CHEEKY!
Moira.
- Are you Italian?
- Venetian, how did you know?
I was married to an Italian
and you speak English like him.
Are you looking for a house?
More than anything a little apartment,
inexpensive though.
I need it for four weeks.
In what area?
Close to the Hyatt Park Hotel
if possible.
I work there. I'm doing an internship
as a receptionist
and right now I'm living
in a very small room.
And it doesn't work for you.
Yes, it's fine, but in 10 days
my boytriend will be coming for a full
immersion course in English and...
Fiance?
A little bit...
I understand...
Basically you are looking for a room
for a sexual full immersion course...
I wish...
I believe I might be able
to help you...
Not in the area
that you want though...
- Ah, no?
- No.
Where then?
Follow me, I'll show you.
We are in Chelsea and your hotel
is here, in Nates Bridge.
I have a loft on the Thames,
right where the docs are.
It's not too far
from the Hyatt Park Hotel.
With the metro you can get
there very quickly.
Where is it exactly...
- Oh?
- Here...
What happened?
Did you get an electric shock?
No, my nipples are rather sensitive...
He is a lucky man.
What's his name?
Who?
The boy that is going
to meet you in London.
- Matteo.
- It's too bad he's coming...
You could have stayed
at my place for free.
Since I got separated,
there's much more space there.
Can we go and check it out?
Yes, but not today,
I'm the only one at the agency.
How much is it?
It depends on you...
Does he kiss them well at least?
He's not bad at all.
Men don't know anything
about what women like.
Oh, but Matteo, really...
Bullshit, they're all the same
and they only think
of what makes them happy.
No Moira, please...
Why not, I know you like it...
Tell the truth you little piglet,
in Venice also, you walk around
without your panties?
Oh, I am a little allergic...
You are humid like your city...
Ah.
Stop it Moira, please.
I don't want to...
Liar.
So, I'll see you tomorrow
to go see the loft?
All right, at what time?
At 10 o'clock here...
By the way, what is your name?
Carla Borin.
Carla, nice name...
Carla the Venetian.
Thank you.
See you tomorrow.
These designers are so boring...
You know what I think
when I see all these curves?
You don't have to tell me.
A nice fuck, that's what we need
to feel relaxed before the exam.
You can always masturbate...
Already done, my friend,
already done,
thinking of that slut, Giulia...
I get a hard on right away.
- Giulia who? Paolo's girlfriend?
- Paolo's girlfriend officially,
but in practice,
everybody's girlfriend.
I don't believe it, does Paolo know?
He is the only one
who doesn't know,
or at least that's what he makes you
believe. Tell the truth Matteo,
- you've thought about Giulia, too.
- That's bullshit, I only think of Carla.
Even when you masturbate?
Especially when I masturbate.
Really?
And what do you think about?
Regular stuff...
Naked.
I am on bottom
and she's on top.
Shit, you really don't have
any imagination.
I thought you were at least
imagining her doggie style
with an English guy.
Why should I think of her
with some other guy?
Well, when there is no sex
for a while...
How long has it been
since Carla is in London?
About a... month.
And you think that someone
can go one month without fucking?
You're obsessed with sex.
It's not like that
for women, you know?
Feelings come first for them.
Bullshit, they are just better liars,
and they know how to fake it better.
They too get wet first
and then they fall in love.
Stop it, come on.
- Not all of them, come on.
- All of them.
All of them.
That's why I like them so much,
because they are all whores.
- Hello?
- Hi, my love, it's me.
Carla.
Are you happy to hear from me?
Yes, of course, very happy.
Why are you calling?
Oh well, because I miss you,
what's going on?
- You sound weird...
- No, no, I just wasn't expecting this call.
How is London?
Oh it's beautiful,
you should see... Ah.
What's going on?
Nothing.
I'm staying in shape for you.
I am doing the bike exercises...
Oh Matteo, I can't wait
for you to come here.
I'll be there soon.
Did you find the apartment?
That's why I'm calling.
Tomorrow I am going to see
one on the Thames.
On the Thames?
It must be expensive.
Well, Moira is going to give me
a pretty good deal... Ah.
Who is Moira?
The owner of the real estate agency...
I think she really likes me.
What do you mean,
she really likes you?
Well, I think she is a lesbian,
and she wants to sleep with me.
She wants to sleep with you?
Are you crazy Carla?
No, I'm just lusting...
- Matteo, can you hear me?
- Yes I can hear you.
Did she try already?
No, no, but come here soon,
I'm tired of being alone.
Swear to me that nothing happened.
Oh Matteo, you are boring.
You know that without you
sex doesn't exist for me.
So why do you think
that she wants to sleep with you?
Well, you know how it goes.
Some things can be understood
between women...
Are you telling me
the truth, Carla?
Of course, silly...
Listen, do me a favor:
Before you leave,
go to my place
and ask my mom to give you my panties,
the ones with the butterfly,
and the book
on dream interpretation.
Although the interpretation
of every dream is always coitus,
I miss that book.
Do you miss me?
Well you can always be replaced...
Maybe with Moira.
Tell me the truth, Carla.
Did you two already do something?
The phone card is almost empty,
come Matteo.
Please, come soon.
I need you.
Oh...
Speak of the devil...
Screw you.
Do you know that statistically speaking,
cheat while they're on vacation?
Carla is not in vacation.
Is it here?
No, we can only
get up to here by taxi,
but the entrance
is on Riverside walk.
Wow, it's so beautiful.
I'm glad you like it.
The bathroom is over there.
I am sure Matteo will like it.
It's probably
very expensive, though...
Matteo?
Oh, yes, your boytriend...
Well don't worry about the price,
I am sure we can find
an agreement...
I'll take it then.
I dreamt of you last night...
Oh really?
You were naked.
Really?
And what was I doing naked?
You were riding a wave
and sweating...
Freud will definitely say: coitus.
I like you Carla.
Oh, what are you doing?
- I want you.
- No Moira, please. Oh.
Why not, I know you like it.
- Don't resist me Carla, don't fight it.
- Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Oh. Make me come.
Oh. Make me come, Moira, please.
Make me come.
Who is it?
Good Morning, Mr. Borin,
it's me, Matteo.
I'm sorry to bug you.
I came to pick up Carla's stuff.
I'm going to London next week,
- and this way I can bring it to her.
- What stuff?
Well, she told me
she explained it to her mom.
My wife is not here right now.
Do you know what it is about?
Well, yes, more or less...
A pair of panties and a book.
Wait a second. I am going to see
if my wife prepared them for you.
"The more I wank it,
the less I come."
"I love you, Ale."
"Big slut Nina."
"The thought of you cheating on me,
makes me crazy jealous...
And jealousy...
makes me a lust maniac."
I could go nuts thinking
about you cheating on me.
Impossible, because
you'll never know.
Don't joke Carla, I feel like dying
just thinking of you with someone else.
- Thinking of me how?
- Like this?
Like this, like this.
You'll never know it, never.
Never.
Oh, Oh...
Are these the ones?
I don't know,
there should be a butterfly...
No butterflies here.
Come up and look for it, come on.
You could've called
before coming.
I'm sorry.
I thought everything would be ready.
Eh, ready my ass.
You look for it.
Thank you.
It'll take me a second.
If you need anything
I am in the other room.
Here they are,
the book and the panties.
"My dear Charlotte,
it is impossible for me
to live without you...
I think about you all the time...
I love you, my love?
I love you, Bernard".
You whore.
Did you tell Matteo about the loft?
Of course.
I called him telling him
that I was going to check it out.
And did you talk to him
after you saw it?
Not yet.
But I'll tell him that I rented it.
And that's all?
What else there is to say?
You can tell him about me,
for example.
Yes sure, I'll tell him
that you took me there.
Come here, come on, it's great.
Moira...
Moira, where are you going?
Moira.
So many questions...
Get out of the water
and follow me.
I love you Carla.
Come live with me.
Come on, Moira.
What are you saying?
You know that Matteo
will be here soon...
So what?
I am not jealous.
Matteo is jealous.
Forget him.
Oh, hey, are you crazy?.
I like men.
What do you think?
I am not a...
Lesbian?
Yes, lesbian.
Like you.
Ah, you hurt me.
I don't like it when you are violent.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry,
I didn't mean to...
Oh Carla.
Let's go, come on.
Let's go get a massage.
You go.
Go.
There's a masseur...
I am here for the pictures.
Carla Burin.
You should choose the ones to print.
Not all of them are good.
Come over here.
Put the negatives there.
I still can't make anything out.
Here.
What do you think?
You see that not all of them
are good?
In your opinion,
which ones should I discard?
The unfocused ones
and the blurry ones.
You choose them.
I'll come back tomorrow
to pick them up.
- Hello?
- Hi my love,
- I have some great news.
- Who is it?
Just go mom, go.
You're being very mean
to your own mother.
Hello?
Matteo, can you hear me?
Yes I can hear you.
Guess where I am?
In bed with the real estate agent?
Silly.
I am at the loft, it's gorgeous.
She was in love with you then?
I am afraid she was...
Do you have a pen?
- Why do I need a pen?
- To write down the address.
I don't know if I am coming.
What do you mean?
I might not be able to make it.
What are you talking about,
are you crazy?
- No, I just need to prepare for an exam.
- Well, can't you just prepare for it here?
No, I can't.
Why not?
The loft is really quite nice,
you can study
as much as you want.
And then I will be here.
- Exactly.
- Exactly?
Nothing.
I was just saying...
I don't understand, don't you feel like
spending time with me?
Imagine what we can do after
not seeing each other for three weeks.
Don't insist Carla, I told you
that I can't, and that's the end of it.
I don't believe you,
you're joking,
you're doing it to upset me.
Come on, write down the address.
- I told you that I'm not going to come.
- Write it down anyway.
Oh, Carla, you are so annoying,
tell me.
Phone number: 004464567876...
- Did you write it down?
- Yes.
I wrote it down, yes,
but it's useless.
Why are you acting like this, Matteo?
What happened?
What happened is that
I've had enough.
Are you tired of me?
Don't be like that, please.
Are you worried
about the exam?
You worry me.
Why don't you understand?
What should I understand, Matteo?
Please, tell me you are coming--
I've already told you no.
Bye.
You asshole, these were for you.
You bastard, fuck you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
- My love.
- You missed me then.
Oh, it's you...
Why, who were you
expecting it to be?
Nobody.
- How's it going?
- Everything's fine.
- You don't sound very happy.
- No, no, it's just...
With all this space around me,
I feel a little lonely...
That's what I thought.
That's why I am calling you.
- Do you feel like going to a party?
- A party?
A party at my place.
Well, I don't know...
when?
Tonight. There'll be a lot of people,
also a bunch of Italians.
Well?
All right...
Why not?
Where do I need to go?
Okay, I just need to put something on
and I'll be there.
Don't put too much on...
you know...
- See you later.
- See you soon, ciao.
Asshole.
Oh, you're here, too.
Of course, I wasn't going
to miss Paride's contest.
Who knows who's going
to win this year...
It depends on what Paride thinks.
Oh then it's fine,
she's got good taste.
If they had an award for usury,
you would win for sure.
The face can be deceiving
but not the ass.
Don't you know
that it's the mirror of the soul?
Why is it laughing?
Who?
That ass, it has dimples
on the cheeks.
I think it's making fun of us...
It deserves a lesson.
Yes, yes, it needs to be punished.
Ouch, you idiot.
Your ass is sad because of all the dicks
that have screwed it.
How fun.
I might go compete myself.
No, it wouldn't be fair, darling.
With your ass,
you'd win for sure.
Cheers.
Can I ask you to introduce
your friend?
Of course, my dear:
Carla, a client of mine.
Mario, my asshole
of an ex-husband.
She talks like that
because she's still in love with me.
Are you Italian, too?
- Yes, from Venice.
- Ah nice, very nice.
I adore Venice,
especially Venetian women.
Careful Carla,
don't get caught up in it.
Mario enchants women
like snakes do to the frogs.
What are you saying Moira,
as if I were a playboy.
Worse darling, worse,
you are only a Latin lover.
Don't listen to her.
Do you want to dance?
Sure.
I'd bite it.
Every year, there's someone
that tries to be smart.
With Moira around...
I've always asked myself...
Who's designing Reggini's hats?
Some dickhead, I'm sure.
The scent of Venice.
I like women that get wet
right away.
It's just the champagne
trying to come out...
Where is the restroom?
Over there, in the back.
Carla...
Is it true that in England,
they don't kiss women down here?
They do something else
to compensate.
What?
- They do it from this side.
- No, what are you doing?
Like the satyrs do it...
in the streets of Gomorrah
or the sacred alleys of Sodom.
Carla, are you there?
Open Carla, I know you are there.
One second.
Great choice, my dear.
A true treat.
I invited you
because I am in love with you.
Not to be that asshole
of my ex-husband's whore.
I don't give a fuck.
How do I have to tell you
that I don't give a fuck about you.
I like men...
Do you understand it, yes or no?
Men, not women, men...
I like cock.
Calm down, Carla.
What's going on?
Is there something wrong?
You can tell me everything,
I am your friend.
I didn't want to offend you.
It's not your fault.
It's Matteo's fault.
I don't understand anything anymore.
I was so excited to call him
and tell him about the loft,
and that idiot told me that he wasn't
coming to London anymore.
He was cold, mean, hateful.
He even hung up the phone on me.
Don't cry, darling.
I told you, men are all
big assholes.
Matteo wasn't like that before.
Everything was fine between us.
Here, as a pledge of love.
It'll bring you luck.
I don't understand.
Something must have happened.
No, but I, on the other hand,
do understand very well.
And I know what you're
going through. I've been there too.
Never trust men.
They're moody, unreliable...
listen to me, my darling,
forget about Matteo.
Tell him to go fuck off,
like I did with Mario.
Come on, let's go.
Let's go.
You see, Carla?
We don't need men.
We can do it ourselves.
Famous architects, sculptors,
and writers from all over the world
were drawn to Doge's Court
because of its charm.
Thus, the profits that came
from the market of silk and spices
were invested to embellish the city
with a splendor
that, as intended
by the Great Counsel of Ten,
had to reflect the immense wealth
gained from the commercial traffic.
In fact, the goal
of the Venetian Government
wasn't so much the conquest
of territory,
but rather the construction
of solid outposts
in commercial harbors
of the Balkan area,
from which they could
more easily penetrate
the rich silk and spice markets
of the East.
We can then affirm
with documented certainty
that the Venetian Republic's
penetration
of the Mediterranean markets...
What do you think: Does the word
"penetration" derive from "penis"?
... atypical in respect to...
I think it comes from "dick,"
our professor's dick.
Look at that ass.
... also to the political
and cultural affirmation of Venice,
we can accurately say
that the mercantile penetration
of Venice
was the base
of its own artistic splendor.
Behind the Aretino, for example...
Whore.
Asshole.
Matteo.
Surprise.
What about your exam?
I postponed it till September.
Do you always open the door
dressed like that?
Did you come here to fight?
You don't seem all that happy
to see me...
Of course, I am very happy.
The only thing is that I wasn't
expecting you any more.
Well, since I came over here,
can you let me in?
Instead of keeping me here
at the doorway?
I'm sorry, of course,
come in, come in.
Who is it at this hour?
Matteo, this is Moira.
The real estate agent.
Sorry, I am late to the office.
Come here and see
what a beautiful view we have.
Look at the panorama.
Very nice.
It must be very expensive.
Moira gave me a special deal...
Of course, I can imagine...
It's not the way you think.
Nothing happened
between me and Moira.
What is she doing here then?
She gave me a ride
last night with her car,
we went to the theater together,
and since it was late,
she stayed here for the night.
Naked...
and in bed with you?
Then, bye, Carla.
Bye Matteo, nice to meet you.
Carla told me a lot about you.
She told me about you, too.
Did you bring me
the dream interpretation book
and the panties with the butterfly?
I brought you these...
What does that have to do
with us now?
It has a lot to do with us.
A whole lot.
This is your ass,
am I right?
What the fuck were you doing
all naked at the beach?
Who gave you these?
How did you get them?
Don't you worry how I got them.
You just tell me:
what happened between you
and that fag of French guy
that was writing to you,
"Je t'aime, mon amour...
Je t'aime... "
It was a long time ago,
old news.
Old, my ass.
If you want to be with me,
you have to be sincere
and tell me everything.
- There is nothing to say.
- Nothing, huh?
Is it normal for you to have people
taking pictures of your naked ass?
It's not like you think.
We went visiting the structures
of the beach hotels built for tourists.
It was a trip organized by the school.
You know how those trips go.
On the train, in the kitchens,
in the tents, we were joking,
we were posing.
They were taking pictures of us.
We were just doing it for fun.
After lunch, we all went
to different places...
I found myself with Bernard
at the beach.
It was September, it was still pretty hot,
and nobody was around...
We got naked
and we went in the ocean...
- Naked?
- Of course.
It's not like we had bathing suits.
Keep going, don't digress.
There was a strange warmth
in the air,
the ocean was calm,
the sun was setting,
and the water was very calm
and inviting...
Then what?
Then that's it.
We got dressed.
Do you think I am an idiot?
I'm serious, nothing else happened.
It was just an innocent game.
When did that happen?
I told you, last year,
towards the end of September.
You were already with me then?
Well...
Yes, I think so, our story just started.
Tell me the truth.
You made love to him.
No, Matteo, I swear.
Don't swear.
Well, not really...
- A little bit...
- What do you mean a little bit?
Well we flirted a little bit,
he was aroused and he kissed me.
Where?
On your ass?
Tell me at least how long
your innocent flirt lasted?
A couple of months.
During Christmas Bernard left the school
and he went back to France.
Did you guys see each other again?
No, never, I swear.
I told you not to swear.
Did you write to each other?
For a little bit...
Those letters that you have.
- He wanted me to join him in Paris.
- And why didn't you go?
Because I fell in love with you.
I didn't care about him anymore.
Please Matteo, please.
- Quit torturing me.
- Quit my ass!
How could you do this to me?
While you were having
a relationship with me, eh?
I told you, it was at the beginning,
I didn't know I was in love with you yet.
The one with you, for me
was a story like the others.
I beg you Matteo...
Oh Matteo, let's make love...
I want to feel you inside of me.
All what happened doesn't count at all.
What counts is that I love you
and that I want you.
No, no, you are just a whore.
How did you do it with Bernard eh?
What did you do with that bastard?
Enough. Enough.
It's useless.
Your blowjobs don't arouse me
any more.
And I would be the liar, huh?
Uh, oh.
I want to know how many times
you cheated on me.
It's your last chance.
To be honest with me,
and to forget the belief that I have,
that our story is all a lie.
How did the plot with Bernard start?
If you don't feel like
telling it to my face,
write it at least,
in one nice letter full of details.
Like the ones that your Bernard
was writing to you.
And don't worry about offending me.
Your pretence and your silence
are much more offensive.
Matteo, my love, you should know
that there is no betrayal
if there is no illusion of closeness
due to the own presumption
or deceit from others.
But if you absolutely need to know,
don't be afraid, I'll tell you everything.
Do you remember that time when we went
to the Olympia's theater to see 'The Key'?
It was the end of October and with us
there was also Luca and Bernard.
It's nice though.
The husband is right to say,
"Under your false discretion, you are
the biggest whore of all the whores
that I met in my youth".
Well, I still don't understand where's
the fun part in being cheated on...
Oui mon cher, if there is no cheating,
there is no jealousy,
if there is no jealousy, there is no desire,
if there is no desire there is no sex.
- N'est-ce pas, Carla?
- It makes complete sense.
Dear Matteo, you need
to take cheating as a gift of love.
It's the magic potion that wakes up
who's been sleeping for too long.
Give me a break.
How can someone get aroused thinking
of his woman with someone else.
But... where is Carla?
Carla.
You, go over there, we'll go this way.
I was wet; watching that movie
made me horny.
- Carla.
- Come on Carla, it's getting old.
Carlina, come on sweetheart,
where are you?
Stop, Carla, come on.
What's the fun part in this whole thing?
BIG SLUT NINA
Hi Nina.
Are you still awake?
I'm ironing, I can't fall asleep.
You tell me.
- Your husband?
- He is working on the ship.
He's got the night shift.
- I'm sure it's hot over there.
- Also here.
I am all wet.
- Feel, feel this.
- Yes, yes.
Very wet.
Oh Matteo.
My vagina is burning.
Feel it.
Feel it.
Nina.
Someone's here.
Shut up, stupid, and fuck me.
It's my husband.
He likes to watch.
"The thought of you cheating on me,
makes me crazy jealous...
And Jealousy...
makes me a lust maniac".
Yes, my love, I'll come right away.
You were right, what happened
in the past doesn't count at all.
What counts is that
I am crazy about you.
Oh Matteo, I am crazy about you too.
Look.
I did what you wanted.
I don't need it anymore.
My love...
At the end I prefer
the doubt than the truth.
Your lies reveal your desires
more than any other confession.
Carla, swear that you will always lie to me.
Yes, of course.
As you wish.
Even if I really don't understand why...
Before, if I was lying to you it was because
I didn't want to lose you.
But why should I do it now?
Because if suspicion
makes me a jealous maniac,
jealousy makes me crazy
with desire for you.
Oh Matteo.
I love you.
Oh, my love.
I swear I will always lie to you.
What a whore.