Before time began, there was the Cube.
We know not where it comes from,
only that it holds the power
to create worlds and fill them with life.
That is how our race was born.
For a time, we lived in harmony,
but like all great power,
some wanted it for good, others for evil.
And so began the war,
a war that ravaged our planet
until it was consumed by death,
and the Cube was lost
to the far reaches of space.
We scattered across the galaxy,
hoping to find it and rebuild our home,
searching every star, every world.
And just when all hope seemed lost,
message of a new discovery drew us
to an unknown planet called Earth.
But we were already too late.
Oh, God, five months of this.
I can't wait to get a little taste of home.
A plate of mama's alligators touffe.
You've been talking
about barbecued 'gators and crickets
for the last two weeks. I'm never going
to your mama's house, Fig. I promise.
But Bobby, Bobby, 'gators are known
to have the most succulent meat.
I understand.
English, please. English.
I mean, how many times have we...
We don't speak Spanish. I told you that.
Why you got to ruin it for me, man?
That's my heritage.
Go with the Spanish. Whatever.
Hey, you guys remember weekends?
Huh? The Sox at Fenway.
- Cold hotdog and a flat beer.
- Perfect day.
What about you, Captain?
You got a perfect day?
I just can't wait to hold my baby girl
for the first time.
- He's adorable.
- That's too...
Shut up!
Hey, I'm ready to do this.
Hey, any of y'all grow some balls,
come see me on the court, man.
Hey, hey!
Watch this crossover, baby.
Like Jordan in his prime,
pushing through the front line.
- Step aside, ladies.
- Oh, man. What?
- Lennox!
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Water?
- Thank you.
Are you gonna help me with the gear?
Colonel Sharp, we have an inbound
unidentified infiltrator, 10 miles out.
Unidentified aircraft, you are
in restricted US military airspace.
Squawk ident and proceed east
out of the area.
Raptors one and two, snap to heading
two-five-zero to intercept.
Bogie is in the weeds ten miles out,
not squawking.
Unidentified aircraft, we will escort you
to US SOCCENT airbase.
If you do not comply,
we will use deadly force.
Copy the bogie.
Tail 4500 X-ray.
Sir, says here 4500 X
was shot down three months ago.
- Afghanistan.
- That's got to be a mistake.
- Check again, then recheck.
- I did, sir.
A friend of mine was on that chopper.
Unidentified aircraft, we will escort you
to US SOCCENT airbase.
- Radar, where's the inbound?
- Bogie's five miles out, sir.
- My wife on?
- Yes, Captain.
- My ladies!
- Look.
Oh, my goodness. Look at her.
She's getting so big.
Look at those cheeks.
I just wanna chew on them.
Baby, we made a good-looking kid.
I know that people say that all the time,
but, wow, we made
one good-looking kid. Nice work.
She has your laugh.
- She laughed?
- Her first one, yeah.
You sure she didn't just fart?
No, she's a lady.
She doesn't know you yet, but she will.
Bogie's on the deck.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Radar's jammed.
It's coming from the chopper.
- Will?
- Sarah?
Hey, Sarah, if you can hear me,
I love you and I'll be home soon.
- To the right. Go to the right.
- Check fire.
MH-53 pilot, power down now.
Have your crew step out
or we will kill you.
Hold your fire! Stand by to engage!
My God.
They bombed the antenna farm!
We're under attack!
Go! Move! Move!
It's going after the files!
Cut the hard lines!
I need a key! It's locked!
Move! Move!
Here, come here! Come here!
Here, hide in here!
Oh, my God. Okay.
No!
Oh!
What the...
Epps, let's go!
Okay, Mr. Witwicky, you're up.
Sorry, I got a lot of stuff.
Watch.
Okay.
For my family...
Who did... Who did that?
People! Responsibility.
Okay.
So, for my family genealogy report,
I decided to do it
on my great-great-grandfather,
who was a famous man,
Captain Archibald Witwicky.
Very famous explorer.
In fact, he was one of the first to explore
the Arctic Circle, which is a big deal.
In 1897, he took 41 brave sailors
straight into the Arctic Shelf.
Move faster, men! Move! Chop! Heave!
The ice is freezing faster than
it's melting! Chop faster! Heave, men!
Heave! No sacrifice, no victory!
We'll get to the Arctic Circle, lads!
So that's the story, right?
And here we have some of
the basic instruments and tools
used by 19th-century seamen.
This here is the quadrant,
which you can get for 80 bucks.
It's all for sale, by the way.
Like the sextant here.
$50 for this, which is a bargain.
These are pretty cool.
These are my grandfather's glasses.
I haven't quite gotten them appraised
yet, but they've seen many cool things.
Are you going to sell me his liver?
Mr. Witwicky, this isn't show and sell.
It's the 11th grade.
I don't think your grandfather would be
particularly proud of what you're doing.
I know. I'm sorry. I just, you know,
this is all going towards my car fund.
You can tell your folks. It's on eBay.
I take PayPal.
Cold hard cash works, too.
And the compass makes a great gift
for Columbus Day.
- Sam!
- Sorry.
Unfortunately,
my great-great-grandfather,
the genius that he was, wound up
going blind and crazy in a psycho ward,
drawing these strange symbols
and babbling on about
some giant ice man
that he thought he'd discovered.
Okay. Might be a pop quiz tomorrow.
Might not.
- Sleep in fear tonight.
- Here, you want? Here, 50. 40? 30?
- Sam?
- Yeah. Sorry, sorry.
Okay. Pretty good, right?
I'd say a solid B-.
A B-?
You were hawking
your great-grandfather's crap
- in my classroom.
- No, kids enjoy...
- Look, can you do me a favor?
- What?
Can you look out the window
for a second? You see my father?
- He's the guy in the green car.
- Yeah.
Okay, I wanna tell you about a dream.
A boy's dream.
And a man's promise to that boy.
He looked at me in the eye.
He said, "Son, I'm gonna buy you a car.
"But I want you to bring me $2,000
and three As."
Okay? I got the 2,000 and I got two As.
Okay? Here's the dream. Your B-.
Dream gone. Kaput.
Sir, just ask yourself,
what would Jesus do?
Yes! Yes, yes.
So?
A-. It's an A, though.
Wait, wait, wait. I can't see. It's an A.
- So I'm good?
- You're good.
- I got a little surprise for you, son.
- What kind of...
Yeah, a little surprise.
No. No, no, no, no. Dad!
- Oh, you got to be kidding me.
- See?
Yeah. I am.
You're not getting a Porsche.
- You think that's funny?
- Yeah, I think it's funny.
- What's wrong with you?
- You think I'd really get you
a Porsche for your first car?
I don't want to talk to you
for the rest of this whole thing.
- Oh, come on. It's just a practical joke.
- It's not a funny joke.
- Manny!
- What?
Get your cousin out of
that damn clown suit.
He's having a heat stroke again.
Scaring white folks.
I'm hot! Makeup's melting.
It hurts my eyes.
Here? No, no, no, what is this?
You said... You said half a car,
not half a piece of crap, Dad.
When I was your age, I'd have been
happy with four wheels and an engine.
Okay, let me explain
something to you. Okay?
- You ever see 40-Year-Old Virgin?
- Yeah.
Okay, that's what this is.
And this is 50-year-old virgin.
- Okay.
- You want me to live that life?
- No sacrifice, no victory.
- Yeah, no victory. You know, I got it.
- The old Witwicky motto, Dad.
- Right.
Gentlemen.
Bobby Bolivia, like the country,
except without the runs.
How can I help you?
Well, my son here,
looking to buy his first car.
- You come to see me?
- I had to.
That practically makes us family.
Uncle Bobby B, baby. Uncle Bobby B.
- Sam.
- Sam, let me talk to you.
Sam, your first enchilada of freedom
awaits underneath one of those hoods.
Let me tell you something, son.
A driver don't pick the car.
The car'll pick the driver.
It's a mystical bond
between man and machine.
Son, I'm a lot of things,
but a liar's not one of them.
Especially not in front of my mammy.
That's my mammy. Hey, Mammy!
Don't be like that.
If I had a rock, I'd bust your head, bitch.
I tell you, man, she deaf, you know?
Well, over here, every piece of car
a man might want or need.
This ain't bad.
- This one's got racing stripes.
- Yeah.
It got racing...
Yeah, what's this?
What the heck is this?
I don't know nothing about this car.
- Manny!
- What?
What is this? This car! Check it out!
I don't know, boss! I've never seen it!
That's loco!
Don't go Ricky Ricardo on me, Manny!
Find out!
Feels good.
- How much?
- Well,
considering the semi-classic nature
of the vehicle,
with the slick wheels
and the custom paint job...
- Yeah, but the paint's faded.
- Yeah, but it's custom.
It's custom faded?
Well, this is your first car.
I wouldn't expect you to understand.
- Five grand.
- No, I'm not paying over four. Sorry.
Kid, come on, get out. Get out the car.
No, no, no.
You said cars pick their drivers.
Well, sometimes they pick a driver
with a cheap-ass father. Out the car.
Now, this one here
for four Gs is a beaut.
There's a Fiesta with racing stripes
over there.
No, I don't want a Fiesta
with racing stripes.
This is a classic engine right here.
I sold a car the other day...
Gee. Holy cow.
- No, no, no. No worries.
- You all right?
I'll get a sledgehammer and knock
this right out. Hey, hey, Manny!
Get your clown cousin
and get some hammers
and come bang this stuff out, baby!
...greater than man...
That one's my favorite,
drove all the way from Alabammy.
$4,000.
Steve.
Hello, Mr. Secretary.
They're so young.
They're the top
subject matter experts, sir.
NSA's recruiting right out of
high school these days.
Guys, that's the Secretary of Defense.
I am so underdressed.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Secretary of Defense.
Please be seated.
I'm John Keller.
Obviously, you're wondering
why you're here, so these are the facts.
At 1900 local time yesterday,
the SOCCENT Forward Operations
Base in Qatar was attacked.
So far as we know,
there were no survivors.
The objective of the attack
was to hack our military network.
We're not sure
exactly what they're after,
but we do know that
they were cut off during the assault,
which would lead us to assume
that they're going to try it again.
Now, no one's taken responsibility
for the attack.
And the only real lead we have so far
is this sound.
That's the signal
that hacked our network.
NSA's working at full capacity
to analyze it
and intercept further communications,
but we need your help
to find out who did this.
Now, you've all shown considerable
ability in the area of signals analysis.
We're on a hair-trigger here, people.
The President has dispatched
battle groups
to the Arabian Gulf and Yellow Sea.
This is as real as it's ever gonna get.
Now I'm gonna leave you
to your officer-in-charge.
You'll break up into teams
and you'll start your work.
Good luck to us all.
All right, Mojo. I got the car.
Now I need the girl.
I need money to take out the girl
is what I need.
Zero bids.
Great. Broke.
Come on, Mojo.
You want your pain pills?
No. Premature.
Good. What's up?
Nothing. You know, just driving my car.
Driving my car.
It's like clockwork.
All right, I know you get wasted
on these things,
but if you piss in my bed again,
you're sleeping outside. Okay?
That's it for today. No more. Crackhead.
- Ron, this one is uneven.
- Yeah. Probably.
This one is wobbly.
- Yeah. I'll take care of that real soon.
- Couldn't we have hired a professional?
- Sam...
- What?
I do not like footprints on my grass.
- What foot... There's no footprints.
- That's why I built my path.
So why don't you go from my grass
onto my path, okay?
- It's family grass, Dad.
- Well, when you own your own grass,
- you'll understand.
- This... I can't do it anymore.
- You're putting girl jewelry on a boy dog.
- What?
He's got enough self-esteem issues
as a Chihuahua, Mom.
That's his bling.
I want you home at 11:00!
- Yeah, all right.
- 11:00!
Please, for the love of God, drive safely.
Seat belt on!
Wow. You are so cheap.
Well, it's his first car.
Supposed to be like that.
At this time, we can't confirm
whether there were any survivors.
Oh, my God.
Our bases worldwide are, as of now,
at DEFCON Delta,
our highest readiness level.
We're dealing with
a very effective weapons system
that we have not come across before.
But our prayers are with the families
of the brave men and women...
Honey, Daddy's gonna be okay.
I've never seen a weapons system
like this.
The thermal shows this weird aura
around the exoskeleton
like it's cloaked
by some kind of invisible force field.
That's impossible. There's no
such thing as invisible force fields
except in, like, comic book stuff, right?
- Man, I don't know.
- What is that?
My mama, she had the gift, you know?
She saw things. I got the gene, too,
and that thing that attacked us?
I got a feeling it ain't over.
How about you use
those magic voodoo powers
and get us the hell out of here, huh?
When I took that picture,
I think it saw me.
It looked right at me.
All right, we got to get this thing
back to the Pentagon right away.
They got to know what
we're dealing with here.
My radio's fried.
- I got no communication with aerial.
- Hey, Mahfouz.
- How far do you live from here?
- Not far. Just up that mountain.
- Do they have a phone?
- Yes.
All right, let's hit it.
Dude, are you sure
we're invited to this party?
Of course, Miles.
It's a lake. Public property.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, dude, Mikaela's here.
Just don't do anything weird, all right?
- I'm good, right?
- Yeah, you're good.
Okay.
Hey, guys, check it out.
Oh, hi.
Hey, bro. That car. It's nice. Hey.
So, what are you guys doing here?
We're here to climb this tree.
I see that. It looks... It looks fun.
- Yeah.
- You know, I thought I recognized you.
You tried out for the football team
last year, right?
Let's go call your mom.
Oh, no, no, that... No.
That wasn't like a real tryout.
I was researching a book I was writing.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Yeah? What's it about?
Sucking at sports?
No, it's about the link between
brain damage and football.
No, it's a good book.
Your friends'll love it.
You know, it's got mazes in it and,
you know, little coloring areas,
sections, pop-up pictures.
It's a lot of fun.
That's funny.
Okay, okay. You know what? Stop.
Hey, guys, I know of a party.
Let's go, let's head.
You got to get out
of the tree right now. Get...
Just get out of the tree
right now, please.
What are you doing?
Did you see that dismount?
All the chicks were watching.
You're making me look like an idiot.
We both looked like idiots just now.
- Hey, how about you let me drive?
- Oh, no. No, no, no. This is not a toy.
These 22s, I don't want you
grinding them. No.
Why doesn't my little bunny
just hop in the back seat?
God, I can't even tell you how much
I'm not your little bunny.
Okay.
You'll call me.
Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?
Hey, man, what's wrong
with your radio?
- I'm gonna drive her home tonight.
- What?
She's an evil jock concubine, man.
Let her hitchhike.
She lives 10 miles from here, okay?
It's my only chance.
You got to be understanding
here, all right?
All right. We'll put her in the back.
I'll be quiet.
- Did you say, "Put her in the back"?
- I called shotgun.
I'm not putting her in the back.
You got to get out of my car.
- That's a party foul.
- What rules?
Bros before hos.
Miles, I'm begging you to get out
of my car. Okay?
You can't do this to me.
You got to get out of my car right now.
Who's gonna come around
when you break?
Mikaela! It's Sam.
Witwicky.
I hope I didn't get you
stranded or anything.
You sure?
So, listen, I was wondering
if I could ride you home.
I mean, give you a ride home
in my car, to your house.
There you go.
So...
I can't believe that I'm here right now.
You can duck down if you want.
I mean, it won't hurt my feelings.
Oh, no, no, no.
I didn't mean here with you.
I just meant here, like, in this situation,
this same situation that I'm always in.
'Cause, I don't know, I guess I just
have a weakness for hot guys,
for tight abs and really big arms.
Big arms?
Well, there's a couple new additions
in the car.
Like, I just put in that light there.
And that disco ball. And so the light
reflects off the disco ball.
Yeah.
Are you new to school this year?
It's your first year here?
Oh, no, no.
We've been in the same school
since first grade.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, a long time.
Well, do we have any classes together?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Really? Which?
History. Language arts. Math. Science.
- Sam.
- Sam. Yeah.
- Sam Wilkicky.
- Witwicky.
God, you know what? I'm so sorry.
I just...
- No, it's cool.
- I just didn't recognize you.
Yeah, well, I mean,
that's understandable.
No, no, no. No. Come on.
Sorry, I'm just working out the kinks.
You know, it's a new car.
When I get that feeling
I want sexual healing
This radio is, like, you know...
It's an old radio, too, so...
Sexual healing
Look, this isn't something that I,
you know...
I can't get this radio to stop.
Look, I wouldn't try this on you.
'Cause this is like a romantic thing
that I'm not trying to do.
Not that you're not worthy
of trying something like this on.
- No, of course not.
- I'm a friend of yours.
I'm not a romantic friend.
Romantic friends do this.
I mean, I'm not that friend.
I mean, we... I could be.
I feel good
Just pop the hood.
Stupid. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Whoa, nice headers.
You've got a high-rise
double-pump carburetor.
That's pretty impressive, Sam.
Double-pump?
It squirts the fuel in
so you can go faster.
I like to go faster.
And it looks like
your distributor cap's a little loose.
Yeah? How'd you know that?
My dad. He was a real grease monkey.
He taught me all about this.
I could take it all apart, clean it,
put it back together.
That's weird.
I just wouldn't peg you for mechanical.
Oh, my God.
Well, you know,
I don't really broadcast it.
Guys don't like it when you know
more about cars than they do.
Especially not Trent. He hates it.
Yeah, no, I'm cool with, you know,
females working on my engine.
I prefer it, actually.
- Okay. You want to fire it up for me?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, no problem.
- Thanks.
- You know, I was thinking.
You know, if Trent's such a jerk,
why do you hang out with him?
You know what? I'm just...
I'm gonna walk.
Good luck with your car.
All right.
Walking's healthy, right?
Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on, please.
Please, you gotta work for me now.
Don't let her walk away. Come on,
come on, come on. Please, please.
Baby come back
any kind of fool could see
Hey!
There was something
in everything about you
Baby come back
you can blame it all on me
Hey!
Wait a second!
I was wrong
and I just can't live without you
There it is.
I had fun.
So, you know, thanks for listening.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- You... You think I'm shallow?
I think you're... No, no, no.
I think there's a lot more
than meets the eye with you.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right, I'll see you at school.
All right.
That's stupid.
That was a stupid line.
"There's more than meets
the eye with you." Stupid.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God. I love my car.
Hey, guys, I think the other team
figured it out. Iran.
Come on, man. This is way too smart
for Iranian scientists.
- Think about it.
- What do you think, kid? Chinese?
No way. This is nothing like
what the Chinese are using.
This is Air Force One.
Level of flight, level three-three-zero.
We will hunt down this enemy.
And when we do,
we'll know just what to do with them.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Apparently, there are
very few survivors.
Yes, Mr. President?
Yeah, can you wrangle me up
some Ding Dongs, darling?
I joined the Air Force to bring the man
Ding Dongs. I'll be in storage.
Shoot.
Gross.
Do you hear that?
Are you getting this?
I think they're hacking
the network again.
Oh, my God. This is a direct match
to the signal in Qatar.
- Are you running a diagnostic?
- Should I be?
- Yes, you should.
- So I am.
Someone!
They're hacking into Air Force One!
We need a senior analyst.
- I think they're planting a virus.
- A virus?
- It's streaming right now.
- They are planting a virus
and stealing a whole lot of data
from your system at the same time.
Code Red. We have a breach.
Air Force One, someone onboard
has breached the military network.
I'm in the cargo hold. Clear. Clear.
- You got to cut the hard lines.
- What?
- Whatever they want, they are getting it.
- Sir?
Permission to take down
the Defense Network.
- Cut all server hard lines now.
- Cut all server hard lines now.
Someone's tampered
with the POTUS mainframe.
What the...
Shots fired in the underdeck.
Repeat, shots fired.
Crew, prepare for emergency descent.
I want our President in that bunker.
And I don't want to discuss a damn
thing other till that becomes reality.
That's our first priority.
That's our only priority right now.
Air Force One is on the ground.
Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
That's my car!
No!
No, no, no, no.
Dad, call the cops!
Where you going with my car, buddy?
Where you going?
Hello? 911 emergency!
My car has been stolen!
I'm in pursuit! Right?
I need all units, the whole squadron.
Bring everyone!
No, don't ask me questions, all right?
My father's the head
of the neighborhood watch!
Oh, my God.
My name is Sam Witwicky.
Whoever finds this, my car is alive,
okay? You saw that?
Since this is my last words on Earth,
I just wanna say, Mom, Dad, I love you,
and if you find Busty Beauties
under my bed, it wasn't mine.
I'm holding it for Miles.
No, no, wait that...
Okay, that's not true. It's mine
and Uncle Charles gave it to me.
I'm sorry. Mojo, I love you.
No! No! No! No!
Oh, my God.
No, you're a good dog!
Good dog! Good dog!
Oh, my God.
Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! All right! Oh!
No! No!
Okay. Please, please don't kill me!
I'm sorry! Take the keys!
I don't want them! Car's yours!
Listen, listen, listen.
- Good, you're here.
- Let me see your hands!
- No, no, no! It's not me!
- Let me see your hands.
- The guy's inside.
- Shut up! Walk towards the car.
Put your head on the hood.
Whoever did this finally managed
to infiltrate our defense network,
which is what they tried to do in Qatar,
only this time it worked.
- What did they get?
- We still don't know.
- Talk to me about the virus.
- It's a Spider-bot virus.
We're not sure what it's going to do,
but it may cripple the system.
- Can we stop it?
- Every time we try an antivirus,
it adapts and speeds up.
It's like it's not a virus anymore.
It's become the system.
Obviously the first phase
of a major attack against the US.
The only countries
with this kind of capability
are Russia, North Korea, maybe China.
- I'm sorry, that's not correct.
- Excuse me, young lady.
I didn't see you standing there.
You would be who?
I'm just the analyst
who detected the hack.
Hold on. It was you? You did it?
- Her team.
- Sir, I was just trying to say,
they hacked your firewall in 10 seconds.
Okay. Even a supercomputer
with a brute force attack
would take 20 years to do that.
Maybe you can explain, then,
how our latest satellite imagery
shows North Korea
doubling its naval activity.
Maybe it's a precaution,
because isn't that what we're doing?
The signal pattern is learning.
It's evolving on its own.
And you need to
move past Fourier transfers
and start considering
quantum mechanics.
There is nothing on Earth that complex.
What about an organism?
A living organism?
Maybe some kind of
DNA-based computer?
- And I know that that sounds crazy...
- That's enough. That's enough.
We have six floors of analysts
working on this thing.
Now, if you can find proof to back up
your theory,
I'm gonna be happy to listen to you.
But if you don't get a filter
on that brain-mouth thing, you're gonna
be off the team. You understand?
Look, I can't be any clearer
than how crystal clear I am being.
- It just stood up.
- It just stood up.
Wow. That's really neat.
Okay, chiefie.
Time to fill her up. And no drippy-drippy.
What are you rolling?
Whippets? Goofballs?
A little wowie sauce with the boys?
- No, I'm not on any drugs.
- What's these?
Found it in your pocket. "Mojo."
Is that what the kids are doing now?
Little bit of Mojo?
- Those are my dog's pain pills.
- You know, a Chihuahua. A little...
What was that?
You eyeballing my piece, 50 Cent?
You wanna go?
Make something happen. Do it.
'Cause I promise you I will bust you up.
Are you on drugs?
Let's hope this telephone line works.
Hey, heads up!
Heads up! Hey! Heads up!
What the heck was that?
English, dude. English.
Whoa!
Watch out!
- Open fire!
- Contact! Contact!
Everybody, quiet. Settle.
Whoa, mother... What the hell is...
Get up! Get up! Come on!
Go! Move it!
Take cover!
Fig! Cover the rear!
Cover fire! Move it! Fig, cover the rear!
Epps! Cover the rear! Move it!
Come on! Give me a mag!
Where's your papa?
Where's your papa?
Papa!
Sir, we need... I need a telephone.
- Telephone, telephone, yes!
- Telephone!
Hey, I need a mag! Give me a mag!
- Cell phone!
- I don't know how to thank you.
Fire!
This is an emergency Pentagon call!
I need you to... Do you understand?
It's an emergency Pentagon...
I don't have a credit card!
Sir, the attitude is not going to speed
things up any bit at all.
I'm going to ask you to speak
into the mouthpiece very clearly.
I'm in the middle of a war!
This is frigging ridiculous!
Ammo!
I need a credit card!
- Epps! Where's your wallet?
- Pocket!
- Which pocket?
- My back pocket!
- You got 10 back pockets!
- Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek!
All right, keep shooting! Keep shooting!
Okay, it's Visa.
Also, sir, have you heard about
our premium plus
world-service gold package?
No, I don't want a premium package!
Epps! Pentagon!
Give me a status.
Sir, we're tracking a Special Ops team
under fire in Qatar.
They say they're survivors
of the base attack.
Survivors?
I ain't never seen this in my life!
Need gunships on station ASAP!
Predator's coming up in a minute.
We're linking the call
to the nearest AWACS.
Unknown, man. I don't...
Man, if you seen this shit...
Predator ETA two minutes.
Hey! Make way!
- What is that?
- I don't know.
We need air support
and we need it now.
Roll in strike package Bravo
on unknown target.
I authenticate Tango Whiskey
at time 0300 Zulu.
Attention, all aircraft. This will be
a danger close-fire mission.
Weapons, I just got a call
from Falcon Ops.
Who's closer to Kill Box One Alpha?
- Send the Hogs, sir.
- Okay, send the Hogs over
to Kill Box One Alpha.
It's a danger close...
Switch the Hogs to Kill Box One Alpha,
Friendlies in the area.
Seven-man team
north of orange smoke!
Received Kill Box One Alpha.
Engage hostile.
Attack direction west!
You're clear and hot!
Strike, tell me status of Hog right now.
Hog One-One Dark Star status.
- Lennox! The heat's coming!
- Laze the target!
We got a beam-rider incoming!
Laze target!
- Ready! Heat's coming!
- What? Bring it!
Receiving radar jamming
in vicinity of target.
No frigging way
that thing's still not down.
Spooky Three Two, use 105 shells.
Bring the rain.
Be advised, ground team is requesting
Did we lose them?
Warthog One confirm visual
on friendlies.
Where's Fig?
- Fig? Fig?
- Oh, God!
- God damn it!
- Get a medic!
Get a medic!
- I'm sorry.
- Black Hawk...
We'll get a medic. Just hold on.
He's got a pulse.
We need a medevac. One man down.
Patient care category urgent.
Bring them home.
You get those men stateside right now.
I want them debriefed in 10 hours.
There's only one hacker in the world
who can break this code.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Stop!
I am sorry to bother you.
- Maggie?
- Listen, I need your help.
No! This is my private area,
my place of Zen and peace.
- Listen to me.
- Glen! Who is it?
Shut up, Grandma!
- What are you doing here?
- Just give me a break, will you, please?
Grandmama! Drink your prune juice!
- What level are you on, man?
- Six.
Oh, here come the matrix!
Here come the matrix!
Glen, seriously, don't you
want to see something classified?
Yeah. Get low.
- Here we go. Here we go. Double tap.
- Hey, I just paused it. I just paused it.
Hey. I need a moment.
- Please.
- Sorry.
Hey, man, save my game.
How classified?
Like "I will go to jail for the rest of
my life for showing you" classified.
Yes! One quick peek.
Special Ops got a thermal snapshot
of whatever hit the base in Qatar.
- I want to see it.
- Well, the imager was damaged, sir.
The rangers are en route
with the imager,
but we also have a security issue.
Circle logs indicate one of
the analysts made a copy
of the network intrusion signal.
The signal strength is through the roof.
Where did you say you got this?
It hacked the national military
air-guard frequency
in less than a minute.
- No way.
- Yeah.
Looks like there's a message embedded
in the signal. Let me work my magic.
"Project Iceman"?
- What's Sector Seven?
- Who is Captain Witwicky?
Are you playing
those video games again?
Cops! Cops!
FBI! Clear right!
Lock it down! Lock it down!
Cops!
Lock it down.
Wait! I'm just a cousin! I'm just a...
Get off my Grandmama's carpet!
She don't like nobody on the carpet!
Especially police!
It was an awesome spectacle here
an hour ago
when over 40 C-17 s lifted off
of this very base.
We're not told where they're going.
Morning, Mo.
The government has been very quiet
about what's going on but in our...
- Mojo. Mojo.
- They were headed directly
towards North Korea.
Stop with the barking, Mojo.
It's too early. Please?
Miles? Miles, listen to me. Listen.
- My car, it stole itself, okay?
- What are you talking about, man?
Satan's Camaro. In my yard.
It's stalking me.
Stop!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God!
Sam?
Hi.
That was... That was really awesome.
- Well, it felt awesome.
- Are you okay?
I'm not okay, all right?
I'm losing my mind a little bit.
I'm getting chased by my car right now.
I got to go.
You know what?
I'm gonna catch up with you guys later.
Oh, great. Cops.
Officer!
Listen!
Oh, that hurt.
Listen to me!
Thank God you're here!
I've had the worst day ever!
I've been... I've been followed here
on my mother's bike! Right?
And my car's right there
and it's been following me here!
So get out of the car! No! Stop!
Oh, God. Okay, okay! Okay, all right!
Okay! I'm sorry! I'm...
I didn't mean to hit your car! Look!
Okay, look, look, look! Stop, stop!
Please! Okay,
what do you want from me?
Okay.
Oh, God, no! No!
Oh, shit! Oh, shit, shit, shit!
Oh, God! Oh, shit!
It's a bad dream.
Are you username LadiesMan217?
I don't know what you're talking about!
Are you username LadiesMan217?
Yeah.
Where is eBay item 21153?
Where are the glasses?
Get back!
Stop!
God!
What is your problem, Sam?
Okay, there's a monster right there!
It just attacked me!
Here he comes! All right, get up.
Get up and run! You have to run! Okay.
Sam, what is that thing?
- You have to get in the car. Get in.
- I don't want to.
- Get in the car. Trust me. Trust me!
- Sam.
Get in! Go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go, go!
Oh, God! We're gonna die!
We're gonna die!
No, we're not. No, we're not gonna die.
- Oh, my God!
- Trust me. He's a kick-ass driver!
Oh, my God! No!
We're gonna die!
Oh, my God!
We're locked in.
The car won't start.
At least we ditched the monster, right?
Okay.
Time to start.
He's got me! Oh, God!
He's going to kill me!
No. No, no, no!
Get off!
Kill it! Kill it!
Get it, get it, get it, get it!
Not so tough without a head, are you?
Here, come on.
What is it?
It's a robot.
But like a...
Like a different...
You know, like a super-advanced robot.
It's probably Japanese.
Yeah, it's definitely Japanese.
What are you doing?
I don't think it wants to hurt us.
It would have done that already.
Really? Well, do you speak robot?
Because they just had, like,
a giant droid death match.
- I think it wants something from me.
- What?
Well, 'cause the other one was
talking about my eBay page.
You are the strangest boy
I have ever met.
- Can you talk?
- XM Satellite Radio...
Digital cable brings you...
... Columbia Broadcasting System...
So you... You talk through the radio?
Thank you, you're beautiful.
You're wonderful, you're wonderful.
So, what was that last night?
What was that?
Message from Starfleet, Captain...
Throughout the inanimate vastness
of space...
Angels will rain down
like visitors from heaven! Hallelujah!
Visitors from heaven? What...
What are you,
like, an alien or something?
Any more questions you want to ask?
He wants us to get in the car.
And go where?
Fifty years from now,
when you're looking back at your life,
don't you want to be able to say
you had the guts to get in the car?
This car's a pretty good driver.
I know.
Why don't you go sit in that seat, there?
I'm not going to sit in that seat.
He's driving.
Yeah.
You're right.
- Well, maybe you should sit in my lap.
- Why?
Well, I have the only seat belt here.
You know, safety first.
- Yeah, all right.
- Right?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
There, see? That's better.
- Okay.
- Okay.
You know, that seat belt thing was
a pretty smooth move.
Thank you.
You know what I don't understand?
Why, if he's supposed to be, like,
this super-advanced robot,
does he transform back
into this piece-of-crap Camaro?
Whoa! Whoa!
Oh, see? No. Get...
No, that doesn't work. See?
Move it, you moron!
Great, now... See?
Fantastic.
Now you pissed him off.
That car is sensitive.
I mean, $4000 just drove off.
What?
This is you...
Oh, my God!
Come on, let's go.
This is the coolest thing I've ever seen!
Explosions everywhere!
This is easily a hundred times cooler
than Armageddon. I swear to God!
Fire, fire, fire, fire!
Whoa! Sweet!
Oh, dude, I hope this guy's got
asteroid insurance,
'cause he is so boned!
What is that?
There's something in the tree, dude.
No, there's something
in the thing by the tree!
Could you guys just give me
a space rock?
Excuse me, are you the tooth fairy?
Hey, sweetheart, what are you doing
out here by yourself?
Holy God! What happened to the pool?
Are you Samuel James Witwicky,
descendent of Archibald Witwicky?
They know your name.
Yeah.
My name is Optimus Prime.
We are autonomous robotic organisms
from the planet Cybertron.
- But you can call us Autobots for short.
- Autobots.
- What's cracking, little bitches?
- My first lieutenant. Designation, Jazz.
This looks like a cool place to kick it.
What is that?
How did he learn to talk like that?
We've learned Earth's languages
through the World Wide Web.
My weapons specialist, Ironhide.
- You feeling lucky, punk?
- Easy, Ironhide.
Just kidding.
I just wanted to show him my cannons.
Our medical officer, Ratchet.
The boy's pheromone level suggests
he wants to mate with the female.
You already know
your guardian, Bumblebee.
Bumblebee, right?
Check on the rep
Yep, second to none
So you're my guardian, huh?
His vocal processors were damaged
in battle. I'm still working on them.
Why are you here?
We are here looking for the All Spark.
And we must find it before Megatron.
Mega-what?
Our planet was once a powerful empire,
peaceful and just,
until we were betrayed by Megatron,
leader of the Decepticons.
All who defied them were destroyed.
Our war finally consumed the planet,
and the All Spark was lost to the stars.
Megatron followed it to Earth,
where Captain Witwicky found him.
My grandfather.
It was an accident
that intertwined our fates.
Come back!
I think the dogs have found something.
The ice is cracking!
Captain! Grab my rope, Captain!
I'm all right, lads!
Can we throw you a rope, Captain?
Megatron crash-landed
before he could retrieve the Cube.
Men! We've made a discovery!
He accidentally activated
his navigation system.
The coordinates to the Cube's location
on Earth were imprinted on his glasses.
How'd you know about his glasses?
- eBay.
- eBay.
If the Decepticons find the All Spark,
they will use its power to transform
Earth's machines and build a new army.
And the human race
will be extinguished.
Sam Witwicky,
you hold the key to Earth's survival.
Please tell me
that you have those glasses.
It's like
a self-regenerating molecular armor.
Look at the scorch mark
where the sabot round hit.
Melted right through.
Hey, aren't sabots hot-loaded for, like,
a 6,000-degree magnesium burn?
Close to it. It melts tank armor.
So this metal skin must react
to extreme heat.
- Heads up!
- Oh!
I thought you said
that thing was dead, man!
Strap it down! Strap it!
This thing is wicked.
All right, get on the horn
with Northern Command.
Tell them that our effective weapon
is high-heat sabot rounds.
Recommend we load them
on all the gunships. Go.
You want that piece?
Okay, Maggie, look. Let me break
it down to you how it's gonna happen.
They gonna come through that door
and be good cop, bad cop.
Don't fall for that, all right?
That's why I ate their food.
See, they put the plate of donuts
out here to test your guilt.
If you don't touch it, you're guilty.
I ate the whole plate.
The whole plate. Okay?
It's me and you.
They walk through that door,
you don't say nothing.
She did it! She did it!
She's the one you want! All right?
I was just sitting at home
watching cartoons,
playing video games with my cousin,
and she came in there.
- And then...
- Glen, you freak.
Hey! I am not going to jail for you
or anybody else!
I have done nothing bad my entire life!
Hey, man, I'm still a virgin.
Okay, so what?
I've downloaded a couple of
thousand songs off the Internet.
Who hasn't? Who hasn't?
- I promise!
- Glen, shut up!
No, you shut up! Don't talk to me!
Don't talk to me, criminal!
- Oh, sugar rush.
- This is... This is not his fault.
See? So can I go home now?
- Oh, okay. I won't.
- But just listen to me.
Okay, whoever hacked into your military
system downloaded a file, all right?
It was something about
someone named Witwicky
and some government group, right?
Named Sector Seven.
You have to let me talk to
Defense Secretary Keller
before you go to war
with the wrong country!
Whatever fell out of the sky
ended up right behind...
- What did he say?
- What?
- Did he hear it, too?
- Yeah, Jack heard it, too. Yeah.
- What does he think it is?
- He thinks it's a military experiment.
- What a knucklehead.
- Yeah, well, I think it's a plane.
Still no official word as to
what happened. You can see...
- Yeah!
- Call Sam.
- Yeah. Why?
- He should be home in 15 minutes.
Well, I'll call him in 15 minutes.
If you wait 15 minutes, he'll be late
and you'll have to ground him.
Well, I can't ground him
if he's not late, can I?
I need you to stay here, all right?
You got to stay here
and you're gonna watch them.
- Okay, okay.
- All of them.
- Do you hear what I'm saying?
- Yeah, okay, okay.
Five minutes, all right?
- Thanks for staying on my path.
- Oh, yeah. No, no, Dad. Hey!
The... Oh, the path. I'm sorry.
I forgot about the path.
I'm gonna sweep the whole thing
right now. How about that?
- You know, I buy half your car...
- Yeah.
...then I bail you out of jail and then
I just decided to do all your chores.
- The chores.
- Yeah. Life is great, huh?
Life... Life is fantastic, is how good it is.
It's so... Oh, the trash cans. Sorry, Dad.
I'm gonna do the trash cans now.
No, no, I don't want you
to strain yourself.
No, no, I won't strain myself, Dad.
- I'll do it.
- It would hurt my feelings if you do it.
- You sure? I don't mind, I don't...
- I promise...
No, no, no, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do the trash cans
and I'm gonna scrape the grill
and I'm gonna... I'm gonna sweep up
the whole house right now.
- Tonight, right now?
- Right now.
The...
I love you. God, I love you
just so much right now.
You know,
Mom wanted me to ground you.
- You're three minutes late.
- Right?
Oh, well, just another thing
you did for me, Dad,
because you're such a swell guy.
One more thing, huh?
All right, I love you!
Sleep good, handsome man!
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
No, watch the path! Watch the path!
Watch the... Please, please, please.
No, no, wait. No, no, no! Oh, no!
- Sorry. My bad.
- Oh, I... You couldn't...
You couldn't wait for five...
You couldn't wait for five minutes?
I told you to just stay! Just stay! God!
- I told you to watch them. I told you.
- Okay, you know what?
- They seem to be in a little bit of a rush.
- Oh, this is bad. No!
Mojo, Mojo! Off the robot! God!
- Oh, wet.
- No, no, no, no, no! Easy! Easy!
Hold on! Hold! This is Mojo.
This is Mojo. He's a pet of mine.
He's a pet. Okay? That's all.
If you could just put the guns away...
- Put the... Put them away. Please.
- You have a rodent infestation.
- A what?
- Shall I terminate?
No, no, no, no.
He's not a rodent, he's a Chihuahua.
This is my... This is my Chihuahua.
We love Chihuahuas! Don't we?
He's leaked lubricants all over my foot.
- He peed on you? Bad Mojo. Bad Mojo!
- Bad Mojo!
I'm sorry.
He's got a male dominance thing.
That's all it is.
- My foot's gonna rust.
- All right.
Okay, okay.
- Shut up and go hide!
- Just hurry.
Autobots, recon.
I hope he's okay. He's in the kitchen.
Got some ice on his nose.
I had to slap him around a little bit.
You did not.
- You didn't even ground him.
- Almost, almost.
Where are they? No, no, no, no, no.
Come on, come on.
- What? What is this?
- Time is short.
- They really want those glasses.
- Come on. What are you doing?
- I'm gonna help you.
- Okay.
- Please hurry.
- Okay.
- Yeah, no, no. It's definitely gone.
- What do you mean?
My glasses were in the bag.
They were in the backpack
and now the backpack isn't here.
Well, they're gonna be pissed,
so what do you wanna do?
So what I think you should do is
you should...
You should check this whole...
This whole section here.
Just give it a clean sweep,
and I'll get the corner here.
Yeah, no, no, no. Not there.
That's my... That's my private...
- Sorry. That's nothing.
- You just...
- You just told me to look...
- I know,
but I didn't mean to look inside
of my treasure chest.
You should be way more specific
so I don't get in trouble in your room.
I'm already stressed out enough.
Okay. What now?
No. No, no. No, no, no.
This isn't hiding. This isn't hiding.
This is my backyard, not a truck stop.
Oh, God. Oh!
Okay, I saw it. The UFO landed
right here and now it's gone.
My moped's under there, man!
Who's gonna pay for that?
Sam? Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.
- He's back here.
- I can't deal with this. I can't...
What? Oh, no, no, no.
- This is my mother's flower...
- Oops.
Okay, listen. You got to listen to me.
If my parents come out here
and see you, they're gonna freak out.
My mother's got a temper, okay?
We must have the glasses.
I know you need the glasses.
I've been looking everywhere.
They're not here.
They're definitely not here.
Keep searching.
I need you to be quiet for five minutes.
Ten minutes. Okay?
Please, I'm begging you. You got to...
You're making a racket.
I can't concentrate.
You want me to look and I'm hearing...
Calm down, calm down.
You got to do something here.
You got to do something here.
- Autobots, fall back.
- Thank you. Please, for five minutes.
Good? Good? Okay.
- Move!
- Get away!
What's the matter with you?
Can't you be quiet?
He wants us to be quiet.
Earthquake! Move, move, move, move,
move! Earthquake!
Judy! Judy, get under the table! Move it!
Duck and cover right now!
How did you get over there so fast?
Wow! That was tingly!
- You got to try that!
- Yeah, that looks fun.
- Sam?
- Sammy?
- What the hell is that?
- I don't know.
- Sam?
- That's weird.
- Sam!
- Ratchet, point the light.
- Come on, hurry.
- Listen, we got a major issue in here.
What's with the light?
You gotta stop the light.
What's going on? Turn it off.
You gotta tell him to shut it off.
- Shut it off.
- Sam, are you in there?
How come the door's locked?
You know the rules.
No doors locked in my house!
You know he'll start counting
- if you don't open the door!
- One more chance. Five...
Oh, dear.
- Four. It's coming off the hinges, pal.
- He's counting!
- Sam, just open the door.
- Three.
- Oh, my.
- Two.
- He's counting.
- Stand back.
- What's up? What's with the bat?
- Who were you talking to?
- I'm talking to you.
- Why are you so sweaty and filthy?
I'm a child. You know, I'm a teenager.
We heard voices and noises
and we thought maybe you were...
It doesn't matter what we thought.
What was that light?
No, what light? What?
There's no light, Dad! There's no light!
You got two lights in your hand!
That's what it is.
- Maybe it bounced...
- There was light under the door.
Look, you can't... You can't just bounce
into my room like that.
You got to knock.
You got to communicate.
- We knocked for five minutes.
- I'm a teenager.
- We knocked.
- You didn't knock.
- You were screaming at me, okay?
- No.
This is repression,
what you're doing here.
- You're ruining my youth, okay?
- Oh, for Pete's sakes!
You are so defensive!
Were you masturbating?
- Judy.
- Was I...
- No, Mom.
- Zip it, okay?
- It's okay.
- No, I don't masturbate!
That's not something for you
to bring up.
- That's a father-and-son thing, okay?
- Father-son thing.
I mean, you don't have to call it that
word if that makes you uncomfortable.
You can call it Sam's happy time or...
- Happy time?
- ...my special alone time...
- Stop.
- Mom.
- Judy, stop.
- ...with myself.
- Mom, you can't come in and...
- I'm sorry.
It's just been a weird night.
I've had a little bit to drink.
- No, no, Dad.
- Yeah, well, we saw a light.
Oh, parents.
I don't know where it was, but we saw it.
Earthquake! It's another one! Another
earthquake! Get in the doorway!
- Okay!
- Aftershock! Aftershock!
Oh, I hate these.
- Got to ride it out. Ride it out!
- Quick, hide.
- Hey, the lights are back on.
- Hide? What?
- Where?
- Come on, get out of that tub.
Can't you take safety seriously?
- Good Lord, this floor is filthy, Sam.
- Oh, oh, man! Man. Oh.
Oh, no! Look at the yard.
The yard is destroyed.
Judy? Better call the city.
We got a blown transformer!
Power pole's sparking all over
the place!
Oh, man. Yard's a waste.
Trashed. Gone.
- It's a wash. The whole yard.
- You're kidding.
The parents are very irritating.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Can I take them out?
Ironhide, you know
we don't harm humans.
What is with you?
Well, I'm just saying we could.
It's an option.
We heard you talking
to somebody, Sam.
- We wanna know who.
- Mom, I told...
Hi. I'm Mikaela.
I'm a... I'm a friend of Sam's.
Gosh, you're gorgeous.
Isn't that the prettiest girl?
- She can hear you talking, Mom.
- Thank you.
Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry you had to
hear our little family discussion about...
- Sorry that we're bugging you.
- Do you have my backpack?
- Come on, hon. Let's go.
- Oh, it's in the kitchen.
Oh, yes. Okay. Okay.
- Yeah.
- Your mom's so nice.
I want you to distract my parents
while I slip out and get these glasses
to them, okay?
- Ronald Wickity?
- It's Witwicky. Who are you?
We're the government. Sector Seven.
- Never heard of it.
- Never will.
Your son's the great-grandson
of Captain Archibald Wickity, is he not?
It's Witwicky.
May I enter the premises, sir?
Ron, there's guys all over the front yard.
What the heck is going on here?
Your son filed a stolen car report
last night.
We think it's involved in
a national security matter.
- They're ripping up my rose bushes!
- National security?
That's right. National security.
My God, Ron, they're everywhere.
There's guys in suits all around
the house! Look at this!
Could you stay off the grass?
Get me a sample
and some isotope readings.
They're pulling bushes out
of the ground!
Good Lord! They've got to get
their hands off my bush!
- Drop the bat, ma'am.
- Hey, hey, hey, that's my...
I'm carrying a loaded weapon.
But you'd better get those guys
out of my garden
or I am gonna beat the crap out of them!
Are you experiencing any flu-like
symptoms? Aching joints? Fever?
- No!
- What is this?
How you doing, son?
Is your name Sam?
- Yeah.
- Well, I need you to come with us.
Whoa, way out of line.
Sir, I am asking politely. Back off.
- You're not taking my son.
- Really?
You gonna try to get rough with us?
No, but I'm gonna call the cops
because there's something fishy
going on around here.
Yeah. There's something a little fishy
about you, your son,
your little Taco Bell dog and this
whole operation you got going on here.
- What operation?
- That is what we are gonna find out.
I think direct contact.
- Son?
- Yeah.
- Step forward, please.
- Just stand?
Fourteen rads.
Bingo! Tag them and bag them!
If you hurt my dog, I'll kick your ass!
Get me a sample on
that vegetation ASAP!
Sam! Do not say anything, Sam!
- Yeah.
- Not a word until we get a lawyer!
So,
LadiesMan217.
That is your eBay username, right?
Yeah, but, you know,
it was a typo and I ran with it.
What do you make of this?
My name is Sam Witwicky, okay?
And my...
Is that you?
Yeah, that sounds like LadiesMan.
Last night at the station, you told
the officer your car transformed.
- Enlighten me.
- Well, here's what I said, okay?
'Cause this is a total misunderstanding
that my car had been stolen...
- Really?
- ...from me, from my home,
but it's fine now because it's back!
It came back!
- Well, not by itself.
- Well, no.
Because cars don't do that
because that would be crazy.
That's funny. That is so funny.
So what do you kids know
about aliens, huh?
Oh, you mean, like a Martian?
Like what, E. T? No.
- It's an urban legend.
- Yeah.
You see this?
This is an I-can-do-whatever-I-want
and-get-away-with-it badge.
- Right.
- I'm gonna lock you up forever.
Oh, God. You know what?
Don't listen to him.
He's just pissy 'cause he's got to
get back to guarding the mall.
You, in the training bra, do not test me.
Especially with your daddy's parole
coming up.
What? Parole?
- It's nothing.
- Oh, grand theft auto, that ain't nothing?
You know those cars my dad
used to teach me to fix?
Well, they... They weren't always his.
You stole cars?
Well, we couldn't always afford
a babysitter,
so sometimes he had to take me along.
She's got her own juvie record
to prove it!
She's a criminal. Criminals are hot.
That'd be a real shame if he had to rot
in jail the rest of his natural life.
It is time to talk!
Big! It's big!
Go, go, go, go!
- I can't see it! I can't see it!
- Shift your weight towards the front!
All right! All right!
You A-holes are in trouble now.
Gentlemen, I want to introduce you
to my friend, Optimus Prime.
Taking the children was a bad move.
Autobots, relieve them of their weapons.
Freeze!
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Give me those!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Hi, there.
You don't seem afraid.
Are you not surprised to see us?
Look, there are
Seven protocols, okay?
I'm not authorized
to communicate with you
except to tell you
I can't communicate with you.
- Get out of the car.
- All right.
- Me? You want me to get...
- Now!
All right, all right. Get out. Hey.
All right, I'm... I'm getting out.
I'm getting out. You see?
Very nifty how you put us down
without really killing us.
You're good with handcuffs, too,
now, huh?
How you doing?
- You weren't supposed to hear all that.
- How's it going, huh?
- Yeah.
- This is real.
Now, listen. If I choose to engage
with him, mum is the word, all right?
Sam, I have a record
because I wouldn't turn my dad in.
When have you had to sacrifice
anything in your perfect little life?
Big guys. Big guys with big guns, huh?
What is Sector Seven? Answer me.
I'm the one who asks questions
around here. Not you, young man!
- How'd you know about the aliens?
- Where did you take my parents?
- I am not at liberty to discuss it.
- No?
Hey. You touch me,
that's a federal offense.
Do-whatever-you-want
and-get-away-with-it badge, right?
Yeah. Brave now all of a sudden, with
his big alien friend standing over there.
- Where is Sector Seven?
- Wouldn't you like to know?
Hey!
Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man.
Get that thing to stop, huh?
- All right, tough guy, take it off.
- What are you talking about?
- Your clothes, all of it, off.
- For what?
For threatening my dad.
Little lady, this is the beginning
of the end of your life.
You're a criminal.
Let's face facts. It's in your gene pool.
Those are nice.
Now get behind the pole.
All right.
This is such a felony, what you're doing.
- I will hunt you down, okay?
- He'll hunt you down.
- Without any remorse!
- No remorse.
- Enjoy.
- Okay?
- We have got to alert everyone.
- They already know. Speaker.
Optimus! Incoming!
Roll out.
Okay, I'm picking up rad readings
under that bridge right down there.
Okay, I'm getting really good rad
readings. Forty-two and higher.
Up you get.
Okay, we're dropping in.
Really strong readings right down
below us. There he is.
Ship one and two, come on in.
That's it, right there.
Mark him, mark him.
Okay, there he is. 11:30. 11:30.
Right off the nose.
I got it. 12:00.
Okay, I'm tracking him. I've got him.
Got him going down the street.
Okay. Where'd he go, guys? I lost him.
Got no IR signature. Where'd he go?
Okay, I lost him. I lost him.
Okay, we're coming around.
Easy, you two.
No! No! No, Sam! Sam, don't drop me!
Sam, don't! Sam, don't! I'm slipping!
I'm slipping!
- Hold on!
- No!
Sam!
All right, we've got him pinned.
We've got him pinned in the river.
I'm in for the shot.
Stop! Stop!
Wait! No!
- Take the shot, get him.
- Take the shot.
No!
No! Stop!
Stop!
Get down on the ground! Get down!
Get down!
What? Okay.
Look, he's not fighting back!
Freeze it! Freeze it! Freeze it!
Stop hurting him!
Don't let him move!
I got him here!
No!
Happy to see me again?
Put him in a car
with his little criminal friend.
I want that thing frozen
and ready for transport!
Hang back. Let me check it out.
Optimus,
are we just gonna stand here
and do nothing?
There's no way to free Bumblebee
without harming the humans.
- But it's not right. He...
- Let them leave.
The Chinese and the Russians
are nearing our area of operations
in the western Pacific.
We feel like this could get
out of hand real fast.
But the next couple of hours
may just define his presidency.
US and Chinese task forces
approaching 100 nautical miles
of cruise missile range.
Tell the strike group commander that
he's not to engage unless fired on first.
- Yes, sir!
- Mr. Secretary?
Tom Banachek. I'm with Sector Seven,
Advanced Research Division.
Never heard of it. I'm a little busy, Tom.
I think you can see that.
- What's going on here?
- I don't know.
Sit rep! Talk to me!
- The whole room's gone down, sir.
- I can see that!
The virus was coded to shut us down.
- General?
- I'll take a seat.
What do you mean, "shut us down"?
They used our network to spread out
to the whole world.
The blackout's global.
We have no communications,
satellite and land lines are dead.
You mean to tell me that I cannot pick
up this telephone and call my family?
Mr. Secretary? I'm here under
direct order from the President.
You really need to see
what I have in the case.
You'll have to accept that
there are certain things
you won't understand right away.
Sector Seven is a special-access
division of the government
convened in secret under
President Hoover 80 years ago.
You may remember NASA JPL
lost the Beagle 2 Mars Rover.
We told them to report the mission
a complete failure. It wasn't.
Beagle 2 transmitted 13 seconds.
This was classified above top secret.
EDA ended at 170 hours, 48 minutes.
More than just a pile of Martian rocks.
This is the image from Mars.
Here's the image your
Special Ops team was able to retrieve
from the base attack.
We believe they are of
the same exoskeletal type,
and obviously not Russian
or North Korean.
Are we talking about an invasion?
We intercepted the message
from your Special Ops team.
These things can be hurt by
our weapons and now they know it.
That's why the virus shut us down,
so we can't coordinate against
their next attack,
which I would bet my ridiculous
government salary is coming soon.
Get word to our fleet commanders
over the National Guard frequency.
It's a shortwave radio channel.
It might be still working.
Tell them to turn their ships around
and come home. ASAP!
And inform all commands to prepare
for imminent attack.
Captain Lennox, we need you and
your team to come with us right now!
Let's go!
She's in here.
What's going on?
You're coming with me.
- You're going to be my advisor.
- Me, too?
Who's this?
- He's my advisor.
- He comes, too.
- So...
- What'd they get you for?
I bought a car.
Turned out to be an alien robot.
Wow.
Who knew?
Make a hole! Watch your back!
Please, let this work.
Fire it up, Optimus.
The code.
The code on these glasses indicates
the All Spark is 230 miles from here.
I sense the Decepticons
are getting ready to mobilize.
They must know it's here, as well.
What about Bumblebee?
We can't just leave him to die
and become some human experiment!
He'll die in vain
if we don't accomplish our mission.
Bumblebee is a brave soldier.
This is what he would want.
Why are we fighting to save
the humans?
They're a primitive and violent race.
Were we so different?
They're a young species.
They have much to learn.
But I've seen goodness in them.
Freedom is the right of
all sentient beings.
You all know there's only one way
to end this war.
We must destroy the Cube.
If all else fails, I will unite it
with the spark in my chest.
That's suicide.
The Cube is raw power.
It could destroy you both.
A necessary sacrifice to bring peace
to this planet.
We cannot let the humans pay
for our mistakes.
It's been an honor serving with you all.
- Autobots, roll out!
- We rolling!
Team attention! Present arms!
At ease. Captain, Sergeant.
Got your intel. Excellent work.
Thank you, sir.
What about the gunships?
They're being retrofitted
with sabot rounds now.
If they hit us again,
we'll be ready for them.
But it won't do us much good if we can't
get world communications back up.
Hey, kid.
I think we got off to a bad start, huh?
You must be hungry?
You want a latte? HoHo?
Double venti macchiato?
Where's my car?
Son, I need you to listen to me
very carefully.
People can die here.
We need to know everything you know.
We need to know it now.
Okay.
But first, I'll take my car, my parents.
Maybe you should write that down.
Oh, and her juvie record.
That's got to be gone. Like, forever.
Come with me.
We'll talk about your car.
Thank you.
The man's an extortionist.
All right, here's the situation.
You've all had direct contact
with the NBEs.
NBEs?
Non-Biological Extraterrestrials.
Try and keep up with the acronyms.
What you're about to see
is totally classified.
Dear God. What is this?
We think when he made his approach
over the north pole,
our gravitational field screwed up
his telemetry.
He crashed in the ice,
probably a few thousand years ago.
We shipped him here to this facility
in 1934.
We call him NBE One.
Well, sir, I don't mean to correct you
on everything you think you know,
but, I mean, that's Megatron.
He's the leader of the Decepticons.
He's been in cryostasis since 1935.
Your great-great-grandfather made
one of the greatest discoveries
in the history of mankind.
Fact is, you're looking at
the source of the modern age,
the microchip, lasers, spaceflight, cars,
all reverse-engineered by studying him.
NBE One. That's what we call it.
And you didn't think the United States
military might need to know
that you're keeping a hostile alien robot
frozen in the basement?
Until these events, we had no
credible threat to national security.
Well, you got one now.
- So why Earth?
- It's the All Spark.
All Spark? What is that?
Well, yeah, they came here looking
for some sort of cube-looking thing.
Anyway, Mr. NBE One here, AKA
Megatron, that's what they call him,
who's pretty much the harbinger
of death, wants to use the Cube
to transform human technology
to take over the universe.
That's their plan.
- And you're sure about that?
- Yeah.
You guys know where it is, don't you?
Follow me.
You're about to see our crown jewel.
Carbon dating puts the Cube here
around 10,000 BC.
The first Seven didn't find it until 1913.
They knew it was alien because of
the matching hieroglyphics on the Cube
as well as NBE One.
President Hoover had the dam built
around it.
Four football fields thick of concrete.
A perfect way to hide its energy
from being detected by anyone
or any alien species on the outside.
Wait, back up. You said
the dam hides the Cube's energy.
- What kind exactly?
- Good question.
Please step inside.
They have to lock us in.
Oh, wow.
What's that? Freddy Krueger done
been up in here or something?
Oh, no, man.
Freddy Krueger have four blades, man.
That's only three. That's Wolverine!
- Right? That's Wolverine!
- That's very funny.
Anybody have any mechanical devices?
BlackBerry? Key alarm? Cell phone?
I got a phone.
Nokias are real nasty.
You've got to respect the Japanese.
They know the way of the samurai.
Nokia's from Finland.
Yes, but he's, you know, a little strange.
He's a little strange.
We're able to take the Cube radiation
and funnel it into that box.
- Mean little sucker, huh?
- That thing is freaky!
Kind of like the itty-bitty
Energizer Bunny from hell, huh?
He's breaking the box.
Go! Go! Go!
Move!
Gentlemen, they know the Cube is here.
Banachek. What's going on?
Well, the NBE One hangar
has lost power...
- What?
- ... and the backup generator
- is just not gonna cut it.
- Do you have an arms room?
Megatron! Megatron! Megatron!
I'll bring security to the...
Get everyone to
the NBE One chamber now!
- The lights are out!
- Move it! Move it!
Let's go!
They're popping our generators!
Megatron melting!
16502. We're losing pressure.
Stand by! Set!
We're losing pressure!
The cryogenic system is failing!
We're losing NBE One!
Forty millimeter sabot rounds
on that table!
That's good. Get all the ammo you got.
Everything you can carry. Bring it.
You got to take me to my car.
You have to take me to my car.
He's gonna know what to do
with the Cube.
- Your car? It's confiscated.
- Then unconfiscate it.
We do not know what will happen
if we let it near this thing!
- You don't know.
- Maybe you know, but I don't know.
You just wanna sit here and wait
and see what happens?
I have people's lives at stake here,
young man.
Take him to his car!
Drop it.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Drop your weapon, soldier.
There's an alien war going on
and you're gonna shoot me?
You know, we didn't ask to be here.
I'm ordering you under S-Seven
executive jurisdiction.
Seven don't exist.
Right. And we don't take orders
from people that don't exist.
- I'm gonna count to five. Okay.
- Well, I'm gonna count to three.
- Simmons?
- Yes, sir?
I'd do what he says. Losing's really
not an option for these guys.
All right. Okay.
Hey, you want to lay the fate of the
world on the kid's Camaro? That's cool.
No, no!
Stop! You got to stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
No, no, stop, stop, stop!
Let him go! Let him go!
Are you okay?
They didn't hurt you, right?
Listen to me. The Cube is here
and the Decepticons are coming.
No, no, don't worry about them.
They're okay. Right?
They're not gonna hurt you.
Just back up a little bit.
He's friendly. He's fine.
Okay, come on. Put the guns down.
They're not gonna hurt you.
Here, come with me.
I'm gonna take you to the All Spark.
Okay, here we go. He doing something.
He doing something.
Oh, my God.
Message from Starfleet, Captain.
Let's get to it.
He's right. We stay here, we're screwed
with Megatron in the other hangar.
Mission City is 22 miles away.
We're gonna sneak that Cube
out of here
and we're gonna hide it somewhere
in the city.
Good! Right.
But we cannot make a stand
without the Air Force.
This place must have some kind
of radio link!
- Yes. Shortwave, CB.
- Right, yes.
Sir, you got to figure out some way
to get word out to them. Let's move!
In the alien archive, sir!
- The alien...
- There's an old Army radio console.
- Will it work?
- Anything's possible!
- Did you see that...
- All right, Sam, get it in the car!
Mr. Secretary! Get our birds in the air.
When we get to the city,
we're gonna find a radio,
and I'll have Epps vector them in, okay?
Affirmative!
Warning! NBE One
cryo-containment failing.
Check that backup system!
The cryo's failing! You got to bump up
the cryo! The cryo's failing!
Come on! Get out of here!
Heads up! Look out!
Set a perimeter around
the yellow vehicle!
- This way, this way, this way!
- Up there! Let's go!
I am Megatron!
- The Cube's okay?
- Yeah, it's fine.
Well, put the seat belt on.
Pour it on him!
I live to serve you, Lord Megatron.
Where is the Cube?
The humans have taken it.
You fail me yet again, Starscream.
Get them!
Come on, Mags!
Over here, sir!
Give me a minute. Give me a minute.
Come to me, Maxwell, come to me.
Plugged in there.
- We're hot! We're live!
- Where are the mikes?
Mikes?
This doesn't work without mikes,
Simmons.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Let's find them.
Kid, get in the chair!
Just get in the chair, all right?
- Okay, I'll sit. I'll sit.
- They steal everything out of this place.
How do we get the signal out?
How do we call the Air Force?
- Glen?
- Huh?
Can you hotwire this computer to
transmit a tone through the radio?
What good is that?
Morse code! You can use this
to transmit it through that!
Okay, I'll do it! Turn it around.
Okay, let's see.
Simmons, I need a screwdriver!
There's Optimus.
Almost done.
What the hell was that?
Barricade the door!
- Get something.
- Watch out!
Six, five, four, six, three.
Here! Put some rounds in!
Master search.
I got it! We're transmitting!
Send exactly what I say!
Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
Burn, you little sucker! Burn!
"This is Defense Secretary Keller.
Get me NORTHCOM commander."
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
What was that?
Authenticate emergency action.
Blackbird 1195...
Sir, I have an authenticated
air strike order from Sec Def.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- What?
It's the same cop!
Block them, block them, block them.
Oh, my God.
Cool, Mom!
This is so not good.
He's behind the pillar!
- Shoot that mother...
- Maggie, cover fire!
It's the Air Force! They're responding!
Sucker, burn!
Oh, shit!
Yes! They're sending F-22s to the city!
Raptors, let's scramble,
scramble, scramble.
Strike and Dark Star roll call.
Looking out the right side.
Push to Kill Box One Alpha...
- Come on, let's go! Mount up!
- Move out! Move out! Go! Go!
Here, I got shortwave radios.
Wait. What am I supposed to
do with these?
Well, use them! It's all we got!
This is like RadioShack dinosaur radios
or something, man.
I'm only gonna get 20 or 30 miles
out of these things.
Are there any aircraft orbiting the city?
F-22 at 12:00.
All right, I want planes for air cover
and get Black Hawks on station
to extract that Cube. You got it?
Air Force has arrived! Pop smoke!
Raptor, Raptor, do you copy?
We have you visual.
Green smoke is the mark.
Provide air cover and vector
Black Hawks for extraction.
It's Starscream!
Please tell me you copy.
Back up! Take cover! Bumblebee!
No, no, no, no, no! Move!
- Back up! Back up!
- Retreat! Fall back!
Incoming!
Anybody hurt? Everyone okay?
Clear the area!
Oh, my God.
Bumblebee? No. Your legs!
Your legs.
Here. Here, back, back, back, back!
You all right?
Please get up. Bumblebee? Get up!
Ratchet!
- What the hell was that?
- What are you talking about?
What do you mean, what am
I talking about? They shot at us!
F-22 pilots would never fly
below buildings.
That's alien. That ain't friendly!
You got to get up. You're okay.
You're okay.
Come on!
Army Black Hawk inbound
to your location. Over.
Alpha 273 degrees, 10 miles.
November Victor, 1.2 clicks north.
Move out! Let's go!
Let's go! Move!
I'm not gonna leave you.
Come on, Decepticon punk!
Oh, my God!
Concentrate your fire!
Come on. Come on.
Megatron!
It's Megatron! Retreat! Move! Fall back!
Fall back!
Get our guys out of the way!
Get out of here! Go!
Get them out of the buggy! Move out!
We need air cover down here now!
Sam, help me with this.
- That all you got, Megatron?
- Come here, little cretin.
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece?
No! I want two!
What's going on?
Sir! That tank thing's getting back up.
Oh, these things just don't die.
Oh, we're so dead.
- Wrap it around the head.
- Sam!
Where's the Cube?
- Right there.
- Okay.
And take that and wrap it around
the base and then put it
around his neck.
- Okay?
- Epps, get those Black Hawks here!
That building.
- Okay.
- What?
All right, I can't leave my guys back
there, so here, take this flare.
Okay, there's a tall, white building
with statues on top.
- Go to the roof. Set the flare.
- No.
- Signal the chopper and set the flare.
- No, no. I can't do this!
Listen to me! You're a soldier now!
All right? I need you to take this Cube.
Get it into military hands
while we hold them off,
or a lot of people are gonna die.
- You got to go. You got to go.
- No, I'm not leaving.
- You need to go. Go.
- No, I'm not leaving
till I get Bumblebee out of here, okay?
Army Black Hawk requested.
Immediate evac for civilian boy
with precious cargo.
Headed to rooftop marked by flare.
- Sam, we will protect you.
- Okay.
- Epps, where are those planes?
- Sam!
No matter what happens,
I'm really glad I got in that car with you.
Sam! Get to the building! Move!
- Decepticons, attack!
- Hit it!
- Cover fire!
- Move to cover!
Watch out!
- Girl, get that tow truck out of here!
- I'm going! I'm going!
Get out of here now!
Megatron!
Prime.
Humans don't deserve to live.
They deserve to choose for themselves.
Then you will die with them!
Join them in extinction!
Keep moving, Sam!
Don't stop!
No!
Sam, get to the building!
Give me that Cube, boy!
Did that jerk just dent my car?
You're not gonna get me.
You're not gonna get me!
I smell you, boy!
Maggot!
Oh, no!
I'll drive! You shoot!
This isn't going well!
Shoot! Shoot!
Nice shot.
- That tank is definitely dead now.
- All right, let's go! We got business!
Hey!
Hey! I'm over here!
We've got the boy.
Watch out!
Missile!
Hang on, Sam!
No! No!
Is it fear or courage
that compels you, fleshling?
Where do I go?
Give me the All Spark
and you may live to be my pet.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm never giving you this All Spark!
Oh, so unwise.
I got you, boy.
Hold on to the Cube!
- Oh, no. Oh, no!
- Disgusting.
Sam?
You risked your life to protect the Cube.
No sacrifice,
- no victory.
- If I cannot defeat Megatron,
you must push the Cube into my chest.
I will sacrifice myself to destroy it.
Get behind me.
It's you and me, Megatron.
No, it's just me, Prime.
At the end of this day,
one shall stand, one shall fall.
You still fight for the weak!
That is why you lose!
Fighter jets in 60 seconds.
We got friendlies mixed with bad guys.
Targets will be marked.
Hey.
Bring the rain. All right?
All right, let's kill these things.
- Move, move, move!
- Remember, aim low.
Armor's weak under the chest.
Target marked. Still waiting.
Time on target, 20 seconds.
F-22s, we're still waiting.
Move out!
Incoming!
Weapons armed. Status green.
Run! Move!
Second wave's on approach.
What is that? Break off!
- Copy.
- It's either a massive amount of...
Two, get a lock! Pop that guy!
Stay on him. Keep him in your sights.
Take him out!
Two's down!
I'll kill you!
Mine! All Spark!
Sam! Put the Cube in my chest! Now!
Sam!
No, Sam!
Hold up.
You left me no choice, brother.
Sam, I owe you my life.
We are in your debt.
Prime, we couldn't save him.
Jazz.
We lost a great comrade
but gained new ones.
Thank you, all of you.
You honor us with your bravery.
Permission to speak, sir?
Permission granted, old friend.
You speak now?
I wish to stay with the boy.
If that is his choice.
Yes.
Gentlemen, the President has ordered
Sector Seven be terminated
and the remains of the dead aliens
disposed of.
The Laurentian Abyss is
seven miles below sea level,
deepest place on our planet.
The massive depth and pressure there,
coupled with subfreezing temperatures,
would crush and entomb them,
leaving no evidence.
With the All Spark gone,
we cannot return life to our planet.
And fate has yielded its reward,
a new world to call home.
We live among its people now,
hiding in plain sight,
but watching over them in secret,
waiting, protecting.
I have witnessed
their capacity for courage.
And though we are worlds apart,
like us, there's more to them
than meets the eye.
I am Optimus Prime
and I send this message
to any surviving Autobots
taking refuge among the stars.
We are here.
We are waiting.
Can you shed any light on the recent,
so-called alien activity in the area?
Do you know what? I think that
if there was some sort of an alien
- infestation...
- Yeah.
They, the government,
would be the first to let you know.
The government would let us know.
- I mean, this is America.
- Yeah.
You know, that's how we know
we live in a free land,
because there's no secrets.
They'd say, "Hey! Duck and cover."
Your head is kind of a different size
than it is on television.