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Tumbledown (2015)
It's your oldest fear
That the love you can hear Will go r And it's a deafening sound We become light on the ground Then soil To be one with the sky Where the souls all collide and turn to gold... Woman: In the middle, you feel like it's never going to end. But he was with me. I was going to make it. I remember that morning. Hunter made me a deal. He'd clean out the basement if I swam all the way across the lake. I dove right in. Our basement was a nightmare. But it turns out that gliding along behind me that's when the last song on the album came to him. The first time I brought him here to show him where I grew up, he decided that this was where he wanted to write music, have a zillion kids, have a yard big enough to get lost in... We are stones to be seen In the meadows we are dreams to be free ...to become part of the wilderness instead of just part of some scene. It's where we bow our heads to pray - We are echoes... - Most of the songs on the album, I don't really know where they came from, but I was there for that one. So I hold onto that track as the one that we wrote together. Together as it was supposed to be, because the plan was never to live in the fricking woods all my myself. We are free... But here I am, still way out in the middle... without him. Don't look at me with that tone of voice. We are stones to be seen In the meadows we are dreams to be free It's where we bow our heads to pray We are echoes God creates into shapes It's where the love can come in Your breath becomes the wind in the trees We are free We are free All are welcome in All are welcome in. Mr. Popular today. All right. Man: Do you have any books on how you write books? You know, all the rules and grammar, semicolons and whatnot? Yes, I would recommend "The Voyage Out" by Virginia Woolf. It's on the fiction aisle, bottom shelf, lilac spine. I'm ready for my next assignment. Hannah, don't waste your time, all right? I'm giving the column to somebody else this week. What? Who? I am done playing the fiddle to your procrastination dance. Oh, hey, Upton, no, don't test me today. I worked all morning. I did. Give me an interview. Come on. And make it a good one, hmm? Esther Greeley. Birthdate number 88. - Bless her heart. - Now, 600 words, and I insist you spend a minimum amount of time on it. That "Franklin Journal," it's always striving for excellence. Yeah. Did my special order come in? The biographies? Yes, they did. I have to be well-versed in the full spectrum of the genre. Well, this ought to do it. That's going to be some good writing. - Here. - Give me that. All right. You're a man of such loose morals behind the cash register. - Thank you. - You know what? - Keep that one. - I don't want that one. Well, you might. - Maybe I do. - You're going to love it. Hmm. Ooh. Hey! Hello. Okay, guys' Off we go. Come on, come on. Answering machine: You have two unheard messages. First message. Man: Hello, Miss Miles. It's Andrew McCabe again. You know, I'm not sure if you're getting any of these messages, but I still would like to speak to you about your late husband. - I've been studying his work-- - Answering machine: Message erased. - Next message. - Come on. There you go. Andrew: Well, maybe you'll pick up one of these days. So in the meantime, I'll just go ahead and tell your machine a little bit about myself. I'm a scholar, writer, associate professor - at Hofstra University... - Good boy. ...in pop culture and American studies. Go! Go! Fetch! Andrew McCabe. Let's see. Professor. Stalker, possibly. Huh. Uh-huh. Well, congratulations. You write for the Internet. Man: Howdy. - Hi, Hannah. - Oh, hi. You brought a bird. - Had to evict this little critter. - Hmm. - Real little fella. - Aw. Thought maybe you'd want to tend to him. You know, I-- I actually just sat down to do some work. Well, I'm on my lunch break presently and I guess I thought a bird in the hand was worth me in the bush. Hannah on machine: Hi, I'm not here. Leave a message. Woman: Noodle? Noodle, are you there? - It's Mom. - Mom! You're not going to like this, sweetie, but apparently there's some tight-jeaned fast-talker from the Big Apple who showed up in town today riding some fancy motorcycle. He's been asking everybody all sorts of personal questions about Hunter. No. So I guess you've got another muckraking reporter type-- What? Mom? Hey, what? From New York? Yeah, hi, honey. I guess he teaches at Hofstra or something. Anyway, he's in the Chickadee Suite at the Mount Blue Motel in case you want to pay him a little visit. No. Okay, Mom. I got to go. Hofstra? Hello? Hofstra? You in? What is that? I got it. Upton! There's some underhanded, citified star-humper all up my in grill. I think he's at the coffee shop. Will you come with me and help me crush him, please? - Crush me? - What the...? I could fling you like a Frisbee. Okay. - Told you she was a spunky one. - I love spunky. Hannah, this is Andrew McCabe. We were just talking about some really cool stuff. - Yes. - You know, he teaches at-- Hofstra. - Hofstra. - That's right, yeah. You want the restraining order now or you want to wait for the libel suit? Huh? ' Sorry? You parasites are done running Hunter through the rumor mill. - Got that? - Oh, boy. Talk about barking up the wrong tree. If you're talking about magazines, I agree with you-- they're trash. - No, I'm writing a book. - He's writing a book. Traitor. Look, and everybody that matters is going to be in it, okay? But Hunter Miles could be its heart and soul. All right. Well, you're awfully tenacious, I'll give you that. Thank you. But my husband was a person, a real man. And every song he ever wrote and everything he ever touched is mine. Got that? Mine. The end. Mine. This crazy widow routine of yours, does that work on people? I mean, it seems a little over the top. - Sorry. That's too much. - Yeah. Andrew: Sorry. Um, hey, look. I've got respect fathoms deep for everything your husband had to say in those shattering songs, okay? Those too few so-- where did you get that? Hey! What are you doing? Hey! Hey, whoa! Come here! Hey! Give that back. Okay, lady, look. That's not yours to ruin, okay? Sorry. One second. Please, will you give me back my book? Are you-- it's like a snow globe in here. It's-- a lot of work went into this, you know? Go ahead, sir. Please, please. Are you kidding me? Who does this? You make a very lousy first impression. You know, there are many stages of grief. Oh: yeah? Hannah's currently going through vandalism. Yeah. Spunky, huh? Thanks for the warning. "Lend an open heart to Hunter's words and you soon recognize that these were always wounded impre-- impre-- imprecations from some distant remove, a windswept field of high grass and dying light, otherworldly, Elysian." Ugh. "The man was singing from transcendence long before his soul floated across that deep cold river... yet he shines with hope. He pulls you beneath the covers for a flashlit whisper session... shining on to who we are, what we run from... and who we hope in our hearts to become." I'll make other plans To meet you On a distant shore Of your choosing Be your guiding light On the horizon... Hannah on machine: Hi, I'm not here. Leave a message. Andrew: Okay, look, um, I just assumed after a couple of years... you might be ready to talk about him. I misjudged that and I am really sorry. But your husband means a lot to me, genuinely. All right, I'll tell you what. I'm getting something to eat at the diner and then I'm leaving town, okay? But I-- I really want my notebook back, man. Or what's left of it, anyway. All right. All I've decided is that I'll listen to you. Okay, but it's going to be the sound of chewing for a minute. You got 30 seconds. Make your case. Okay, well, I'm not going to need that long. I want to make your husband immortal. That's a cruel thing to say. No, no, what's cruel is no matter how good his music was, it's getting buried in an avalanche of cheesy singles. Someone needs to build a monument to raise him up above the rubble. Right, and that's you? Associate Professor of Truth on your hog? It's not a hog. It's a cafe racer. It's European. Come on. Here. Ahem. Got a few questions. Yeah, well, me first. So this book of yours... It's not gossip. It's not reference, it's not fiction, okay? But it is wildly romantic. It's about the chorus of lost voices-- artists, poets, musicians, all of whom failed to navigate out of the woods of their youth. And to understand why, what I'm trying to do is deconstruct the edifice of commodification that I believe our society has entombed the creative urge. I mean, he's like the patron saint of this whole ethos. You know what? I'm not that worried. Nobody's reading this book. What do you want to know? Um, yeah. Okay, so Hunter grew up in Philly. Yeah? He's a drummer in a punk band, right? Suddenly he's singing his heart out on the edge of the earth with an acoustic guitar. - How the hell does that happen? - He loved it up here. Did he? I mean, I-- he loved you and you're from up here. All right, yeah. The whole thing is my fault. - Can I get that out of the way for you? - Oh, yeah. Right. You know what? I'll take that home for the hounds. - Are we done? - No. No, no, no. You know what? What I really want to know is, you know, like-- okay, here is a sensitive soul who gives us a single, nearly perfect album from the woods of Maine, right? And then before all the tours and the radio play the chaos, the corruption... poof, he's gone. You know, what happened? Like, some accident or something? Yeah. I'll be right back. Hey, Hannah, just let me talk to you, okay? Okay, McCabe. You got good taste in music. You got your theories about consumer blah-blah, but here's the deal. Any monument that gets built for him, I'm laying the bricks. Okay, will you-- hold on, all right? Whoa! Hey, easy. Look, I just want to say, man, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry you want to just let him slip away for good. You know, I hope you get promoted or rich or on "The View" or whatever it is that made you haul yourself up here. Get off my truck. You're condemning a genius to obscurity. Work on this with me. I am working on it, dickweed. - I'm writing his biography. - What? Wait, hold on. Stop. - No. - Roll it down right now, please. Come on, let's talk about this. Please! Okay. Fine. Never mind. Nice meeting you. Andrew: She just stonewalled me. I mean, I don't even know if I can use him in the book at all. That sucks, because he would have been the cornerstone of the whole frigging'... Look, he wrote one surprising album, he had a lot of potential, and it sucks that he died so young. Yeah, but, honey, how many stacks of dissertations have been written about, you know-- I mean, hell, you got Cobain, Buckley, Arbus. Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, David Foster Wallace. On and on, you know? Hunter Miles? Uncharted territory. Walked out on the frozen lake... Tenure in the bag, man. No, no, no. This does not make or break you. Come downtown with me. I scout three bands a week that are much more cutting-edge than Hunter Miles. I know that, honey, but that's what's so great about him. There's nothing cutting-edge about him. He's timeless. He's... Oh, well. Hmm? Hey, to Hunter Miles. Echo, echo all again Rewind and then erase Mainstays and saving grace Mainstays and my resting... Curtis: Howdy! Upton: As the space pod zoomed across the horizon, the captain roared in his reptilian voice, "Lizardbot, unleash your snot fire!" Ha! Upton: Unleash! Hannah. Hannah Miles. - I'll come back. - Get over here. I didn't know you were a fan of "The Worm of Gondolak." Uh, here. Just read it, please. It's part of an intro, and then something like a first chapter, and then some epilogue. - It's a start, right? - Uh-huh. Um... Uh, hold-- There's some interesting stuff here. It's just that I know what you're capable of. You know, when you're on, you're like a fanged wolf howling from a mountain top. But this is a toothless piglet lost in the woods. Great. Thank you. Hannah, you're attempting the impossible. It's okay to ask for help. Yeah, well, thank you, Upton, but I'm not going to drop this in your lap. Well, you're welcome, but it's not my lap I'm thinking of. Never. Come here. Huh? Andrew: Fiction or autobiography? Pose or confession, Biggie was as much defined by as he was killed by his Ten Crack Commandments. So I ask you, what does that mean, to hinge your street cred on your own mortal evanescence? That is all. Oh, and, hey, just to look ahead, after the break we're going to be diving into the Kool Herc materials, so start thinking cultural appropriation, sampling the break. Which is not the same thing as copy-pasting your midterms from a Wikipedia page, Mr. O'Brien. Busted. Oh, Professor. Oh, nice surprise. What are you doing here? I thought you might like some sushi. Lifesaver. Yes, very much so. - Yeah, we'll eat over here. - All right. Hold on one sec. Hello? Hi, it's your uncooperative widow friend. Well, hello there, Miss Hannah Miles. - How are you? - I'm good. How's New York? Full of too many people, as always? So here's the thing, this research or whatever it is that you're doing on my husband, I-- I don't like it, and Hunter would have kicked your ass for so many reasons, but I also think that he would have respected your take on the songs. Well, I'm sorry. Respect me? The muckraking, star-humping dickweed? Did I forget any? lam willing to let go of my first impressions-- Oh, good, good. Well, then me, too. Hold on a second here. Psychotic, ball-busting widow. Poof. To the wind. Proceed. You know, you're just the last in a long line of bloodsuckers coming here to dig up dirt, so you-- No, no, no. I'm not digging up a damn thing. What are you doing? Are you just calling to screw with me? No, no, no. I have a proposition. A proposal. Have you ever written a biography? - Finley: What? - Shh. Shh. Okay, I see what's going on here. You're just a crazy person. Yes, apparently, because I think that you have half a brain, and I need it... to help me distill the life of an incredible person into a couple dozen thousand words. But, I mean, I've got a book deal with Random House. And a pub date, you know what I mean? - What do you got? - Nothing. Well, I got the truth of his last 10 years. I'd give you access to all the fun stuff-- the sheet music and drafts of his lyrics. Okay, okay. Hold on. Let's just talk this through for a second, will ya? All right, so I write this bio... We write this bio. We write it? Like, together? Okay, I call left side of the keyboard. We co-author it. Your name goes on the spine right under mine. Okay, Hannah, I have an advance. Well-- well, Hunter's life insurance policy wasn't huge, but, uh... I could do 40. - Um" - Finley: Are you kidding me? - Jack it up, jack it up. - What do you mean, jack it up? That's, like, five times my advance, plus she's giving me the keys to the kingdom. 50. That's all I got. Okay, look, take your time. Think it over. I tell you what, Miss Miles. You just bought yourself a typist. Yes! What? Really? Okay, so I guess that means that you'd be coming up here. Uh, yeah, yeah. We've got spring break coming up. I have a guest room. You could stay in the guest room. Uh, yeah. Yeah, no. I guess that would work. Okay, well, I will see you in vacation land. - I will bring my swim trunks. - Ha. You know, there she is Matches of sunlight Keep me honest and true One won't need me Worn out my welcome Sing you never in a song... Okay, we'll let... ...the strange man into our house. - Hi. - Hey. - Hey. - Oh, look at these guys. - Show no fear. - Look at that. These are the hounds. This is Ripken. This is Glover. Ripken, Glover. Excellent Hi, I'm Andrew. Hello. This is what I smell like. Yeah, okay. He's not sure. Okay, we'll take you in here. - Yeah. - Come on. In you go. Bedtime. Bedtime. - Hello, again. - Hi. Yeah. You know, it's nice to be in business with you. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. How were the roads? Oh, I'm-- unmarked, tractionless, a waking nightmare of snow blindness. - You, uh...? - Yes. No, yeah, please. That would be helpful. I mean, don't get me wrong, I find moonlight as romantic as the next guy, but kiss my ass if I'm expected to drive by it. You city people, you have this whole "don't mess with me" exoskeleton, but you're generally just such pussies. I mean, this will be done by the morning. - It's just a tease. - Mm-hmm. You sure you don't want some tea or something to help you, uh...? No, thanks. No, no, no. That's all right. No, you know what? Maybe you can just show me where I'll be warehousing myself this evening. - Mm-hmm. - And there I shall build a cocoon of many blankets. Call my gal, let her know I survived. She's very worried. But I will rise again, I'll tell you that. I'll be ready and raring to dive into my new job. At that point, I'll drink your tea. And by then maybe, just maybe, I'll have forgiven you for just calling me a pussy. All right? Oh, boy. Hello there. You're right. You're right. You're sleeping. My fault. You got it. - Oh! Dick move. Dick move. And you're his enabler. Andrew: Ah. Oh, hello. Hmm. Walk of shame. So this is where the magic happens, huh? Uh-huh, if smashing your head against a screen is magic, then, yes. Mm. What do you got so far? You have one of those drawers in your kitchen full of unrelated items like the small appliance manuals, dead batteries, egg beaters, how he lost his virginity, his go-to joke, his theories on why Thursday was the greatest day, and everything else that I can't forget in no apparent order. "Nothing stinks like a pile of unpublished writing," quoth Silvia Plath before preheating herself to 350. Yeah, well, enter the dragon. So I guess we can start with my notes. It's kind of like a book without any verbs. Yeah, sure, but what about his notes? You know, did he keep a journal, song ideas, things like that? No, it was mostly in his head. I do have the last interview he did. Yeah, Hannah, look, I'm all for diving right in, but I can't start thinking about the beginning of the story without knowing how it-- you know. Right. He should've been home by then. His cell kept going to voice mail, so I thought he must be still up there. There's no reception up there on Tumbledown. It got dark and I drove the roads looking for him pulled off with a flat tire or having hit a deer, worst case scenario. And then I saw his truck at the trail head. And later they went up the mountain with flashlights and dogs, and... in the middle of the night, in a shallow ravine, they found him. He was rock-climbing? Hiking. Had he never been on that trail before? Nope. He'd done it a hundred times in the same pair of boots that I got him our first Christmas in Maine. You know, sometimes you make a little mistake, you bump your knee, get a bruise. Other times you make a little mistake, and you fall off the face of a mountain. I am so sorry. It's the least interesting thing about him. Can we work on his life now? Yes. Yeah, of course. But, you know, I really think I should go up there sometime. Why? To satisfy your morbid curiosity? Sure, I mean, maybe my dad will take you up there. That is if you get to meet them. Maybe at Easter or something. Oh, will they be joining me in the guest room for spring break? No, they live in town. - Hmm. - They do a big Easter dinner thing. It's-- yeah, don't worry. You're totally off the hook. What are you talking about? I earned my master's in American Studies. Family gatherings are my bread and butter. Tried my hand... That's just this thing I was talking about earlier. It's on here. Just-- - Thank you. - Okay. And a friend I know who I was then I know who I am now Love take away - I won't need it... - Ooh. Salvation's pain Glory be Follow me down on this road One more hand to let go... Hmm. Hey, dude. - Uh... - You know, this thing's out of tune! Yeah, sat by the fire too long, probably. Mm-hmm, that'll do it. Plus, I'm playing it left-handed and don't know what I'm doing. - There's that, too. - Those three things... - Definitely. - ...add up to what you're hearing. I'm going into town to interview this, uh... Yeah, I'll be back soon. Wait, someone that knew Hunter? I'll come with. No, no. Not that. I work freelance for a local paper and write these little community portrait things. That is very sweet. Okay. I'm late. Work hard. Okay. Mm-hmm. So tell me what you ate at your birthday. The Lord's largest whoopee pie with 88 candles on it, and I blew out those puppies all by myself. Are you going to tell me what you wished for? Oh, can't do that, Hannah. Hey, it's called investigative journalism, guys. Okay? Your mom's paying me to do this. All right? Go! Go, go, go! All right? Have fun, all right? And consider what I said about Jessie's kid. Kenny ROY? Oh, he's one big hunk of man, child. Keep it in your pants, Esther. You shush. This is my interview. Happy birthday, my dear. Yeah. Hannah? You want to know what I wished for? Off the record. Well, not if it's going to break the rules. There are no rules to it, sweetheart. I wished to keep living in the present, to die just as happy as I was at my birthday party, and to be reincarnated as my granddaughter's cat. Next Friday's paper, Esther. Keep your eyes peeled. Hey, hey! Hey, hey, he!!! Back inside. Back inside! Oh, no. No, please. Are you kidding me? Hey! Guys, guys, guys. Come here! No, no, no! Ripken! Glover! Whoa! Oh, you freezing? You freezing cold? Oh! Oh, hey! Hey, you're back. I didn't see-- see you get here. Hey, what's everybody doing out here in a state of undress? I'll give you two guesses. - You didn't-- - Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, I did. No, I took them on a walk and locked all the doors by instinct. Yeah, very primal. Our Neanderthal cousins were constantly locking themselves out. Uh-huh. Yeah. This is one wet T-shirt contest I don't want to win. I'll get a fire going. Wow. You're still freezing, huh? Oh, thank you. Uh-huh. Yeah. Hunter was prone to the bone chill, too, if he wasn't wearing his long johns. I made him wear two pairs the day we got married. Hmm. Well, you know, special occasion and all. We had a whole spring wedding planned. Daffodils were just coming up and days were getting longer, and a foot of snow the day before we were supposed to get married in my parents' backyard. So Hunter says, "Come on, Buttercup, put your snowshoes on." And we clamber up and... say our vows on top of Bald Mountain. Hunt said the whole world was wearing a wedding dress that day. - Well, the man was a poet. - Hmm. I had been made redundant, so I decided to wear magenta. Yeah. Plus, you would have been camouflaged, right? "Hannah, do you take this man to be your-- wait, Hannah? Hannah, are you there? I don't see you." - Oh. - Hmm. Hannah? Are you there? I can't see you. Hannah, you all right? Oh, hey, Curtis. What are you, uh-- what's going on? - Whole county's gone black. - Huh. Right, well, great timing. Looks like we're going to have to ride this one out till morning. God, you are wicked pretty with your hair-- Jeezum crow, boss! Who are you, if you don't mind my barging in? This is my friend Andrew McCabe. We were at college together. He's just... This is Curtis. He provides light for western Maine... - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. ...and single-handedly keeps the deer population under control. - Well... - Andrew: Oh, yeah? You make deer condoms, huh? Kidding. Speak of the devil. Got some venison from the deep-freeze. Looks like I thawed out a bit more than I could chew. Curtis, that's sweet. Here, let me take it from you. Here. Thank you. Okay. There we go. I'll cook it up tonight. Oh, you want to-- you want to stay? Wha-- aw, no. I-- I wouldn't want to interrupt you and your old friend catching up on whatever, et cetera. See, that's the good thing about being a hunter, Andy, is that even when the gatherers are up a creek because they realize they haven't put away enough nuts and seeds to last the winter, a hunter, he can find himself dinner any day of the week as long as he can sniff out the right dung, keep a steady shot. Yeah. Oh, boy, I hear you. Loud and clear. Couldn't agree more. I don't think I'd get on in the city without my Glock. You know, when things get really nasty and I haven't been able to gather up enough takeout menus, I just head up to the park, blow up a beaver. See, I'd probably go for the raccoon first. - Oh, yeah? Why's that? - More white meat. Yeah, that's a good tip. Appreciate that. So, Curt, what do you do for fun up here? Is it too cold for ice cream? That's all right, Hannie. I, uh, ahem-- sure I'll be up licking the crack of dawn tomorrow. But it sure was nice meeting your smart-ass buddy. And I look forward to our next rendezvous. Hannah: Okay. - Oh, hey. - Hmm? Sometime we should, uh-- we should get dinner and a dump. Mmm! It's very neighborly of you to check in on me. I will see you sometime, hmm? Mm-hmm. - Oh. - What? What? I didn't say anything! What are you-- what are you talking about? Aw, come on! No, I-- what? It's very rare for me to get to dine with the executioned and its executioner, that's all I'm saying. No, you don't know me well enough to bust my chops. - Here. - What? Here. Come on, get over there, unless you want to die of cold. No. No, thank you. Honestly, I think it's great. No, seriously, though. I think it's good. I think it's a good thing for you to be getting back on that horse. And that guy-- oh, boy. What a thoroughbred. Hold on, young lady. You might be falling in love again. Good for you. I've known him since high school and he's awesome in bed, and that's all he is. Wow. Never had any intention of, uh... hearing you say those words. There they are. Hey- - Shh! - But seriously. - What? - If I freeze to death... - Mm-hmm. I just want you to know this has been some of the weirdest shit I've ever dealt with in my life. You're welcome. Good night. Andrew: No, it-- it's actually pretty nice out. Well, it's Easter, so I assume we'll be beheading the sacrificial lamb before dinner, right? Okay. Wait, hold on one sec. Look, you know, you really don't have to do this. Why don't you just take the truck home and there's a nice bottle of Macallan under the kitchen sink. No, no, no. I'm solid as a rock. And hungry. This is going to be great. - Great. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right? Hey, hon, we're here, so I should really get rolling. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, I'm curious what I can discover from the rest of the flock. Hello! - Hi! Happy Easter! - Hello! Oh, hey! Holy smokes. - The gang's all here. - My favorite sister! - Hi. - Hey, get in here. Hey, you grew a beard, huh? Incoming! Oh, my God. Where did you get that? Fresh fruit! Be still, my heart. Yeah, I caught it, Mom, in my World Wide Web. Ah. Dad, can you do me a favor and just set another place? - I brought a friend along. - What, what? You couldn't tell me? I hope I have enough food. - No, it's fine. - Everybody pretend to be normal. You know what? Better still, just sit her next to me. Yeah, actually, it's-- he's a he. - Andrew. - Andrew? Mm-hmm. He's a friend of a friend and from LA. He's doing research on lakefront property in western Maine. - He's a contractor. - Well, where is he? Is he incredibly thin or something? - He's in the car on the phone. - Yeah, that's LA. So LA. So LA. - Oh! - No, Mom, I'll get the door! I'll get the door. No, no, I'll get it, I'll get it. I'll get it. No, no, no. No. - Oh, hello! Hi! - I'll get the door. - Welcome! Come in here. - Oh, hi! - Hello. How you doing? - Oh! Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Andrew. Happy Easter. Uh, no. Not Easter. Uh, Passover. Both? Well, I'm Linda, real estate holder in the state of Maine. - Great. Great. - Oh, my God. Are you really working all over the holiday? Isn't your family sore? What family? No, I'm joining yours. You didn't hear that? - It smells great in here. - Oh! Well, it's our pleasure having you. - Nice to be had. - Whoa! Cheer, cheers, the gang's all here! This is my other lovely girl Shannon. - This is my lovely boy Seth. - Andrew: Hey. - Nice to meet you. - And this is his special friend Megan. Come on, guys. Let the man wipe his boots off. Bruce Jespersen. Pleasure. - Nice to meet you. - Welcome. Shannon, will you give Andrew a tour of the place? But don't take him into my office. It's very, very messy. She just says that because she thinks messy means creative and spontaneous. - Linda: Oh, you're so hilarious. - Nice meeting you all. I'll see you after the tour. All right, Shannon... How could you not tell us? You know how overjoyed I am? - Well, happy Easter. - How long is he here? Ooh, ooh, can he come with us to the Bogars' maple syrup barn party? Ooh! And what about Matt Frost's band is playing, so all of Farmington will be there. Whoa, whoa, Mom. Just, you know, get all the joy that you want out of him tonight, because after his business is done, he'll be long gone. Oh, sweetheart. Oh, there, there. This is our wall of shame! - Yes. - Yes. My parents love to frame the best and worst thing we've ever done. - Huh. - Yeah, it's constantly challenging us. - Andrew: Yes. - Shannon: And up for revision. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hannah wrote a book? Mm-hmm. Seasonal motifs, poem stuff. It's a very long title. I can't really-- plus, she has two best prizes for some reason. Yes, like she never did anything wrong. - P-H-frigging-D. - Mm-hmm. From Brown. Couldn't get into Harvard. - Oh. - Ha! And Seth's room is upstairs. - It's sort of creepy. - Hmm. Seth: Great, Mom. It's awesome. Andrew: All right, look at this. Right over here, Andrew. This is you. Who needs more sauce? Everyone good for... Hello, Doctor. Bruce: Andrew, right here. This is you. - Linda: Yeah. - Mm. Let's all take our seats. Here we go. Smells delicious, Dad. - Let's join paws for a sec here. - Seth: Ah. Bruce: We are grateful today to Mother Nature and Mother Nurture for the abundant food on this table and the not entirely unattractive family around it. Amen. We remember those who are with us in spirit. Mm-hmm, and a special welcome to our new friend Andrew. - Thank you. - Well, let's dig in, everybody. - Enjoy your food. - All right. - Hannah: Great. Here we go! - Looks amazing. So, Andrew, what's the inside scoop on lakefront prices? You think Maine's going to explode like the Boston suburbs after the crash? - Is Maine going to explode? - Yeah. I'm such a sucker. I'm 29 and still renting. What do you think, Andrew? You think I should buy? Or is the market still softening? You know, actually, I think Andrew's specialty is in commercial real estate, right? Mm-hmm. And who wants to talk about work over Easter dinner? - Oh, I do. - I was just curious, man. Andrew: Me, yeah. I would love to. Talk about it anytime, you know? Breakfast, lunch, snack time, dinner. I mean, I'm a realtor, you know? It's my passion. How'd you catch the real estate bug, Andrew, huh? Your folks big landholders? Mmm. Sure. Mm-hmm. You ever heard of Wyoming? Okay. All right, all right, all right. - Linda: Kidder. - Hold your horses. But I care. I care. Yeah, she's curious. It's all right. No, actually, Mom, Andrew's research is for more personal reasons. He's an associate professor for American Studies at Hofstra University and he's here researching a paper about Hunter. And when I say paper, I mean more like a biography that I have hired him to write, with me, about Hunter. Oh, really? So there's nothing going on here, you mean? - No. - No, and he ha-- not that it matters. - He has a girlfriend... - Mm-hmm. Finley. ...and can we not talk about this while he's sitting right here? - Well, fuck-a-doodle-doo. - Ooh. And here I thought maybe the clouds were lifting. You know, Mom, it's not actually any of your business. So you're just eating my manicotti and happily lying to my face? Oh, jeez. Okay, I'm sorry. Can we start again with this, please? My real name is still Andrew McCabe. I'm just-- I'm just the help. I wasn't briefed on the classified nature of my employment. No, I am really hoping to interview each and every one of you if you're willing to contribute to what I believe will be a very beautiful book someday. That is, unless I just got fired. My food got cold. Meatball? Yes. Yes, sir. Thank you. - There's a spoon in the bowl. - You're absolutely right. - No, leave it on. - No. - You didn't have to do that. - Spoon's better way to go. Bruce: It's all right. - Need any help? - No. Well, I wanted to thank you for including me in such a delicious feast, Mrs. Jespersen. The manicotti was dry. Well, I gobbled it right up. You sure did. Hey, uh, so are you a fan of Hunter's music? So what is this? The interview portion of the program? Sorry, but I don't support the whole project. Gotcha. Back to Balderdash it is. Not a problem. No, see, it is. She will never break this endless cycle of keeping Hunter around. Well, you know, maybe this is her way of ending that chapter of her life. Oh! No, no, no. She does care a great deal about his legacy, you know. His legacy is 12 songs. Does the world care that much? You'd be surprised. Yeah, and what do you care about, huh? Is this your golden ticket to tenure at some school where there's ivy on the walls? A fan? He was my son. That's what he was to me. No, of course. I'm sorry. Well, what was he like? It's kind of hard to tell from just listening to the music. There was darkness in the man, but, oh, he was one of a kind. And she felt lucky to be considered his equal. Hannah's a pretty smart cookie herself. Yeah, you think so? I know so. But she can't think her way out of this one. Uh-unh. - Hannah: What is in here? - Oh, boy. - Okay. - Who knows? - This is heavy. - All right. Um, all right. That was... interesting. Hey, I got a question for you. No, that wasn't my real mother. Here. Your prize for lying to my folks, not that you were very good at it. Seriously, though, why do you want to write this book? 'Cause I had so much love left in my arsenal and I never got to spend it. Good night. - Hey, Hannah? - Uh-huh? Kind of dug your family. Andrew: Easy, Carl Lewis. What are you doing? Holy smokes. - Bruce: Watch the ice here. - What ice? I'm kidding, Bruce. These are jokes. I thought you invited me over for French toast. What's with the bag 0' peat? I thought as long as the boys are having their fun, we could be productive. Okay. You got to plant the seeds early, honey. Try thinking more about the future. Thank you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - There you go. - Come on. - Jesus, you're quick. Oh, boy. Of all the days I forget my pedometer, huh? If we want to reach the pond up top, we have to get through Fat Man's Misery, not unlike crawling up a chimney. You want the best lookout, we can hit the Lemon Squeeze while you make like a piece of bologna between slices of toast. Or we can stop here, eat some granola, and pay our respects. Wait, this is it? It's where they found him. Always figured probably on his way down - it was getting dark. - Yeah. He was out on that ridge above you there. - Yeah. - Good Lord. That is no joke. Got spooked by some animal jumped out on the trail. He just lost his footing. Bruce... we both know he didn't lose his footing, right? Wouldn't you say he was a pretty tortured guy? Real question for you here, Andrew. Who do you think you are? I've studied guys like him for years. You know, Hunter is pretty textbook. If you really, really listen to him... It's like it hasn't occurred to anyone, right? Yeah, it never occurred to us. So thank you, oh, wise one from the island of tall buildings, for teaching us native folk how it is. Now you just have to nurture them like they're your own children. Smooth segue to my ovaries. Listen, every year presents a milestone. Knocking out your baby teeth, graduating, heavy petting. Ew. When you're old, there are only two milestones left-- grandchildren and death, and you just pray that one comes before the other. I know. I know I'm impatient, but I've tasted all the juicy stuff except this one thing. You know, Ma, I used to think that I wanted children. Now I just want llamas. So many llamas. Just take one step. Yeah, do a date on the Internet and cut this hair. Jesus. Just take a break from this morbid writing project. Wow. Cue the salt in the wound. Hey, it's time to call up your old friends, lipstick and eyeliner. These are like raw eggplant. Okay. Three strikes, I'm out. You need a little perking up. No, I do not need anything. Just a little bit. Just a smidge. You're just going to leave me? Of course. Of course! No, it gets dark at 4:00 PM. Bed time. Who needs coffee? Like I said, the gatherers always get screwed. Howdy, Curt. You here to discuss the food chain a little bit more? - How's it go? - She's a real Maine girl, that Hannah. Aw, you're telling me. She likes a good man. A real man. A man that smells like pine resin, not Pierre Cardin. I've got no claim on her, Curtis. Hell, if you guys procreate, it might even out the gene pool, yeah? Really nice seeing you. Oh, my God. Are we going to do this bullshit? What are you going to do? Kick my ass? Not saying that you couldn't. You'd destroy me. There's not a soul in this town that wants to see her going with a flat-lander like you. You're going to crawl back into that exhaust hole you came from. All right, Curtis. Curtis Brown. We live in the slow lane, not a gravel ditch. Where are your manners? Andy... go screw yourself. Please and thank you. - Oh! - Aw, come on. - You all right? - Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine. Just helping everybody work through their issues. He didn't pee on you? No. Surprisingly, no. He did not pee on me. Mm-mm. No, I didn't even know that would be an option. No, he just threw down the gauntlet. Well, that's, uh-- that's kind of sweet. No, it is not sweet. No. Come on, what are you talking about? This isn't quaint or kooky small-town charm. You know? And I got to be honest with you. I am sick of the forest and all the crazy little creatures who live in it. You drag me up here to write this book-- Okay, Snow White. Nobody is holding you hostage. You leave in two days, right? You can leave tomorrow. Oh, my God. Can you just be a chick for, like, a second, and say, "There, there, poor thing," or some shit, please? Some shit. Thank you. Was that so hard? Now I don't know about you, but I would kill for an overpriced meal at a mediocre restaurant. - Shall we? - Dinner and a dump. Purely for journalistic reasons, I will choose dinner and a dump. - Excellent. - Got to see what this is all about. Let's do it. Ah, there we go. Hubba bubba. Look at that there. We have a gusher. I can't believe we go out to eat and you order the one thing on the menu that anyone could make with their eyes shut. You know, people who can't toast Eggos can boil a bug. What are you talking about? Someone had to cut this lemon wedge right here. They had to melt the butter. There's a lot of steps involved. - Mm-hmm. - Oh, man, oh, man. Look at that. Are you ever getting the eye from the woodchucks at the bar over there. Uh-huh. Hi! Me or her? You see, around here, everybody keeps tabs on everyone else, and everyone else is pretty sure I ought to be moving on. You never thought about moving to New York? Manhattan? - No. - No? Living in the big city? A change of scenery might help. No, it's not the kind of thing that you can take a vacation from. It's who I am now. I mean, you try to seem normal, right? But here's this thing that looms so large in your life you can't even see around it, you know? Can't dress yourself because it's blocking your closet. I guess you could technically say that I'm depressed. No. No, you are not depressed. That is not depression. That is just flat-out certified grief, you know? That's normal. That's natural. And it's not like you're waking up at noon or Skyping with your therapist during office hours like me and half my colleagues. What have you got to be so depressed about? - Are you serious? Me? - Yes. Tons of stuff. I do! I mean, little things, you know, like having a bunch of smart-ass students that don't have a single original thought in their head. That's depressing. Big things? My dad passing away way too early. That's tough, you know? I mean, the smallest thing can set me off with that. You know, like the fall of light through a window or a stack of old newspapers. - Mm-hmm. - It's true, though. But my old man took his life when I was a kid. You know, so... Now there, that's a guy you thought you knew, but... surprise. Do they do free refills on booze here, or how's that work? - That's terrible. - Mmm. Yes, it was terrible. Yeah. But it was a long time ago. And that's what serotonin reuptake inhibitors are for anyway, right? - You're medicated? - Not currently, no. But a couple more weeks up here and I may have to call my dealer-- er, I mean, doctor. - Oh. - What's going on, boss? Nothing. Just talking about stuff. Hannah, care to join me on the dance floor? - Of course. - Oh. - Great. - Yeah. Go scoot your boots. Five-- five songs? Five hours. Oh, five minutes? Okay. Got it. ...but I guess that's why they say Every rose has its thorn Just like every night Has its dawn Just like every cowboy Sings a sad, sad song Every rose has its thorn... Go back to my chateau For a late night snack, sip a little merlot Blackened salmon salad and croutons Conversate till dawn on a $50 futon Me and you until the sunrise I'm looking in your eyes, thinking of your thighs Hey, baby, do you think maybe That one day you can be my lady? Unh unh... I have spent my entire adult life in the city, okay? I've sat front row at the Garden. I've dined at some very hip spots. I've done seen some crazy shit, okay? But this is what Saturday night is all about. Mm-hmm. Andrew: Yeah. Hannah: Well, for some of us it is. Andrew: That's great. It's great. Isn't it weird, you spend your whole life trying not to die some way or other, and then when something really terrible happens, you just wish it were you and not them? Yeah, well, I'm glad it wasn't you. Right. There's no way that he would pay you 40 grand to write my biography. Pretty sure it was 50 grand. Don't look at me like that. Mmm. Mmm. Andrew: Wow. He's a lot closer now, isn't he? - Hannah: Just stay calm. - Should we go? - Hannah: Put it in reverse and leave. - Yeah, that's what I was think-- okay. Hannah: All right, you got the full rental insurance, right? Andrew: No, I'm not too worried about it. I'm sure those scratches will just buff right out. Are you done for the night? Uh, no. I mean, no, not if you're not. Okay. Come on. - Oh, we're getting out. - Mm-hmm. All right. What were you thinking? Tada. There's more. Come on. Where the hell are you taking me? You'll see. There may well be a raccoon in here, so brace yourself. Here, wait. Let me just get the lights. Whoa, whoa, whoa. - God, it's freezing. - This is amazing. - Let me put the heater on. - Yeah, yeah. Whoa. This-- I can't believe-- I mean, this is-- this is what I'm talking about. Yeah. This is the guy we all want to know. - Yeah. - Holy shit. Look at all this. I can't believe this. Oh, boy, oh, boy. This is incredible. Inn: Hey, Hannah. Thank you. Thank you for letting me in. I'll erase your brain later. - Agreed. Agreed. - Mm-hmm. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. - May I? - Sure. Go ahead. - Knock yourself out. - Yeah? Oh, boy. Oh. The-- yeah. Analog, of course. - Wait, wait. These aren't-- - Oh, God, no. Those babies are in a safety deposit box. That's just an empty blank canvas. Yeah. Oh, man. Yes. Now we're talking. Vinyl collection of the gods, you know? Great. Love it. Hmm. Yeah, well, you know, he had his muses. Don't we all? This is really good. It is. It's hilarious. Haven't seen one of these in a while. - What is that? - It's a four track. It's still plugged in and everything. Well, wait-- don't-- don't-- Only you and me and the trees shall know Baby, in the cold, cold snow I guess, Lord, I couldn't wait to go... - Oh, whoa. - I'm a pebble on in the pond... - Wait, wait. - What are you doing? No, I-- I don't, um... can you go back to the house? - What song is that? - I don't-- - What-- - I don't know. I don't know. - What do you mean, you don't know? - I don't know. Can you go back to the house, please? Yeah. Oh, son of a bitch. Hunter on tape: Okay. No running out of breath this time. Here we go. Way up Little Jackson There's a split in the stone Where I lose myself to time ls it all flesh and bone? Baby, in the cold, cold snow Only you and me and the trees shall know Baby, in the cold, cold snow I guess, Lord, I couldn't wait to go... What is it? ls it a whole album? Is it any good? I mean, there's a song. I don't know. There's, like, one song. At least one, or part of one, but she definitely knew nothing about it. - And you don't get to hear it? - I have no idea. She could be ripping it to shreds as we speak. This track may never see the light of day. All I know is there was a ghost in that room. Hello? Andrew. What's going on? Hi! Hey! Finley! - Is everything okay? - Yeah. I hopped on the 6:00 AM to Portland. Don't know what happened, but somehow the cab ended up being $248. ' - Stay, stay! Finley: I definitely only had money for tip. - Crazy expensive, Maine. - Right? Yeah. So good to see you. That's-- - Hannah". - Hmm? This is Finley, right here in the flesh. I'll go grab my wallet and get cash for you. How are you, Hannah? Oh, my gosh, I've heard so much about you. He adores you. And as a person in the music industry, I just want to say that we all grieved the sudden loss of your husband. Aw, you, too. I mean, thank you, I mean. And sorry to barge in on you like this. I just didn't know how good you were at keeping secrets. Hannah: Oh, terrible. You shouldn't tell me anything. Andrew: Here it is. Got it. - All right. - I'll leave you to, uh... Andrew: Right. Yeah. - She's cute. - Huh? Huh? Yeah. Oh, no. I guess so, yeah. I'll be right back. Bedroom's right up there. So good to see you. Not bad, huh? Can't you imagine a little cabin up here for a couple of weeks in the summer? Just reading and swimming and napping and-- Ooh. Easy, easy. Sorry, Papa Smurf's a little chilly. Well, why don't we warm him up? Because I've missed you. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Hold it. Where's she going? God, do you think she took it? Way up Little Jackson... There's a split in the stone Here I lose myself to time I surrender flesh and bone. Forgive me, baby. I should have told you. What can I say? You were always better at this than I ever was anyhow. - I love you, Hannah. - Holy shit. Andrew on voice mail: Hey, Hannah. It's Andrew. I'm not sure where you are or ended up, but Finley and I are going to head to that maple syrup barn party thing that your mom invited us to. And I hope you're doing all right, and I'll see you there, I guess. - Hey. - Hi. Hey, where's Hannah? She's been AWOL, like, all day. Oh, no, we didn't expect her to show. I mean, it's just, you know, it's their-- her wedding anniversary. That was today? Yeah. Rock a little go-go, dude. - Finn, honey. - Hi. - I'm going to roll, okay? - Oh, I missed you! - I want to climb you. - The saps run a little wild here. Bye, Bates! Bye, Bates! Bye-bye. Oh! Get in here! Whoa! Hey, Finley. Happy anniversary. What did you think of the song? Um, I don't-- what are you talking about? You forgot to rewind. It's all right. I don't blame you. What did you think of it? I thought it was beautiful. And incredibly sad. No, not sad. What do you think I should do with it? - You're asking me? - Mm-hmm. No idea. Well, if you love somebody, set them free, right? Right. Sting? I think that might have been the Dalai Lama first and then Sting played some incredibly obscure instrument behind it. Hannah... did he have any idea how lucky he was? - He was lucky. - Yeah. Until he was profoundly unlucky. I know how you feel. All that uncertainty of how and why you lost him. What? He doesn't deserve this, you know? He couldn't bear the weight, so he put it all on you. He traded you for some poetic notion of immortality. Mmm, no, Andrew, he-- Hannah, it's all-- I mean, those lyrics. I mean, "Lay me in the snow where I lose myself to time? Is there more than flesh and bone?" And then at the end he-- I mean, he just-- I mean, he tells you he's giving up. I'm so sorry. All this time and you've just been gathering evidence for some suicide theory. That's-- no. That's not true. Because, well, whose suicide are you trying to figure out? Oh. Oh, great. Oh, okay. Psychoanalysis, hmm? Oh, we're going to do a little-- okay. Because those lyrics, if we're honest about those lyrics, it seems to me-- Andrew, the song means nothing. - How can you say that? - Because I wrote it. What? It's a poem. It's my little jokey poem about making frostbitten love on top of Little Jackson. Hunter set it to music for a surprise or I don't know what. It-- "Lay me in the snow" doesn't mean "bury me." You're the one who's obsessed with death. My Hunter was obsessed with life. Go away. Go upstairs. Go to New York. Do you know where Hunter Miles is buried? Mm-hmm. Right here. Thanks. You ever heard his song "Sweet Spring"? Wow, right? What's your email? Uh... muffinator66@outlook. Muffinator. Why? I have a song for you. Share it around if-- if you like it. Oh! Man: The truth of the matter is I raked it in last year. Kids would much rather hitch a ride on a four-wheeler than take the bus. Coolness factor. I charge five bucks. Marginal profit each ride, but you get to buzz around Franklin County all day. Demand's high and chicks dig it. Feel free to print that. Well, thank you for the scoop, Mr. Woodcock. You know, Miss Miles, I don't just drive around high school girls, if you, ahem, catch my drift. All right, Ethan. Andrew on tape: Hannah, hear me out. I did my best to let go, but I had to write it anyway, a couple chapters at least, and I think we're onto something. Please forgive me for thinking brilliance comes with torture, but I'm not from your neck of the woods. Just read it, please? Right now, actually, because I'm waiting for you to walk through the door at Upton's bookstore. I'll be reading "Anna Karenina," and if she throws herself under a train and you haven't shown up yet, Ill-- Do you come with peace pipe or bearing musket? Hasn't anyone ever told you no before? Well, not as frequently or as emphatically as you have, no. You just dropped a grenade in my lap. What do you want me to say? I don't know what I want you to say. I just like it when you say things. You want to go look at some ice? Take a walk? Get out of here? Yeah. Are you kidding me? Ice? Frozen water? It's like my favorite thing in the whole world. Eight trillion hits on YouTube. That ain't bad, you know, for your first song. How pissed is your girlfriend? Um, I would not know. Hannah: God, I wish you could see this place in the summer. Yeah. Oh. You hear that sound? What is that? A pod of whales communicating? Lake whales, yes. I always thought God's belly after a burrito. I don't know. Sounded like a warning. Just winter crying uncle. I love living in a place where you earn your seasons, you know? Tough it out, see the ice return itself to mud, slimy reeds... become hopeful again. Hannah, do you feel that? I want to. Would you mind if I kissed you? You know, I swam all the way across this lake once. In the middle it feels like it'll never end. Yeah, but you made it. Yeah, there again and back. Please let me kiss you. No. Look at this. Yeah. Hi. Mmm. Mmm, you smell good. Hannah, you smell like dessert and Hawaii and a long winter's-- He'! ' Hey' he)!' hey, hey, You Okay? - What's wrong? - God. Hey, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay, all right? I get it. I'm telling you, he doesn't want you to be a puddle of tears the rest of your life, okay? I promise you that, okay? It's not-- it's not what he would want. Okay? You don't get to say that. Why not? 'Cause-- 'cause it's a conflict of interest. How is this supposed to work? Hmm? Hmm? I mean... I mean, I am competing with a saint. What? His recording studio is a shrine, you know? You've got a single album on your iPod. Hannah, there is grief and then there is worship. Yeah, please stop talking. - Mm, I totally fell for it. - Fell for what? I paid you everything I had left. Take the money. I don't care about the money. I put you up. Hell, I'm even putting out. And I'm rescuing you. Okay? I wrote that book so you wouldn't have to. It's just a bunch of words. It'll never be enough. I know! I know. Hunter was an amazing guy. He really was. But all I see is the girl that he wrote his best songs about, and I love the shit out of her. I mean, I love her. But she loves him. Hannah. Al. I'm so sorry. She really appreciated all those articles you wrote about her. We got emails about it for weeks after. Oh, Al. He'! ' I hope you got all your wishes. You're going to come back as one awesome kitty. Do me a favor. When you see him... say good-bye for me. Ethan! Ethan Woodcock! River Birch Road! - Nobody... - Andrew! ls going to tell me - That you don't love me, baby... - Andrew! No! no; "Q! They just don't know that you're an angel... Stop the car! Sent down from heaven... - What are you doing? - Stop the car! - Nobody... - Be careful! ls going to tell me that you don't love me, baby Whoa, oh, oh Time's going round in circles, baby But you know that talk is cheap... Thanks, Woodcock. So... Let me sleep In the slumber of the morning There's nowhere I need to be And my dreams still are calling Lay your troubles on the ground No need to worry about them now Daylight's shaking through the trees Do not disturb me Let me be And if you need a place to land Come down when you are weary No more clouds to put away In the slumber of the morning Keep me with you on the ground All of my worries behind me now Daylight's shaking through the trees Do not disturb me Let me be. I will always remember our hands On the table and I... I could not unlock from your stare And though I tried to untie From your anger, I can't I am no good at giving up And the ink, it is bleeding through pages Where I wrote down your name Carefully planned our escape I would pass you a key To pay off the judges to free you If that's what it takes to buy a way I am one cloud shy in your gray sky Do not go over my road Do not go over my road I was crippled and blurry The day I walked into your frame I'm so focused now on your name And my colors were fading From the days of exchanging my tune On trains that I took home to you When the signal broke I spoke to you on paper From the parking lot to your bed Where you are not now Do not go over my road Do not go over my road Soon my mood will fall Soon my mood will fall. |
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