How should we remember
Darren Mullet?
To his parents he was a beloved son.
To his teachers he was a fine student,
bright and eager to learn.
But to the majority of us he was a friend.
- Bullshit! You fucking hypocrite!
- How dare you? Get him out of here!
You weren't Darren's friends! He didn't
have any! That's why he killed himself!
You killed him!
All of you, you murdered him!
- Agh!
- You're not all the bloody ticket, you.
There's people in there crying. Upset.
Show some respect!
I hope you all rot in hell!
# I'm not afraid to let you kill me
# I know no other way
to fill your hollow bones
# I fade into the shadow with you
# I know
# So dead in love, so dead in love
# Did you hear my heart stop beating?
# Guess it's never enough
No, it's never enough
# Until my heart stops beating
# So dead in love
# So dead in love, so dead in love
# Did you hear my heart stop beating? #
Get in.
The Dick's giving us the afternoon off.
- Gotta love the Dick.
- Oh, yes.
Woo-oo. Woo-oo.
Death is so erogenous.
I wish I was dead.
- Party at Bradley's tonight.
- Hmm.
- You got a problem?
- I think suicide is so beautiful.
Not the way Mullet did it.
You got to slash your wrists.
That boy hanged himself.
How can that be an excuse for a party?
Oh, don't worry, sweetie.
No one was going to invite you.
OK, guys.
I'm going to ask Justine to the party.
Lexy, just 'cause she's Head Girl,
it doesn't mean she gives the best head.
- Oh.
- Yeah?
- Well, I think she's interesting, so...
- Interesting?
- What, you want to give me a kiss?
- No.
No?
- Didn't you used to be friends with him?
- My mother knew his mother.
It was embarrassing.
Your parents think because they have
something in common with someone,
you have to have something
in common with their brats.
I fucking hate that. Fucking hate it.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, who is that?
That's Jason Banks.
He was a friend of Darren Mullet.
- Hey, Justine. Great speech.
- Oh, I didn't think I did him justice.
I haven't got anything
in common with anyone.
- Nor do I.
- I don't either.
- Nor do I.
- Nothing.
- Not a thing in common with anyone.
- Yeah, I said it first.
I think she's quite nice.
Sophie, you think everyone's nice.
The girl's a frigid, kiss-arse bitch.
So a few of us are going
to Bradley's later for a party.
Inappropriate.
She smells really nice.
Why have you started smelling
Justine Fielding?
Why have you started smelling her?
- What? You smell nice.
- Oh, thank you.
- You smell like cabbage.
- What?
- Fucking cabbage?
- Yeah.
Come on, fun will be had.
She's coming to my house
to watch 'Atonement'.
You could do that tomorrow night.
Or next week. Or never.
- Rah!
- I didn't use lube!
And you won't really know anyone.
Bradley, Bradley, Bradley.
Bradley, Bradley.
I think I can hear a whining noise.
No whining noise. Word is there's going
to be a bit of a party at yours later.
Dude, we're at a funeral.
Show some fucking respect.
What the fuck?
The digits.
If anything goes wrong,
I'm on speed dial.
Helena, I wouldn't mind
having some fun for once in my life.
Well.
We have fun.
# If you don't wanna be my best friend
then why am I still in your bed?
# If you can't stand the way I talk
then why am I still here?
# If we can't work it out then how about
getting your stuff and movin' out?
# If we can't be lovers again
# If I don't give you anything
then why are you still hanging on?
# Why are you still hanging on?
Why are you still hanging on?
# If you can't see I'm everything
I'm everything you'll ever need
# You must be out of your head
# I don't know what planet you're on
but I wanna be on it with you
# I don't know where you get off
# I don't know what planet you're on
but I wanna be on it with you
# I wanna be on it with you...
Look like someone
discovered Primark, then?
# If you don't wanna be my best friend
then why am I still in your bed?
# If you can't stand the way I...
Oi, oi, oi, oi. Check this, check this!
uWe got the motherfucking 5- 0 in the crib!/u
Oh! Listen, listen, I'm going to get
old school here for a minute.
# H to the E to the A to the D
# I look with my eyes
Can't believe what I see
# I'm a lyrical gangster
I rap till I choke
# Head Girl here
Can't you see that's a joke? #
- What you saying, blud?
- I invited her, yeah?
Chill out, blud.
What's your problem, bro?
- Have we got a problem, huh?
- No, listen, it's all good.
- Hey, where are you going?
- I knew I shouldn't have come.
Yeah, screw the party.
If we hurry round to Helena's,
we can still catch the movie.
- Have you been upsetting my guests?
- Nah, bro, I was joking. You get me?
- Don't play with the boobs.
- I ain't your fucking bro.
Listen, you lot need to chill out.
It's Darren Mullet's leaving do.
The fat twat is dead.
You gotta drink to that.
You get me? Give me some.
Why the fuck
would you even say that shit to me?
- Bradley, mate, it's me.
- Sort him out.
Mate, come on.
Bradley, it's me, it's Jeremy.
- Come on. Come on, man.
- Shh. Suck my titties!
- Alex, nobody wants me here.
- I do.
Fuck you.
And fuck Darren Mullet as well!
Come on.
# I wanna be on it with you
I wanna be on it with you
# Oh, yeah #
So beautiful.
Keira's going to win the Oscar this year.
Let's watch it again,
with the commentary off this time.
Is there somewhere quiet we can go?
I can't hear you.
Is there somewhere quieter we can go?
- Yeah, yeah, we can go upstairs.
- OK.
OK, good.
Um... this...
...this is Bradley's room. Obviously.
I'm sorry about the artwork.
This probably isn't
how you imagined our first date, but...
Oh, this is a date now?
Yeah, that was the basis
I was working on.
It's a pretty cheap date, Alex.
Yeah, but technically it still qualifies.
We're OK?
- We're not OK.
- We're OK.
Well, if this is a date,
then it does mean at some point
we're going to have to do some kissing.
You know, they're the rules,
I'm as annoyed about it as you are.
- Really?
- Yeah.
And will that be happening
any time soon?
Die, you fucker!
Fucking change weapon.
- Hang on.
- What is it, babes?
Oh, it'll only be Alexis
asking for more muscle
to prise the princess's knees apart.
It's from Mullet.
- Shut up. It's not funny.
- I'm not joking. It's his number.
Well, it'll only be his little friend.
You know, Jizzum Wanks.
You mean Jason Banks?
Oh, isn't... isn't that what I said?
- He says I'm a fucking bitch.
- Obviously knows you, then.
Piss off, Bradley.
Oh, my God.
He says I'm a filthy slag.
'You're a batty boy. '
' You're a batty boy. '
- OK, joke's over.
- 'You're... '
All right, Jizzum Wanks,
you creepy little twat,
tomorrow at school I'm going to
make kebabs out of your nads.
Sweet dreams.
- What did he say?
- Nothing, but I could hear him breathing.
Sorry.
' I'm going to kill you.
' I'm going to kill you.
' I'm going to kill you. '
Someone could walk in on us.
It's just me and you.
Punked, you fuckers.
Hug your pillow. Hug your pillow.
Fuck you, all right? Fuck off.
Mullet?
Mullet? Where you at?
Where you hiding, fool? Sick.
I think we should have a toast to Shrek.
To who?
Darren Mullet, the guy we planted today.
Oh, I can't drink to that.
They didn't mean we're celebrating.
They just... You know, to say goodbye.
- Hmm.
- That's all she meant, Justine.
- Why do you call him Shrek?
- Why do you think?
Because he was big...
and green
and ugly.
Except he wasn't actually
that green, though, was he?
But, fuck me, was he ugly!
Wasn't that the skinny kid
who threw up in assembly?
That's priceless. You spoke at his
funeral and you didn't know who he was.
Well, in that case we should definitely
give him a proper sendoff, right?
Justine, why don't you do the toast?
Er... rest in peace, Darren Mullet.
Lardy Boy.
To Lardy Boy.
Mm.
Mm, rest in piss, bro.
Ah.
Ha-ha-ha.
# One for my homies, one for my blud
One for my jeans...
Paying my respect
the only way I know how.
To Mullet. I bet the only reason
you hung yourself...
...was 'cause
you were trying to get a hard-on.
You were just trying to get wood, boy.
# That's the start,
the middle and the end
# Aren't you glad the universe pretends?
# If I don't get this message honed
once again I'm gonna hate alone
# Ride with me
# Ride with me, ride with me
# Oh, ride with me
# Ride with me, ride with me...
Justine, Jason and I were discussing
his little outburst yesterday.
And while I accept that he was upset
about the loss of his friend...
I didn't lose him. He killed himself.
Unless I hear an apology, I will have
no choice but to contact your parents.
- I'm sorry I called you a hypocrite.
- There, that wasn't so hard, was it?
Thank you, Justine.
'Richard,
Jeremy Prendergast's mother called.
'He went to a party last night
and he hasn't come home. '
If I know Jeremy, he's probably
lying drunk in a gutter somewhere.
'I dare say he'll turn up. '
Hey, Daddy. Hey.
Wait, Jason.
Look, I'm really sorry
about what happened to your friend.
- What was I supposed to say?
- You could have told the truth.
What, with his parents sitting there?
I could hardly say, "I'm sorry,
but I didn't know who he was. "
- You don't even remember him?
- No, I don't.
- He was completely in love with you.
- Don't be stupid, he didn't know me.
Everybody knows you.
You're like Princess fucking Diana
in this dump.
Darren thought the sun
shone out of your arsehole.
If your friend liked me,
why didn't he say anything?
- You'd have laughed in his face.
- No, I wouldn't. I'm not like that.
OK, I'm not blaming you.
It's just is how it is. You keep
to your kind, and we'll keep to ours.
- I don't have a kind.
- Snotty, spoilt bitches. That's your kind.
Yeah, and what's yours?
My kind are the people
you can't quite remember.
Darren would have
wanted you to have this.
Wait, Jason.
'I'm sorry, I can't go on
any more. They won't leave me alone.
'And now Justine has joined in.
'I don't know what I did
to make her hate me.
'She was my angel
and I will watch over her for all eternity.
'Goodbye. Darren. '
Oh, Miss. I'm so sorry.
What had you so enraptured?
Is it a note from your boyfriend?
No, no, it's... it's nothing.
I understand you've been offered
a place to read Law, at Oxford.
- Yeah, I got the letter last week.
- No one deserves it more.
Your contribution to my Citizenship
classes has always been exemplary.
Guys, you know the funeral march,
yeah? Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, yeah?
I'm going to mash it up
with 'Lesbian Roadkill' by Tantric Dwarf.
You know the one, yeah?
"My mom raped me, and I liked it. "
- That is genius.
- You said it, not me.
Oi, Dracula, a word, if you don't mind.
I want that website taken down.
OK, yeah. Yeah, no worries, Brad.
I'll do it later.
I've got some time booked in the pod.
I'm doing this killer track.
I don't give a shit
about your Emo tit-wank.
I want the site down,
and I want it done today.
Because if that ain't, well,
you won't need to self-harm,
'cause I'll be doing it for you.
Clear?
Yeah, I was planning to do it anyway.
A piece of piss, Brad.
Let's go this way.
You should have come to Film Club.
We ate so much chocolate,
we were nearly sick.
Emily was on fire.
We're doing it again tonight.
Oh. Er... maybe.
I don't know.
Don't you say a word.
What fucker wrote this?
Did you?
Was it you?
- No?
- No.
Stand up. Look at me.
Clean it off.
Shut up.
'You're a batty boy.
' You're... '
Jason Banks is a dead man.
You really know how to enjoy yourself,
don't you?
Alex, this is a library.
What are you doing here?
What are you saying?
I practically live here.
That's my buddy Jeff, the librarian.
You all right, Jeff? How's it going?
- His name's Trevor.
- Trevor.
Seriously?
Well, that explains a lot.
Justine, about last night.
You're not to blame
for what Bradley dreams up.
I wasn't talking about Bradley,
I was talking about you.
I think you are moving way too fast.
I felt like I was being pressured.
Seriously, Juss.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I just don't want you to think
that that's what I'm about.
Well, I did have my doubts,
but this swung it for me.
I didn't have you down
as the sentimental type.
What was that?
You like her too, now?
Well, it's too bad. I saw her first.
Yes, I am gonna ask her out
on another date.
OK, but if I made it clear
it wouldn't involve any power tools,
do you think she'd go for it?
- He thinks you're going to say yes.
- Well, he's smarter than he looks.
OK, well, I will leave the two of you
in peace to sort out the details.
Jeff, we should hook up.
Call me.
'Eugh! Your pussy stinks.
' Eugh! Your pussy stinks.
OK, settle down. Settle down.
Macbeth, act three, scene four.
This is the scene
in which Banquo's ghost appears.
- Or does he? Yeah?
- Yes, but only Macbeth can see him.
Yeah. Good, Helena.
But why? Why is this?
The room is full of people but only
Macbeth can see the ghost. Yeah?
Macbeth had Banquo killed
so Banquo's come back to haunt him.
- He only wants to scare Macbeth.
- Possibly.
- Justine?
- Sorry?
Why is it that only Macbeth
can see Banquo's ghost?
Um... well, I think that the ghost
is a figment of Macbeth's imagination.
Exactly, so Macbeth
has repressed his guilt...
- Who's that?
... and the ghost is his conscience
that has come back to haunt him.
Now, how does this relate
to the representation
of the supernatural in the play?
One second, Helena. So, it works
on two levels. So, Heckerty...
Huh? Oh, you want me to take
the site down, do you?
OK. OK, Bradley, yeah, yeah.
No problems. I'll get right round to it.
Right round to it. After a... That!
Karate chop to your neck, huh?
What's that? You can't breathe? How
about a little slap around your cheeks?
Huh, fuck you, Bradley White,
you little bitch, with your little willy.
Huh? I fucking hate you.
I'm worth 100 Bradleys! That's right.
The Nas isn't scared of you.
Ugh!
We're very concerned
that bullying may be a contributory factor
in the incident with the Mullet boy.
That is why I am personally
overseeing the implementation
of a new anti-bullying initiative.
And as the cornerstone
of our new strategy, we are using these.
Visualisations of mission statements
arising from the ethos strand
of the school development programme.
Hey kid, go tell Swanny that
the Head wants to see Jason Banks.
Tell her yourself.
Oi, you cheeky little prick,
do as you're told.
- Kids these days! No fucking respect.
- I blame the schools.
Hmm.
Listen everybody, there is a screw
missing from the guillotine guard,
so it is very, very dangerous.
- Miss.
- Yes?
- The Head wants to see Jason Banks.
- Right.
Well, well, well. If it isn't Jizzum Wanks.
Oh, God's fucking bollocks.
Oh.
Oh. Huh?
Bradley.
Huh!
Hey, Bradley?
Hey, Bradley, that's not funny.
Bradley!
No, no.
Someone, help. Someone, help!
Someone help me!
Help me! Help me! Help me!
Someone!
No, no.
Help me!
We think that it is vital
that young people should have
an outlet for their creative energies.
Well, he certainly
seems to be enjoying his music.
Obviously, it's something
with a good beat.
Where is he?
Must have gone outside.
Tag. You're it.
Fuck me, I'm out of breath.
Now, what I was trying to say was
how sorry I am
that Mullet decided to top himself.
Bit selfish of him, really,
leaving Mr Jizzy No-Mates here.
Not even one fat spaz to call a friend.
You bastard.
Ah, you're a plucky little fucker,
aren't you?
Ah! Now.
Mullet is dead.
Which means
he can't be sending me texts.
I don't think you get a signal up there.
I can't even get a signal in the bogs.
Exactly.
Now, pretending to be Shrek
risen from the dead ain't a bad gag.
Give me his phone
and, er... we'll call it quits.
- I haven't got his phone.
- Jason, Jason, Jason.
You're only hurting yourself, mate.
It's from Mullet.
- It can't be.
- Who's doing this, Brad?
"Who's doing this, Brad?"
How the fuck do I know who's doing it?
Brad, it wasn't him.
I don't give a fuck.
He gets on my tits, anyway.
- What's going on in here, lads?
- Nothing, sir.
Go on, then.
Get back to class, yeah?
See you at training.
So, what are you doing in here?
Sir, they were chasing me.
"Sir, they were chasing me. "
It's always somebody else's fault,
isn't it?
Kids like you make me sick.
Detention, rest of the week.
That's not fair!
I know. Life is not fair, son.
Mullet. Mullet... Mullet's back!
Mullet. Mullet's back.
Mullet's back. Mullet.
Yeah, Mullet, Mullet, Mullet.
Did you get that site down? Yeah?
- Yeah? All right. Cheers.
- Mullet.
- Is it from Mullet?
- Marcus, how many more times?
What's going on?
Someone's texting us
off Darren Mullet's phone.
- Why would they do that?
- Some sicko's idea of a joke.
Everyone back inside now.
It's just an unfortunate mishap.
Well, come on, move!
- I'm sorry. He looked fucking ridiculous.
- Who did?
Oh, touch of hay fever, Jason?
I've had the snuffles myself.
- Problem is you've got a screw missing.
- Yes.
So, I suggest we go and get lunch
and I'll come back
and I'll have it done for you
in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
And how long is that, Mister Humpage?
- Justine, come out and play.
- I can't. I have a governors' meeting.
You're choosing that over me?
- Are you shagging one of them?
- I'm shagging all of them.
How do you think I got to be Head Girl?
This has got to stop. Right now.
OK, I'll end it. But I think I should do it
in person. They've been good to me.
Her Highness
doesn't like to be kept waiting.
Ah! Come on!
You really made me...
I mean, he's a great kid.
I'm sure he'll make a full recovery.
How about a little figgy oatcake
before your tea?
- # I get
- # I get, I get
- # What I own
- # Don't let, don't let
- # The feelings that I choose
- # I choose, I choose
# 'Cause everybody else do...
# Gotta get out of the way
No time for me to stay
# Everyone in the world
don't affect you...
- You OK, Juss?
- Yeah, I didn't sleep too well.
Ah, lying awake thinking about me,
were you?
You wish.
I've just got things on my mind.
What have you got to worry about?
Natasha, we are doing everything
in our power to get this taken down.
No one is to read this.
Don't look at it.
No, you, boy, do not look.
Is it true, though? Are you actually
kicking in her back door?
- That's my girlfriend, you fucking moron.
- I said not to call me that.
- Oh...
- Twat.
Oh, I'll be with you in a minute, OK?
He says I bullied him.
This is creepy, if it's some sort of...
- You think I forged it?
- Well, did you?
I bet you like coming to school,
don't you?
What's that got to do with anything?
You've got no idea
what it's like to be bullied, do you?
Well, I'm sure it's awful.
Darren couldn't escape,
even when he was at home.
They... they sent him texts, and emails.
- And they set up a website.
- A website?
Yeah, can you believe that?
And what's he supposed to do?
You tell a teacher, and they tell the
bullies off, and they come after you.
You tell your parents
and they say stand up for yourself.
Darren couldn't stand up for himself.
So... who bullied him?
Everyone outside, come on.
You know you shouldn't be in here.
Justine?
What were you
and Jason Banks talking about?
Not here.
He gave me this.
- What have we got here?
- Oi.
Ha!
- Fuck me. It's Mullet's suicide note.
- Bradley, don't.
Oh, chillax,
I've never seen one of these before.
Oh, fuck.
He really did love you, didn't he?
Brad, just fucking give it back.
I think you've got
a bit of stiff competition.
I don't think Darren
would have been your type.
- Does he mention any names?
- Um...
Only Justine.
Justine,
have you been bullying Darren Mullet?
Shut up, Tasha.
Can't you see she's upset?
- Do you know who was picking on him?
- Why should we know about it?
You're not accusing us of anything,
right, Justine?
No, she's not.
- I should show this to someone.
- Oh.
Well, that might not be
such a good idea.
- It's got your name on it.
- But I didn't do anything.
- We know that, but he says you did.
- And it is your word against his.
And, uh... since he's dead...
Well, I can't just ignore it.
- You shouldn't have done that.
- It's what friends are for.
'She was my angel
and I will watch over her for all eternity.
'Goodbye. Darren. '
' Help, I'm lost in your ass!
Help, I'm lost in your ass! '
- This is getting really, really old.
- 'Help... '
I'll tell you who it is.
It's that she-male Helena.
Yeah. I heard she said you were
an ugly bitch at the funeral.
- She what?
- And that you had chubby thighs.
Are we going to do
something about this?
Yeah, because it's beginning
to get right up my arse.
- Right up your arse.
- Get off me.
- Helena wouldn't do that.
- Oh, yeah. I forgot.
The two of you
are like bestest bosom buddies.
What are you going to do?
Ask her ever so politely
what the fuck she thinks she's playing at.
Are you coming, or what?
I... I can't, I've got prefect duty.
Oh, God bless you, Mary Poppins.
Sorry.
- God, she's really quiet, isn't she?
- Smells like she's having a poo.
She always smells like that 'cause she's
got her head so far up Justine's arse.
Now, now, Khalilah. We all know
Justine's shit doesn't stink, don't we?
No.
- I bet she's having a wank.
- Eugh, dirty cow.
Hey, Helena are you in
up to the wrist in there?
What do you want?
I want world peace.
I want Prada shoes
and I wanna know why you've been
texting us, you stupid geeky little bitch.
- What are you talking about?
- You sending us texts.
- Why would I?
- Because you're a twisted dyke slut.
- How would I know?
- Why don't you grow up?
Ow! Ow!
Sophie.
Sorry, we're closed. You're just going
to have to cross those little legs.
Ow! No!
- That's mine!
- Look at this piece of shit.
- Must have come from the pound shop.
- Give it back.
It's not like you needed it anyway.
You only need a phone
if you've got friends to talk to.
Oh, and when was the last time
Justine called you, anyway?
'Where have you been? '
I've been looking for Helena.
What did you guys do to her?
Do to her?
Um...
Oh, yeah.
We just asked her if she would please
stop sending those nasty texts.
Yeah, it was kind of upsetting.
- What was Darren to you guys?
- Um... nothing.
Just Shrek.
Big, fat, ugly Shrek.
You really don't remember him?
I don't think so.
He was pretty hard to miss.
He was fucking huge.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What about
last week in the common room
when the guys took his asthma thingy
and he was going,
"Ughh! I can't breathe!"
"I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
"I can't breathe!
I can't breathe, Justine!"
- I'm really glad we can be friends now.
- Me too.
We couldn't before, obviously, 'cause
Tasha said you were an ugly dyke,
but that's not true, is it?
You did surprise us with the Alexis thing.
Are you guys going to have sex tonight?
Sophie,
he's only coming round to watch a film.
Watch a film? He'll be wanting
to have a shag. Boys always do.
If you're nervous,
you could just give him a hand job.
Yeah, it can get really messy, can't it?
No, you're better off just having a shag.
Less cleaning up to do.
Oh, fuck! I forgot my watch again.
OK, I would like to know
all the gory details tomorrow, please.
Good luck, you'll need it.
Thanks.
Hello.
Hi, I can see you.
Are you perving on me? Look,
I'm flattered that you're stalking me...
Mullet? What the fuck?
- For you.
- Thank you.
Al, you're going to hate me
for bringing this up.
OK, so Jason Banks said
there's a website about Darren Mullet?
Yeah. Um...
The site was Bradley's idea.
It... it started out as a joke,
and it just got way out of hand.
Were you involved?
I try not to get mixed up in Bradley's shit
but you know what he's like. He...
The other night with the chainsaw?
- Already on the web.
- I don't want anyone to see that.
Yeah, how do you think I feel?
I'm screaming like a girl.
Yeah, where was my knight
in shining armour?
Yeah, OK.
It wasn't my finest hour
but if it happened for real
I'd protect you.
I promise.
At least we don't have to worry
about Bradley bursting in on us.
I'm just going to check
I locked the back door.
Hey.
So, did you find Bradley?
Hiding in the garden, was he?
I'm sorry.
I'm just a bit nervous.
Really?
Well, you don't need to be.
# Your lights in the tall grass
# Covered in coal
# I'm reaching for you
# Hoping to hold you
# I won't give up
No, I won't give up
# Not until I'm holding you
# I won't lie down, I won't lie down
# Not until I'm holding you... #
Are you OK?
- I had a really nice night.
- Me too.
I can usually
make it last longer than that.
Next time.
I'm joking.
- But seriously.
- No.
No, I was... I'm... I'm joking.
But seriously, I can.
It was good.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Bye.
So, er... did you seal the deal last night?
Might have done.
What did she smell like?
- Did she suck your cock?
- A gentleman doesn't go into details.
Well, I'll take that as a no, then.
Al.
- Head girl on heat alert.
- I had a really lovely time last night.
- You didn't bring me flowers, did you?
- No, was I supposed to?
No, somebody rearranged
the fridge magnets.
- Yeah, I was just fooling around.
- I think someone was in the house.
- Who?
- You didn't let someone in?
No. I wouldn't do that to you, Juss.
Are you two having a...
having a lovers' tiff?
- It was you, wasn't it?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, Bradley, you are so fucking childish.
You better put a muzzle
on that bitch of yours.
- What did you just say?
- Put a muzzle on that bitch of yours.
Bradley, get off, mate. Get off him.
Get off him.
Off him!
Come on, let's get out of here.
Fuck!
I went to visit Naz in hospital
and I took my iPod 'cause I thought
he'd want to listen to some tunes.
And I realised he's like totally deaf.
Now he can't listen to Jodie Phister
or Crying While Wanking
or the Crotch Eating Bears.
He'll never hear any of them ever again.
Twenty mil. Semi counter sunk.
It's just the job.
- Is there a problem, Mr Humpage?
- I've brought the wrong screwdriver.
That's Philips. That's not.
Gordon. Gordon.
- Head down.
- Gordon!
Gordon.
- So, I hear congratulations are in order.
- Gordon!
Well, you popped the Pringle
for sexy Lexy last night, right?
He told you?
Well, he hasn't stopped talking about it
all morning.
Discipline, lads, discipline!
Gordon, I... I thought I'd give everybody
the last two periods off.
It might help to raise the school spirits
after these unfortunate events.
Yeah, right.
Boys, we've got a semifinal Saturday!
What are you doing?
You can't hit a barn door.
- Was it your first time?
- No.
Oh, my God, it was.
Oh, that's so cute.
So... so was it really magical?
Was it really worth waiting for?
Was it over really quickly?
'Cause it was when I did it with him.
Dirty little slut gave me crabs.
I had to shave the panty hamster.
He said he got them from Sophie,
but I think it was the other way round.
Have you seen her?
I've been texting her all day.
No.
Alexis, heel to toe! Come on.
All right, ladies, come on. No one is to
go into the water until I say so, all right?
Lads.
Saturday. Parkside, semifinal.
Big day. This is the ball.
Bradley, I want you to hit him.
Let him know you're there. Early doors.
Show him who's boss, OK?
Where's Marcus?
Mar... Marcus!
Marcus!
It's Shrek!
- It's Mullet! It's Mullet, it's Mullet!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Listen to me. Calm down, boy.
What's the matter with you?
Is this your... is this your idea of trying
to help the team? Team morale?
This is not good for the team, son.
Now, what I want you to do, I want you
to go and have a shower, get changed...
- But, sir, I...
- You've disappointed me a little bit, son.
Now, go and get changed and
come and see me after practice, OK?
- I saw him, sir.
- I'm disappointed in you a little bit. Go.
Go.
I see dead people. I see dead people.
All right, lads, give me the ball.
- I couldn't do anything.
- I want a word with you.
- You've got to come.
- I understand.
- She's face down.
- I understand.
- Please come with me.
- She's probably swimming. Swimming.
'You're a dumb fuck.
' You're a dumb fuck.
' You're a dumb fuck. '
If someone's dicking me about...
Agh! Agh!
Agh! Oh!
You fucker!
Agh!
Die!
Oh. Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Agh! Come on, come on!
Come on.
Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Oh...
Oh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Oh, crap.
So which do you fancy? Keira in
'Atonement' or Keira in 'Doctor Zhivago'?
Emily! Emily! He's trying to rape you!
- Get off her, you pig!
- Agh! Agh! Agh!
The boys in this school
are so disgusting.
- Mullet said he was going to kill them.
- We did treat him like shit.
It's not Darren Mullet. For fuck's sake,
am I the only one who can see this?
You said you didn't do anything.
Nice one, Alex.
You got her to believe that?
I'm proud of you, bro.
- Juss, I can explain it.
- What did that poor boy ever do to you?
You wanna know why we picked on him?
We were bored. He was a spaz.
You do the math.
- I'm so glad I'm not like you.
- Suck my cock, you prissy bitch.
You look down your nose at everyone
but you spread your legs
just like the rest of us.
- Come on.
- Get your hands off me, you slut!
- Bradley, give me a hand!
- None of my business, bro.
Bradley, will you do something?
This isn't over! You're dead!
We're all dead! He's gonna kill us!
He's dead, OK?
He's fucking dead!
And I'm gonna prove it.
- Yeah, right. How you gonna do that?
- I'm gonna dig that fucker up.
Bradley! For fuck's sake.
Bradley?
All right, Mullet, you fat fuck,
let's take a look at you.
Justine.
I want to see this website.
All the harmless fun and games you had.
- You don't want to see it.
- Alex, I really do.
'Now, here we see the lesser
spotted Mullet at feeding time. '
'Mullet! Mullet! '
'Mullet, come on. '
'Get the fat boy! '
'Come on! '
'Come on!
Fight back, Mullet, fight back. Come on.
'Come on. '
Please turn it off.
'Did you get that? Are you getting that? '
'OK, now we need to be very quiet
'because we are here to observe
the courtship rituals of the Mullet.
'Ooh, the Mullet has fallen
for a very rare species.
'Head girlus, frigidus bitchus.
Now, let's see what happens. '
'Come on, big boy. This way.
'Go on, you can do it.
'Oh, he stinks. '
Get off me, you creep.
What's wrong with you?
- What are you doing?
- I'm so sorry, Justine.
- No, it's OK. It's no one.
- Darren, mate, what are you playing at?
That's the Head Girl.
You can look but nobody...
I can't believe
I'm actually going to Oxford.
- This is disgusting. Eugh.
- Eugh.
- Oh, I haven't got it.
- Ah, diddums. Baby gonna cry?
Do you know what? It's so cute when
guys can really show their emotions.
I don't know. You'd better ask Helen.
- Justine, please help me!
- I did just get into Oxford.
Justine, make...
make them give it back to me. Please.
- I'm on the phone. Leave me alone.
- Come on, Darren.
'Darren, look. '
'Breathe, breathe. '
I don't want you in my house any more.
- Juss, I'm not like them, OK?
- No, you're so much worse.
At least Bradley's honest
about who he is.
You don't understand! Nobody ever says
no to Bradley. I didn't have a choice.
Don't you dare touch me!
Just get out of my house!
- Let me explain!
- Alex, get out!
- No, let me explain!
- Get out of my house!
Whoopsy.
Bradley, come on. Shall we just go?
'Cause it's gonna take you hours
to get down to his coffin
and this is a total dick dance.
Why the fuck did Marcus have to die?
And Sophie. And fucking everyone!
Bradley. Hey.
Come on, Brad.
Why is... why is this happening to us?
You tell me why this is
fucking happening to us!
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
Hey. Come here, come here.
Look at you.
Come here.
Fuck Darren Mullet.
OK?
Hm. Come here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, Bradley.
Oh.
Get it in.
Fuck...
Yeah.
Bradley.
Bradley! Bradley!
Bradley, it's... it's Darren Mullet!
Bradley, it's fucking Darren Mullet!
Bradley!
Agh!
Shit!
No!
Tasha.
Tasha.
Tasha.
Tasha. Don't leave me.
Fuck.
Look.
Look, I'm really... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
We shouldn't...
We were just joking around.
And anyway, it was the others
that didn't like you, not me.
I always... I always liked you.
Actually, I kind of...
I kind of fancied you.
I... I wanted to go out with you
but... but I was too scared to ask
and that... that's the truth, OK?
I would have gone out with you...
and... and...
and maybe...
maybe it's not too late!
- Now, that's interesting.
- Guv, I think you should see this.
- What you got?
- A condom. A full one.
- At least he got his rocks off.
- No, Guv.
It's full of his dick.
Fucking spiders, look at that.
...Justine...
Jason.
I came to say I'm sorry.
I saw Darren being bullied
and I didn't do anything to help him.
And I'm starting to think
that maybe it was my fault.
It wasn't you.
It... it was me.
I was the one
that told them he fancied you.
I didn't want them to start on me,
so I set him up. Some friend, huh?
Well, I'm going to go and see the Head.
Tell him what happened to Darren.
It's not going to bring him back.
I need to talk to you.
I don't think we have
anything to discuss.
Look, Alexis turned out to be...
I hate to say I told you so.
Please, Helena.
I need a friend.
Well, you're in luck.
- Do you know where Tasha is?
- No, I don't care.
I've been calling her all morning.
Your friend practically pulled my ear off.
- I'm so sorry.
- You were my best friend.
Justine, it's OK,
Tasha wants to meet me in the art room.
What? I've just...
I've just come from there.
Look, I haven't changed,
I'm still the same old Justine.
Maybe that's the problem. The only
person you care about is yourself.
- That's not fair.
- It's not, is it?
Emily.
I'm sorry, Darren. I know I let you down.
I'm so sorry, I was just so scared.
- We found it by the bodies.
- I dare say there is an explanation.
We think it got ripped off in the struggle.
Tash?
Where are you?
That doesn't look like me.
Justine.
Come here.
- What's that for?
- I need it to protect us.
- Protect us from what?
- From Mullet.
You're scaring me.
- Bradley and Tasha, they're both dead.
- No, they're not.
They're in pieces, Justine.
He's cut them into bits.
Stop it. They're not dead.
- Tasha's in the art room.
- You saw her?
No, well, she sent Kally a text
telling her to meet her there.
- Where are you going?
- To kill Darren Mullet.
What did I ever do to you?
'Fight, fight, fight! Fight, fight, fight!
'Fight, fight, fight, fight!
Fight, fight, fight! '
Fight, fight, fight, fight,
fight, fight, fight!
- Fight back, you bitch!
- Oh-ho! Back of the net!
Fight, fight, fight!
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
Come on, then, Mullet, you spaz.
Getting beaten up by a girl, are we?
Here, just give me your face.
'Fight, fight, fight!
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
'Fight, fight, fight!
It was just happy slapping.
Please, no. Please. No, please.
This is crazy.
He's gonna kill her, Justine.
Don't you understand?
- Tell someone I need help.
- Do your own dirty work.
Hello?
Help me, please, somebody!
Stay off this line. We don't have time
for silly games today, young lady!
Where are the pupils
we want to speak to?
Oh, my God. Kally.
- Alex, phone an ambulance.
- It's too late, he's already here.
It wasn't Darren Mullet!
Just phone an ambulance!
- But it was him.
- No, it wasn't, Alex. He's dead.
I know that, Juss.
- But he's standing right behind you.
- Oh, God.
- Darren?
- Darren, mate.
I'm sorry, OK? It was a joke.
Can't you take a fucking joke?
- Help! Help us!
- Oi!
Die!
Run!
Window.
What are we going to do?
It wasn't all lies, you know.
The things that I said to you,
they weren't all lies.
I know.
Aaah!
Alex, smash it!
What's the matter, Mullet?
Having trouble breathing?
Alex, come on. Let's get out of here.
Not so hard now, are you?
Oh, shit.
Run, Justine, go!
Darren, no! Please don't hurt him.
I let you down. I was the one
that should have helped you.
Oh, no!
Justine.
Help me.
Help me.
I see you, Darren.
Is that what you wanted?
And you know what?
You do look like fucking Shrek!
Justine. What have you done?
Can any of you boys
tell me
why that stupid little bitch
had to kill all my best players?
I mean, why couldn't she have done us
all a favour and killed you lot instead?
Hey?
Out you go.
Keep your discipline.
Let's get 'em.
Oi.
Oi!
Why aren't you changed
with the others? Have you got a note?
'Cause if you haven't got a note,
you can get yourself ch...
Dear Mr Ramsey,
Darren can't do games today
because he is dead.
What is this, a joke, son? Is this meant
to be funny? Because if you've...
Oh, fuck.
# Bam-chick-a-bam
Chick-a-boom-boom-boom
# Sha-lang-sha-lang-boom
Sha-lang-sha-long-boom
# Bam-chick-a-bam
Chick-a-boom-boom-boom
# Sha-lang-sha-lang-boom
# Monster hospital
# Can you please release me?
# You hold my hands down
# I've been bad
# You hold my arms down
# I've been bad
# I've been bad
# I've been bad
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# I fought the war but the war won
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# I fought the war but the war won
# Monster movie
# Daddy Warbucks
up against Bobby Fuller
# And he beat him hands down.
# Lead in his head
# They put a little lead in
# In his head
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# I fought the war but the war won
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# I fought the war but the war won't stop
for the love of God
# I fought the war, I fought the war
but the war won
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# I fought the war but the war won't stop
for the love of God
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# But the war won't stop
for the love of God
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# But the war won't stop
for the love of God
# I fought the war
I fought the war but the war won
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# I fought the war but the war won't stop
for the love of God
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# But the war won't stop
for the love of God
# I fought the war, I fought the war
# But the war won #