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This Is Your Death (2017)
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Welcome back. We are broadcasting live from Seattle to give you the moment you've been waiting for all summer long. Two contestants remain, but only one will be. Married to a Millionaire. Well, it was just a couple of months ago that I asked your ten suitors one question. How far would you go for the one you love? Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? Brandi or Jessica? Jessica, we're just not made for each other. I've decided to go with Brandi! Brandi! It's Brandi! I am the happiest man alive. And I'm the luckiest girl. We'll take you down to the church, where both of your families are waiting for you. Come on. No, no, no, no! You slut! What'd you do? Suck his small dick? No, hey! - Move! - I'm not gonna do that! Put the gun down. Put it down! Oh, my God! Somebody get over here! ...not sure what happened there. We will, of course, let you know as soon as we find out. Alex Jones here, reporting on the tragic shooting death live on television. - Tragic news. BC's Married - to a Millionaire. - Two are reported dead... - ...gunned down in front... ...Adam Rogers dove on top to shield, an act of heroism... ...host Adam Rogers displayed unbelievable bravery... I'm remorseful, she was sick. Yeah, can you say it like you mean it, please? I'm sorry. I'm remorseful, she was sick. - Nobody knew it. - Good. You're a hero. - All right. - You'll be fine. Please welcome Adam Rogers. Take your hands out of your pockets! How does it feel to be a national hero? Oh, uh... no, I... I'm no hero, I was just... I was just doing what anybody would have done under those circumstances. Well, most people would have ducked. Now, what was going through your mind when you first heard the gunshots? Honestly? Yes, honestly. We're all about honesty on Morning Show USA. Honestly, I was thinking about... my job, and what a giant mess this was gonna cause our network. Here I was, lying next to a man that had just been murdered and all I could think about was myself. It was not your fault. Actually, it was my fault. And... it was your fault, and it was our network's fault, and it was the millions of people who tune in each week's fault. ...bring us to top five Tuesdays through Fridays. I know you want to see the numbers for your ads, so-- There's a problem. Excuse me for a moment. Rogers is going rogue. Director wants permission to pull the plug. We're sitting here celebrating me... trying to cover the fact that we pitted two women against each other like a couple of fucking dogs. Uh, right. What happened on my show, that was not an accident. That was... that was inevitable. Okay, my little man. Shh, quiet! There it is, a desperate rage festering in this country and we're too afraid to show it to you. Instead we numb ourselves with our stupid fucking morning shows and soap operas and reality shows. - It's disgusting. - Holy crap. Isn't that your brother? I'm going to have to stop you now, ok? That was-- I was told to come out here and say that Jessica was sick... Yes. - And that it was just a game, but I can't do that. Jessica was not sick. She was a beautiful human being under an incredible amount of pressure and personal debt and we played with her heart for our own financial gain. Okay, Adam, you know what? That was great-- - Let it play out. - I have to stop you now, okay? And I'm glad that people saw that. That is the most reality reality TV has ever shown and I hope that we show more of it. Well, I guess you're in the minority there. - We should show more of that. - Okay, are we-- are we still live? All right, we'll be right back after these messages with America's cutest puppies. Thank you. - What the fuck, man? - I'm sorry. - What he fuck are you doing? - It was nice to meet you. - Hey. - Hey. I am so fucking fired. Good. You're too good for that job. You should go back to school. I'll help you study. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. You got me back on my feet, I'll get you back on your feet. Yeah, I don't think so. What the hell did I do? What did I do? You know what you did? You told the truth, Adam. I haven't seen that guy in a long time. I am proud of you. Mom and dad would have been proud of you, too. Yeah, I bet mom and dad would have been real proud. A TV hack and a recovering pill-head. It's Nurse Pill-Head to you. - I'm going back to the hospital. - I'm sorry. - It's okay, it's okay. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hey. - How're you doing? - I'm good. Good. Let me grab your... What? No. No, no, no. - Adam, that's not what I'm here for. - We had a deal. You pay off your debt and I pay your expenses. - Hold on. - No. Nope, not cool. Hey, a deal's a deal. Come here, come here, come here. Take it. Thank you. - You're welcome. - I love you. I love you, too, honey. You're okay. Say it again. You're okay, Adam Rogers. All right. Hey, this is Adam. Leave a message please. Ilana Katzenberg here. Nice rant this morning. Be at the network office tomorrow, 9am sharp-- It seems like we're working the same hours, Miss Katzenberg. Yeah, except I start at 8:30 again. Shoot. Yeah, me too. What's your name again? Um, Mason. Mason Washington, ma'am. - Two jobs. - Yeah. And looking for a third. You aren't hiring an appliance salesman by any chance, are you? No. I was number one in the South Bay, 15 years over. "House to fill? Just call Bill at--." You worked at Angel City Appliance! - You know it? - I bought my fridge and stove there. I was there for three decades. Then online shopping came along, and then the recession, and now it seems that nobody wants to hire a 55-year-old with insufferable charm. I don't know why. Uh, I should get back to work. Do you watch television, Mason? Me? Oh, uh... no, not much, honestly. How about Married to a Millionaire? No, ma'am. But my son did show me the video on Morning USA. Oh, so you know what happened? - Yeah. - So what do you think? You can't fire me, can you? Probably. But I won't. I think he was speaking the truth. You don't see too much of that lately. I agree. Jerry. Jerry, please. Look. Look. I know we talked about this, but I'm four hours away from being full-time. I can do the hours anywhere you want. West end, downtown, Valley, Orange County, I don't care. You know how badly my family needs the health benefits. I'm sorry, but I've got no more hours to give. All right? We're stretched thin. We can't be stretched that thin. All right. G'night. Shit. How about this Adam Rogers? What a story, I tell you-- Daddy! 'Morning, angel. Did you get a good night's sleep? Did you eat your breakfast? Did you brush your teeth? Oooh... Uh-uh, you fibber! Hey, go brush your teeth. Daddy will drive you to school. Hey, watch yourself, you little twerp. Derrick called me a twerp! Yeah, I heard him. He'll apologize. 'Morning, slugger. Who were those suits at the door? Derrick, grab your breakfast. Your dad will drive you to school. What happened on your show this week was disastrous. But-- but, from a legal standpoint, surprisingly neither the network nor the producers could be held liable. Yeah, I know. But here's the thing. When it comes to the murder, the FCC allows live broadcasts to air unforeseen criminal content as long as it wasn't planned, there was security in place, and every effort was made to kill the feed. All of which we can prove. When it comes to the suicide, that's where it gets a little interesting. - Oh, I'm sorry. - I must have the wrong-- - Sit, Sylvia. Everyone, this is Sylvia Rowland, three-time Emmy-winning producer of our live broadcast of Snow White, Peter Pan and The Wizard. Sylvia, everyone. Continue. As I was saying, when it comes to Jessica's suicide, a case could be made that no one tried to stop her from killing herself. A small one, I know, but a case nonetheless. But unlike murder, suicide is not a felony in the United States. So therefore, if we can prove that no one did anything to aid or abet her in her actions, we are off the hook. I, uh-- I have a question, Bernie. Forget the murder for a second. What if we hypothetically knew Jessica was gonna commit suicide on air? Well, hypothetically, if we knew she was gonna kill herself and no one did anything to aid or abet her-- You mean by handing her the gun? Yeah, correct. Unless, of course, there was a physician on hand doing it. Well, yes. Suicide law is a state-by-state issue. I mean, in California the End of Life Option Act allows physicians to supervise people who are deemed mentally sound to take their own lives. At first it was just for the terminally ill, - but... - But? But there was a constitutional challenge this year. Proposition 426. Now all you have to be is mentally sound and you can kill yourself any way you deem fit. So, theoretically, if we had a show on air where people committed suicide, and we had a doctor, let's say a psychiatrist, on hand, we wouldn't be breaking the law. Are you actually being serious right now? All right, I'm sorry, but can I ask why I'm here? Ilana, are we talking theoretics here or actual? Because if we're talking actual, as your legal counsel I strongly advise you against pursuing this. I mean, the FCC will have a field day! Not if you put it on after 10 o'clock, right? Jesus Christ. I thought I was coming here to get fired today. Yeah, and I thought I was coming here to pitch a show. Everyone, go. Adam, Sylvia, stay. Thank you, Bernie. All right, let's go. All right, I'm sorry, but you can't be serious. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Adam, you caused quite a stir in this country. Your heroics combined with your oratorical prowess made us the number one network for the first time in two decades. As president of network programming, it's my job to make sure you aren't a flash in the pan. By watching people kill themselves on national TV? - Are you out of your mind? - Thank you! And Sylvia, you are the best live producer in the world. We are fortunate enough to contractually have you for one more show. Yes, a live theatrical show. Not a live death porn show. Well, actually your contract defines "show" as single or event series. This qualifies as an event series. Oh, I'm sorry, but... Fuck you, and fuck this. You're under contract, Sylvia. What are you doing? Don't worry about her, she'll come around. The question is: Will you? You're too good for this network, Adam, I know. We're in the shmattah business and you're done with that. I also realize that on the surface this sounds like a-- Like a gimmick. But I want you to know that everything you said yesterday was true. People are angry. They're fed up. They wanna see something real. So, let's show them something real. I just watched two people die in front of me. I prefer not to see any more of that. Have a nice day. How'd the interview go? Extraordinary. They hired a 20-year-old. Oh, Mason. Oh, you know, it's all right. I mean, it wasn't meant for me anyway. Those men that came to the house. They're from the bank. You told me we were a bit behind on the mortgage, but you didn't tell me we were five months behind. They can come and take our house any time they want, you know that, right? - Rebecca-- - And it's not just them. Collectors been calling every day, Mason. - So don't pick up. - I'm not pickin' up! Look, what do you want me to say? I'm paying the water bills, I'm paying the electric bills, I'm payin' for gas, I'm payin' for insurance, I'm trying to pay for Derrick's medical, and I'm payin' for groceries. Are you done? 'Cause I gotta go to work to help pay for everything else. The clothing, the books, the birthday presents. We worked so hard to get our kids into a good neighborhood with a good school district. I am not gonna let that be taken away from them. ...more than Indiana, the condition of compuls-- ...go back to France, because 99 percent of the country hates you! ...accept that, that's fine. I think it's stupid what you're saying. So what I'm gonna do is I'm going to accept it. But FOX News has been right! Yeah, I just didn't think people wanted a dialogue. No, no, no. That's fine, right? I mean, am I right? Are we at the presidential level, or is he punching down? Welcome to the season premiere of Married to a Millionaire. My name is Adam Rogers and we have just met our wealthy man. Why don't we meet our suitors? Hi, what's your name? Hi, I'm Jessica, I'm a dental hygienist. I love writing, swimming, and romantic dinners. - Okay. And your name? - Hi, I'm Brandi, I'm a physiotherapist. I like traveling, surfing, and hot dogs. Okay. Hot dogs. I like hot dogs. - Only vegan. - Okay. Brandi, Jessica, do you feel like you're marriage material for John? - Hell yeah! - Fuck. Brandi! Move! How are you? Uh, she can't see you right now. Uh, look. She's-- Hey. Cut me a break, man. - I can't let you in there-- - Just give me a second. I'm telling you, you can't-- I'm done exploiting people for the sake of ratings, and I am done being the mouthpiece for garbage. Excuse me? Ilana, what's going on over there? I'm on a call with our entire board of directors. Can this wait? I don't wanna do a show that affirms death. We gotta do better than that. I wanna do a show that affirms life, that challenges people, that stands for something. Okay. But people will die if we go ahead with this, you know. Yeah, I know. But I don't want them dying in vain. Now if... if I do this show, and if people are actually going to die, I want them to die for a good reason, a higher purpose. I want this show to teach people how to live, to appreciate what we've got, to foster empathy. And it's not gonna be about fame or money, and we are not gonna be bribing guests to come on. They will come of their own volition. And if that doesn't work? Everybody has a story, they just... they just want to be heard. What do you want? I want a say in set design and show structure, and I want complete control of the message-- - Adam-- - It's non-negotiable. You're using me. And I want to be perfectly clear that I'm gonna be using you, too. You need ratings. I need a platform. This is not gonna be a circus act, Ilana. This is gonna be shocking. And real. And it'll probably get us both fired. Sounds good to me. Okay. Let's move these LED walls downstage and put in the stairs, and bring the five-line up in the service. And hey, let's-- let's bring these seats all the way... all the way up to here. I wanna feel the audience right on top of the stage. Where will the cameras go? I'm gonna need at least ten feet for three operators and a jib arm. Plus do you think they're gonna let someone walk on stage with a gun, no barrier to the audience? No. You're gonna need a bullet-proof partition built around the stage and I want separate entrances from the parking lot, so no one behind that wall can get into the audience. Who is in charge here? You or him? I am. I am. It's not about death, but it is about ratings. The idea here is to have people wake up. He looks like a serial killer. Do we need serial killer? Well, he can serial kill himself. We're making this network relevant. You cannot forget. Can we order some pizza, please? This is where I wanna start, what's next... nope. And we're gonna need to work on these screens here, right? What are we doing here? - What are we doing here? - Mm-hmm. Uh... we're making a show. You know what I mean. We're giving television the kick in the ass that it needs. That's what we're doing here. We're challenging people to get up and stand for something. And what is that? Death? No. No, Sylvia. Life. It's not just a show about death. You do know that no one at the network - gives a shit about your message, right? - Yeah. They just want shock and awe and blood and pyrotechnics. Yeah, I know. I know, but I think that we can create a scenario where everybody wins. God, I want to believe you. You know, for a reality show veteran, you are impressively naive. Yeah? Well, for a woman who tells fairytales for a living, your lack of imagination is quite sad. Knock 'em dead, kiddo. Really? Let's have a good show, everybody. Stand by VTU. On in five, four, three... Cue graphics and music. Cue camera one. Live from Los Angeles, This Is Your Death! And now, your host, Adam Rogers! Ladies and gentlemen... What you're about to see tonight is unlike anything you've seen on television before. But let me be clear about one thing straight off the top. This is not a stunt, this is not a joke- He's off script. Hold the prompter. This is not a prank. And this will probably shock you, and that's okay. Because on this show we're all about transparency. Now, despite what most networks want you to believe, your television is not there to coddle you, nor is it there to provide mindless escapism. - What is going on? - He's ad-libbing, is what's going on. - Is this a surprise? - All right, get me in his ear. Adam, get on script. It's a liability issue and we signed off on the warning. Long before the Internet... - Okay, he's moving. Let's follow him. - Your TV... - Son of a bitch. - Was invented to connect us, to bring us together, to create a shared communal experience, and now... now all it does is lie to you. But we're about to change that tonight. Cue audience applause. I could explain to you what's gonna happen next, but it's... it's probably best just to show you. Introducing our first guest ever... - This is Sara Hickey. - Cue VCR. From Hope Township, New Jersey. Have a look. Stage lights. I married Bill when I was very young. He was sweet and charming, told funny jokes. He reminded me of my father. Which was probably a bad thing. It wasn't long before Bill became violent towards me. But things got much worse... when Bill began molesting Emily... our daughter. I tried leaving him, trust me. It's impossible when there's no money for a new life. But I'll know that I made an effort to rescue my little girl. How will your suicide rescue her? You'll see. Cue applause. Ladies and gentlemen. After tonight, Sara Hickey ill never have a chance at a new life. But her daughter could. With your aid. If you'd like to donate money to Emily Hickey, please text the number that will soon appear on your screen. Number? We don't-- we don't have a number. We never discussed this. Relax, we got a text system set up for our talent shows. Call the networks. - Tell them to turn on premium. - Copy that. All proceeds will be matched by the WBC network up to $100,000. Fuck off! That's not true! It is now. Ladies and gentlemen, let's show Sara Hickey that her sacrifice tonight won't be in vain. - Cue on one. - Yes, sir. House lights fade. Yeah. What if she chickens out? We play as a redemption story, okay? Oh, and by the way, great work on that video. All right, now please let me watch this. It is lights out, my prince. What the fuck? Oh, come on. Keller, play the emotions. - Zack, how much money did we raise so far? - Start on three. $29... no, $30,000. Show me the audience. - Give me a close-up on 2. - $45,000. - Should I play redemptive music? - No. Adam, don't come out yet. Okay, okay. Okay, I'll wait. Emily. I'm doing this for you. I'm sorry. I don't want to rot in jail for the rest of your life. They'll find your dad's body in our garage. Oh! She did it. Good girl. Pull out! Jesus Christ, pull out! Flicker the lights. Thank you for watching This Is Your Death. Life is precious. Make the most of it. See you next week. And... cut to commercial. Everyone's phones still off? Yeah. Congratulations. You just cost the network $100,000. We raised $100,000? $200,000 actually. But we only had to match up to $100,000. Wait, wait, wait. So we just gave that girl $300,000? - Yes. - Wow! That's good! Is this show now about money? No, this is a show about giving girls like that a future. By killing her mother. Sara died of her own volition after consulting a trained psychiatrist and physician, and, because of it, she bettered the life of her daughter. That's right. By killing herself. No, by showing people that not everybody on TV is rich and pretty and living the American dream. By killing herself. Yes, Sylvia, by killing herself. Look, not everything in this world deserves a happy ending. Sophocles knew this. Euripides knew this. Shakespeare knew this. Milton, Beckett... What-- what're you doing? Looking to see if you secretly have Wikipedia open on your phone. Uh, shots anyone? - Yes. - Yeah. Hey, good news. I found you more hours. Really? Thank you. - Hey, I appreciate it. - Yeah, no problem. It's three hours a night in Riverside. It starts at 2:30am. Woah, Jerry, wait. 2:30? I-I finish here at 2:00. I can't make it from Century City to Riverside in 30 minutes. It takes 75 minutes, no traffic. Sorry, man. Take it or leave it. No, no-- Woah, woah, woah. Jerry, if I take it and I'm late, you're gonna fire me. Hey, look. I'll tell you what. Why don't I get there at 3:00 and I go till 6:00? I'll speed as fast as I can. No. No can do. It's a finance office. They come into work at 5:30. Well, I'm sorry, then. I can't take it. Well, I, too, am sorry. QMB Janitorial Corporation will no longer need your services. We'll send you your final two paychecks by mail. Wait-- no, no-- Come on, Jerry! Look, come on, I'm never late, I work harder than everyone else! Why are you settin' me up? Is this about the benefits? Look-- look, forget I even asked. Look, I don't care about the benefits. Forget it. Jerry? Jerry! Jerry! What you're doing is barbaric. I thought you stood for something. Thank you. I appreciate your... input. Asshole. Oh, no. Did you turn on your phone? Uh, no. No, I'm, uh... I'm good. Uh, why don't we get outta here? Ah, yeah. I'm not like that, okay? I'll drop you off. That's okay, I can get my own Uber. Thank you. We can Uber together. Let's Uber pool. It's cheap, and we may not have jobs tomorrow, so... You know nothing about me. That's not true! I know you're from Cleveland. Oh. And I know you're an only child. And I know that you would rather be living in New York, but Broadway is your ex-husband's domain, so here you are, slumming it on TV. Well, my, uh, my panties are sopping wet. I'm not finished. I know that you eat too much kale for your own good, and I know that you think that real men don't drink white wine, but I don't really give a shit because I love it. And I also know that, like me... you just want to make something meaningful and lasting in this screwed up, swipe right, shit-for-brains world we live in. How am I doing? You might just be the smartest idiot that I've ever met. - Really? - Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I did go to Yale for two years. - Did you? - Yeah. Why did you drop out? - Wouldn't you like to know? - Mm-hmm. Let's go. This is not a yes. I never said it was a yes. O... kay. Excuse me, sir. Uh, the dishwasher you've got, the old guy? He's a real dick. Him. A new show aired on the WBC network last night. The incredible thing is the show seemingly came out of nowhere. No press, no advertising, nada. Now, if it turns out to be real, WBC is gonna have a lot to answer for. Just take a look at our Facebook page. People are enraged. I'm taking callers. First up, Ne-- Holy shit. Okay, okay! Hey, hey, hey! Karina, what the f- Now I know why you've been hiding from me. Uh, can we talk about this later, please? You told me that you were getting out. I did get out. This is not a reality show. No shit, it's worse. - Can we-- can we-- seriously. - No, no, no, no. Everybody at work knows that I'm your sister. I don't-- you-- you can't fucking do this to me! - What? I'm not-- this is not about you. - Are you kidding me? Adam, have you got my phone? Oh, I'm... sorry. Hey. Uh, uh, Sylvia, this is my sister, Karina. Karina, Sylvia. Hi. Hi. Girlfriend? - Yeah. - No. No, no. I am his producer and this was a drunken decision. Come on. Transparency, right? Sylvia, I don't like your show. Oh, neither do I. Trust me. Okay. I like her, Adam. Don't fuck it up. Thanks for your input. Shut up. Our country has never been more politically or socially fractured. People watch and read the news they agree with. There's no dissenting opinion anymore. There's no honest debate. It's just theatrics. This whole show is theatrics. Wait a second. Are you talking about our show or theirs? Hi, daddy. How was work? It was fantastic. How was your sleep? They cut our cable and internet last night. I see. Well, more time to read, hit the books and study, right? Dad, is everything o-- Hey, you got any tests today? - History. - Are you ready? Of course, but can we-- Who was the 16th president of the United States? Abe Lincoln, but-- And who was the 17th? I don't know. My test is on the Civil War. So what? The future president's gotta know all his predecessors, right? I guess so. ...salacious, and downright unconscionable. Not only should it be taken off the air, the creator should be jailed! Oh, come on now. It's provocative, yes, but what if we take Adam Rogers seriously for a moment? What if he's right? What if this show is exactly what we need-- All right, little man. I'm gonna prep you for surgery. Last check-up before I go. How are you feeling? You still nauseous? I'm fine, but the news has been crapping all over your brother this morning. I don't want you watching that garbage. You're too young. Please. I'm as mature as you. Funny man, huh? You're not gonna worry, right? Routine procedure. That's what they always say. - You're gonna be just fine. - That too. But my favorite one is "you're so strong". It's the water commission. They call at 9:00, right after the cable company, who won't be calling no more 'cause it's shut down. I lost my job. Which one? Both of them. Dare I ask why? Does it matter? Okay. Okay, I can pick up the slack. I'll try to get some more hours at the hotel and I'll join Mary Kay. - I can sew-- - Rebecca. I can sell Tupperware, I can sell vitamins-- - Rebecca, I'm not giving up. - I know. But I don't think you understand what I'm saying. You lose this house and you lose us. Hello, this is Mason Washington. The money's coming. I appreciate your patience. Thank you. We quintupled our audience twice over from beginning to end, and that's not even counting plus three and plus five. - Does this mean that we're number-- - Number three. Behind NBC and CBS, but still. With no press, no promotion? Not bad. We're gonna be number one next week. That's a ten million viewer jump. Yeah, I understand ratings share. - Holy shit. - All right, hot shot. Here's my concern. People are going to tire of giving contestants pity money. Okay, first of all, they're not contestants, - and it's not pity money. - Oh, you know what I mean. We are giving our audience the power to enact change, to empathize with the people they relate to. It's not gonna get too old, too fast. Oh, yeah, it will. Trust me. You created an event. We need a show. We'll just bring more people on each week. - We'll pick up the pace. - Done. But that doesn't address my main concern. Which is what? You need this audience as much as I do, Adam. I'll keep them invested. Last week an American ended her life right in front of you on national television. It was shocking. Some say it was appalling... but it was real. We changed a young girl's life for the better. Now, if you don't like what we're doing here, please, change the channel. Close your browser, file a complaint, or simply turn it off. Will this fellow ever follow the script? But I'm willing to bet that you won't. Because, deep down, you know that what we're doing here is important. You're angry. You want change. You believe in the value of life. Well, guess what? So do I. And so do our three guests tonight. Cue applause. It seems my producers want me to get on with the show. Cue applause. Friends... last week you also changed a young girl's life. $300,000 was raised for Emily Hickey. $300,000! Over 100 of you even called in offering to be her foster parent. And because of you, and you, and you, and you... Emily will find a safe home. She'll go to college, she'll get a degree and fulfill her mother's dreams. You have all lead by example, and the WBC network heard you loud and clear. So from here on in... we will be donating $250,000 to the guest that you believe deserves it the most. All you have to do is vote. We go from one death to three, and now we're doing death of the week? Was this your idea? He's flying solo, but I like it. I just have to convince our board of directors to play along. He's gonna get himself fired. Yeah, or make himself indispensable. All right, put me in his ear. Adam, you crazy son of a bitch. We're a go. Please welcome Adam Rogers! Let's get started. Introducing Timothy Reyes. Timothy was diagnosed with ALS and has come to share his last moments with us. Please welcome Ellen Black. Ellen wants to donate her potential winnings to aid Syrian refugees. This is David Williams. David's wife needs a heart transplant. With no donors in sight, he's giving his own. Do it already! Ah! Don't you think it's horrible? - I do. - So why do you do it? Because I saw somebody die, murdered, right in front of me, not too long ago. It was a senseless waste of life, but the deaths on my show are not. The number one show in the United States of America. But you're profiting off of other people's misery. Isn't everybody profiting off of other people's misery, Mark? The churches profit, the banks profit, the fast food companies profit. Journalists just like you profit. Don't think that you're above this, because you're not. Besides, I'm not doing this for the money. What are you doing it for then? I'm doing it because television needs a wake-up call, that's why. We're in pain. We're alone. We need to connect again. We need to bridge the social, racial and political divide, and I think-- Actually, I believe that we are the catalyst for that change. Adam Rogers for president! I can almost guarantee you number one all across the world. What do you guys say? Oh, I love to hear it. I love to hear it. Thank you so much. Try one with a smile. When will it be enough? That's a good question. I don't know. When people stop watching, I guess. When they don't need us anymore. But right now they do. Oh! This Is Your Death! This Is Your Death! This Is Your Death! This Is Your Death! This Is Your Death! Sylvia. I owe you a drink. Look, we're a team and I feel like... I-I guess I feel like I could be keeping you in the loop more than I have been. And a drink is gonna solve that? No, but four might. All right. Good night. Hey. You can hate me, you can hate what we're doing here, but you can't deny that we're a good team. - We're not a team. - Yes, we are! No! No, come on. You just do whatever you want and I clean up your messes. Right. One of these days I will stop, though. We have the number one show on television. I made you rich. I mean, what else do you want? What else do you want? I want a drink. Maybe a sleepover. Good night, Adam. I'll take you up on that drink. - You Washington? - Yeah. - You the foreman? - Yep. It's nice to see you. I've got you my rsum. Oh, uh, you think about dyin'? Excuse me? Oh yeah, that. Yeah, that's the truth. You gotta see it. Anyhow, this is a union job. How do you have so much experience with no union card? Oh, well, I was, uh... a temp filler over in Chicago, and it kinda, you know, basically turned into a full-time job. Fuckin' Chicago. Yeah, well, you got that right. Well, we're looking to fill the 8:00 to 6:00 spot. That's pm to am. You'll need to join the longshoremen's union, too, so there'll be some upfront costs there, as well. Hey, no problem. I get benefits, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. It happens all the time. Look. Now I'm gonna need to see your forklift certification for ocean. Is there a problem? Listen, I need this job bad. Now, I can do anything your guys can do, I just don't have any forklift experience, but I'm a quick study. - Trust me. - Can you lash a ship? - Of course. - What's lashing, then? I'm sorry, Mr. Washington. We don't have the time or resources to be training greenhorns right now, especially someone as old as you. Please, sir. Look, I got a family, I got two kids, I got a house I'm about to lose. I'll do anything you ask. Brunt labor, overtime, janitorial. You wanna go clean toilets? Go talk to the port. Wait, no, no, wait, wait, wait! Hold on, man. Don't-- don't turn your back on me. Look, I'm out of options! Get out of my way, son! You usually call your elders "son"? Go fuck yourself! Aaargh! Time to call the janitor, boss! - Jesus. - Move forward. Right there. Ah... - Holy shit. - Yeah. Yeah, right? Look at this. My favorite part. Come here, come here, come here. See that casita back there? Two bedrooms, full kitchen, and it's got your name on it. I can't afford that. You really think I'm gonna make you pay rent? You can stay there for free as long as you want. Okay? All you gotta do is, you know, save up for your own place. Adam, I got six-figure credit card debt to pay off before I can even think about buying a house. Right, right, right. - Right? - That reminds me. Come on. I'm not making you rich, I'm just putting you back to zero. No. Adam, I can't. I-I haven't seen you in three months, you know you're my only friend. I-I know, I know. And I'm sorry. I've just been... I've been really busy. Would you look at yourself? Would you look at this house? - This is sick. - Yeah. Yeah, you mean sick like cool? - Because... - No. - Because I agree. - No, Adam, I'm not joking, and I do not want your blood money. You're my sister and I love you, and you've been doing so well and I promised that I was gonna take care of you. - At what cost, Adam? - What do you mean, at what cost? How many people had to die for this house? For that check? Ten? 30? 50? Oh, Jesus Christ. Don't be ridiculous. Is death ridiculous to you now? - No, it isn't-- - Do you know what I do? No, it's not ridiculous, and if you watched my show, you'd know that I take my job very seriously. By showing death, I am single-handedly changing people's approach to life. The world's finally waking up. You are a fucking game show host, Adam! And that is all! Wake up! And now, your host, Adam Rogers! Thank you. So I had an interesting and sobering conversation with my sister today, and in the name of transparency, I thought I would share it with you. Oh, no. She thinks that what we're doing here is abominable. No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. - Camera one. - Dissenting opinion is okay. Camera three. But what really got me was when she called it a game show, as if-- Yeah, yeah, as if all that was at stake here is the money. Cut to one. Yeah, I know. It hurt me, too. It was ignorant. And insensitive. Not to me, but to the folks who have literally given their lives for a higher cause. And the fact that it came from my own sister, the only family member that I have left in this world. I guess that just made it hurt even worse. We'll be back after these messages with more This Is Your Death. - What? - Hi, Karina? It's Sylvia. He really doesn't mean what he's saying. How did you get my number? You're Adam's emergency contact. - Fuck him. - I'm sorry I'm calling you, but I-- - Fuck you. - I agree. Fuck both of us. Just please, please don't blame yourself. Uh, Adam told me a little bit about your history and... I really don't mean to pry but I think it might be a good idea to call someone. I don't need a fucking therapist right now. I need to relax. What happened to my brother?!! I don't know. I really don't know. I'm so sorry. On in 25. Listen, I-- I have to keep running this show, but I'm not getting off the phone until you tell me you're gonna be okay. Okay, I'll call. I owe you one. Stay on. In time. On in five, four, three... Standby VTR. Ladies and gentlemen, what are we here to do? To change. - And what are we gonna change? - The world! - I'm sorry, what are we gonna change? - Adam's on here next. - The world! - What're you guys watching? Derrick made an antenna. We got basic cable back. - What're we here to do? - Don't watch this trash. It ain't trash, pops. It's people like us. - Dad! - Mason! Those people are not like us. They're poor and desperate. They're sacrificing themselves for the betterment of their families. Do these four walls look poor and desperate to you? - Mason. - No! Do you know how hard I worked to get you into a good school so you could do things I could never dream of doing? Yeah, dad, I do. And I also know that we're about to lose it all. What? You think I'm dumb? You think I don't hear you and mom arguing every night? I tried talking to you like a million times, and every time you shut me down like I'm a kid. But I'm not. My crutches are six inches too small, but I don't say nothing, 'cause I know that you can't afford to fix it. So you want to deal with this by yourself? Then fucking deal with it, okay? Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our next guest. This is Meg Waters, here to remind us that not all soldiers are ordered to fight the good fight. Not all soldiers are ordered to fight the good fight, huh? That includes us. Yeah, no, I understand metaphor. - You fucking prick. - I'm sorry, was that a metaphor or a simile? It's a statement. Hey, call your sister. She saw what you said and she's having a breakdown. Well, that's not the first time. I'll call her after the show. - Adam-- - After the show, Sylvia. She's why you quit Yale, isn't she? We're losing the audience. They can't see. This is a bad idea. Cue the heartbeats. I-I-- Is she passed out? Can I get the interior car view? Cue camera one. Stand by, car cam 2. Guys, I can't see shit. - Is she dead? - Her heart monitor says no, but it shouldn't be more than two minutes. Put up the facts about the CO2. - Insert CO2 details. - She's not dying! She's not dying! We're losing our audience. Come on, get your shit together out there. This is fucking boring. Kill it. We can't fake a death! Adam, back me up here. We are all about transparency, am I right? We're not faking a death. She can die backstage for all I care. Let her finish backstage. - Adam, I really don't think that's-- - Just do it. Okay, slow down the heartbeat. Slower. Slower. And kill it. Ladies and gentlemen, Meg Waters. Come on, people, Meg Waters. There we go. We'll be back with more This Is Your Death right after this. Whoa, did you see that? She's not dead! Did anyone see that? Damn. Fuck. Excuse me. Hello! Thank you. Yeah. She isn't out yet. Can I get her out? No, no, no. Don't touch it, don't touch it. If we pull her out and she dies, it's on us. - Give me that. Okay. - Yeah. Shit. Okay. Okay, everything's gonna be okay. Jesus Christ! - No, no, no. No! - Let me out, please! The world is a better place because of our show. To heal, we need to see pain, and our cause is too important to be hijacked by a woman who had second thoughts! She chose this! She chose this. Hey. Jesus Christ. Die already. Okay. Just let me handle this. Just let me handle this. Good work. Good work. It's okay! Take care of it. All right, people, we're back in 15 seconds. They think we faked her death. What happened in the car, Adam? Ilana told me our numbers are down. I think people are getting bored. We need to up the stakes. What happened in the car, Adam? Nothing. Turns out she died on stage, after all. No more staging anti-climactic deaths. We need "boom." What about their reasons for dying? Isn't that the most important thing? Hmm? Nothing. - Ilana. - All right. Get going. Excuse me. I have an idea. We need to make a splash if we're gonna get renewed for a second season, - am I right? - Mm-hmm. Right. $250,000 is not gonna cut it if we want to attract the best contestants. I thought they weren't contestants. Are you finished? - I'm thinking $1 million. - A million? $1 million for the death of the year on the season finale. We get the audience involved, we plaster billboards all over the country, and the next thing you know we're back on top, just like that. Say yes. - I'll talk to the network. - No, no, no. I need a yes or a no. - I'll convince them. - Thank you. - Hey. - Hi. Uh, I forgot my run-down for next week. You wouldn't happen to have an extra one, would you? - Oh. - Yeah. Perfect. Thank you. - Good night. - Good night. Little man, I've got a quest-- Hey, where's Elliot? He was transferred to palliative last night. What? Sorry. Excuse me. Oh, no. What are you doing here? No, no, oh, no. No. You get out. - Please, can I just say goodbye? - No. No, you cannot. I told them to keep you away from him. Don't you think you have done enough to screw up the last few weeks of my son's life? He is 11 years old, for God's sake. You had him talking about nothing but death. That wasn't me, I promise you. I tried to stop him from watching-- Fuck you! Fuck you, you Satanist bitch! You brainwashed my son! - Please... - You stole his innocence. I love your son. I just want to say goodbye to him-- Get out! You get out! You get out! Get her out of here before I do! I'm sorry. Mr. Curtis? I spoke to a friend and he told me you were a man who gets things done. I know you. Mr. Washington, right? Yeah, you used to live a few blocks away from here. Pretty wife, good job, a kid. Two now. No job. You don't want to be messing with me. No, no, no. I don't want drugs. I hear that you loan money to people in need sometimes. Not to people like you. Look, it's just a few thou. I'll pay you back, man. I promise. And what happens if you don't? The streets ain't for you no more. Drive. You're an abomination! Life is a gift! This is not the American way! Stop this madness! This is so wrong! I'm here at the scene of auditions for This Is Your Death. There's a $1,000,000 prize. But however, there are also allegations of faking a death on a previous episode. We're hoping to find out more today. As you know, we're running these auditions throughout the country today, so there's no guarantee that any of you will be selected. Our casting criteria changes show by show, so all you need to do is be yourselves and prove your willingness to go through with your suicide on stage. Now, we're gonna set you up with one of our psychiatrists who are gonna run you through some questions. Cool? Gentlemen, the FBI can ask questions all day long, but neither Sylvia nor Adam nor any of the crew are gonna talk until charges, if any, are pressed. Are we clear? You'll be hearing from us. Thank you, guys. What the fuck was that?! Well, this is awkward. Adam, can I talk to you? Uh, no. I'm late for my New York Standard interview. I know that you lied to me about that woman in the car. I lied to you? Uh, no, I didn't. She died on stage. The car cameras were still rolling. I saw the tape. I know that you killed her. Yet you didn't report me, which makes you an accomplice. Jesus. What happened to you? I built this show, Sylvia. And I'm not gonna let it die because some pussy had second thoughts. Now... Did you delete the footage? Of course. Good. Good. Adam, call for you on two. - Take a message. - It's your sister. Then definitely take a message. It sounds bad, man. Karina, what is it? Do you remember when we were kids and you pretended to be a monster? What? One minute you were my big brother. You were my hero. And then you-- You were possessed and I was so scared. I was so scared... and I cried and cried and cried. Okay, Karina. Karina, I have to get to an interview right now, okay? I'll talk to you later. I got fired today. - What? - Don't be mad. What-- what'd you do? I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. I just wanted to relax. You're high right now, aren't you? Goddammit. Sis, those kids needed you! You needed them. The kids didn't need me. I was the stupid sister of a satanic TV host. - That's you. You're satanic. - Okay. Okay, sober up. Call your sponsor, and then your therapist, and then we'll talk about this together, after the finale, all right? Yeah. Dammit! Perfect. Uh, I'm not sure we can do this on stage. One sec. Yeah, I need to talk to Sylvia. Hi, Zach. He wants to what? Adam, we need to talk about the season finale. It can wait. Uh, no, it can't wait because it is the season finale. - Adam! - Sylvia, it can wait. No, it can't. We are about to interview call-backs and I need your input. I'm sorry, what's your title again? It's producer, right? So why don't you fucking produce? You know where we stand in the ratings, you know what we need to do, now get it done. - L'chaim. - Wh-- What? It's-- it's what the Jewish kids say at school. It means "to life". I like it. - L'chaim, then. - L'chaim. Mmm! Just a sip now, Derrick. I'm cool, ma. I'm cool. Daddy, what's your job? Go on, explain it to her, honey. Yeah, I'm junior head of sales for Southern California Whirlpool. - Doesn't that sound so good? - Yeah. It's gonna be just like the good old days. Except even better. Excuse me a minute. Hey. Uh, Adam's gone. That's okay, I wanted to talk to you. Oh, okay. What's up? I've made a decision and I need your help. But I need you to promise this stays between us. I'm sorry I was so hard on you. I knew you were trying your best while I was just working part time. Oh, please. Please. You were just raising a beautiful family. You're doing a great job with these children. You know that's more important than any job out there. I mean it. Eve, come here. They're in here. Ta-da! Is this like an all-expenses paid business trip, pops? Yes, sir. I gotta go get trained up. I gotta catch up on the new technologies. Now, you, um... you listen to your mother while I'm gone, all right? And you both work hard, especially you. - You hear? - We hear. Hey, Dad. I forgot to tell you, the 17th president of the United States was, um, Andrew Johnson. That's right, son. Good job. Hey, guys, start rolling. Mr. Washington, hi. I'm Sylvia. I'm the show's producer. Pleased to meet you, Miss Sylvia. Are you ready? You know, I'd be lying if I said yes. I know what I gotta do. Let's take a walk. You're from L.A., right? Yeah. Yeah, I grew up a few blocks from here, actually. Oh. I used to play on these tracks as kids. Two and three I want you bouncing off each other. One on cue, stay right under the jib. FBI. We have a warrant to obtain footage immediately. We're on air in 30 minutes. Can this wait until after the show? I'm afraid not. We need all camera feeds from episode 119. That's five terabytes. You're talking about at least two hours. There's a waiting area in the hallway. Why don't you gentlemen make yourselves comfortable over there? Thank you so much. Appreciate it. What the fuck was that about, Ilana? That was the car exhaust episode. Don't worry about it. We're fine. ...55, 54, 53... Hurrah! Let's make a change! Hurrah! Let's make a change! Hurrah! Let's make a change! You still have time to change your mind. Chiro? It's time. And Mason, we're gonna need you ready in 10. Hello? Hello? Honey, who is it? I don't know, I can't tell. Hello? - Derrick, get the phone from your sister. - What up? Do not answer the phone "what up". I thought I taught you better than that. There's no one there. - Yes, there is. - No, there isn't. Mom, there's no one there. Eve's just playing. No, I'm not. Don't call me a liar. - I'm not a liar, I promise. - Okay, okay, sis, relax. Go brush your teeth and I'll read you a story, a'ight? All right, not a'ight. Didn't I tell you this was going to be the most memorable show ever? You just witnessed a traditional Hari Kari, and that was just the beginning. Stay with us. I'm Karina. I'm up next. Mason Washington. And I'm scared as hell. Yeah. Don't worry. It'll be over soon. Mason, can I ask why you're doing this? I'm trying to save my family. And you? Same. Karina, we are ready for you. All right, people, we got a public hanging coming up next. So I want lots of-- - We are tracking off the charts. The network is calling you my protg. I'm proud of you, kiddo. I would hold that sentiment. All right, guys, we've got a change of plans tonight. The hanging man dropped out. Oh. And you didn't think to tell me until one minute beforehand? Well, I did, but I decided not to. It will not be a lot of movement, just center stage and here's Adam's prompter script. Should I be concerned? You probably should be, yeah. Welcome back to the season finale of This Is Your Death! Your host, Adam Rogers! Here, on This Is Your Death, we have been on a mission all season long, a mission to wake this country out of its complacency, out of its slumber, to experience the reality of the real, and tonight is no exception. Please welcome our next brave guest, Karina R-- What? Keller, cue this video. - Don't. - Cue the video, Keller. This is my crew and it is my show. If you cue that video, Keller, there will be no show! No season two, no syndication, no international sales, nothing! Good! May I remind everyone that we are still live? Keller? - This is a joke, right? Somebody tell me what's going on. - Goddammit. - My name is... - Uh, Karina Rogers. - Are you kidding me? I'm the little sister of Adam Rogers, the host and co-creator of the show. - What is this? - Adam and I were closer than most siblings, I think, growing up. Um, our parents were killed by a drunk driver - when I was 15 and Adam was 20. - Karina? Karina, no. - Adam just dropped everything to take care of me. - No! Kar-- hey. - Sylvia! - I developed... - Karina! - ...clinical depression. - It sucks. - Karina! Karina! - You're a monster. - Sylvia! No, I'm your protg, remember? What, Bernie? Listen to me, I got the entire board on the line here. Please, God, tell me this is a joke. ...believing he could change the world. He did, I guess. Just not the way he intended. Why are you doing this? - Stop this! Stop her! - I'm doing this for myself. - Hey! - And I'm doing it for Adam. And I'm doing it for all of you. None of you are watching me to feel empathy, or to be shocked back into reality. You're watching me to see how I'll off myself. I hope I'm the last one. Karina! Hey! Somebody back there, stop her! Hey! Hey! Don't let her do it! Back up! No! No! What're you doing? What're you doing? Somebody call 911! - Please... - Tell me, what are you doing?! Somebody call 911! - Look... I'm gonna miss you. - You're all I have left. You're the only person in this world I got left. - I'm gonna miss you. You're okay. - What're you doing? - You're gonna be okay. - No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no! No! No! Karina. Karina. Are you happy now?! Did you get what you wanted?! Are you happy now?! Get her out of here. I'm going on my own. Keller, you are in charge. Don't say anything, just do your job and finish this, okay? Cue the VO and cut to commercial. We'll be right back after these messages for the grand finale of This Is Your Death! It's time. Let me go with her! Let me go with-- What are you doing? This next act involves explosives, so everyone please insert your earplugs. We're on in five seconds. Four. Three. I grew up a few blocks from here, actually. We used to play on these tracks as kids. I knew all the steam engines. I remember one day in particular, an old JB-36 steam engine was rolling through... Mason. You know him? He used to clean our offices, yeah. That's what we did to have fun. And my childhood was the kind you lived through without ever thinking there was a way out. The point is, I made a promise that if I were to ever have kids, someone to be responsible for, they wouldn't have to grow up in a place like this. You know what? I did it. I found a job. Got my wife and kids into a good neighborhood, and then that job evaporated with the economy, and I haven't been able to land anything just to-- Just to make ends meet, you know? All I want to do is work, be a good father... a good husband... but I... I'm out of ideas. I'm at the end of my rope. And I made a promise. So I'm here. No! I'm sorry, I can't do it! I can't do it. I don't want your money. Wha-- what am I doing? I love my family. I love my life. I won't do it. I won't. What are you doing? What-- what are you watching? I just-- I just wanna go home. Can't we just turn it off? Can't we all just go home? We love you, Mason! Yeah! Cue the final music. Let's get this fucking show over with. Mason! Mason! Mason! Just give me a second. It's all on there. He threatened me if I spoke, but it doesn't matter anymore. There he is! There's Mason! Hey, Mason! Right here! Right here, Mason! You let this-- It's you. Please stop. Get your cameras out of my face. Please, stop it! Shut it off! Shut it off! What is wrong with you? You're animals! You're fucking animals! Shut off your cameras! Shut them off! - Shut them off! - Let's go! Shut them off! |
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