1
Once upon a time in France,
there lived a bad boy
named Christopher Tracy.
Only one thing mattered
to Christopher. Money.
The women he knew
came in all sizes, shapes, and colors,
and they were all rich. Very rich.
Private concertos, kind words, and fun
is what he had to offer them.
Yes, Christopher lived for all women,
but he died for one.
Somewhere along the way,
he learned the true meaning of love.
- The more you drink, the better I sound.
- Psst!
Monsieur.
With the compliments of the lady in white.
When are y'all going to get a job?
Here. I got a job.
Why don't you all get a job?
It's dishonest work, but it's a living.
- Undecided?
- Oui.
- Un, un, un.
- Okay.
- What's up?
- Bonjour, Christopher.
Monsieur.
Mirror, mirror, 17-fold...
Who's the sexiest dressed in gold?
You must be talking about me, cousin.
Smile, Katy, you're naked.
I'll smile when you pay me
the two months' rent you owe me. Hmm?
Okay, you two, don't try anything funny.
Not this time, Christopher.
I want the money or I'll throw you both
out onto the street.
Please, madam,
look at these poor, innocent faces.
These mean streets are no place
for a couple of fine, decent...
Hoodlums like us.
Please, Katy, search in your heart
for some kindness.
Why don't you try searching
in your wallet for some money?
That's right, cousin.
Give her that Bela Lugosi look.
Throw me onto the street, hmm?
Yeah, there.
Perhaps madame would like to
conduct a search.
Hmm.
I wonder where that came from.
Fascist.
How much is lady in white worth?
$3 million.
Got it in her divorce settlement.
I'll settle for that.
We going to marry her?
Ain't it about time
we go for the big macaroni?
Mmm, I like her, but I'm looking
for a bigger brand of macaroni.
Take a look at this
and see if it whets your appetite.
Mary Sharon.
Her father owns half the ships
on the Mediterranean.
He's got to be worth a billion, easy.
He kicked a billion asses to get it, too.
And that says what?
That says she gets a $50 million
trust fund when she turns 21.
- Which is today.
- No.
- Let's go.
- You going to marry her?
Mmm. For $50 million
I would seriously consider it.
But guess what. I take 30% commission.
Yes?
Mary Sharon.
I wonder what tune she'd dance to.
Just one moment. I'll see.
- Mrs. Wellington.
- The lady in white.
Mrs. Wellington, he'll be right with you.
By the way, my name is Tricky.
Tricky, put the phone down.
I never dance before midnight.
But if you insist...
What? Right now?
I mean, here on the phone?
All right. As you wish. Hold on.
Uh-oh. Here we go.
I am nothing without your touch, my love
I am nothing without your kiss
To spend each night
in your arms, my flower
Is this man's idea of bliss
To not hear your voice each day
Is to die seven times by God's wrath
If I was anything other than human
I'd want to be the water in your bath
Till then, my love, ciao.
Who's your agent, man?
Can you believe Isaac Sharon threw
a party long-distance for his daughter?
And didn't even bother to come.
Quel scandale.
He's probably too busy
bribing another government official.
Johnny, you can be so catty sometimes.
And I wasn't even trying.
- Shall we follow the animals?
- Yes.
I need an old man with money.
Who needs money when you've got youth?
Muriel, where is your daughter?
Oh, she'll be down in a second, hopefully.
- Atta girl, Mary.
- Go, Mary, go.
How do you like my birthday suit?
I designed it myself.
Mary!
Madame.
Mrs. Cartwright.
Mary! Mary!
Hello.
How lovely to see you.
I'm so sorry.
All right. Let's get this party rocking!
- You were incredible! Great!
- Amazing!
Thank you.
I'll be back for an encore
just as soon as I've changed my costume.
See that guy who just came in?
Keep an eye on him.
What did she say?
She said...
Looks like it's diamond-hunting season
on the Riviera.
He's already checked out
every woman here twice.
- What about the other one?
- They're a couple of real pros.
Ah. We'll see about that.
What is she doing?
- Happy birthday, Mary.
- Thank you, Mrs. Wellington.
Happy birthday, Mary.
Mary, honey, there you are.
I thought you'd never show up.
I was waiting for the guards
to shoot all the party crashers
before I came down.
It's nice to see you. You look very good.
Thank you.
- What do they call you?
- Tricky.
- Fits you like a glove.
- Just like your wonderful dress.
Good evening.
Nice toss.
And nice party.
Yes. Pity you weren't invited.
- I was in the neighborhood, and, uh...
- And you got lost.
And I thought this would be fun.
Thanks for the present.
Awfully sweet of you.
Aw, tarot cards.
Want me to read your fortune?
I bet you'd like to do a lot more
than read it, buddy.
The name's Christopher, buddy.
I always thought
these things were baloney.
Just tell people what they want to hear
and they're happy.
Would you like to meet my mother?
Mommy, dear, Mrs. Wellington,
I'd like you to meet
my new friend, Christopher, um...
- Madam.
- Christopher.
He's dying to tell you
all about yourselves
with these beautiful tarot cards
you gave me, Mrs. Wellington.
Uh, do you do this professionally,
Christopher?
Madam, I do nothing professionally.
I only do things for fun.
Children, please.
Conga line, baby. Let's go.
Jonathan's on the phone for you.
He says it's totally boring in New York.
No new clubs, no openings, no parties.
He could've come to mine.
I don't want to talk to him.
- Oh, come on, Mary.
- Don't be a dork.
Think about your trust fund.
Come on, darling.
Hello, Jonathan.
That was wonderful, darling.
Billy Eckstine he ain't, baby.
Don't call me baby.
And get out of my house, you creep.
Mary, honey, I didn't call you baby.
And I'm in New York.
And for God's sake, I sincerely hope
you don't think I'm a creep.
I was talking to myself, Jonathan.
That's what insane people do, dear.
You shouldn't spend so much time
by yourself.
Tell Jonathan I said hello.
If you don't get out of my house,
I'll have my father's guards throw you out.
Why, 'cause you ain't bad enough
to do it yourself?
- Will you leave me alone!
- No, I will not.
Listen to me.
I'm coming to France in a few days.
Your father has graciously given me
a week off.
Oh. That's lovely, Jonathan.
I'm sure you and Daddy
will have lots of business to talk about.
I bet he's your boyfriend.
It may seem strange to a hustler like you
but I happen to go out
with people my own age. Special people.
And they don't wear wedding rings either.
Then they must be wearing diapers!
Here's your future, framed in gold.
Pits!
- How are you doing?
- Cool. How you doing?
Man, forget it.
This girl ain't got no home training.
Remove this peasant from my party.
Take his friend, too.
I'm having trouble breathing.
Maybe if you took off your chastity belt
you could breathe a little more better.
How dare you?
When my ship comes in,
I'll never treat people like that.
You couldn't afford a ship.
- How much money you make?
- 3,000 francs a week.
Damn! Couldn't you buy some cologne?
Punk! Come on back here! One, two, three!
Punk, punk, punk!
Come on back here and fight!
Come on. Uh-huh. Get some of this.
Come on back and fight.
You scared to come back. I'll put this
cute little shoe in your ugly...
- Tricky.
- What do you want?
Come here.
Can you get home all right?
- Hi, Brisby, remember me?
- Good evening, sir.
You know who you've dialed.
She's not home.
Do you want to leave a message?
Hello, beautiful, this is Isaac.
I'll be home in the morning.
I called you five times last night.
Now, where were you?
With me.
I hate this damn machine.
Me, too.
You're not there, are you? Hmm?
You aren't seeing another man,
by any chance?
Yes.
Because if you are, I'll kill him.
You know I love you, darling.
See you. Bye.
Goodbye.
He's a little possessive, don't you think?
He likes to collect things,
including people.
You must be his prized possession.
Oh, I'm like you, Christopher. Hmm?
- I like to have fun.
- Fun.
- Now, there's a wonderful word.
- Hmm.
Maybe if you took off your jockstrap
you would be able to breathe easier, hmm?
I should have said that.
I should have said,
"Chastity belt?
Oh, you're sadly mistaken, sir.
"I wear a cestus.
Perhaps you've heard of it?
"It's an embroidered girdle
originally worn by Venus,
"and it inspires love.
"Perhaps you've heard of love.
I doubt it."
He's just a peasant.
He doesn't even know who Venus is.
Hello, kitten.
How is the prettiest girl
on the Cte d'Azur?
Terrific.
- I'm sorry I missed your party last night.
- But you had to see to the ship.
I said I'm sorry, darling.
Somebody has to go out
and earn the pennies.
It's forgiven.
- Would you like to tell me about it?
- Can't it wait till later?
- You will be home for dinner, won't you?
- Unfortunately, not tonight.
I have an appointment at 7:00,
but I'm sure your mother
will tell me everything.
Right.
Won't you let the dog loose.
She seems awfully hungry.
- Tricky, no.
- Oh, thank you. Bye-bye.
Good evening, Chris.
Oh, yeah.
Good evening, ladies.
Tricky's the name, and love is my game.
You ain't got no money,
I love you just the same.
You know, I could breathe a lot easier
if the air weren't so utterly polluted
by your presence.
Oh.
You've been rehearsing that line
all night, haven't you?
I have a message for you
from Mrs. Wellington.
She wants you to come to her house
tonight at 7:00.
- Want to dance?
- I never dance with my clothes on.
I noticed.
Mary!
Mary.
The name drips from one's lips.
You look wonderful tonight,
and I'd be very honored
if you'd dance with me.
At least someone around here
has some manners.
Mary, tell me,
is it really true you're engaged?
Yes.
Tsk, tsk, what a pity.
Sometimes life can be so shitty.
- Here's a girl, she's smart and pretty.
- And rich.
I don't care about that!
Honey, I really don't.
I want a girl who can teach me things,
hip me to the finer side of life.
Who's not stupid.
Man, I hate stupid girls.
Marry a stupid girl, you have stupid kids.
You don't believe me?
Follow a stupid kid home,
see if someone stupid
don't answer the door.
Mmm-hmm.
I like them nice, too.
- You know, that certain special way.
- Special? What do you mean?
Yeah, special.
You know, Mary, that's what you are.
Have you ever been to Le Pavillon?
Oh, yes, honey. Chris and I, we...
No.
Tomorrow night at 8:00.
We'll see how you adapt
to the finer side of life.
We'll be there.
May I?
Why did Mrs. Wellington
give you that message?
She's my friend.
She told me all about you.
- Oh, yeah? What did she say?
- Guess.
She said I'm an angel, and her heart flies
when she's in my arms.
Well, it must be easy to float
with a head as swelled as yours.
Big as a balloon,
so I can touch the clouds.
So can I. My father has a Learjet.
Hmm.
It's no fun to depend
on other people for rides.
Especially not when you're used to
taking them for rides the way you do.
- What do you want from me, Mary?
- To know what you want from me.
I want to take you on a trip to the moon.
- Who's paying?
- It's free.
But I guess you wouldn't know
anything about that.
- Punk!
- Brat.
- Gigolo!
- Cabbage head!
What?
What's the matter, late for work?
Yeah.
You're blowing it.
Tricky, come and dance with me.
Oh, no.
Nobody like your body, baby.
Oh.
We'll be landing on the moon
in three minutes.
Mary, Mary, Mary.
I guess you don't like
your daddy fooling around
with Mrs. Wellington, do you?
Christopher ain't going to
fall into that trap.
No. Too cool for that.
Yo, Isaac!
Stroke it a couple times for me, cousin!
Make sure you put a pillow up her ass.
She like that.
Who the hell was that?
I don't suppose you happen to know
the owner of that charming voice,
would you?
Hmm?
Man, that was dog.
She set you up to bust in
on her old man's private business?
She don't know that what's good enough
for Isaac Sharon is even better for me.
- She's bad, cousin.
- Yeah, but she ain't got no street.
You know, I wish there was some way
we could bring her down to our world.
Then she could experience the real fun.
Tell you what. Give me a dark room
and a Sam Cooke album,
and I'll show her the real fun.
No, man. That's not what she's about.
She's above that.
She just needs to loosen up.
Mary already knows who she is.
She just doesn't know what she wants.
Father, be a dear and call Emile
and tell him I may possibly want to
take the boat out tonight.
Now slow down a minute, Mary.
That's a big responsibility.
You've never taken the boat out
by yourself before.
Yes, well, it's about time I started
to do one or two things by myself.
Don't you think?
No, Tricky. I don't think so.
She is definitely a virgin.
You know, I think she's afraid of men.
She ain't afraid of Tricky.
Honey, I'm just afraid of you
going out unprotected.
- Good heavens! What am I going to do?
- You're free to do whatever you wish.
- Am I?
- Yes.
You know the terms
for your getting the trust.
You've changed the terms
over the past three years!
All I've tried to do is please you.
Yes, so you could get your money
and get out of here.
- I just want my own life.
- You don't know what you want.
Mary, the trust is yours
the moment you and Jonathan are wed.
Now, life cannot be simpler
than that, can it?
She just doesn't know what she wants.
She wants
some of Tricky Dean's pork sausage.
Please. I can see it now.
You and Mary Sharon.
"Mother, dear, I'd like you to meet
me new husband."
When the police come to take your ass
down to the joint, this is me.
"Oh, no. I don't know him.
"He said what, Officer? My brother?
"Oh, no. We definitely have
different fathers. Check it out.
"Butterscotch. Chocolate. No way."
Honey, don't you know
I'll slap the waves out of your head!
Man, I've never seen nobody chase girls
the way you do.
I'll stop chasing girls
when you stop chasing Trickies.
Mary doesn't like you, she likes me.
And tonight,
she's going to dance to my tune.
Tricky.
You've just given me a brilliant idea.
What?
We are going to bring Mary Sharon
down to our world.
Come on.
- Bonsoir.
- Good evening.
- Ah, so you do have normal clothing.
- I hate these clothes.
I think it's a vast improvement.
Where's Tricky?
He ran back to the car
to fetch his manners. Shall we?
To knowledge.
Knowledge?
What do you know from knowledge?
- You ever been to Miami, baby?
- I have.
Garon! You forgot one.
There's nothing in Miami
but people who weren't born there
and drugs.
They know more than you'll ever learn
in your little, small, sheltered world.
- Yeah!
- Really, now? What, only God knows.
Garon!
Yes, sir?
That's French.
It's obvious little Miss Mary
has never been off the city block.
What on Earth is that? Some new language?
Read it.
You know what it is?
It's nothing, and you know it
but you won't confess it
because you're such a coward.
It is something. Something you don't know.
You won't confess that
because you're a coward.
This is silly, and you're a child.
I go to dinner
without my father's permission.
So that says what?
Now read it aloud so we can all hear
how knowledgeable you are.
"Wrecka stow."
You know what it is? You don't, do you?
Wrecka stow? It's nothing.
It is something.
Come on. Read it again.
This time say it louder.
- Wrecka stow.
- Louder.
Wrecka stow! I give up.
- What is it?
- Wait, wait.
If you wanted to buy a Sam Cooke album,
where would you go?
The record store.
Very amusing. Shall I laugh now
or wait until I get into the car?
You know that was fun.
Oh, look!
- Tricky, my boy.
- Our world.
Oh, grow up!
Tricky, put the box up.
This music is a little weak. Do you mind?
Hello, Daddy.
This is Christopher. This is Tricky.
This is my father.
And his two right hands.
Or are they left hands?
I can never remember.
Don't be angry, Daddy.
I just wanted to do something special
for a change.
Mary.
Let's go home.
Boo!
Party poop!
I want you to find out
who those two bums are
and what they're doing
with my daughter. Compris?
Okay, Mr. Sharon.
Oh, Isaac was kind of clean tonight,
wasn't he?
He was pretty dap.
- You know, Tricky, one day I'm going to...
- Chris.
- What?
- You know...
I kind of like Mary.
Oh.
Listen, do me a favor.
Why don't you handle the money
and leave the drawers to me?
Hmm?
What it is?
It's Mary.
I was wondering what you were doing.
Mary.
Thinking.
About what?
Sex.
Christopher...
If you were here, I'd...
- Can I tell you something?
- No, don't. You'll ruin it.
You've done some dumb-ass things before,
but this, my friend, takes the cake.
Shh!
There.
Now remember, if anybody comes,
you whistle four times.
Dumb-ass, you don't even know
if it's the right window.
Pizza man.
Dumb-ass!
Did you order a pizza, ma'am?
Talk of pleasant surprises.
That's what it is.
Just relax and let me do all the work.
Oh, you may have to. I take a couple
of Seconals to get to sleep.
Got me out here in the middle of the night
watching a window.
"Handle the money
and leave the drawers to me."
Shit!
Oh, darling. It's been so long.
Won't be much longer now, baby.
What was that?
I think it was my zipper.
Baby, wait! I ain't into all that.
Psst! It's the mom.
What did you say, darling?
I said, uh, it's the wine.
Hang on, love. I have to use the bathroom.
Hurry, honey.
I can't wait any longer.
Dumb-ass!
What did you expect me to do?
Go in a room full of lights on?
You did it to Mary's mom.
Get the ladder! Shut up!
- You did it to Mary's mom.
- Fuck it!
- Hello, darling.
- Oh, Isaac.
I can no longer be passive.
Take me now! Darling!
Who it is?
What is this?
Soul. What's this?
My dad felt guilty
about missing my birthday party
and gave me a belated present.
I don't know what to do with it.
So I thought a couple of pros like you
might have a good idea.
Tricky, Mary don't know
what to do with that.
Hmm. That's a hard one.
Oh! I know! Why don't we spend it?
Dig it. I need this car.
All right? 200 francs.
400,000 francs.
700,000 francs. What it is?
What it is?
Mary, hop into your new car.
This is as far as I want to go.
For now, anyway.
Meet me at the hippodrome
an hour after the sun goes down.
Tricky, today is a wonderful day.
How'd you dig it if I told you
I was leaving the business?
That's right.
Christopher Tracy, an honest man.
Seriously. I've been thinking
that if you really love someone
it would go deeper than the flesh,
but be happier than sex.
Really, Tricky,
there's got to be something else.
If two people really dug one another, they
couldn't be torn apart no matter what.
For example, do you love me?
Come on, Tricky, you know
what I'm talking about.
Girl, I loved you for years.
- Tricky. Seriously. Do you?
- What? Yeah, I guess.
- Yes?
- Yeah!
That's my point, if two souls are one,
I mean, if that's the ultimate,
then the flesh is nothing.
We live in a parade.
- Dig?
- Yes, I dig.
I'll be the one digging your grave.
Listen, I like Mary as much as you do,
probably more, but this is business.
- Tricky, try to understand.
- No, you understand.
If we don't get some bread
and get back to Miami soon,
Isaac Sharon's gonna mess one of us up.
And, honey, it ain't gonna be me.
- What's the matter? Afraid to die?
- Yes.
Well, I ain't afraid of shit.
Are you afraid of bats?
What should I wear to the joint tonight?
My Versace or my Bonucci?
I don't know, man.
I think I like that blue.
What time we pick Mary up?
- Uh, I got something I got to do first.
- What you got to do?
Something.
Damn, I got to keep my eye on you.
Your name should be Tricky.
Tricky Christopher.
Meet you at the club in two hours.
- Two hours?
- Two hours.
All right, Chris.
Do you want to race?
On your mark.
Uh, baby, they saw you coming!
That car is worthless!
- Marvelous night, isn't it?
- Yeah. If you like getting dogged.
Oh, my dear.
If you have nothing nice to say
about anybody,
please come and sit with us.
Quel scandale!
What's so funny?
- You can't spell.
- What?
"Liffy is a poem."
"Life is a parade." Give me this.
I must have that disease.
What's the name of it?
It's called "stupid."
You're a bit of a maniac, aren't you?
Yeah, you're one of them closet maniacs.
You needed somebody like me
to bring it out of you.
Oh, give me a break.
Why is your dad such a punk?
- I beg your pardon?
- Why does he shit on so many people?
- You're a peasant.
- What makes me a peasant?
How much money I got,
or what's in my heart?
You know, I wish your dear father
could see us when we kiss.
It's a little bit different than it is
with your rich boyfriend, ain't it?
As a matter of fact,
it's not so hot, you bit me once.
Given the chance,
I'd knock the bottom out of them drawers.
And your hair's greasy.
Do you use cooking oil?
"Christopher, this is so nice.
I've never done it in a piano before."
- Oh, you're obnoxious!
- You probably real quiet at first.
"Oh, oh." Then you get loud.
And then you get black.
"Oh, shit! Christopher, oh, shit!
Oh, baby! Oh, no!"
Aw, did I hurt little Mary's feelings?
You ain't funky at all.
You're just a little old prude.
A little rich party poop.
Shut up!
Jesus Christ. Shut up?
I'm calling your daddy this instant.
Be quiet, maybe, yes. Pipe down.
But not "shut up." Oh, no.
Yo, you got a dime?
Shut up!
I like that. Not bad.
Hello?
Yes, this is Lou.
May I speak to Mr. Sharon, please?
Oh. Is it important?
Yes.
- He's sleeping.
- Please.
All right.
- What?
- It's for you.
Ugh.
- Yeah, Lou. What is it?
- Isaac, get your ass out of that bed.
You know them's my drawers.
Who the hell is this?
The delivery boy from the liquor store.
I brought you champagne the other day.
Tell me where you are,
and I'll come and kick your face off!
Did you say kiss my face off?
Well, I'd like that real well,
because that's just what I did
to your daughter.
I'm going to marry her, Isaac.
She loves me.
She doesn't know it yet.
But when she does, she'll be mine.
It doesn't matter what you do to us.
She'll always belong to me.
If you try to stop us,
I'll give this number to your wife.
She knows what I'd do to you!
Ugly bastard!
There's one way to find out.
Just mess with me.
You rich folks always take
from people like me.
That says what? That says
now I'll take something from you.
He can destroy you. You have no idea.
The chief inspector is on his payroll.
- Does he love you?
- Yes.
Then I can destroy him.
You want?
Yes.
No. When I want it.
You rich girls want everything.
No.
I want more.
Thank you.
Mary!
Mary.
Your mother and I would like to see you.
Oh, hello, darling.
We were just talking about you.
Where have you been?
- You were out all night.
- Was I?
I don't remember.
- Who were you with?
- Friends.
Who? What friends?
I want an explanation.
Do I have to give you a written report,
or can I just phone it in?
Mary!
You were with that boy.
He's not a boy, he's a man.
He's not a man, he's a gigolo.
You know what that is?
That is a fancy word for a whore.
There are a lot of words
for "whore," Daddy,
and I'm sure you're well acquainted
with all of them.
It's time that you understand
the importance of your marriage
and what it could do to this family
and your future.
Do you have any idea
of how much the Donahues are worth?
Why, with our combined fortunes...
Mary, you have no right!
Now, that's nerve.
"I'll meet you at the club in two hours."
- I got waylaid.
- No.
You got laid.
You dogged me. You lied to me!
You broke the rules of our partnership.
You're jive, and you got laid.
Tricky, you know, I think you're cute,
but you're not my wife.
Why, you selfish son of a biscuit-eater.
I thought we were partners!
Not this time.
I'll tell you why, too.
'Cause you know if I drop the bomb
on Mary, she'll fall in love with me.
You're drunk.
Yeah, Christopher, I'm drunk.
But, hey, guess what?
You're stupid!
I told you never to mix emotion
with business. Deadly combination.
Have you seen my phone book?
- I bet you she don't even like you.
- I know she likes me.
Yeah? Well, I got news for you.
Women don't like you. They use you.
When they've used you up, they're gone.
You just said the wrong thing, Tricky.
Punk!
Mary sure ain't gonna be
playing with you no more.
Not when Tricky done with her!
That's right! That's my drawers now!
- She'll be throwing rocks at you.
- Tricky!
What's up, Christopher?
Let's run away.
For a couple of hours.
Why not forever?
Christopher, I'm afraid.
Afraid of what?
Tricky and I come here all the time.
Afraid of us.
- My father is very...
- Your father.
You know as well as I do he ain't no good.
Why can't you admit it? Come on, say it.
Christopher, do you love me?
Define love.
- Yes?
- Sam?
Isaac?
That's right.
Listen, uh...
I have a little problem
I want you to help me with.
Look.
Why don't you go home and sleep it off.
You and Christopher
will be best friends again in the morning.
Never! He dogged me, lied to me, he...
Mary was my girl as much as his!
Kiss me.
You don't really love Jonathan, do you?
If I tell you, will you tell me something
about the women you go out with?
- Yes.
- No.
Now you talk.
Kiss me first.
Say, now!
Don't you two make a sexy couple?
When's the wedding?
I said, when's the wedding, man?
You still gonna marry her, aren't you?
That's what you said.
You said for $50 million,
you'd seriously consider it.
- Mary...
- But guess what. I want my cut!
You promised me 30%! I want it.
Mary, we got a little business deal.
Don't take it personally.
It's not true, Mary.
Do you lie?
Mary!
Damn it, Tricky!
You dumb shit! What did you do that for?
Because it's a full moon.
I'm a werewolf, bitch.
Kiss my ass!
You dogged me, Chris!
- Shut up, stupid!
- No, you shut up!
You're going to end up
with no friends at all.
I don't need friends. I'm my own man.
Just like Liberace.
Christopher.
When can we get together again?
You know I miss you.
Christopher, you know I miss you.
Mary! My God, where have you been?
We've been worried sick about you.
Pack your bags, Mother.
We're flying to New York tonight.
- Whatever for? Jonathan's...
- Mother!
For 21 years now, I've listened
to you and Father tell me what to do.
You've painted a picture
of a perfect world
and you've framed it
with hypocrisy, stubbornness, and lies.
And you've hung it
on a trust fund I can't get
until I marry a man I don't even love.
Doesn't it matter to you and Daddy
what I want?
- Of course it does, dear, but...
- Mother.
Look at me.
I am your painting.
I hurt real bad.
Mary.
Don't you think I hurt, too?
We all hurt a little.
Hello, Christopher.
Isaac asked me to give you this.
It's yours...
Under one condition.
Stay away from Mary for good.
Give this to Isaac from me.
"Fa you?"
Tell him it's Chinese.
Christopher, wait.
She's leaving for New York
on the family plane.
What time?
Midnight.
Good luck, Christopher.
Mary, don't go!
What do you want?
To talk to you.
I don't want to hear it, Christopher.
I've heard enough.
Just give me
five minutes of your time, please!
Let him go.
Mary, what's going on?
I said, let him go!
You promise? Only five minutes.
- Mary, please!
- Don't worry.
Oh, God!
You have exactly four and a half minutes.
Mary, don't you see?
I need a lifetime.
I'm not giving it to you.
On, yes, you are.
I thought you wanted to talk.
Maybe I just wanted to look at you.
Why don't I give you a photograph?
I want more.
Isaac.
Isaac, this is terrible.
I tried to stop her.
I had no idea that she was...
- Let me handle this. Who's in charge?
- I am.
How the hell did you let this happen?
Your daughter willingly agreed to go, sir.
She was abducted!
My wife saw her
being driven away against her will!
What more do you want?
Why are you doing this?
- What do you want?
- I want to kiss you.
Christopher, I don't know you anymore.
You've been using me all this time.
You whore.
Oh, my God, he's gone mad.
Christopher, if this is
your idea of a joke...
Take me back to the airport.
Now.
What's the matter with you? Say something!
I hate you.
I love you.
You don't love me.
Okay, then I hate you.
No, you don't.
Then I love you.
Define love.
Let me take you away from here...
Forever.
Look, Chris, I'm sorry.
My tongue started dancing,
and I didn't know how to stop it.
We can't let this silly dame come
between us. Let's kiss and make up.
If you don't tell us
where your partner is,
you can kiss your ass goodbye.
Goodbye.
Start talking, punk. Where is he?
In his skin, the last time I checked.
Oh, no! My new tie!
New tie, huh?
See these cuff links? $500.
Come here, look.
The shoes: $1,000. Finest money can buy.
Only confused men wear loafers.
You aren't confused, are you?
Yes. Yes.
That's the car.
I want the coast guard
to scour every inch of the coast for them.
They must have gone off in a motorboat.
I know it's a big ocean! So what?
I shall be there in half an hour.
Lou, the police have found the car.
Eddy, his car's at Villefranche harbor.
Yeah, we're gonna...
No, he's out cold.
Yeah, we'll be ready in a minute.
Yeah, Mr. Sharon, we know what to do.
I want to be an honest man
I'll be your slave, just understand
How much I need you
And if I lie
I'm part of you
This is my crime
I do know laughter
I do know tears
But all is nothing without you near
We are of one soul
And if I died
We'll be together side by side
With you, I know that I can stand
With you, I can be an honest man
- Yo, Chris!
- What's going on?
You ever had your ass kicked
for breakfast?
No, but it looks like you just did.
If you don't get out of here quick,
you will be next.
- Where's Mary?
- At the grotto. Why?
That's why.
Come on.
Still mad at me?
Put it this way. If we ever make it
to that wedding, I'll be your best man.
Hold them off. I'm going to get Mary.
Katy, run!
Strike! Put it on him!
It's my turn now. Oh, man!
That's right, cousin!
My turn.
Bonsoir!
Katy, we got to hurry!
Tricky, wait for me!
Christopher, run!
Get him! I don't care
what you do with him. Just get him!
I'm not going without you.
There's no time to wait! Go!
Shoot him!
Mary.
Christopher.
Damn, Chris.
Oh, God!
Dear God...
Don't take Christopher yet.
He ain't ready, Lord.
He's just a baby.
We had fun, didn't we?
Not him!
Not now!
Christopher, damn!
I told you we shouldn't have came here.
Mary.
There's nothing more can be done.
Mary...
Let's go home.
I'm not going home.
I'm going with Christopher.
And don't try and stop me now.
If two people really loved one another,
they'd be together forever.
They couldn't be torn apart
no matter what happened.
Tricky, look.
It's from Mary.
"My darling Tricky, being alone is hard
but I'm dealing with it.
"Although many have asked, I just can't
picture myself with anyone else.
"I guess Christopher was right, after all.
"What a world, eh?"
I shall come in a few months to see
how our investment turned out.
How do you like being the landlord
of your very own apartment complex?
Fine.
Give Katy a hug for me.
I miss you, Tricky.
Love, Mary.
Wasn't that nice?
You heard what Mary said, Tricky.
Give me a hug.
Oh, no, you don't. Not this time.
I want the rent money paid in full,
or I'm throwing you out
into the Miami streets.
- Oh, Tricky!
- Think I won't?
Tricky, wait!
No. I don't want to hear it.
I refuse to hear any excuses.
No, no. I told you. Rent in full.
You're 22 hours late
with your rent, and I need my money!