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TransMilitary (2018)
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[music] [Gen Eisenhower] Soldiers, sailors and airmen, the hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you. [archive] We recall the contribution and sacrifice which so many has made. [archive] They have come from the cities and the farms and every section of our land. They have lived in different times and they have fought in different battles on different fields. [archive] And they gave up two lives, the one they were living, and the one they would have lived. [archive] I ask every American to find a way to thank the men and women who are defending our freedom. [archive] You who once wore uniforms of our Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines or Coast Guard. [archive] These American heroes risked everything so that you and I can live in freedom. To all of our incredible veterans, to the people in the Military, thank you. God bless you! God bless the United States of America. Thank you very much. [crowd cheering] [typing] [Logan] Every day in Kandahar, our job itself when you go outside the wire is inherently dangerous. You're going out where there's people that their sole job is to kill you. [Logan] But what I like about this deployment is I can be my authentic self. Here in Afghanistan, a war zone, I'm just another guy, whereas back home, I'm still seen as female. I go by female regs and standards. Currently in Afghanistan, there's only a handful of people that know that I'm transgender. I stand to lose my career, my future, my foundation... I stand to lose everything. [Laila] I joined the Military when I was 17 years old. My job that I was assigned was an interrogator. And I deployed to Iraq soon after basic training at the AIT. We had followed the most wanted list, whether we captured them dead or alive. When the repeal of "don't ask, don't tell" happened, I had no idea that it did not cover the TMLGBT. There was a fear about being discovered by my unit, and being discharged. Transgender individuals in the Military, it is our time now to step forward and say Ok, it's not about what gender I am, it's about if I can get the job done. And we for years have shown that. And so... Why not acknowledge us? [Jenn] I enlisted in the Army, really to get out of where I was and to get my life in track. I was homeless and a high school drop... out. Uhm, I had an abusive stepfather and the relationship with my mother wasn't very strong. And I didn't have anywhere else to go. I am now a captain, I am in the Intelligence Corps. I am responsible for all of the intelligence collection and analysis within the infantry battalion, of about 400 soldiers that I am assigned to. [gun shots] I loved being in the Military. They gave me everything, gave me a home and the ability to care for my family. Since I've transitioned, all my performance reviews have been excellent. It cleared my head. It's Made me have more confidence in myself. And over all I think it made me better at what I do. All of the challenges of being transgender have come from military policy. That's where it's been the hardest. [El] I am a human resources officer in Strike Brigade in the 101st Airborne Division at Fort Campbell. As an officer in the United States Army, I am not just a soldier, I'm a leader. Everything that I do, every single day, is in service to soldiers. The army, you know Identified me as female. The simplest way that I can explain what being trans is, is I'm a male, just born in a female body. And I have taken and am taking, right, the steps to make my biological, physical body reflect my gender. I am concerned about the Military discharging me. I am concerned every day. I'm Sue Fulton, I am one of the founding members of Sparta, army veteran and West Point graduate. We founded Sparta in the summer of 2013 with one of our primary goals to get the transgender ban lifted. [Sue] Couple of months ago we got an agreement from Under Secretary of the Army, Brad Carson that he would meet with our people. And a big part of this is, you know by coming out as transgender service members that raises a risk that the folks who come to this meting might be discharged. Everybody is gonna actually rehearse these a couple of times and time them. This is the excruciating part of this you're gonna have to say this. You have to say it to a timer and then you have to do it again. [Sue] It's gonna be nerve racking for them. The thing about being a soldier is if you say: Well, here's the task and it's a tough task. A good soldier would say, well, then give it to me. And those are the folks we have. You'll talk briefly about the deployment in Korea and, you know the commander of the CSH said that you were her best platoon leader. [Sue] They need to understand the kind of people that we might be loosing because of this stupid policy. We may be talking about our individual life, but we're not just talking about our life You have people that have pending investigations for something that doesn't really matter. Or people who are putting off their own transition out of shear fear that just saying anything is gonna get them kicked out of their livelihood what's putting food on the table for their family. When your country sees you as being able to serve and be an officer, be, you know a Sergeant Major, be those things, you gain respect. And as a group, if you deploy in some sort of combat or fly, you know a jet into to combat or be on a submarine... And then say: "Oh, but you can't work here." We walked out of the meeting today basically saying, like what the hell just happened? We were supposed to have one meeting and then... We had three meetings. Everybody just was like, did I just really hear what I just heard or did I just completely make that up? The Under Secretary of the Army saying that he was gonna do everything he could to protect us, and apologize for how the Army had treated us. I was about to break down and cry. These are like the coolest things you can ever get in the Military. - Behind this coin actually. - What are they? - This is... - So, these are military coins. - Are you gonna let me talk? - Ok, go ahead, talk. We receive that one for Department of the Airforce, and Under Secretary of the Airforce this says Department of the Army, Under Secretary. And then at the back, it says Brad Carson, his name with his signature. After we were done talking to him, he treated us like people. He talked to us, he spent time with us. Like he carried our coats and got our trash, he told us where we should go to lunch, I mean, he was the first person that I've ever talked to outside of this group that I felt like cared about us as people. And really had it in his heart that he wanted to make our lives better. [Jenn] It was my first time being in the Pentagon, and it was amazing It was so empowering to be open with these people. And in some form you regained your integrity because it feels like a lie for so long. And now you are telling people the truth about who you are. About two days before I was supposed to return to work I got a message on my phone from someone I knew. Everybody knows. The leadership talked about it. Everybody in the office knows. It's... It's out there. Going back to work those first couple of days afterwards was terrifying. I reported to my new job at Division Headquarters. And I was on a Thursday. On Friday I was told that I was gonna immediately go back to my old regulations. Have my hair cut with the male regulations, that I was gonna correct people with the male pronouns, I was gonna use male gender segregated facilities, My command barked that I was making all this up, that I was lying about it. And they were concerned that this was just for attention. They ordered me to go and speak t the local psychiatrist. This provider decided that I wasn't transgender. There was a concern that if they had diagnosed me as transgender, that they would be forced to discharge me from the Military. And everything that I'd been so positive on over the last few months had been taken away. No one ever talked to me about my work. No one ever discussed the products that I should be doing or the performance that I had. I'd sort of been relegated to a corner where no one wants me. So apparently somebody complained that I was using the female bathrooms. And I tried to explain to them that I didn't feel safe using the male bathrooms. If you start looking at sexual assault rates across the Military and how many happened I'd post and then you end up in a bathroom early in the morning before anyone else gets there or you're working late at night. No, I don't feel safe in there, I don't feel safe in an all-male bathroom. And so I was told that I could either used the male bathrooms or there was a porta potty out back from the construction that was going on. And so I could leave the building and go outside and use that. Even on my most difficult days, I come home and I've got a wife and three kids who need me emotionally. And they need me physically to be here and go do things with them. Autumn, I found another present you haven't opened. Autumn. So the first thing when we got out here, we completely separated our family life from the military life. It's really hard to do, Because the Military promotes, you know family involvement so much. And they have barbecues and get togethers and holiday parties, I was told that I wasn't allowed to attend any more unit functions. That couldn't come to hail and farewells and organizational days. I've put in 11 years of my life I've deployed every combat zone that my generation have served in. I deserve to be there as much as anyone else. This is my army too. - Hi, babe. I missed you. - I missed you. - Your hair looks good today. - Your face looks good today. [Logan] Honestly, if it wasn't for missing you and wanting just to be back in the States in general, I would extend out here. I totally would. - Please don't do that. - But it's been great 'cause I am seen 100% as male, and I'm not questioned uhm... about anything. I can grow my male rags and standards and grow my horrible mustache. Which by the way, babe, I really don't like your mustache. You know when I... when I grew it out the first time when we first got here you hated it, you hated it, you hate, hate it, hate it and then when I shaved it off you're like, "You know what? I... I actually liked it, I kind of miss it. Okay, okay, okay. I'm gonna go grow mine now, so you can see how it feels. [laughter] But for real, if you do have an extra facial hair from electrolysis, I will take it. [music] [laughter] [Laila] I grew up in Honolulu, Hawaii, with, uh, my family. I'm the oldest of four children. My brother is in the Army and my younger sister is in the Navy. And my dad was in the Army before as well. As far back as I can remember actually, um, I never identified as being a male. Once I realized that I was way different from the other children I was too afraid to explore the possibility of even being transgender because I come from such a... a religious family that wasn't an option. [sea waves lapping] During my first deployment, I didn't really see eye to eye with my family based on my life choices. When Laila did eventually come out I was in denial. I was mad at... at Laila. The exact phrase I remember telling them was, I felt like I wanna be a woman. I didn't know what transgender was. I didn't know there were other people out there that were just like me. For a long time I was not accepting it because I felt this is my child, I brought her into this world as the opposite gender. I threatened Laila, I said, "You're gonna do that, I'm gonna disown you. Don't shame me like that." [Laila] I didn't hear from them for several months into the deployment. That probably crushed me more than having to leave home. There was a mission that we were tossed out to do and early in the morning, we got notification that the mission had been dropped and it was given to our sister unit. The mission also called for an extra vehicle and a driver. Because I was not in the area, they had pulled my vehicle and one of the troops that I work with. From what we were told, there was a Pressure-Plate IED and it detonated right underneath his seat. [Laila's mom] We got a call from the Commanding Officer for the families to come to the armory up in Wahiawa because there had been a death. My gut, I needed to pick it up off the floor, a lump in my throat and shaking. [Laila] I remember coming back to my quarters that day and there was a piece of paper on my door and they were messages from tons of people in the unit basically saying, "We love you and we miss you." Assuming that we were on that vehicle that day. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think that that could have been me. [Laila's mom] The minute Laila called home, I just balwed my eyes, I was like, "Are you okay?" [Laila] It took them years to come around, but they came around nonetheless. That's when I said to myself, "I've got to love him. You just have to love him." [Debbie] I've been on this journey with Logan from the beginning and I support him every minute. At first, I was thinking, you know, just tomboy. - Do you have that on video? - Yes. [indistinct] [Debbie] But, you know as he got older, I knew, you know that well, he's probably gay. Transgender, though? It's a term I was ever exposed to. He had to educate me. And he thought me a lot, he's always taught me a lot growing up, on what is normal. You know, you create your own normal. - Picture How does, blank, blank, blank? - You're guarding gr... [Debbie] You know, I would laugh and say, "Well, you know my lesbian daughter ended up turning out to be my straight son." [laughs] [Todd] My closest friends at work, they don't know. They know my daughter is in the Military and is in a Military MP and the police, and I keep a few people informed on, "Hey, he's... she's going to Afghanistan." You know, It's like I wanted to... I wanna be able to talk with some people at work about... you know, 'cause I'm proud. I mean, we're mechanics. You know, We're men mechanics and always got their opinion, but there's usually one opinion when it comes to this situation. Now, if they knew Logan's circumstance, I think they'd write me off as a friend. You know, and I almost second guess myself, "Do I really need these people as friends?" And right now, their opinion of my daughter being in the Military is one that I liked for them to have. It's honorable. But as soon as I would possibly mention that, I think they're going to do a 180 and I don't want their opinion of me or of my son to be that. [Debbie] The Military has you in these compartments, and you have to fit in to a certain group and Logan didn't fit in. I felt to blame. I was like, "Gosh, did I do that, just saying be yourself, be who you are?" [Todd] I don't know where the mix up was. If you want to call it that, you know what? Maybe I'm mixed up, maybe that's the norm, you know, I don't know. But I know that God created these people, this person and you need to accept that person for what that person is. Logan is the most caring person and that's what really matters to me. The bottom line is this is an American going fighting for your liberties that you have here. So, basically what happened, if I get quiet it's because somebody's coming by. My Homebase Commander called the commander here over my unit as a whole. Called him and said, "Hey. You're going to be getting an individual coming there. She's born female, though she doesn't look it at all." Because of them knowing, the leadership here, they told my Master Sergeant, called him in, "Sir, do you understand, uh, the situation and what's going on?" Him being himself was like, "Yeah. We fucking went to Fort Bliss together, we trained together, you know, there's nothing wrong with him. What's the problem?" and they're like, "She needs to be put in a female barracks. She needs to be addressed as such." And he said, "Let me correct you right there. His name is Logan. He is gonna to be living with his brothers. You don't need to be worried about him. We have everything figured out on our end." If anybody knew the policy, they could say, "Oh, hey. This Airman shouldn't be here anyway. This Airman needs to be kicked out." The more people who know, puts me in a really awesome position to get discharged. [music] [El] With me are like my five best friends since college. We all went to the Military Academy, went to West Point. I think it's been almost three years since all six of us have been together in the same place, at the same time. I'm headed out again here end of April to another deployment and so we were just like, "Hey, before I leave like, we gotta all get together." I love your face, man. This is the worst part of the fucking transition. - You don't seem to notice... - You have nice skin and then that shit goes. I saw your shit and I was, "Shit. Should I start taking some of the stuff too?" [laughter] I was like, my shit isn't even, what the fuck? I was so mad. I was mad. I was like damn. Your beard be on mother fucking fleek and I'm over here with this spotty patchy shit. Speaking of cosmetic changes, I took a look at a picture of myself when I was going to prep school, 19, and I look at my hairline. [laughter] I'm right here with you. The side effects of this shit. You know like, I tried to take a little sexy picture today and my hairline was like, "No, the fuck you won't." [laughter] [music] - [El's friend] That's what's going on? I'm sorry. - [El] Oh yes. You know, like you and like Clichy and even me sometimes would always be like, "You know, is El like a man? Is El gay? - Like, what's going on? - [overlapping talk] - Is so and so fucking with so and so?" - Let's ask the shit that you have been curious about but you just haven't asked about and maybe you're not... 'Cause to me, I hate misrepresenting people. I hate it when people misrepresent me. So, I don't want to misrepresent somebody to anyone else. You've been saying, "I'm El Cook. I'm a fucking man," your whole life. Yes. As a kid, like yeah, as a kid, I was like, " I knew this." At some point it becomes far easier, actually, to say that you're a lesbian than to say, "No, no, no, this is what I really am." Because if you're a trans, you're some kind of fucking mutant head. Right, anytime you talk about being trans, like for most people they generally have one question. Their mind goes to one place, like... Even top brass in the Army, and I know this because I've talked to them, right, it's just like: "what do your genitals look like?" That's really all they care about. Just like black people, trans people are not anomalies. You'll have men who have vaginas and there are women out there who have other... I don't ever want people to think that that somehow invalidates who they are. Like, I don't need to see anybody else's vagina or a penis to know that they're a man or a woman, nor do I care. If you tell people, "I've got something in the bar." and they're like, "I'm a woman." "Cool, you're a woman." So, to do in surgery and all that, like completing the transition, you are not like worried about negative like professional repercussions? Yeah, like, I think every day, every day of my life, right? I mean, they can still mess with you at a lower level, right? Like so they're like, "All right. Fine. We're not gonna try to discharge you and send it up, you know, but maybe, I will find everything about you to, like, - if you park and your tires are over the line," right? - Yeah. Yeah. Gonna cancel you. You know what I'm saying? If you show up, any less than 15 minutes early, right? Like, if you get any less than a 300 on, right? They can like still find ways. It kinda just makes me feel like, "Damn." Like, people are out there being hurt, being, uh, you know. There's like violence against them all because we can't open our minds and accept. This isn't what I've been told I'm supposed to like. The killings of three trans-women were reported over a 24-hour period. Another was killed the following day. These women are more than just a compilation of names, and ages, and stories of violence, and trauma. They were people, people living at a vulnerable intersection of race, gender and class. People whose names are only spoken by the majority of us when they can no longer respond. [somber music] The first time I met Laila was in the office, very bubbly, positive, the patients love her. We have gotten far more positive comment cards with Laila working on the front desk. Laila has had some challenges with her chain of command. We thought that she'd been treated differently. This place makes me like my stomach a little... I get knots in my stomach. - [guard] Morning. How are you today? - Good morning. Good. How are you? - [guard] Great. Have a great day. - Thank you. You know they'll come in. And they'll say, "You need to wipe off the blush off," and she's like, "I have no blush on." You know, or "Wipe off the mascara and so, like wipe it off. Just like it's nothing." Coming to campus, like, I don't know what's gonna happen today. We had unofficial meetings by [indistinct]. When the staff showed up for the meeting, we had to identify our gender. So, I just thought that was really odd to open the meeting in that way, but it was almost like they all had something against the gays, the lesbians, you know, and transgender. And so, all of them were always flagged. What can I possibly get into trouble for today? If I do the right thing, I get into trouble. If I do the wrong thing, I get into trouble. And if I ask a question or ask questions about it, I get into trouble. And so my experience with Laila, she's just an asset to the team, valuable. I'd like to see everyone be treated fairly. [somber music] Me and Logan are both in the Alpha vehicle at the front of the zoom. I'm the lead gunner and he's a lead driver. [suspenseful music] [Daniel] I consider Logan to be one of my better friends here. He's easy to get along with and a fun person to be around. You know what? This is as far I'm gonna go. Logan, being transgender, and us working outside the wire does not affect his ability to do the job. I'd say most days that we go out our mission, there's an element of danger involved And I have full confidence in him that he can get us through it. I don't feel burdened carrying the secret that Logan is transgender. It's Logan's personal life and I think it's his choice if he wants to let people know that. And I feel like he trusts me as a friend, him being okay with me knowing and talking to me about it. All transgender troops want to do is serve like every other troop. [Jesse] I actually met Logan when he came because of an injury that he had received as the course of the deployment. A couple deep breaths for me. I was a little surprised to find out that there was a transgender person who was deployed. By all accounts, you know he was just as qualified as anybody else who was there. It's like technically acquired this from an old DoD compound. I just keep all my shots in here and put them in a safe container for afterwards. Very conspicuous and in case somebody wants to go in there I have my prescription already put in it, so they can see it is legal. If you're doing it every week for over three years, you just kind of get used to it. [interviewer] Where's the most awkward place you've done this? I had to give myself my shot one time in a porta potty. This puts my stocks through for my natural middle range for my age group. And that's it. Oh my goodness. Like once in a lifetime chance this was seriously... So, Jesse messages me. He's like, "Hey, a really big 747 just landed." Perhaps, you know we ought to see if there's an opportunity to meet whoever had arrived. [Eric] Secretary Carter was sworn in on a Monday and we left Friday for Afghanistan, and we're in a hangar with, I don't know, a hundred troops. He's doing a question and answer session talking about priorities, taking questions. When I was sitting there listening to the Secretary of Defense deliver his update, I couldn't get away from this idea in my mind that there was this perfect opportunity to ask him a question about transgender service. And, You know, I turned to Logan and said, "If you could get up and ask a question what would you ask?" I'd probably ask him what his thoughts are on transgender troops serving in austere environment such as Afghanistan. The press were there, this was a high profile moment and I knew that there was no turning back if I asked this question. That it would be reported. It could potentially expose Logan in a way that would have jeopardized his deployment and his service and his career. [Logan] So, Jesse makes a beeline for the mic, introduces themselves and flawlessly asks that same question. What's your thoughts on transgender service members serving in an austere environment like this here in Kandahar? I'm in the back of the room and I hear, "transgender" and it sort of focused my attention very quickly as I raise my head, look around who's asking this question. Everybody in the room immediately looks over. Every cam in the room starts going nuts. We want to make our conditions and experience of service, uh, as attractive as possible to the best people in our country. I'm very open-minded about their personal lives and proclivities are, provided they can do what we need them to do. [Logan] Everybody gets up, we started heading over to Carter. Literally, at the last split second I decided to introduce myself. "Sir, I'm Senior Airman Logan Ireland. I am representing one of the 15,000 actively serving transgender members at the Military." His eyes bugged out, and he is the sweetest guy, and he's like, "Wow, this is... this is incredible. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for your service and having the integrity to come up here and tell me that." And he gave me a coin. Yes, it says, "Presented by the Secretary of Defense, United States of America." That was pretty cool. [reporter] During a Military Town Hall event yesterday in Kandahar, Secretary Carter expressed an openness to the idea of openly transgender service saying "only suitability for service should bar an American from enlistment." Does the President share Secretary Carter's views on this? Chris, I've seen the reports of Secretary Carter's comments. I can tell you that the President agrees with the sentiment that all Americans who are qualified to serve should be able to serve. For that reason, we here at the White House welcome the comments from the Secretary of Defense. [reporter] Secretary of Defense, Ash Carter has ordered a six-month study to review the Military's policies on transgender service members and to consider the effect that changing those policies would have. [reporter 2] The review includes looking at a 40-page document of medical conditions that preclude service including sexual conditions or disorders like transgender. But Officials say senior military leaders are pushing back with serious reservations. There are questions about where to house those troops, where do they go to the bathroom, what effect will it have on their units. [reporter3] Retired general John Kelly of the Marine Corps believes it may not be that simple. Right now if you are being medicated unless it's fairly temporary, you will get a discharge. It is my understanding that some transgenders need lifelong hormonal treatments, tend to depression issue in many cases. It goes back to this issue where it, does it make us more lethal? And I clearly would argue that it doesn't make us more lethal. We don't know if we're on track to get a change in policy but we've been hearing things from people we know inside the building, and some of them are positive and some of them are concerns. The deadline really is the election. There's just the political reality that a new president in their first term is not gonna necessarily wanna take on this issue. [Sue] I've gotten to know General Milley, and I asked him, "Can I come in and talk to you about it just to understand your issues, maybe provide some additional information?" He agreed to me, and that's what we're planning to do. [somber music] [Sue] The only thing I want to hear is I want to hear your intro. - My intro? - Yup. Good morning, sir. My name is Jennifer Peace. I'm a captain in the United States Army, currently stationed with the 7th Infantry Division at Fort Lewis, Washington. We're here for our soldiers and ourselves. Our concern is that we're being offended, but we are being able to provide you any answers to questions that you may have. I don't intend to have your job before you're done with it but if you could keep this seat warm and perhaps go ahead and settle their nameplates for the door. I think it would be beneficial to everyone. You're killing me. [laughter] [Sue] Gonna give her a heart attack. Seriously. Seriously. Really, General Milley may never have another chance to talk to a transgender service member before he makes a decision. And right now, I think the solution is looking for him to know where he really stands. This is gonna be a pivot point. It's gonna be a huge pivot point because if he comes out of here, even neutral, even neutral, we've won. We've won. [somber music] [Sue] Didn't start out bad. He basically said: "I'm opposed while I'm in here, you know, don't know what I don't know." He said look my job is readiness, it's not about equal opportunity or equality. My job is readiness. More like that's what we're all about. That's all yours. And Jenn said, "Sir, they treat me like a male soldier." He says, "Well, I don't actually want them to do that. They should treat you as a female soldier." Right, Is that what he said? It's like they're making you use male pronouns and I'm like, "Yeah." He's like, "And you going to... which bathroom are you using? I said, they want me using the male bathroom. And then he said like, "Like have you had surgery?" She said, "I've had three surgeries." And then he said, "What's up with your hair? I need to hear this story." I was just like, "Well, I keep it because I hope that it will convince people that I am a female soldier that I have to pass as one of them." [woman] And here is the other thing, he said, [Sue] "I just want you to know I had never met, to my knowledge, I have never met a transgender person." That means he's never knowingly spoken with a transgender soldier before. - And now it started [crosstalk] - Yeah, he needed to know, the applicants will tell you anything and you go, "Sir, I am not an advocate, I'm just a soldier." The questions he had, we had answers for all of them. He's like, "Transgender people commit suicide at four times the rate of everyone else, - Is that correct?" - And here's the thing, if you don't have access to healthcare and you don't have a job and you don't have social support, you are at risk for suicide. What do people in the army have? Access to healthcare, a job, social support. I have a tremendous experience and this very kind of real to me and maybe a little sobering. If I thought that the same thing that, you know, this four-star general Princeton Grad was struggling with in his mind is gonna be the same for the rest of, you know, for so many more Americans, specifically soldiers. [music] We turn now to North Carolina where a new measure restricting protections for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people is being called the toughest law of its kind in the nation. Well, here's the bottom line, the reason that the bathroom bill is center stage in the presidential campaign is because it represents more than bathrooms. Some would argue, I'm might, of an unraveling of our culture and perhaps our ability to plan for the future as a species. I'm Jessica Taylor, I'm an airline pilot, I am transgender. I wanna know, if you can see me, first of all, what would make you uncomfortable with me using the women's restroom? - [Anchor 1] She's a very attractive woman. - Well, - [laughs] - [anchor] Very. A lot of transgender people are not... a lot of people... a lot are not convincing in their presentation as the opposite of their biological sex. And so, it's obvious to the people who see them that this is actually a man in a dress and not a biological woman. OK, so who's gonna set the standard as to appearance of female? Is there gonna be a TSA watching the door of the bathroom and you're gonna say, "Oh, you're not womanly enough." I know a lot of women and that are very, you know, neutral in their gender and you're gonna tell them they can't... they got to go use the men's restroom now in North Carolina? Well, that makes sense. The point is... This is an issue that you and other transgender people - have brought on yourself by choosing to present yourselves... - Oh, wow. - as the opposite of your biological sex. [somber music] So, today is Friday the 24th, we'll be leaving out here on Monday. [Logan] I don't want to leave. I much rather stay here and extend if I could. I spent the last nine months being seen as myself, being seen as male. I've gone by male reg and standards, have lived with males without fault. I really don't wanna go back home and have to go by female reg, female standards. It sucks, 'cause out here people think of it as real shitty conditions. You're in Kandahar, Afghanistan going outside the wire and doing a dangerous mission. But I would much rather be here than home. [background talking] I'm really hoping that everything goes well, that with my home based commander when I tell him about myself and "Hey, I'm a trans-troop. I don't really want you to see me as that, but I need to tell you that." Maybe see if they can give me some leniency on dressing appearance, so I don't have to wear female dress blues. I really don't... I just can't fathom that... I can't fathom having to do that after being out here. [phone rings] - Hey. - Hey, my love. - We start boarding in an hour. - I miss you. - I miss you. Are you going to be able to sleep [chuckles]? - No, I'm not [chuckles]. [laughs] My transition experience is very different from Logan's. I've had a sit down with my, uh, my second supervisor. And my question to her was, do you think it will be best that I, you know, volunteer this information to our main supervisor? And she said, "You know what? Keep it to yourself. Don't say nothing because she's not for anyone that falls under the LGBT Umbrella." I've seen other people by the command, in general, in Hawaii, they have discharged, uh, service members for being transgender. I have to pretend that I am a male soldier. Every morning before I head to work, I spend at least 20 to 25 minutes fixing my hair. I carry around a printout of the AR 670-1 regarding the hair regulations for males, because I know that someone is going to say something to me. I slick it back and I part it, make it look convincing that I'm a male. This face doesn't even say male. It's crazy. Society has painted this picture that transwomen look like men in dresses where they wear makeup and glitter and they prance around and they're loud and that's all they do, but truth of the matter is they don't. [phone rings] Incoming call from husband. Hello? Babe? - [Logan] Where are you? - I'm driving. - Just FYI, I smell like shit. - I love you either ways, stinky or not. - How far away are you out of... - I don't know. - I'm just driving 60 miles. - 60 miles? - Yes. - Well, I'll message you whenever we leave here, okay? - Okay, I love you. - I love you. Bye. If you've met me in 2011 and told me that I was going to be marrying a man who also happens to be transgender, I would've told you to get out of here. That in itself would have been just like, "Who are you and why are you lying to me?" Like I know that... that no way, but here I am engaged to a transman from Texas who's in the Air Force. [music] [laughter] [music] How are you going to do this? How are you to do this? - Go into the road. - [laughter] [Debbie] We've been married for 11 years but together for 13. She decided to join the Military and so we married on a Saturday and she left for basic training that Wednesday. - Hold up. - [Debbie] Alright children, come here. [children laughing] - [Debbie] Love you. - Where's momma? - Oh, right here. - [Jenn] Where's mommy? Right here. [Debbie] I was about six months pregnant with Emilia when she told me she thought she was a transwoman. I absolutely thought at the time that it would go away. I ignored it for months and I would just become very angry every time she wanted to talk about it. [Debbie] I was scared she would get kicked out and she was the breadwinner of the family. I didn't know how we would move on with our lives if something happened. Um, I went through a grieving process. The very last stage, I finally grieved the person I thought she was. I had to say goodbye to this person that I thought she was. And all of a sudden, it was just different. It didn't matter, I didn't care, um, I just loved her. Being scared about the Military kicking her out, I just told myself we'll figure it out if something happens. But I need you to do this because I don't want to lose you. [Logan] So today, I'm being pulled into my commander's office, I don't know what he wants to talk to me about. We go in, he's like, "Hey man, just want to thank you for everything you did at Kandahar. Um, we heard really great things about you." And he said, "We have your back 150%. Whatever you need to do, do it." He's like, "Okay, um, you're blues. They... You're not wearing them, are you or are you not? Because you have female blues and those are way out of standard for you, you need to get rid of those." I'm like, "No shit?" [laughs] - So that means? - That means I got to go buy male blues. [laughter] I got so excited because that's huge. - This is the first to my knowledge. - Yeah. Yes, you're telling me to screw dressing and now I'm going by male dressing appearance standards too. So, I don't have to grow my hair out [laughs], and I can have a shitty mustache. [music] So this is where, like it becomes really irritating because... he has a situation where he has to wear a male uniform. And I have to go today... I have to go today and get my hair cut, because it's not within male standards. It's quite unfortunate. [background conversation] Whatever. They need a change of policy ASAP. - What? - [woman] Then in 15 minutes I can come and help. 15, huh. I cannot tell if these are clean. They smell clean. [music] I've been deployed before, twice. For a total of 24... 25 and a half months. This is going to be my second deployment to Iraq. I'm not out to anyone in this unit. I'm just gonna make sure everything that needs to get in here, gets in here. So, the coming out thing, I don't think it's simple. Imagine if you're my soldier or you're my battle buddy and I'm deploying with you and I tell you this thing. Now we're scheduled to be roommates, you have to sleep in the bed next to me. You share a room with me, right? So I've been the same person with the same deep voice, with the same five o'clock shadow, come 1:30 in the day. But now you're uncomfortable and you have a name for it. Then it becomes very much not about my comfort or my safety, it becomes about your comfort and your safety because you feel threatened that I'm the same person I was yesterday or an hour ago before I told you anything about me. [knocking] [Jean] I had to get ready he'll come in a minute. There's my son. Hey, my darling. No key. Oh. Oh, mama. - Alright. - I really have to get you a ride, for real. - No, no, no. - So, tell me about your leaving. - Leaving me. - My leaving. How many is going to deploy with you tonight? Total is like 1300 of us. It's like 10 flights over, you know, throughout the month. [father] If I told you what this day, kind of, has been like... That's why I try not to call you 50 times a day, - I only called you three. - Okay, that works. - And then I didn't talk long. - I appreciate it. El always identified with the boys and I just thought, "Oh, he's just going to be a tomboy like I was growing up." El came out transgender, it was like something had hit me in my chest. At the time he was away at West Point. And so he came home and he was saying things like, "Mom, you know you going to have to change those pronouns." And so, I would walk away not knowing what the heck he meant. Until one day I said, "What does that mean?." He said, "I'm transgender now." And I said, "Well, what does that mean?" She goes, "Okay. I mean, can't you just be a really masculine lesbian?" I had to go on the computer, I had to do a little research. I went to a pastor because I was so torn, I was so broken, I was looking for answers and he didn't seem at all surprised. And he said, "well, Jean, just simmer down, he said you know he'll be all right and you'll be all right." And so he took me to, I think it was the 3rd chapter, I think of John the 35th verse where Jesus was speaking to his disciples. And he left his last commandment, "As to love everyone as I have loved you. And people will know that you are my disciples by your love." He said,"put a period there and keep on living and let El keep on living his life." - Oh... - Sure. You got big muscles. [El] She went from being "I don't understand this" to "I'm your biggest cheerleader." Any slight talk of discriminating against a trans-person and she's like, "Do we need to go to Capitol Hills? Should I write Obama." Yes, but I have had a long day too. Tell me about it, what did you do? - Prayed and cried. - Cried and prayed. Prayed to God. Shift me. Shift me back and forth. - Love me. - Love. Let me ask you this. Would you please stay in touch? Keep your... keep your phone charged up. [somber music] - Send me on my way. - Straighten up. Up and up and out. - [father] Christ. - [Jean] Our Father and our God, hear us as we pray. Protect him every step of the way. - [Joan] You're going to leave me? - [El] I'm going. I'll be back. [Jean] I guess, like every parent, they have that fear and they have that anxiety about their child going off to war. [music] [Jenn] When I first started working here. I didn't know who knew that I was trans. It's been a big deal the last couple of units that I've been in. I was here in two or three months before I even knew that the Command was aware. The leadership here is amazing. [Jenn] Going to Mississippi for a week and then I go to the desert. So when you go out like, you're driving your truck and just sleep in the truck or whatever that you're in or on a rock somewhere. And then in the garrison it's like a big, long, open tent with like 12 bunk beds. They'll have so many female tents, then so many male tents. I'm hoping it goes smooth, but kind of worried about that. [Jenn] I am here at Fort Hunter Liggett for an exercise and I am sleeping in the female barracks. I took a shower in the female shower, use the female bathroom and now I'm relaxing in bed, getting ready for work tomorrow. There hasn't been an issue. I don't expect there's going to be an issue. I may be the first transwoman sleeping in female barracks in the Army. It shouldn't be any more complicated than that. Good night. [phone ringing] - Hey. - Hey. How are you? A little stressed out, babe. A little bit. You want to talk about it or... No, I just have stuff on my uniform and it's like I'm on crunch time right now, but whatever. What's going on? Well, you look good in it. If that, that means anything. Crazy. [Logan] So, I have an exception to policy letter, which means I can go by male regs and standards and be seen as male. Laila, my fianc, my rock, my everything, she's got nothing. And I almost hate when I have something positive to tell her about my day like, "Well, I got to do this." When hers is, it's almost never in a positive note. So, how's your out processing going? Uhm, out-processing is out- processing, and it's become a hassle running back and forth because I don't have certain things and my gender marker isn't right in the system. You know how that goes, so... Trust me, I definitely know. I would say that I'm excited about the fact that when this policy changes, I'm not going to have to slick back my hair anymore, but unfortunately I won't be in to see that change, but I'll be alive to see that change, so... - Yes. - That's a good thing. [Laila] So I felt that my leadership was basically building a case against me. Anyone who has served knows that a dishonorable discharge means you don't retain any benefits at all. I wouldn't be able to get a job on the outside. And so I chose to stick with the honorable discharge and the medical separation because I wanted to retain my benefits. Everything that I worked for in 12 years. - [man] Does it snow in Oklahoma? - [Laila] I don't know. Well, it did when I went for basic training. That was at Fort, so, that's about an hour away. What is it there to do in Oklahoma? I've never been. Depends on what part of Oklahoma you're in. Like, where I'm going to be at, there's nothing. Where's Oklahoma? Is that the south? Is that the north? - West. Midwest. - West? Midwest? - Central. - Central. Yeah, Central. West Central. - Is that it? - I'm just trying over here. There's so much there. Okay. So like, places like that, that's what get you like, scared. I think it's just like that with anywhere, though. I'd be scared, except here. It says, "Oklahoma law does not address discrimination based on gender identity or sexual orientation." Oh, I don't know if it's joking. [laughs] What is... What does it say? State law does not address hate crimes based on gender. So there's no laws that address... So basically you're unprotected. Kind of, sort of, yeah. - Yes, see I don't know. - You'll be fine, though. Yeah, I think so, I think It'll be fine. The Republican presidential contest is heating up. I do not appreciate using our military as a laboratory. The Military is not a social experiment, the purpose of the Military is kill people and break things. [interviewer] If Caitlyn Jenner would walk into Trump Tower and want to use the bathroom, - you would be fine with her using any bathroom she chooses. - That is correct. LGBT is starting to like Donald Trump very much like lately, I will tell you. [applause] This is our meeting with the chief staff of the Army, we've been back for multiple meetings. I'm meeting with the Commandant of the Marine Corps. I'm meeting with the Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs. [Jenn] I wish I knew like, what they want to know. I wish I knew what it is that they want to hear from us or what piece of information they feel like is missing. We talked about like, this is what we think bathroom policy should look like, this is what we think PT's policy should look like and they kept getting caught up on, "Well, what if a service member needs longer? What if they're not ready? What if there's a transitional time? What if a service member fails a PT test after transition?" - Then they fail a PT test. - Right. And the one guy goes, "What if a transgender service member has other issues outside of being transgender?" - Well, what issue? - I'm like, I don't know. [Sue] If we couldn't get this done before this president leaves office, it could be another five to ten years. My biggest worry is, "Holy shit, if we're where we thought we were, these questions should've been asked six months ago. They should've been answered in fucking January." What are they still doing?" [Sue] So, we were still trying to get a meeting with the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs and it's the end of June. So we get this requested meeting with the Secretary of Defense. We didn't see this coming, no. We did not expect this meeting to happen. Every other meeting we've gone into, you always hope that they introduce you to more people and there's another meeting. And I don't think anybody's thinking about that today, I think today is the last meeting there can be. After we talked to the Secretary of Defense, I don't... I don't know that there's a follow on that you need to have. There's nowhere else to go. I'm hoping that today it's happening because they're preparing to release the policy soon. - Good. - Okay, you guys ready? - Yes, ma'am. - All right, let's rock and roll. [energetic music] Good afternoon, everyone thanks for being here. I'm here today to announce some changes in the Defense Department's policies regarding transgender service members. The Defense Department and the Military need to avail ourselves of all talent possible, in order to remain what we are now the finest fighting force the world has ever known. Last July I directed the commencement of a study to identify the practical issues related to transgender Americans serving openly. We had to look carefully and deliberately, but medical, legal and policy considerations that... We had to take into account the unique nature of military readiness and make sure we got it right. I think it's fair to say, this has been an educational process for a lot of people here in the Department, including me. I'm announcing today that we're ending the ban on transgender Americans in the United States Military. Yes, yes, yes! Taking these steps, we're eliminating policies that can result in transgender members being treated differently from their peers based solely upon their gender identity rather than upon their ability to serve. We're confirming that going forward, we will apply the same general principles, standards and procedures to transgender service members as we do to all service members. Policy has been changed, ya'll, hallelujah! [laughter] Oh my God. All this is definitely hitting me a little more than I thought it would. [sighs] It's just nice to finally be recognized and to hear someone else say all the things we've been saying. Yeah, it's a good day. [background conversation] I'm looking up like, wedding dances. I can barely walk in a straight line. I mean, you want me to dance? - Shopping, shopping. - Okay. - I got pepper, pepper. - Oh, put on some sea salt. - Salt, salt. - Oh. That's good. That was good. - You all right, Laila? - Yeah. You ready? You can chicken out if you want right now, you know. [laughter] I love you. [music] [applause] [news anchor] The Republican nomination for the US Presidency was finally settled. John Kasich's exit today after Ted Cruz's last night... We gave it everything we've got. - ...left it all to one person. - The voters. - Maybe you've heard of him. - We had a tremendous victory tonight, It was a tremendous victory. So when the ban was lifted, I was in Taji, Iraq and we were supporting an advise and assist mission to help the Iraqi army into Mosul to defeat ISIS. We were are all sitting around the table, I'm just nervous, I'm sweating. I'm just like, "Oh, God." Like, "How am I going to like, how am I going to tell them, but I have to tell them." Then I said, "T, I want you guys to know something about me, this is who I am and this is... These are the steps I'll be taking once we get back to the States, but I want you all to know that." And it was so inconsequential to them that it was like, "You're ours, you're my officer, you're my leader, we don't care. Pass the ketchup, pass the hot sauce. Let's eat so we get back to the office." [news anchor] Four polls that have Clinton up by at least 10 points, could we be seeing our first true landslide in a long time. [Logan] I am preparing to take the AFOQT which stands for the Air Force Officer Qualifying test. I've been doing math tutoring on my days off, paying out of pocket. I want to stay in the Military until retirement and why not take a shot at becoming an officer? [news anchor] At this point, it seems the election could be won by either candidate. [new anchor 2] The latest average of national polls shows Hillary Clinton about two points ahead of Donald Trump. [Colonel Isenhower III] We watch very closely company command positions because we put a lot on the shoulders of company commanders. They have incredible responsibilities, they can exercise the Uniform Code of Military Injustice and they can also adjudicate law. These positions are revered in our army necessarily and we choose very carefully. [commands] It's my prerogative alone who takes that company command but I asked five key leaders who are my closest advisers, who they thought should be the next Headquarters and Headquarters Company Commander and their recommendation was unanimous. They all thought Captain Peace was the clear choice. If somebody asks me if Captain Peace serving in my unit was a social experiment, my retort would be pretty clear and pretty quick. I don't experiment with command positions. That position was clear and obvious for me that she was right for the job. Her performance and her potential were outstanding and frankly, outpaced those of her peers. This is one of the greatest organizations that I've had the opportunity to serve in my career. I look forward to being able to support and enable you in the mission of the years ahead. - Head Hunters. - [applause] Right now, a historic moment. We can now project the winner of the Presidential Race CNN projects. Donald Trump wins the Presidency. [applause] [Lindsay] What we're going to learn today, is about transgender individuals. Without further ado, I want to introduce Laila Ireland. [clapping] Um, Aloha and good morning everybody. Like Lindsey said, I am a transgender individual. I'm an Army Veteran. Since I left the Military, I've been able to go on these speaking engagements where I talk about being trans in the Military. I came out to my parents two weeks before I actually left home to deploy. It was tough. It was a tough time and... I really wish that I could still be in the Military and put the uniform on, but my purpose is now to make sure that this doesn't happen to anybody else. I was at a 30-plus day training rotation in the middle of Fort Bliss, Texas/New Mexico and I... You know, I just started getting these texts, and it's just like, "I'm so sorry, are you okay?" I'm like, "My parents die?" I'm like, " What is going on?" I didn't even see it on Facebook. I asked them and I was like, "What do you mean?" And they like, you know "The President's tweets" [crowd chanting] [music] [crowd] 15,000. Thank you for your service. 15,000. Thank you for your service. 15,000. Thank you for your service. [reporter] Secretary of Defense, James Mattis, is reportedly appalled by the President's decision to ban transgender people from serving in the Military. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. [reporter] Thursday, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, General Joseph Dunford, released this written statement, that there will be no modifications to the current policy until the President's direction has been received by the Secretary of Defense and the Secretary has issued implementation guidance. In the meantime, we will continue to treat all of our personnel with respect. [Gen Mark A. Milley] But I do want to reiterate one thing up front. Uh, it's this issue of the transgender news that came out, uh, the other day. Uh, and it should be no surprise to anyone, but the entire force, the entire chain of command will, always has, will today and will tomorrow and always should, treat every single soldier, sailor, airmen, marine, coastguard with dignity and respect for their service and the Cloth of our Nation, bar none. [reporter] Why did you try to announce the transgender ban reversal a couple of weeks ago? - Are you betraying a community that you pledged to support... - No, no. Look, I have great respect for the community. I think I have had great support from that community I got a lot of votes. But the transgender, the Military is working on it now. They're doing the work. It's been a very difficult situation. And I think I'm doing a lot of people a favor by coming out and just say it. As you know, it's been a very complicated issue for the Military. It's been a very confusing issue for the Military and I think I'm doing the Military a great favor. [Logan] What's the future going to hold for me in the Military? This is what I want to do, this is what I'm focused on. Now, you're telling me I can't because of what standard or what reason. You know, if you give me facts, then we can talk about it but I don't see facts right here as to why I can't become an officer. You know, are we still going to be allowed to deploy and we're still going to allow, you know, going to different training opportunities. Uh, what's that going to be for medical? Are we still going to get the same medical benefits? My wife and I, we have to put adoption processes on hold because I don't know if I'm going have a job come March. I don't know what the future looks like. People that enter the Military, they want the same things, right? They want a better future, they want a more stable foundation, they want education benefits, medical benefits, to do something that's bigger than them, to serve for their brothers and sisters, and I want the same thing. So, my future is the same future as everybody else in the Military. Why are you denying me that... that want to serve? [dramatic music] [Elle] Please welcome Laila and her husband, Staff Sergeant Logan. [Applause] [music] |
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