Come in.
Father Burke, you'll have to come right
down. The provincial is here unexpectedly.
He brought the procurator with him.
I'll finish this chapter and join them.
Caesar is about to invade Gaul.
The provincial wasn't due until next month.
Don't you think you should hurry?
lf the suspense is killing you,
Father Peterson...
...we shall find out
what he has on his mind.
You've got them off again.
ln the Mohammedan religion,
I couldn't receive visitors any other way.
Have you been reading
without your glasses again?
- Now, you're eyes won't stand that.
- Please, l'm not a child.
When l'm so old that
my failing eyesight needs assistance...
...I'll be happy to turn over my desk
to the first replacement. Even you.
Well, you know you can't see a thing
without them.
Sometimes that may be a blessing.
Please don't take my arm.
That's not a Boy Scout uniform
you're wearing.
- Well, the doctor said--
- Never mind what the doctor said.
Good afternoon, Father Burke.
I thought you were waiting
for me below.
- l'd climb stairs for you any day.
- Didn't think I could make it?
- Good afternoon.
- Hello, George.
Oh, I hope that's money you have
in that satchel.
St. Anthony's could use a little.
Get those plans we've been working on
for the addition to the library.
I figured it out to a penny.
Won't cost over 4000. Or was it 8?
- Twelve thousand.
- I know it was in the neighborhood.
Didn't we add on to the library in 1932?
Well, there have been two
or three volumes written since then.
Would you have the college subscribe to the
Book-of-the-Month Club, and call it quits?
I don't think you could afford even that.
Excuse us, Father Peterson,
and never mind those plans.
Oh, yes, excuse me.
Difficulties, Ed?
Yes, Father, we've just had a meeting...
...of the province advisors
concerning your school.
St. Anthony's debt
is now over $ 170,000.
You aren't doing anything to decrease it.
Well, George, when I take a vow
of poverty, I go all the way.
You've been going a little too far, Father.
As far as I can make out, 85 percent
of your students aren't even paying tuition.
Eighty-five percent, eh?
That's even better that I thought.
The order appreciates your generosity.
But how do you expect the college
to pay its way?
Well, if I may coin a phrase,
''The Lord will provide.''
What the Lord doesn't, the order has to.
I think we'll do better this term.
I have some figures here.
Now, let me see.
- Father Peterson!
- lt won't be necessary.
You see, we've given this
a great deal of thought.
St. Anthony's College is to be closed.
Times have changed, Father.
Small colleges are picturesque,
but uneconomic.
Read the figures for yourself.
I think you will find it's for the best.
Besides you're too valuable a man
for us...
...to let you ruin your health
in this backbreaking job.
Too valuable, Ed?
- Or too old?
- You're not being put out to pasture, Father.
Santa Carla's wanted you
on its faculty desperately.
That was my school.
Santa Carla is one of the finest universities
in the country. Like Notre Dame.
Outstanding in scholarship and athletics.
Which one do they want me for?
Our order has a wise precept.
No man is left in one position long enough
to form an attachment for it.
ln my case, it was an oversight.
I first came to St. Anthony's
little more than a boy.
I returned a few years later
as an instructor.
Shortly after, as a professor.
You were one of my students, Ed.
Finally, they set me back
as father rector.
Most of us have no home.
Unfortunately, I have one.
And I wouldn't like to tear it down.
l'm sorry, but the decision's been made.
Unless you suddenly find $ 170,000.
I figure we should be able
to absorb St. Anthony's students...
...in our other schools in about six months.
You have another term here, Father...
...but try to keep expenses down.
l'm sure you'll be very happy
at Santa Carla.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Ed.
- Goodbye, George.
- Father.
Don't trip on that step coming down.
What's that all about?
lt's the students, Father.
I think it's meant for you.
Somehow,
they must have heard the news.
Over the National Broadcasting Company,
no doubt.
That will do, that will do.
I appreciate this touching display
of sentiment.
But aren't you being a bit premature?
The body is not cold yet.
St. Anthony's is not ready
for the ash heap, and neither am l.
This college will still be here
when your grandchildren are flunking out.
May I remind you, gentlemen,
that you're out of dormitories after hours.
There are examinations tomorrow.
And your lead tenor was off-key.
That was an excellent sermon, Father.
I was under the impression
Father Provincial ordered the school closed.
Only if we fail to solve
our financial problem.
- lt's a mere matter of money.
- That old stuff again.
We understood it was insurmountable.
Most of us are preparing to be moved.
''Why are ye fearful, oh ye of little faith?''
I know exactly
how I shall meet the situation...
...and as usual, I'll meet it single-handed.
But the amount I heard mentioned
was $ 170,000.
- How do you intend to get it?
- You will find the answer in Deuteronomy.
- Chapter 32, verse 15.
- ln Deuteronomy, Father?
Well, well, is there a Bible in the house,
or do you have to go to a hotel?
- Chapter 32, verse 15--
- I wonder what he means.
Deuteronomy.
- Thirty-two.
- Verse 15.
''The beloved grew fat and kicked.''
- What?
- What is that?
''The beloved grew fat and kicked.''
That's it.
108th Street.
- Morning Side University?
- That's right, Father.
Administration building's on the right,
the chapel's on the left.
- Where's the athletic field?
- Ahead a hundred yards.
Thank you.
Excuse me, but which one of you
is Mr. Buck Holman, coach of football?
I am, Father.
l'm Matthew Burke,
rector of St. Anthony's College.
Glad to meet you.
You scouting us today?
Well, only you, sir.
Could you spare me a moment?
Sure, they wanna abolish
spring training anyway.
Take over.
Put the red squad on the sledge...
...and blues back in scrimmage,
work their tails off.
And tell them to watch their language.
Hold it, boys.
Ready, set. One, two, three.
- Sit down, Father.
- Thank you.
Tell me. What's on your mind?
Well, l've come to offer you a position
at St. Anthony's College.
Father, if I could get free to go with you
and after my first game I may be...
...do you know my salary?
- A full professorship?
- Twenty-five thousand a year.
- Einstein gets 10.
- lt's an open market.
lf Einstein can figure a way
to beat Michigan state, he can get the 25.
l'm afraid l've been wasting
your time, Mr. Holman.
St. Anthony's couldn't afford
either of you.
How much can you afford?
A very little in cash, but a great deal
in gratitude and appreciation.
Those are rare items, Father.
You deserve a good man.
The only coach l know
that's within your price range...
...was kicked out of the game
a few years ago.
- Are you of a forgiving nature?
- Well, l'm in that business.
ln my book, he's one of the best.
Had a lot of tough breaks.
Maybe you'd be good for each other.
Maybe you could help him
and he could help you.
- Just don't tell him l sent you.
- Thank you.
- Very athletic young men.
- Oh, lay off, Father. He's mine.
Well, thank you. Thank you again.
l'm sorry to disturb the game.
But can anyone tell me
if a Mr. Steven Williams lives here?
Ask her, Father.
- Does he?
- What do you want with Steve?
l have a position to offer.
He's a little old for an altar boy,
but follow me, you look harmless.
- Come in.
- Hi, Carol.
- Hi. Hi, Matt.
- Hi, Carol.
That's Steve.
He's got a sucker on the hook.
Mr. Williams.
l couldn't set them up better myself, Steve.
Sit down, rest awhile.
l must apologize
for interrupting your game.
Oh, it's nothing. Only 75 a ball.
l'm Father Matthew Burke.
l'm Rector of St. Anthony's College.
You're a little off your beat,
aren't you, Father?
One foot on the floor.
l don't think so.
l'm looking
for an experienced football coach.
l understand you used to be
one of the best.
- Who told you?
- Your shot, Steve.
You have friends.
Friends who wanna save my soul...
...and get us out of this
unwholesome atmosphere?
l have a school
that's in financial difficulties...
...that's my only reason
for coming to you.
l'm afraid you're a little out of touch.
l've been kicked out of the Big Ten...
...the lvy League
and the Southern Conference.
They wouldn't even let me coach
at Alcatraz.
l know all about that.
The offer still stands.
No, thanks. l like it here.
Very few alumni come back to tell me
how to hold this cue.
Do l detect a note of bitterness?
You do indeed, Father. You do indeed.
- Steve, take 40 to 10 on the Yanks?
- Sure.
Oh, it's a fine game, football.
Noble game.
Originated in England in 1823...
...by an enterprising young man named
William Webb Ellis...
...who studied for the ministry,
by the way.
Found his team behind in a soccer game.
So he picked up the ball...
...and ran through the amazed opponents
for a thoroughly illegal touchdown.
And that's how football
was born. lllegitimately.
So it moved to America...
...where someone took advantage
of a loophole in the rules...
...and invented a little formation
called the flying wedge.
So many young men were maimed
and killed by this clever maneuver...
...that President Roosevelt,
Theodore Roosevelt...
...had to call the colleges together and
ask them to make the game less brutal.
He was, of course,
defeated in the next election.
- Three ball in the corner.
- This l gotta see.
ln spite of this setback,
football became an industry.
Price of a good running back
often surpassed the salary of a professor.
And when some righteous committee
unearthed this well-known fact...
...it was always the coach
who took it on the chin.
l just got tired of picking myself up.
- Six ball's a hanger.
- Thanks, junior.
Do l gotta play the whole family?
You mustn't judge St. Anthony's
by the standards of other schools.
l'm willing to take a chance on you.
Well, the trouble with us, Father...
...is that l'm a sensitive man
and you're a gambler.
No, thanks.
Rack.
Take my advice and stay out of sports.
You'd be a babe in the woods.
I'll rack them up for you
if you don't mind.
l also play a very good game
of Kelly Pool...
...if you should change your mind.
- Yeah?
- Good morning.
- l'd like to speak to your father.
- He isn't up yet.
- May l come in and wait?
- What for?
l'm from the probation bureau,
Domestic Relations Court.
l thought we just won
the hour sweepstakes.
Come on in.
You can sit down on that chair.
We just had it disinfected.
Will you please tell your father l'm here.
lt's a sort of thing l'd like
to work up to gradually.
ls it a bad one?
lt will do.
Was l in a--?
- Came in second.
- What was it about?
Steve, you ought to get yourself
a steady girl.
There aren't any. Except you.
I'll bet the coffee's made
and the orange juice is ready.
That's not all. We've got company.
- The law?
- Yeah.
I'll get some evidence in my favor.
I'll pay the damages, Grogarty,
and here's a little something for your kids.
- l thought you said--
- She is.
Well, l'm sorry,
l thought you were a policeman...
...that l've had dealings with
from time to time.
l'm from the Children's Division
of the Court of Domestic Relations.
l've been assigned to investigate you
and your child...
...with regard to her environment
and educational standing.
Excuse me.
The deadline for school is in exactly eight
and one quarter minutes.
Miss, please don't use the word ''child''
with such chilling precision.
lt sounds like you're talking
about a shipment of coal.
Her name is Carol.
l shall, of course,
continue to choose my own words.
You seem to be particular about everything
except dirty dishes.
Well, the butler was late today.
Miss, l've met a lot
of belligerent people in my time.
You're in the first division.
l'm beginning to wonder whether
I'll get a fair shake in this investigation.
l'm completely impartial.
But l have no hesitation in saying...
...that l'm almost certain my written report
will be unfavorable.
Before you get to know me?
As usual, l interviewed the child's teachers
and your neighbors before coming here.
My neighbors, did they knock me?
Little Benny Baker, did he knock me?
Mr. Baker on the contrary
was most profuse in stating...
...that he regards you
as one of nature's noblemen.
- See.
- Mr. Baker is a disbarred jockey.
One Boots McManus,
a young lady with bright pink hair...
...who is engaged in some vague capacity
at the Full House Club...
...is enthusiastic, even ardent
in her regard for you.
- l give up.
- To quote her verbatim...
...and only in part, she says:
''Steve is ziggetty.''
That's enough. l take back
what l said about you being unfair.
l'm sure you wouldn't be.
Could l offer you
some breakfast, Miss...?
Singleton. No, thank you,
l've already had mine.
Another wouldn't hurt you.
Not with that figure.
Mr. Williams, don't turn on the charm,
this is strictly impersonal with me.
Fire away.
Well, the court received a complaint
that your child is being neglected...
...and wants a full report
on your fitness as a parent.
Mind telling me who filed the complaint?
l believe it was your former wife.
Why is she so interested all of a sudden?
There's no reward.
Shut up.
We don't talk about my mother around here.
She's been annulled.
Stand still. Don't be so ziggetty.
Mrs. McCormick is merely worried
that you're not being cared for properly.
l must say it appears
she has some grounds.
Now, now, officer,
don't jump at conclusions.
l'm the nicest father a little girl ever had.
Show the lady how nicely the welts
are healing where l beat you.
And those new teeth he bought me
are just as good as the old ones. See?
And we only hold up a gas station
once a week and in the daytime.
lt isn't as if l kept the kid up after hours.
l don't see anything humorous
about this.
l think we should continue the discussion
without the presence of the child.
- Go get your books.
- Oh, Steve.
I'll holler if l need help.
You should've hollered
before you got married.
May l have your full name, please?
Steven Aloysius Williams.
- Care for a cigarette?
- No, thank you.
lt's the kind all the doctors smoke.
- Occupation?
- Tycoon.
- What?
- Well, as l understand it...
...a tycoon is a man who has
far-flung financial operations.
During football season,
l get out a little card...
...which gives my estimate
of the numerical worth...
...of the various college teams.
lf your estimate is better than mine,
l pay as high as five to one.
During baseball season,
l do the same thing.
Of course, l've given up basketball...
...in order to maintain
a high ethical standard of my firm.
But you can still get action
on prizefighting, hockey...
...and the eight ball in the side pocket.
- l'm a tycoon.
- l don't find what you told me amusing.
ln fact, l find it a little heartbreaking.
lf there were real attachment
between you and your child...
...you would make effort to convince
the court that you're a fit parent.
- You're new on this job, Miss Singleton.
- That hardly concerns you.
lf you think you'll change the world...
...with that black book,
you're off on the wrong foot.
Carol and l are okay.
lt's you that needs help.
Tell me about myself.
Four years at finishing school, one year
at The New School for Social Research...
...no love life because you're afraid of it.
One of the generation
of young old maids.
l think l can fill in the rest
of the report myself.
Oh, why don't you get out of here
and find yourself a man?
The badge may help.
Mr. Williams,
when l first walked in here...
...my sympathies weren't entirely
with that poor child's mother.
But l'm going to do everything
l can to take Carol away...
...from these awful surroundings
and your degrading influence.
You've got nice legs too.
All clear?
Yeah.
Steve, why don't we go to a ball game?
When did you burn down the school?
Okay. But l'm only doing this for you.
Thanks, pal. Have a good lunch.
l will.
What is your price
on the Giants and the Dodgers?
Six to five and take your choice.
You take 50 bets?
Only to get rid of you.
Put my tip on the Dodgers.
l take 25 bets too.
You don't say. Excuse me.
Hello, Steve.
- Hello, Anne.
- You act a little startled.
l guess five years is a long time.
Not long enough.
Can't you ask your former wife
to take a seat?
Go ahead. You've taken everything else.
- Steve, honey.
- Hello, Bobo.
Guess l owe you a 10 spot
on the game yesterday.
- Yeah, tough luck.
- Drop by later.
l've got the money in my sugar bowl.
- Who's that?
- Bobo.
l just came to discuss visiting privileges.
Look, l told your bloodhound
and now l'm telling you...
...l wouldn't let you see Carol
for five minutes.
You don't understand.
l want you to visit me.
One thing l always liked
about you, Anne.
No razzle-dazzle,
always straight through the middle.
What about your husband, Harold?
He can still raise me to the heights
with his checkbook.
Excuse me,
does the lady wants anything?
You don't have it on the menu.
Hi, Steve.
- Hello, Beanie.
- Hi.
Oh, excuse me.
- And who is that?
- Beanie.
There's no reason for legal mess
about the kid, Steve.
All you have to do is be nice to me
and I'll withdraw my complaint.
- Go home, Anne.
- lt's very cold at home.
You'll build a fire under someone,
but not me.
Don't walk out on me twice, Steve.
You don't stand a prayer.
I'll get that kid away from you
if it takes every lawyer in New York.
Goodbye, Mrs. McCormick,
and keep the home fires burning.
Of course, he's trying to do
the best that he can.
But it's these strange notions he's getting.
Football teams.
Well, after all, when you get
to be Father Burke's age...
Pardon me, gentlemen, while l totter by.
Good morning, Father,
we were just talking about you.
Any news?
We've not yet been invited
to the Rose Bowl.
You tried your best, Father.
And no one belittles you for it.
We just love you all the more.
Peterson, is it true that before
you took holy orders...
...you were a used car salesman?
Nine o'clock.
Seems to be a difference of opinion here.
Wait, l wanna see the cuckoo come out.
I'll not question your motives, Mr. Williams,
for changing your mind.
I'll only say we are grateful
to have you with us.
l imagine you look upon St. Anthony's
as a last, desperate resort.
The bottom
of the lvy-covered barrel, Father...
...but l'm willing to give it a whirl
if you are.
Oh, no, not that one.
We've been intending to have it repaired.
Sit there, please.
Mr. Williams, you are our last resort too.
You have six months in which to help us
save our little school.
l trust you will do it
with honor and integrity.
What's the salary, Father?
l believe by skimping a little
on our school budget...
...we could afford $3000 a year.
- Who will buy his whistle?
- lt'll do.
Well, it won't, but we also provide room
and board such as it is.
Shall we close the deal?
Shouldn't we get it on paper?
That's her religion, Father.
I'll draw up a contract.
l presume you're a notary public.
This is the locker room. l was gonna
have it renovated several years ago...
...but Father Burke decided
to put the money in the chemistry lab.
Well, what kind of shape
it could have been in?
I'll fix that for you, sir.
Happens all the time.
- You really have a football team here, kid?
- Oh, sure.
- You go to the games?
- l have to, sir, l'm the captain.
Oh, Mr. Williams, this is Father Malone.
- How do you do?
- How do you do, Father?
He's coaching football, baseball, and track
in addition to teaching calculus and physics.
Glad to see you stay in training.
Well, it's one of the few worldly pleasures
we're permitted, Mr. Williams.
lf Father Peterson will excuse us,
come along.
I'll show you around my territory.
- After you.
- Thank you.
Come on, watch the hips, come on.
Now, this is our football field.
When do you pick the strawberries?
Come on in, fellas.
What system do you use?
Do unto others as you would have others
do unto you.
But usually, the others do it to us first.
l want you to meet your new coach.
He's gonna take over the spring training.
Whether there'll be any fall training or not,
only God and the provincial know.
This is Steve Williams. He's coached some
of the country's leading universities.
The short end of them.
At any rate, we're happy to have him
with us here at St. Anthony's.
Take it easy on them, coach.
They're nice boys.
- Anybody here know how to kick a football?
- Oh, l do the kicking, coach.
Well, go on out there and get off
some punts, and you backs receive.
Linemen, go on back
and practice your blocking.
How'd you do last season?
We showed up for every game.
I'll say that was raw courage.
- Well, what are you waiting for?
- You have our ball, sir.
Don't bruise it.
Stairway's this way.
Where are we going?
Your room's at the top
of the chapel tower.
lt's...
Don't you have anything
on the mezzanine?
Living facilities are very limited here,
Mr. Williams.
lf your football team meets with success,
Father Burke's planning a new dormitory.
Excuse me.
Tell him not to pour the cement.
Wonder who lived here last.
The hunchback of Notre Dame, probably.
That's your room in there.
- My room?
- Yeah.
Steve.
l'm sorry l got you into this.
Go to bed, kid.
Why don't we blow?
Because this is a better address
than the poolroom.
Don't it give you the creeps?
Sleeping in a chapel,
after taking their three grand.
Look, this is a musical comedy college...
...and nobody could save it
but Rodgers and Hammerstein.
l couldn't help if l wanted to.
Good night.
Steve.
Yeah?
Were you ever in church before?
Once, for sure.
When l got married.
Anne couldn't really take me away
from you.
Could she?
Will you go to sleep?
Okay, Steve. Good night.
Why don't you quit trying to carry the world
around on your shoulders?
You're only 11 years old.
Wait till you're 12.
And stop worrying about the school,
and the church, and taking their money.
lt's not gonna spoil my sleep.
All right, Steve.
What's that?
Chapel bells.
We must be right under them!
Guess that was 10:00.
Yeah. Go to bed.
We got a solid 59 minutes to repent in.
Ready, shift!
Come on, come on.
Hold it, hold it.
No use in this outfit scrimmaging.
We gotta get back to fundamentals.
Pair off and do a little blocking
one-on-one.
Joe, come here.
Your passing is really from Canarsie.
Kneel down.
Now try it from there.
You pass right or you'll fall.
Not there, up next to your ear.
Keep your elbow pointed
toward the receiver. Now try it.
Keep trying.
No, not like that. Watch me.
Never gonna make a block
with your sitter up. Keep it down.
Your head up, your back straight.
Keep a leg under you.
Now drive.
- Now, get in there and do that.
- Yes, sir.
Come on, get up. Get in there.
Now, drive!
That's better.
How long do l stay in my knees?
Season starts in September.
l don't know how you've done it, Steve,
but those boys look mighty good out there.
They couldn't even beat
a high school debating team.
Well, they look a lot better to me.
That's all for tonight. Hit the showers.
- Good afternoon, Miss Singleton.
- Good afternoon.
Welcome to St. Anthony's.
l must say, your change of address
is quite an improvement.
- Although you neglected to notify the court.
- Strictly an oversight, l assure you.
l'm happy to see that my little visit
had an effect on you.
You'd be surprised at what effect it had.
l'm gonna find it hard
to resist an officer from now on.
Thank you for throwing crumbs
to a frustrated old maid.
You're not old.
Now, if you would just take
a sensible viewpoint...
...regarding Mrs. McCormick's
visitation rights.
Not a chance.
For your information,
she's still pressing her complaint.
And l don't think your new hideout
is going to fool a judge either.
While we're waiting for the custody hearing,
why won't you let her see her child?
You've already kept them separated
for five years.
Mr. Williams, surely you must realize
that Carol needs a mother's love...
...and a woman's understanding.
What do you know about love?
l think love is watching your child
walk to school for the first time alone...
...or sitting beside a sick kid's bed waiting
for the doctor, praying it isn't polio.
Or that cold chill you get
when you hear the screech of brakes...
...and know your kid's outside
on the street someplace.
And a lot of other things
you can't get out of books...
...because nobody knows
how to write them down.
You are, of course,
entitled to your opinion.
Well, l'm happy you still believe
in the Constitution.
Mr. Williams, why are you so stubborn
about Carol's mother?
Stubborn guy, l guess. Comes natural.
Well, l didn't mean to pry,
l just hoped to get more information...
...to get a better understanding
of the situation.
Well, you leave me no choice but to report
in favor of Mrs. McCormick's complaint.
l understand. No hard feelings.
None. Goodbye.
Mr. Williams, how could you possibly set
this kind of example in front of these boys?
You have a very wicked
and suspicious nature, Miss Singleton.
l shall light a candle for you.
Oh, Miss Singleton.
Don't you worry about love,
because a girl built like you...
...is gonna collide head-on
with it one of these days.
You've already kept them
separated for five years.
Five years.
Five years.
Five years.
Take over. l'm going home.
With the score tied?
A coach can't leave
in the middle of a game.
Show me where it says that
in the rulebooks.
What do you want us to do?
What about the team?
Don't worry. Most of those guys
have been in football longer than l have.
Hey, Steve.
And he's over. That's another six points
for Steve Williams' boys.
And it just about sews up the ball game.
Less than two minutes to play.
Lining up for the extra point now.
Dario'll kick.
Ball is snapped. Dario kicks. Good.
Get your stuff and get out.
l hope we're gonna be civilized
about this.
Cougars kick off to State,
seconds ticking away...
...things don't look bright
for the conference champions.
l wanted to do the decent thing,
we talked about it, but Anne said--
- She said l beat her?
- Yeah.
They always do. Maybe l should have.
l hope the divorce will be quiet.
My position, you know, is--
No divorce. An annulment.
She forgot to mention
a previous husband.
State's ball. First and 10.
Come on, let's get out
of this low rent district.
Well, drop that stuff.
Rich man like you wouldn't want his wife
wearing junk like that.
Or would you?
State lining up in a single wing.
Moore is wide to the right.
Ball goes to Radovitch,
swings wide to the left...
...sneaking his way
around the weak side.
He's not getting away.
On the 31. And there's the gun.
The ball game is over.
Steve Williams' Cougars have dumped State
by the score of 21- 14.
Let's listen to the music.
Hello, Steve. How's the team?
How was school?
l didn't go.
We don't have a team.
lt's in no shape
for commencement Mass.
Merely one note.
Well, it occurs six times
in ''Holy God We Praise Thy Name.''
The organist can fake it.
And l hate to spend funds when they
are sorely needed somewhere else.
l understand Cardinal O'Shea's
visiting in New York.
You're the fourth member of the faculty
to remind me of that fact...
...and of the deep affection
he holds for me.
- l'm sure if he knew of your problems...
- l'm very glad he doesn't.
As with the organ, that can be easily
remedied with a little prayer...
...and a careful avoidance of F sharp.
Let me do the worrying.
Oh, hello, Father.
Aren't you a little bit late
for school today?
Well, yes.
That's the way l look at it too,
so l figured l'd go up to Yankee Stadium.
And what are they teaching up there?
Yanks versus Cleveland. lt's a crucial.
Carol, come over here.
l wanna talk to you.
Truant officer called on me yesterday.
He seemed a little bit upset.
Well, if l had to chase kids for a living,
l couldn't sleep nights either.
l'm sure your father wants you
to have an education.
What did it ever do for him?
He worked his way through college.
For what? To coach football here
at Bankruptcy U?
l was hoping he'd help us
change all that.
ln six months?
lt takes four years
to get a decent schedule.
Four years?
lf the big teams will book you at all.
Gee, l thought everybody knew that.
Well, now you see?
lf you don't go to school, you might
grow up to be as ignorant as l am.
Look, Father, the way l see it,
all you have to learn is how to add.
So you can figure out
when people are cheating you.
l add pretty good.
You know something?
l've spent 60 years of my life in schools,
and l can't add at all.
Father, you know what's going on
this morning in the 6-B?
The kids are standing up in the aisle reading
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow at each other.
Did you ever read him?
Well, Mr. Longfellow and Cleveland
came up the same week and l...
l wonder if you could spare me
a few minutes before the game.
l'd like you to come up to my study.
- Father...
- Now, it won't take long.
lt's a crucial.
Bleacher seats go on sale at 11:00.
You know the rest
In the books you have read.
How the British regulars fired and fled.
How the farmers gave them ball for ball,
From behind each fence and farmyard wall.
Chasing the redcoats down the lane
And crossing the fields to emerge again
Under the trees at the turn of the road.
And only pausing to fire and load.
So through the night rode Paul Revere
And so through the night
Went his cry of alarm.
- What's the matter?
- l have a very important engagement.
- Right now?
- Well, l didn't realize it was so late.
l hope l haven't been boring you.
l can still make the game.
Hey, would you mind
closing the window?
Okay.
l'm very sorry, but the cardinal's
visiting New York for a short time.
- You should've had an appointment.
- l know, but a matter came up suddenly.
l thought perhaps you might be able
to squeeze me in.
Oh, excuse me, Father.
Will you see about the reservation
for Chicago?
Yes, Your Eminence.
Father Burke. Well, why didn't you tell me
he was out here?
l didn't want to disturb Your Eminence.
You're in New York so seldomly.
Oh, why all the formality, Father?
This doesn't sound like the man
who failed me in English History.
l was merely adopting the reverential
tone customary with your high office.
And if you had any real dignity,
you'd expect it.
Well, that's the Father Burke
l used to know.
May we drop you somewhere?
We have room in the car, haven't we?
I'll sit on the jump seat.
l failed in English History also.
Come on.
Father, l feel just as badly as you do
about the passing of my old school.
But that's entirely in the provincial's hands.
l can't interfere.
But if we could make St. Anthony's
pay its own way...
ln that case, it will be a pleasure
to help the provincial see the light.
What is your Machiavellian plan?
Well, my staff looks upon it
as a symptom of my senility...
...but are you familiar
with the game of football?
That brutal sport?
Oh, many universities aid themselves
financially by engaging in it.
- lndeed?
- l'd hope to do the same.
But l didn't realize the complexity
of the problems.
Do you know it takes four years
to get a decent schedule...
...if the big teams will book you at all?
How can l be of any assistance?
Well, l thought, perhaps,
you might drop a gentle hint...
...to some of our larger institutions...
...to look favorably upon the plight
of St. Anthony's.
To have them book you,
l believe you called it.
Well, l really shouldn't have asked,
but...
I'll do anything l can for you, Father.
I'll see how much influence l really have.
Here we are, Father.
l shall be eternally grateful.
- I'll never be able to thank you enough.
- Not at all.
- I'll leave you now.
- No, no, Father.
You're our guest.
Yanks versus Cleveland.
Should be a good game.
Naturally. lt's a crucial.
Hail and farewell, for none of us know...
...whether this may be the last class
to graduate from our beloved St. Anthony.
However, even should our college
be forced to close its doors, it will not die.
lt will live on in the spirit of the man...
...who's been our rector and our inspiration
for these many years.
Our own Father Burke.
Thank you, thank you.
Never have l heard such enthusiasm
for the passing of a school.
However, the end may not be as near
as Father Peterson would have you believe.
Before l launch
into my standard commencement address...
...l have here a communication
from His Eminence, the cardinal...
...which l think will interest you more.
As you all know,
His Eminence was once a student here.
As a matter of fact, he was in my class
in English History.
He was in it for some time.
''Office of His Eminence,
William Patrick O'Shea.
Dear Father Burke.
Concerning my recent appointment
as Graduate Manager of Athletics...
...of St. Anthony's College...
...l am happy to report confirmation
of the following schedule...
...for our football team for the next fall.
September the 20th,
Santa Carla University.
September the 27th, Holy Cross.
October the fourth, Villanova.
October the 11 th, at south bend,
the University of Notre Dame.''
What?
Anything wrong?
Sit down, sit down.
Couldn't he have booked
one Protestant school for a breather?
But won't you reconsider?
l'm leaving town. l don't wanna be here
next fall and be a part of this homicide.
With the material you have here,
you couldn't whip Vassar at tiddlywinks.
Mr. Williams, l've already taken
the first step...
...to put this school back on its feet.
Now, l'm sure with a little faith,
all of our other difficulties will disappear.
Now, won't you help us?
For a moment, let's dispense
with the rosy glasses of childish optimism...
...and look at this calmly:
You've flipped your lids.
The whole idea was crackpot
from the beginning.
Trying to book big-time college ball.
You have a schedule, but how about
players and equipment?
- A stadium to play in?
- That's up to you.
l've told you that we are giving you
an absolutely free hand.
Then you better shake it,
because l'm leaving right now.
l'm away.
Where are we going?
As far as our bankroll will take us.
Upstate, where we can hide away
from our little friend with the badge.
Do we know anybody up there?
Yeah, l got a friend in Rochester
who owns a bar and a grill.
- Poolroom attached?
- Sure.
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
You know, St. Anthony has a schedule
any school would be proud of.
lncluding the Matawan home
for the feeble-minded.
We'd have all summer to get ready.
Three months to build that kind of a team?
We'd be slaughtered.
The sportswriters would like it, though.
They can put me in the funny papers
right next to ''Li'l Abner.''
You could do it though,
if you could just do it.
You're beginning to sound
like a member of the order.
- Where'd those come from?
- Under my bed.
But l didn't take them.
Father Burke gave them to me.
Poe, Dickens and Stevenson?
You read these?
Sure.
Well, last time l gave you a book,
it was Mother Goose.
We don't have room for them.
We can leave them here.
Steve.
- Look for my picture in the funnies.
- Oh, Steve.
We'd like to help you out
but l got a great setup here.
- A backfield coach.
- l got a deal, coach, on the line.
- Four years solid.
- Well, make like l didn't ask you.
Look, we'd be starting at the bottom again
at your school, St. Whosis.
They been losing to high schools.
l understand. l wouldn't wanna take
you two away from your soft touch here.
- These are high school files?
- Yeah.
Reports on every kid
that's kicked the ball over 10 yards.
And the name of the kid who caught it.
l wonder how many of these specimens
l can nail down.
They've already been nailed,
the good ones.
- They'll get loose when they hear my offer.
- What'll that be?
Room and board and a job
winding an eight-day clock?
There's going to be no employer-employee
relationships at St. Anthony's.
Everybody's going into business
for himself.
What's the deal?
At my new alma mater,
they don't even know what time it is.
- All they're after are gate receipts.
- So?
So we're gonna cut up
all the side angles for ourselves.
Parking, programs, advertising,
pennants and the pay washrooms.
Everybody's gonna be
a member of the firm.
This will be the first cooperative
football team in history.
- Ain't that socialism?
- Not if we can get in on it.
l thought you two were happy here.
For once, we'd like to make
as much as the players.
Off to work.
Hey, Steve. You can't steal those files.
This is the lvy League.
Please, l live upstairs from a church.
Fine. These seem to be very sturdy.
Wouldn't last a season.
Prep school stuff.
Now, these are the real things.
Give you a little protection.
- Feel anything?
- No. Why, that's amazing.
- We'll start off with five dozen of these.
- Those are $300 a dozen, Steve.
Going first-class.
What's it running, Mike?
- Twelve, fifteen, about $20,000.
- That's what l figured.
- Mr. Williams.
- Yes, Father.
- What are the terms of this transaction?
- Cash on delivery.
- Cash on delivery?
- Now, relax, Father.
l've got it all figured out.
You get 10,000 a month
operating expenses from the province.
All you have to do
is borrow ahead for two months.
Mr. Williams, how do you suppose
we are operating now?
- You mean we're in hock.
- You phrased it perfectly.
Father, you have just shattered
a childhood illusion.
Then we'll just have to ask them
to trust us.
- For 20 grand?
- Suppose l ask them?
Not Mike.
l've had dealings with him before.
He wouldn't give Angel Gabriel
5 bucks on his horn.
Perhaps you've misjudged him.
- Mr. Edwards.
- Yes, Father. What is it?
l trust you understand St. Anthony's...
...is unable to pay for this equipment
in advance.
- What?
- lt's just a small college.
Oh, no.
l suppose it means very little
to anyone but me.
But this might help us to survive.
Now, if you could find it in the
goodness of your heart to...
Sorry.
Come along, Mr. Williams.
Just a minute.
- Norm. Take it back.
- Mike, come in.
lt's no dice, Steve.
We don't give credit to busted schools.
Those boys will have to play
in their underwear.
Michael, my own,
l wouldn't do that if l were you.
Why not?
When l was buying a hundred grand
worth of equipment...
...l was a pretty big man around here.
Got 10 percent off.
Of course, l had to kick 5 percent back
to somebody in this outfit.
And l'm sure the boss
doesn't know about this.
l wonder if it's cricket
to keep him in the dark.
Father, will Saturday be soon enough
for the delivery?
You mean it? lt's all right?
Every man according to his own heart.
Let him yield but not grudgingly.
Or of necessity.
For God loveth a cheerful giver.
Thank you.
Thank you indeed.
- You see?
- Father, l've learned a great lesson.
Yeah, so have l.
- Pretty fair schedule, huh?
- Yes.
Santa Carla, Holy Cross, Notre Dame.
- How do you do this? With mirrors?
- Stained glass.
Steve, l'd like to help you out.
But l couldn't put my own grandmother
at the Polo Grounds without a guarantee.
We aren't playing your grandmother
and l don't think she'd draw anyway.
lt'd cost 25,000 to open this place up.
l wish l could give St. Anthony's
a helping hand. lt's a wonderful cause.
l'm sorry.
How are you doing
with that pro league of yours?
l think it's gonna be all right.
Last fall, we showed a nice profit.
And they only played two Sundays a month.
- l'm shocked.
- About what?
- Playing on the Sabbath.
- What's with you?
l may start a campaign
to abolish Sunday football.
- Oh, now, Steve.
- Brutal bruising game on the Lord's day.
l may get my newfound friends
to call a meeting.
Sort of an interfaith conference.
They'll spread the word
and before you know it--
l don't know if you're on the level.
You can't throw a monkey wrench.
l happen to hold the Olympic title to
Monkey Wrench Throwing.
Sit down, Steve. Sit down.
l don't wanna have any trouble with you.
You've brought some great teams to this
field. l'd book you in without a guarantee.
But l haven't got an open date.
Look. Every available Saturday filled.
Brother, then we'll play Sundays.
- That's the boy we signed up yesterday.
- All-state tackle. He didn't graduate.
We'll print him a diploma.
We've been over these films
10 times, Steve.
We've got everything but a passer.
What happened to that kid
from Scranton?
One of the California schools
got to him first.
Yeah, l think they made his old man
vice president of a bank.
There's a good passer
in the Canadian League.
Take it easy, Steve. He's a pro.
Give him a crew haircut.
That's enough.
- Ten minutes intermission.
- l thought l told you to go to bed.
l was hungry.
We can't just win our first game.
We'll have to roll up a big score
or we won't draw flies.
How do you roll up a score against
Santa Carla, number one on the West Coast?
- Summer school.
- What?
Our own brand.
Eight classes a day, all football.
Santa Carla, Notre Dame and Holy Cross
can't practice in the summertime.
Conference rules.
That gives us a three-months jump on them.
- No cream.
- You need it.
By September, we ought to be able
to take on the Chicago Bears.
Even if they use real bears.
We may fade out in the stretch, but
brother, we'll thump them in those openers.
- Can l have some cream?
- You don't need it.
What happens if our fellows don't
wanna give up their summer?
Oh, they'll train all right. Remember,
they're stockholders, not college boys.
Hail to alma mater.
Hail, all hail to thee.
lt's always a pleasure
to welcome a new student body...
...to the summer school
of St. Anthony's.
To look out upon row after row
of eager young faces...
...who've given up their summer vacation
to further their quest for knowledge.
l notice our new freshmen,
shy and timid as usual...
...have seated themselves
toward the rear.
Gentlemen, we're all united
in the brotherhood of scholarship.
Would you rise and move forward
to join the rest of us...
...as we will all move forward
during the coming term...
...in the eternal search
for truth and beauty.
We will lift our voices into song.
What's up?
We wanna congratulate you
on your new freshmen.
lt's a nice-looking mountain of flesh,
isn't it?
Don't you think
you may have overdone it?
Ring Lardner once said,
''The race is not always to the swift...
...nor the battle to the strong,
but that's the way to bet.''
We've been looking over the high school
record of your young men.
- They look extremely good.
- ln fact, too good.
lt will be best if they all took
an entrance examination.
Why is it that a minute a boy
with a fine physique enters college...
...his intellect is immediately suspect?
l'm willing to take his records in good faith.
Why can't you?
There's such a thing as misplaced faith.
Why not have a little Christian charity?
Let them prove themselves
one way or the other.
Mr. Williams,
they'll receive no special consideration.
We're all working for the same things.
St. Anthony's, Father Burke,
and 170,000 bucks.
lt's the F sharp, it's a clinker.
l asked for six tickets and end up
with two on the rooting section.
How do you like that?
l wish we had as many requests
for seats in the chapel.
Well?
l have a letter
from a John McGivenny of Boston.
Says you baptized him.
He wants 10 tickets in the 50-yard line.
- Send him one. l only baptized him.
- All right, Father.
You sell any more seats,
there won't be room for me.
Then we'll just have to call off the game.
What's the matter?
We've just been clipped from the rear.
Yes, yes, go on.
So, what the kids in the block do to me,
l should worry.
Ringing my doorbell
at 2:00 in the morning.
Undertaker comes,
he wants to know where is the body.
Throwing rocks through my window,
it's all right.
But when they call my Maria
Watermelon Bottom...
...the city of New York
has got to do something.
We're taxpayers.
I'll have a talk with the children.
- See that Maria keeps out of trouble.
- Sure, sure, Miss Singleton.
But you talk to the kids today.
Tomorrow, l get a baseball bat.
- I'll take care of it. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Hello, Mr. Williams.
- Hello, Alice.
That's what it said on the letter.
And l feel we're such old friends.
- How's Carol?
- Fine.
You're not holding up
any more gas stations?
l know we're gonna have to fight you
when custody hearing comes up.
But what's this all about?
You've got to let Carol
see her mother on that date...
...or you're in contempt of court.
Why don't you let Anne
do her own dirty work?
You're smarter than that.
Don't you know she's using you?
Go and help old Watermelon Bottom
and her kid. They need it.
My Carol doesn't.
l've raised her to take care of herself.
She'd get her own baseball bat
and tell me about it afterwards.
- Why don't you come out of that shell-- ?
- Mr. Williams, l suggest that you follow me.
- Where?
- Someplace better suited to your manners.
- And where would that be?
- The nearest saloon.
That ought to quiet your nerves.
- Steve, darling, hi.
- Hello.
That was Beanie.
l see you brought me
to your home territory.
Mr. Steve.
- What do you want here, Mr. Steve?
- Bourbon and water here.
Scotch over rocks.
Well, how do you do, Miss Singleton?
- Don't plan on a campaign.
- Might not be a bad idea.
- You're showing signs of being human.
- Must be the light in here. Cigarette?
They're the kind all lady doctors smoke.
Thanks.
Well, let's get down to business.
Yeah, it...
lt says here, ''The child must be turned over
to the mother Sunday, September 20th...
...and she shall have custody
for the ensuing day.''
Sunday, September the 20th.
Who's brilliant idea was this?
Mrs. McCormick insisted. She said
that was the most convenient time.
Glad to hear
she still reads the sports pages.
That's the day of our first game.
Mr. Williams, aren't there more important
things in Carol's life than football?
- Just as there are in yours?
- Not this week.
lf l made Carol go see her mother
on Sunday, l'm a heel.
lf l don't, l'm in contempt of court.
lt's the old squeeze play.
Well, that's one way of looking at it.
Don't you realize
this will make her hate her mother?
What makes you so sure?
She might find a whole new world
that you've kept her from.
How do you know your way
of raising your daughter has been right?
Because l asked her.
That's the best way.
How many pink dresses does she have?
How many hats she can't
play baseball in?
Maybe it's been easy so far.
What happens in a few years
when she stops being a girl...
...and becomes a young woman?
Are you preparing her
to meet those problems?
I'll pick Carol up Sunday morning.
Look, could you hurry up?
Everything's set. The boys are at Mass.
- Better get moving.
- Sure.
l want to see the face on that
Santa Carla coach when we shift from T...
...to the single-wing to the box.
They'll think they're playing six teams.
Listen, Carol,
you're not going to the game.
- What are you talking about?
- You have to see your mother today.
Alice is coming by to pick you up.
- Alice?
- Miss Singleton.
- You're kidding, aren't you?
- l have a court order.
Even you can't fight city hall.
But today. The first game.
How could you let them
do a thing like that?
l'm not going to go.
Could have spared
one of my school days.
A lot of things
more important in your life than football.
Should've put up a fight.
That's what you should've done.
Look, who's bawling out who?
Who's parent here and who's the child?
l got something for you.
- What's in this?
- A time bomb. What else?
Open it, blow us all up.
You promised me l could go.
Now you won't let me go.
l planned it all week.
l don't want any of these things.
Good morning.
l'm delivering the package.
Handle with care.
Steve, Steve.
Steve.
She's the law.
Now, stay out of trouble
and kick on third down.
That's a very pretty dress you're wearing.
ls it new?
Last year's.
Let's go.
- No, thank you.
- Thank you. So glad you could come.
Go on in and join the children.
Hello. l don't know that it was a good idea
having all of these children in.
l'd hope you would spend
the afternoon alone with Carol.
Well, l guess I'll have to learn
about children all over again.
Carol and l have been separated
for so long.
Don't worry. l've already filed my report
for the hearing on Wednesday.
l don't think you'll have to wait
much longer to get your daughter.
No mother could ever hear
more welcome words.
Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Certainly.
l may have Whistler
in to paint you tomorrow.
Do we own a rocking chair?
Harold, give me a vermouth Scotch
and a twist of lemon.
- Put them all together, they spell mother.
- Oh, shut up.
- l have a splitting headache.
- And how is our wee belle?
Steve's absolutely ruined that child.
She has no manners at all.
l bet she shoots a good game
of snooker, though.
Am l going to run a home
for delinquent girls?
- l thought one was enough.
- Thank you.
I'll smooth out the rough edges
if it kills me.
l suppose l have to amuse
our little one again.
The show must go on.
May l have the pleasure
of this dance, please?
Carol, dear. This is Jeffrey Marlowe.
He's just been begging me
to let him dance with you.
- No, thank you.
- Okay.
Just a minute, Jeffrey.
Dear, l hope you realize
l gave up my Sunday for you.
Now, the least you can do
is enjoy yourself.
ls it all right with you
if l just don't wanna dance?
- lt's all right with me.
- Jeffrey.
l know what's wrong.
You're probably ashamed
of this awful dress.
l like this dress fine.
Steve bought it for me.
l know, dear. lt's very pretty.
But Bonwit's have a wonderful
Junior Miss department.
l'm going to open
a charge account for you.
Will they let me come in?
Now, you two dance
and have a good time.
Carol?
You know,
l don't dance very well myself.
Dancing. Big deal.
lt's a very big deal, Carol.
You have to learn how to get along
with boys and girls your own age.
You can't live with your father
all your life.
Not if Anne can help it.
You'll be grown up before you know it.
l went through the same things except
l didn't have a mother l could turn to.
You were just lucky.
Well, perhaps Anne is trying too hard.
l don't suppose
you wanna go back inside.
No. They're not my type.
Well, just between you and me,
they're not my type either.
What do you say we sneak out of here?
l don't think anybody would miss us.
l feel sorry for Steve.
Let's give him a break
and start the second team today.
l don't know.
- They look pretty big to me.
- All freshmen. Green as grass.
That's it. Right there.
- Hello, Joe. Congratulations, Bill.
- Welcome back to football.
Well, thank you very much.
l hear you got a great team this year.
As a matter of fact, my heart almost
stopped when l heard they'd scheduled you.
l don't know whether my boys
can give you a contest.
But we'll be trying. Bye.
That guy is playing it too humble.
- Start the first team.
- Right. Braddock.
Thanks for tucking me in.
l almost forgot to bring your medicine.
Doctor said for you to take it
on the hour. lt'll give strength.
Strength, that's just what l need.
lf you hear a pistol shot,
it may not be the end of the first half.
- Good afternoon, Ed.
- Good afternoon.
- l see you got the tickets l sent you.
- Yes, they're fine.
And only $4.80 each.
Well, you said the college
had to pay its way.
l hope you didn't expect
professional courtesy.
l understand the crowds continue
only as long as their team is winning.
Well, our boys
all went to Mass this morning.
- So did Santa Carla.
- Yes, but ours outweigh them.
l see you still have that handsome cane.
Presented by his former students
at Santa Carla, Father.
l hope they all passed.
What?
Good boy.
St. Anthony's will receive,
Santa Carla will defend the south goal.
Boy, that backfield sure looks ready.
Better be seven men on that line
ready too.
St. Anthony's ball.
First and 10 on their own 37.
- What happened? Who's got the ball?
- The enemy.
Santa Carla recovered their own fumble.
First and 10 on the 46.
Santa Carla's fumble
recovered by St. Anthony's.
St. Anthony's ball.
First and 10 on their own 40.
Hi.
Looks like the party
must have been a big success.
Saunders kicking off for St. Anthony's.
Santa Carla's ball on the 30.
They don't look
much like freshmen to me.
That's to say
they're working their way through college.
Saint Anthony's ball on Santa Carla's 45.
Thanks, Alice. How's business?
Great. Eating it like they didn't know
what was in them.
Good. Like Steve says,
''Every penny counts.''
St. Anthony's ball on the 36.
They made a first down!
That means they made 10 yards.
l know, they two-timed that left guard
and rode him out of there like a scooter.
Once upon a time,
l went to college myself.
Sorry, officer.
Look, you're getting mustard
all over you dress.
Who cares?
l got a charge account at Bonwit's.
Hit him again. Hit him again.
- Harder.
- Strength.
Harder.
- Harder.
- Harder.
- Harder.
- Harder.
That's why l like that 34 play.
We're swamping them
and you're not even cheering.
Well, l'm not being paid.
How do you expect Steve to win ballgames?
With Father Burke at quarterback?
ls winning so important?
Listen, like Steve says:
''Winning isn't everything.
lt's the only thing.''
Anything Steve says goes, huh?
He's my boy.
Whose side are you on, Alice?
Anne's or Steve's?
l'm on your side, Carol.
St. Anthony's 14. Santa Carla nothing.
This looks like an upset.
St. Anthony's surprising strength
has everybody in the stadium flabbergasted.
Saunders kicking off for St. Anthony's.
lsn't it amazing how such a small school
has come up with such a strong team?
Not so amazing when you know Steve.
l bet the coal mines are empty this year.
l can't really believe
St. Anthony's authorities know...
...where that material came from.
Santa Carla's ball on the 30.
- What's this?
- The Academy Award.
Congratulations, Father. Great team.
Father, to the victor.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks, Bill.
Your team is in unusually great shape
this early season.
- You think so?
- l wonder what they did all summer.
Bible class, Billy. Bible class.
Hello, junior.
How'd you get out? Who sprung you?
Alice. She couldn't take it either.
- That's very decent of you.
- Not at all.
l learned a great deal this afternoon.
l always thought you had possibilities.
When can l see you again?
ln court, on Wednesday.
- Goodbye, Carol.
- Goodbye, Alice.
l don't like the way she said that.
Maybe l spilled the beans.
Administration office.
- Peterson?
- Oh, yes, Father Burke?
I want complete credentials
on our freshman class.
Complete credentials
on the freshmen class.
- High school records.
- High school records.
- Entrance examination.
- Entrance examination.
- Classroom attendance and marks.
- Classroom attendance and marks.
- Oh, yes, I'll send them right up.
- Why wasn't I informed?
Father, l should have called it to your
attention sooner but l didn't want to upset--
He couldn't have said
what l thought he said.
How goes it?
Looks like our net profit
from the game...
...adds up to around $31,000
in round figures.
And they're gonna get rounder.
We can start thinking
about our new library.
Couple of more games,
you might get your back pay.
Mr. Williams,
Father Burke would like to see you.
l just got your hurry-up call, Father.
Sit down, Mr. Williams, if you wish.
l hope l'm not inconveniencing you.
No, we were just going over the scout's
report for the Holy Cross game.
There isn't going to be
any Holy Cross game.
We've already canceled the remainder
of our football schedule.
Day of reckoning has arrived, eh, Father?
ln a small way, Mr. Williams, but it
won't be the last that you'll experience.
- Mind telling me who opened your eyes?
- Well, l prefer not.
You don't have to.
What made you believe
that you could save St. Anthony's...
...by destroying the very things
it stands for?
l've already asked the Provincial
to close our school immediately.
- l'm sorry, Father.
- Sit down. l haven't finished yet.
The thing that hurt most...
...was to hear from a stranger
that you've been buying players...
...forging records, dividing profits...
...and laughing at those of us
who were naive enough...
...to have had confidence in you.
That you've even allowed
a professional football player...
...to wear the venerable colors
of St. Anthony's.
And here's the record.
''Elmer Miller. Played in the
Canadian Professional League.''
Now this so-called pro Elmer Miller
happens to be a kid...
...who spent his last high school year
in Korea.
Combat medals from here to here.
He comes home and plays
in one chintzy backwoods game.
What's the difference whether the kids
make the money for the hamburgers?
Or some alumnus gets the concession?
Father, l've been through this
so many times, it's like old home week.
Let's just call it quits.
l want you to know this, though.
l'm not ashamed of anything l've done.
You won't find me at Confession
in the morning.
Hello, officer.
Why, Mr. Williams.
The office is officially closed for the night.
l saw the light
burning in the window for me.
The Gestapo never sleeps.
What do you want?
Miss Singleton,
you have accomplished the following:
Carol will be taken away from me.
Father Burke's heart will be broken
because St. Anthony's will be closed.
And you've cheated 30 or 40 kids
out of an education they can't afford...
...unless there's football.
All because l looked at your legs.
You've been drinking.
And in the best Christian tradition,
l'm gonna return good for evil.
Some advice.
Singleton, start winking at strange men.
Drop your gloves
anytime you're in an elevator...
...with an eligible bachelor.
Go boat-riding with lonesome sailors.
Get out on the town.
Let life rub up against you and then
maybe some man will do this to you.
lt's what you wanted, isn't it?
And to make up for it, you...
...do clever little things
like running to Father Burke...
...and telling him my boys sullied
the good name of his school.
- l didn't go to Father Burke.
- No?
You know so many women,
you forgot to get the name of that one.
You've had me figured out
from the very beginning.
Four years at finishing school.
l went to college nights.
l don't have to tell stories about you
to hurt you. You're hurting yourself.
Anything that l've done
was to protect Carol.
- From what?
- From growing up like me.
l had a wonderful father too.
Real pals, we were.
Man-to-man about everything.
l hardly ever realized l was a girl.
By the time l was 10, l was a misfit.
When l was 12,
l hated every boy who ever laughed at me.
lt was a big club.
Do you know this is the first time...
...l've ever let a man
get this close to me in all my life.
Now, get out of here.
Here we are, Tiger, come on.
That's my name for him. Wife's dog.
Can't stand him when he's sober.
Doesn't he know any songs
about fathers?
Nobody writes songs about fathers,
Mr. Steve.
- We ought to have a union.
- l pay too much dues already.
What's up, Steve?
l've thought it over very carefully, Joe.
There's no great achievement
in getting drunk.
Even a little dog can do it.
Have one on me, Tiger.
Thank the nice man, Tiger.
- ls Mrs. McCormick in?
- Do you have an invitation, sir?
l paid two bucks for one 11 years ago.
What do you want?
l surrender, dear.
- Will you get out?
- Not until after l've talked to you.
Out here.
Your timing is always 100 percent.
Always wrong. Well, what do you want?
Congratulations, Anne.
l'm giving Carol up.
- How touching.
- Maybe it's best for her.
l see no sense in dragging her
through a court trial tomorrow.
I'll send her away someplace
to a good school.
Do you expect me to agree to that?
Well, why not? You don't want her.
You got tired of her
before she was 2 months old.
Yes, about the same time
you got tired of me.
You're only giving up
because you know you're licked.
l want you to bring Carol into court.
l want her to hear all about her fine,
upstanding father.
You've seen the probation report?
You should have been nicer
to dear Miss Singleton. Or maybe you were.
Now that l told Father Burke
the facts of life about your football team...
...you couldn't win custody
of a cocker spaniel.
Don't take all the credit.
l dialed the number.
Oh, you did, eh?
You know, l'm not overly fond
of having your daughter in my house.
And l hope you realize
what a sacrifice l'm making.
For l see no reason why Carol shouldn't
grow up to be the same kind of tramp as--
Get me the police.
Order. Order, Mr. Williams.
The lawyer for Mrs. McCormick
has the attention of the court...
...for the moment.
Why are you not represented by counsel?
Well, l saw a lot of them
where l spent the night.
They wouldn't let any of them out.
- Your Honor, l intend to show--
- One moment, please.
Carol.
Perhaps you better wait in my chambers
until we call you.
We don't like a child to see
how foolish adults can be.
lt isn't exactly a secret, Your Honor.
l might as well stay.
- May l go on?
- Until the next interruption.
May l read the concluding paragraph
of the probation officer's report:
''lt is my opinion that the father has
had a degrading influence upon the child.
And that the only cause
left to the court...
...is to deliver her
to the custody of her mother.''
Your Honor, in view of this report
and in view of the circumstances...
...of which the defendant
appears here today...
...Mrs. McCormick would save court's time
by dispensing with further argument...
...moving for an immediate decision.
- l agree. And furthermore--
- Your Honor.
What now, Mr. Williams?
Before this railroad station closes,
may l question the author of this report?
That is your privilege, if you insist.
There is no formal procedure here.
Go right ahead.
Well, let's don't be too informal.
l'd like to have Miss Singleton sworn in.
Bailiff, will you swear the witness.
Miss Singleton, please.
Can l dispense with the bookends?
- An escort will not be necessary.
- Raise your right hand.
Do you swear the testimony
about the given case...
...to be the truth and nothing but?
- l do.
- Be seated, please.
Miss Singleton,
l've been listening to this document...
...that you've been sitting up
nights writing.
And l wanna break it down
into simple language.
Will you tell this court,
did you ever see me hit my daughter?
- No.
- Deprive her of food, clothing or schooling?
- No.
- Anytime you've seen us together...
...did she seem unhappy?
- No.
- Do you think it's a crime...
...for a father to treat his daughter
as an equal?
Well, there are some authorities--
Did she show signs
of vitamin deficiency?
Your Honor,
am l allowed to get a word in?
l lost control of this hearing long ago.
Ask him.
May l tell you that l came to this courtroom
to repudiate my report?
Your Honor, that report was filed
under oath.
l believed it when l wrote it.
- When was that?
- Friday.
Could have been trying a murder
this week.
Stay with it, Mr. Grummet.
You may be. Sit down, Mr. Williams.
Not there. Over there.
You were just getting to the part
where you were denying you're sworn word.
l find that l've been letting my emotion
sway my better judgment, Your Honor.
l've only just began to realize...
...how deeply Mr. Williams
cares for his daughter.
lt's obvious to me now...
...l spent most of my time
investigating the wrong party.
l deliberately looked the other way...
...while l allowed Mrs. McCormick
to use me for her own ends.
lt finally became clear to me...
...that she has no real affection
for her own child.
That her only purpose
was to hurt Mr. Williams.
Now the only thing
that renews my faith in my own sex...
...is that Mr. McCormick
is just as bad as she is.
Your Honor, l move Miss Singleton
be cited for perjury.
One case at a time, Mr. Grummet.
This involves the future of a child.
l intend to hear Miss Singleton out
if it takes all winter.
Your Honor, l should like
to ask Miss Singleton one question.
Are you in love with Mr. Williams?
Your Honor, is that relevant?
You've completely reversed
your sworn testimony.
l claim it's the only question
that is relevant.
You'll have to answer that.
Remind the witness she's under oath.
Sit down, Mr. Williams.
Go ahead.
Well, l can't be sure but...
...l believe the answer is yes.
That's all, Miss Singleton.
May l say something else?
ls there anything else to say?
Yes, there is, Your Honor.
l've always tried to be objective
about my work.
And no matter what my feelings
about Mr. Williams now...
...it is still obvious to me
that he's no fit father for a little girl.
Sometimes, love is not enough.
He has given her a set of values...
...that finds no wrong in deceiving
even the Church itself.
Do you realize how he has damaged
an innocent school like St. Anthony's--?
Believe me. lt would be a tragic mistake
to leave Carol in his sole custody.
Miss Singleton, before we get objective
all over the place...
...l'd like to call a halt
to these proceedings right now.
This case is continued
until further notice.
l shall assign another probation officer.
A man, Miss Singleton.
And until his report is completed...
...the child shall remain a ward
of the juvenile court.
Your last official act,
pick up the child at her dwelling...
...and deliver her to Children's Center.
Step down, Miss Singleton.
This court is finally adjourned.
Oh, well.
Hello, Father.
Hello.
You can count them.
They're all here.
l gave those books to you, Carol.
They're yours.
l'm not the one
who needs the education, Father.
- lt's you.
- Carol.
Just because Steve did
what you told him to...
...the judge is sure to split us up.
The judge?
Don't you know anything
that's going on around you?
Carol, l'd like you to keep the books.
Who needs them?
Like l said before,
all you got to know is how to add.
l've been intending to have that fixed.
Father Burke, the cardinal's here.
- Good morning, Father.
- Your Eminence.
Why, this is indeed an unexpected honor.
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- l'm not here ex officio.
Just another alumnus.
l told His Eminence of your decision.
Yes, we've decided to close
the old firetrap.
Oh, Father, l've been talking this matter
over with the province advisers.
lt would be a great shock...
...if you didn't present
St. Anthony's deficit at every meeting.
Your intangible value to the province
cannot be reckoned in dollars and cents.
After all, no school that flunked me
in English History...
...can be completely unnecessary.
Of course, there are certain conditions.
We're gonna have to watch all expenditures
much more closely...
...but by eliminating scholarships,
adding a School of Commerce...
...streamlining all the way
down the line--
When will you learn that this is a college
and not a cash register?
Father, aren't you being
a little unreasonable?
l don't think so.
There's one person in this room,
never would have had an education...
...if we'd had to ask for his tuition
before each semester.
Now, George,
how can you upset an old man like that?
l am not an old man.
lf we have to watch our pennies...
...and teach our students
how to juggle books...
...then l'm in favor of turning
the whole place into a parking lot.
Thank you.
Well, I'll be happy to blow this place.
Hope you can sleep without those bells.
l can always bang my head
against the wall.
Kid, everything's gonna turn out all right.
lt's 8-to-5 we'll be back together again.
How about we duck out?
How far is it to Rochester?
My friend with the bar and grill?
Why not?
l don't want them
to take me away from you.
Look, l told you before, Carol...
...we just can't run away from life.
lt catches up with you.
We're getting out just in time.
Living in a church is ruining you.
Hurry up and pack.
Alice is probably waiting.
- Or is it the church?
- What?
Nothing.
Steve...
...don't you want me?
There's nothing l want more.
But in spite of anything l can do
or you can do...
...you're getting bigger every day.
And it's just a matter of time...
...until your dad will be
the least important man in your life.
What's that got to do with it?
Well, you just gotta quit looking at me
like l was George Washington...
...Babe Ruth and Florence Nightingale
all rolled into one.
l don't know all the answers, kid.
Maybe the judge has a better one.
Okay, coach.
You didn't make the world.
This is a solemn, though happy occasion.
You've been called to the chapel
on short notice...
...to give thanks for some extremely
good news which concerns all of you.
St. Anthony's will proceed in its
bungling ways down through the years.
The province is kind enough to continue
its financial aid.
And now, l would like to express
my gratitude to the province...
...by requesting that l be removed
from the post of father rector.
The most difficult thing for a man...
...is to admit that he's growing old.
lt is an especially difficult thing
for an old man to admit.
ln my younger days...
...l never would have so far forgotten
my priestly vows...
...as to think only of myself.
These past years...
...l now realize that l was not trying
to save St. Anthony's.
l was trying to perpetuate myself in a job
that had become too much for me.
This would have been bad enough.
But l also allowed myself
to misjudge a man.
A man whose only concern
was not for himself...
...but for his child.
ln my naive attempt to change
this stubborn old school...
...into a moneymaking operation...
...l asked this man
to perform an impossible task.
And he did it.
He did it in his own way.
And l'm sure after long reflection,
that it was the only way.
And because he did
what l asked him to do...
...l discharged him from his post.
l exposed him to public ridicule.
And l may have succeeded
in taking from him...
...the one thing in life that he valued.
l hope that someday
he will find it in his heart to forgive me.
As for our football team,
it will go back to its old ways.
lts old schedule.
And before l hurt anyone else...
...more especially,
before l hurt St. Anthony's further...
...the wisest course for me is to step down.
Like our old chapel clock...
...l've grown picturesque
but not very useful.
So goodbye and God bless you all.
l'm delivering the package again.
- Hello, Carol.
- Hello, Alice.
You've got yourself
a pretty good character witness.
With my record,
l better bring the choir to court too.
l hope someday
you'll find a good mother for Carol.
lt's all either of you need.
l know.
Hey!
You got nice legs too...
...for a copper.
Welcome to the ranks
of the unemployed, Father.
Only one of us.
You'll be back here again next season.
- Me?
- Yes.
Read the fine print in your contract.
lt says, ''lf desired by the college...
...this agreement may be extended
for 12 months.''
l never saw that.
lt's in Latin.
Right on the dot.