(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(CLEARS THROAT)
(KEYS BEEPING)
(LINE RINGING)
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
JESSE: Like in those movies
that start out as a simple
misunderstanding,
then it snowballs
until the situation gets
completely out of control.
And then the main character
has to explain everything
that happened,
but the person they're
explaining it to
is never really
gonna understand
because they weren't there.
I always thought it would be
great if they could just
hand them
a copy of the movie
and say, "Watch this.
"It'll explain everything."
What?
Like in Don't Tell Mom
the Babysitter's Dead,
when the mom comes home
at the end of the movie,
and everything's
out of control,
Christina Applegate
could just give her mom
a tape of Don't Tell Mom
the Babysitter's Dead.
The character in the movie
has a copy of the movie?
Yeah.
Like the actual VHS you can
buy at the store with the
cover and everything?
Yeah!
That's fucking retarded.
But then the mom
could watch it,
see everything
that happened
and how it all
started out so innocent.
Give that bitch
a Blu-ray maybe.
I mean, wouldn't that
be fucking cool?
Jesus Christ!
Look at that tasty bitch.
(IN DEEP VOICE) It was
an ordinary day for
Matthew and Jesse
until a hot piece of ass
turned their world
upside down.
Hello, there.
WOMAN: Hey!
Hey. (CHUCKLES)
WOMAN: Can I ask
you guys a favor?
My phone died.
Do you have one
I could borrow?
Of course. Jesse,
give her your phone.
Thank you so much.
I'll only be a minute.
Sure.
(RINGING)
(CONTINUES RINGING)
(COUNTRY SONG PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
Hello.
WOMAN: (ON PHONE)
Hey! Is... Um, um...
I was looking for Mel.
Okay.
Is he...
There's a girl
on the phone for you.
I told her you were busy
eating my pussy out.
Don't fuck around.
This is a business line.
Sampson.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, Mel,
it's, uh, Dorothy.
About three
years ago, we...
I remember.
(CHUCKLES) Long time,
no talk, huh?
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
Is this a bad time?
No.
I know it's been
a while, but...
Are you okay?
Uh, that's
a good question.
I don't know exactly.
Where are you?
I'm on Radio Hill across
from Dodger Stadium.
Right.
Do you know
where that is?
I do.
Yeah, I'm close.
Okay.
I'll be there soon.
Thanks.
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
Uh, just lock up
on your way out.
WOMAN: I thought we were
getting Chinese Food?
What the fuck?
(KEYS JANGLING)
WOMAN: It's Mel, huh?
MEL: That's right.
You want my number, Mel?
Yeah, write it down.
(ENGINE STARTING)
(SONG PLAYING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
Yeah, no problem.
I'm Matthew by the way.
Hey, Dorothy.
Dorothy, pleasure
to meet you. (CHUCKLES)
This is Jesse.
Hey.
Hey.
So what brings you
all the way up here
on this fine morning?
Um, I don't know.
Just trying to clear
my head, I guess.
All right.
What about you guys?
(CHUCKLES)
Oh well, uh... (CHUCKLES)
We're selling drugs.
Really?
Yeah, what's your poison?
Weed? Mushrooms? Acid?
(CHUCKLES)
We've got whatever
you need to clear your head.
Oh, my God.
Come on.
It's on the house.
I don't really do
that kind of thing.
Ah. Good girl, huh?
Hardly. (GASPS)
I did ecstasy once.
Ooh-la-la.
Oh, it's not sexual.
You know that.
Hmm.
It just felt good.
Yeah.
Do you guys
have any of that?
I could stand to feel
good right about now.
Of course.
Jesse, give the fine lady
some ecstasy.
(UNZIPS BAG)
(CHUCKLES)
JESSE: My lady.
Thanks.
This is so stupid.
(CHUCKLES)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
All right!
JESSE: We gotta meet
in the butterfly garden.
Ah, so we gotta go see
a customer in the
butterfly garden,
but do you wanna
join us for brunch?
I'm supposed to be
meeting a friend.
We're your friends now.
(CHUCKLING)
Come on.
Are you still going to
be here in ten minutes?
I hope not.
Now, now.
You stay right here,
and we'll come back
and we will whisk you away
for some mimosas,
some French toast,
a little bacon-infused
caramel sauce.
We'll see.
Oh, we will
see you at brunch!
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(DOROTHY URINATING)
That's against park policy.
(DOROTHY GASPS)
(GASPING) Oh, my God,
have you been there
this whole time?
You scared
the shit out of me.
RANGER: Just long enough
to let this tree grow up
around me.
(LAUGHING)
Now you stopped me
mid-stream.
RANGER: Well, that's
bad for the kidneys.
You want I should
close my eyes?
No, I think the
moment's passed.
(RANGER CHUCKLES)
To be honest I didn't know
whether to pipe up or
just enjoy the show.
I thought I was
up here all alone.
I didn't realize people
came around nowadays.
RANGER: We don't get
much foot traffic.
Just the lovers,
the dreamers, and me.
I guess I'm the dreamer.
What does that make you?
RANGER: Oh, I'm a different
sort altogether.
Well, now that
we're acquainted...
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Uh, I've been up
for 32 hours
and haven't eaten in
almost that long.
Do you got another one
of those Pink Ladies?
RANGER: I always carry
two apples, just in case
I make a friend.
Thanks.
I'm supposed to be
meeting a friend,
but I guess I could
pass the time.
Well it's a proven fact
that every job
goes quicker
when you got
two people on it,
so with the two of us
working together,
we'll get your time passed
before the whistle blows.
(CHUCKLES)
That's a refreshingly
sanguine way of
looking at the world.
I'm Dorothy, by the way.
Fontaine. It's a pleasure
to meet you, Dorothy.
What's your first name?
Uh, I guess we'll just
stick to Fontaine if
it's all right with you.
Uh-uh. (CHUCKLES)
I'm not calling you
Fontaine like one of
your locker room buddies.
My given name ain't much
if you ask me,
which of course nobody
ever did before seeing fit
that it stuck to me.
Listen. I've been
hearing about red shoes
and tornadoes
my whole damn life,
so you're not gonna get
any sympathy from me.
Let's have it.
Yeah.
It's Skippy, if you gotta
stick your nose in it.
Skippy Fontaine.
That's bad.
All right. (CHUCKLES)
Let's just keep things
moving forward.
What do you do
for a living, Dorothy?
I'm a dancer.
You mean like ballet,
or do you mean maybe
the dirty kind?
I mean maybe
the dirty kind.
(CHUCKLES) I knew it.
You got that
twinkle in your eye.
It's kind of you
to notice my eyes.
There's nothing
wrong with it.
My mother was a stripper.
My grandmother
was a stripper.
I come from
a long line of strippers.
Well, I'm definitely
first generation.
Now, on my dad's side,
I come from a long
line of park rangers.
And strippers and rangers
get along real good together,
you know why?
They both like to bask
in natural beauty.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
You're a hoot.
Well, I'm giving you
my best material,
'cause it sounds like
I got precious
few minutes
to make an impression
before your friend
gets here.
What time's she due?
He.
Oh, well that tears it.
Nice to meet ya.
Oh come on.
You only want to talk to me
if you think you can
get in my pants?
Not at all.
But it does add an exciting
air of mystery to the scene.
Well he's not my boyfriend.
Not that that should matter.
Just a friend, huh?
I don't know...
He's just a guy I met
a few years back and I
haven't seen him since.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(CHUCKLES)
Well, what's so
special about him?
Nothing special.
There's some people
that you don't forget,
even if you've only
seen 'em one time or two.
Now that's poetry.
Hmm.
You think I'll be one
of those people?
Ask me in three years.
Touche.
That does not
deserve a touche.
I'm off my game today.
Oh, you just need
a little time in bed.
Hmm. Sleep, you mean?
I do.
I just have too much
on my mind.
You know what I do
when I need to take
my mind off things?
I go see a movie.
And, yes, that is an
invitation by the way.
There's nothing
I want to see.
You don't like movies?
I guess I'm
more of a reader.
I like old movies.
Well then you live in
just the right town
for that.
You've got the New Beverly,
the Silent Movie Theater,
the Egyptian, the Aero...
There's an old movie
playing every night of
the year in Los Angeles.
And did you know that they
even screen old movies
at the Hollywood Cemetery?
Right on the wall
of the mausoleum.
Now that is where
I'd like to be buried,
cuddled up in my grave,
next to Jayne Mansfield
and watching scary
movies together.
You have quite
the death ahead of you.
You know my favorite part
about going to the movies?
The trailers?
The chewies.
(CHUCKLES) The what?
That's one of the four
movie food groups.
You got your popcorn,
you got your soda pop,
you got your chocolate,
and you got your chewy.
And that's my favorite.
You gotta have one item
from each food group
for a balanced meal,
and I always save
my chewy for last.
Mmm-hmm.
And you'd better watch out
if I don't get my chewy.
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah.
You mean like
Twizzlers and things?
Mmm-hmm.
That stuff is disgusting.
Well, what about
circus peanuts?
You can't tell me
you don't at least
like circus peanuts.
Am I boring you,
Miss Dorothy?
I'm sorry. I'm just a,
a bit distracted today.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I got
real good ears.
Just some
trouble with work.
Did you go up on stage
forgetting you had on
your granny panties?
No, nothing that serious.
Hmm.
I just think I saw
something I shouldn't have.
I've been in trouble
for seeing things
I shouldn't have.
Of course I was standin'
on top of the trash cans
peering into Sue Ellen
Adcock's bedroom
window at the time.
DOROTHY: Hmm, you're good.
(SKIPPY LAUGHS)
SKIPPY: Well, I was only
trying to change my name.
See I'd much rather be
called Tom than Skippy...
(BIRDS CALLING)
...even if I am one of
the peeping kind.
(DOROTHY LAUGHING)
MAN: (ON RADIO)
Tommy, this is station.
You on Radio Hill? Over.
Station to Tommy,
gonna need that 20. Over.
You still near Radio Hill?
We're gonna need you
to go over to the
butterfly garden.
Got some suspicious
activity there. Over.
Station to Tom?
Station to Ranger, pick up
on that butterfly garden.
Over.
SKIPPY: Sue Ellen Adcock
was a shapely lady.
(LAUGHS)
Well, anyway...
Well, you certainly are
cheering me up.
Well, I'm doing my best
to turn that frown
upside down,
but your mind is
not on my folksy yarns.
Don't you hate it when
you've got something
good going,
and then someone
comes along
and mixes in something
just fucking lousy?
(CHUCKLES) You mean
like when they go and mix
cranberries into your
chicken salad sandwich?
Certainly one example.
Or like when you're having
a good belly laugh watching
reruns of Friends,
and they throw in
some tearjerker with
Ross and Rachel,
and they remix the theme song
to sound all sad and slow
and sappy?
Exactly what
I was thinking.
You're on a roll.
(CHUCKLES)
Or like when they take
an honorable profession
like stripping
and mix it all up with
gangsters and crooked
businessmen?
Are you a mind reader,
Fontaine?
I told you it's
the family business.
You thought I was lying,
but I know how
these things work.
Are those boys at
the club threatening you?
Do I need to do
something about it?
I think that's out of
your jurisdiction.
(CHUCKLES) Are you
taking applications?
Maybe I should quit
dancing and become
a park ranger.
You'd have to wear
this snazzy uniform.
You sure you can
keep it on all day?
Yep, what about you?
(CHUCKLES)
I don't even like nature,
but with all the shit
waiting for me down there,
I think that I could
probably stay up
here forever.
I'd be happy to write you
a letter of recommendation.
I'm serious. I'll do it.
You sure now?
'Cause once I get
my marching orders,
there ain't no
calling me off.
Hmm.
Life's little
possibilities, eh?
Do you mind if I tell you
that you are about the most
beautiful girl on
God's green earth?
No, not at all.
My mom used to say the exact
same thing to me and it feels
nice to hear it again.
Did your mom pass on?
No, no, no,
she's alive and well.
She just stopped saying
that kind of thing to me
around the time that I
outgrew my training bra.
The ones that love us
the most sometimes forget
how to say it.
Yeah, it was probably
just the booze talking.
Or not talking...
My dad struggled on
and off with the potion too.
I never touch it myself.
Me neither.
But I have been known on
occasion to let it touch me.
Womp-womp-womp...
All right, now you got
the pep back in your step.
(CHUCKLES)
We've said a lot,
you've seen a lot.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
I should probably go look
for my friend though.
It was nice meeting you.
Well, the pleasure was
all mine, Miss Dorothy.
And I do hope your troubles
disappear on you.
Yeah well, like everyone's
damn grandmother says,
"It will all work out for
the best in the end."
Well that certainly is one
way of looking at things,
but it's not the only way.
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING)
So I ask to use his bathroom
and I see he's got a case of
Wet Ones on top of the toilet.
So?
So, what is he
a baby or something?
Let me ask
you something.
If someone smeared shit
on your forearm,
and you used a dry paper
towel to wipe it up,
would you consider
your arm to be clean?
I don't know.
So I take it this means
you don't use Wet Ones.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
What happened?
Hey?
Chick!
Go see if she's okay.
She's not breathing.
Oh, Jesus Christ,
you fucking killed her.
What?
They can't blame us
if she O.D.'d.
Whoa, whoa.
You're the one that gave
her the dose, okay, not me.
She only took one.
You mixed up
the last batch.
Who knows what the
fuck you put in it.
I let her use my phone.
They can trace that shit.
I told you to get
a fucking burner.
Don't you watch The Wire?
I can't afford HBO!
Jesus, Matthew,
what are we gonna do?
(EXHALING)
I don't know.
Why are you smiling?
I... I can't help it.
It's a natural reaction
to this kind of thing.
It can happen to anybody.
(EXHALES)
Holy shit.
Holy shit, you
fucking killed her!
Oh God.
Come on, let's get
the fuck out of here!
(EXHALES)
(EAGLE SCREECHING)
Woo-hoo!
Hi boys.
Well look at you.
Whoa!
What are you doing, Janet?
I'm just getting
ready for tonight.
Do you like it?
I think you're
a little overdressed.
Uh, this isn't
a prom sweetheart.
I was just trying
to look nice.
I don't think this is the
right thing for the occasion.
Veronica, what are you
wearing tonight, darling?
Slacks.
See that sweetheart?
I, I think you'll look
silly wearing this.
Why don't you go in there
and put on some slacks.
I just thought you
would like it.
I don't want everybody
looking at us.
Well, you used to.
That's why you married me,
you always said.
I don't think this is the
right occasion for this.
Janet, why don't you be
a sweetheart, darling,
and bring me another one
of these gimlets?
Okay.
Nothing for me, darling.
There's a way to look nice
and then there's a way to
look appropriate, Janet.
You can't blame her
for trying, but Jesus.
(CHUCKLING)
As long as she keeps
making these pastelillos,
hell, she can wear a feather
in her cap for all I care.
I can't think of the last time
I had a home cooked meal,
much less a few of these
"whore's devours."
I made Pot Buds last night.
Oh, that's right you did.
And I added the gorgonzola
and the prosciutto
and all that other stuff
that makes those damn
things edible.
Kraft Dinner and Potato Buds.
Now those are her
two favorites and
her two best dishes.
As long as it comes
in a cardboard box...
These are the sacrifices
we make Roger.
Maybe if she got out
of bed one day before noon
I might be feasting on
Cream of Wheat, who knows?
Would you light me one
of your cigarettes?
Those ain't my cigarettes.
Those are yours.
I smoke Smokies.
The originals.
Not these Lil Lil shits.
She won't buy them herself
because she don't want to
admit she's a smoker,
so she makes me buy
these little things.
Hell it's like trying to
drink a milkshake out
of one of those little
red coffee straws.
I miss my Marlboros.
Suck on that, honey.
We certainly ended up with
a couple of fine women,
didn't we Roger?
They're a couple of good
girls, but "ended up"
might be a bit premature.
(EXHALING)
Do you have any tampons?
No, I got my tubes tied.
Why would you do that?
Because Gordy said he didn't
want to have kids.
No, but the next one might.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SOBBING)
(HUMS)
(DOORBELL RINGS)
On human behavior
(DOORBELL RINGS)
GORDY: Are you
getting that, Janet?
(SIGHS)
Would you mind
answering the door?
I have to use the toilet.
I don't know why,
and I don't know how
But she's nobody's...
(DOORBELL RINGS)
GORDY: There's somebody
at the goddamn door.
Are you fucking kidding me?
(INTERCOM SQUEALS)
(CRYING)
"Open the fucking door."
Hello there.
I got into a little car
accident down the street
and I was wondering if
I could use your phone.
Come on in.
Aw, thank you so much.
Can I offer you
another drink?
That would be lovely.
I'm Sampson by the way.
The bar's over there.
Everyone's drinking
gimlets today.
Oh.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Can I offer you
one as well?
No. I don't drink.
Do you want a cigarette?
Oh, I don't smoke.
Do you want a...
Do you want a painkiller?
Not just right now.
Isn't it a shame
when two people
can't agree on a vice?
They're not vices,
they're habits.
Oh.
I think habits are
something different.
Like I've got this thing
where every time
I get in my car I flip
down the visor to...
That's a routine.
Oh.
(CHUCKLING)
Do you, uh... Do you
want some pot?
I think we have a winner.
Hey.
Wow. You have
a lovely home, Mrs. Lyons.
I haven't left this
home in 13 days.
Oh, there's no place
like home. (CHUCKLES)
There sure isn't.
Hell, I'd be happy if he
just took me to the damn
grocery store.
I'd be thrilled if he
just came home one night,
brought us home a pizza,
rented Iron Man 3 and said,
"Hey baby, howzabout you
and me make a night of it?"
He sounds like a louse.
Why don't you leave him?
You ever been married?
Not that I can recall.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I said, "Till death
do us part."
And apparently there
aren't any vows requiring
dinner and a movie,
so I guess, you know,
technically he's held up
his end of the bargain.
I've got no real reason
not to live up to mine.
That's a bunch of shit.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Where the hell
am I gonna go?
I'm too old for
the dating scene now.
You've been too old
since you turned 22.
You're one of those people
that lives their
entire life in the past,
in the future and never gives
a thought to the present.
I know because
I'm one of those people too.
JANET: Is that so?
Come run away with me.
I'll take you somewhere new.
You are one of those
hopeless romantics.
That's what you are.
Oh...
I bet you fall in love
with a new girl every day.
No.
Well, there is a girl
in the bathroom over
there taking a shit
who will make you
forget all about me.
And I don't make
enough money for you.
That's the real problem.
What do you do?
I own a small business.
Mostly freelance work.
Oh, very specific.
Now you sound
like my husband.
He owns a strip club.
I was in love with
a stripper once.
I bet you still are.
I bet she has
a heart of gold too.
You're very pretty, Janet.
Yeah, the boys still
whistle sometimes.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
I looked it up.
You still get your period
when you get your tubes tied.
I found your tampons
under the bathroom sink.
I haven't forgotten about you.
(CHUCKLES)
Do you still need to
make that phone call?
Yes, ma'am.
Come on. (SIGHS) Let's go.
(COUGHS)
This is Mr. Sampson.
He got himself into a little
car accident down the road
and needs to use
the telephone.
Have a seat, Mr. Sampson.
Can I get you boys anything?
I would love another of
those delicious gimlets
if you wouldn't mind.
I wouldn't mind.
It's a ritual, by the way.
Not a routine.
The visor thing
I was talking about.
I just thought of it.
GORDY: Hand him the phone,
will you, Roger.
(GRUNTS)
Sorry about that.
Lieutenant Guercio please.
Jim. Mel Sampson.
I need some law.
I'm at the home
of Gordy Lyons.
Address is 73 West...
Ha! I thought you
might know already.
Hurry on over.
I've got a murder sign
you can hang on him.
How soon can you be here?
Send some uniforms
over first then.
His dog is growling and
I left my heater in the car.
I'll see you soon.
GORDY: Don't bother Roger.
So you're the eye.
I'm the eye.
You're very cute,
Mr. Sampson.
Am I supposed to know
what that phone call
was in, uh, relation to?
I don't expect you to.
I imagine there's
dozens of reasons
the homicide boys would
be interested in you.
Aw, hell, he didn't
call nobody.
He dialed the number
and never pushed talk.
You were on a little fishing
expedition weren't you,
but you didn't catch nothing.
Did you really
crash your car?
Sadly, yes.
What do you drive?
1980 Trans Am.
Still, it hurts.
It sure does.
Check it out,
would you, Rog?
Goddamnit. Ro... Ronnie!
Go on over there and see
if there's a car down there.
There's a car down there.
GORDY: Is it wrecked?
Yeah, it's smoking.
MEL: What did I tell ya?
ROGER: Well, what
the hell does any of
this prove anyway?
MEL: Mm, thank you,
Mrs. Lyons.
I'll be inside if you, uh,
guys need anything else.
MEL: No, stick around, Janet,
and hear what your husband
really does for a living.
I already know what he does.
Then let's set it to music.
Three days ago,
I stepped in some gum,
and it started me
asking questions.
So I punched some
people in their fat faces.
I threatened various kneecaps
with blunt objects.
On several times
I brandished my revolver.
I spent the pathetic amount
of mattress money I had
on bribes and payoffs.
I did these things because
I wanted information.
And I got my information.
And I was certain this
would all lead me to a body.
But the only body I found was
the one I started out with.
A girl named Dorothy Mahler.
And much to my surprise,
you didn't have Dorothy
killed to cover up
another murder or because
she had gone Federal.
You had her killed for
the stupidest fucking reason
I've ever heard of.
You had her killed because
she found some Polaroids
of you getting a blow job from
a woman that wasn't your wife.
What is this shit?
Well, that's you.
That's your...
(CLEARS THROAT)
And that's...
Not Janet.
I found some photos like
that once, remember Rog?
Got some diamonds
out of the deal.
They're in a drawer somewhere.
ROGER: Oh, knock
it off, Ronnie.
(CHUCKLES)
You boys and your Polaroids.
That's a fascinating
tale, Mr. Sampson,
with some mildly
convincing fabrications.
I'm very curious.
How did you expect to
arrest me without a gun?
Oh I... I didn't come
here to arrest you.
I came here to kill you.
(ROGER LAUGHS)
GORDY: And just how do
you plan on doing that?
I'm going to
strangle you, Gordy.
With my bare hands.
GORDY: That's a slow
way to kill a man.
I think Roger here
might have something
to say about that
before you're finished.
MEL: Well to be honest,
I didn't quite plan
on Roger being here.
Oh!
MEL: Hey Roger, why don't you
go fetch your boss's camera?
I want to remember
the look in his eyes
when I choke
the life out of him.
ROGER: Oh, hell, Gordy.
All this talk makes me
want to paint a landscape.
I always thought you
were a fucking faggot.
I could have lived with that.
GORDY: Goddamnit,
Janet. Point that
some other direction.
All right, Janet,
Janet, Janet,
please, Janet, you're
doing my job for me.
(CHUCKLES)
Roger, take that fucking
thing away from her.
(JANET SOBBING)
No, you get up there and
slap it out of her hand.
The most... Worst that
would happen is you
get a flesh wound.
I gave up my youth for you.
MEL: Sing it, Janet!
Roland Emmerich was
gonna put me in a movie.
Goddamnit, Roger.
Do something!
I ain't putting my
hands on no woman.
No, sure, you'll just
send your son Skippy
to do it for you.
You better watch
your step, boy.
You know what, sweetheart?
Shoot Roger too
while you're at it.
You said...
You said you were gonna
whisk me away like
the Prince of Monaco.
That's a fine son
you've got, Roger.
You teach him to play baseball
and ride a bike and
maybe snap a neck?
I made a mistake, Janet.
It happened years ago.
When I was your age, boy,
I was snapping three
necks a week for a buck
twenty-five an hour.
Let me guess, Gordy.
It was one of the girls
down at the club?
One of those, quote,
"Meaningless inventory items
"that couldn't possibly
interest you at all"?
What the fuck did
you think he was doing
down at that club?
Jesus.
Put your pants on
and suck it up.
JANET: Sit down!
That's not a goddamn
hair dryer, Janet.
JANET: Sit the fuck down!
You ask me for a tampon?
You're gonna need a fucking
tampon for your fucking chest!
Janet, listen to me.
Those fucking girls
slipped me something.
They... Viagra or...
Or ecstasy or something.
I was bonkers.
I was out of my mind,
sweetheart.
That ain't the same
story you told me
about that Mahler girl.
Whoo-hoo. What
a mangled web we leave.
It was just a dumb
girl's mouth.
A place to put it.
It didn't mean anything!
You said she knew things
about some certain
business activities.
I have a mouth, Gordy.
I have a heart and a soul
and a mouth and a youth
and it was all yours.
You said she wasn't
gonna stay told.
Janet, you don't know
what it's like to be
a man my age.
Things don't work
like they once did.
It... It was
a rare occurrence.
I felt the need to
grasp the opportunity.
You weren't around.
I am sorry.
You said she was going
to bring us all down.
You weren't around, Janet.
It was a practical decision.
Just like having
Dorothy killed.
Sure, all she did was
open the wrong drawer,
but it's much safer
to have her killed.
You didn't say you
wanted her killed
because she saw some
photos of you getting
your pecker polished!
That's enough, Roger!
MEL: Best to be practical.
Roger's son will take
care of everything.
Snap a neck and
it's all over with.
Should I be flattered, Gordy?
You'd kill an innocent girl
just to spare
my fragile feelings?
Do I mean that much to you?
I panicked. I just didn't
know what else to do.
(STUTTERING) I... I... Look,
I have never cheated on you,
and I will never
cheat on you again.
And if he does he'll
just kill some more
innocent people
so you don't find out.
And why just kill the girl
who saw the photos?
I mean, why not kill the girl
who did the actual blowjob?
I mean, Jesus Christ, Gordy.
It don't make
no fucking sense!
Now that is an excellent
point, Roger,
and I'm glad you
brought it up.
I've had men killed before.
I won't lie about that.
You shut the fuck up.
It's become routine.
I forgot about
the consequences.
It just seemed like
an easy fix, baby.
JANET: Is it easy, Gordy?
I wouldn't know.
Goddamnit, Janet,
I am sorry!
(GUNSHOT)
MEL: Whoa, all right now.
(GUNSHOT)
Oh!
Okay, I think that takes
care of everybody.
Oh, Jesus.
(JANET WHIMPERING)
Don't!
I need to change my life.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
MAN: Oh, man! Get down!
Oh, get down! Hey!
MAN: (ON MIC)
Jilly Bean, move your ass.
There's nobody fucking here.
Coming to the stage next,
spicy and sweet, Cinnamon.
Cinnamon, get your
ass up there.
Hey there cowboy,
would you like to end
the evening with a lap dance?
Not tonight, thanks.
JILL: Ah...
Let me tell you what's
going to happen in
the next few minutes.
Fifteen other girls are
going to come up asking
you the exact same thing.
It's just about closing time
and all the girls want to
squeeze in one more dance.
Now if you buy a dance
from Sheila over there,
she'll talk your ear off
about her kids,
child support payments,
her deadbeat ex-husband,
and just about every
other unsexy thing you
can possibly think of.
And that one, Rachel,
yeah well, she's got herpes.
And yes, I know you're
not going to get herpes
just from one lap dance,
but now that I mentioned it,
you're not gonna be able to
look at her without
thinking about it.
Sorry.
And Cecilia, well...
Actually she's probably
upstairs blowing
the boss right now.
And that frumpy little
thing in the corner, eh...
She'll shake her ass about
as sexily as a concrete mixer,
all the while thinking
about getting home
to read Dostoevsky and
play Sudoku with her cats.
What I'm trying to say is,
if you're waiting for
a better offer to come around,
it's not going to happen.
So why don't we spend
a few minutes together
before we each go home
and cross another day
off our calendars.
Not tonight, thanks.
(CHUCKLES)
I suppose you'd like
to sit here in the back
and watch for free
where you don't have to tip.
Would it make
you feel better
if I told you I was
near-sighted?
(LAUGHS) I can see
your contacts.
All right, you got me.
Let's go.
Oh, no that's not
for a lap dance.
That's for your
speech, and for
letting me get back
to my Old Grand-Dad.
Fucking asshole.
Pour me a drink.
MAN: (ON MIC) All right,
ladies and gentlemen,
that was Cinnamon.
Let her know. Let her know.
DOROTHY: Hey cowboy,
would you like to end
the evening with a lap dance?
God, your eyes are beautiful.
Thanks.
I'm sorry, I've just
never seen them before.
So how about that lap dance?
I'm Mel.
Dorothy.
You don't look frumpy.
Oh, slow down with
the compliments.
I'm supposed to be
the one sweet-talking you.
Your associate over
there called you frumpy.
Oh.
Well that's Jill and
she doesn't like me very much.
I think I just
joined the club.
You don't like me
very much either?
She doesn't like me.
Ah.
(CHUCKLES)
Are you one of those guys
that likes to strike up
a conversation around closing,
and then wants to continue
it at a coffee shop,
or maybe my apartment
or your apartment
or a hotel room?
Does that happen a lot?
I don't let it happen a lot.
But you do let it happen?
No comment.
I'm sorry.
It's none of my business.
Yeah, I guess not.
The answer is no.
I'm not one of those guys.
Good.
So how about that lap dance?
Come have a drink with me.
I thought you just said
you weren't one of those guys.
You said those guys
ask you for coffee.
I'm asking you out
for a drink.
I don't drink.
Good girl.
Yeah, "Good girl."
Don't tell me
you're one of those
Travis Bickle types
that wants to save me?
No, no. You're
a big girl now,
and I'm not any type.
I'm just trying
to be friendly.
People don't come
to these kind of places
to make friends.
Oh, I've made life-long
friends in all sorts
of strange places.
That's a lie.
I don't think you have
any life-long friends,
otherwise you
wouldn't be here.
You're right.
I've let relationships lapse.
I'm sorry.
I... I don't know what's
gotten into me.
I just... I guess
all of a sudden I felt
like I could read you,
but it's not my place.
It's okay.
I can handle candor.
Is that what that was?
It might have
been bitchiness.
(LAUGHS) Okay.
Well, let's split it down
the middle and call it "sass."
Deal.
What do you do
for a living, Mel?
I'm a private investigator.
Oh, a shamus.
Are you working on a case?
Uh, it's my night off.
So you wanted
to spend the night
looking at some naked girls.
I was next door, actually,
listening to my
friend Sally Jaye
sing some songs sung blue.
Only I wasn't
hearing the songs.
I was...
I was hearing Marley's chains
rattling all around me,
and I decided I needed
something new in my life.
Does that ever happen to you?
Sure.
That's how I ended up here
wearing nothing but my
First Communion necklace.
(CHUCKLES)
Last call for lap dancing.
Where the hell did
you get those eyes?
The usual way I guess.
(CHUCKLES)
Sampson, aye?
Yeah, yeah, like
Samson and Delilah.
Your hair's not that long.
Well I'm not that strong.
(CHUCKLES) Maybe.
But you do have a thing
for Philistine women.
Your gun's showing.
I've got a permit for it.
It's not that.
It's just not the first
one I've seen tonight.
Yeah?
Yup.
See that guy over there?
Well I asked him if
he wanted a lap dance.
He offered to buy
me a drink too.
And then when I said no,
he showed me
the gun sticking out
of his waistband.
Suggested that
I perform fellatio on it.
Why's he still here?
Who am I gonna tell?
He's probably
a friend of the boss.
We get all sorts
of seedy types.
Stay here.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Where is it?
What?
Where's the piece?
What?
My mistake.
You know this guy?
Don't worry about it, sweetie.
MAN: (ON MIC)
All right everybody,
this is the last dance,
the last song, and last call.
WOMAN: Hey cowboy.
Not tonight.
...is still calling
on you to make it rain,
so get those singles
out for Cinnamon,
Pony, Rainbow, Dollhouse,
and Dancer Legs.
JILL: You have to leave him.
Let 'em know!
JILL: He's completely
taking advantage of you
and if you don't...
The fuck are
you doing in here?
I must be lost.
Sure.
You must have missed
that left turn back
in Albuquerque.
Hey Freddie, will you
show this gentleman
how to get the fuck out
of my dressing room?
You embarrass me, sweetheart.
A man doesn't like
to ask for directions.
I can find my way out, Fred.
I saw you found that
better offer as well.
Don't be so hard
on yourself, kid.
Your face is
an acquired taste, but
I'm getting used to it.
MAN: (ON MIC)
We are closing down.
They'll be here tomorrow too.
Finish it and get
the fuck out.
(AMERICANA MUSIC PLAYING)
Whoo, yeah! Strap me
to the mast, Sally!
Hiya, Mel.
Hey.
Wanna come up
and join us on one?
I think you could use me
more down here.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
This is our last song.
You guys have been great.
(MUSIC STARTS PLAYING)
BARTENDER: Hey,
another Grand-Dad?
Yeah, bonded.
All right.
I can't find the moon
In the middle
of nowhere
(LAUGHTER)
I can't find the moon
In the middle
of nowhere
Kind of makes you wonder
What darkness can disguise
When I can't find the moon
In the middle of the night
I can't find the moon
In the middle of nowhere
When I get there
I don't know
how I'll get back
Is it better
To want it than to lose it
Once you have it?
There's a motel room
in Amarillo
Waiting for me
There's a motel room
in Amarillo
Waiting for me
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
(LAUGHS)
It's the only destination
I have in mind
And I can't see nothing
but a train going by
So is that your idea
of what bad guys do?
Ask you to
pleasure their gun?
I was thinking on my feet.
It was a dirty trick.
No.
It was a test.
I wanted to see
if you were the kind of guy
who would stand up for me.
You passed.
This was a test too,
and you failed.
You shouldn't
go out for drinks
with strange men.
I could be dangerous.
I've always had
a natural trust
for strangers.
(SCOFFS)
(CHUCKLES)
I guess my mom
forgot to give me
the speech.
Well, you just got it.
(SINGING CONTINUES)
Do you still wanna
buy me that drink?
You don't drink.
Nah,
it's a special occasion.
All right,
in a minute.
Uh, this is the last song.
How's your dance card
looking?
(SMACKS LIPS) Empty.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, God.
Okay.
(DOROTHY CHUCKLING)
(GIGGLING) Whoa!
Okay.
What are you
giggling about?
I'm on drugs.
What are you on?
(CHUCKLES) Ecstasy.
Some of the girls were
passing them around
in the dressing room
and I've never
done drugs before, so...
Why start now?
That's a silly question.
Because it's "now"
every time you do anything,
so if everybody always
asked that question
then nobody would
ever do anything.
It would always be too late.
(CHUCKLES)
(GIGGLING)
All right.
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
Mmm.
Are you okay?
I don't feel good.
How many did you take?
(EXHALES)
I took two.
I didn't...
I didn't feel anything
after the first one
so I just took another.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Shake and shake
the ketchup bottle.
None will come,
and then a lot will.
(EXHALES)
You're okay.
(CHUCKLES)
Okay.
Um, I can't move.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Can I just stand
on your feet
like a little girl
and you can dance for me?
Climb on.
Ooh... (CHUCKLING)
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Better?
Mmm.
Okay.
I like this song.
(SINGING CONTINUES)
(MEL HUMMING)
I kept your business card.
Mmm.
I'm sorry that
I cried wolf back there.
I swear I'll never
do that to you again.
Ah, you can shout "wolf"
from the rooftops.
You could title
your debut LP Wolf.
You can name
your first-born son "Wolf."
Hmm.
I'll come running
every time.
You're sweet.
(MUFFLED GIGGLES)
Hmm.
Come on.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Mmm.
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
CHIPPER: Quarter to two, guys.
Noise ordinance.
Oh, come on, Chipper.
CHIPPER: Them's
the rules, Sally.
Jesus.
Come on,
one more quiet one.
Come on.
I'm beat.
One more,
come on, Sally.
Why don't you
play one?
(STUTTERS)
Not tonight.
Oh, please?
Why don't you play that one
you were noodling around with
the other night at my place.
I don't remember.
You know. The one
when you were drunk.
Oh, that helps.
(CHUCKLES) Come on.
Come on.
Jesus,
you put me on the spot
a little here, Sally.
Oh, well,
here's a piece of it.
Um...
I think this is what
you're thinking of.
(GUITAR PLAYING)
Yeah.
Go back to sleep
Soon it will be light
She moans
And slides down further
Gotta move your car by ten
(SOFT CHUCKLES)
(MEL AND SALLY SINGING)
As I lay down with Mary
Again
(VIOLIN STARTS PLAYING)
Yeah.
I close my eyes
And I have a dream
And I see her face
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
And I wonder when
Will I lay down with Mary
Again
I've got no game
I got no plan
But I do what I can
(CHUCKLES)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
Yeah.
All right.
(CHUCKLES)
Not bad, Mel.
Eh, you know, three chords
and some sap to
hold it together.
That's the secret formula.
Hmm.
It was.
(SALLY CHUCKLES)
My mom's name is Mary.
Yeah? A lot
of good women
named Mary out there.
Mmm, a few
of the other kind too.
Hmm.
So what happened to her?
Who?
The girl in the song.
Nothing happened.
I made it all up.
What?
That's what happens
when you've got
no one in your life
to write about.
SALLY: Hey!
Jilly Bean!
Jesus Christ, Sally.
You know this guy?
(MIC RATTLING)
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
(WOMAN SIGHS)
WOMAN: Please pardon
the interruption while
we change reels.
(SONG PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
Due to technical difficulties,
there will be
a forty-five second
delay between each reel.
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
(MOVIE PLAYING)
WOMAN: I can't let her
stay in this house.
MAN: You won't have
to worry about that.
She's determined
to leave this city,
and she wants to get away
as soon as possible.
WOMAN: I hope she does.
MAN: I hope she can.
(PEOPLE YELLING
IN THE DISTANCE)
(CHEERING)
I thought I smelled dick.
(MEL LAUGHS)
You mean you can
smell with that thing too?
I thought you just used it
for steam-cleaning shirts.
JILL: You're the last
one that ought to be
bringing noses into this.
(SCOFFS) Oh, yeah?
What's wrong with my nose?
Nothing. I'm just still
trying to figure out
if it's igneous, metamorphic,
or sedimentary.
Beats me.
I just remember
it's the same type
of rock as your heart.
Well, that's easy then.
Igneous.
It used to be on fire,
but that was a long time ago.
Didn't you used
to have a heart?
(GRUNTS)
It's broken.
Did I do that?
A long time ago.
Looks pretty fresh to me.
I heard you skipped town
with a mute boxer.
Oh. That.
The honeymoon over?
Let's just say
we've run out of
things to talk about.
I'm sure you'll land
on your feet.
You're looking
handsome as ever.
I'd say
the same about you,
except there's
the small matter of
that beard you're working on.
Abe Lincoln didn't free
the slaves with a baby face.
And where did you
get that necklace?
Mug an eight-year-old girl?
Dorothy Mahler gave it to me.
You used to work with her
back at the club.
Oh, I remember.
That's probably
not all she gave you.
I always hated that bitch.
(SCOFFS)
(GUNFIRE IN VIDEO GAMES)
JILL: Oh, damn it.
Is this your show?
Yep.
We run two double features
every night and fights on
Saturday afternoons.
"Boxing" wouldn't be
quite accurate.
These dumb yokels
are cutting into
my screen 2 feature.
You got a funny way
of laying low.
Oh. With this face
I never learned how.
Still, it's not bad.
(SIGHS) It's a money pit.
I even have to run
the projectors myself.
Where'd you pick up
that trade?
From a projectionist.
Yeah?
What did you teach him?
The Watusi.
(TOILET FLUSHING)
Are we doing
the jealousy bit now?
I didn't get
the new pages.
Well... (CHUCKLES)
Come on. I mean,
you always said
I taught you
everything you know.
(CHUCKLES)
You were old enough
to be my teacher.
I don't remember
any imparting wisdom
to go with it.
And you were an empty vessel,
but that wasn't wisdom
I was filling you with.
(CHUCKLES)
Let's knock it off
before one of us
eases into a soft shoe.
(SCOFFS)
What are you doing here?
I gotta hang
a collar on a guy.
Here?
He's right over there.
What'd this guy do?
He murdered somebody.
Anyone I know?
I don't think so.
You wanna back me up,
for old times' sake?
(BELL DINGING)
WOMAN: Ladies and gentleman,
after 22 hard-fought rounds,
the winner,
by technical knockout,
is Fred.
Come on.
WOMAN: Please give Fred
a warm round of applause.
I gotta lace up
the next reel.
WOMAN: He fought
his heart out.
Fred, please visit
the concession stand
to claim your free popcorn.
Stick around, fight fans,
for our feature presentation
of Alan Rudolph's
poignant drama Choose Me,
starring Keith Carradine,
Lesley Ann Warren,
and Genevieve Bu... Bujold.
Bujold.
(JILL SIGHS)
(AMERICANA SONG PLAYING)
(MEL LAUGHS)
You still see Sally?
Ah, just the occasional
Skype session.
L.A.'s a bit hot
for me right now.
What'd you pull back there?
A failed
extortion attempt,
for one.
(SCOFFS)
I found some pictures
a few weeks back
of the old boss
getting blown by
one of the girls.
(VOICE FADING) I had
an inkling he wouldn't
want his wife to see them,
so I tried cashing them in.
Didn't go as planned.
What happened to the photos?
Fuck if I know.
They weren't
where I stashed 'em.
Maybe I stuck 'em
in the wrong locker.
All I know is
I got the fuck
out of there.
I wasted a year
of my life with you.
What else would you
have been doing?
So much.
Why are you being
so cruel to me?
You're a liability, Jill.
Don't talk to me
like that.
You're the one
who taught me
how to shoot.
I saw an old film noir
at the Egyptian awhile back.
The tagline
on the poster read,
"When a man goes to the devil,
he usually takes a woman
with him.
"This man took three."
I need some air.
(MOVIE PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
Uh, the men's toilet
is full of shit.
It's taken care of.
(LIGHTER CLICKS)
A fella tells me
you Asian girls
have sideways cunts.
I'm only half Asian.
Mine runs diagonal.
I oughta wash
your mouth out
with some soap.
What the fuck
are you lookin' at?
Her.
That's my wife,
you son of a bitch.
You're a lucky man.
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah.
She's a bad girl.
I don't think so.
But if she is,
I made her that way.
Ah!
You must be
the white half.
Or else you've got
a chink dick.
You lost me, old man.
Oh please,
call me "son."
(LAUGHS)
Who was that
old cop friend of yours?
Used to say you had
the Crimson Touch?
Everything you touch
ends up covered in blood,
one way or another.
Fortunately I've just
been touching myself
since you left.
I'm in trouble, Mel.
I've had one eye on you.
I won't let anything happen.
I can't watch
these movies anymore.
Every night,
I see Barbara Stanwyck
or Myrna Loy
and I think
how beautiful they were.
Now they're dead,
and it's gonna happen to me.
Not tonight, it's not.
You keeping up
with your target practice?
(SCOFFS)
I don't need practice.
I shot and killed
a man after we split.
That would
never have happened
if you were still around.
Maybe not.
(BIRDS WARBLING)
I feel so violent.
I'm worried for my soul.
Your soul looks good
from where I'm standing.
Your aim is true, Jill.
That's the problem.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm gonna grab a smoke.
Have one of mine.
No more Old Hats?
Ultra Lights.
Healthy boy.
Baby steps.
Don't tell me
this is your heap?
Don't you like it?
It's perfect for a man
in your line of work.
I bet tail jobs
are a cinch.
That never was my forte.
What happened
to the Firebird?
Crashed it.
Yeah, I crashed
my Boat-Tail too.
We gotta slow down, baby.
Hey, I thought
you only drove American?
Well, you never know
when something more exotic
will come along
and fall into your lap.
Jesus Christ.
That was fucking terrible.
Give me a break.
(CHUCKLING)
I'm out of practice with you.
Whose fault is that?
You got a gun for me?
(WOMAN SHRIEKING IN MOVIE)
What about you?
If I have a gun
I'm going to kill him,
and I'm trying hard
not to do that.
You ready, Jilly Bean?
Let's add some horns
to this thing.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
Just keep stuffing
that popcorn in your face.
There's a gun trained
on you right now.
Well, you're the girl
who sold me my popcorn.
That must have been
somebody that looks
like me.
(SCOFFS) I find that
hard to believe.
Shut up.
You and I
are going for a ride
to the Sheriff's station.
(SIGHS) I haven't had
my chewy yet.
(CHUCKLING) And I get
awful angry if I don't
get my chewy.
You murdered Dorothy Mahler.
You did it because
your daddy told you to
and because
you're a psychopath.
Are you a police officer?
I'm a private cop,
and I'm bringing you in.
And you're going
to spend the rest
of your life in prison.
(CHUCKLING) Now
that's certainly one way
of looking at it.
But, uh,
it's not the only way.
Skip it.
Cuff your right hand
to the wheel.
I'll take that now.
Sure you can
trust yourself with it?
Sure. I've got
my druthers all back
in the right place.
You always misuse
that word.
You make a wrong move
I'll shoot you in the kidney,
then dig the bullet out
with my dirty hands
for a souvenir.
(SIGHS)
Start the engine.
Uh-uh.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR STEREO)
It hurts my feelings
when you say
I broke your heart.
It was me
that woke up alone
that morning.
I'm trying to be
a better person, Jill.
I'll catch you on
the base side, Mel.
Ah. Projectionist humor.
Stay sweet, Jilly Bean.
Let's go.
(TIRES SCREECH)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(GUNSHOTS)
SKIPPY: Woo!
Woo-hoo-hoo!
(WHOOPING CONTINUES)
(GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)
(MEL GROANING)
Jesus.
Hiya, Jilly Bean.
(GASPS)
(PANTS)
Oh, God.
I'm gonna go
call an ambulance.
Stay with me.
What happened?
It's all your fault.
I was distracted and
he got the jump on me.
(CHUCKLING)
I was thinking about you.
Don't say that.
I knew you'd be
the death of me.
Baby please.
Let me go call an ambulance.
I want you here with me.
I don't want anyone
to bother us.
I've gotta go do
a changeover, baby.
Otherwise the reel's gonna end
and the screen's
gonna go dark,
and people will get mad
and they'll start looking
around.
And they'll find us here,
and bother us.
So let me go do that
and then I'll come
right back here
and stay with you, okay?
I've seen this movie.
This is the last reel.
I've missed you
for so long.
Are you my girl?
I'm your girl.
I've always been your girl.
But I've been lost, Jill.
I've been violent too.
Your soul is good, Mel.
I know your soul
and it's beautiful.
Let's make a kid together.
Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Right now?
Okay.
Baby, you've lost
a lot of blood.
I don't know if I can
get you hard right now.
(LAUGHS)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
We can make a baby.
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
And I can teach her
to ride a bike,
and play guitar,
and baseball.
They have
Old School Sesame Street
on DVD now.
We can show her that
instead of the Elmo shit.
And I can take her on
walks down to the creek
where I grew up.
But it's not there anymore.
Sweetheart, you and I would
make the ugliest damn kids.
(LAUGHS)
This wasn't just
kismet tonight, was it?
Gordy sent that guy after me.
He was here to kill me.
Could've been...
Stepmother...
When did you...
What is that tattoo?
That's a Jilly Bean.
Sing to me, Jilly.
Baby, let me go
call an ambulance.
Sing me that song
you used to dance to
at the club.
Baby.
Just that one song,
and then I promise,
I'll let you go
call an ambulance.
(SOBBING) Okay. Okay.
I said if I'm in luck
I just might get picked up
I said I'm fishin' trick
and you can call it
what you want, girl
I said I'm wigglin' my fanny
I raunchy dancin',
I'm a doin' it, doin' it
Try not to pass out
(SOBBING)
Mel?
Mel? (SNIFFLES)
Oh, God.
(GROANS)
TICKET GIRL: Hey,
we're out of quarters.
Why the fuck
did you change
the price to $7.50?
(SOBBING)
Oh, my God.
(SCREAMING)
Help. Somebody help.
Somebody help!
Jesus Christ,
this guy's fucking dead!
(TICKET GIRL
CONTINUES SCREAMING)
Shake that ass,
popcorn girl!
Shake that ass!
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
(LAUGHING)
(SONG PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
(CRYING)
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
Oh, would you stop that.
He's on his way up here.
Please get dressed.
I am dressed.
Oh, yeah right.
Are these the only pants
you brought to wear?
Yep.
Well, will you put them on?
Dress me, Mommy.
Oh for heaven's sakes,
Mary, I wish you'd
take this seriously.
I'm excited.
I think it's about time
a couple of us hens
got some dick in here.
ELEANOR: Don't talk like that.
Well, that's what
they're called.
"Dicks."
Do you have any brandy?
You're supposed
to offer him brandy.
He's not going to ask for it,
but he will expect it.
No, Mary,
I don't have any brandy.
She is your daughter
and all I'm trying to do is...
(DOORBELL RINGS)
(MUMBLING)
Mother, I love you.
I love you very much
and I promise you,
Dorothy's okay.
(SIGHS)
She's just... She ran off
with some guy for a few days
and she's having
the time of her life
and the last thing
she's thinking about
is me and you.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Now go get the door
for the dick...
Dick-tective.
And I promise you
I will be on my
best behavior.
You're just so easy
to fuck with, Mommy.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
All right.
(CHUCKLES)
Would you please
get the door?
I want to be seated
when he arrives.
Of course.
God, Mary.
Thank you.
Ugh, this damn music.
(MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)
(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)
Ready?
Yes, ready.
Yes?
I'm looking for Mrs. Mahler.
I'm Miss Mahler.
May I help you
with anything?
ELEANOR: Oh, Mary...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Would you come in,
Mr. Sampson?
And don't mind my daughter.
She's feeling theatrical
this morning.
Please have a seat.
MEL: Thank you.
I'm Eleanor Mahler.
And I can't really say
that I'm happy to meet you
but I'm relieved
that you're here.
I understand, Mrs. Mahler.
ELEANOR: Would you care
for a drink?
We're out of brandy.
I'm fine, thanks.
ELEANOR: I found your name
and your phone number
in the address book
on my granddaughter's
computer.
Your name was the only entry
inserted in there and, uh,
it said you were
a private detective.
MEL: That's correct, ma'am.
How do you know Dorothy?
MEL: We were friends.
Have you heard
from her recently?
Well, I should
rephrase that.
We were friends for a night.
(LAUGHING)
It was several years ago.
We got along
and I gave her my card
in case she ever
needed anything.
ELEANOR: Mmm-hmm, I see.
I see. Well,
we haven't seen
Dorothy in five days now.
MEL: Is that unusual?
Well, she and I
are rather close.
We typically
telephone once a day.
And Dorothy never indicated
to me that she was going
to be leaving town.
So when we arrived
in Los Angeles,
I went straight
to her apartment
and I saw that she hadn't
fed the cats, so I...
I snooped. (CHUCKLES)
Didn't find any clues,
so to speak.
But her mother thinks
that she's just off
being young
and falling in love,
and I don't believe it.
MEL: Why not?
I don't know, exactly.
But I... I feel like
I know the girl
and it doesn't fit.
What does your granddaughter
do for a living?
She's a stripper.
Did you know that?
MEL: Yes.
But you wanted to know
if I knew it.
Mrs. Mahler,
this sounds like
a missing person's case.
Why not go to the police?
ELEANOR: Oh, I...
You know I...
I love my granddaughter
very much,
but she's
a very troubled girl.
What I... What I know
about her life is shameful.
I fear that what I don't
know about her life
is illegal.
And it may sound
corny and pretentious,
but the Mahler name
still draws water here
in this town,
and I'd like to
keep it that way.
MEL: I see.
Look, I can write you a check
right now for your retainer.
What is your rate?
Thank you but there's no need.
Dorothy was a friend.
ELEANOR: Yes,
you mentioned that.
Even still... (STUTTERS)
I would feel better
paying you.
I'd like to interview
each of you separately,
to find out as much
about Dorothy as I can.
Would it be all right if
I started with your daughter?
(STUTTERS) I suppose
that's all right.
Look, I haven't had
breakfast yet.
I haven't eaten
for days for that matter.
So I'll just be downstairs
in the restaurant
when you're ready for me.
MEL: Very good, ma'am.
Okay.
(SNIFFLES)
Uh...
I... I don't know
what your night
with my granddaughter
meant to you, Mr. Sampson.
It meant a great deal,
Mrs. Mahler.
(SIGHS)
Thank you.
That was very clever.
MEL: Excuse me?
I said that was very clever.
The way you got
rid of my mother.
I liked it.
(LAUGHS)
Friends for a night, huh?
Ah, that's really cute.
I think even my sweet,
innocent mother
picked up on that one.
I meant what I said.
Isn't there
some boyhood fantasy
about first the daughter,
then the mother?
I can't remember.
I, uh...
I think you have
the wrong impression
of me, Miss Mahler.
Oh, I don't think so.
Why don't you have a seat?
Not there.
I think we should
talk about Dorothy.
I think you think
I'm a bad mother.
No. I think you think
you're the one that
needs saving right now.
(LAUGHS)
I don't have
a P.I.'s intuition,
Mr. Sampson,
but I do have
a woman's intuition.
And whatever it is
I need right now,
I think you need it too.
If you want
to call it "saving,"
that's all right by me.
You're a beautiful woman,
Miss Mahler.
Don't make me feel stupid.
I don't throw invitations out
like this every day.
Come on, let's have some fun.
I've been cooped up
in this box with
my mother for days.
I can feel the walls
closing in on us.
Don't get smart
with me, peeper.
I'm not smart.
Good.
Then stay dumb.
I'll show you
where to put everything.
There's more than one way
to skin the cat that
got your tongue.
What's the matter?
You don't like 'em?
MEL: I've seen them before.
(STAMMERS)
Not like these you haven't.
I've seen them before.
(MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)
Twenty-one years ago,
there lived a young man
who didn't know what
to do with his life.
I don't need
a bedtime story.
On a whim,
the young man ordered
a correspondence course
that promised to teach him
how to become a private
investigator.
He would sit in a coffee shop
on Melrose Avenue reading
this giant book,
because he couldn't stand
to be alone in his apartment.
Yeah? Cool.
So fucking what?
One day, the big book
suggested an exercise.
In order for him to
practice his tailing skills,
he should pick out
a random stranger
and follow them.
Just then the young man
glanced out the window,
and he saw a beautiful girl
walk by on the street outside.
Jesus, would you
shut the fuck up already?
He left the book behind,
and he ran outside to
catch up with her.
He followed her.
Of course, she didn't
actually live in Hollywood.
It couldn't be that easy.
She lived all the way
in Newport Beach.
Regardless, he continued
following her for days,
and he learned
all about her life.
But on the fifth day
he got reckless.
Before he knew it
she was standing
right next to him
at a jukebox, criticizing
his song selections.
How could I forget
a face like that?
His cover was blown,
and he had no choice
but to embrace the situation.
He introduced himself
with a fake name.
He bought her a drink,
several drinks.
They went back
to her apartment and
they spent the night together.
In the morning,
he got dressed
and slipped away
while she was still sleeping.
He didn't leave a note.
She never saw him again.
You piece of shit.
The next day,
the young man
resumed the tail,
this time being more careful.
(SOBBING)
Over the following months
he watched her body change.
She grew bigger.
(SNIFFLING)
There had been
no other men.
He knew the child
inside her was his.
Goddamn you.
Every day he thought
about going to see her,
to assume
his paternal responsibility.
But the girl's family
was quite wealthy,
and the young man felt
he had nothing of worth
to offer his child,
financial or otherwise.
The girl gave birth
to a daughter,
and she named
the child Dorothy.
He continued to
follow the girl and her baby,
watching Dorothy
grow up from afar...
No, no, stop.
You stop this fucking
fairy tale bullshit!
I don't want to hear it.
Three years ago,
the young man was
not so young anymore.
He was lonely
and full of remorse
and he went to
see his daughter,
who was all grown up.
(MARY CONTINUES SOBBING)
He intended to
tell her who he was
and how sorry he was
for abandoning her,
even though he was
never far away.
But when he finally
spoke to her,
the right words
didn't come out.
Is this how you were
going to tell her?
Like you're...
Like you're some
Prince Charming and...
And she and I are
a couple of fucking frogs?
The man and his daughter
parted ways that night,
and she still didn't know
who the man really was.
Stop, stop, I don't want to
hear one more word of this
once-upon-a-time bullshit.
You look at me in the eye
and you speak to me
in first-fucking-person.
Dorothy called me
three days ago
asking for help.
By the time I got to her
she was dead.
Her body is in
a Los Angeles County morgue.
Downtown.
(GASPING AND SOBBING)
I removed her identification.
You'll need to identify her.
She's listed as a Jane Doe.
(CRYING) You bastard.
I saved this for you.
Her necklace. I thought
she might want you
to have it back.
No, no, you wear it.
You wear it because
your soul is going to need
some religious saving
after everything that you...
That you've done!
(SOBBING AND SNIFFLING)
(HORNS HONKING)
I needed to buy some time
to find the murderers
without the cops
breathing down my neck.
I've found them,
and I intend to kill them
right after I leave here.
I trust you support
that decision.
(CRYING)
I suppose it's the only
parental decision
we'll ever have a chance
to make together.
I called you Barry!
All these years
I called you Barry.
That's such
a stupid fucking name.
I bet you got a great
big laugh out of that.
No.
"Oh. If only
I could find Barry...
"If only, if only Barry knew
that we had a child together,
"then we could...
Then we could be a family."
No. You seemed independent.
I didn't think you would
want me around.
Oh, God, oh, God, you
spend a couple of decades
looking into my window,
and you think
you fucking know me?
I've been putting money aside
for Dorothy since
she was born.
A college fund or something.
You can use the money
to pay for her funeral
expenses if you'd like.
I'm going to be sick.
Why don't you sit down?
No don't touch me.
Please don't touch me.
Just get
the fuck off me, please.
Just...
Please,
don't touch me, please.
Come inside.
(SCREAMS) Please!
Get out! (CRYING)
Get out.
I'm sorry, Mary.
Get... Get out!
(DOOR CLOSES)
There you are,
Mr. Sampson.
I had this thought.
Dorothy hinted to me
that she might make
a trip to San Francisco.
Now I was thinking, the last
time I was there, my cell
phone had terrible reception,
so it's very possible that
that could explain why she
hasn't answered her phone.
Ok, I'll look into it.
But I...
Would you check that out?
I'll look into it.
Mr. Sampson,
I'm talking to you!
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(EXHALES)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey, you sell looseys?
Just give me
a deck of Old Hats.
Yeah, sure.
Thanks.
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHING)
Holy shit!
Did you see that?
Did you fucking see that?
He's out cold.
Yeah.
Of course he is.
I used a sap.
It's leather.
If you use a lead pipe
or some shit you
can fuckin' kill him.
Isn't that what we're
gonna do anyways?
Well, not "we."
You.
Why me?
'Cause I just
fucking sapped him.
It's your turn.
Come on, Matthew.
"Come on, Matthew."
This is your shitty mess.
It's time to clean it up.
Let's just
get out of town
for a while
until it cools off.
(SIGHS)
Why... Why the hell
do you think we tracked
this guy down?
He's a fucking
detective
and he saw you
fleeing the scene.
He's gotta go.
We can move
to another city.
Wha... And do what?
You're a street level
drug dealer.
They give that job to
fourteen-year-old niggers.
What are you gonna do
when you can't
do that anymore?
I mean, you literally
can't wipe your own ass.
I don't want
to go to hell.
(SCOFFS)
Well, you're already
going to hell for
killing that girl.
But I didn't...
Your after-life
is fucked,
so you better
enjoy your life
while you can.
And I don't think
you're going to enjoy
getting your
ass torn open
in prison.
That's why you gotta
shoot this fucker before
he catches up with us.
If this was
all a movie
I could just
give the tape
to the cops,
and they'd understand.
You're dreaming up
some director's cut
that I haven't seen,
because in the movie I saw,
you killed that chick.
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
Holy shit!
Yeah! You did it!
You did it!
Oh, shit dude,
you're going to hell.
Come on. Let's get
the fuck out of here.
(SAMPSON GROANING)
Oh, fuck.
Ah.
(CONTINUES GROANING)
(SPLUTTERS)
(CONTINUES GROANING)
(CHUCKLES)
(CAR DOOR SLAMS)
(ENGINE STARTING)