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Veronika Decides To Die (2009)
Well, let's see.
After you decide that I'm depressed or whatever, you'll throw me a med, right? And I know, hundreds of people who swallow them, they're all doing just fine, really. I go back to work and take my new antidepressants. Have dinner with my parents, persuade them that I'm back to being normal... and it never gives me in any trouble. Then one day, some man ask me to marry him. He'd be nice enough and that'll make my parents very happy. The first year we make love all the time. Then the second and third less and less. But, just as we're getting sick of each other, I'll be pregnant. Taking care of kids, working on the jobs, paying mortgages... that'll keep us on even keel for a while. And then, ten years into it, he'll have an affair... because I'm... too busy and I'm too tired. And when I find out... I'd like to kill him... his mistress... myself. We'll get passed it. In a few years, he gonna have another one. And this time, I just pretend that I don't know, because... somehow giving in to fast just doesn't seem worth the trouble this time. And you know, I'm happy at least a few days. Sometimes, wishing my kids could have the life that I never had. Other times... secretly pleased their trying to be duplicates of me. I'm fine... really. Green is not the new black. Hasn't anyone else noticed that everyone has gone completly insane? Why is everyone so afraid to look at things as they really are? Slogans like these have succeeded in distracting... all the things that really matter. There's no other escape. I want people to know I believe in killing myself rather then to join... this collective madness in the world we all live in. This is not the real world. Goodbye, Veronika Deklave. Call 911! Audrey, call 911! The syringe is going in. - Pressure is 100 over 60. - I need for you to back up. Pressure is down to 80 over 40. Bring her inside. Move her into intensive care. Could you please send in my 9:15. Edward! Come on now, Edward. I wanted to let you know that your fathers annual visit is scheduled for next week. He will ask then if you've made any progress. Have you made any progress, Edward? You know Villette, works for the great majority of people who come here. The last few times your father visited, I suggested to bring you home... but... well... I'm certain he believes you being here, is for the best. What'd you think of that, Edward? Nurse! Relax. We're gonna take good care of you. Take it easy. Here we are. Veronika? You were in coma and in intensive care, for 2 weeks... before being well enough to be with us here. Where am I? Villette. Villette? A privately funded psychiatric facility on the Hudson River. Our director, Dr. Blake has taken special interest in your case. You're psychiatrists! Why am I here? Who brought me here? Your parents approved it. Veronika, can I ask you a few questions? Your date of birth? December 24, 2000... Um... Your address? Your place of emmployment? Freeman and Stanley. Your position? Assistant Account Executive. Seventy-five thousand a year... plus additional health benefits included. The color of your mothers' hair? I don't remember. The color of my hair? Blond. Are you sure? "Deklava" is Slovenian? Your parents are from... My parents left before I was born. We get along just fine, if that's what you're wondering. Look, how long do I have to stay here? Unfortunately... we have some difficult news... in that regard. Somebody wanna tell me what's going on? That's yours. Oh... We're ready to begin, when you took the overdose, your heart stopped. And the infarct of a heart attack, which caused a ventricular aneurysm. In layman's terms, you've damaged the mechanism... that pumps blood into the heart, which has caused irreversible damage to it. Your heart attack produced a scar, which in time became an aneurysm. I'm afraid the aneurysm is so large, it's... inoperable. It will get bigger and bigger every day, until it finally ruptures. So, I'm gonna die after all? I'm afraid so. Well, how long do I have? A year... years? Exact estimates are impossible. Not years. Okay. So, six months? Five months, four months? It could be any time, um... It may only be a matter of weeks... at most. I have to wait that long? Well... If I succeeded, why don't you just kill me now? It might be too much for you to take in. Yes. I think we've said enough for now. We think this is the best place for you. We'll be giving you regular shots in your heart, which may make you feel that you're tired. But we'll do everything we can to make your last days here as... pleasant as possible. Do my parents know? No. Not yet. Will you tell 'em? I think we said enough for now. Natasha, would you... please? Yes, doctor. Eight hundred sixty. Eight hundred and sixty. Eight hundred sixty-two. Eight hundred sixty-three. Eight hundred sixty-four. Eight hundred sixty-five. There you are! Better? I'm your new roommate, Claire. This place isn't so bad, you know. They have really good drugs. I'm leaving any day now. But not before I have more round of my coma treatment. You're really pretty. I'm gonna tell you a trick of this place. It's a story. Once, upon a time... there was a powerful wizard who wanted to destroy a whole kingdom. And to do this... he poured a magic potion into the well from which all the citizens drank. Everyone who tasted it would go mad. And the King... when he saw his people so changed... he was terrified. He was preparing to leave the city... but the Queen stopped him, saying: "Let us drink from the well, we'll be the same as they are". And so, they drank from the communal well of madness... and they were immediately as insane as their subjects. And so, the King was allowed to continue ruling in peace... the rest of his days. So... learn to think like those around you think... and you can pass yourself of with anything. You think outsiders are any less crazy then we are? I'm not crazy. Are you really gonna die? Who told you that? Oh, you know, you talk... talk... talk... Blah... blah... talk... talk. I don't wanna wait. Do you know how to get my hands on something? Really? Come have a smoke with me. No thanks. Oh, come on... get dressed. You don't want them to think you're crazy. Do you wanna go outside with me, Ed? Ask Mari, she'll tell you how you can get pills. She's been here longest out of all the patients. Her clique has the best in here. They don't take their medications, unless they feel like it. She was a lawyer on the outside, and she was married to one too. But when she lost her job, she had a break-down and she ended up here. Her marriage is over too. And she's really close to Dr. Blake. You think she'll help me? I don't know. If she doesn't wanna talk to you, she wont. What about him? Ed. I know... He's gorgeous... but you can't actually talk to him. Mari has a way with him, no one else does. He was dumped here a few years ago. Years? That's what happened. He was in an accident, and against the time he was ever since... he stopped talking. His girlfriend was in the car with him, she died instantly. He thinks he killed her. What do they say is wrong with him? Oh God, it changes all the time. Catatony, Schizo, all these names. It's no use getting interested in him, he doesn't care about anybody. I'm not interested in anyone right now. Not even me? I'm freezing. Hey! Hey, do you know what astral travel is? I use it in my coma treatment. I have the Moon was still not achieved, but I do. !I have my last treatments the next few days. You can take all you want. How are you? Your parents are waiting outside. No! I can't see them! I won't see them! But they want to see you. They've come all this way. Did you tell 'em? No. No, you told me not to. I thought, I leave it up to you. How can I tell 'em? I think you should see them. Someone please send in, Mr. and Mrs. Deklava. Veronika always had good grades and... made friends with nice people. Always had good paying jobs. Never had a speck of trouble with her. Never. She... You always made us... very proud. Doctor, help to make her get better, I mean... back to normal. He's a good doctor. Well... you see, first of all... your daughter tried to kill herself, now that's nothing for you to be ashamed of. In our society, we feel we must be happy, if we're not happy... we feel hopeless, we feel like... failures. The plan... is to talk with Veronika, mainly. Talk? We have to go back... Why would you listen? Dad, how much you think they are charging you for this place? Oh, it's nothing. Forget it. The most important thing is your health now. Of course it would be better if you stayed home with us... - and rest with us, but... - Sometimes, being away from everyone, even loved ones, will help people to get calm. This... this place... is worth it. I even noticed on the way here, they have a nice piano. You play piano? No. - Oh yes, Doctor, she... - She used to play lovely... - Mozart... Bach... - Oh, yeah. Debussy. Every teacher said she has a gift. It doesn't matter, I don't play any more. It's nothing. Well, she even had a scholarship... - from the Juilliard. - Oh, yeah... But we really expected her to go to a bigger school, so that she... So, she would never have to... uh, be lacking for a good-paying job. Could... could we not have this conversation, please? We just want you to be happy. Could we just not. I'm sorry. It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay. Sorry. Veronika. There's nothing else you want to say, while your parents are still here? Are you sure? Well, it's a long drive back to Brooklyn... if you want to beat the rush-hour traffic. Yeah, I guess. Getting back to Brooklyn at this hour, could be... horrible. Listen. When Dr. Blake says it's okay... you come home. Then you'll spend some time with us, okay? - Thank you. - Good bye. See you soon. Take care. Is this it? There she is. You gave us a startle, young lady. We're going to try adjusting the dosage on your medication. We wouldn't even be involved, if she'd succeeded. But fortunately she didn't, okay? We're talking about a womans life. And jobs like this have always been taken over by these Ad-Agencys when you look... None of you all sell fruit-cake. Honey, I'm a fruit-cake. They're dissing on all the publicity around this and they're trying to... Well?... Aren't you gonna react at all? No. You won't be with us... much longer... anyhow. Good thing about being in a crazy hospital... so you can get away with slapping Fred... when he yells something. - I was looking for you. - Hm? Claire said that you might... Be somebody who can help you? I need pills. I wanna die on my own terms. When those two geniuses changing shifts at the end of the day... at dinner time, around 7... that's when you come over when the door's unlatched. I don't understand. The medicine closet. How can you stand it here? Edward! Edward! Edward, come on. It's time for your treatment. Come on. Come on. Edward, come on. Dinnertime. Dinnertime. Come on, let's go. George, this way. Veronika! Get outta there! You better not. No! Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out. All of it, all of it! Come on! Spit it out! All of it, all of it. Come on. All of it! All of it! All of it! Is that all? Let me see. Come on, look at me. Look at me, great. Come on. Let's get her to Dr. Blake. So you really thought, it would be that easy to steal some pills? You're shit. Because I won't cooperate in you killing yourself? Because you love playing with peoples mind. I hate you. Really? Tell me about it. Fine. I hate your stupid desk... and I hate your ugly tie. And I hate your ridicules socks. And I hate everyone locked up in this place, and I hate my parents... for spending their very last penny to keep me in this zoo. God forbid, they should ever for one moment, live their own life. Is that what they come here for? To be the fucking same as everybody else? And I hate the jerks in my office, who think... the money they earn makes them be "shit". And more than anything, I hate the zombies on the subway... who have forgotten all of their dreams... or the fact that they ever had any to begin with! I have some terrifing news for you. Don't really much care for news. You sound like you might be feeling better. Answer me honestly, please. Does't it feel better, to feel better? Have you ever heard the story of the King and the poisoned well? You mean... Claire's absurd story? Do you think she invented it? Oh, I should've guessed this one. That's your brilliant take on reality? Well... reality is what the majority deem it to be. Not necessarily the best, or the most logical... but the one that has become adopted to the desirers of society as a whole. Some things are governed by common sense, and others become fixed... until more and more people believe that's the way it should be. Like the QWERTY keyboard. Do you know... do you know why... it's like that? Haven't really had time to give it much thought. Well... when the typewriter was first invented... the letters were arranged in alphabetical order. Now, when a person typed to quickly... keys became jammed. So this man... uh, Scholes, he invented the QWERTY keyboard... whereby people were obliged to type... more... slowly. And? Well, it's... it's a true story. You're a bat-shit crazy, you know that? You sell those patients on the optimistic belief... that they're no differend than the people on the outside... because they're no differend than you. Well, I consider that a simple matter of fact, only a truly crazy person... would call it reassuring, or optimistic. Besides... aren't you the one who accused fashion industry... of posting pathological and dehumanising values on our society? Well, I was high when I wrote that. Then I take it, an ad campaign... was not the real reason you tried to kill yourself. I had a point. You almost laughed. Another sign of improvement. Go to hell! She's beginning to expierince the reality of death... is something beyond her control. Edward's noticed her. Whatever that means to Edward. Have you grown so attached to your guild about the fix you're in with Edward... you can't see yourself living without him? Since you are so close to leaving, you'd want to construct... a happy ending for Edward to match your own? I don't think Edward being interested in a suicidal girl... with a few days to live, is much of a happy ending. Perhabs they are if you're jealous. You mean countertransference? Just because it's a cliche, doesn't mean it isn't true. Anyway... who says I'm ready to go? In order to lose someone, you must first experience... authentic attachment. Now if Edward could recover normal affect to the point of being capable... of general loss, I think I use that as my finest hour as a doctor. You're free to go. Yeah, a mystery. Yeah, I know, really. Okay Claire, I'm gonna swap you down. Here we go. - It's 100 over 80. - Good. - The numbers are all good. - Very good. Okay, stay still. Goodbye. One of your patients, Veronika Deklava... is getting considering media play... from some rather unfair things she said about one of our advertising campaigns. Of course our first and... formost concern is... for the wellbeing of the young lady. Well, now, she is a patient undergoing active treatment here... and the details of her condition are confidential. But she is recoverd enough for a... well wishing statment to pay our respect? Look... you want to put Veronika in some sort of dog and pony show. that's not going to happen. We're under a great deal of pressure over this matter... as I'm sure you understand. I'm sorry, she's not available to be put on display. We did some inquiries. The State Board Health, which gives you a license to operate. Apparently three years ago a patient died here... of a drug overdose? And the families of other patients have complained about... irregular methods of treatment. What the families of patients complain about by enlarge... is that not every mentally ill person can be cured. Now, what is it exactly you want from me? You have very... unorthodox methods, Dr. Blake. I can shine a spot-light... on the unusual activity that's taken place in here. I have absolutely nothing to hide. Two hundred and seventy-four, Two hundred and seventy-five... Two hundred and seventy-six, Two hundred and seventy-seven... Two hundred and seventy-eight, Two hundred and seventy-nine... Two hundred and eighty, Two hundred and eighty-one... Two hundred and eighty-two, Two hundred and eighty-three... Hey, Claire, honey, come on. You haven't been released. Okay, get your bags, and go let's sit at the table. Okay, I'll go get Dr. Thompson. He'll come and talk to you, okay? No, not now, Edward. I... I don't feel like playing. You okay? I'll get to the moon next time, they didn't let me leave. Are you OK? You should be careful. It doesn't really matter, does it? Hey, there is an expert in Sufi spiritual teaching talking with us tonight. Some people say Sufi spirituality is beautiful... and helpful. I'm one. ~Maybe you should take the time to gather yourself if a hurry, you know. Ooohmm... Insanity... is the inability to communicate our ideas. So, all of us... are to one degree or another insane. But don't confuse insanity with the loss of control. You have two choices: To control your mind or let your mind control you. And allow the real "I"... to revealed... itself. The real "I" is... what you are... not what others... think of you. I... I could fall in love with you, right now. And you can see me won't see me again. But that's okay. It's very early. I need to talk you. I need your help. You didn't have your injection last night. I know. I'm feeling much better. Well, you don't look it. If you want to make the most of the time you have left, you do as I say. I don't want to. And that's why I need to know exactly how much time I have left. I told you I can't be sure. Everything is happening as I anticipated. Dr. Blake, I need you to do two things for me. I need a shot or something so I can stay awake. I want to be conscious of every moment. What's the other thing? I wanna leave here. No... I don't know... You can't just go. You're not well enough. Besides you're under my care. You're looking very pale. I'm tired, that's all. Look, if I have even a little time left, there's so much I can do. I wanna go to the beach. I wanna see the ocean and I wanna feel the sand. I wanna have a huge taco at my favorite taco stand. I wanna walk into an Irish pub and I wanna order a Guinness. I've never done that. I wanna see my mom, I wanna talk to her, really talk to her. Look, get some rest and conserve what little energy you have left. Dr. Blake there's... Last night... I knew I had to live. There's so much about myself I don't know. When desire comes, that's fear. These days, most people replaced almost all their emotions with fear. And everyone has dreams, but only a few realises them, makes cowards of the rest of us. Even if they feel their right? Particularly then. Veronika, go get some rest. I have other patients to attent to. If everyone would relise their dreams, this place would be empty. Ha... The Martians just send me a message it's not a war anymore... we must go forward and bring peace to the Nations. That's what I'm doing! You think I'm making this up? This was reported on CNN! You can hear their words as plain, as the nose on your face! I recall you're telling me that Panic attacks aren't fatal... even if they feel anything. "Positive Compation". All that textbook stuff is beginning to sound rather old. Maybe it's time for you to leave this place. Oh, don't be silly. I do actually help people here, in case you haven't notice. Helping people? Like Veronika? Edward's benefiting, isn't he? Yes, but to get that benefit you're torturing a dying woman... making her recover her will to live just means too late to do any good? All in the name of research? Well, it's not a perfect science. Perhabs with everyone seams to me to lie then say what it is. And when will you finally drop those tedious notions of right and wrong... you never really believed in to beginn with? Or are you still a lawyer at heart with fantasies about truth and justice? Look, if Veronika can help Edward by giving him the illusion... he's helping her, through love... then her life and dead would not have been completely meaningless. My god! Is that the only consolation you can manage? Anyway... I made a few phone-calls... I found a nice legal-aid office on West End Avenue in Manhattan. No Billionare Corporate clients. just needy defentants... without a pot to piss in. Down the block is a decent takeout deli, I can bring my lunch to the park. Who knows? Maybe I'll... call up my ex-husband see how he's keeping. Well, it sounds all very normal. It's time I got away from you. I mean... from here. That's like I been saying, for how many years is it now? This is my office address. I stay with my sister until I can find a place. I get you the number when I have one. Thank you. You can come sit with me in the park one day. If my schedule let's up, maybe. You can't hide here forever, Alex. Yeah? Hey. Want some help? You can put those clothes in there. - Okay. - Thanks. You know, I heard you last night... playing the piano in a way I've rarely heard before. And I that you played with so much soul... because you know you're gonna die. I thought... when I'm gonna die, where's my soul? I lost it... to my husband and a job and a house... and I never had the courage to leave. And now today, I feel like I can. I wasn't myself last night. Only maybe, I really was. Nothing makes any sense anymore. Some people go their whole lives, searching for one moment... like the one you had... never achieve it. You got a thousand in you. - Sorry, I... - No, it's okay, it's time for Edward his treatment. You two can see each other later in the playroom. So, what you working today? Come on. It's time for your treatment. Come on. I need to leave Villette. Were you talking? I wanna leave. Assistance, please. Northeast corridor. Immediate assistance. It's okay Ed, it's okay. Hey Eddie, everything okay? I need to talk to Dr. Blake. Wow! You're talking up a storm there, huh? I wanna go. Why don't you take a few of these, calm down a little bid. Go here something very of grand? Don't touch me. - Where's Blake? - You got a hot appointment in the city? Dr. Thompson, you need to get here right the way. You're just having a little crisis. - Whoa! What's going on? - He talked! Edward, that's wonderful! Let's get him outta the hallway, okay? Everybody, just calm down. Edward, let's get you to the room. Relax! Everybody calm down. - Veronika! - Keep your hands off him, okay? - Veronika! - Keep your hands off of him. Get back, leave him alone. You just spoke. I believe that you just started to become important to me. - Ed, you need to come with me. - Take him to emergency. You need to go find Blake. We do the treatment as planned? Wait! I'm coming with you. - I'm going with him. - Go. Go back to your rooms now. Hey. Hey. Are you back, huh? You don't remember, do you? Veronika. How you feel? Like I could live forever. It's like you're a part of me now, like you're inside of me. You better take good care of me. It's too cold for you to be out here. No, I like to see the sunrise. Okay? If you close the door... the night could last forever. And no sun shining in. and say hello to never. All the people are dancing and they're having so much fun. I wish it would happen to me. If you close the door... the night could last forever. I'll get the wine... we shall toast to never. But, some times, I know. Your eyes, say hello. You're a very special girl. But if you close the door... I'll never have to see the day again. Veronika? Veronika? No! Dr. Thompson. Greetings. This office and Villette are now in your care. I hope you will conduct yourself wisely, as I have tried to do. I want to bring you up to speed with a few things, clear up a few matters. In a few more days, I've anticipated telling Veronika... that our injections had cured her heart condition. But in light of her unscheduled departure from Villette... my telling her a perticulare lie will not be required. The majority of people who attempt suicide... repeat that attempt until they succeed. I took a risk in lying to her about her condition. I decided to test the only remedy I've come to have any faith in. Awareness of life. Hey, look. We made it. We did. Until she finds out from some doctor that she's perfectly healthy... She'll consider each day a miracle. Which, in my view, it is. |
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