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Keep those cameras away.
How you feelin', sweetie pie?
Well, my head isn't so hot anymore.
Willie...
I swear to God,
they told me you were a dead man.
I'm right here, honey.
Can we get outta here, Dick?
Please?
You look real nice, Dick.
Let's play a game
while we wait, huh?
Do you know where Em is?
Let's say the game is...
...you can go any place, anytime,
as long as you say it out loud to me.
I don't need
to be playin' that game anymore.
Go ahead.
Shit!
Go ahead.
Tell me what went wrong.
All I'll say is...
it wasn't just me.
Everybody I know in town wants out,
but they can't.
Lord knows,
me and Emmett've been tryin'
to move outta here.
Just not like this.
I think I might've fucked it up, Willie.
I mean, Virginia Beach town is fine
three months out of the year.
But September to May,
it starts getting' cold.
The snow comes.
Anybody with their head
screwed on right
moves the hell outta here
the first chance they get.
And if you ask me,
things started gettin' real bad
about a year ago.
Back when that TV-show came to town.
All their cameras,
microphones, whatever.
Sheriff, can you give us your take
on what happened here tonight?
I believe we need to make examples out
of each and every one of these criminals.
Where's the groceries?
I forgot our list.
On a state level, as well.
That's why I'm running for a seat
on this great state's Senate in November.
- Well, good luck to you, Sheriff.
- Thank you.
So what we have here tonight
is a classic example...
Got it all figured out?
All taken care of.
Yes.
Yeah, I see them lookin' at me.
I know it.
I hear you loud and clear.
How 'bout I take these with me, then,
and I'll wash you and you and you later?
Okay.
- All right, so we did this.
- Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Our Heavenly Father,
thank you for guiding my words and actions
with the TV folks tonight.
Forgiving me this time with Virginia.
And, most of all, for keeping us safe
from worldly harm.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Amen.
So...
If you do a good job in this life,
then you get a planet of your own
when you die, right?
Yes.
Just like our Heavenly Father did
before he made us.
Right. And he had wives...
...in heaven?
So... will I be there with you?
Of course, we'll all be there, together.
And who's the boss?
- You?
- You bet.
Well, then, do you have to use
the same colours for things on this planet,
or do you get to pick your own?
I bet we get to make
some choices of our own.
Then we should make people
more colourful.
Like have blue ones,
and red.
And there are colours
we ain't even thought of.
That could be your job.
He keeps on his special,
prayed-on Mormon underwear
when we do it,
'cause Mormon underwear
have special powers
to protect folks
from bullets and demons...
...and probably for him,
to keep women who sleep
with married Mormon men
quiet and not pregnant.
It's been goin' on
ever since she was 16,
when he gave her a ride
back to her foster home
after she tried burnin' down her school,
not long before she had me.
My birth certificate's all blank
in the "Father" spot.
So when I was three,
she told me my dad was this NASCAR driver
that had come through town.
You see, you let your kid
go tellin' everybody
that his daddy
just won the Daytona 500.
And after about 20 fights,
I only had one friend left.
And he's a haemophiliac,
professional babysitter.
Come here. Let me look.
Easy. Easy now.
I think it stopped.
Yeah, you sure about that?
And the only girl
that'd give either of us the time of day
was a girl named Jessie.
I think you're gonna live.
You know, she has her dad's lips,
which on him don't quite fit.
But, on her,
make the most beautiful mouth
I'll ever see.
But we weren't allowed
anywhere near each other.
Genetics is one
of our most powerful sciences.
And then,
sophomore year Bio 1 started.
Got everything goin'
in a different direction real quick.
And it can tell you
with absolute certainty
who you are and are not related to.
We'll start with dangling
versus attached earlobes.
What do you want?
Nothing.
Who pissed in your Sugar Puffs?
I'll tell you what, Willie,
nobody pissed in my Sugar Puffs.
My mornin' just sucked balls.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
But don't take more than it says,
or I can't keep giving it to you.
Sure thing.
So? Am I gonna have a baby?
No.
What's in your lungs is growing,
and I think maybe that's why
you've missed your period.
Maybe we should just do a backup test.
I gotta pee again anyway.
Well, we could do that again
in a month or so,
but what needs to happen right now,
is that you need to meet with a new doctor.
Why?
Um, if what is in your lungs is bad,
then you are gonna need
to be somewhere for a while.
- In a hospital?
- Right.
So if you could just fill out
this paperwork for me,
y'know, out there in the waiting room,
then bring it on back, that'd be terrific.
You think you could do that
for me, Virginia? Sure thing.
Excuse me.
You work here?
No. My mom does.
Oh.
I'm Max. I own this, uh,
this pier your mom works at.
Oh...
Um, I was just gettin' a copy of my ear
for... for a school assignment.
I see.
I can pay you for those.
Oh, don't worry.
Thanks.
Oh, you're, uh... you're not looking
for a summer job, are you?
I, uh... I got one or two opportunities
still available.
Of course, the top news
is that our governor,
and now presumptive
presidential nominee,
has announced
his newest campaign tour dates,
including a stop right here on Labour Day.
His dinner will be a barbecue
at the home of our very own
Sheriff Richard Tipton,
who is knee-deep in his own run
for State Legislature.
Do you like this one?
That should be fine.
Look at this.
Do you think she looks pretty in yellow?
Yes. She's beautiful in that one.
Hey, Dad, you got some mail.
You see, I was born
with dangling earlobes.
And according to my biology teacher,
unless you went to public school
in South Carolina,
you'd know my mom's ears
and the sheriff's ears
never could've made mine.
So using genetics,
for the first time
since I was eight years old
I knew for certain
who my father wasn't.
Do you believe in God?
Or are you an atheist, sinning scientist?
I don't know.
Well, it's either one or the other, Em.
I got your letter.
Meet me, 1:00 p.m.
Do you think we come from apes?
Do you?
Some people say we do,
but you can't count so much
on science anymore, you know.
Who do you think your dad is?
Could be anybody.
Anybody with hanging earlobes.
When I got your letter...
...I prayed about it.
You can't do that.
Why? There's no reason why not now.
I want a temple wedding first.
You have to be a priesthood holder
in good standing in my church
to give me that.
And you just don't have it in you.
Jessie...
you really think God's still listenin'
to your daddy's prayers?
Seems like there was
always something.
Now it was just like
her dad told my mom a million times.
Christians should only do it
with Christians.
Mormon or any other kind.
Virginia,
I need all my drivers.
If you can't come in,
I'm gonna have to let you go.
Probably a goddamn blessin'.
That job didn't pay crap.
I'll get a new job in a week
when I feel right.
You ready?
I'm sorry, Emmett.
Serious.
It's fine.
"I've just returned from a visit
to my landlord,
"the solitary neighbour
that I shall be troubled with.
"This is certainly a beautiful country.
"In all England, I do not believe
I could've fixed the situation..."
And April came and went,
and then May.
Come on in, Emmett.
Then summer came along,
like it always does.
Mrs. Tyler, I'd like to introduce Emmett.
I'm starting him off in the ticket booth.
I think he's got great potential.
This is, uh, this is my cousin, Barry.
Barry? Barry?
This is... this is Emmett.
He's got great potential.
Show Emmett how the register works.
On second thought, Emmett,
go get me a Diet Pepsi and some Dentyne
from the Quickie Stop.
Yes, ma'am.
Where have you been?
Stayin' away from you.
I had a religious revelation.
A conversion or whatever.
To what?
Bornagain Baptist.
They say you're a cult member.
And you drink blood and crap,
and you think you're gonna
live forever in outer space.
Don't believe everything
you read on the Internet, jerk-ass.
Here you go.
If you can believe in a Jesus,
I can believe in a Jesus.
Yeah, well, my Jesus
is better than your Jesus.
Prove it.
Convert me.
I'm ready to meet your Jesus.
We used her dad's cash
and my employee discount
to buy a large pizza
and ride the new Revolution
I figured if he got my mom,
it was only right I got Jessie.
Get in here, Em!
There's a lady out there
poundin' down my door!
I'm busy. Just tell 'em to go away.
She just doesn't like it if I'm not around.
She was okay without you before, right?
When we were little?
Nowadays she's better when I'm here.
Hey, where did the Lamanites
get all that gold from?
Virginia? I know you're in there!
She's not here!
Honey, I got the cough syrup.
That was our deal.
I get the cough syrup, you let me in.
Now, Virginia...
you need some medical treatment.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
It's just some tests.
Tests, fests, rest with the best.
Right. Well, I've gone ahead
and reserved your room.
And they're gonna admit you on Monday.
Oh, no, no. You can't do that.
- Hell, I can.
- Miss Nicholaus.
Now, Miss Nicholaus! Listen...
You don't worry about me.
I'm a good Mormon woman!
God'll look after me!
Miss Nicholaus,
I am asking you nicely,
you give me... give me that cigarette!
- Hell, no!
- You get down off that table
and you give me that cigarette!
Because if you don't,
I'm gonna have you forced
into that hospital!
None of you and your tricks
can keep me from leaving, you got it?
You come back here,
I'll rip your fucking eyes out!
I am coming back!
And I'm bringin' reinforcements!
And I will drag you out of there
by your teeth!
"'Mama Ou," ' you ain't, bitch!
After my grandma died
in a huntin' accident
and my grandpa got locked up
for robbin' houses,
my mom didn't say a word
for, like, two years to nobody.
She just sat in a psycho ward for kids
up in Atlantic City.
They called it
"traumatic onset of schizophrenia".
The put her on all kinds of pills and probes
tryin'to get her to talk again, but...
...it didn't work.
The only good thing they ever did
was give her a big ol' black nurse
named Willie.
He took her along on his donut breaks.
He's probably the only man
who ever really loved my mom
without fuckin' her up any.
Put 'em up!
Get away from that door.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Let's say it's a birthday present.
Oh, my God.
- Is it real?
- Yes, it's real.
You didn't tell me he'd have a friend over.
Who? Oh, you mean Dale?
I was thinkin' maybe...
they could go someplace else tonight.
Well, they still have one more movie.
Total runnin' time, 164 minutes.
Look what Mr. Tipton
got you as a present.
He says it's half-price night at the pier.
I'm gonna hang here for a while.
Let's go.
Hold me close.
And tell me how you feel.
Tell me love is real
Words of love.
You whisper soft and true...
I need to tell you somethin'.
I went to the doctor.
He let me know somethin' big.
What is it?
Hmm?
I'm gonna have a baby.
A new one.
Whose baby?
It's all yours.
I promise.
There ain't been nobody else.
Untie me.
Are you mad?
Just untie me.
You've been doin' this
with somebody else again?
Nobody else.
I promise.
You know, I personally
don't believe in it, but...
...in this case, I...
I think it's best if I
support your decision
not to have this baby.
I ain't gonna do that.
Virginia... tell me,
what other option do we have?
- Hmm?
- I don't know.
- Hmm?
- Dick, I won't tell nobody.
I promise.
No, no, I-I just can't
have this right now.
- I fucked up last time!
- It's just not possible!
I know I fucked up last time,
but this one'll be raised right, I swear!
I swear to you, Dick,
I will do everything right!
Dick...
Please.
From then on, every Tuesday,
there was money in the mail.
I could've moved us
outta here in six months
with a couple hundred bucks a week,
and we needed outta here real bad, Willie.
And I guess nobody noticed
he was sendin' me campaign money,
'cause his campaign folks
had bigger fish to fry.
We have a problem.
The governor doesn't want
to come here anymore for Labour Day.
- Why not?
- Because they have
a red-white-and-blue Ferris wheel
up in Jersey.
What colour is our Ferris wheel?
Pink, and it ain't ours.
Move it! Move it!
I know what you people think of me.
Well, fuck you! Okay? Fuck you!!
That's my pink Ferris wheel,
and it's staying pink!
And I want my goddamn lawyer.
I...
I really would like
to change the colour of your Ferris wheel.
So... what can I offer you?
Well, I wanna be on the city's board
from here on out.
- Done.
- And I go to all the campaign events.
Great. We can do that.
Then you repaint my wheel.
Pink.
Right?
Mom?
Mom, this is Emmett.
Oh... Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't wanna stain your nice shirt.
Are you with our congregation?
I don't know. I live east of here.
He doesn't go to church yet,
he's thinkin' about coming to ours.
Oh. Great.
Well, you can sit with us on Sunday, then.
And this is Richard, my husband.
Richard, this is Jessica's new friend,
Emmett.
It's nice to meet you, sir.
We've met before.
Well, it's a surprise seein' you here.
I'm always the last to know.
Are you alone?
Yes, sir.
America.
America.
God shed his grace on thee.
The grace of trust...
...of tradition,
and of self-reliance.
It was a quick edit.
We'll have a better version Monday.
You, follow me.
Well, I've been workin' real hard
at improvin' myself, sir.
I can honestly say I've studied
and am following every rule
in the Doctrine and Covenants
and Words of Wisdom books.
I even gave up coffee.
Emmett, there are a few different kinds
of people in this world,
and if they know
what's best for themselves,
they stick to their own backyards.
You see, there are things
that cross the lines of nature.
Hmm? Break the laws
of civilized society.
I don't just mean
in the eyes of the Lord.
- Sir...
- What?
Yes?
I've been meanin' to tell you
for a while now, sir.
Well, tell me, Emmett. What?
Well, I'm not your kid, sir.
I can prove it if you want me to...
You have any idea how many men
your momma used to let into her room?
Hmm? Just because I'm the only one
who still comes around
does not mean I am your father!!!
Look at yourself. It's clear as day.
- Dick, can we talk?
Not right now, dear.
Oh!
- Get on the ground.
- What?
Get...
Our shit ain't good enough
for your house, right?
But you come mix yours up in mine
anytime you want.
Emmett, you may think
what I've done is wrong,
but what you're doing is against God.
Fuck your God. And fuck you.
I'll love my babies more
than you've ever loved
your whole fucked-up family.
That's not true, Emmett.
Stay on the ground
or I'll clean out your skull.
That's... That's enough now.
Stay on the fuckin' ground.
We never judged
our boy's girlfriends first
before we got to know them.
It just doesn't seem fair...
Jesus H. Christ, Roseanna.
Does my judgment not mean a goddamn thing
in my own house?!
Oh! Oh...
I'm so sorry.
I just wish you wouldn't use
the Lord's name in vain.
Dear Heavenly Father...
...please grant my loving daughter guidance
to understand the path that she is on,
the path that she must take.
The path that we must share together
as a family, as difficult as it is.
And we want to thank you
for a wonderful evening
with the wonderful television ad.
And the support for our father
and our husband, Richard.
Through you, our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Amen.
From then on,
every Saturday night
she started ditchin' her prayer group.
And I never heard her say
too much about the Angel Moroni,
the Lamanites or Mormon priesthood
blessings ever again after all that.
But it didn't take long to figure out
her dad had given his boy permission
to do whatever he could
to keep me away from Jessie.
Must've called me the devil himself.
I'm not interested!
It's me, Mom.
- Oh, my God. They got you.
- No, no.
Which ones was it?
What'd they look like?
I started boxin' at school.
Sit down.
Let me see.
Does it hurt?
No?
Emmett...
We need to have a special talk.
How about Sizzler's?
- Just tell me.
- No!
I got money now.
Where'd you get money from?
A woman has her secrets.
Do you like this?
I'm not goin' till you tell me.
Okay, but I don't want you to worry.
I'm pregnant...
with Sheriff Tipton's baby.
Although... I'm still thinkin'
maybe I got it from God, like Mary did.
'Cause I used rubbers every time.
I'm serious.
But we can't tell a single soul.
Gotta keep it a secret.
Promise. Cross your heart.
I promise.
Cross my heart.
'Cause when I start growin',
we're gonna need to leave here,
so those... city folks
don't start asking questions.
Get us all wrapped up in controversy.
Lock us behind bars. Whatever.
Where are we going?
San Fran with your aunt, where else?
We don't have enough money yet.
He's givin' me hush money for the baby.
So we'll be loaded in no time.
We're gonna get two tickets outta here.
First class.
Now...
...can we go get some shrimp cocktail?
When I was in second grade,
the counsellor called me in for a meetin'
after my 20th fight.
She'd met my mom that mornin'.
And in her own roundabout way,
she told me I couldn't believe
all the stories my mom told me
all the time.
But how was I supposed to know
what I should and shouldn't believe
from my own mom.
Let's go.
Problem is, I still guess wrong
every now and then.
Excuse me!
What are you doin' with my letters?
Putting 'em in your box.
You've been takin' my letters
and my money, haven't you?
No, ma'am.
Who you workin' for, mister? Huh?
Give me my letters.
Give me my goddamn...
give me my goddamn letters!
Hi, Ms. Nicholaus.
Hi.
How'd you know it was me?
'Cause you're with Emmett.
I'm goin' in alone.
Good to see you.
Thank you so much. Really appreciate it.
- Oh, hi, Dick.
- Well, hello, Max.
Congratulations.
What a wonderful speech.
- Thank you.
- Oh, I have a question.
Why didn't you ask me to your house
to watch your commercial? Hmm?
I mean, I consider that a campaign event.
I thought we had a deal.
I could've been very helpful.
Dick? I could've been helpful to you.
I saw it.
It, uh... it wasn't a home run.
It wasn't so great, Dick.
Dick?
Earth calling Dick. Hmm?
He's movin' us to Richmond
when he wins the election.
Are you... are you goin' with him?
If I do...
...it'll ruin me, Em.
Stay here with us.
I mean, I can take care of you both.
Only if you ask me to stay forever.
Then I'll say yes.
You know what I mean.
I... I want to see you,
but... now's not the right time.
Okay, you're the boss.
Say when, I'll be there.
Listen to me, this life
is just a little grain of sand in time.
It's the next life that counts.
And there we'll be together.
So... why are you so damn worried
about me being here in this life?
Because right now, this time, legally,
you know, historically,
especially right now...
...it's impossible for us
to follow God's plan...
Excuse me. Dick, please.
Can I help you, ma'am?
- Hi, Virginia.
- Hi.
- I'm cutting the line off for tonight.
- Okay, I'll be quick.
I'm sorry, Virginia.
It's best... Just save it for later.
Okay. Somebody's been
interceptin' my letters.
He'd wanna talk to me about that right now.
Promise.
Later's just way too late.
Virginia, the line's cut off, okay?
Between you and me, I think it'd be better
if you don't call the office anymore.
Your letters aren't being intercepted,
they've been stopped.
For good.
Those are the Sheriff's words. Not mine.
I'm never gonna leave you.
You always got me.
Forever.
Oh, I'm all bleedin'
and dried up inside.
He loves you.
But he's just too messed up
to know it right now.
Now come on.
I'll give you a ride.
You're the best thing I ever did, Emmett.
You know that?
I did you right, don't you think?
We need to get outta here.
For real, this time.
That night,
my ears started ringin'.
And all the air in the world went out.
And nobody knows it,
but I get scared
when she gets knocked down like that.
Because she keeps right on fallin'
and it don't stop.
So I gotta protect her,
'cause she's all I ever had in this world.
And as far as I can tell,
she's more good than most people ever get
in their whole lives.
I got two to feed. Let's go.
Emmett.
I asked Dick once
if I was like a second wife
after I saw this show on Mormons
and he said that I was like that.
We're shopping. Help me unload.
Except I had to keep it secret,
'cause it's illegal, which is true.
On that show,
they sent that Mormon man to prison
for havin' too many wives.
I'm good with secrets, Willie.
Unless you piss me off.
Paper or plastic?
I'm having Sheriff Tipton's baby.
Lori! Hi. Look.
I'm pregnant with Sheriff Tipton's baby.
Can you believe it?
You know he's been knocking me up
for 16 years now.
Mmhmm.
ShinLee, it was bound to happen.
Mm.
I need you to do some things for me.
How many things?
Three big things.
What kind?
I need grandma and
grandpa's weddin' rings.
What for?
To get married with. What else?
I'm gonna make us
peas and carrots tonight.
From scratch.
Maybe try it with cream sauce.
I ain't leavin' you for her.
People want one at a time, Emmett.
That's just how it is.
The other one rots
in the back of the fridge.
Bullshit.
I can take care of myself.
It'll just make our family bigger.
More people around'll be nice.
So is that one thing, or two?
One. The other thing is,
you gotta lay low for a while.
So that means you can't make no war
on her dad right now. Not yet.
Fuck me. Three?
I don't just want the rings,
I want your blessin'.
They'll marry anybody
up in Atlantic City.
Brothers marrying sisters,
black people marryin' white people,
drunk people marryin' drunk people.
I don't see why they wouldn't marry
the two of you.
I could decorate it.
I could make it real nice.
Get white... white flowers
and ribbons and cake.
I wanna get some champagne,
that's for damn sure.
- Well, it doesn't have to be fancy.
- Shhh.
Okay.
I'm givin' you one, two and three.
This one from mom.
This one from dad.
Wow.
Not so heavy anymore.
All right.
Thank you.
Careful. It's a live one.
Oh, lord! My goodness.
Thank you.
Shin-Lee over
at the dry cleaners told me.
Roseanna told their bishop
that he wasn't puttin' it in her anymore.
He put her on anti-anxious pills
and put their house up for sale
right after all that.
God knows, he never could admit
a damn thing was his fault.
What do you mean when you say collateral?
Well, you know, just anything of value
that you can back the loan up with.
No. I don't have that.
That's why I need a loan.
And what is this loan for exactly?
Well... I gotta get up to Atlantic City,
get a couple hotel rooms,
and help my son get married.
It's gotta be a beautiful wedding.
Then maybe play the slots a little.
When we get back though,
we're leavin' this hell hole
to go live out in
California with my sister.
And she's my son's legal mom anyhow, so...
...it's all on the up-and-up.
Listen, Virginia,
I shouldn't even be telling you this,
but I can't give you a loan right now,
because the bank is
completely out of money.
What kind of horse shit is that?
No. It's true.
I'm very sorry to hear about that.
Thank you for your time.
Betty, how much money's in your bank?
Oh, hey, V.
I believe we need to make examples
of each and every one of these criminals.
Not just on a local level,
but on a state level, as well.
That's why I'm running for a seat
on this great state's Senate in November.
Appreciate havin' me on the show.
- So how much?
- Shut up, baby.
Look, you're on TV!
...Sheriff's Patrol
have a gift for people like that.
And that's a one-way ticket
to the county jail.
On The Scene
is filmed on location.
Real crimes, real justice,
in your backyard.
I knew what I was about to do
was wrong, Willie.
But like you always told me,
I have responsibilities.
And I'm not blaming you.
I was just trying as hard as I could
to take care of my shit,
and my kid and everything.
And the way things
were falling into place,
you'd have thought
God himself wanted it to happen.
Betty?
Oh, my God, Emmett. Not now.
I'm late as hell for work.
Where's your mom? Is she all right?
I think so.
Betty, can I use your Granada?
What the hell do you want
that piece of shit for?
We're goin' to Atlantic City.
What for?
I'm getting' married.
Emmett!
You're still too damn pretty
to get married.
Don't go off and ruin everything.
Can I use it?
Christ.
Fill her up before you bring her back.
Premium only!
Hey.
Hello. Does a Virginia Nicholaus
live here with you?
- Ma'am...
- Oh!
You can't wear that in here.
Oh, no!
Mom?
Hi.
Where'd you go?
Just exercisin'. Who's here?
A couple of Mormons.
- What do they want?
- You. That's what they said.
Are you sure they're actual Mormons?
They're the real deal.
Okay. Um, go keep 'em company.
I'm late for work.
Fine. Um...
Tell 'em I'll just need a minute, okay?
All units in the area be advised,
on Riverton Road.
All units in the area...
- What's wrong?
- Bank robbery. Everything's fine.
Mom?
It's like God sent you down to me.
I've always wanted to be a Christian.
I just... I wasn't sure
if I was good enough.
Ma'am, the ladies
that sent us over here
said that you told her that you
were already a member of our ward.
Who told you I said that?
Uh, Mrs. Whitaker, your social worker.
Oh. She's a lyin' whore.
I don't have a social worker.
Ma'am... she said you were sick,
and you didn't... want help.
Why... why is that?
It's because she's one of 'em.
Make my lungs go all swish.
Everything goes out.
But what I want to know...
...is how do I become a good Mormon?
Well, it's a process.
But it's not too hard.
- It's not, is it?
- Ma'am,
I was hoping that we could take you
down to the hospital
and have them take a look at you.
Honey, I'm feelin' so much better now.
You don't have to worry about that.
Uh, well, then, ma'am,
can we just give you a blessing
before we go?
What do you mean?
It's just to absolve you of your sins,
in case anything does happen to you.
So you can go to heaven.
I need that to get to heaven?
Clears up everything?
Well, as long
as you're sincere about it, yeah.
Okay... Let's do it.
I mean, I'm not sure if it was real,
or just some crazy person,
but I'm real sure it was no woman.
It was not a woman.
That was clear.
So, uh, if you need anything,
uh, just call this number.
Oh, thank you.
It's... It's mine.
There's no tellin'
why they didn't come right after me,
but I felt real bad about Dale.
And Max, that was just plain old politics.
Just takin' him out while they could.
Only a fuckin' moron
would rob a bank.
Everybody knows
banks aren't where it's at.
So when do you think
they might let you outta here?
I don't know.
You still goin' up
to get married tomorrow?
We could wait a week or so.
I mean, there'll be other chances.
I need you there.
You're my best man.
You know, your boss, Max,
is in here with me.
Says he's gonna help me set up
my first daycare centre when I get out.
So this all just might be
some blessin' in disguise.
Don't let me fuck your plans up.
We're meetin' at the bus
station at 8:00 a.m.
So if you get outta here,
you meet us there, okay?
All right?
I'm goin' in to get her.
I'll keep watch.
Local service
for Atlantic Avenue, bus number 24,
is now leaving lot 1.
Local service to Atlantic Avenue,
bus 24, lot 1.
Bus 15 to Norfolk...
leaving in 10 minutes.
Get in the stall, get on your knees.
Get in the stall. Get in the stall.
Get down on your knees.
What are you doin' here?
Me and my mom
are goin' on a trip.
You need to learn
how to keep your momma quiet, boy.
I don't think I can.
For better or worse.
Way I see it,
she's the only person
fucked up enough in the head
to really give a goddamn about you.
Don't you ever talk like that
about your mother again!
I want my gun back.
It's gone.
All units, be advised
we have an escaped suspect...
If you come within 100 yards
of anyone in my family ever again,
I will clean out your skull.
Do you hear me?
Hmm?
Well, then do it.
It'll fuck up your life
more than it'll fuck up mine.
- Dad?
Relax, Josh. Go back outside.
Sir, there's...
there's a jailbreak.
I heard the call. I'll be right out.
Keep pressure on it.
Jessie's friend
said she'd cover for her.
Get their IDS bus trip on the road
so we could go get hitched,
up in Atlantic City.
Took every last dime, but...
...for once in my life
that's exactly what happened.
One way or another
I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha
getcha getcha getcha.
One day maybe next week
I'm gonna meetcha
I'm gonna meetcha I'll meetcha
I will.
Drive past your house.
And if.
The lights are all down
I'll see who's around...
By the authority vested in me
by the great state of New Jersey...
...in this blessed land of the US of A,
I now pronounce you kids man and wife.
You may kiss the lucky bride, son.
Now your family and my family
are one big family.
It's how it was meant to be.
Okay, one more.
They're probably out
lookin' for me by now.
You're mine now.
There's no more "them".
How am I supposed to feel like this
is real if I can't even tell anyone?
We just have to wait a little bit.
In a couple years, when we're both 18,
we can tell everybody.
That's not far away.
That's just what's coming next.
I need to see Willie Riggs.
Who?
Willie. William... Riggs.
He's a black nurse with a green bird.
And who are you?
I'm Virginia. His girlfriend.
Well, there's no Willie here anymore.
Can I help you?
My baby's comin'.
You need to get him.
I... I need him.
The only Willie I know
hasn't been here for quite a while.
Oh!
Are you all right?
I'm gonna pop!
I'm... I'm... I'm gonna pop!
Don't touch me! Don't touch me!!
Don't touch me!!!
Hi.
Take me home. Please.
They're trying to hurt me.
They said you couldn't hardly breathe.
Maybe you need to go to a county hospital.
Please.
Just take me home.
Just take me home.
Okay.
Okay. We're goin' home.
I lost my baby, Emmett.
I know.
Hey.
You know that saying,
"You can never go home again"?
It started makin' a whole lot of sense
after that weekend.
In the 24 hours I was gone,
Dale had ditched out on his bail
and was hidin' out with Max,
who'd gotten off for lack of evidence,
and I bet was sweet on Dale.
My ma, she would hardly
get out of bed anymore.
Show me some proof.
Damn it, Emmett, I warned you.
What?
Betty, what's wrong with my ma?
Come here. Sit down.
Oh, fuck.
Listen, Emmett, this is all hush-hush-
double-pinky-swear kinda shit, okay?
Your momma tried to rob my bank.
Now I covered for her,
but she came in there
and made a circus out of it.
Fuck you, Betty.
What's really wrong with her?
Well, there's all kinds
of things really wrong with her, Em.
Why's she so sick all the time?
Maybe it's best if you ask her
about all that yourself, okay?
- You know she won't tell me.
- Oh, lord, Em.
Fuck.
Okay. Well...
All I know is that this lady came by here
rantin' and ravin',
and she's the one who told me,
so I only know it from her.
It's somethin' wrong with her lungs.
Stuff's growin'... up in there.
But, baby, all I know
is that the next time I saw her,
she was askin' for money
like her life depended on it.
And I tried like hell to help her,
but she screws things up all the time.
But that's not your fault.
You gotta live your life now.
I need some money.
It's just things are...
...well, kinda tight for me right now.
It's the moment a lot of people
have been waiting for.
It's a big day along the boardwalk.
The Governor and Sheriff Tipton
are expected to arrive any moment
to address the crowd.
A lot of the streets downtown
are blocked off
and the state right now has been...
I'd be lyin' if I said
I hadn't thought about it
a million times before,
every time I put that money
in the slot at night.
One day's take is all I needed
to be home free.
Get Jessie. Get my mom a doctor
out in California.
And hell, I knew better than anybody
that Labour Day was the busiest day
of the year.
I got it, honey. Half hour. Go.
Get outta here.
And where
would everybody be lookin'?
At the future president.
So I figured,
if you're gonna do it,
may as well do it right.
Hey.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Mrs. Tipton, your dress is as good as new.
I'm going down to the stage, yeah.
You need anything?
No, I... I think we're all right.
Thanks, Max.
Ah, maybe I'll get you a surprise anyway.
Goodbye.
- Bye, Max.
Shin-Lee?
Yes, Mrs. Tipton?
What do they say about me?
Roseanna, in a little town,
everybody has too much to say.
Don't worry yourself.
Are they... jealous?
No.
Is it my personality?
Shin-Lee, please tell me.
We gotta hurry.
I can't be late back from my break.
I can't talk,
otherwise they'll know it's me, so...
- Can you read this?
- Yeah.
I'm not a complete fuckin' idiot.
The Sheriff's Patrol have a gift
for somebody like that.
And that's a one-way ticket
to the county jail.
She having his baby.
We're here at the boardwalk,
where hundreds of people
are anxiously awaiting the governor.
We've just got word that he is on his way.
He will be speaking here,
along with Sheriff Tipton,
who's running for State Senate.
A local band is here...
Why...
Tipton, go to hell!
Tipton, go to hell!...
Hi.
Where's your friend?
You wanted both of us?
I don't know.
Can you do it alone?
Well, are we... doing
official church business... for real?
What'd you think I was callin' you for?
Hanky-panky?
Tony always tended bar.
Across a crowded floor.
They worked from 8 till 4
Oh, my God. Holy lord.
Put the money in the bag!
At the Copa Copacabana
Copacabana.
The hottest spot north of Havana
Here.
At the Copa Copacabana
That's it. Move your ass.
Music and passion...
Yeah. Where's the rest, asshole?
There's no money yet.
Not in here.
Make a drag.
Drop. Make a drop.
Now, asshole.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the governor of this great state...
It's best if it's nice and quiet.
Well, you know what's best.
Wilma!
- You ready for my break?
- You need to make a deposit now.
- But I've gotta do my count first.
- No.
Wilma, don't worry about counting it today.
What the hell do you mean?
I'm gonna make a drop, baby.
Come on! Tipton, go to hell!
Look out, look out.
Oh, my God! They've got a gun!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, they've got a gun!
Shit.
Dale?
- Drop your weapon.
- Hold it right there!
Drop it!
Oh, fuck, I'm bleedin'!
We have a shot fired
on the boardwalk.
Shot fired at the suspect.
Max...
Dear Heavenly Father,
we come today
and ask you for a blessing...
Oh, God! No, please.
Get in the closet. Now!
Get in.
- What the hell are you doin' in my dress?
- Nothin'.
It's a misunderstandin'.
What the hell kinda misunderstandin',
Emmett?
V?
There's 100 cops swarmin' outside.
What the hell's going on? I.
- Hold on, Betty.
Emmett, give me my gun.
Emmett! Give me my gun
and go take my dress off right now!
Hello?
Hey.
Did you tell somebody
about, you know...
What? About what?
That's right, V.
Now, what the hell are you gonna do?
I don't know. Uh...
Well, Emmett just came home...
and he's locked a Mormon boy
up in the closet.
Oh, shit, V. You have a hostage?
Wait. Hold on. I got another call.
Who is this?
It's Virginia. Who's this?
This is Officer Lee.
I'm right outside.
Are you alone in there?
Uh...
Not really.
Who else is in there?
- Ma'am.
- Uh...
Well... for starters...
...there's a...
a Mormon boy in my closet.
Can you call me back in five minutes?
I got someone on the other line.
What the fuck did you do?
We just gotta get out back.
I know a way they won't catch us.
Oh, fuck.
Em. Emmett.
We're gettin' out of here.
Virginia, send out whoever you got in there
or we're gonna have to come inl
Go close up my suitcase.
I can't get the lock to lock. Go on.
The governor has left town
and will not be attending
the local Labour Day barbecue
as planned.
Police have shut down the stage area
of the boardwalk indefinitely.
Now we're also hearing
that police have surrounded
a small home near Oceana.
Mom?
Hi. Give me your clothes, quick like.
Come on, take 'em off.
If you could, my son's here now too,
so... I was wondering if, uh...
Hey.
Those underwear.
Those are the magic blessed kind, right?
- They're not really magic.
- Bull. You give me those, too. Come on.
So I was just wonderin'...
'Cause he's here now, my boy, um...
...do you think you could say
a little prayer for him, too?
Yes, ma'am.
- Okay. Thank you.
Okay, now put this on your head.
Here's your tape.
You tape it around the neck
so it don't come off.
Put those on. That's your disguise.
- You need to put some shoes on.
- No, Emmett.
You put his clothes on.
Emmett, do as I say.
Emmett, do as I say.
Emmett, listen to me.
Come here.
You put his clothes on right now.
You stop it!
You put those Mormon clothes on!
I was just trying to get us what we need
so we can get to San Fran and...
That is not your job! That is my job!!!
You're puttin' it in my face,
just like every other fucker
out there puts it in my face!
I know I'm a shit-ass mom!
I know that already!
No, you're not.
Don't you make me swat you again.
You put those goddamn clothes on.
Magic underwear first.
And dear Lord,
please let each of us
come out of this in one piece.
- And let our travels be safe.
- That's it.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Amen.
Virginia,
pick up the phone.
The Sheriff wants to talk to you.
Hello?
Hello, Virginia.
Well, it's been a long time, Dick.
I've been...
meaning to call you.
Virgin... Virginia, what's going on?
Oh... this and that.
I became a real Mormon for you.
How about you?
Virginia, I need you to let
whoever you've got in there come out.
Will you do that for me?
I wanna see you, Dick.
How about you come in here
and talk with me for a little bit?
Yeah, as soon as they...
Y'know, as soon as they come out,
we'll sit down and talk for a while.
Did you miss me?
Yeah. Yes, I did.
I've been thinkin' a lot
about our future heaven babies.
I've decided they should be yellow.
Not like Shin-Lee-at-the-cleaners yellow,
real yellow,
like canaries. Okay, Virginia.
We'll talk all about it
as soon you let everyone go.
Okay.
Give me a minute.
Yeah, one minute.
Hand me my purse.
You will be careful with yourself,
won't you?
Yes.
Can I throw that away?
- I don't wanna do it like this.
- You gotta get out of here, Emmett.
We'll figure out the rest of it later, okay?
Where do we meet up?
Head out to California with your girl.
Find my sister,
go take pictures on that Golden Bridge
in San Francisco.
You can mail 'em back to Betty
and she'll find me, okay?
When are you comin'?
I'm comin' real soon.
You just let that girl of yours
take care of you a little for now, okay?
You've earned that.
I'll catch up.
- I don't want to.
- Emmett...
If anything ever happened to you,
then I just might as well be dead.
Do you hear me?
So don't be a hero.
I want you to go out there
and I want you to make a break for it
as soon as the coast is clear, okay?
Okay.
Now...
I made us some egg-salad sandwiches
for the trip.
They're in the luggage.
You can eat mine, too.
I love you, Mom.
I love you.
We're peas and carrots, you and me.
Peas and carrots.
Okay.
Now you get outta here.
Hey, let's go.
Don't do it, Dick-lick.
Cut it out.
Go ahead, 413.
We have a deceased white female.
Request coroner on the scene.
Copy that, 413. 1428.
All the police and reporters
were too busy lookin' at my mom,
the lady everybody thinks
kept the governor
from stickin' around for a barbecue.
I just started runnin'
towards Jessie's house.
I just wanted to see her one more time.
But it looks like they'll be
getting me now, too.
- Keep those cameras away.
- Yes, sir.
Willie...
Did the Mormons have it right
about me going to heaven?
I got baptized by the Catholics,
and saved by the Baptists, too,
so that's gotta count for somethin'.
I fucked up again, Willie.
He's the only thing
I ever wanted to do right in my whole life.
I fucked him up.
No.
You know what I think?
I'd say that...
for the next 30 minutes,
Mr. Sheriff Tipton...
is gonna look like a good lawman.
Lawman with heart.
And all those reporters
are gonna head over to his house,
where the governor
was supposed to have his barbeque,
and they're going to find his wife
high as a kite,
and she is gonna be spreadin'
those dirty pictures
all over the front lawn.
And your boy...
...he's gonna be all right.
Yes. Yes, he is.
And those two love birds
are gonna get a place together
right out there by the ocean,
right up under that Golden Bridge,
and make perfect, happy babies.
Lots of 'em.
How's that sound?
How about you...
How about you try
and get some sleep now?
Okay.
You did fine today.
Just fine.