Videoman (2018)

1
In 1980 I was standing
in a radio and TV shop.
An Italian immigrant. Flat broke.
I'd just been evicted by a blonde
who found me on holiday in Rome.
I was begging for a job when I saw them.
Fat, shiny boxes with animated covers.
VHS tapes.
A year later
I ran the best video store in Sweden.
This is 2017. A completely
different world.
shit.
- shall we watch a movie tonight?
- OK.
Why are you dressing like it's the 80's?
I was looking at old photos
and realized I was gorgeous
before I met your damn dad.
I've got two black VTC for you.
I don't collect distributors anymore.
OK. What do you collect?
Czech movies from the 60's.
- You cant sell this for ten kronor.
- Let's say five.
Its an ex rental in a fat box
in good condition.
You can get 200 for this. At least.
How about a video marathon?
- I thought the theme was Giallo.
- It is.
Why have you brought this Ewa Aulin-movie?
Its a Giallo.
- Are you sleeping?
- No, I'm not sleeping.
- what was the murder weapon?
- A razor.
You're asleep when we're watching a movie.
Whats with the distance
between the couch and the TV?
Hi!
Simone, I've got a translation
that needs to be delivered ASAP.
How long will that take?
I'm seeing my daughter.
Maybe an hour. Two for you.
I'll do it.
Yes!
I haven't gone deaf since last time.
Shoes.
Where are the bills?
I'll be evicted from the basement
in three weeks and two days.
- I can't lend you any more money.
- I know, I know.
Shouldn't the bus company
pay for your new drivers license?
Yeah right. Can't you do it?
I wasn't the one driving a bus drunk.
Hungover. There's a massive difference.
I was just gonna reverse it.
There was something wrong with the bus.
I want to open a new video store.
For connoisseurs.
For fuck's sake, Ennio.
You can't let your manic hobby
ruin your life again.
What do you mean by "ruin"?
It was the best video store in town.
That was 20 years ago.
No one rents videos anymore.
The sale of vinyl records is on the rise.
My basement is a time machine.
Some people would pay a lot for a visit.
Tell that to the Enforcement Authority.
To be an expert on VHS, what is...
It's like knowing the phone book
by heart or something.
What about you?
What makes you so fucking special?
Anyone can do your job.
Anyone can live your life.
Skunk. You got the movie two weeks ago,
and you haven't paid yet.
You havent even called me.
She's got half an hour.
You can get a massage.
Free of charge.
I don't want a fucking massage.
40 kronor times 14 is serious cash.
- Give me the money.
- I don't have any money.
- I might be a few hours late.
- I'll go see dad instead.
When are we gonna have a video night?
Simone, we're leaving now.
Remember to set the alarm
and turn off the coffee machine.
Turn the lights off and lock up.
Hello?
Hello? Kristin?
Dirty old man. Christ.
Hi, it's Simone.
Hi. I called you about those video tapes.
- Great.
- Yes.
- How much do you want for this?
- I want to get rid of the entire box.
Every...
How about 100 kronor?
- For this one?
- For the entire box.
- I only want this one.
- Youll have to take the entire box.
I went up to get it.
I can't keep lugging it up and down.
OK. I'll take it.
These are so hard to come by.
26 tapes.
The complete Video Invest collection.
Isn't it 27 tapes?
You need 27
to have the complete collection.
It's complete. Except for ten porn movies.
I know. Fucking idiot.
When was the last time you bought a movie?
- I have to go.
- You just got here.
I'm working on the housewarming party.
Will you be there?
I'll be there.
Try not to overdo it.
What do you mean?
It's not a party party.
- Do you get what I'm saying?
- Is Lena away?
- No. Why?
- I see you've dressed yourself.
- Loser.
- Fucking nerd.
You want to see me fuck the gear stick?
- Hello?
- Hello? Is this Ennio?
- Yes.
- Im Faceless.
- I thought you were a man.
- I get that a lot.
I heard you got "zombie"
released on video Invest.
- well, yes...
- Is that in mint condition?
Yes, absolutely. But it's not for sale.
I'll give you 10000 Euros for it.
- Then you can buy it.
- Great.
When can I pick it up?
I want to see it with my own eyes.
As soon as possible, I guess.
Sweet. I'll see you in four days then.
- OK.
- Cool. Thank you.
Thank you.
Yes!
Fuck.
I'm coming to get you, Ennio.
Do you want any more chips?
The only thing I miss about my ex
is coffee in bed.
- what the fuck?
- So I bought a timer for the coffee maker.
I swapped the guy for a timer.
Hello!
What the fuck is this?
Stop it! what the...
What the fuck.
- Hi. Are you Enyo?
- Ennio.
I promised my boyfriend to return this.
It's damaged.
It's been soaking wet and then dried off.
That's why it was in a bag.
To protect the movie.
When the case is wet, it gets on the insert
and I have to press it
between phone books.
When it dries on its own,
it gets discolored.
- Are you sick?
- Don't you understand?
This is very valuable.
It's worth more than your damn jacket.
Fucking old git.
Tell him I want 1000 kronor
by the end of the week, or else.
VIDEO RETAILER OF THE YEAR 1989
Hey! Are you gonna open
another rental shop?
Yes, but it's not ready yet.
Shit. Youre insane.
You've built the entire shop in here.
This is a fucking museum.
This is a cultural heritage.
May I rent some of them? I'll pay double.
Which one did you want?
Which ones do I want?
- Do you have ID?
- Yes.
- Do you have "Girl hunter"?
- Of course.
- Do you?
- Yes.
Have you got
the same VHS player as last time?
Of course. Its Panasonic.
It lasts forever.
- Have you cleaned it?
- what do you mean?
Last time it chewed a tape.
There was damage on the tape,
causing disruption to the image.
- How do you know it was my VHS player?
- I wrote it down.
The image is perfect at home.
A damaged machine is tricky.
It can play a couple of tapes perfectly,
then chew one, and so on.
OK. What do you want for the movie?
I can't give you the movie
until you've cleaned the player.
Here's the number for a good repairman.
Are you seriously saying
that I can't rent "Girl hunter" today?
Yes.
OK!
Do you know what car I'm driving as well?
welcome to the Enforcement Authority.
We will answer your call
as soon as possible.
Fucking idiots.
Not a single... fucking like.
People are so fucking boring.
Ennio. E-N-N-I-O.
- Like Morricone.
- Morricone with CK?
No, Midena. Ennio Midena. That's my name.
- I found you.
- Good.
You spoke with my colleague yesterday.
According to her you said
We can shove your entire debts
up the Enforcement Authority's ass.
What I meant was that I can pay off
all my debts, including the interest.
I had some whiskey. Help yourselves.
- Have you talked to Elsa? The one in pink.
- No.
She's really nice and single.
we could do couples dinners.
- zombie.
- Come help me in the kitchen.
- Yes, of course.
- Are you eating cake?
No, Im not.
Fuck, I spilled it.
- who made The Grande Bouffe then?
- Marco Ferreri.
He made "Dillinger is dead".
They're great movies
with a lot of intensity.
Well...
Do you think Giallo-Bosse
will have time for me?
Maybe he's outgrown nude photos
and violent movies.
- So he doesnt want to talk to me?
- No.
To betray your ideals is not growing up.
Cohabiting isn't a fucking rehab.
That's easy to say when you're alone in a
basement and never have to compromise.
Not even a single movie poster
on the walls.
That's not compromise, that's fascism.
Damn. Bitch.
Bosse, listen.
Throw your fucking buddy out of here.
we haven't had a single movie night
since you met that fucking witch.
I know. But we're moving.
Theres a lot to...
- Did you speak to Elsa?
- No.
"zombie" is missing.
Do you get it?
- what did you say?
- Someone took my fucking movie.
Did you tell anyone that I found "zombie"?
I may have told Oskar with a k.
Oskar with a k? Are you fucking stupid?
- What the fuck were you thinking?
- You have to go home.
You're pussy whipped. Fucking traitor.
You stink of liquor.
Oskar with a k.
Movie night?
- Hello there.
- Simone, right?
Hi.
- Do you want to come to an after party?
- Yes.
- Ennio.
- Its Italian.
- As in Ennio Morricone.
- Whos that?
- Don't you know who Ennio Morricone is?
- No.
- Italian disco.
- Italian for you, mister.
And 80s music for me.
- Are you a nostalgic?
- Yes. You better believe it.
I feel like King Kong in New York. I
should have been extinct a long time ago.
Who wants to be an average Joe?
If you drink, you're weird.
And if you don't drink, you're also weird.
Everyone's supposed to fit in.
Everyone's supposed to be average.
I hate that word.
I couldn't have put it better myself.
Fucking naming and shaming.
You're not allowed to fail. You're supposed
to be so fucking proper all the time.
Soon they'll all run around like Chinese
bicycle soldiers in kindergarten vests.
You can only be different if you're rich.
Bicycle vests.
People are idiots.
You can't say that.
You look like the girls
in the movies I watch.
- What kinds of movies?
- Italian horrors from the 70s and 80s.
May I take a picture of you and me?
Lets see if I can find
that little gadget.
- What's your Instagram handle?
- I'm not on Instagram.
- What about Facebook?
- Im not on there either.
If I was a fucking attention whore
I wouldn't put my life on the Internet
for everyone to see.
- Are you a negative person?
- No, I'm a positive person. Definitely.
Who's disappointed a lot.
Did you find "zombie"?
Found it.
Shit. Someone spilled something.
Good morning, Oskar.
- Let's see what you've got to offer.
- Have you got a glass?
Check in the kitchen.
- Are they all VHS tapes?
- Of course.
I don't watch VHS tapes anymore.
The quality is too bad on the screen.
Don't you collect VHS tapes anymore?
Of course I collect.
I just don't watch them anymore.
You'll have to provide the eye candy then.
Here. I'm gonna fucking blow your mind.
Marcus. Excuse me.
I'm gonna need to take
some compensatory leave next week.
Well...
Next week is a bit inconvenient.
If I... give too early notice,
you don't know that far in advance.
This isn't a supermarket, is it?
I promise it's Rosalba Neri.
She'd never approve of a body double.
Check this out. This chick has a scar here.
- Probably from an appendectomy.
- OK, OK.
Lets check out the hardcore insert.
There.
The woman in the closeup hasn't got a scar.
- Do you see it?
- Yes, I see it.
So its not Rosalba Neri
who's fingering herself.
It is on the Greek tape.
But it hasn't got any hardcore inserts.
I don't give a fuck about Rosalba Neri.
Ive never liked her.
Youre the one who collects Neri.
Come back when you've got
a complete Anita Strindberg.
And I'm not talking about DVD and Blu-ray.
That's like saying
Fulci is better than Argento.
- And he is.
- What?
Fulci has made costume dramas,
sex comedies,
westerns, action movies, zombie movies.
Hes done it all!
Argento makes the same movie over
and over. All he does is Giallo movies.
- So "Suspiria" is a Giallo?
- Yes, it is.
The only difference is that the killer
is a witch and not a psychopath.
I give up.
You never admit when you're wrong.
Last week you dissed Fulci
in front of Bosse.
That was compared to Bazzoni.
Compared to him, all other Italian
directors are crap. Even Fellini.
We're sitting too close.
Why is the sofa so close to the screen?
- It's like sitting in a...
- Stop it. The distance is fine.
- How far away is it?
- I don, t know.
If you've got a 90 inch, you have
to be four meters from the screen.
That way you can see the whole screen.
If not, you'll have to move your eyes
like a fucking hummingbird.
Check this out. One, two, three.
Sit down, you fucking idiot!
You can only see 77% of your 90 inch.
What a fucking waste, Oskar.
- You're not drinking much.
- Shut up.
Cheers.
Hi.
Don't let Mr. Turtleneck push you around.
He only got the job because of his dad.
- Are you having lunch?
- No, I'm fasting.
- I'm on the 5:2 diet.
- So am I.
We can have an ice tea.
I've got something to do.
Let's do it some other time.
I'm a little bit dizzy.
- Are you a lightweight?
- Shut up.
There you go.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I live in the apartment below.
- Do you recognize me?
- Yes. I'm not that old.
I'm having a girls night in tonight.
- But I've bought too much wine.
- Too much?
- Yes.
- OK.
I was wondering if you
could keep this for me.
- I don't have a lot of room.
- Is that so?
- I can do that.
- Can you?
- Thank you. Bye.
- Bye.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Would you mind if we reschedule?
Why?
Dad can get me into a club
where I want to DJ.
That's OK. We can do it some other time.
- That's great.
- Bye. Kiss.
- I have miscalculated.
- OK.
- Can I have my wine back?
- I've drank it all.
You can't do that.
I'm joking.
- Hi, Ennio.
- Hi.
- What's up?
- No, it's OK.
I was wondering if we could make the deal
one week later?
- No.
- No?
- No.
- You see, I have some things to do...
- Is there a problem with the film?
- No, no, no. No, no, no.
- See you the day after tomorrow then.
- OK.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Son of a bitch.
- Maintainance.
- Is it the janitor at Elm Street?
- Yes, that's right.
- This is Jonas Karlsson in 7B.
A guy's coming round
to tune my guitars tomorrow morning.
My keys are at my girlfriend's.
Could you open the door for him?
Simone:
Do you have a movie about ancient Egypt?
They're only in Egypt
the first ten minutes,
but it's the best one I've seen
about the pyramids?
"Manhattan Baby".
- This is a horror.
- It's a Fulci movie.
80's for you, Italian for me.
- Fuck. It's the wrong region.
- Oh no!
Your DVD player can't play zone 1.
- Fuck.
- Have you brought anything else?
"Sphinx" with Lesley-Anne Down
and Frank Langella from '81.
It's a great movie, but it's on VHS.
I don't have a VHS player.
But I can watch it round yours some time.
- "The Mummy" from '99?
- It's crap. Full of errors.
Scarabs are dangerous in the movie,
but in ancient Egypt they're lucky charms.
Oh, shit.
- You're fucking cool.
- Why do you say that?
You haven't asked what I do for work
or anything about my personal life.
I'm more interested in the chemistry.
I posted...
I posted the pictures
I took of us on Instagram.
Why?
I wanted to show that I've got a life.
I've got 200 followers,
but no one likes my photos.
Now a days
attention is more quantity than quality.
As long as I've got a place
where I'm not replaceable,
I don't give a damn what people think.
You want to be best for yourself.
Are you a Leo?
Leo? Yeah, I am.
I have to tell people about myself.
No one ever asks me. On Facebook I can
talk about myself without anyone asking.
Don't you have a family?
They've always argued with my sister.
They never demanded anything from me.
The first time I came home drunk
my mom tried to hide it from my dad.
Back then I thought it was great,
but now I think it's fucking sick.
Hello. I have to get to work.
I'm super late.
- I'm sorry. I have to run.
- That's OK. I have to go too.
I've got a lot to...
- Are you the guitar tuner?
- That's me.
- I'll be waiting for you.
- OK, but it's gonna take a while.
I can't just let strangers
into people's apartments.
But everything's fine. It's best
if I can get some peace and quiet.
Then you'll have to wait for me
to come back. You can't just leave.
He's sorting them by directors.
This is fucking crazy.
- Did you steal Ennio Midena's "zombie"?
- Help!
- Did you steal Ennio Midena's "zombie"?
- What?
- Have you got "zombie"?
- No!
Hi.
- You'll have to say something.
- It'll come out.
But don't you see...
Hi, this is Kristin.
I can't take your call right now.
- Simone. Hi.
- Hi.
- Are you upset?
- Yes, a little bit.
What's up?
I'm having a lot of feelings
I don't know how to handle.
Christ!
- I'm sorry.
- It's OK. But...
I wish you were here now.
Me too.
I feel unfairly treated by my daughter.
She's always prioritizing her dad.
He shows up now, after I raised her.
He's got a lot of money and contacts.
- I'm sorry.
- It's OK.
- Tell her.
- No, I can't.
Of course you can. People should listen
to you. You talk a lot of sense.
- Put your foot down.
- You're so sweet.
I want you to be here now.
Can I call you back?
I'm a little bit busy right now.
- I'll call you.
- Talk to you later.
- Bosse, are you there?
- Yes! What do you want?
I'm in big fucking trouble.
- Ennio...
- Do you know Faceless?
Answer me!
I have to tell you something.
What the fuck are you doing?
Come in.
- What have you been up to today?
- Today... Eh...
What do you do for a living?
I managed one of Sweden's most talked
about video stores in the 80's and 90's.
I want to open another one.
Shit. That sounds niche.
Do you have anything stronger than wine?
Help yourself.
Fuck. I want to get drunk.
We're passionate people.
You love movies
and I love Egypt and the 80's.
That's why we're outsiders. Normal people
don't have time to be passionate.
But for us it's all or nothing.
Sometimes you hit the wall, but so what?
In ancient Egypt they skipped the bad times
when they wrote down their history.
I'm trying to do the same.
I only remember the fun parts.
I've been fantasizing about you.
It's nice to wake up in a bed for once.
There hasn't been a man
in this bed in ages.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
- What's up with you?
- Are you angry?
No.
- Don't go.
- I need the toilet.
- Are all men the same?
- Absolutely not.
- It feels like I could be anyone.
- No.
That's what you said. "There hasn't been
a man here in ages."
- That's not what I meant.
- Where are my boxers?
Here.
Do you have to be fully dressed
to go to the toilet?
Shit. My boss has liked
one of my Facebook posts.
You're such an attention whore.
Is it extra important
because it's your boss?
What's your problem? Did you get up
on the wrong side of the bed?
No, I'm just tired of this crap.
Status this and status that.
The digital plague.
I thought it was us against the world.
Can't it be us and the world?
You said we were special, passionate.
That average is boring.
Do we have to think
we're better than others?
You're so fucking PC.
It's because people are idiots.
Why would certain people, you,
be better than others?
That's being an attention whore.
You're fixated on status.
That's so fucking stupid.
Are you crazy?
OK, now I'm crazy.
He collect movies, he must be weird.
- I must have some kind of diagnosis.
- What's wrong with you?
Didn't you need the toilet?
Fuck!
17 missed calls
Hello?
- How about lunch tomorrow?
- Sure. That's fine.
My best friend had a job like yours.
With twice as many tasks.
She's extremely upstanding.
She'd never talk behind people's backs
at lunch.
So she was ostracized.
One day the boss wanted to talk to her.
He said she was overly ambitions.
Then she was fired.
No! That's insane.
You're not very good at your job.
If we ask you to fix something,
you take way too long.
I want you to resign.
Just do it. Now. This week.
Then I'll shut up.
I know what you're doing.
- Do you want dessert?
- Yes, please.
- Wait!
- What are you doing there?
- I'm locked in. Help me out.
- Why would I do that?
- What happened to us?
- Video killed the radio star.
I thought we had some great years.
Our camping holidays.
The summer in Italy.
You, me and mom in Venice
and the priest who told us to go to hell.
"Heaven is crying for you.
You are heathens."
The one who got bird poo on his head.
I forgot about that.
I was the man of your dreams.
I was number one.
Isn't that right, Margareta?
Isn't that right?
I'm coming to get you, Ennio.
- Hello?
- It's Bosse. Open up!
- It's Bosse!
- There should be a bounty on your head.
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Open up.
Open up. We're selling "zombie".
Do you know Faceless?
No, I don't.
But I told her about zombie.
Maggan told me you were having
financial difficulties
and that debt collectors are after you.
Faceless pays a lot of money
for rare VHS tapes.
- You don't stiff her.
- I didn't!
- Someone's stolen zombie.
- Stolen?
- But you said...
- I lied.
What the hell now?
Ferox Johan.
We'll buy "zombie" from Ferox Johan.
- Why the fuck are we meeting here?
- He was going to an afterhours party.
He feels threatened by you.
So I said...
Pussy whipped.
What? Oh, shit...
Hello. Nice of you to call.
- What the fuck did you post on Instagram?
- What?
- Check it, for fuck's sake.
- What did I post?
- Do you see it?
- That's disgusting.
- That's right.
- I've never had more likes.
Delete it, or I'm cutting contact.
I'll delete it immediately.
Listen to me.
I want you to come visit me tonight.
- I can't.
- I don't give a shit if you can't.
It's important.
Come see me, cause I need to talk to you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Can you take this?
Get help.
- I'm so sorry.
- Do you have the film?
Yes, I have the film. But please.
I will only do this if you come alone.
- Of course I'm coming alone.
- OK. Good.
- Have you talked to Bosse?
- Who?
- Bosse.
- I don't know anybody named Bosse.
See you tonight, Ennio.
Text me your address.
- Hello, sweetie. Welcome.
- Thanks.
I'm glad you came.
You wanted to talk to me.
- Why are you avoiding me?
- I'm not avoiding you.
- You're prioritizing your dad over me.
- Yes.
I'm jealous
of your relationship with your dad.
- Why don't you want to see me?
- Why do you think?
I haven't got a clue.
Because of your drinking.
You're an alcoholic, mom.
The last few years before I moved out,
I found bottles hidden everywhere.
Every time we talk on the phone,
you're drunk.
Why didn't you say anything?
I was taught to sweep things under the rug.
- I want to be your friend.
- I don't want a friend.
I want a mother.
After the divorce your dad moved in
to the flats opposite with that woman.
I carried on as usual
and worked my ass off to support us.
I made sure we went on holidays and that
you could go to your riding camps.
I don't give a shit about the riding camps!
You were always drunk
when I came home from school!
I had to brush your teeth sometimes!
- He didn't care about you.
- Yes, he did.
He didn't give a shit about you.
He didn't show up until you turned 15.
I never gave up. I never complained.
Wine became my friend.
Wine became my dream
about something other than
my miserable reality.
OK. Do you mean me?
I meant...
I love you. You're everything to me.
I'm sorry.
Where have you been?
I'm sorry, but I have to
go on sick leave for a few weeks.
- We can't talk about it now. I'm busy.
- I can see that, but...
- Did you hear what he said?
- Yes, but this is urgent.
I'm going to rehab, so I have to
go on sick leave starting tomorrow.
Don't worry. You don't have to pay for it.
My well-to-do sister is taking care of it.
- Are you drunk?
- Of course I am.
In a few days I'll be sober
for the rest of my life.
You can pack up your stuff and leave.
OK. Sure. Absolutely.
- Seriously.
- Did she leave?
Log in or sign up
- Bloody goldmine in here.
- We don't have time for this.
What the fuck am I doing with this idiot?
Ennio. Is that Italian?
Like Morricone?
- I need more time.
- What am I doing with you?
What's going on here?
Why am I tied up? Where is my money?
- Your money is on the table.
- Why am I tied up?
I said: Let's move on.
He said: I just want to have a look.
He's like you. A manic fucking collector.
I hate you fucking guys
obsessing over old shit.
You can't connect with people
so you try dead things instead?
Why does he have a mask?
Sometimes, Ennio, he has to do dodgy shit.
Some guys won't stick to a deal.
I need one more hour.
A small fucking hit.
Five more minutes,
then we're gone.
Give me one fucking break!
We have one more stop,
then you can OD for all I care.
- It's one in a million. I'm staying.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
Where is your friend?
He ran.
- You remind me of my brother.
- Why?
He was a collector too.
A manic depressive junkie.
- Hang himself.
- I'm sorry.
Don't be.
His cop out makes me travel around Europe
completing the holes in his VHS collection.
Why?
I want to give my niece a present
from her loser dad.
That's nice.
Pleasure doing business with you.
- Hi, Ennio.
- Hi.
What are you up to?
- I'm watching Cleopatra.
- OK.
- With Taylor?
- Yes. She's the best.
- Yes. Of course.
- She's fucking gorgeous.
Listen...
I know I can be critical sometimes.
Yes, a bit.
You were right.
I'm also an attention whore.
I always want to be the best,
but I know I'm not.
Sometimes, when I realize
how insignificant I am,
I want to slaughter
everything and everyone.
But with you... I don't know.
I'd rather bite my tongue.
I haven't cared about someone else
in fucking ages.
I care about you too, Ennio.
- OK.
- And I like listening to you.
Usually.
I'm an alcoholic.
So what? I'm a know-it-all.
Probably an alcoholic as well.
You're the best at being the worst.
I know.
I'm gonna change my life.
I'm not gonna mess about.
I'm drinking wine for the last time in...
For the last time, hopefully.
Can we do something
about our lives together?
I mean, some people build houses.
We can build each other.
I wish you were here now, Ennio.