Newborn.
I open my eyes.
I melt.
Into the eternal night.
A spark.
I fall into the flame.
You brought me
out of the shadows.
You lifted me from the ground.
Brought me back to life.
What is she dreaming of?
How calm she is.
In love.
Forever at peace.
We climbed the steps...
To the wonder.
It's coming in.
Love makes us one.
Two...
One.
I in you.
You in me.
Momma?
Why are you unhappy?
I'm not.
I'd never hoped
to love again.
I'll go wherever you go.
Tatiana, look how
cute she is.
You want a little sister like that?
- How old is she?
- Three months.
If I left you because you
didn't want to marry me,
It would mean
I didn't love you.
I don't expect anything.
Just to go a little
of our way together.
Stop being so serious!
You understand?
He's asking if you want to come
and live in the United States.
My sweet love.
At last.
My hope.
How I loved you.
So how long have you
been here?
A couple of months.
How do you
like it so far?
I like it.
- Do you have any children?
- I have a daughter.
She's 10.
I bet it's hard being a single mom.
I know my daughter's a little younger,
but it would be fun for them
to get together, maybe.
It's kind of a hard age
to move away from someplace.
Honest.
Rich.
If you love me...
there's nothing
else I need.
You spoke little.
But you were an incredibly
loving man.
Okay, what are we missing?
There's tons of stuff.
It's super clean.
Everything is
beautiful here.
Look how clean everything is.
Are you going to marry her?
She has pretty hair.
Pretty hands.
You guys might
get rich together.
She can even make drinks.
It'll be great.
You'll be my stepdad.
What's going on here?
We're doing
a little remedial work.
Remedial work?
We're looking to make sure
there's no toxins.
I got stuff on my house.
Kids acting strange.
Sometimes we see...
like tar
coming out in the cracks
in the patio.
The neighbors here, they
had their house in escrow.
They pulled out.
The buyers pulled out.
Yeah.
That's too bad.
The reports
from the lab came in.
It showed the presence
of lead and cadmium
in the surface soil
and in the dust
in the schoolyards...
What is this love
that loves us?
That comes from nowhere.
From all around.
The sky.
You, cloud.
You love me, too.
I've had it blonde and
brown and pink and red.
Me, I could never dye my hair
unless my mom says I can.
My mom doesn't care.
My mom's pretty cool.
After school you took her
to swim.
Taught her the names
of the wildflowers.
You called her
your daughter.
I'm writing my thoughts.
You love me?
Of course.
I don't have any friends.
In Paris I had lots.
We need to leave.
Both of us.
There's something missing.
There is a love...
that is like a stream
that goes dry
when rain
no longer feeds it.
But there is a love...
that is like a spring
coming up from the earth.
The first is human love,
the second is divine love
and has its source above.
The husband is
to love his wife
as Christ loved the church,
and give his life for her.
He does not find her lovely--
he makes her lovely.
But there is a grace that
comes in such a marriage.
I got married when I was 17.
And I had a child.
But my husband...
started running
after other women.
And he left us...
and went
to Canary Islands.
And other priests have
told me that...
in the eyes of the church
I'm still married to that man.
They said I couldn't
have the sacraments.
I want to be a wife.
I don't even know why I was
with him in the first place.
Then it sunk in.
I didn't really want
to tell my dad,
because I knew
he would start yelling.
I'd never give her up.
Ever.
Everywhere you're present.
And still I can't see you.
You're within me.
Around me.
And I have
no experience of you.
Not as I once did.
Why don't I hold on
to what I've found?
My heart is cold.
Hard.
I write on water...
What I dare not say.
I try to cradle you.
To make you contain yourself.
An avalanche of tenderness.
The world so far away.
A ghost.
Ashes.
You see that red band
in the sky right there?
And you see that blue
down below it?
That's the earth's shadow
on the atmosphere.
Look. You see
what I'm talking about?
Stop for a second.
You see?
Look at me.
I'm not looking at you.
I don't want
to look at you.
You're not my father.
You think you're my father.
You're not.
Tatiana...
You're annoying me.
Father, I'm going
to pray for you.
Thank you very much.
So you will receive
the gift of joy.
Me?
Because you're
so unhappy.
'Cause you don't
come out too much.
Do you get lonely all the time,
or most of the time
when ain't nobody around?
So what you got
to say about it?
You gotta have
a little more excitement.
Just like when me and you are around,
and there ain't nobody around.
Just, "Hey!"
The power hits you, brother.
It always hits me.
You can just say, "Hey, power,"
and it hits me.
Hits me before
I can get it out.
See, the devil don't know
what I'm saying.
And you won't know
and I won't know.
I can feel the warmth
of the light, brother.
That's spiritual.
I'm feeling more
than just natural light.
Feeling the spiritual
light, see?
I can almost touch that light,
coming right from the sky.
The parish has grown a lot.
And we really
need more room
For the community
to get together.
We have plays,
we have dinners,
We have parties.
We have C.C.D.
in the parish hall.
We have weddings,
we have parties.
How long will you
hide yourself?
If I would have known
it was there...
Let me come to you.
Let me not pretend.
Everything that's happening...
Pretend to feelings
I don't have.
Man is in revolt against God.
The Prophet Hosea saw
in the breakdown
of his marriage
the spiritual infidelity
of his people.
In that broken marriage,
we see the pattern of our world.
We wish to live inside
the safety of the laws.
We fear to choose.
Jesus...
insists on choice.
The one thing
he condemns utterly
is avoiding the choice.
To choose is
to commit yourself,
and to commit yourself
is to run the risk--
Is to run the risk
of failure,
the risk of sin,
the risk of betrayal.
But Jesus can deal
with all of those.
Forgiveness
he never denies us.
The man who makes
a mistake
can repent.
But the man who hesitates,
who does nothing,
who buries his talent,
in the earth.
With him,
he can do nothing.
My visa has expired.
We need to face the facts.
If you'd asked me to stay,
I would have.
You thought we had forever.
That time didn't exist.
These guys live around here,
I mean,
They're perfectly happy
until somebody comes around
asking questions,
and it makes everybody nervous...
Ain't this is our property? Can't we
do what we want to do with it?
I tell my husband to get us out of here,
but where we gonna go?
They got all these lawyers,
these big time lawyers,
And we can't get no help.
Even the dog is acting funny.
We've been on this house
for a long time.
You're out at the ranch
up there?
I've been there
for some time.
You told me about her.
I have to look at.
Some of these creeks
and rivers--
The woman you met
at the hospital.
You talk to my sister, right?
Someone you'd known
in your youth.
I'm going over to the...
The tall grass prairie now.
The ranch is going
into receivership.
It's going bankrupt.
No, he claimed he didn't
want to have kids
While he was in school.
She hadn't changed.
So many student loans,
gambling debts
and this ranch
that's falling apart.
I caught you
on the right day then.
Kind.
I had a child...
a little girl.
She died.
My father...
he said to read romans.
"All things
work together for good."
He believed that.
Will you pray with me?
I had no faith.
You knew.
Were you afraid?
My mother says
I'm chasing moonbeams.
Is that what she said?
I told her I'd rather
Have a moonbeam than
The life I had before.
Do you want this?
Do you know
what you want?
I can't afford...
to make mistakes
with men anymore.
I want you to come
more often.
Can you?
I've been waiting for you.
I felt wild.
I don't know.
What are you laughing at?
You.
- Me?
- You make me laugh.
You make me happy.
You took me.
No.
Girl.
Little girl.
Fool.
Here I am.
Yes.
I feel stripped bare.
I don't know
where I'm going.
I return to my apartment
and collapse.
I can't take it here
anymore.
Paris is dreadful.
I don't see Tatiana.
She's gone...
To live with her father.
I can't find a job.
I want to come back
to the states.
I met someone who told me
He'd marry me
so I could get a green card.
Tell her.
I trust you.
I want to be your wife.
I love you.
Walk away.
I thought I knew you.
Now I don't think
you ever were.
What we had was nothing.
You made it into nothing.
Pleasure.
Lust.
Ma'am, if you'll come
over here.
Sir, if you'll be
on this side, please.
You all have rings
for each other?
"To love, honor
and cherish you."
"Be faithful only to you."
"As long
as we both shall live."
"And I do promise
before these witnesses..."
"And I do promise before
these witnesses..."
"To love, honor
and cherish you..."
"To love, honor
and cherish you..."
"To be faithful
only to you..."
"To be faithful
only to you..."
"As long as we both
shall live."
"As long as
we both shall live."
I feel so close to you...
That I could almost
touch you.
There is always this
invisible something...
That I feel so strongly...
Which ties us so tightly together.
I love this feeling...
Even if it makes me
cry sometimes.
It is so strong,
this conviction...
That I belong to you.
Maybe you'd like me to stop
telling you I love you.
I know that strong feelings
make you uneasy.
Tell me if that's so.
See my bracelet.
It's pretty.
Where's it from?
How's everything there?
You miss being here?
It's great here.
Honestly, at dad's
it's so much fun.
Did the tooth fairy steal it?
No, I'm the one
who took it out.
It didn't hurt?
You're so pretty.
The divine presence...
which sleeps in each man,
each woman.
You say...
"Christ said this."
"Christ said that."
What do you say?
And what you say,
does it come
from god within?
Answer that...
which is of God,
in every woman,
every man.
Know each other
in that love,
that never changes.
I'd like to show you
here on the monitor.
This is the area
of your uterus,
and the I.U.D. That you
have in place there.
We feel like one of the
less risky procedures
that we can do is
to remove this device.
And we see if those
symptoms don't resolve.
I think something that
you and your husband
need to consider
is with the absence
of the I.U.D.
Is this a time that you may want
to think about children?
Or is there another means
for contraception?
So I don't need to have
a hysterectomy?
That's the good news.
Thank you.
Would you like
to have children?
Someday.
"God gave us marriage
as a holy mystery..."
"In which a man and woman
are joined together..."
"And become one."
"And with affection
and tenderness..."
"freely give themselves
to each other."
"This ring I give you..."
"Is a sign of our
constant faith..."
"Is a sign of
our constant faith..."
"And abiding love."
"And abiding love."
Go.
Where are we...
When we're there?
Why not always?
Which is the truth?
What we know up there?
Or down here?
We pray thy blessings
upon them
and upon this food
which we are about to eat.
Would you like one?
Alone.
He just goes off
like that.
I don't know
where he goes.
Leave while you can.
Now that you're young.
Beautiful.
Your whole life
in front of you.
Live and do
what you like.
Life's a dream.
In a dream you can't
make mistakes.
In a dream you can be...
Whatever you want.
Anything.
Leave this place.
It's cramped.
Small.
There's nothing here.
Look at their faces.
False.
All false.
You're a little dreamer.
You need to fly.
You should be free.
Listen to your heart.
Dead?
No, my bag!
You're crazy!
We'll get it later.
When we come back.
It's hidden.
You don't need anything.
You're free.
We're gypsies.
You're like me.
A gypsy.
I'm my own experiment.
Come get me.
I'm here.
Where are the people?
They're all dead.
Nobody's here. Nothing.
I want somebody to surprise me.
Where are you people?
What are you looking at?
You think I'm a monster?
An evil monster?
A vampire?
A witch?
I want to break
these chains...
Be free.
Open me.
Enter me.
Show me how to love you.
Why do we come back down?
Things have gotten worse.
In and out of prisons
like this.
I don't know what happened.
I was drunk.
If I had done this,
I'm not saying I did,
I might've, I could've.
I'm asking
for forgiveness, father.
I can't help myself.
If you need me to kneel down,
I'll kneel down.
I want to be free.
That sun is just
right in my eyes.
I can fight, I will fight.
I can fight with my
feet and hands.
They think they're really about
something, but they ain't.
You gonna open that bible
and preach to me now?
Intensely I seek you.
My soul thirsts for you.
Exhausted.
Will you be like a stream
that dries up?
Loverboy!
Where are you?
Love is not only a feeling.
Love is a duty.
You shall love.
Love is a command.
And you say,
"I can't command my emotions.
"they come and go
like clouds."
To that, Christ says,
"you shall love...
whether you like it
or not."
You fear
your love has died."
"It perhaps is waiting
to be transformed
into something higher."
We fight.
Without knowing why.
Weak people never bring
anything to an end themselves.
They wait
for others to do it.
How had hate come to take
the place of love?
My tender heart
grown hard?
Do you want me
as a wife?
A lover?
Companion?
He's killing me!
I'm sorry.
You want me to die? Here!
Why don't you
have them?
I'm frightened.
Why do you turn your back?
All I see is destruction.
Failure.
Give me your blessing, father.
I've hurt people.
I know what I am.
My god...
what a cruel war.
I find two women inside me.
One...
full of love for you.
The other...
pulls me down
towards the earth.
I thought
you went away.
Forgive me.
Please.
Don't take up with anybody
during the first six months.
Don't stop talking
to people.
That's the first mistake that I see
people make in my practice.
Sometimes you eat the bear,
and sometimes
the bear eats you.
You can't feel sorry
for yourself.
Once we get her served...
that'll start the process.
Because there's
no children involved,
this could be a fairly rapid process,
if that's what you want.
And I don't want you
to lose hope...
It's very hard
to be there.
The one who loves less,
the one who's stronger.
You have to struggle
with yourself.
You have to struggle
with your own...
strength.
Why?
I saw you.
Again.
They are sending me away.
I won't be here for long.
They are sending me
to Western Kansas.
Western Kansas? What are you
gonna do in Western Kansas?
A lot of people around here
is going to be missing you.
We need people like you
here in Bartlesville.
To preach the gospel.
That's why we have churches.
Where are you leading me?
Teach us where to seek you.
I feel a lot of burning,
you know...
I pray but sometimes
I don't hear him.
I don't think
he hears me.
Christ, be with me.
Christ before me.
Christ behind me.
Christ in me.
Christ beneath me.
Christ above me.
Christ on my right.
Christ on my left.
Christ in the heart.
Thirsting.
We thirst.
Flood our souls
with your spirit and life...
So completely...
That our lives may only be
a reflection of yours.
Shine through us.
Show us how to seek you.
We were made to see you.
I want to keep your name.
Love that loves us...
Thank you.