True Stories (1986)

1
[birds chirping]
[girl imitating birds chirping]
[continues imitating birds chirping]
- [bird squawking]
- [imitating bird squawking]
[vocalizing melody]
- [vocalizing continues]
- [narrator] This is where the town begins.
This part of the country's
been through a lot of changes.
Not all small ones either.
I think they're in the process
of going through another one.
You know, there's bound to be
at least one person
who remembers when everything
was just open land, like itis right here.
And some people
can just look at the land, just look at it,
and tell you what happened there.
This whole area was once under water.
Almost stil looks like it.
After that there was a period
when dinosaurs roamed all over the place.
I used to be fascinated by dinosaurs
when I was a kid.
A lot of kids were.
Recently, the bones of a woman
who lived20,000years ago were found here.
They nicknamed her Midland Minnie.
The first inhabitants here referred to themselves
simply as "the people."
Other groups they came in contact with
were referred to as "friends."
"Texas"comes from
the Caddoan word for "friend."
However, the Caddo were among the first
to be wiped out by the early white settlers.
A group of Spanish settlers offered the Indians
the chance to become slaves.
The Indians thought about it,
decided it was not a good idea
and killed the Spaniards.
The Spaniards were fighting the Mexicans.
The Mexicans fought the Americans.
The Americans were fighting the Wichitas.
The Wichitas were fighting the Tonkawas.
The Tonkawas fought the Comanches.
The Comanches fought everyone.
Meanwhile, most of the people
who now lived here spoke Spanish.
Covert military operations to seize Texas
for the US of A were begun in 1835.
Eventually, they did get Texas.
Land grabbers,
railroad companies moved in.
The economy boomed.
Some people got rich,
first on cotton,
then cattle,
then oil,
and now microelectronics.
The silicon-based transistor
was first proposed here in 1949.
In 1958 Mr. Jack Kilby
invented the integrated circuit.
He was working at Texas Instruments then.
He doesn't work there anymore.
This is the 150th anniversary
of the State of Texas.
Prince Charlie, Duke of Windsor,
Prince of Wales,
even he came here for
the sesquicentennial opening ceremonies.
This, out here, this is Virgil, Texas.
Their celebration's gonna happen this Friday.
They're gonna have a parade
that runs down the main street in the morning.
And then outside of town that night
they're gonna have a talent show.
You know, in a couple of years...
this'll probably all be built up.
[radio: orchestral music playing,
volume increases]
Radio reception's great here!
[narrator]
Although the center of town is pretty old,
around the outside
there's been a lot of people moving in.
A lot of construction.
- [children laughing, chattering]
- [man] Plummet right.
Steady! 5.32.
5.32. Move on.
[narrator] This is where the stage
for the performances is gonna be built.
It'll only take a couple of days
'cause it's all prefab.
They'll get it done just in time, I hope.
You think there'll be enough parking, huh?
Plummet left! Plummet left!
- 4.50.
- 4.50.
Good. Move on.
[narrator]
We'll be there soon.
[shutter clicks]
Many of Virgil's festivities
are sponsored by Varicorp.
It's a major public relations effort.
They're calling it
a Celebration of Specialness.
But this place is completely normal.
Anyway, this is the Varicorp building
just outside Virgil.
It's cool.
It's a multipurpose shape - a box.
We have no idea what's inside there.
[woman] Hey, you going to the keg party
at Don's tomorrow?
Love makes everything beautiful,
like a little puppy.
Warm and fuzzy.
You know, I like hairy men.
Jesus was hairy.
It's worth it to fall in love,
to see the beautiful world.
- [man] Love is soft and love is pure.
- Even though at heart I just sorta fall.
- Love is something that you must endure.
- [woman gasps]
Love is peaceful and love is wild.
Love's all right if it lasts a while.
[woman 2] I know everything
there is to know about love, honey.
I have seen it all and done it all.
I love money.
And men like that.
Remember when I went out
with Burt Reynolds?
Shoot, he was gonna quit the movies
and come live with me. [laughs]
I said, "Burt, darlin',
I need all of your money."
- [man 2] Look at me. Now, don't be afraid.
- He would a given it to me too.
- I'm gonna touch your nose. Don't be afraid.
- [woman 2] Men respect that.
- What's that supposed to be?
- I don't know. I'm thinking of something.
Um, you see, I can read your tones.
Everybody has tones.
It's like everybody has their own station,
like a transmitter.
And I guess you have your dial set.
Baby, I'm the only one
that has a radio.
- I'm picking you up. I'm still picking you up.
- [radio frequencies tuning]
It's sort of cool, you know,
sort of hot, sort of -
Baby, your mind is a radio
The receiver is in my head
Baby, I'm tuned to your wavelength
Let me tell you what it says
It's a transmitter
[vocalizing]
I'm picking up something good
I like it. I like it. I like it.
Seems to be a -
a different kind of attitude.
Yeah, something's happening here,
all right.
[woman on PA] Raymond Buchanan,
you're needed in Building "B."
The world is changing.
And this is the center of it right now.
Or the one of many centers.
It's a lot like music.
Computers are like that.
You can never explain the feelings
or connections to anyone else.
Figuring something out, something
that's never been understood before,
is a rhythmic experience.
Steve Jobs said that.
He used to be the head of Apple.
[lock buzzes]
Thanks.
People in the computer business
can be pretty creative,
unlike the traditional businessman.
You know, the astronauts didn't read poetry.
But that's changing.
[men chattering]
Hi, Gary.
[narrator] This is an exciting place
for you to work, then?
[man] Yeah, I guess I'd say so.
Computers are as much
a means of expression as language.
Hi.
My name is Louis.
Louis Fyne.
I been working here a number of years.
Now I'm in the Clean Room.
It's pretty okay.
I go out at night.
I'm a dancing fool. [laughs]
I'll tell you what.
[whistles]
I love the women.
Hey, there's more to life than this job.
No offense, you understand.
I'm no swinger. Not Louis.
I want to settle down and share.
It would be beautiful.
Hey, these machines are great.
They're amazing.
I tried a computer dating service once.
Wound up with a midget.
I mean, I'm not a fussy man, but...
[whistles, chuckles]
Louis, tell me, do you like children?
- [children chattering]
- They're lovely.
Well, uh, do you know
all the kids' names by now?
Uh, well, are they
sitting alphabetically? I -
See, I want a -
I want someone to share my life.
Marriage is a natural thing
and I'm a natural man.
Louis, I'd like to teach you
the lotus position.
Well, Moonstone, I'd like to learn it,
but I sit all day at work,
so not quite real flexible.
It's really quite simple.
Just take one foot, place it
on the opposite thigh very gently.
This is the most awesome yoga position.
Well, if it's awesome.
Take the other f -
Here. This one goes here.
Very gently.
- Now, careful. Careful.
- [gasping]
Very gently.
- [grunting]
- Here. Let -
No, no, that's -
that's a different position.
Back this way, Louis.
[Louis exhales]
There. Oh, you're doing very well.
Got it?
It's close. Very good!
[narrator] Well, I suppose
these freeways made this town
and a lot of others like it possible.
They're the cathedrals of our time,
someone said.
Not me.
You know, around here they have names
for the various kinds of freeway drivers.
"The Sling shotter."
"The Adventurer."
"The Marshmallow."
"The Nomad."
A-And "The Weaver."
Yup, it's fancy driving, all right.
You know, things
that never had names before
are now easily described.
Makes conversation easy.
I have something to say about the difference
between American and European cities.
But I forgot what it is.
I have it written down at home somewhere.
[horn honks]
You like music?
I know.
Everybody says they do.
Look.
I personally believe
I can see Fort Worth from here.
Most people around here
have eaten dinner already.
Don't want to be late.
Know what I mean?
Or do you?
You gotta see this.
This might be part of Virgil's
Celebration of Specialness.
Or it might not be.
You might have seen it on television,
or maybe you missed it.
Hope you don't mind loud music.
[speakers: pop music, mid-tempo]
All right, friends,
we want to welcome you.
The Crazy Cajun kinda talking at you
here in Virgil City tonight,
where everybody always has a good time.
We're going to pass you
some of that good time tonight.
Yeah, it's this ol' drink where they mix
about six different kinds of liquor in it,
but it don't taste too strong, see.
Would you like a raffle ticket?
They're 2.50 for the car.
Thanks, Sonya.
[Crazy Cajun]
You, you are the video in my mind, honey!
I feel like getting drunk tonight.
How about you?
When I was a nurse in Vietnam,
I was stuck out in the middle of the jungle
with the real Rambo.
He had the hots for me.
I mean, he was drivin' me crazy.
Hmm.
Course, it'd be difficult for anybody
not to fall in love with you in that humidity.
And then I saved his life about 50 times.
I bet you've seen me here before.
[roars, laughs]
I'm the dancing bear.
- Hi, Louis.
- Hey.
- You gonna dance in the show on Friday?
- Yeah, yeah.
- But -
- Excuse us.
I'm still having trouble with the ladies.
Buddy, I tell ya,
in fact, there are a half million
more single guys than there are gals,
and the competition is tough.
[Crazy Cajun] We're gonna have
a good time, do it to it and...
Most of them just want to swing
or aren't really serious.
- [speakers: pop music ends]
- Some of these gals are as bad as the guys.
[Crazy Cajun]
How you like them bananas there, people?
- That's mine there.
- [Louis] I'll take the red one.
We got us a song coming up
called "Wild, Wild Life."
I tell you, we want you
to lip-sing along with us.
But wait a minute. Don't do it now.
Let me tell ya about my set, you see.
[woman]
Did you see Jason's here tonight?
- Hey, Ramon. How are you?
- How's it going?
- Good to see you.
- Partying?
- Yeah, a little bit.
- Want me to read your tones, man?
Yeah. Go ahead.
Relax.
- [radio frequencies squawking]
- Chihuahua. Whew.
Hey, don't worry about it.
You're going to be all right.
You're gonna be all right.
Take it easy. See you later, man.
Now, I guaran-damn-tee you,
you know, traveling is my life.
I just work at Varicorp for a hobby.
- [Crazy Cajun] Let's go, mellow!
- [upbeat pop rock playing]
[cheering, applause]
I'm wearing
Furpajamas
I ride a
Hot potato
It's tickling my fancy
Speak up
I can't hear you
Here on this mountaintop
Ohh-ohh-ohh
I got some wild, wildlife
Ive got some news to tell you
Oh-ohh
About some wild, wildlife
Here comes the doctorin charge
Ohh-ohh-ohh
She's got some wild, wildlife
Ain't that the way you like it
Oh-ohh
Living wild, wildlife
I wrestle
With your conscience
You wrestle
With your partner
Sitting on a windowsill
But he spends his time
Behind closed doors
Check out Mr. Businessman
Ohh-ohh-ohh
- [woman whooping]
- He bought some wild, wildlife
On the way to the stock exchange
Ohh-ohh-ohh
He got some wild, wildlife
Break it up when he opens the door
Ohh-ohh-ohh
He's doing wild, wildlife
I know that's the way you like it
Oh-ohh
Living wild, wild
Peace of mind
It's a piece of cake
Thought control
You get on board anytime you like
[audience cheering, whistling]
It's like sitting on pins and needles
Things fall apart
It's scientific
Sleeping on the interstate
Ohh-ohh-ohh
Im getting wild, wildlife
Checking in and checking out
Ohh-ohh-ohh
I got a wild, wildlife
Spending all of my money and time
Ohh-ohh-ohh
Done too much wild, wildlife
We want to go where we go
Where we go, ohh-ohh-ohh
Im doing wild, wildlife
You've grown so tall
You've grown so fast, ohh-ohh-ohh
Wild, wildlife
And I know that's the way you like it
Oh-ohh
Im livin' wild, wild, wild, wild
Life
[cheering, applause]
[song ends]
[whistling]
[man on TV] The El Paso Border Patrol
picks up and returns to Jurez-
[narrator] Louis told me he heard about
a woman who lives around here
and never gets out of bed.
She's not sick.
She's got enough money
she doesn't have to.
Hey, wouldn't you?
[water running]
[woman] If I ever went downstairs,
I might be surprised, huh?
It's clean down there, isn't it, Roberto?
[voice on TV giggling]
Hi!
That girl does a good job,
doesn't she?
It's so clean, it scares me.
You know you have
a beauty operator coming over later.
Yeah. Hey, how should I
have her do me this time?
Should I get it moussed?
[TV continues:
comical music, audience laughing]
Ooh! Oh, look at that.
There's a look.
What do you think about
the gals on this show?
[Roberto] These people have too much
metal on them, Miss Rollings.
- They are reflecting kind of people.
- [Miss Rollings] You're right.
Hey, how are those shares
of Varicorp doing?
- Oh, about 30, 40, somethin' like that.
- ls that all?
- That's about it.
- Well, Im not surprised.
Cheap little pig shits.
It's the same all over.
Bunch of maniacs out there.
[disgusted grunt]
You know how hot dogs
come 10 to a pack
and buns in packs of eight or 12?
You've gotta buy nine packs
to make 'em all match up!
That's what Im talking about.
[man on TV]
Rosie, were you doing the rumba?
[narrator] Since this mall opened,
C.R. Anthony, JC Penney
and even Duke & Ayers
have all pulled out of downtown Virgil.
Shoppers here
will go wherever the bargains are,
wherever it's convenient to shop.
They don't care if they shop
in a funky old building downtown
Orin a clean, modern place like this.
- [engine of
- See, they're wise to advertisers' claims.
In a place like this,
they can comparison shop.
Everybody could hardly wait
until the mall opened.
- Said Margie Ortiz.
- I go there just about every weekend.
So do two of the other girls from work.
- See? I told you.
- [Margie humming tune]
The shopping mall
has replaced the town square
as the center of many American cities.
Shopping itself
has become the activity...
- Oh, hi!
- ...that brings people together.
- And here, the music's always playing.
- [speakers: Muzak playing]
What time is it?
No time to look back.
[boys laughing]
"Starving Peasants Sell Their Bodies
to Vampires for Blood Money."
Stores here are pretty clean.
The air is fresh,
there's plenty of parking,
plenty of space to walk around.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- How come you're not at work?
- Oh, Im working on a project at home.
- Aha.
- I send signals up.
- Oh, to satellites and things like that?
- Well, further than that, I hope.
Oh.
Hey, listen, I gotta get to work
before all hell breaks loose.
- See you.
- Don't let me stop you.
People here are inventing
their own system of beliefs.
They're creating it...
doing it, selling it,
making it up as they go along.
Driving.
Not only driving, but parking.
Hey, there's Louis!
- Hi! How you doin'?
- Hey. Pretty good. How you doin'?
Did you have any luck at the club
the other night?
Yeah. [sighs]
Women are too wild.
I had a good time anyway.
- Look at these women.
- [chattering]
- Yeah. A little old for me.
- [both chuckle]
- What are you doing here?
- Im just looking around.
I thought I'd check out
that fashion show down there.
- Aha.
- Part of the Celebration.
- Twins.
- Yeah. That's Carol and Daryl.
I knew their mama in high school.
She's a twin too.
Hi, twins!
Ah, I just thought I'd check it out.
Maybe I'd pick up a few fashion tips.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh, you know Im -
Im very aware of my appearance.
- Ive noticed.
- Yeah.
Well, just check these out here.
- Those are great!
- Yeah.
Yep.
Like the song says,
"It's a scientific lifestyle."
- [chuckles]
- Hmm.
- [woman] Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
- I don't know that one.
Welcome to another lovely event
for the Celebration of Specialness.
Today we have a fashion show
and I think it's gonna be somethin'
that you'll just love.
It's very unusual.
So come on! Let's bring on the show!
From the Dream Factory,
a bonanza of beauty!
- This place is filled with women.
- [woman] Aren't they great?
Uh, Id like to remind you there's
another event this coming Friday night...
That's Kay Culver.
...for the Celebration of Specialness.
She's married to Earl.
You've heard of him?
Mm-hmm.
Well, he pretty much single-handedly
brought Varicorp to Virgil.
- [audience applauding]
- First, take the 285 -
I bet this mall wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for him.
Oh, yeah?
Im having dinner with them later.
[Kay continues speaking]
Well, listen, I heard -
I heard that Earl and Kay
haven't spoken to one another in years.
At least, not directly.
Do you believe it?
Okay.
What time is it?
If everyone notices,
maybe it's too much.
But where would we be?
29.95 is a pretty good price.
With six outfits
and as many combinations,
well, the possibilities are endless.
Shopping is a feeling.
Sometimes I get a wobbly feeling.
I have a commercial feeling.
Be sexy in business.
- Be successful at night.
- [applause]
- Think of where you'll be each day...
- I stole it off a spaceship.
...and coordinate your outfits to match!
Let the children do the shopping.
If the room is pink, you're in the pink.
You have arrived. It's all you.
There ought to be a law.
When you were little
You dreamed you were big
You must have been something
A real tiny kid
You wish you were me
I wish I was you
Don't you wake up
The dream will come true
Ever dream
Has a name
And names
Tell your story
[audience gasping, chattering]
This song is your dream
You're the dream operator
[audience gasping, applauding]
It's bigger than life
You know it's all me
My face is a book
But it's not what it seems
Three angels above
The whole human race
Dream us to life
They dream me a face
And ever dream tells it all
And this is your story
You dreamed me a heart
You're the dream operator
Shake-it-up dream
[applause]
Hi-Di-ho dream
Fix-it-up dream
Hmm!
Look at me dream
Ive been waiting so long
Now I am your dream
- Hard to forget
- [applause, cheering]
Hard to go on
When you fall asleep
You're out on your own
Let go of your life
Grab on to my hand
Here in the clouds
Where we'll understand
And you dreamed it all
And this is your story
Do you know
Who you are?
You're the dream operator
- Darling!
- [clattering]
[all gasping]
[man] You know, I don't think
I've felt this way before.
[woman] I know. Me neither.
[man] My s-stomach feels all fluttery.
[woman] It's great though, huh?
[man] Yeah, l-l guess.
But people at work
must think Im going nuts though.
[woman] Well, if this is being nuts,
then I don't ever want to be sane.
[kisses]
[man sighs]
[woman] Um, did you fart?
[woman]
Yeah, Im in the construction business.
Got work going on at five sites right now.
[laughs]
Bought me a condo last week.
Shoot, real close to here,
as a matter of fact.
And next week I just think
I might buy me another house.
Darlin', Ill tell you what now,
I just have a feel for it.
You know what I mean? [laughs]
Course, being overly psychic
sure doesn't hurt anything.
It's paid off for me.
Listen, Mr. Frye, Ill tell you som-
- Fyne. Louis.
- Fyne, uh -
Louis darlin', listen,
Ill tell you something
if you promise not to tell
another living soul.
Now, Id never tell this to anybody else,
but I believe
that part of my extra-psychic ability
is connected up with the fact
that I was born with a tail.
A little ol' bitty, hairy thing
about that long.
Had it surgically removed
when I was just five years old.
My mama kept it in a fruit jar
up in the medicine cabinet,
right between the 4 Way Cold Tablets
and the monkey blood.
[laughs]
Id get up every morning.
First thing, Id go in there
in the bathroom, brush my teeth,
and stare at my own tail
at the same time.
Now, something like that
can give you power, and that's the truth.
Then Mama got a wild hair
one Sunday
and she decided to go make
a lot of money off it, you know.
Took it out to a big ol' swap meet
and sold it to Lyndon Johnson's
top Secret Service agent.
And he told a good,
personal friend of mine
that he was gonna sell it for even more
money to the Smithsonian Institute.
Shoot, he might as well!
It wouldn't do him any good.
It wasn't his tail.
[laughing]
Gee, Ill tell you, I could write a book.
That thing'd be a best seller.
You know, that's funny.
You mentioned writing. Im...
kind of a writer myself.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
I wrote me a little song
I wanna do at the show Friday.
- That's great!
- Yeah, I hope - hope it turns out all right.
- Im a little nervous.
- Oh, don't be nervous.
Songs are easy.
I wrote "Billie Jean"
and half of Elvis's songs.
- Elvis?
- Hell, yes.
They pay me and I keep quiet.
Somebody's gotta do it.
Excuse me just a minute, pumpkin.
Ill be right back. Okay?
Oh, sure, sure.
Ill be right here.
[singing opera in Italian]
[Kay] Shall we take a moment
and give our thanks? Hmm?
Amen.
Linda, will you ask your father
to pass this down to our guest?
This looks great, Mrs. Culver.
- Dad, will you pass this down?
- Oh. Yes.
Larry, would you pass this down, please?
- [Earl clears throat]
- Thank you.
Linda, would you ask your mother to
pass the mustard to our guest, please.
Um, Mom, Dad wants the mustard.
Oh.
- [Kay] Dear?
- [Earl] Mmm. Thank you.
- Whoops.
- Look out for your water now.
Here, you take this,
pass it down to our guest.
And let me grab one of these.
Oh, they're colorful. What are they, fish?
Linda, would you ask your mom
how the fashion show went today. Okay?
Sure, Dad.
Mom, how'd it go today?
Oh, Linda.
You tell him it was just wonderful.
Although one woman did have an accident,
but it wasn't anything serious.
You should've been there.
You would've been real proud of me.
She said it went great, Dad.
- You should have been there.
- Well, maybe next time.
I was there. I liked it.
Id never seen anything like that, Mrs. Culver.
Id never been to one of those things before.
Do you do that every year?
Oh, no.
This is just for the sesquicentennial.
Oh, yeah?
You guys gonna be in the parade?
Yeah! And Anderson Auto is lending us
a red convertible for it too.
- Hmm.
- [Earl] Mmm, that's right.
You know, Larry here
may have a future at Varicorp.
With his young discipline and systems
consciousness, he could go a long way.
And Varicorp is growing
like there's no tomorrow.
- [narrator] Hmm.
- Let me show you what I think is going on.
- [orchestral strings playing, faint]
- Do you hear music?
Something wrong with your sister?
Mainframe.
Microprocessor.
- Semiconductor.
- All right, Dad!
Now, if this is the town
and here is the workplace,
with its goods...
and distribution network.
[imitating truck engine]
Ah, now, most middle-class people have worked
for large corporations like Varicorp.
Or for the government itself.
But now all that's started to change.
Scientists and engineers are moving off
from those large corporations like Varicorp
and they're beginning to start
their own companies,
marketing new inventions.
Excuse me, Mr. Culver.
I forgot what these peppers represent.
- Aha! It all spins back to the middle.
- [orchestral strings continue playing, louder]
Here we are, right here in Virgil.
Our way of doing business
has been based on the past.
That's why we have to
keep these guys in Virgil,
even though they do leave Varicorp.
For the time being
it's created confusion and chaos.
- [Linda giggling]
- They don't work for money anymore.
Or to earn a place in heaven,
which was a big motivating factor
once upon a time, believe you me.
They're working and inventing
because they like it.
[asparagus landing on table]
- Economics has become a spiritual thing.
- [orchestral strings continue playing]
I must admit it frightens me a little bit.
They don't seem to see
the difference between working...
and not working.
It's all become a part of one's life.
Linda. Larry.
There's no concept of weekends anymore.
[orchestral strings continue playing]
[music ends]
[man] It thrills me.
It thrills me!
We can build a nation
inside a nation
right where we are.
The choice is yours.
Im not a joiner.
Im not a member
of the John Birch Society
or the Communist Party.
But let's look at what's happened
to the national morals
since World War ll.
We lost the Vietnam War.
[organ: emphatic flourish]
The movies and the television
are filled with characters
I don't even want to know.
- Not in this life.
- [congregation] Amen!
- The farmer's in trouble.
- [organ: sharp flourish]
- The small businessman is in trouble.
- [organ: sharp flourish]
Unemployment is skyrocketing!
[congregation] Amen!
Texas is still paying
for John Kennedy's death, my friends.
[woman] It was love
that killed John F. Kennedy!
He should have never messed with me.
"Oh, no, I know nothing, Your Honor."
They want me to speak on 60 Minutes.
Mike Wallace wants my body.
I don't tell a soul.
Well, they gave me so much money.
What could I do?
- Uh... thank you.
- [organ: quick flourish]
That's exactly what Im talking about.
Now, let's look at
who's been running this country
since World War ll.
[organ: sustained chord]
[preacher]
They have some involvement
in all of these.
What is the link?
What do cars have to do with books,
you might ask?
The Trilateral Commission
with the Council on Foreign Relations.
Did you ever hear of them?
Well, neither did I,
until I noticed the chain of coincidence.
- [full band playing intro]
- They have members
on the boards
of all the largest corporations.
Not one detail has been left out.
Am I right? Do you feel it?
[congregation] Yes! Uh-huh!
Do you know what Bobby Ray Inman
was doing before he was running
the microelectronics
and the Computer Tech Corporation?
Well, guess!
A CIA director!
- [congregation gasping, murmuring]
- It's public knowledge.
Do you run out of Kleenex, paper towels
and toilet paper at the same time?
- You know it's true!
- It's all true!
You remember how Governor White
campaigned to get the MCC here.
- [band: intro building intensity]
- Do you know what their goal is? Huh?
Well, Elvis did!
Artificial intelligence! Huh?
Robots!
Oh, they'd like that, wouldn't they?
Yes, sir! Sleep! Sleep!
One and one does not equal two!
No, sir! No, sir!
Silicon Gulch! Silicon Prairie!
Silicon Hill! Silicon Valley!
You'd better wake up.
It's late
It's late
It's late
You got the CBS
And the ABC
You got Time and Newsweek
They're the same to me
Now, don't you want to
Get right with me
[choir]
Puzzling evidence
I hope you get everthing you need
[choir]
Puzzling evidence
Well, it's puzzling evidence
Puzzling evidence
Puzzling evidence
Done hardened in your heart
Oh, hardened in your heart
[preacher] Y'all listenin'?
Now, I am the gun
And you are the bullet
I got the power and glory
[choir]
Puzzling
And the money to buy it
[choir]
Puzzling
You got your Gulfand Western
And your Mastercard
- You got
- [choir] Puzzling evidence
Got what you wanted
Lost what you had, yes
[choir]
Puzzling evidence
Im seeing puzzling evidence
Puzzling evidence
Puzzling evidence
Done hardened in your heart
Hardened up your heart
All right
[preacher] Are you listenin'?
What Im sayin' is real.
[choir]
Huh, huh
Huh, huh
Huh, huh
Huh, huh
- Im puzzlin'
- Huh
- Im puzzlin'
- Huh
- Im puzzlin'
- Huh
- Im puzzlin'
- Huh
Well, I hope that you're happy
With what you've made
Puzzling evidence
In the land of the free
And the home of the brave
Puzzling evidence
Im seeing puzzling evidence
Puzzling evidence
Puzzling evidence
Done hardened in your heart
It's true! [laughs]
All right, now, you all listen to what
Ive been telling you today. You hear?
All right!
[radio: choir]
Huh, huh
Huh, huh
[placid instrumental song playing]
Look at this.
Who can say it isn't beautiful?
Sky.
Bricks.
Who do you think lives there?
Four-car garage.
Hope.
Fear.
Excitement.
Satisfaction.
[Earl]
Im gonna give you a, uh - a clear vista
of the edge of, uh, the civilized world.
You see, it's like a game of leap frog.
These houses, you know,
they just keep extending the town out
further and further every year.
It's kind of weird for the first person
that moves into a community like this.
- Ill bet it is.
- But you know, it's an imaginary landscape.
A place to raise your kids.
Course, nowadays, not everyone's having kids,
not with the end of the world coming up and all.
I mean, uh, would you?
- No, no. Not at all.
- No.
Well, not until after tomorrow,
after the show, huh?
[laughing]
- Uh - Oh, good morning, boys.
- Howdy.
- How you doing? Working hard, I see.
- Yes, sir.
A little coffee break? [chuckles]
You know, it's strange,
when you look at a field and you say,
"Now, I want a bathroom there
and a kitchen over here."
Now, imagine that.
Here's a field. Take a look out.
Picture a house. Picture a lot of houses.
What else is a field good for
but building houses?
Don't you agree?
[percussion]
Hey now
Hey now, now
I want a video
I want to rock and roll
Take me to the shopping mall
Buy me a - a rubberball now
Hey now, hey now
Hey now, now
Hey now, hey now
- Hey now, now
- [bleats]
I am the king of the world!
The boss of the boys and girls!
You can live to 1 10
If you listen to what Im sayin'
Hey now, hey now
Hey now, now
Hey now, hey now
Hey now, now
Hey now, hey now
Hey now, now
[narrator] Texas is the largest producer
of metal buildings.
Metal buildings are the dream
that modern architects had
at the beginning of this century
finally come true.
But they themselves don't realize it.
That's because it doesn't take an architect
to build a metal building.
You just order 'em out of a catalog.
Just pick out your color,
the size you want, number of square feet,
what style, what you need it for.
Comes with a bunch of guys.
They put it together in a couple of days.
Maybe a week. And there you go.
You're all set to go into business.
Just slap a sign in front.
[strings playing classical music]
Drive on over. Drive it. Oh.
- [tires screeching]
- He's gon' get killed! Watch out!
[announcer]
Black + Decker's automatic shut-off iron.
Because even those with the best memories
can forget to turn their irons off.
[elephant trumpets]
- Oh! Oh, look at him. Look at that bald spot!
- [man on TV chattering]
[rock]
I was so impressed, I bought the company.
- [audience laughing]
- Ah! Lucy!
I love you, Lucy!
- Oh. Ooh!
- [robot] AT&T up 7/8ths.
That's a big one.
- [woman chatters]
- Live at Five!
- [man chatters]
- News at Ten.
News at Seven. News at Nine.
News at Eight.
- News at 1 1:30.
- [man] With us on the action line -
Suits and ties?
Hey, Robert, seen this one?
Or your money back.
- [man on TV] For how you play.
- [rock music]
Ah
- [breathing]
- [panting]
I was born in a house
With the television always on
Guess I grew up too fast
- Oh, baby. Work that hair!
- And I forgot my name
Work it!
- We're in cities at night
- Go!
- And we ain't got time on our hands
- They move like sticks.
So leave the driving to us
And it's the real thing
- That little boy's in a straitjacket.
- And you're rolling in a blender
- He must have done something bad.
- With me
And I can love you
Like a color TV
Oh-oh-oh
And now love is here
Come on and try it
- Oh! Ooh, I like that.
- I got love for sale
Got love for sale
Think they're aerobicizing.
Now love is here
Come on and try it
- Got love for sale
- Ooh, a kissing cookie.
Got love for sale
Ah-ah
I hate that stuff. It doesn't work.
Huh, huh
You can put your lip stick
All over my designer jeans
- Love chocolate.
- Ill be a video for you
Ha! It's great!
- If you turn my dial
- They got that commercial attitude.
You can cash my check
If you go down to the bank
Down at the bank
You get two for one
Fora limited time
A limited time
Push my button
The toast pops up
Love and money
Getting all mixed up
Whoa, and now love is here
Come on and try it
I got love for sale
- I think they're selling something.
- Got love for sale
And now love is here
Come on and try it
Got love for sale
I got love, love, love, love, love
Love, love, love
[woman] Today, doesn't someone
besides you deserve Mon Chri?
Mon Chri, the brand of fine chocolates
Europeans treasure most.
[robot]
Thanks, and have a happy day.
Hello. Im Louis Fyne and Im looking
for matrimony with a capital "M."
I believe in the joys and contentment
of matrimony.
Now, my chances in this world
that prints a new diet book every month
may not be that good.
Im looking for someone
who can accept me for what I am.
Im 6'3"tall and maintain
a ver consistent panda bear shape.
Im pleased with the way God made me.
I wouldn't change a thing.
Im willing to share.
Won't you please call this number?
844-W-l-F-E.
That's 844-WIFE.
Please call.
Serious inquiries only.
Mmm.
Can you believe that?
[woman] So, um, Louis,
what kind of hobbies do you have?
Do you have any pets?
No, I don't have any pets. I, uh -
- Oh.
- I had a dog when I was a boy.
Buster. [chuckles]
He was a big old thing.
- What kind?
- Oh, he was every which way.
- He's a Heinz 57, I think they call it.
- Oh, was he?
- Yeah, one of them.
- Well, they can be awful cute.
- Yeah.
- The little fluf kind.
Yeah, when they come, you know
how they give 'em to you in a basket?
They're cute like that.
Well, I like music a whole lot.
- What kind of music?
- Oh, country music.
- You like country music?
- Oh, you know I do.
Not that Hollywood country.
Oh. Hank Williams and Merle Haggard
and... Tammy and Lefty and Patsy.
- Oh, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, I think music
is one of the sweetest things.
And if it's sweet, it's probably cute.
You just can't have
enough sweetness in this world.
No, ma'am, you can't.
Yeah. As a matter of fact,
Ive written a little song myself
Im going to sing
at the show tomorrow night.
It's about my life.
What else do I know, huh?
[chuckles]
- Ill give you a little sneak preview right here.
- Would you?
You hold on right there.
I hope you like it.
It would mean a lot to Louis.
[clears throat]
In 1950 when I was born
Papa -
I haven't written this verse quite yet
Six feet tall and size 12 shoes
Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da
People like us
We don't want freedom
We - meow, meow, meow-meow
We just want
Someone
To
Love
- Ta-da!
- [gasps]
What did you think?
You know, when you're singing,
your eye sockets go back in your head
and it makes your eyes get beady.
Well, what about my music?
It's awful sad.
I couldn't have
that kind of sadness in my life.
Do you really feel that way?
I never thought about it.
Maybe I am kind of sad.
I like sad songs.
They make me want to lie on the floor.
Louis the Bear on the floor.
I guess I'll go now.
Sorry.
It was nice talking to you.
Louis the Bear...
out the door.
Good-bye.
Cheer up.
A little more bottom.
- Always a little more bottom.
- [metallic clanging]
Great. Okay, let's go to number two.
[ranchera music playing]
[squeals]
- [squeals]
- Ramon!
- You can't come in without paying.
- No, I don't want to stay and dance.
- I just want to talk to my friend, Ramon.
- I don't care. You're not coming in.
He's the guy
on that little organ over there.
En Los barrios me pueden encontrar
Porque ah, todititos me conocen
Y ya saben Que me gusta cantidad
Three dollars?
Im just gonna come right back out.
San Antonio, Corpus Christi y McAllen
Una tercia Que nunca podr olvidar
Y Si acaso vas all por esos barrios
Mis carnales Te podrn alivianar
De repente, voy y cruzo la frontera
Para Ir a divertirme a todo dar
- Ramon!
- Hey, Louis!
Can you wait five minutes, man?
I got a break.
No. Did you talk to him?
Yeah, man. You got the photograph?
You got the bucka, the cash?
Thanks.
Laredo, Matamoros o Reynosa
Da lo mismo, Porque all saben gozar
[doorbell buzzes]
[TV: siren wailing, car tires screeching]
[man on TV] Hold it right there.
[man 2 on TV]
Hey, Officer. What's going on here?
- [woman on TV] Get out of here.
- [man 1] I said freeze!
[woman 2 on TV]
What's going on here?
[bell dings]
- [man 1 mutters]
- [woman 1] Don't answer! Don't answer.
Wow. [clears throat]
Ramon gave me this address.
Oh, hi. Come on in.
Did you bring a photograph?
[chuckles]
Thank you.
[sighs] You know, Im new at this.
Don't matter. You don't have to believe.
If you follow directions,
you can't go wrong.
Mmm. Hmm.
You want to attract love.
[chuckles] How'd you know?
Your heart is too large.
You're an honest man.
Matrimony, it's my life.
I want to share my life.
[sighs]
Ive tried everything.
Often our true nature
is not what we hope it is.
But, you, in your case,
you're drawn to love.
Whatever you think is what you'll get.
Love must be drawn to you.
Why don't I take care of this here.
Discharge the negative forces
you have involuntarily received.
[claps]
Remove anything that's metallic.
Now, this will take some time.
Um, Im gonna sing tomorrow night.
- Will this help?
- Ill work on you tonight and tomorrow.
Mm-hmm. Take this.
Close it. Like that.
Now, drink three soda waters a day.
Drink half and throw half away.
- Drink half and throw half away.
- Yeah.
Think positive.
Don't let nothing enter into your mind
that's negative.
If you do that and have faith and believe,
you got it.
It's done.
Go and enjoy your love life.
Sayonara.
[man] Today, ladies and gentlemen,
all of our friends and neighbors
from Virgil, Texas,
a ver special welcome.
This is the Celebration of Specialness.
When the flag goes by
in just a few moments,
we want all of you to show Mom and Dad
that we can be respectful
to our national fag.
Introducing the famous Soul Pom Pom Girls,
Cedar Crest Comets.
And, ladies and gentlemen, just look
at the youth and vivacious experience
of those young pom pom girls.
Teenagers with a purpose in mind.
The low riders.
[cheering]
The lawn mower brigade.
This is sponsored
by Whitehead Hardwood Store.
Entry number nine.
A very, very famous group
here in this part of Texas,
the Pleasant Oak Majorettes.
And notice that beautiful purple and silver
that they're wearing.
They're sponsored by
our very own Misses Fashion Depot.
And they've got plenty of special talent.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Pleasant Oak Majorettes.
- Hey!
- Oh, hey!
- The Bear.
- [laughing]
- How you doing? Look at that hat.
- Great outfit.
Thank you, thank you. Feeling good.
[announcer] Introducing Earl and Kay Culver
and their two lovely children, Linda and Larry.
- You know, I usually don't like parades.
- No.
But this one's different.
In fact, it's the first time in 30 years.
Earl, we want to thank you
for all the work that you've done.
All the committees.
And you've been great.
We want to salute you, okay?
Few people know he's got a bull
tattooed on his stomach.
Earl Culver?
Coming all the way from Sunset High School
to be in Virgil's special parade,
the ivory and gold of Sunset High School.
- Ladies and gentlemen -
- Bye. See you Monday.
Listen to this beautiful music.
Z Pereira!
Z Pereira!
Ill guarantee you, ladies and gentlemen,
here's something you will not see
in many parades.
Our ver famous visitors,
the Red Mustang Shriners!
A big hand of applause.
I want you to notice
that they're driving with one hand.
We've got a very special surprise.
Ill bet there's not another parade
in the country that's got babies.
[woman]
Here they come. Here they come!
Isn't that adorable?
Oh, they're so cute!
No. These - Look at those two!
Would you look at those two babies?
- Oh!
- [baby crying]
Im melting!
This - Oh, boy.
Hi there.
Do you know what a little doll you are?
Let's give a big, big hand
to the Accordion Band of Virgil.
And, fans, don't forget the show tonight.
It's sponsored by Varicorp.
It's all local talent.
Now, don't forget, that's tonight.
The big show.
There'll be chairs for your convenience,
so you don't have to sit on your coolers.
Let's see.
Take, uh, 157 to 287,
and then a left at the Kmart,
and then go two miles.
Im really getting used to these outfits.
They sell a lot of 'em,
but I don't see anybody else wearing them.
[Earl] Hi out there.
Good evening and welcome.
Welcome to our talent show
under the stars.
Before we begin,
I want to just tell you a little story
that I heard about Texas recently
in a local tavern.
Seems as though God
was working around the earth here,
trying to make it beautiful,
just like the rest of the world.
He had to knock off
because it was nighttime.
He said, "Ill come back tomorrow and make it
just as pretty as the rest of the world,
with lakes and streams
and mountains and trees."
Then he got back the next day
and he saw that the ground
had completely hardened like concrete.
And he didn't want to begin
all over again, no.
In his infinite wisdom, he had an idea.
He said, "I know what I'll do.
Ill make some people
that like it this way."
[laughing]
I want you to welcome this first act here.
They'll tell you more about Texas
in five seconds than you'd ever want to know.
I want you to welcome, please,
Charles Connour, Norm Seaton,
and Randy Erwin.
- [man] All right.
- [applauding]
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
Ill bid 10, and 50, 20, 10, 50, 20.
Fifty, 20 and 50, 30 and 20,
20 and 50, 30.
Twenty, make it a 30, 30 make it a 40,
40 make it a 50, 50 make it 60, 60 make it 70.
[yodeling]
- Fifty, 60. 60 -
- I can talk that fast.
No.
- [auctioneers speaking simultaneously]
- [yodeling]
Five 10, five 20, five 10, put up a 20.
Twenty-five 10, put up a 20. Thirty!
Thirty! Put up a 30. Ill pass for you.
Thirty. Put up a 40. Fifty. Fifty.
Put up a 50 on five. Forty and 50.
Five and a half, 60 and a five,
60, make it five 75.
[yodeling quickly]
600. Now 10. And 10,
600 and 10, 10, 10, give me 10.
Now bid 620. 620, put it with 630.
620, put it with 30, bid 40.
640, put it with 50, 650.
650, six, six, six, 670, eight.
Put it 670, makes it -
700 ought to be enough. 710.
[yodeling quickly]
710. Go to 15. 720. 710, put up a 20.
- [speaking fast]
- [yodeling fast]
710 makes 720, stuck on 710.
710, give me 720. Put up a 20.
710, now 20, put up a 30.
Keep a 30, put up a 30.
Put up a 40. Forty, 40, up to 50.
- [auctioneering continues]
- [yodeling continues]
[audience applauding, cheering]
[band: up-tempo song]
- [song ends]
- [audience cheering, applauding]
Yeah! Whoo!
Divine order, take charge
of my life today and every day.
All things work together
for good for me today.
This is a new and wonderful day for me.
There will never be another one
like this one.
Im divinely guided all day long.
And whatever I do will prosper.
Divine love, enfold me,
surround me and enrapt me.
And I will go forth in peace.
I am going to be a wonderful success
in all of my undertakings today.
And you are going to be happy...
from now on.
Shoot, they been begging me
to be the lead singer for this band,
but my managers won't let me do anything,
you know, local or anything amateur.
Then they decided
I was too much like Pat Benatar.
[cheering]
Transmitter
Im picking up something good
Hey, radio head
It's the sound of a brand-new world
Now you and I have no secrets
Now, baby, let me read your mind
I hear everything you're thinking
You can't help the way you sound
Transmitter
Oh, picking up something good
Hey, radio head
It's the sound of a brand-new world
Radio head
Oh, oh, radio head
Ooh-ooh-ooh, radio head
Yeah, radio head
Oh, radio head
Hey, hey, radio head
Ooh, radio head
Radio head
[audience applauding, cheering]
Yohimbe. Yohimbe.
Cimalo. Guede nimbo.
Oh.
You'll be, mm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Magnet for money
You'll be, mm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Magnet for love
You'll feel, mmm
Lightin your body
Now I'm gonna say
Gonna say these words
Rompiendo la monotonia
Del tiempo
Rompiendo la monotonia
- I just came to wish you good luck.
- Del tiempo
Well, bless your heart.
It might, mm-hmm-hmm-hmm
[laughing]
Rain money
It might, mm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Mightrain fire
You tell him that I never want
to see him again.
That goes for the state capitol as well.
How often have I told you
not to mix with that oil field trash?
[high voice]
What I do is between me and Rick.
Get yourself a sign
Get to love and desire
Rompiendo la monotonia
Del tiempo
Rompiendo la monotonia
Del tiempo
Papa Legba
Come and open the gate
Hey, Papa Legba
How about them old line dancers?
- I don't think they'd fit in my house.
- [laughing]
We are your children
Come and ride your horse
In the night, in the night
Come and ride your horse
There is a queen
Six, seven and nine
Dustin your garden
And poison in your mind
There is a king
That will steal your soul
Don't let him catch you
Don't let him get control
Papa Legba
Come and open the gate
Papa Legba
To the city of camps
We are your children
Come and ride your horse
In the night, in the night
Come and ride your horse
In the night, in the night
Come and ride your horse
[audience applauding]
[Earl] Oh, yes. Now wasn't that nice?
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
I want you to welcome the Country Bachelors.
[country intro playing]
[roars]
In 1950 when I was born
Papa couldn't afford to buy us much
He said be proud of what you are
There's something special
'Bout people like us
People like us
Who will answer the telephone
People like us
Growing big as a house
People like us
We're going to make it because
We don't want freedom
We don't want justice
We just want someone to love
Someone to love
Well, now
What good is freedom?
God laughs at people like us
I see it coming
Like a light coming down from above
The clouds roll by
And the moon comes up
How long must we live
In the heat of the sun?
Millions of people are waiting on love
And this is a song about people like us
People like us
Who will answer the telephone
People like us
Growing big as a house
People like us
We're gonna make it because
We don't want freedom
We don't want justice
We just want someone to love
Someone to love
Someone to love
Someone to love
[audience applauding, cheering]
[cheering continues]
Hello?
Yes.
[Louis] This place is a dream palace.
- Confidentially, he did ask me first.
- Did you see the catalog?
- Oh, no, I didn't.
- Oh, it's gorgeous!
- You have to look at it.
- Oh. Well, you're gorgeous.
You saw this, didn't you? Cute, ain't it?
I think we chose right.
Do you like the colors?
- Oh, well, I love turquoise.
- [Louis] I think you can see Varicorp from here.
Hey, Louis.
Where you going on your honeymoon?
The Bear is staying with me.
[The Lying Woman] I think he's from Pluto.
Or he might be from Venus.
You know, he is real good-looking.
This is not a rental car.
This is privately owned.
Well, I really enjoy forgetting.
When I first come to a place,
I notice all the little details.
I notice the way the sky looks,
the color of white paper,
the way people walk, doorknobs.
Everything.
Then I get used to the place
and I don't notice those things anymore.
So only by forgetting
can I see the place again as it really is.
Na-Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na-Na
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na
Na-Na, mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm
Na-Na, mm-mm-mm
Na-Na, mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm
Mm-mm-Na-Na-Na
Na-Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na-Na
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm
Mm-mm-mm-mm, mm-mm-mm-mm
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na
Na-oom-ma, oom-ma, oom-ma
Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm
[fades]
Here where you are standing
Dinosaurs did a dance
The Indians told a story
Now it has come to pass
The Indians had a legend
The Spaniards lived for gold
White man came and killed them
But they haven't really gone
We live in the city of dreams
We drive on this highway of fire
Should we awake and find it gone
Remember this, our favorite town
From Germany and Europe
And southern USA
They made this little town here
That we live in to this day
The children of the white man
Saw Indians on TV
And heard about the legend
How their city was a dream
We live
In the city of dreams
We drive
On this highway of fire
Should we awake
And find it gone
Remember this
Our favorite town
The Civil War is over
And World War I and II
If we can live together
The dream
It might come true
Underneath the concrete
The dream is still alive
A hundred million lifetimes
A world that never dies
We live
In the city of dreams
We drive
On this highway of fire
Should we awake
And find it gone
Remember this
Our favorite town
[song ends]