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Toni Erdmann (2016)
Toni Erdmann
Good morning. Package. No idea what my brother has been ordering again. Toni! Did you order something? He just got out of jail, he just do what he wants. He was very well locked: mail bombs. Yesterday he ate a whole can of dog food. Just a moment. Come see. Get you ass off the hammock now. Keep this and I'll throw you out. Did you order 3 more Venus catalogues? No I did not. Don't be so mean to me. - Come! The guy's waiting. - Where? At the door, where else! Where? What? Where is the guy? - Here. Hello. - Good morning. My brother is lying, I've never ordered any erotic products. I don't care what's in it. It's better that way. Give me that. Now I really want to defuse it. - Do I get to sign? - Yes. Lukas? What the... Hello. My colleague, the minesweeper. Come on, get it. Now I sign. Don't be afraid, it's just... It's my blood presure monitor. My brother, that was me. You guessed right. No offense. Thank you. Goodbye. Coming. Come, let's get some air. He can't see anymore. Our lesson is tomorrow, right? Yeah, but... I wanted to tell you... I wanted to tell you that... I want to quit taking piano lessons. I don't have time anymore. That's not a surprise. Not really. And what do I do with the piano now? I bought it just for you. Just kidding. Well. Tell me... There is this ball that goes around... I wanted to see something on Google, I must do my make-up for a school party. I see, it's frozen. Come, my sweet. Don't be afraid. Willi! Why don't you put him to sleep? He's only suffering. I won't put you to sleep either... I got you these tartes flambes. They are really good. You just have to warm them up. You eat these? It happens. Take them with you. Now sit down. Yes, but... I have to go soon. The Dombrechts are cutting your hedges tomorrow. You are blocking their sun. At last. I'll be able to shoot right into their living room. Perfect. I might bring Ines tomorrow. Apparently she's travelling through. She's here...? Don't be afraid, Mrs Radica. - Will you be fine? - Yes, just fine. Can I borrow this? And what's with the getup? So you're interested, after all? I've taken up a side job in an old people's home. 50 euros per death. Most of them won't fight back. ...34 years of loyal services to the Laurensberg school. For this new life, the advice of an unknown poet: "It's mighty jolly to do nothing and to be able to rest." Thank you. Many thanks to the plastic arts club of group 5 B. We are pleased to welcome groups 6 D and 4 B with a new musical tribute conducted by Mr Conradi and Ms Eikamp. ...three, four... We are dead sad that you are leaving, Mr Dudinger. Here today, gone tomorrow As soon as I arrived, I had to leave But I never complaint of anything... Dear God, what is this? I have an upset stomach. Where are you going like that? I was about to get my gun. You have a gun? Obviously. You were dressed like that at school? No, I'm working part-time in an old people's home. Interesting... Brbel, hello. Hello. - Winfried. - Babette, nice to meet you. You are going to be parents, congratulations! You must stick together. Red, white or beer? The same as you. - Isn't she here? - Still on the phone. Here. Thanks. Her flight was ok? She was tired. But apparently things went really well in Shanghai. Isn't she in Bucarest anymore? Sure, but she had meetings. She wants to go there next. Yes, it all went really well. They're opening a new branch there. So she was meeting managers from Siemens. New clients. And executives too. She faces heavyweights in the ring. Very well. And in Bucarest, what does she do? She's in the oil business. She does advising for an oil company. She's just a consultant. I must take note of all that. Whose birthday is it? We decided to celebrate early. Oh come on, you should have... You should've let me know. - You guys talking business? Hello, dad. - Hi. Spaghetti. - How's it going? - Really good, actually. I didn't know you were celebrating your birthday already. But next week... I have a meeting in Bucharest. I'll bring your present then. Sure, please do that. Just ring my bell. You might be surprised. - Everything cleared up? - Yeah, it was nothing. You have something on your blazer. What? Quick, gall soap. Mom, I have a whole suitcase full of things. I'm sorry, that was me. It's just a tiny spot. What was that? Just my blood pressure monitor. - What's wrong with you? - Nothing. Just routine. And your outfit? Am I supposed to get it? We were joking around with the school band... I'll wash it off. I'm affraid I must leave. I left Willi with my mother. How is he? Not bad. He sleeps a lot. Look, here. Can you fix them again with that professional glue? It cracked. In your case, I see you right at home. Exactly. Can't we glue them for good? To make them permanent. My crowns are so boring. All she does is talk on the phone. We must have done something wrong. Come back inside. I'm still on the phone. And what else? Almost done, dad. That's very good. Anyway, I will get back in touch... with you tomorrow. I'm glad we talked. Good evening to you too. Bye. Is everything alright? Just a little stress. - You leaving already? - I'm afraid I must. - Wanna to come to Grandma's for breakfast? - My plane is at 10. - Did you tell her I'm here? - It does not matter. I'll call Inge. Who? I've hired a substitute daughter. Perfect. She will call on your birthday instead of me. It was a joke. I don't know if I still have make-up anywhere. Oh, I'd forgoten. Thanks. - Let's talk on Skype soon. - Sure. My Skype's working again. - She shouldn't work so hard. - She's doing great. Come in. In your basket. You're my little Willi. Excuse me, please! Mr Conradi? Yes, I got him. Just a moment. I'm Anca Pavelescu. I'm Ms. Conradi's assistant. Are you still there? Just a flying visit. I know, it was a little... No, you don't need to come. I'll go to a hotel. No, really, nothing's wrong. Fine. See you later. Ok. Bye. Yes, please? Yes, I'm here. Ok, sure. See you later. She asks if you would like to accompany her... This evening, to a reception of the American Embassy. - Was that her? - Yes, she's still on the meeting. Ok. When she will... I will let her know. And how is my daughter? As a boss? As your chief? She is very... honest. She gives me a lot of feedback. About my performance. No, "performance" means my work in general. For exemple, in meetings, with the team, dealing with the clients. And what's most important when dealing with the clients? That no concept makes sense if the client doesn't want it. The art is to tell the clien what he actually wants. I'm sure my daughter is good at that. Wow. What a long day, right? Yeah, well, sure, you have to work. And I've really invaded you here, huh? How long were you waiting? Three hours. I wasn't even sure you'd recognized me. I did, but that was the entire Romanian board of Dacoil. How was everything with Anca? They were all very nice to me. The driver too. So listen, about tonight's event: It's a business reception given by the American Embassy There will be speeches, appetizers, small talk... That's it. Great. Can I go like this? That will pass. Just one last thing. If there's a chance to have a drink with Henneberg, the CEO, our client, I will go alone, ok? I'm fighting right now to get out contract extended. Of course. No concept makes sense without the client. You can say... that you're my father, but... but maybe that you're tired after your cultural program. Go. We are late already. That guy looks like Tiriac. Maybe. Can you grab us something from the buffet? - Something. The buffet? - Right. Sure. Thanks. - Our third time today. Good evening. - True. Good evening. That was a fascinating speech. We are not yet where we want to be... but Romania has really shown great economic strength in overcoming the crisis. I looked at the rentability case again. We will be able to make a well-founded statement on Monday. Good evening. I'm the father. Henneberg. Are you visiting? A spontaneous decision. I'd never been to Romania before. Actually I came to negotiate. She's hardly at home anymore, so I hired a substitute daughter. Now the question is, who pays her. - It's a modern solution. - Yes. And is the other daughter better? The cakes are better. And she cuts my toenails. But she's not your daughter, right? Have a good evening. Great. - A good evening to you. - Good evening. He's the CEO I told you about. He's a really important contact for me. I'm freaking out... these Chinese wannabe investors... We're going for a drink, if you'd like to join us. - What's your name again? - Winfried. That's terribly nice of you, but I'm too tired. I've done too much today. A heavy programme. Culture. Maybe your father would like you to join him. One drink. Come on! We have two cars, in case you change your mind. Come. - You want me to come now? - Yes. Interesting how you describe your job... I'm sorry, please say it in your own words. Don't you dare steal my idea. No, we're incredibly proud of her. What she does here... and stuff. Yes, you can be. - Goodnight. - Goodnight. - Goodbye. - Nice to meet you. I somehow had to make it clear to him that it was a joke. Anyway, what were you talking about? What exactly is outsourcing again? What is it? It's when you transfer work to another company. He wants to outsourse the maintenance of the oil installations. - So what did you say? - Nothing. I just shouldn't have let it slip out... Why? He wants us to give him the reason, but he doesn't want to take responsibility. So, he needs us. What would you be responsible for? Dad, these processes mean hundreds of employees being transferred and later laid off. These decisions are unpopular, so he would need to blame someone else. Then you can read in the paper that some consulting firm has ruined something. Tell me... How long are you planning to stay? I took a month off. There. That was real fear. I have a massage tomorrow. After that, I'll show you Bucharest. Here's your gift. - Already? - Go ahed. Open it. If you don't like it, throw it away. Thank you. Why didn't you wait and come on my actual birthday? The flight was not expensive enough. Thanks. That's a really good cheese grater. It's french. From Designo. The real gift is here, actually. Buy yourself a new blazer. - Or something else. - You don't have to give me money, dad. And who did you leave Willi with? Well, Willi... Willi, unfortunately, has died. What? I'm so sorry. He was an old dog. Why didn't you call me? Because I don't always have the time, either. Would you like some sausage? Not for me, thanks... Man, that was bad. I walked out. I'm not paying 100 euros for someone to pet me. Wasn't that a bit much? No, it's fine. My company spends so much money here... So... Are you a bit happy here, at least? What do you mean by happiness"? It's such a strong word... I mean do you have a bit of a life, too? Like going to the movies or something? Well, yes... just doing something you enjoy. Lots of words around here: fun, happiness, life... We should sort it out. What do you think it's worth living for? If you want to discuss the big topics... I can't say that off the top of my head. I really just wanted to know how you're doing. I know that. But then you should have your own answers. Shit. I have to meet Natalja, Henneberg's wife. She's at this mall. I'm afraid it's important. - When? - Now. Now? It's actually more interesting and Romanian than the Ceausescu palace. It's Europe's largest mall and no one has money to buy anything. You poor thing, you had to wait ages. Was it so terrible? Are you really human? No, it was great here. I watched some wonderful ice skating. I went to Lidl, too... Do you still want to do something? Go to the Ceausescu palace? Or go home? I can make spaghetti, I took classes. - Thanks. - So? Everything OK, spaghetti? Are you hungry yet? No, not yet. Sorry for my stupid comment earlier. What comment? Whether you're a human. It's OK... It's obvious you'd think that. I need a short nap. I must meet the Hennebergs at a club, at midnight. See you in a bit. I thought you were dead. What? What time is it? Ninethirty. You slept for ages. - What? Why didn't you wake me up? - You were so fast asleep. I thought you wanted to wake me up for dinner. I tried to. Shit. Shit! I have four missed calls from them! You know what this means to me? I have a presentation on Monday that I've worked on for weeks... I can't afford to just stand up someone like him. I just don't know if... ...if you're always doing as well as you say you are. Even if I wanted to jump out of the window you and your cheese grater wouldn't be able to stop me. Do you have any plans in life other than slipping fart cushions under people? I don't own a fart cushion. I know men your age who still have ambitions. Here, your shampoo. Keep it if you need it. It's one of the best from Aix-la-Chapelle. Well, at least not so bad. well... Yeah, next time I'll have more time. Deal. You got you foot under it? Don't touch it! Can you move it? It's definitely not broken, though. - But I can't leave you here like this. - It's not that bad. - I take you downstairs. - Out of the question. Bye. Bye. Call me if anything's wrong. Sure. Bye. - Good morning. - Hello. Tarom or Lufthansa? Always Tarom. I love the romanian field. Henneberg arrived early. How was it? A bit annoying, I had to go shopping with his wife for three hours. But we had dinner and I put out my feelers. I think he's become more cautious of outsourcing... or that he has new opponents... That topic definitely caused tension. - So I... - OK, that comes as a surprise. I reworked the presentation, and I think we should definitely... Use a softer touch? Can I finish what I was saying? I think we should go on the offensive. He's hoping we'll decide for him, that we'll emphatically order it. I think he can't be an active proponent. So I'd like to present three options. A full outsourcing in all assets, essentially a radical cut. Then the middle option which, in contrast, looks realistic and almost harmless. And a minimal solution in just one pilot asset that changes practically nothing. it's difficult to change the strategy so close to a meeting. It's not good. - Where did you eat? - Da Vinci. - I'm not convinced. - Argument number two is Illiescu. We have to say he's blocking us. All the figures from Buzau are flawed. For a clear business case, we'd need more from Illiescu. - Every other table is incomplete. - Ines... I'm not criticizing you, Tim. But we can't make a clear statement anyway, so that's why we need three options. Illiescu isn't an issue for the steering committee. We'll put this in a comfort zone. The three options... - Are OK if you really feel confident.... - Absolutely. The final point is Dascalu. Things are still difficult with him. He'll definitely be our opponent. Is that little Anca going to be there? Yes, she'll be clicking the PowerPoint, Gerald. You want me to be there? It's better if I do it alone. Let's talk about it in a minute... I wanted to ask, are you pleased with my work in general? Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. I think you've really improved. Thank you. I just think you should try to speak more German. I know, but it's not enough for everyday use. Anca! The hair. 200 employees? What do you think? It's a lot... Thank you. So? I don't like that you don't stick to the plan. The Illiescu thing wasn't exactly elegant. The next steps are clear. But please inform me if there are any more problems. Ok, I will. But otherwise... well done. - Thanks. - You're an animal, Ines. - Can I pull up the screen? - Pull up? Yes. It's me, I wanted to know... ...if you arrived well. Hope you had a nice trip. I think you kept my keys, it's not important. See you. Bye. The team meets at 1 pm. I call you after. That's it. Super. See you later. Goodbye. - Did it go well? - Very well. Come on, don't be offended. - Be happy you weren't there. - I'm not offended. To quote Gerald: It's all included in your price. Gerald's prices are different than mine. What are you doing tonight? I'm meeting Steph de Boer and Tatjana. Women's group? What are the themes? Gender quotas, sexual harassment at work, things like that. - Business varnish? - Yes. Chic. Heart failure. It was very nice to meet you. The speaking went well. It doesn't need any more work. I made good use of the space, I spent time in the room beforehand, too. And the breathing? The breathing? - Did you apply the technique? - I didn't need it this time. It went well, but... I would like to do some work on my body language. Sometimes I lose control of it... Do you have an example? It tends to be when I'm listening. I suspect you're really listening in those moments. Yes, right. That's noble, of course, but maybe you need to focus more on your own message. Ah yes, I see. - Can I grab you for a second? - Sure. I have the feeling the team isn't so tight anymore. Tim thought the same. Think of the team spirit... We must prevent a gulf opening up between the Romanians and us. They've lost their morale, somehow. Yeah, I thought so, too. That corresponds with my impression. I'm holding a brunch for my birthday, anyway, so I'll invite everyone. Very nice, something personal. Good. We'll work with the numbers we have and won't make a fuss about them. Your idea of building up pressure through Dascalu backfired. Him and Illiescu won't be discussing our project. Ok. Why not? Dascalu trusts Illiescu and sees no need to act. Mama, I'm working. Henneberg wants to keep Dascalu out of it so he can negotiate with the unions. It's what I do. So how can I continue my work? The transport data is all wrong. Many more people work there. You can't cut enough staff here. The good news is: Henneberg wants you to do the radical cut. Yes, I eat fruit. But that was totally unfounded. Surely you realized it was all on the verge of speculation. Above all, to sell such a big restructuring I really need precise figures. This will annoy the feminist in you. To quote Henneberg: Ms. Conradi has enough charm to manage Illiescu by herself. If I was a feminist, I wouldn't tolerate guys like you, Gerald. I'll take that as a compliment. Henneberg wants to keep you here. He really believes in you. - what did you say to him? - That I'd talk to you. But that I think you'll finish the project. - And our deal? - I know, of course. But we're talking one year max. Then you can start at a whole new level. I've heard that a few times before. I can manage Bucharest just as well from Shanghai. That's not realistic. This is your partner case. Did he just fart? Think it over. Then you can choose where you want to go. But for now we finish this. Can we continue this conversation somewhere else? - I need your decision. - I know. I'll think about it. Now I'd just like a coffee. I was just wondering where we met? Excuse me? What are you doing here? I work here. We're about to have a meeting. I have to go inside, too. I'll have a supervision with Mr. Henneberg. I hope he's a bit less stubborn today. Marburger. Also from Morrisons. Erdmann. Do you use hand lotion? Then it's probably me. Mr. Erdmann is... a freelance coach. So I'll be in touch with you again later, about the workshop. A workshop for us? Yes, it's being considered. We'll see. If you willing? Sorry? Are you willing? Oh, drop it. Well. Goodbye. Excuse-me, on my way. Listen, are you insane? Are you trying to ruin me or what? Dad, I'm talking to you. Well, if this is about your father, I'm not the right man. But if you want to work on your charisma... or if you notice you're talking to no-one on the phone, you're welcome to contact me at any time. Oh, there's my man. Oh, not electric? Super. I'm envious. Will he make two? I can work on that. No problem. But a two-masted boat is a lot of work. Crew of five. You can forget Daniel. He has to mix the cocktails. Send me some pictures. Super. I'll call you back. Ok, bye. Such a stupid sailing trip. They want to take a two-masted boat. What's the point? - So the maid hasn't come yet? - No. Only Bogdan. Wow. Gerald found out about us. So what? He told me not to fuck you too much so you don't lose your bite. I told him that's why I fuck you. And today I want to fuck you in every corner of this room. What's wrong? I'll just watch you first... I'll try to catch up. Hurry up then. I don't want to lose my bite. Come on, don't be so serious. I'll fuck you real strong. My sperm has superpowers. Come. No, my bite is really more important to me. I'd rather just watch you. I want you to aim at one of the petit fours. I'll eat if afterwards. Are you serious? Which? The one you please. The green. I'm going to come. You're stupid. Come here. Gerald's lady. What a mama. He posts photos of himself barbecuing. Hello, Mr. Erdmann. So, have you calmed down a bit? Is Tiriac still coming? He said he was, yes. But today was the funeral... for Angelina. - The turtle, of course. - Exactly. - Did he have many turtles? - Crowds of them. There was even a turtles fanfare. Am I supposed to... do something in particular here? - Want some drink? - Yeah, sure. Who's this guy? A workmate. - Here. - Thanks. Tim Trauter, Mr. Erdmann. Erdmann, pleased to meet you. Everything OK? Sorry. - Friends, right? - Of course. And what do your parents do for a living? - My parents? - Yes. - We have a car dealership. - Great. - BMW. - Excellent. We learn a lot from our parents. For example, I learned from my father how to use a cheese grater. We pass this down from generation to generation. Is it a special cheese grater? No... a very ordinary little cheese grater. Believe it or not. And you? Do you like grating cheese? Sadly, I don't have the time. Yes, you have to be incredibly relaxed to handle a cheese grater right. - They're putting on quite a show here... - No expense spared. This is... Dana. Tim. Nice to meet you. Erdmann. You're also here? - Is Henneberg still here? - Yeah, yeah. We just had dinner. He always must... I'm here incognito today. We'll speak tomorrow. You have to meet my husband. Yes, I just have to call my mother. - Henne is being coached by this dude? - I know, so funny. Car party? Absolutely. Later. I was just learning a bit about Romanian traditions. Excuse me. Mr. Erdmann, we're going to the club and would love you to join us. Translation, please. - In which embassy you work. - In the Germany one... In the German. I am Ambassador Erdmann... - What are you doing with that guy? - He's amusing. No... my heart. Thank you. Don't be afraid. Sorry, I was just checking in on you. You are completely ill! Open them up, please. No, it's too risky. Where did I put the key? Let me go, I have an appointment. I'm about to be picked up. I can't find it. I really can't find it! Come with me. Take that off... - What? - Take that off! Ok, If you think so. Please, can you just tell him not to fire that man or something? That's up to him. The more he fires, the fewer I have to fire. Listen. Please, take it. I couldn't believe you told them not to lose their sense of humor. That's really cruel. It wasn't about that. It was a nice encounter. How can we modernize that whole place if you pee your pants when one of them is fired? Take a short break, please. With every step you take, I can tell you how direct your economic connection is to these people. Your pseudo-green attitude won't help you there at all. You do everything like you have to. Wonderful. It's here. Please, let's go... Ms. Schnuck, this is yours. - Try it. - No. Yes. This is... very healthy. Please take notes. Just a few. I'm leaving. For once, let's finish something politely. Nothing's wrong, Gerald. I just have nothing on. It's a... a naked party. Interesting, OK. It's part of the team building. You said that... Stupid idea, but I couldn't think of anything better. You don't have to join in. Ring the bell if you change your mind. Thank you. Am I early? It's a... It's a naked party. Gerald had the idea. He knows this kind of thing from college. - To strengthen the team spirit... - Of course. And who's already here? No-one. I know for sure they're all in there, and I'll be the only one who walks in naked. Call me when the joke's over. Thank you, Tim. Shit. Tim told me you only let us if if we're naked... But it's not about sex? No, no. OK. So it's just as a challenge... Correct. I brought you this. Unfortunately... it didn't completely wash out. Oh, thanks. That's no problem at all. You welcome. Thank you. Am I the first? Many happy returns! Thanks. Because you always ask for mine. No big deal. Is everything OK? At the office you are always so... so stiff, and now you... come up with this. You like the apartment? Why? Because I searched so long... Oh, really? I didn't know. Thanks. It's nothing. - Want a drink? - Yes, please. - What...? - Maybe... Tim? Who is it? It's not Gerald? Are you Gerald? Had a beer first. Come in? Oh fuck! Huge! Awesome. Hardcore. It's huge! Where did you get it? I think it's Bulgarian. Nonsense. Now he's leaving already... This is... salmon with lemon remoulade. Just serve yourselves. Guys, I have to pay that guy quickly. Gerald and Anca are there. Dad! A serious occasion... - Can I? - Yes, thank you. I'm sorry I didn't see her again. The line is long... They all still want money from her. - Are you ready? - Yes. You can close the coffin now. Can I help you with anything? It's almost done, thanks. If there's anything you're attached to... let us know. Benjamin's making a list. Yes, I'll think about it. Go visit him. He'll be happy. Yes, on occasion... Ines. Where are you these days? Budapest. Bucharest. But I just finished there. Now I'm going to Singapore for two years. A new firm. What are these companies called? You've probably heard of McKinsey. I used to be with Morrisons. Amazing, you travel the world. Winfried, can you come here? And you, still in Malaga? No, we went back to Remchingen. - I'll be right back. - Ok, see you. That song... Irma is crazy, right? They were supposed to play something by Harry Belafonte. She liked him. Even though it was "negro music" to her... You know... All the things she kept. A helmet. Full of hats, look. You know... About your question there, in Bucharest... about life. About what's worth of living. The problem is... it's so often about getting things done. You do this, you do that... And in the meantime... life just passes by. But how are we supposed to hang on to moments? Now I sometimes sit there and remember how you learned to ride your bike... or how I once found you at a bus stop. But you only realize that afterwards. In the moment itself it's not possible. That's it. Wait. I'll get my camera. |
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