Waterhole #3 (1967)

I'll tell you a story that's never been told
of raping and killing and government gold
The place: Arizona
the year: '84
Sit back and I'll tell you some more
A 30-year captain just earning his pay
Was moving a shipment of bullion that day
While men without honor were waiting to test
the unwritten code of the West
It's the code of the West
You must honor your neighbor
The code of the West
To your own self be true
The code of the West
You must do unto others
Do unto others
before they do it unto you
That's the code of the West
Time to close up the shop, shoemaker.
All right, come on, come on.
In your hole, rabbit.
Men.
Sgt. Foggers, we can't spare any men
to help you because of the war games.
Besides, they'd just attract attention.
You keep a weather eye
and you'll be relieved at first light.
- Now do your duty.
- Sir...
the Army's my home and I would protect
my home with my life.
I got it.
Watch yourself!
That's a lot of gold for one inside man to guard.
That's a lot of soldier, Corporal.
Well, I still say it's a lot of gold, sir.
Firm up, Corporal. We're not civilians.
Giddyup.
- Get out of there.
- Quick, rabbit.
Sweet yellow, sweet yellow
Sweet tangerine gold
You make a man fever You make a man bold
Okay, boys. This is where we lose each other.
Why don't we bury that shoemaker in the shaft?
No, we can't do that.
He's our alibi if things go good.
- He's an alibi?
- Yeah, it's his tunnel.
Yeah, but that don't make me any less a deserter.
You ain't no deserter. You're his hostage.
You cannot dispose of my life
like it was a chess piece!
You do everything right and you've got some hope.
You do anything wrong
and I'll guarantee you pain.
Do you understand pain?
Yes.
- We'll divvy now, huh?
- No.
The gold stays with me until I bury it.
- It does?
- Yeah, it does.
Settle down. You two are gonna spoil everything.
How do we find you?
We'll meet in Dolores.
I'm gonna take this gold and I'm gonna
bury it and I'm gonna make a map...
and I'm gonna get word to you later.
That's all right with me.
It'll be nice and cool in Dolores
in a couple of weeks. Right, Hilb?
I may get there just a little earlier.
If you do, just don't let me see you.
So the town of Dolores
that morning in May
was in for an infamous day
Damn, we rode her rough.
Yes, sir.
You're not paying attention, Jay.
This game is called Find the Black Lady.
Where is she?
You're not watching right.
Use those eyes of yours. Here we go.
Pick her out.
Turn it over.
That's the lady right there.
When do the girlies get here?
By golly, you'd have won
that one, soldier, if you'd been playing.
Come on, Jay. Get in here
before he comes and gets me.
I got her this time, Lewt.
Well, let's make this
a little interesting. Say...
for a glass of ice-cold milk?
You're on.
Hot diggity damn!
Jay, what's this?
I thought milk was only $3 a glass.
It was, until the dairy got rustled.
Deal them up.
Look for the lady.
One more time, you hear?
- Mr. Cole.
- Mr. Quinlen.
- Now, did you take my wallet?
- I did.
Been holding that marker of yours
so long the name was getting faint on it.
Mr. Cole, you took too much.
I took too much?
Well, sorry, I only counted it once.
Now, if you'd just give me the $20...
Let's just say
we'll call that interest on your debt.
Let's say we don't!
That's gonna pay for your funeral, thief.
Come on, Doc. What the hell?
The next thing you know, we'll be having
a shootout at sundown or something.
You said it. You heard him say it.
Doc.
Hey, Doc, man...
Be there.
You opened your mouth to the wrong man, Lewt.
He'll cut you pocket-high
as soon as you start to reach.
It does look like I stepped in it a bit,
doesn't it?
Find that lovely black young thing.
Damn!
Well...
I'm closing my little shop, boys.
Hey, come on. Here, have a drink, come on.
No.
It's not my day.
Come on, gambler.
Let's play again, one more time.
How much you got there?
I got $20 of yours. Give me.
Come on, give me.
$60.
Jay, would you get me about that much
of that good stuff you got down there?
$60.
- Well, what have I got to lose?
- $60.
Are you sure you want to do this?
All right. Watch for that lovely black thing.
Watch the lady.
Cole! Lewton Cole!
Lucky in cards, unlucky in love.
Is that what you want, boys?
Don't spend it all in one place, now.
Damn it, Cole! Get out here.
Buy the boys a drink.
You're yellow, Cole.
Let's get on with it.
You don't draw with a stranger
if he's faster than you
You've sung your last ditty
you've kissed your last pretty
and played your last hand if you do
When fate is the dealer
you raise or you call
A chance-taking man plays the cards as they fall
A map worth a killing
is worth tracking down
So off to Integrity town
Right flank! Forward!
The flash powder they use made me all
squinty-eyed. Do you see that picture?
Of course, they didn't do
too much better by old Twostones here.
I sure don't like him.
Then don't vote for him.
Yeah.
Now that Riderra gold robbery
they're talking about here...
if them U.S. Marshals would take any advice...
they'd look for that there shoemaker
down in Mexico.
Why, that Ortiz government down there...
they'd make a deal for your teeth
if there was gold in them.
That's about the way I think about it, too, John.
You did?
I guess we both figured it right, then.
I wish there were some bank robbers
up around here for us to chase after.
You done scared them all away
by bringing them back dead.
Well, that's the way
they wanted them: Dead or alive.
On that last job, though,
you only brought back half the loot.
Half is better than none, ain't it?
Know something, Tippin?
You probably wouldn't believe this...
but I once had a gold robbery in the works.
- I mean me, I was gonna do it.
- What happened?
I had to give it up when I was elected sheriff.
Started to believe my own slogans.
But I'm gonna tell you, if this job wasn't
so sweet and soft, why...
I might just elect to follow
the criminal profession.
You'd be real good, too, John.
Much obliged.
Hi, Sheriff. Say, I'm looking for a horse.
- I can see that.
- Whose horse you looking for?
Mine was pulled up lame yesterday...
and I'm heading out for a long ride
and looking for a good horse.
I ain't in the horse business, friend.
The best horse in the whole county...
is in a barn over at the other side
of Lone Tree Fork.
Belongs to the Sheriff here.
Ain't that right, John?
If you're talking about old Blue,
he ain't for sale.
Toppy kind, eh? Good rein on him?
Best damn rein in the county.
He ain't for sale, that's all.
See, if he ain't for sale, what that means
is that he ain't gonna sell him to you.
Ain't that right, John?
Good size, too?
He's the tallest, the strongest,
the fastest, and the ain't for sale-est.
Damn.
What the hell?
Say, that there's my "Out to Lunch" sign
and I ain't out to lunch.
In the cell, boys. Come on.
He's the one that's
on the poster outside, ain't that right?
Hold them up now.
Lewton Cole, a criminal.
Ain't that right, John? That's him.
- What's this mean, Cole?
- So I'll know where you're at.
- Where's the keys?
- Wait a minute.
If you think you're gonna lock me
in my own zoo, you're badly mistaken.
A set of keys is a small thing
to die over, don't you think?
- I don't remember where them keys are.
- He does remember.
That's what he meant to say.
They're right over there on the hat rack.
Thank you, Deputy.
Now, you're in a lot of trouble
and I'm warning you...
if you do a thing like this,
I ain't gonna show you no mercy.
Take off your clothes, Sheriff.
- Do what?
- Take off your clothes.
You mean you want for us
to take off everything that we got on?
Down to the last single stitch.
Put them in nice, neat little piles
right there on the floor.
Why are you doing this terrible thing to me?
- A naked sheriff makes a slow posse.
- Damn!
Top of everything else, Cole, you're
contributing to indecent exposure.
Damn.
Being found locked naked in your own jail...
in election year...
to be too noisy about it might be bad politics.
Damn!
Bye-bye.
Damn!
He sure left us bare, ain't that right?
Three more eggs?
Francisco!
A yellow-haired woman is early to bloom
Francisco!
Her laughter is roses
Damn!
Her smile is perfume
But the child of a lawman
can die on the vine
with no man to take of her wine
- Well...
- All right, what are you doing here?
- Putting on my pants.
- What do you want?
I was gonna get on this big black horse
and ride him out of here, but...
Look, I'm not alone.
You mean Francisco? Sleeping in the shade.
Besides, what's he gonna do?
Challenge me to a duel?
Take a poke at me or something?
I outweigh him. He might take a shot at me...
but he don't have no gun.
Well, my daddy does.
And he's the sheriff of this county.
Yeah, I know. I seen him.
You must take after your mama.
You're gonna have to take it.
Don't make me.
You gotta cock it to shoot me.
See, now it's on safety.
You gotta pull it all the way back.
Bastard.
Now I had no control over that.
Now, easy now. You're supposed
to wear yourself out loving, not fighting.
No, you can't do it this way.
Slow. Easy.
It's the code of the West
You don't leave for tomorrow
The code of the West
What can be done today
The code of the West
It's a true fact of living
What's lovingly given
will lovingly come back your way
Francisco! Where's that Mexican?
Francisco! Come on, Pancho,
get up out of there! Come on!
Now get them guns and that tack off
of that mule and get them on Big Blue...
and I want Billee's sorrel, too.
The sorrel is not shod yet.
All right.
I'll pick up a relief horse going south.
My posse's halfway into Mexico by now.
- Hey, patrn.
- What?
- Where'd you get these clothes?
- I got them at the undertaker's.
- Go on in there and get Big Blue.
- Daddy, Big Blue's...
No, don't interrupt me now, Billee.
I'm on a case.
You look like a mess. What happened to you?
- You all right, ain't you?
- No.
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
- I ain't got no time to fool around.
- Wait a minute.
I think he raped me.
Who? Francisco?
- Daddy!
- Well, who then?
He's big and tall...
- and mean and cruel...
- I didn't see nobody coming up the road.
- Where'd he go?
- Right into the desert.
Patrn, Blue is gone!
What do you mean, gone?
I tried to tell you he took Blue, too.
No, he ain't gone. He...
He took Blue with him? He took that horse?
He took that...
Wait a minute.
Was your man wearing a gambler's coat
and a little brown vest?
- Part of the time.
- Yeah. Cole.
That man must hate me personal.
What'd he go out there for? There ain't
nothing in the desert but desert.
That's where he went.
All right, get that gear on that mule.
Take my Big Blue out in that desert.
- Daddy, is that all you care about?
- I'll make it up to you.
You gotta remember, a man picks
his pleasure from the nearest tree.
If you weren't my own daughter, I'd...
I mean there's worse things.
He could have killed you. Now that'd
have been worse, wouldn't it? I think.
- You bring him back.
- Yeah, I'll bring him back.
My election to a third term as sheriff
depends on it, and my honor.
Your honor?
Darling, I can only keep my mind
on one offence at a time.
The desert was losing its fight with the sun
As Cole stopped for water at Hole Number 1
Just what was he chasing?
He'd sure like to know
But he still had him two holes to go
The code of the West
Show your backside to evil
The code of the West
Give the Devil his due
The code of the West
You gotta do unto others
Do unto others
before they do it unto you
Now raping and killing ain't really so bad
But stealing old Blue
now that made Sheriff John mad
You don't help yourself to the eggs in the nest
of a man with a badge on his vest
There's two waterholes to go.
We're gonna get him at one of them.
You want any?
Well, it ain't too bad.
It ain't gonna get any better
at the next one, either.
Poor tumbleweed stumbling from boulder to stone
Your permanent address is "places unknown"
You eat when you're hungry
you drink when you're dry
If wishes were eagles
you'd fly
Rest your head on your saddle
Damn.
Dream of fortune and fame
When the wind's in the willow
a girl hugs her pillow
and wishes that she knew his name
Okay, baby, good boy.
Damn, mule, I wish you hadn't done that.
Hold still now, mule. Damn it, hold still!
Up, show me the goodies.
Morning, Sheriff.
Kind of cold in there, ain't it?
Well, it's a little chilly. Not too bad, though.
You're going for that gun, are you?
I wish you would go for it.
Please, go for it.
I don't need to now, Sheriff. I got all of yours.
Damn.
"Property of the U.S. Army."
What's in it? General Grant's head?
If I guess right, there's bullion in there.
Riderra robbery?
If it is, there's over 100 pounds
of that fine yellow gold.
- Wait, what are you doing?
- I'm trying to get this thing open.
You just get up out of there. I'll get it open.
- Come on, Sheriff.
- Now do as I say.
Get up and move on over there.
What the hell, Sheriff. I found it.
I get to open it.
Damn! It's gold!
- Damn, it's heavy, isn't it?
- Oh, my.
Damn!
Why didn't you shoot me
a little while ago with that little gun?
Well, Sheriff, I need protection.
This here gold needs my protection, too.
Come on, Sheriff.
Oh, no, boy, we're gonna load it on my horse.
- Your horse?
- Yep.
Yes, of course.
Well, you mind if I put on my dry britches?
You go and put on some dry britches.
Hey, Cole.
What do you reckon the thieves figured
they could get for this gold in Mexico?
What's funny?
I just feel good, that's all, Sheriff. You
don't mind me feeling good, do you?
But in answer to your little question, Sheriff...
I imagine those thieves...
if they got across the river
without sinking too deep in the sand...
and got by those Mexican bandits...
and they knew how to make a deal down there...
I imagine those thieves
might get in upwards to...
$100,000.
You reckon?
I reckon.
Now wait a minute there.
Just give me that stingy little gun. Come on.
How's it look?
Well, Sheriff...
a little touch of gold
always looks good on a man.
I got something that's gonna look good on you.
- What the hell is this, Sheriff?
- Come on, lock them up.
You don't trust anybody, do you?
- What's so funny?
- Because I feel good...
that's what's so funny.
You don't mind if I feel good, do you?
No, but maybe you shouldn't. I just might...
- I might sue you for false arrest.
- Go ahead and do it.
Meantime, go on over there
and lend a hand with that gold. Go on.
- I didn't break any law, Sheriff.
- No?
What about stealing my horse?
I needed that horse to recover the gold.
Locking me in my own jail?
I wanted you behind me.
- Murder?
- Self-defense.
Raping?
Assault with a friendly weapon?
Now, treat a girl tender
she'll preen like a bride
But take her for granted
and she'll come for your hide
She'll shoot off your head
if you leave her behind
And you'll lose your natural mind
- Forget about it. Just forget about it.
- A man can dream, can't he?
A man can dream, but there ain't no use...
'cause even if they don't stretch your neck...
why, you'll probably be wearing
a number into the 20th century.
I got a number for you:
108 pounds of yellow gold in that saddlebag.
- Are you suggesting that you and I...
- Oh, did I suggest?
Show me an honest sheriff
and I'll show you a man without money.
A man with money, he don't touch the principal.
- He don't?
- No. He lives off the interest...
and there'll be lots of interest.
Maybe he'll subscribe
to a little railroad stock or...
cotton futures...
maybe some corn, tobacco, sugar, wheat...
all from his ranch...
where he's got a fancy saloon...
and his own private gambling hall
for a watering hole.
And all them sloe-eyed seoritas just hungering.
After my money.
True, John.
But you'll wear out before you go broke.
You don't know how saddle-sore I am.
Goddamn mule like to killed me
while Cole was riding on you.
Come on over here.
I'm going back, I'm riding back to Durango
where the sun goes down at noon
Oh, girls in the West are the best
to rest with
Durango, Durango, Durango
Cottonseed cake? You ain't got nothing
in here but cow food.
Just keep digging a little deeper.
I packed in kind of a hurry.
- Well, this ain't much better.
- Good enough for me.
It's kind of pretty out there, ain't it?
- That's what it's all about.
- Yeah.
Beautiful.
How come, at your age,
a fellow like you ain't tied down yet?
I was. Once.
What'd you do to her?
I don't know,
just got on separate trains, I guess.
That thing with Billee...
Of course, not being there,
I'll never really know, but...
what was that all about?
Just a hasty love affair.
Nothing got bruised but her pride.
You should've stayed to talk a bit.
I always talk about five minutes before I run.
You left her upside down.
Don't think on it.
Think about something important like...
getting our gold to Mexico.
Need a light?
Oh, the girls in the West are the best
to rest with
Durango, Durango, Durango
Going back, riding back
to Durango
where the sun goes down at noon
Durango, Durango
Ever been to Mexico?
Yeah. I had a leg over the border once or twice.
Yeah, I bet you have.
- Always been wearing that badge?
- No.
We ran cows after that big dry-up in '73.
It was so dry that year, the bushes
was trailing the dogs around.
Yeah. We had some cattle...
till the government started taxing public land.
If it ain't the drought,
the hoof-and-mouth, or blackleg...
it's the government
throwing a hook into everything.
It's some damn thing, always.
- You're right there. Look.
- What?
Hold it!
Get down, quick!
Rabbit, get their guns.
Check their vests and coats out good.
That there's only a watch.
- It's only a watch.
- I want it!
You got 50 pounds of gold
and you want a $1 watch?
I want it!
Drop them guns or I'll kill you.
What're you doing now?
What do I always do when I cock my guns?
You're going to shoot everybody.
That's murder. They might send us back
from Mexico for that.
- He knows everything, that shoemaker.
- What do we care?
We'll be swapping tequilas with Ortiz
at the Presidential Palace.
He killed Quinlen.
You should thank him. You get a bigger cut.
Now you see how everything works out?
Not that it matters,
but how did you know about Quinlen?
Got time for a long story, Sergeant?
No. Cuff them.
Cuff them, shoemaker. Come on!
- Where is the key?
- It's in the hatband.
- On their ankles.
- On their ankles, shoemaker!
I'll get the gold.
- We'll divvy it.
- Why not?
Turn around, close. Come on!
- Hilb! Tie their hands with this.
- Right.
Sweet yellow, sweet yellow
Sweet tangerine gold
You make a man fever You make a man bold
You're warm like a woman
a treasure to hold
Sweet yellow, sweet tangerine gold
It kind of makes your tongue coat up, don't it?
Yours is still on the horse.
- What's that?
- My old outfit.
Bye, now.
Our gold?
Shoemaker, get the mule.
We're through with him, ain't we?
Now you think a minute.
We let him go in Mexico.
- Right.
- Right.
As we say in the Cavalry:
Without a horse, a man's afoot.
You make a man fever
You make a man bold
Sweet yellow, sweet tangerine gold
And there was this $20 bill
with a bunch of doodling on it.
I didn't know what it was...
until old Quinlen made it important
by not letting me go without a shootout.
Yeah, so you went and sneaked off a shot at him.
Never would've met you if I hadn't.
Let's try to get our legs up.
You ran out of town
and let yourself get accused of murder.
What'd you do that for?
I don't know. I guess I was...
I was just in a hurry to see what
this man was so willing to die over.
Let's get up.
The way it will work out,
you're gonna be a hero, I suppose...
and I'm gonna be the town jackass.
Don't worry, we'll figure out a story for you.
Will you get your damn finger out from
under there so I can get under the knot?
- How's that?
- No.
What're you doing?
- Billee!
- Hello, there.
Well, now, look at that.
That's something you don't see every day.
Two big men, way out in the middle
of the desert playing grapple-finger.
Hey, you cut out that smart talk
and get over here and cut us loose!
Maybe.
You get over here and cut us loose now!
That's an order!
What do you mean by...
And this one's for you.
True love was never rosy.
I wish you hadn't done that.
I hope that makes you feel better.
You get over here and you cut us loose now.
Look, where you going?
To find me some Indians or some red fire ants!
Now watch your words.
She's a woman, she might do it.
You're the kid with all the words.
What do I tell her?
- Tell her she's pretty.
- You're pretty, Billee!
You got to be honest, John.
I'm being honest. Now, Billee, really!
You're very good-looking up there
when you're mad that way!
Now, Billee, listen to me.
Now listen, see reason.
Billee, now, I promise you this man,
but I gotta have him first!
Now you see that, don't you? It's a point
of honor, it's my bounden duty!
Listen to me!
Now I know I'm a fool and a sinner, but I...
It's only your old dad here
you'd be turning loose if you did it.
She's coming, John. You did good.
That's fine, Billee. That's my girl.
Now, Cole, have you got a knife somewhere?
I have. In my pocket, right there.
Deeper.
- Now...
- No, I'm not uncut yet.
Give me the knife, Billee.
Here now, just hold onto that gun.
There.
Go ahead, it was worth it.
What's your name, anyway?
Quit fooling around.
Here, give me that gun. Take this.
His name is Lewton Cole.
I thought you knew him.
- No, John.
- All right, it's your gun, you do it.
Now don't jerk them reins around that way...
you'll give that horse a leather mouth.
Now bring him over here.
Come on now, Billee. Get down off there.
You're not the only one who'll ride that horse.
Now come on, get off.
- Come on down.
- Hey, put me down!
All right, now you just hold on there a minute.
Get Billee up behind the cantle here.
- Daddy!
- There.
All right, you up behind, Lewt. Come on.
Up behind there.
All right, I'll try to keep
the animal headed straight.
Where we going, John?
Integrity guards the pass to Mexico, don't it?
Our best chance is if they lay over in Integrity.
But what about my rape?
Forget about it. We're after gold.
Billee, this desert at night
really does something to me.
- I should've shot you back there.
- You never would've shot me.
Right in that deep pocket.
What'd you want me to do, anyway,
bring you candies and flowers first?
No, I wanted you to do the decent thing.
Which is what?
If you don't know, what's the use of talking?
- What does that mean?
- Think about it.
Oh, no, we don't want to start thinking about it.
That takes us too far away
from the point of it all.
- What's that mean?
- Think about it.
Well she thought and he thought
And like it or not
the colder she acted
the warmer he got
Has anybody ever said anything about your style?
Ain't that awful?
That's your fault, Cole.
If you hadn't been doing...
what you ought not to,
this never would've happened.
Come on, Billee, get out from under him
and let's get going.
The shoemaker goes with me.
You stay here tonight to protect our flank.
From what?
Now, how do I know?
But I'm not taking any chances,
too many people know about this.
What are we stopping for?
I want to know what's ahead,
and I know the place to find out.
You pick us up at the Mawson Hotel at 5:00 a. m.
I ain't got no watch.
The first light, then.
And no guns.
- Henry.
- Hey, Lavinia.
- I haven't seen you in quite a while.
- I've been busy.
I can imagine.
I only know what I read in newspapers.
- Who's been around?
- Nobody that would interest you.
Looks like you robbed the Army.
- Do I have the house for the night?
- Your credit seems good.
It looks kind of bare in here tonight,
doesn't it?
The town council's out
on a gallop with the Sheriff.
- What sheriff?
- Sheriff Copperud.
It has nothing to do with you, honey.
He's out chasing a man
who locked him in his own jail.
And in a very unusual condition.
All right, girls...
present arms!
Damn! What happened?
It's that damn cheap saddle of yours.
All right, come on, pick her up, Cole.
The action's getting away!
Get the hell off my lawn!
Hey, put me down!
There's old Blue tied up by the hotel.
Put me down!
Put her down, or she'll wake up
the whole neighborhood.
You'll have to tell me why you named her Billee.
Her ma and me was trying to make a boy.
Well, you didn't even come close.
We came out ahead, anyway.
- Who's riding that big black horse?
- I never watch horses.
- Billee, Constable.
- Seen any sign of my deputy, Tippin?
Tippin is with you and the posse.
That ain't funny, George. Now, who's
Smith and Wesson down here?
Smith's a big fellow. Wesson's a little one.
They're in 301 upstairs.
Give me the key to 301. Come on.
- All right, now let me have your guns.
- Guns?
Yeah, bang, bang.
I've got one of the two Colts
taken off John Wesley Hardin...
by Cons. John Selman...
after he shot Hardin behind the right ear...
in the Acme Saloon in El Paso
on a Monday afternoon.
Come on.
This. 32 caliber rimfire Hopkins and Allen...
was almost smuggled in to Bill Longley...
before they hanged him high, October 11, 1878...
at Giddings, Lee County, Texas.
- Does it shoot?
- Beautifully.
Thanks very much, George.
I'll try to return it in the same condition.
Get out of the way there, Billee.
- Daddy!
- You stay down here.
When a showdown's a-coming
When a shootout is due
- I forgot to tell him.
- What?
The big and little one checked in,
stayed enough to spruce up, then left.
Where'd they go?
You know...
- Lavinia's.
- Did I mention the scary one?
Face up to the danger
Throw a slug in a stranger
Before he throws one into you
If they're in there, they're not going anywhere.
If they are in there, they've gotta come out.
They're not here.
The big one and the little one
are at your old watering hole.
Lavinia's. Except for the scary one.
And George saw him come up here,
but he didn't see him go out.
He's gotta be in there still.
What's this Lavinia's?
- It's just a local... It's kind of a club.
- Oh, yeah.
How come George told you and didn't tell me?
You were in a hurry.
Billee, go down and ask George
for the key to 302.
You go down and ask George for the key to 302.
Go on down there like you're told
and get that there key.
She sure moves fine though.
- Look.
- Damn it!
How did you and that Army-hating
sergeant get mixed up together?
You would not believe it.
They used my shoe shop
to tunnel into the Army warehouse...
and then they kept me as a hostage.
You're a real innocent.
I am getting ideas.
- Don't get reckless, Robert.
- Ben.
Ben. Lavinia.
There's hell of a draft through that keyhole.
It's giving me a terrible pain in the eyeball.
- Use your other eye.
- Yeah.
Billee, get your daddy
that chair over there, come on.
- Yeah, thank you very much, Lewton.
- You're welcome, John.
- What'd you tell my daddy?
- About what?
You know.
Oh, that. Well, I told him the truth.
You didn't.
I did. Go over and ask him.
Go on. Ask him.
Daddy, I want to tell you what really happened.
Not now.
Yes, now!
Daddy, don't you care? Doesn't it mean anything?
You reckon he's still in there?
Well, he's not out here.
What have you done to us?
- I believed your eyes, not your words.
- Quiet.
All right, if nobody cares, I don't.
Not now, Cole.
- Ben.
- Yes?
I've got an irresistible urge to tell you
how a nice girl like me got into all this.
If it would make you feel better
to talk about it.
This ain't doing no good.
Come on, let's take him.
- Go ahead.
- I mean it. I'm running out of patience.
You gotta have some first.
Why don't we just wait until we get them
all in one bunch, then make our play?
Maybe you better tell me about that
saloon and living off the interest again.
No time for dreaming now. Besides...
you've got to grow your own dreams.
If you're thinking about giving me
some kind of second card deal...
- Oh, John...
- I wish you wouldn't.
I'm not dealing this hand.
Who is?
When we find that out, we'll know
how to play the game, won't we?
Better stick your eye back
into that keyhole before that...
thing in the next room sneaks off from us.
You gotta do unto others
Do unto others
before they do it unto you
Hold these for me, will you?
Fifi La Flame.
Cole!
Watch yourself, mister!
Why didn't you stop him?
- You got my gun.
- I know it.
My gold! They're gonna get my gold!
How do you feel?
Reckless!
A man can't even get a good night's sleep.
Hilb!
My gold! They're gonna get my gold.
Well, that's it. I got mine.
That's good, now you can help me get mine.
- Good luck, Cole.
- John.
Hell, this hand isn't over yet, is it?
All right, now listen...
there's a front door that way,
back door that way, and some windows.
I've always been rather partial
to front doors myself.
All right.
Go ahead.
No, you don't! That can't be replaced.
I hope you realize you have
to buy the rest of this furniture!
Listen, I've always picked up
my own broken glass.
I didn't think you'd want to put me out
of business, you put so much into it!
That's right, I'm almost a partner.
Listen, you gotta talk the Sheriff out of this.
I can always talk him into things, but I
don't know if I can talk him out of things.
You're almost as anxious
as the first time you came in here!
Don't interrupt me now, Lavinia, I'm on a case.
- Soliciting for the Orphans' Fund again?
- You just stay out of the way.
We've got a real live bear in there.
I've just got to smoke him out.
You take yourself awful serious.
People elect serious men to sheriff for them.
You've got my vote, my money,
and, I thought, my friendship!
What the hell does that mean?
You're about to shoot up our meal ticket!
It's official business.
I'll get the town council
to pay for any refurbishments.
You're an honest man.
That vase was brought around the Horn!
This is a home, not just a house, you bastards!
Hey, wait a minute!
Let's talk a spell, shall we?
Right!
- What do you want to talk about?
- Talk about that there gold.
What's your proposition?
Your life for that gold is the proposition.
- Well?
- Well, I'm thinking about it.
You know how hard I had to work for that gold?
Ain't that terrible, Cole?
Why, in another minute,
he'd have us believing he earned it.
John!
Come on out front!
- Where's that thief?
- Behind that water trough out there.
Let's blow the damn thing up.
Now wait a minute.
Now we ain't doing no good here.
One of us has to go around the back
and flush him the hell out of there.
The other will stay and pick him off.
Somebody's gotta do that, too.
Somebody?
Would you feel better if I went around back...
and flushed him out and
you stayed out here and picked him off?
- Yeah, thanks very much.
- Yeah, all right.
- I'll pick him off.
- Do that.
While Ben was playing steal the gold
and make your getaway
The other three played shoot-'em-up
and turn about's fair play
But Ben had tasted painted lips
and heard the siren's song
So he could hardly keep from going wrong
It's the code of the West
Heed the word of your sisters
The code of the West Make a left turn from sin
The code of the West Keep an eye on temptation
Recite the quotation that says
when Satan calls your name
It doesn't matter how you played
the game 'cause all he cares about
is did you win
Where is he, John?
Behind that there trough.
No, he's not. Where'd he go?
Sergeant, get out of there.
- If you'll just give me...
- Shut up.
Be quiet, Sergeant.
Where's that gold?
Now Cole and John and Henry J.
Were feeling mighty sad
Oh, Blue! He'd let anybody ride him.
To think a little sack of gold
could turn a good man bad
But when you pit the meek and mild
against the brave and bold
The meek inherit all the Army's gold
Wait for me!
Now in the meantime, Billee girl
was scheming on her own
She knew a healthy, sweet young thing
can't live by bread alone
To play the tricky game of life
a woman needs a plan
To play the game of love she needs a man
There, sir.
Well, what have we here?
- Cpl. Blyth.
- Sir.
Put Sgt. Foggers, Henry J.,
U.S. Cav., under arrest immediately.
He was supposed to be guarding the Army's gold.
Sgt. Foggers, Henry J., reporting, sir.
He took me as a hostage
until I got the best of him.
The foreign shoemaker, sir.
- This is just not...
- He did?
Well, it fits. It was his tunnel.
Sgt. Foggers, if this is true,
the Army has lost a deserter...
and gained a hero.
- Cpl. Blyth!
- Sir!
Arrest Lewton Cole for the murder of Doc Quinlen.
Captain, sir.
Self-defense.
You see, Doc Quinlen found out
that I found out...
that shoemaker and him
was planning that whole gold robbery.
I see.
I was forced to do it
in order to save the Army's gold.
Mr. Cole, if what you say is true,
you're in for a nice reward.
Thank you, Captain.
Honest John...
did all this transpire as my sergeant
and Mr. Cole relate?
Yes, Captain.
You might say these men were acting
as my deputies in recovering the gold.
No reward for us professionals, eh, John?
Of course you'll get your recognition
come election time.
- Cpl. Blyth!
- Sir.
Arrest the foreigner.
But I am innocent.
I am the only innocent.
- They all say that, eh, John?
- Yeah, it's shocking.
I was the hostage! I...
Ain't that terrible, Captain?
It is hopeless.
Hopeless?
You're asking me to doubt appearances?
The Army, the law, and professional...
enterprise.
- Cpl. Blyth!
- Sir.
Haul him away. Careful, he's a dangerous man.
No man hauls Ben Agajanian.
I walk free, alone, thank you.
First squad.
Foggers!
Henry J., where's the Army's gold?
It's in the saddlebag, sir.
Get that shoemaker back here!
Get that shoemaker back here!
What a pleasure to see you here, Miss Billee.
Arrest that man.
No. It turns out it was a case of self-defense.
I don't care about that.
He forced his affections on me.
There's not a court
in the land who would convict...
with a ravishing beauty like you for a witness.
And who in the jury wouldn't do
the same thing if given the chance?
Mr. Ben Agajanian...
it's my duty to warn you that anything
you say will be held against you. Now...
where's the Army's gold?
He must've dropped it between here and Integrity.
He must've dropped it between here and Integrity.
Sgt. Foggers, take command of your squad.
- Cpl. Blyth!
- Sir.
Mount up the men.
You must excuse me. I've got to move the men out.
Now wait a minute. Where are you going?
I just thought I'd go get
a little drink of water.
Yeah, well, I'm just as thirsty as you are.
Ben?
Do you trust me?
Now Lewton Cole knew
Billee had some mighty fetching ways
Old Ben would tell her everything
and still get 90 days
Beneath a rock beside the trail
that leads to Mexico
You'll find yourself 100 pounds or so
It's the code of the West
Every girl needs a dowry
Now I've got you, Lewton Cole.
The code of the West
And it don't matter whose
The code of the West
When a girl's pushing 20
She's gotta give plenty
to end up with rice in her shoes
Hello, there, Billee, honey.
You!
What are you doing here?
Why, I've just come looking after you.
You're after the gold.
That, too, but...
what about partners?
What kind of partners?
What kind of partners do you have in mind?
Full-time.
You take me like I am?
Lavinia, I thought you would never get here.
Well, Cole had a few other things left to do
He flowered his Stetson
and boarded old Blue
Hey! Wait a minute. Where you going?
Durango.
That's the way I am. Bye-bye.
The rougher you treat them
the stronger they grieve
You!
And the longer they watch
when you leave
- Where you going?
- Where you heading?
Where the hell is Cole?
- I thought he was with you.
- No, he...
Hey, shoemaker, you going to tell us
where the gold is?
Now, just what's that thing for?
Go and get it, Ben.
- Where is the Army's gold?
- The shoemaker knows where it is, sir.
Where did you put it, Miss Billee?
There he is. That's Lewton Cole!
Old Mexico is just ahead So, gambler, move along
Maybe we take gold too seriously.
There ain't nobody there to care
if you did right or wrong
We don't take gold seriously enough.
You shot a thief, you found some gold
You stole a kiss or two
And the world's a better place because of you
The code of the West When you're drinking tequila
The code of the West
Toast the red, white, and blue
The code of the West Be good to your neighbors
Your new northern neighbors
Remember they were awful good to you
That's the code of the West
That's the code of the West