[knock on door]
Yes.
[Araz] Hi. I'm Dr. Henry.
Hi.
I got all your information here.
Should I read?
BP, 140/80,
Temperature, 36.9,
RR, 15, HR, Normal.
Great. So, what
brings you here today?
I've been seeing
strange writing on the wall.
When did it start?
Two days ago.
May I ask what is the content...
Content of the writing?
I don't know. I can't read it.
Uh, so you see a writing,
but you don't know what it says?
[chuckles] What language was it?
It's English,
but I can't tell what it says.
And how long
does it stay on the wall?
Two seconds.
How constant?
Comes and goes.
[Araz] How often?
[Lauren] Four or
five times since yesterday.
[Araz] Do you see them
with your eyes closed?
Do you see them
with your eyes open?
Now?
Now?
No, I'm not seeing them now.
[Araz] Exacerba...
Ex...
[Lauren] Exacerbating factors, no.
Alleviating factors, no.
[Araz] Any change
in your vision?
[Lauren] No.
[Araz] And your hearing?
[Lauren] I hear strange voices.
[Araz] Oh. What is
the content of the voices?
[Lauren] It's unclear. Distant.
[Araz] Do you have
mental illness in your family?
[Lauren] No.
[sighing] Family history?
Mother, breast cancer.
Father, rheumatoid arthritis.
Sexual activity?
Yes. With my girlfriend.
Condoms?
Yes.
Uh, exercise?
No.
Smoking?
Pack a day.
Oh. Drugs?
Occasionally.
What drugs?
Angel dust.
[Araz mumbles]
When was the last time
that you were on angel dust?
Two days ago.
Why didn't you tell me this
from the beginning?
This was one of
my easiest cases.
[sighing] Okay. We have, uh...
We have to do a CV exam,
mini mental exam,
[mumbles] ...blah, blah.
Mr. Peterman, your symptoms are
probably caused by illicit drug use,
or it could be
a medical condition...
which I doubt.
I recommend you to
stop smoking and using drugs.
Mr. Peterman?
I can see the writing.
Now?
[Lauren] Yes. Do you
see them over there?
Here?
[Lauren] Up.
Up.
To your right.
Move to the right.
Over there.
[Araz] Here?
- [Araz] Here?
- Up.
Up.
To the right.
[Lauren] Down some. Down.
Oh. It's over to the right.
It's over there somewhere.
[J] Think I got it.
[growling]
[all laughing]
[J] I didn't know you
played both men and women.
Can we do another one?
How do you play a two-year old?
[Lauren] We'll need a doll.
Can you bring one?
I'll play the mom.
[J] Okay.
[calm instrumental music]
[bee buzzing]
[phone ringing]
[Lauren] Mom?
Let's just talk on the phone.
The video keeps breaking up.
So, I talked to Dr. Garofalo.
He was concerned
with the latest test results.
He said they needed to stop the
blocker soon. Did you know?
Oh. Okay. Does J know?
Yes. We confirmed for tomorrow.
Okay. I can take care of it.
Okay. Don't worry.
If you can't make it
to the clinic, we'll be fine.
You don't think I can
take care of them?
But it's not my fault. I only recently
found out what's been going on.
You didn't keep me
in the loop about anything.
I know I haven't been around.
It doesn't mean I didn't care.
That's not true. J's the only
reason I would ever come back here.
You didn't even let me talk
to them for sometime, remember?
You wouldn't say anything to me.
You wouldn't tell me a thing.
Mitsu!
Of course, I'll be the one to
take care of them now,
but I think that if you didn't
have to go and be with Aunt Annie,
you wouldn't want me
anywhere near them, this close,
to making such a big decision.
[woman speaking softly]
Hey. Sorry.
- [Lauren] No. I don't think so.
- [woman] Hey. Sorry.
[woman] I'm so sorry for interrupting.
Can I ask you something?
Sure. Hold on one second.
Have you seen Mitsu?
Who's Mitsu?
It's our neighbor Loretta's cat.
She's on a trip and
I'm here to cat-sit,
but I haven't seen her
since this morning.
Sorry, no. But let me ask.
[Lauren] J!
Hey, Araz.
Can you help us find Mitsu?
[woman] But how can we
ever find something that small
somewhere this huge?
[rustling]
Wait. Did you hear that?
Was that kid sure
she's an outdoor cat?
Mitsu?
Mitsu loves being outside.
It even doesn't like
the green house.
It just goes out all the time.
Loretta didn't tell me
about the woods.
I heard Mitsu is up here
sometimes and comes back,
but it's been so long.
I searched every inch
of the house.
I hope it's in the spot
the kid was saying.
Are they still looking?
I cannot see them from here.
They're getting far.
[groans] Stupid squirrels.
[Lauren] Can't make up my mind.
It's a good residency, and I'd
like to work somewhere new,
but I'm also tired of moving,
and Araz with be out of status soon.
I'm gonna help him stay.
But I also wanna
be here for you.
Sorry I've been so absent. I didn't
know everything that was going on.
Dad told me that it's
been difficult for you.
[J] Don't feel bad about it.
I've been doing fine.
[Lauren] Dad said
something happened.
That you had a hard time
at school with a boy.
Was it Joe?
Did he do something to you?
Did he say something to you?
Is he the first person you told?
[J] No, I mean,
we're close, but...
I never really talked to him
about who I feel I am.
He just wasn't that type.
[Laura] Did you tell any of
your other friends about it?
Who was your girlfriend then?
[J] Uh, Lilah.
[Lauren] Have you
talked to her about it?
When?
[J] Fourth or third grade.
[Lauren] So before Mom and Dad?
What'd you say to her?
I just told her that I sometimes
really feel like a girl.
And she was cool with that?
Yeah. I mean,
I knew I'm a girl,
but I also wasn't sure.
So she said that we can do some tests
to see if I'm really a girl or not.
What kind of tests?
She said that I should
keep a piece of paper
and write down who I am in the
mornings as soon as I wake up.
And you did that?
Yeah. It's a row, like,
girl, girl, boy, boy, girl.
Or I could just write
B, G, blank, if I don't know.
Blank, blank.
And then you count them
at the end of the month.
[Lauren] Mm.
And you wrote these notes
and then showed them to her?
I keep them for myself.
She was asking me
other questions after that.
What did she ask you?
Like, one time, she asked me who I would
marry, if I could marry anyone in the class.
Did you pick somebody?
Didn't really like anyone
in our class that way,
but I still thought
Joe was better looking.
And what happened?
Nothing.
Lilah said I could be gay.
And then Joe heard about that.
He told me he's not gay
and I shouldn't talk about that.
I just told him
I don't think I'm gay either.
I was only thinking
about it from a girl.
He said, "Well, you
can't really be a girl.
You're not really a boy either.
So, you're probably nothing."
[Lauren] What happened
after that?
[J] I just told him last year
that I went to a doctor
and I got a medication
that gives me time.
He was confused.
He said, "Well, then,
how old are you now?"
And I said it doesn't
keep me from getting older.
It just stops the hormones
for sometime,
and then you can think more.
He didn't get it. He said,
"Do they really do that?"
And I said, "Yeah, you should go and read
about what's happening in the world."
Then he pushed me back hard,
and I punched him
in his stomach,
and he punched me in my face.
He looks tough, but he
isn't even that strong.
I didn't even have a big bruise,
but they sent him to a hospital.
[Lauren] Do you still see him?
[J] I switched
my class this year.
He lives close to us.
Sometimes I see him around.
I don't care about him.
But since this thing
happened with Joe,
they've been asking me all these
questions to make sure that I'm okay.
I thought if I told them,
I'd do something bad to myself,
they'd give me the medicine and
time to decide, as long as I want.
They told me
it's reversible and harmless.
So, I thought I could get it,
and then I'd have more time,
but the doctor said
that we should talk soon.
It's just...
I wish I could remain a child.
I don't know if I
wanna grow and become...
Oh, it was there.
[Lauren] Did you see Mitsu?
[J] No. It's the tree.
Aunt Annie was sitting
by that tree when we found her.
[J whispering]
"I do not know my age."
[continues whispering]
indistinctly
[folk music playing faintly]
[Lauren] Where are we going?
[Araz] I want to stop at the pharmacy to
get some painkillers for my toothache.
I should also get
some gifts for her kids,
but I don't know
exactly how old they are.
[man] Find everything you need?
[Araz] Yes. Yeah.
[man] These projectors use a smart phone.
Do you have one?
[Araz] Yes.
[man] What kind?
[Araz] I don't know.
[man] You don't know
what kind of phone you have?
[Araz] I do, but I'm
buying it for my cousins.
They must have the latest one.
[man] Okay. Just put
the phone in the back,
and they can project anything.
[Araz] Thank you.
Do you have a bathroom?
[man] Yeah. It's
over in the far corner.
[Araz] Ah. Thanks.
J, ready to go?
Thanks. I couldn't decide
for myself, what to buy.
Are you hearing that guy?
He was asking me
so many questions.
Kind of reminded me of
your cousin's question game.
Wanna do the game tonight?
I was thinking to do it now.
Okay.
[Araz] Can I ask my question?
How would you like me
to introduce you tonight?
Do you want me
to say you're Lauren's...
Or I can just say
that we call you "they"?
If they ask, you can just
say I'm Lauren's sibling.
- The brother.
- Okay.
- Do you know Pete?
- Which Pete?
Lauren's ex boyfriend. I think I've
seen you together in an old photo.
Ah. Yeah, I know him.
So, when I moved
to Chicago, I moved
in a room in their place.
Pete went to Europe for work.
Lauren went to residency.
And then they broke up.
I stayed in the same apartment
until she came back, and...
you know, we got closer.
Wasn't Pete upset?
Don't think so.
I think he understood.
May I?
[whispering] Do you
understand what he's saying?
I think he's talking to his mom.
I think it's the wrong one.
There's someone
coming out of that house.
No? Why?
[J trying to open
locked car door]
Hello! Hello, welcome.
Is that for me too?
Thank you very much.
You know what? The kids are working on
making their costumes for Sunday school.
[Negar] Do you like dancing?
Do you wanna dance?
You know what? We can go and
make your costume over there.
[Negar] Actually, kids made it
at Alma's class.
[Lauren] Do you
teach art to children?
She teaches Farsi
at Farsi school.
She helps with everything.
Nice to see you, Lauren.
Sorry, I can't hug you.
The grill had a problem.
I'm fixing it.
No, don't worry. I'll be
careful about the thickness.
Yes. She knows it very well.
Lauren joon. How did
you learn it? It can't be Araz.
Skewing?
Oh. Once we had Araz's
Iranian friends over for dinner.
We made kebab for them.
I just looked it up online.
And I like to grill, so...
[Araz] Yes. Unlike me.
I always miss something.
It's good Araz sees
his Iranian friends.
He doesn't see his
Iranian relatives much.
Congratulations!
Araz said you said "Yes"!
[Lauren] Yes to what?
- Married our prince, I think.
- [scoffs]
So, are you ready?
[Lauren] Yeah, I think so.
[Araz] Thanks, by the way,
for introducing Hosseini.
He will do the paperwork
after the civil ceremony.
[Negar] Then it's gonna be
the non-civil ceremony for us?
[Negar] Lauren went to
the same school as you did.
- UIC?
- [Negar] Yes.
[Lauren] Oh, no.
I graduated from SAIC.
[Negar] Then you know
what Araz did wrong.
What did you study there?
Fine Arts. I did performance,
but I do performance,
sculpture, and installations.
Oh, nice! So, are you
working on anything right now?
What's your art project about?
Well, it might be kind of
hard to explain out of context.
No problem.
I mean, if you like to.
[Lauren] Yeah, of course.
Basically, we work
with environment and land.
So, I use natural elements that are moved and
carried away from their original environment.
And I build
these little structures...
[indistinct loud conversation]
And, they're deliberately
delicate and fragile.
I do balance exercises
beforehand
and I try to balance on them
for as long as possible.
[Kian] I told J to...
[Kimia] J, can you look on the
other side of the rug, please?
[Kian] Her name's J?
[Kian] I didn't put it
over here. I put it over there.
[Kimia] So you did
throw the pin.
[Kian] No, I didn't.
But it's over there.
[Negar yelling in Farsi]
[Lauren] ...it's about displacement
and instability. And...
I also photograph the
structures before and after,
to try to document
the traces of failure...
So, you're taking photos of it.
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
You work with Araz together.
We don't really work together,
but we do help each other.
So, are you really ready
with all the marriage stuff
and the documentation?
Yeah, I think it should be fine.
Oh, good. That's good. I was so worried.
They're very strict here.
Kian, did you set up
the projector?
No. After finishing
the costumes.
[Behrouz] What you want
the flashlight for?
[Kian] For the dance.
[Behrouz] This is not disco dance.
This is Kurdish dance.
You're just saying that because
you wanna wear the pants.
[Kimia] No, I'm not.
It's in the pictures.
See? They're all
wearing the pants.
But these are soldiers.
See? They have guns.
So what? My dad also wore it
when he was a soldier.
But he said he did it with
real dancers. This is a war.
It's a war, but they're dancing.
These are real dancers.
I'm gonna wear this one
with the purple scarf.
I'll wear the one with the gray pants. We
should finish the hats with the scarves.
But we only have three large pants and we can't
even use this one if we don't find the pin.
[Kian] Give me the scarf.
That's my belt.
[boy] But you can't wear
the scarf with the pants.
- [Kimia] Why?
- This is a serious...
[Kimia] I know it's serious.
[Kian] Oh, I think I found the pin.
J, can you hold this for me?
[indistinct conversation]
- [J] Do you want a glove?
- [Kian] No, I'll wash my hands.
[J] No. I mean it's sharp.
[chattering]
[Kimia] You just find another one.
I already showed it to you.
No. I don't wanna
give it to you.
I know what it looks like.
[Kian shouting] Mama!
[Negar] Did you find the pin?
[Kian] No.
But I found the lost brooch.
Mom, you owe me $20.
[boy] What? Can I see it?
[Kimia] Kian, come back here.
You need to find the pin.
[indistinct chattering]
[J] Can I open it?
[Kian] Ask them what they want.
[J] Okay.
Uh. Who are you?
[chattering]
Are you okay?
From your mom and dad. And there's
something in it for Lauren, too
Thank you.
[whispering] I don't understand
what they're saying.
These ones are horrible.
Ones last year was soft.
This one could break my teeth.
No. These ones are permanent.
No, thank you.
[Negar] Oh, Robert goes
to Persian school.
This is my younger sibling, J.
[Sirooz] So sorry.
I didn't know you were here.
I didn't bring anything for you.
But you can have gaz,
but be careful if you
have permanent teeth.
Robert, I don't think
those pants are yours.
[Lauren] Oh, that's beautiful.
J, did you see?
Nice!
[whispering] Can't you
tell them to wear shoes?
I don't think they wear shoes
in the house. Why?
I'm so hungry though,
I'll smoke later.
[indistinct chatter]
[folk music playing]
[Kian] Dad. It's ready.
You need to show them the moves.
[Alma] Everybody,
let's go to the kitchen.
[Kimia] Everybody, get in line.
Front, back.
Front, back.
[speaking indistinctly]
[Kimia] Kian,
what are you doing?
Front, back.
Front, back. Cross.
Hop. Hop.
[Behrouz] Front, back, cross.
Hop. Hop.
Front, back.
What do we do with the hands?
Just try and hold hands.
I'm the leader. I actually should
be the one with the handkerchief.
No. I lead. You're the tail.
[Kimia] I'm not
the tail, Kian. I lead.
I don't want
to be in the middle.
It doesn't matter. You can
all turn your handkerchief.
I haven't done the handkerchief.
[Behrouz] You will.
Good, J.
Kian, what are you doing?
We should go in my direction.
[Kian] No. We shouldn't
But we're not doing this one.
We're doing the wedding one.
[Behrouz] This is
for wedding, too.
No, this is different.
They're holding
their arms, not pinkies.
This is a
guy-girl-guy-girl hands.
We're the doing the one at the
wedding with the children, no?
It doesn't matter what you call this dance.
It's completely free.
Go back to your line.
Robert, hold her hand.
Okay. Stay in your line.
Okay. Here. Okay. Good. Ready?
You come in the middle.
We can do their order.
[Behrouz] Okay. Kian,
this is J's time to lead.
Dad, I need one hand free.
I can't be in the middle.
[speaking in Farsi]
[Behrouz] Okay.
Forward, backward.
Dad, my pants will fall down.
[Behrouz shouting] Kian!
- Forward, backward.
- Dad, my pants are coming down.
- Forward, backward.
- Dad, can you fix this?
Kian, come here.
Dad, my pants are still loose.
I can fix it.
[Kian] Kimia, I told you.
[speaking in Farsi]
Kian!
[Kimia and Kian] Nothing.
[Araz] My sister says many hi's.
[Lauren] I think
you told her I said hi.
Thank you very much
for Araz, by the way.
[indistinct chattering]
[Kian] How do you put
the phone inside it?
[J] There's a hole.
We can use that wall.
[indistinct conversation]
Have you ever seen
a real Kurdish dance?
I could bring some
real Kurdish costumes if I knew.
[Araz] Well, I wonder if you
need the real Kurdish costume
when they're dancing,
you're not being really Kurdish.
[Negar] No, he's not Kurdish,
but his dance has been approved.
Actually, last year
at Hiwa's wedding
everybody said his dance
was so authentic.
[Araz] Was that
part of your duty?
That should've been
a really hard military service.
Too much pressure.
[coughing]
[Behrouz] It's mostly horrible.
But there's something
good about it.
When you're staying somewhere,
you learn something.
[laughing and coughing]
[Araz] If I knew it could be fun, I guess
I wouldn't try so hard to escape it.
You know, I heard in Israel,
it's mandatory for women too.
Yeah. Our friend,
Oriana, has done it.
[Araz] Oh! At least the fun part, and
the weather was better in Kurdistan.
My dad was telling me
the story about
this terrible small town.
[Kian] J, let's go
set up the projector.
Sorry we're talking in Farsi.
We're talking about
this small town Sardasht...
Are meadow's green?
[Lauren] Meadows?
I think so, yeah.
[Alma] I think it's more like Mar-tas.
Dasht is something else, I think.
How long do you wait
to get your citizenship?
[Nima] One year. Then we have
to see if we can sell the house
and move to California,
next year.
- [Kimia] I think it's really rude.
- What?
You guys all speak Farsi,
but not everyone's Iranian here.
That's okay, really.
Yeah, sorry.
I was just saying,
what was I saying?
Yeah. The only thing that
I really decided about my life
are the photo frames.
The rest just happened.
[cell phone ringing]
- I go talk with Nastaran.
- Okay.
I go to have my first Bahman.
No. I've had enough, thank you.
Can I take a pill from your bag?
Yeah. It's just right up
there in the corner.
[indistinct conversation]
[sighing]
[Kian] We need to
attach it to the back.
[Kimia] Kian, don't do that. You're
not supposed to touch the glass.
It doesn't fit.
That's so stupid.
What if people get a new phone?
[Kian] I think you have
to use a small one.
[Kimia] Here.
Let me try my phone.
Mine fits. I'm not gonna change my phone.
I don't like the new design.
[Kian] But you kinda have to.
[Kimia] How come?
[Kian] Because everyone does.
[Kimia] I don't care about that.
[Kian] It's too dark.
It's the picture.
Oh, it's of that
Kurdish dance thing.
With the girls pants
or whatever.
No, I'm moving it.
Come on, J. Don't we
look like real dancers here?
[J] Yeah. I think you do.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
What happened? Did you argue?
[Kian] We can use
the blue table in the balcony.
[Kimia] That's a good idea.
[J] I can go grab it.
- [Kimia] Thanks, J.
- [J] Where is it?
- [Kimia] It's in the kitchen.
- [J] Okay.
[Lauren] Just use my laptop.
I don't know.
Okay.
J, do you have my bag?
Is my computer in there?
Can you please bring it?
Just set it right here.
Thank you.
Can you open that, please?
What's your password?
Okay.
[Skype ring tone playing]
[ringing]
[Araz] Hello.
Hello.
[Araz mumbling]
[Lauren] Should we
try calling her again?
[Araz] Doesn't work.
I'll call her later.
[Lauren] We can
try from my phone.
[Araz] No.
- [Lauren] Definitely not coming?
- No.
[indistinct conversation]
[whispering]
Oh, never mind.
I found something.
J, what do you want?
Oh. They want the table.
[Araz] Take it and
put everything on the floor.
[folk music playing softly]
[Araz] Are you okay?
[Lauren] I'm fine.
[Araz] Did you decide
about the residency?
[Lauren] No. I should
write them soon.
[Araz] You're not thinking of
rejecting it because of me, right?
[Lauren] No, it's not that.
[Araz] I don't want you to
lose it just because of me.
You saw how things
are like up in there.
Maybe I'll just, I don't know,
do something else.
[Lauren] I don't know either.
[calm instrumental music]
[J whispering] B. G.
Boy.
[Lauren] We just left home.
I'll give the papers to the nurse.
Then I have to leave.
I have an interview.
Okay, but can you
call the doctor?
J, do you wanna talk to Mom?
[J] No.
I'll call when we arrive.
[Lauren] Can you get
your suitcases all ready?
Yeah, I'll stay, but I don't think
I'll be here when you get here.
You don't need me
in the meeting.
I'll let the doctor know.
How long is the custom...
[honking]
[Araz] Lauren!
Lauren, I'll go around
the block and come back.
This car is...
[honking]
[Dr. Garofalo] No.
It's okay. They're here.
Yeah. No worries. I'll just
see you when you get here.
[hangs up phone]
That was your parents, and they're
just running a little late.
J?
So, how did things go
with your sister?
It was fine.
And what does she do, again?
She's an artist.
But, she also
works for a clinic.
A clinic? What does
she do for them?
She acts for them.
[knocking at door]
Yeah.
[woman] Here are
the test results.
Thank you.
Was she headed to work?
She had to make sure
about some application,
for an art residency, I think.
Today she had a deadline to decide
whether she was going or not.
She had a hard time deciding.
She might leave.
Are you guys close?
Yeah.
Oh. That's gonna be tough.
Listen. I didn't want you to
worry after our talk last week,
but, I wanted to
go over some of these test
results in person. One on one.
Now, I think it's time
for us to really start
thinking through
what's the next step
to make sure that we're
making the right decision,
and to have you and
your parents on board together
to make that decision.
I think the process
has been great.
So you've taken some time
to really think through things,
to work through
the decisions that you
are facing.
But the bone density results, when
I look at them, are a little low.
And that's not concerning,
in and of itself
because we see that. But these are a
little bit lower than I would like.
So, I think the time is now to think
through, like, what are the next steps.
So, when we add a hormone, we can
reduce the dose of the blocker.
But I think we have to think through which
direction we're gonna go from here.
And I think it's important to
have your parents and you
talk through this together.
J? Are you sure you're okay?
Yeah. I'm ready for it.
Can I go to the bathroom
real quick?
[door opening]
[whispering]
"In the morning it is different.
An open book confronts me,
too close to read in comfort.
Tell me how old I am.
And then the valleys
stuff impenetrable mists
like cotton in my ears.
They say it is my fault.
Nobody tells me anything.
Tell me how old I am.
The deepest demarcations
can slowly spread and fade
like any blue tattoo.
I do not know my age.
I am growing deaf.
The bird-calls dwindle..."
[Dr. Garofalo] You ready? Okay.
One. Two. Three.
Okay, hold that right here
for me.
Got it.
- [woman] Hi. -[J's dad] Hi. Sorry,
we got held up at the airport.
How are things going here?
[woman] J's just getting
the injection...
[Dr. Garofalo] Okay?
[woman] ...you can go in,
in a minute.
[woman] J's parents are here.
[Dr. Garofalo] Okay.
- Hello.
- [J's dad] Oh. Hi.
Sorry we're late.
Just got here from the airport.
[Dr. Garofalo] Yeah,
it's okay. J's here.
[J's dad] How did
the meeting go?
[J's dad] What time does
the poetry contest start?
It starts at four o'clock.
[J's dad] We've still
got some time.
What do you wanna get?
We could get
sandwiches or something.
J, what would you like to eat?
I'm not hungry now.
Are you sure?
[J's dad] We could stop
at home to get something,
if we're quick about it.
I know it's not late,
but I really don't want to be in a big
rush when we get to the ceremony.
We can get something
by their school.
But, we're coming up
on the house.
J, do you have
everything you need?
Are you sure?
[J] "At evening,
something behind me.
I start for a second, I blench,
or staggeringly halt and burn,
I do not know my age.
In the morning it is different.
An open book confronts me,
too close to read in comfort.
Tell me how old I am.
And then the valleys stuff
impenetrable mists
like cotton in my ears.
I do not know my age.
I do not mean to complain.
They say it is my fault.
Nobody tells me anything.
Tell me how old I am.
The deepest demarcations
can slowly spread and fade
like any blue tattoo.
I do not know my age.
Shadows fall down,
lights climb.
Clambering lights,
oh children!
You never stay long enough.
Tell me how old I am.
Stone wings have sifted here
with feather hardening feather.
The claws are lost somewhere.
I do not know my age.
I am growing deaf.
The birdcalls dwindle.
The waterfalls go unwiped.
What is my age?
Tell me how old I am.
Let the moon go hang,
the stars go fly their kites.
I want to know my age.
Tell me how old I am."
[calm instrumental music]
[J whispering] " And then the
valleys stuff impenetrable mists...
I start for a second..."
blench, or staggeringly halt...
Let the moon go hang, the
stars go fly their kites.
I want to know my age.
Tell me how old I am."