1
- Without you watching this
video,
my life would be without
purpose.
So depressing.
Firstly, I just want to say
thank you,
thank you so much for...
Gah, cunt.
Hey, guys, how you guys doing
tonight?
Louie here.
First things, first.
Happy New Year!
I'm just so blooming excited.
I feel like I should be
drinking champagne or something
in this video, or dropping
like a miniature ball.
Yeah, that's great.
A graphic of ball dropping.
Put my face on it maybe.
Yeah, I like that.
...For watching as always,
but especially today
because...
Can't find the fucking...
Because, drum roll!
Yesterday we hit our goal
of 4 million subscribers!
You guys really are the
best, but now, as promised,
on to my annual New Year's post.
It's the second so you've
gotta give me credit
for getting it in before Good
Friday.
Add the graphics.
Celebratory music.
Um.
Yeah, that's it.
Alright so, first
question is from Mildred.
Oh, Mildred.
That's my Mum's name.
Wait, Mum, is that you?
Alright, so what's your
New Year's revolution?
What?
It's two o'clock in the morning.
Then...
Come on, wake up, dude!
Think, hot coffee.
Cold water!
Cold water!
Ah.
So, Mildred asks what's
your New Year's resolution?
Well, Mildred.
I'll be tackling cooking this
year.
My girlfriend got me this
slow cooker for Christmas
and I intend to slowly cook a
lot.
I actually signed up for a class
'cause I have no idea
how to cut vegetables
and that was completely rubbish
so you can cut that last line.
For me, if the first step
isn't remove from package
and the second step isn't put in
microwave
then I have no idea what I'm
doing so.
I signed up for a class
because I don't have any idea
how to use a knife.
- I do!
- Yo, what the fuck!
Okay, no, no, no, no, please,
please.
- Wait.
Action.
- Can we watch it?
- Ah.
- Finally!
- Wow.
- We're here!
- I love it.
- This place is huge!
- Yes.
- It's cozy, right?
- Stop.
- It looks kinda haunted.
- Come on.
- I'm just kidding.
- I tried.
- It's not haunted.
- Of course not.
- Look, we have a lion.
- Not bad, right?
- One lion.
Only one lion?
- Do you know if it's in
operation or not?
- Oh my God, Doogie.
- I'm all right.
- Sorry, Doug.
- How 'bout, no, accidents on
day one.
- I should probably--
- Chill out.
- Yeah.
I'll get down, I'll get down.
- They gave me a key.
- What do you think?
- No, clearly I do.
- It's unlocked.
Yeah, they gave me a
key, but it's not, look.
- Okay.
- Well, let's check it out.
- How very inviting, huh?
- Right.
- Welcome, welcome to
Cribs!
Some stranger's house.
We got this chest from
the deck of the Titanic
and we keep our most valuable...
...pine cones.
This chandelier also from... the
Titanic.
Wicker basket, you guessed
it, from the Titanic.
And...
What the fuck?
This lamp, it looks like a lamp,
but it's actually a tiny house.
What?
I can't even, with these
paintings?
And now our most exquisite room.
- Whatcha you doin'?
- It's locked.
- Yeah, probably for good
reason.
Wanna come help us unload?
Chop chop!
- Hey.
I feel like Belle from
Beauty and the Beast.
- Well, you definitely
look more like the beast.
- You're gonna cringe at the
joke
when you're going through
the footage later.
- Hey, Aaron, will you help
get the food from the car,
and then start dinner with
Joanna?
Me and Doug will take care of
gear.
- You don't want a
man to do the heavy lifting?
- Uh, no, she wants
a man to do the cooking
and cleaning, Belle.
- Okay.
Now, that just makes you look
stupid
because Belle had like an
army of ka-ramic slaves
doing everything for her.
Uh huh.
- Do you mean ceramic?
- All done?
- Um, yes and no.
- What do you mean?
- Well, it means nobody's home,
Robin.
Doesn't matter how many
of these I drop off.
- Yeah, I mean, but a lot
of the scenes are at night.
We can't be getting--
- Well, I know but this is a
winter town
and it's summer so the people
who probably own these homes
are at their beach houses or
something.
- Yeah, but if we get
interruptions and we're supposed--
- We won't get any interruptions,
are you kidding me?
- Uh, guys, they left a note.
Ready?
Cody, you ready, okay.
Dear cast and crew of Lover's
Weekend,
hope the trip was safe.
We left a case of beers in the
fridge.
Yes!
May your journey toward truth
take you
to unexpected places.
Sincerely, the Havermans.
P.S., we don't internet,
service is shoddy,
but house phone works.
And there's a quote at the
bottom, which I'll let you read.
- "What is filmmaking
but groping in the dark?"
Alexander Payne.
Ugh, so much fuzz.
- Got a hair on there?
I don't think, anyone's gonna
see that.
- I wanna look.
- Robin.
- I wanna look put together!
- You always look put
together.
It's like your life is put
together.
- Thank you.
- You shoot your
first feature tomorrow.
- Mm-hmm.
- Tell me about it.
- Okay, yeah, so it's about
me and my boyfriend, both.
Well, my boyfriend, it's about
both of us.
It's about.
Sorry, okay, I'm gonna
start again, I can't...
- You are awful at this.
- I'm really bad at pitching,
okay.
- Yeah, clearly.
- Okay.
- Your husband
is your only investor.
- Hey, hey, hey, don't spoil the
movie.
- Binny, this is a
behind-the-scenes documentary.
If someone watches this
like before the actual film
they're sociopaths.
- Still I have to explain
the plot first so.
Context.
- Yeah, I'm painfully
aware of that fact.
- Okay, okay, geez.
So this movie is about a
long weekend that I spent
with my boyfriend at the time.
Now husband.
- Ooh.
- I'm getting to...
I'm gettin' to the bones.
Okay.
- Good morning.
- Jesus.
Oh, you scared me.
You found Cody's camera.
Well, she was interested in
behind-the-scenes footage.
Might be useful.
You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
Just trying to be helpful.
- That's all you've been doing.
None of this would be
possible without you.
I very much appreciate it.
That feels surprisingly nice.
You are one lucky woman.
- Now go on.
You said I could paint
without any distractions.
But he actually found
out both of his parents
were killed on a car
crash on Christmas day.
And, yeah, we got snowed
in that day and, anyway.
Secrets were shared and like,
our relationship evolved.
It was, yeah, it was, you know.
And then more time.
- Tell them about the
house.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
We won a contest.
Yeah, um, this film, this
couple they love film
or whatever and they ran
a contest for a filmmaker
to come and shoot at their
winter home.
I just had to write about
my passion for film.
- They didn't want
to know about the film?
- No, I wrote a little about it
but,
no, they wanted to know about
the filmmaker, specifically.
- What'd you write about?
- I don't really remember.
Kinda just did it on a whim, you
know?
I didn't think.
- Ooh.
Just did it on a whim!
- Oh yeah.
- No big deal.
Brush it off the shoulders.
- Yeah.
- Okay, introduce the
crew.
- Okay, yeah.
- There's Aaron.
He's very um, passionate about
his craft.
He's a friend from college.
- I was 15 and my buddy
pulls out this photo
and it's literally a picture
of a penguin's butthole
that's taking a poop.
- What?
- And he drew little eyes on
top of it and a little mouth.
- Gross.
- And it looks like a little.
- How do you even
find a penguin butthole
to take a picture?
- And then there's
Joanna.
And she doesn't look
anything like me, obviously,
but she had the best performance
and I really wanted to cast
based on that.
She was, oh, she was awesome.
And then there's Doogie, or
Doug.
I guess he
insists on being called now.
We have known him since
kindergarten, mm-hmm.
Forever.
And then there's you,
my sweet baby sister.
- Mm.
- Rockin' the behind-the-scenes.
And that's it.
Yeah, we're small.
- Sweet, okay.
Um, I think I'm gonna take this
audio
and then I'm gonna lay it over
the footage
that we got in the van this
morning.
I think that will look pretty
cool.
- Okay.
- You don't like that.
- I said okay.
- Yeah, but you made the
face.
- What face?
I didn't make a face.
- No, you make the
face that Mom always makes
when she thinks I'm making...
- Okay.
- Bad choices.
- Well, you do that face too.
Plenty of times.
- So you admit you made
the face?
- Oh shit.
Caught in a lie.
I'll look at it, but, I don't
know.
It kinda feels a little hokey.
Don't you think?
My thoughts on documentary
are a little more, you know,
like Maysles' brothers.
Like let the story just kind of
happen.
Don't like, try to.
- What story?
I'm not trying to shoot some
award winning documentary here.
I'm just trying to get some,
like bonus
feature DVD kind of stuff.
- Well, I don't know.
I thought your perspective
on the whole thing
would be really interesting.
Maybe you wanna explore that.
- Why explore
something so disturbing?
No, but seriously, get my
camera away from the water.
I am terrified!
That is my soul you're holding,
come on.
Can you get me a beer?
No, no!
Get that way from the hot tub.
- Never!
- That's my baby!
- Come on! Speech!
- Hey, are you ready, are you
ready?
- Yes, ready, thank you.
- Yes, yes.
- Alright.
Okay, first I would like to
thank everyone for being here.
Having you all here
couldn't make me happier.
No I really, seriously,
I couldn't spare a single one of
you.
You're a part of something
that I really believe in
and I think, hopefully,
you believe in too.
- Don't cry.
- I'm not, it's the water!
- I need to get through this.
- Okay, shh.
- No, this is, this is...
You have no idea how
important it is for me
to tell this story.
And you guys are each doing
like four or five jobs
and that's to help me get to
tell it so.
Just, thank you.
From the bottom of my
heart, so much gratitude.
- We appreciate you--
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
- What is that?
Joanna, you awake?
First shot of the moviola!
- You like the makeshift
dolly I have for the scene?
- It's all right,
it's a little sketchy.
Look how into it she is.
Prepped.
Letting nothing infringe on her
focus.
- Grab the boom please.
- Yes!
- Thank you.
Let's do it.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Rolling.
- Scene 17, take one.
Action.
- Wow.
- You like it?
- It's beautiful.
Must have cost a fortune.
- We never get away and I
thought...
Shit, line!
- Cut.
- Okay.
- Wow.
- You like it?
- It's beautiful.
It must have cost a fortune.
- Well, we've never really
been on vacation before.
- Okay, back to one.
- Seriously?
- Did I say the wrong line?
- Yeah, no, it's not a huge
deal.
I like the tone, but that
wording is really important--
- Cutting camera.
- I just couldn't sleep.
- Yeah, was it that
noise?
- No, what noise?
- I don't know, just
something weird in the woods.
But why couldn't you sleep?
- My friend from high
school died recently.
- Aaron, I'm so sorry.
- It was some undiagnosed
stomach issue.
It just happened in his sleep.
- Geez.
- What kind of
person do you have to be
to write a goodbye on
someone's Facebook wall?
Like to assume that there's an
afterlife
and that afterlife is so boring
the person
wants to check Facebook.
- That's
what kept you up at night?
That and my never ending
fear of mortality.
Wait, what was that noise you
were talking about before?
- Animal maybe?
- Doing what?
- I don't know.
- No, it's too repetitive.
It has to be human.
- Alright, guys, let's do this.
Let's get back to work.
- Well, I don't want
to freak you out but--
- Aaron, feeling better?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, much better.
Food really helped.
- Awesome, sweet.
- It's not out of the
realm of possibility.
- Uh, hey, can we?
- It's a densely wooded area
they're known to be nocturnal.
- Doug, can we be good to go in
10?
- Yeah. That's fine.
- Awesome.
- You hear that?
- Yeah. It's louder this
time.
- It's that noise again.
Someone chopping wood.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Who chops wood at 2AM?
- I don't know,
but that's what it is.
- How do you know?
- I grew up in the
mountains.
- Serious?
- Yeah.
- For some reason I
thought you
grew up in hotel.
- Okay, no one grows up
in hotel.
- Tell that to the kid
from Dunston Checks In.
- Guys.
- I'm gonna say something.
- No, don't, no, no, no.
- Hey!
Do your chores during the
day like everyone else!
Hello?
Anyone out there?
- Seriously?
Guys, we have to be up in three
hours.
- Sorry, man.
Well, good night, you fuckin'
weirdo.
- I mean, I like what he's
doing.
He's just trying to make it
naturalistic for his character.
- I know, and I trust you, I
really do.
I just think, you know, you
wrote
all these natural flourishes and
I just.
- I know the lines.
- I'm not saying that
you don't.
- That's not really the problem.
- Robin, Can we talk about
the mantle piece for a minute?
I just feel like it's a
little bare considering--
- I'm trying to talk to my
actors.
- But I'm taking about--
- You said you could do this.
- I said that we could do this.
- You need to get the cues so
that
she knows when to talk.
- I will, I'm gonna get 'em,
- Oh great, now I look
like the difficult actress.
- Drama!
- Turn it off.
- Ohhh, now I'm in the
drama!
- Turn it off!
- Hey, Cody, have you seen my
headphones?
- No.
- Uh oh.
- What?
- Aaron and I just have very
different approaches to acting.
I'm classically trained and he--
- And he's like never
even heard of Stanislavsky?
- You said it, not me.
- Look, I'm trying to
decide if I wanna say this
on camera or not.
I think it's a compliment,
but...
- Oh, now you have to say
it.
- I read your sister's
script and... I just knew.
It's really honest.
It's really rare.
Are you okay with how honest it
is?
- Yeah, it's totally
fine.
It's not a big deal.
- Yeah?
Because...
We shoot that scene tomorrow
and it's really intense.
I know you're gonna be watching.
- I guess I need to know
that you're gonna be
comfortable with it.
- Robin and I haven't
been talking for a while.
I don't know.
She kind of sent this script
as like an olive branch.
And you're right.
It was just brutally honest in
ways
that she had never been before.
So I'm not just okay with it.
I'm happy it exists.
- Good.
'Cause I think it's gonna be
really good.
All right, I gotta get back in
there.
- Hey, I have an
extra pair of headphones
if you wanna use them.
- You do?
- Yeah.
- You're not using them?
- No.
- Thank you!
Okay, you're a life saver.
I have this playlist I
like to listen to before
to get me in...
- Not now, Cody.
- Mm, come on.
I gotta get your thoughts.
- My thoughts are that
we just lost half a day
from that argument and I
gotta figure out what scenes
we can lose to make up for it.
- If you don't wanna talk
about it,
I'm thinkin' that I should see
that essay.
- What essay?
- The one that you
wrote to get to this house.
I mean, like to win this.
I was thinking that, you
know, if it's good enough
then I could read it out loud.
- No, no, no.
- Then I'm gonna cut it in
with the last--
- I don't have it any more.
- Well, it must be
in your email or something.
You must have it somewhere?
- Cody, no.
- I'll go talk to Doogie
then.
- Oh, can you not please?
He's finding all of
this very overwhelming.
- Well, if you
need someone else on set
why don't you just call your
husband?
I mean, Max is probably
available.
- We're kind of on a break right
now.
No, not a break, we're just
using the time
apart to think about...
Uh, will you delete that?
Actually, what I just said?
I shouldn't...
It's not what I meant.
- Yeah.
- Will you do it now please?
- Yeah, yeah, got you.
- Please, I don't want the
chance of him hearing it.
Will you just do it?
- Yeah, I'll delete it
right now.
- What the fuck are you doing?
If something's wrong, I
said to come talk to me.
You know that.
- There's nothing wrong.
- Good.
I brought you something.
Where are your manners?
- Can I have it please?
What did you bring me?
- Please and thank you.
- Thank you so much, it means a
lot.
- Okay, open it.
- Well, what is it?
- She's drawing now.
- Okay.
- You see, I think she still
loves you.
- I don't know.
I mean, it's pretty verbatim.
- He actually said these things
to you?
- He was lashing out
at whoever was close to him.
- Okay.
I mean, it just, it kinda
seems like he's being
a bit condescending.
- Yeah, his world just ended,
right?
His reactions are not gonna
be the normal Max reactions.
- Yeah.
- Hey, it's a pretty big scene
today.
I'm sure I can manage here
without you.
- No, no, no, no,
I want to help, Doug.
- Alright.
In that case I gotta put
a bigger light in here
if you wouldn't mind.
- Oh yeah, of course.
- Yeah?
Just need to give it a little
tug here
and you should be good.
- Ooh, pro.
- Like a pro.
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I was just
helping him Doog-- Doug
- Mind if I use your camera?
I wanna get a second angle.
- Yeah, of course.
- Thank you.
Action.
- I need you to be open right
now, Robin.
For me.
I can't handle this
emotional shutdown, okay?
If you have something to say to
me,
if you have something to tell
me then just fucking say it!
- My Dad would molest my
sister in front of me.
- What?
- He would say if you tell on
anyone
then I'll do the same thing to
you.
He made me stay in the room
every time.
I think just to keep the fear
fresh.
It worked 'cause you're the
first person I'm telling.
And the only reason it stopped
is because he died of a heart
attack.
He would make me turn
on a movie full volume
I think, so my Mom couldn't
here.
I should have stopped it, I
should have...
- You're disgusting.
- What?
- How?
How could you let that piece
of shit even do that to her?
How could you let him?
Are you fucking kidding me?
- Someone's at the door.
- Cody, we're gonna look nuts
if we answer with a camera.
Hey, don't say anything, okay?
No macho confrontational
bullshit.
Evening.
- Good evening.
You're not the Havermans.
- No, no, we aren't,
but they're letting us film
here.
- I forgot my air freshener
here.
- We're making a movie.
- Oh.
- Hey, um, where's your
car?
- Is it pornography?
- What, no, no, it's
not.
It's um...
No, it's a drama.
- My husband wanted to
apologize for the other night.
He doesn't sleep well like you
and I.
- The chopping sound.
- Oh.
- Yes.
He chops wood.
He has anxiety.
- Who doesn't?
- I don't.
- I don't mean to be
like weird,
but we were just in the
middle of shooting a scene.
- Quite all right.
I should get going anyhow.
I have a long day tomorrow.
- A long day.
Well, you're welcome to
come to our wrap party.
And we'd love to meet
your husband as well.
- Nice to see y'all.
- Thanks, have a nice night.
You filmed that whole thing,
didn't you?
- What's wrong with her?
- Ugh, let's
just shoot this scene.
I cannot do another 14-hour day.
- Let's do this.
Hey.
- Hey.
What are you doin'?
- Just helping out a little.
Well, I mean, it was a pretty
intense day, don't ya think?
- Yeah.
Yeah, that woman really creeped
me out.
- I mean, she was a little weird
but like.
I meant like the work we
did today... do you wanna--
- that scene.
- Have you locked the doors?
I don't feel comfortable with
her around.
You know what I mean?
- Cody, I wanna talk about that
scene.
- I really think we should lock
the doors.
- I mean, is that really
what's bothering you?
That was like some heavy stuff,
you know?
What?
- Hey.
- It's closer.
I'm gonna tell him to move, at
least.
Hey, man, you're scaring people!
You mind going closer to your
house?
You're first...
- What did he just say?
- What the hell?
- Are you fucking kidding
me?
- Give me the camera.
- Aaron, don't--
- I'm gonna stop this shit.
- Don't!
- Got me chasing through
the woods
in my fuckin' boxers!
Show yourself, man.
What the fuck?
- Aaron!
- What's wrong?
What happened?
- Someone--someone's inside.
- Take this.
Stop recording.
Goodnight, see you in
the mornin'
- I'm not sleeping
tonight.
- They had to be
gluten-free too.
- I'm telling you, someone
just didn't close the door
and a critter walked in.
- Okay, how can an animal open a
fridge?
This isn't funny.
- You don't know what could
be or could possibly not be.
She said she saw something and
it may be,
I don't know.
We could go to town, I mean,
like,
maybe this is like a thing here.
- No, we can't do that.
We're losing so much day light.
- Are you...
Are you filming right now?
Will you excuse us for a second?
You just
can't turn it off, can you?
- What?
- This gross invasion of my
privacy.
- Cody, calm down, all right.
Just chill out for a second.
- This is all like a setup,
isn't it?
- You wanted to be a part of
this project.
I am trying to help you.
- Then stop filming me.
- You know, I think you're
just...
You're reacting to the emotional
stress
of yesterday's scene.
- I cannot believe you just said
that.
- What?
- When I read your script it
felt like,
like you were finally
admitting what you did wrong.
- I was.
- I am catching you filming
me, manipulating me.
- What, are you hearing
yourself?
That's crazy.
- I mean, it's written
in the script, isn't it?
- What, what, I don't know
what you're talking ab--
- So stupid, so...
- What the fuck?
- You're the fucking
protagonist!
You're taking this, this very
real thing
that happened to me and
you're taking my real emotions
and you're using it to exploit
me.
To tell your story.
- Hey.
Come here, sit down.
That is...
- You don't even care about me.
- I'm sorry.
That's not true.
I do care.
I...
I thought I was helping.
I'm not good at this.
What can I do?
- Nothing.
I don't know, I don't know.
This doesn't feel right.
Like everything's wrong here.
Like it's like.
It's the woman and it's the
fridge
and the noises at night, you
don't...
You weren't there, you don't--
- Listen.
What is it that you think we
should do?
I mean, what makes you feel
better about all of this.
I hear you--
- Let's just call the cops.
- Cody, I'm not trying to be a
bitch,
but they're gonna laugh in our
face.
I mean, what are we saying to
them?
- I know, but if, but if I...
- Hey, okay.
I have an idea.
We have a full day of filming
today,
but when we're done--
- why don't we go into
town, we'll get some dinner.
We'll relax a little bit.
We'll get out of the house.
I think, I think the isolation
is just
getting to you a little bit,
okay?
- Okay.
- Like all your
problems have melted away.
For the moment, at least.
Good, perfect.
Cut!
Gorgeous, let's do it one more
time.
- A little lower.
- Lower, lower, lower.
- Still don't know you manage to
do this.
- Oh yeah, how's chore prison
over there, Doogster?
- That should be you!
- No, I thought, I...
- Oh, here it comes.
- I don't know, I just thought
when you said the window
doesn't come back up...
- That I was joking.
- I didn't...
- That's hilarious.
- Listen, he saved the day
and you almost ruined it.
When that waitress looked at you
like...
- Oh, yes.
- That was not even my
fault.
She was just crazy.
- Wait, tell the story
again.
- No, no, no, God, please don't.
Don't, do not.
- No.
We can't retell that story.
- Why, I wanna it
for the behind the scenes.
- Honestly, Cody, you had to be
there.
It would be awkward to retell
that story.
- Hey, keep that thing rolling.
Behind the scenes.
- Shit.
Sorry, you missed it kiddo.
- Hey, by the way,
how you feelin'?
- Good.
Town was not as far away as I
thought.
- Yeah.
Told ya.
And, guys, I think I got it.
- Look at that!
- I owe this bastard five bucks.
- Oh my God.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- Oh, the room was very br--
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, the phone's not working.
- What?
- It's probably nothing.
- You trying Morse code.
- Sorry, just, I haven't
talked to my husband
since I got here.
I don't know, it's not fair.
All he's done for me, I just.
I want everything to be okay,
you know?
- It's okay, um.
Yeah, I'll go town.
I'll call him.
And then I'll find someone that
can
fix the phone and bring
him back here, okay?
- Yeah.
Thanks.
- Focus on the movie.
- Yeah.
- You know we could...
We could...
We could do the scene, the
parent scene.
That way Joanna could, she could
help.
- Yeah, that's a good
idea.
- 35,000 feet in the air and
dropping,
there's nothing you can do.
And that makes it far worse.
- My mic keeps falling.
- The car doesn't start.
- Oh, whoa, what do you
mean?
- What the fuck did I
just say?
The car, it does not fucking
start.
- You're okay, we're all
okay.
- I mean, we've got a broken
phone.
We have crazy neighbors.
I mean, how does no one else
see that this is an issue?
- Let's just calm down.
- Fuck you.
Turn it off.
No more fucking cameras.
- Here, drink this.
- We have to do something.
- Cody, I know you're
worried,
but it's probably nothing.
- I don't wanna be stuck here,
Robin.
- We won't be.
- Yeah, the car definitely isn't
working.
- Guys, this is probably a
coincidence,
a random series of events.
Trust me, I don't like that the
car's
not working either, but.
- This is more than just
some stupid phone call
to your fucking husband.
I mean, I feel like, like,
like something bad's happening.
- Could you tell what
was wrong with the car?
- No.
- Well, did someone tamper with
it?
Did someone break something?
- Wait, why would anyone do
that?
- I mean, look, I'm not a huge
car guy,
but all the obvious things are
fine.
- Robin, I'm really freaked out.
- Listen, I'll just walk to
town.
- No, Doug, we need you here.
You're my DP.
Once Cody calms down...
- I'm not gonna calm
down.
- Look, okay, I get it,
I see your point of view.
Listen, that's why I gotta go.
You need your actors here.
Cody's in no shape to go
anywhere.
Let's be honest, you can still
shoot something without me.
- I wanna go to town.
- Well, then fucking go, okay!
- Don't talk to her that
way.
- I'm sorry, I didn't.
We're just so far behind.
I feel like this is my one
chance and I'm blowing it.
- Oh, you mean I'm
blowing it.
- No, God.
Cody, I don't--
- Come on.
Look.
Robin, I know that you think
that Cody's overreacting here.
I mean, but not having a car or
a phone.
I mean, what if there's an
accident?
- Yeah, I know, but I need you
here.
- Listen, you have the shot
list.
You'll be fine.
Robin, Cody is scared!
And when we were kids I saw
her scared and I did nothing.
And I won't let that happen
again.
Look, it should take me
about an hour and a half
to get to town and I don't know
how long
to find a tow truck after that.
Look, everything's gonna be all
right.
Town's not that far, remember?
- Yeah.
- Come here.
- I know that you're kicking off
customers
for fucking employees.
No, listen to me, asshole!
I need to get on that fucking
plane
because my parents are fucking
dead!
No, don't you fucking dare.
I'm gonna get on that fucking
plane, you understand me?
I need to be there, I
need to fucking be there!
Fuck you!
Mother fucker!
Okay, what the fuck?
- A rock.
- What is it?
"Give them pleasure, the
same pleasure they have
"when waking up from a
nightmare?"
Alfred Hitchcock.
- Was this you?
- What?
- Is this you, are you doing
this?
Are you fucking with me?
- No, I would never.
- You're taking advantage.
This is all for some fucking
documentary about me, isn't it?
- Cody, there are no cameras
running.
- You want me to act out.
You want me to freak out.
It's her, it's her, it's you!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, girls,
girls, girls.
Let's just go sit down, okay?
Look who's here, look who's
here
There's a boy I'm mad about
Oh my dear, when he's near
So big and strong, so full of
youth
Oh Momma, oh Poppa, tell me
the truth
- Hey.
You need a ride?
- You headed to town?
If you don't mind.
- Doogie, get in.
- How do you know my...
- We don't know that, Joanna.
We just don't know how long it
takes
to walk to town, all right?
- Cody's right!
Someone is fucking with us.
- We should go find a neighbor.
- Robin, we have to assume
that Doug already tried that.
If he'd seen anyone home.
- Why wouldn't anyone be home?
- He was handing out the gift
baskets
and that's what he said, right?
- We should at least try.
I mean, he only hit the houses
out front on the main road.
There are a lot more back in the
woods
that we didn't drive by and
he probably didn't get to.
- Robin, we're losing it here.
I just think it's a foolish idea
to go wandering through
the woods at night.
- Listen to me, Cody has
been trying to warn us, me,
about all this and I've
been too focused on my movie
to listen to her.
She's not crazy for being
as scared as she is.
We're crazy for not listening to
her.
- We're all crazy.
Damn it, all right, I'll go.
- Thank you.
- We should all go.
- No, no, no, no, you should
honestly stay here with Cody.
- You can't just leave three
girls alone.
- Yes, I can.
- Fine.
Cause we're women we
can't handle ourselves?
- Right.
- Look, I'm just as
feminist as the next girl.
Someone threw a fucking
rock through the window.
I'm legitimately creeped out.
Yeah, we should.
Yeah, we should stay together.
- Robin, you will be together.
I'll be fine.
Okay?
I promise.
- Yeah, okay.
- You ready?
Lock the doors after me.
Hey.
I'll be right back, all right?
And just so you know that it's
me
I'm gonna ring the doorbell once
and then two quick times, okay?
Like ding, ding ding.
- Okay.
Yeah.
- Okay?
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- And if you hear any other type
of ring,
you don't even come to the door.
- Wait.
- Are you gonna try next door?
- She was fucking weird, right?
And...
The chopping outside, it's not
normal.
- I know, I just...
- I'll save it for last.
- Okay, just come back soon.
- I will, I'll be right back,
all right?
All right.
- Where are they?
We're just fucking sitting here!
- Stop, Cody!
- It's stupid!
- I can't.
Please just stop, you're making
it worse.
- I'm making it worse?
I'm...
Fuck this, I'm getting
the fuck out of here.
- Is that the phone?
- The phone works.
The phone works!
- Answer it, go answer it, go
answer it!
- Hello?
Oh my God, it's Doug!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hi.
He has a tow truck and
he's five minutes away.
- Okay.
- What took you so long?
He did get lost.
Yeah.
Well, we're gonna stay here, of
course.
I love you, Doogie.
See you soon.
- Thank fucking, God.
Thank fuckin' Doogie!
- Yeah.
- Doogie.
- Okay, we have a phone that
works.
Um.
Who do we call?
- Oh, I should call my
husband.
Tell him I'm okay.
- No, I meant like, like
the cops.
- Yeah
- Why?
I mean, Doug said he was coming,
right?
- Well, yeah, but, Robin,
someone threw a rock
through our window.
I mean, that's not--
- Okay, okay, sure, but just.
I'll call Max really fast.
Who knows how long that
phone call could take.
I'll just tell him I'm okay and
then
call the cops right after.
I promise.
I'll be fast.
- Fine.
- Hey, babe.
Oh my God, no wait, guys.
He's on his way here.
- Really?
- Yeah, to surprise me.
Wow, that's so fantastic.
No, the shoot's been good,
there's just
some weird stuff has happened.
Hey, do you mind?
No, we're fine.
I mean, we're gonna call
the cops in a second.
- I think I'm gonna take a
shower.
kinda calm down a little bit.
Do you need anything?
- I'm all right.
- Cody, I think if someone
were trying to, I don't know,
do whatever, then why would the
phone
start ringing again?
I'm with you, that rock was
scary,
but if someone's trying to fuck
with us
that's just what they're doing.
They're just fucking with us.
- You're right.
- It's gonna be okay.
- You home?
Hello?
Hello?
Guys, anyone home?
We just need help.
Our car is broken down.
- Yeah, I know.
It's been an interesting week.
- Help.
- Doug.
- Help.
- Doug.
- Make it stop.
- Where are you, man?
- I'm hurt,
please.
- What are you doing out there?
I was worried about you, man.
What the--
Please.
Please, don't kill me.
Please.
- Are you scared?
- Yes.
Yes.
- I envy you.
Leave it.
Go on, get the bucket.
You understand what I'm
trying to do, right?
- Yes, of course.
- Good.
I know you have a different
vision
for how this would pan out.
I did this for all of us.
Give me your eyes.
Because we're a family.
- Yes.
There's no one in the world I
trust more.
- Gold star.
Faith.
It's an important quality to
have.
It's something I admire about
you.
Mm.
Don't forget the pinky toe.
Oh.
- It's just been
problem after problem.
I'm glad your coming.
I'm excited to see you too.
- How did Doug know our
number?
- Oh, just one second.
- When I was talking to him on
the phone
he seemed different.
He seemed odd.
He didn't correct me.
- Didn't correct what?
- I called him Dougie
and he didn't correct me.
- Um, sorry, babe.
We need to call the police.
I'll call you back right after,
I promise.
- No!
No!
No!
- Hello?
Max, are you there?
It's dead again.
Max?
Max, oh fuck!
- How does that happen?
- Where's Joanna?
- She's upstairs taking a
shower.
- Oh God.
Joanna, are you in there?
Joanna?
You said she was in the shower?
- I know, but I don't
hear the water running.
- Oh, thank God.
- What?
- It's Aaron.
- No, it could be anyone.
- He did our secret ring, it's
him.
- Girl Scout cookies.
- Oh my God, run, run!
- Don't be scared.
- Oh God, no, no, no, no
no!
Oh my God, oh my God,
oh my God, oh my God!
Oh my God, no!
No!
Oh no!
- We have to get up.
We have to get up.
Cody, you have to get up.
We gotta get up.
We gotta go.
- Oh, there you are, Peter.
- Where, where?
Come here, come here.
Okay, okay.
Get down, get down.
- No!
- Please, please, don't leave
me.
She's...
She's right...
- Look in my eyes, she can't get
in.
- Scooch.
Girls, Robin, Cody?
- I don't wanna die.
- I just wanna tell
you a story.
It's about Paul Bunyan!
Fuck, this is harder than I
thought.
- No, no, no, no,
Please, please!
The lumberjack extraordinaire!
- You can not!
No.
- Fee, fie, foe, fum!
I smell the blood of two
bitches!
- You were always braver
than me.
- Your tears bring me
pleasure.
- I'm so sorry.
- I'm gonna murder
you.
- Come on.
We're gonna rush him.
Come on, come on, we're gonna...
Who could that be?
Come on.
Come on.
- Robin?
Robin?
Robin, you here?
- Max!
- Where are you guys?
- Max, run!
Max, just fucking run!
- What happened to this door?
What kind of movie are you guys
shooting?
What's going on, you okay?
Holy shit!
- Who the fuck are them?
Did you see them?
Did you see the people?
There's these people and
they've been trying to hurt us.
- Okay, okay, you okay?
I see you, okay?
- We have to go, we have to go.
We have to go right now,
we have to go right now.
Cody, let's go.
Cody, let's go!
Come, come on, come on.
- No.
- Yes, yes, we're going.
- No, no.
- Come on.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No!
Wait, no, no, no, stop!
- We have to go.
- Stop!
It's like they're one step ahead
of us!
You know it.
They knew.
- Let's go.
- They orchestrated everything.
It's like they knew.
- It's okay.
- What's she talking about?
- They knew.
- I don't know.
- They knew.
- Cody.
- Look.
- I don't see anything.
- They're filming us.
- Those sick fucks, why?
- Oh, he's back.
- What?
- He's back for us.
- Cody, who's back?
What is it?
What is it?
- Ha, Binny it's him.
- Who?
- He came back for us.
It's Dad, he's back.
He knew, he knows that we're
friends
and he can't handle it, and
he's gonna come back for me.
- Cody, stop!
- He's always been back for me.
And he could never leave me.
- Shut up!
You need to pull yourself
together, okay?
'Cause we're gonna get outta
this.
We're gonna get outta this.
- No, we're not.
We're never getting outta this.
- Okay, okay, if they're filming
us
then they're listening to us.
So.
What do we do?
- We do something unexpected.
Come on, come on, over here,
come on.
Let's go!
- Go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Robin, wait, wait!
- Gah, fuck, ah, get it
off!
Get it off!
- Hold still, I'm trying!
- Can you walk?
Take the camera.
- Okay.
- And I'll help, I'll
help Max.
Okay, come on, come
on, you have to get up.
- All right, all right,
okay.
- I'm gonna turn
the camera off, okay?
- No, no, no, no, no, there
could be more of those things!
- Okay, we'll,
just cover the light
and we'll use it sparingly,
okay?
Here.
It wastes battery to turn it off
and on.
- Okay.
Okay, all right.
I just need to, I need to
wrap my head around this one.
What exactly happened--
- I don't know they--
- They what?
- They showed up.
- They showed up doing
what?
Why didn't you call the cops?
- We tried, but they
turned
our fucking phones off, Max.
- There's just a lot of
things you could've done here
and I'm just not sure you did
everything.
I just need some answers!
- It's not really the
time, okay?
- Okay, no, but I need
to know what's going on, okay?
No more secrets, no more
excuses!
- He'll hear us.
- Who is going to hear us?
Your dead father?
Why would she say that, Robin?
What does that have to do
with...
With any of this?
- You didn't tell him.
- Tell me what?
- Cody.
- What was that?
What was that script?
- Cody, it's, it's, it's how I
feel.
It just might, not have happened
that way.
- And so that's
what that moment was.
Just script fodder.
Something to make your
character more complicated!
- Cody, please.
- You are disgusting.
- Don't use that word.
Cody, run!
- Oh, fuck!
- Slow it down.
- Oh, faster, faster, faster.
The sun's coming up soon so.
God knows how long I've been out
here.
I just wanted to say something
to...
You.
People are gonna know what
happened here.
You thought you planned it so
perfectly,
but you made a mistake.
You left an opening for me.
- Happy New
Year!
I'm just so blooming excited.
- Ah, the day, I
fell in love with directing.
- I'm not sure that it's
working.
- Mm-hmm, it must
be in the movie, I love it.
- Yeah, it's confusing.
I just...
I just feel like the
audience's expectations
are that this will come back
later.
It isn't clear that it's
your first experience
with a camera.
And you can't lose your
audience at the beginning
then you're fucked.
- Remember your push back
with the cheetah footage.
Work with me on this.
I don't wanna have another
fight.
- Yeah.
- Is this hard?
- To edit?
- No.
To watch your friends die?
Robin.
- Yes.
- I asked is it hard
to watch your friends die?
- Uh, no, not any more.
I've gotten numb to it.
Also, I'm, I'm excited.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I couldn't tell.
- No, I am.
I think it's gonna be very good.
Excellent.
A work of art.
- I'll buy that for a
dollar.
- Should I make dinner soon?
- That would be
wonderful.
- Okay.
- I love the exposed wood in the
ceilings.
There's a stray bulb on set.
Can you remove it for picture?
I think we're ready.
I love the symmetry of
your composition, Doogie.
Very well done today.
You've earned this.
Be a free man now.
First marks, Doogie.
- Can I say something
to them first, please?
- That would depend
on what you're going to say?
- Just good things.
Only good things.
- Fine.
- Robin.
Do everything they say--
- That's enough!
Little to your right.
A little smidge back to your
left.
Perfect.
If you please.
- We're all crazy.
- Help, someone!
- That's not gonna
help.
- Show me your face, you fucking
coward.
- Funny coming from you.
I'll show you right now.
- Who are you?
- I think you can do a better
question?
- Why...
Why, why are you doing this to
us?
- Ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, we have a winner!
Here's your answer.
To whom it may concern,
I know pain, I've watched
it, I studied it, lived it.
I grew up around it in our
house.
A thick cloud of agony
cuddled in the corner
of every room.
A stark reminder of our
transgressions.
- Please, please, please don't.
Please.
- One minute a person screams
to cope with it, the
next, they laugh to rob it
of it's power.
Some, wear their pain
like a badge of honor.
Others tuck it away,
hoping no one will ever see
how weak they really are,
but they can't escape it.
Pain is as authentic to the
human experience as love.
I see it in my husband
struggling to connect with me.
Pardon me, Doug.
Every conversation slyly
circling the same question
over and over again.
Why don't I understand you?
Not knowing that if he ever
actually asked that question
he'd break the unspoken promise
we've kept all these years.
A promise, he'll never ask.
There are only two constant
truths
that I've been able to parse out
through all my observations of
pain.
This is the part that
really I identified with.
Cody, you know where I'm going.
You read it, right?
This is why I chose you.
First, you can't get past it
without
looking it dead in the eye.
Those hard questions need to be
asked.
Those hard answers need to be
faced.
I know this because I've seen my
sister
ignore the pain she's
held her entire life.
Through seeing her own struggle
I've also realized I've done the
same.
Mm, mm, mm, I think you'll
like this part, Cody.
I faulted and failed in
many parts of my life.
I've been selfish, negligent,
uncaring.
I'm not the person I dreamt
I would become as a child.
Da, da, da, da, da.
Repeating myself over and
over, "you'll be brave,
"you'll be smart, you'll be
honest,"
but today is the first day I
start keeping that promise.
My sister deserves a better
sister.
She's been brave.
She's been smart.
But she hasn't been honest,
not with what happened,
which is why I need this
opportunity
to film in your beautiful home.
To show my sister and
the world an awful...
but honest truth.
An axiom once seen will
dispense...
the second constant
I've known all these years,
pain...
can be beautiful.
Sincerely,
Robin.
Gets me every time.
- I...
I don't know.
Why?
Why?
- It's okay.
- Please.
- Smile.
- What?
- Smile.
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
- Please.
Please, don't, don't kill us.
Please.
- Kill you?
What?
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't think that, you poor
thing.
Give me your eyes.
We don't wanna kill you.
You have everything we need.
It's all in the essay.
There you go.
Beautiful.
Now, we'll collaborate.
Show the world how beautiful
pain can be.
So smile.
Smile.
And... scene!
Treetops all the day long
Rocking and a-bopping
and a-singing this song
All the little birds on
Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin
go tweet, tweet, tweet
Rockin' Robin
Tweet, tweet, tweet
Rockin'
- Dinner time.
Robin finished her first cut of
the film.
- Can't I just watch one more
episode?
- Uh uh.
Up!
Up!
- Cody.
- Hey.
- How are you?
How's everything?
Your hair is getting really
long.
What's wrong with her?
- That's enough.
It's how she's coping.
Dinner, it smells wonderful.
Oh, I watched the first cut.
I was noticing, it actually
seems like your husband
was behind it all.
- Did it?
Oh, I'll fix that.
- No, I quite like it.
Maybe in the next version
you could lean into that.
Especially when, Cody
thinks her father's back.
- Yeah.
- It might
add a touch of mystery.
Could be nice to play with the
trope
of who's behind the mask?
Challenge the audience's
expectations a little bit.
- Won't it be disappointing to
find out
it isn't anybody we know?
- Actually, quite the
opposite.
I think it's a little poetic.
Considering everything that
you and Cody went through
with your father.
Someone you thought you knew
turned out to be a stranger.
No, this is good.
Audiences like metaphors.
- Yeah, I think that might be
really nice.
- It's really
coming along, Robin.
The film looks great.
You're so close to executing my
vision.
You know what would be really
nice?
If we got a family shot.
Since we're so rarely in
the same room together.
You smell nice.
How you doing, kiddo?
Ahh..
Ah.
Well.
Let's eat.
It's delicious.
Look who's here, look who's
here
There's a boy I'm mad about
Oh my dear, when he's near
I just feel like passin' out
So big and strong, so full of
youth
Oh Momma, oh Poppa, tell me
the truth
Ain't he sweet
See him comin' down the street
Now I ask you very
confidentially
Ain't he sweet, huh
Ain't he nice
Look him over once or twice
Now I ask you very
confidentially, ain't he nice
Just cast an eye in his
direction
Oh me, oh my, ain't that
perfection
I repeat, don't you
think he's kind of neat
And I ask you very
confidentially, ain't he sweet
What a man, I'll say
how he can, hey, hey
Look him up and down
There's the handsomest man in
town
What a smile he got
Get that style, it's hot
Me for him, no joke
I could love him if he was
broke