1
WELL, IT'S GONNA BE
A BIG NIGHT, RIGHT?
I MEAN, HOW MUCH
ARE WE LOOKIN' AT?
I'll give you five a head.
FIVE A HEAD? FUCK YOU!
THERE'S TIKI BARS IN ENCINO
THAT PAY MORE THAN THAT.
WE'RE GONNA PULL OU ON YOU THEN.
HOW ABOUT I GUARANTEE YOU
500 HEADS...
AND YOU FUCKIN' BUMP US UP
TO SEVEN?
You pull 500 girls
into the club,
I'll give you fuckin' head.
Wait, am I on speaker?
YEAH, MY PHONE'S BROKE.
WHAT TIME IS COLE'S SET?
Oh, yeah, Cole.
I got him down at 9:00 pm.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHO'S GOIN' ON AT 11:00?
Uh, uh, DJ Devin
playing at 11:00.
DOES DJ DEVIN HAVE 25 KAPPA
ALPHA ALPHA OMEGA SLUTS
COMING IN
A FUCKING PARTY BUS?
'CAUSE THEY AIN'T GONNA
BE THERE UNTIL 11:00.
YO, BE A FUCKIN' GENTLEMAN,
NICKY.
Be a gentleman?
Fuck you, kid.
11:00.
And fix your Goddamn phone.
ALL RIGHT, BITCH.
GOT YOU, BOO!
UH! PRIME TIME!
YOU KNOW, IT'S A MAJOR NIGH FOR MY BOY, ALL RIGHT?
JUST, YOU KNOW, CUT LOOSE.
BRING WHOEVER.
BRING 'EM ALL, BRING 'EM ALL.
THE GIRL WITH THE DIMPLES.
SEE YOU THEN.
150 HEADS.
NICE, MAN.
NO THANKS.
AND THE SQUIRREL
CAME SCURRYING UP THE TREE.
YO, YO!
GET OUT, I'M DRIVIN'.
WHAT?
GET OUT, I'M DRIVIN'.
GET IN, GET IN,
COME ON.
THERE HE IS.
WEARING A LEATHER JACKE IN THE SUMMERTIME.
AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN.
GOOD GOD.
FIVE, FOUR, THREE...
TWO...ONE.
JAMES REED,
THURSDAYS, SOCIAL.
YOU SHOULD COME OU TO SOCIAL.
JAMES REED
IS HEADLINING.
HOW YOU DOIN'?
DO YOU LIKE ELECTRONIC MUSIC?
YOUR NOSE JOB
LOOKS GREAT.
DO YOU PROMISE?
JAMES REED, SOCIAL, THURSDAYS.
BRING YOUR FRIENDS,
BRING ALL YOUR FRIENDS.
IF THEY LOOK LIKE YOU,
BRING 'EM ALL.
HERE, HERE, ALL YOU GUYS.
GIRL, YOU WANNA COME OU ON THURSDAY?
JAMES REED IS DEEJAYING.
SOCIAL. THURSDAYS.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
OKAY.
HERE, PUT YOUR NUMBER
IN MY PHONE.
IF YOU GUYS BRING
LIKE A COUPLE FRIENDS,
I CAN GET YOU
A FREE BOTTLE.
IT'S COLE, BY THE WAY.
SEE YOU THURSDAY.
I SHOULD'VE GONE
TO COLLEGE.
THIS IS
THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY...
THAT FLAT STRETCH OF LAND
ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS.
OUR GREATEST CONTRIBUTIONS
TO AMERICAN CULTURE
REMAIN THE PORN INDUSTRY
AND DITZY GIRLS...
BUT WE'VE ALSO GO THE BEST SUSHI
IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.
AND IT'S ALWAYS
IN A STRIP MALL. ALWAYS.
THAT'S MY FRIEND MASON'S HOUSE.
AND THAT'S THE POOL HOUSE
IN THE BACK,
WHERE I'VE BEEN LIVING
SINCE I WAS 15.
THAT'S WHERE WE THREW DOWN WITH
SOME PUNKS FROM CANOGA PARK.
NOW I GOT THIS AWESOME SCAR.
AND THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.
SHH.
YO, YO, THE FACT IS THA 99% OF ALL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD,
THEY'RE LOOKIN' FOR A PARTY.
OKAY, AND 1% OF PEOPLE,
THEY ARE THE PARTY.
YOU GOTTA FUCKIN' BE THAT.
YOU KNOW, YOUR BODY'S 85% WATER,
AND I'M THIRSTY. I'M THIRSTY.
THIS ISN'T SOME UNCE-UNCE,
BRIDGE-AND-TUNNEL BULLSHIT.
THIS IS THE BEST DANCE PARTY
IN L.A.
AND THAT GUY RIGHT THERE...
HE'S DEEJAYING.
I'M DEEJAYING.
JUST THE SIDE ROOM, THOUGH.
IT'S JUST THE SIDE ROOM.
THESE DAYS, YOU CAN INVEN AN APP, START A BLOG,
SELL SHIT ONLINE,
BUT IF YOU'RE A DJ,
ALL YOU NEED IS A LAPTOP,
SOME TALENT, ONE TRACK.
THAT TRACK IS YOUR TICKE TO EVERYTHING.
MAN, DEEJAYING, PRODUCING...
LOOK, IT'S HARD.
IT'S A SATURATED MARKET.
YEAH, 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ENOUGH ACTORS IN L.A.
I'M NOT AN ACTOR.
I'M A MOVIE STAR.
THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST...
-THE BEST...
-THE BEST...
-THE BEST NIGHT...
-THE BEST NIGHT...
-BEST...
-NIGHT...
-OF...
-YOUR...
-LIFE.
YOU'RE SO FUCKING PRETTY,
OLLIE. LIKE AN ANGEL.
GET OFF ME,
YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT.
THIS ONE'S OFF BEACHWOOD.
FOUR BEDROOMS,
A PARTY DECK,
200 SQUARE FOO DINING ROOM.
PERFECT FOR ENTERTAINING.
YO, WE CAN TURN THE DINING ROOM
INTO OUR OFFICE.
MASE, DUDE, THE CHEAPEST PLACE
HERE IS SIX GRAND.
I MEAN, YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH
MONEY TO FIX YOUR CAR.
HEY. WITH OLLIE'S DRUG MONEY...
SHUT-
AND OUR NIGHTS AT SOCIAL
BLOWING UP, OKAY...
WE'RE GONNA BE OUT OF THE VALLEY
BY THE END OF THIS SUMMER.
OKAY? AND I FEEL...
LOOK, I FEEL REALLY FUCKING GOOD
ABOUT THURSDAY.
I MEAN, LIKE, SO GOOD,
LIKE WHEN JENNY HAZE
PUT HER FINGER UP MY ASSHOLE,
DUDE. LIKE THAT KINDA GOOD.
- DUDE, THAT WAS YOUR FINGER.
- THAT WAS YOUR FINGER.
I'M PRETTY SURE
SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE.
- JENNA HAZE'S FINGERS.
- LISTEN, BELIEVE IN ME.
BELIEVE 'CAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU.
WHAT'S UP, KIDS?
GOOD TO SEE YOU, BRO.
YOU'RE LOOKIN' SHARP
AS EVER, PAIGE.
YEAH, YOU TOO, MAN.
HEY, YOU KNOW MY BOYS.
SQUIRREL, COLE, AND MASON.
WHAT'S UP? THE YOUNG HUSTLERS
CLUB. I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT.
WE PREFER TO BE CALLED
ENTREPRENEURS, BUT...
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE AN ENTREPRENEUR?
MY KINDA GUY.
YO, PAIGE, MAN,
YOU SHOULD COME
TO THE NEW SPOT, SOCIAL,
ON THURSDAY.
SOCIAL?
I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
YEAH, TAKE CARE OF ME, HUH?
THAT'S RIGHT.
TELL YOU WHAT, WHENEVER
YOU GUYS ARE READY
TO START MAKIN'
SOME REAL LOOT...
YOU NEED TO HOLLER AT ME.
YOU KNOW, BRING THE BOYS.
CAN YOU DO THAT?
THINK ABOUT IT, HUH?
I TELL YOU WHAT, BRUNCH
IS ON ME, ALL RIGHT, FELLAS?
WHAT'S HE TALKIN' ABOUT,
MONEY? WHAT MONEY?
MAN, PAIGE IS
ALWAYS RECRUITIN'.
FOR WHAT? DOESN'T HE,
LIKE, PRODUCE PORN?
NO, HE'S IN REAL ESTATE,
ASSFACE.
CAN HE JUST, WHAT,
GET US A HOUSE THEN?
NO.
WE'RE SITTIN' HERE
TALKIN' ABOUT HOUSES...
NO, NO, NO. HE'S LIKE
A REAL ESTATE BUSINESSMAN.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
OKAY, I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE
WHAT HE DOES, BUT...
HE'S MAKIN' A LOT OF MONEY
DOIN' IT.
OOH.
MASON.
MASON.
I ASKED YOU THREE TIMES
TO WORK ON THAT ROOF YESTERDAY.
THE TOILET'S STILL BROKEN.
OKAY. I'LL FUCKIN'
DO IT LATER.
NOW.
OKAY.
YOU TOO, COLE.
SORRY MY DAD'S
SUCH A DICK.
LATER, POP.
WHOO!
CHEERS.
CHEERS.
ALL RIGHT,
THIS IS FOR YOU, SQUIRREL.
YO, I GOT ONE, I GOT ONE,
I GOT ONE. I GOT ONE.
THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE
WITH ALL YOU GUYS...
THIS IS HONESTLY
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE NIGHT.
IT'S THE MOMEN BEFORE IT STARTS.
MASON! MASON, WHERE'S
MY FIVE-HUNDO, BRO?
YOU SEE THE FUCKIN' LINE
OUTSIDE?
YOU CAN WAIT TO THANK ME TILL
THE END OF THE NIGHT, 'KAY?
HEY, YOU. DO NOT PLAY
ANY OF THE SONGS
ON THAT LIST,
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
SAVE FIREPOWER FOR MR. REED.
WHOO-HOO.
HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.
YOU LOOK SO FUCKING IMPORTAN WITH THAT LIST IN YOUR HAND.
HERE YOU GO.
WHAT'S UP, DEVIN?
WHAT'S UP, COLE?
HOW YOU DOIN'?
I'M GOOD, MAN.
GOOD.
YEAH. WARMING THE ROOM
UP FOR YA.
IT'S ALL GOOD.
THANKS, BRO.
HEY, BUDDY.
ALL RIGHT, HAVE FUN, MAN.
WHAT A DICK.
YO, OLLIE, MY MAIN MAN.
HOW YOU DOIN'?
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. LOOK,
HOOK ME UP WITH ANOTHER ROUND.
I'LL THROW YOU IN A VINE,
I'LL MAKE YOU FAMOUS AND SHIT.
ALL RIGHT, I GOT YOU.
YOU GUYS LET ME KNOW
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, ALL RIGHT?
OFF THE MENU.
HEY, BRO, BRO.
I'M BOYS WITH YOUR FRIEND.
YOU KNOW, OLLIE.
THE PRETTY BOY.
SORRY, KID.
I'M FUCKIN' SORRY.
WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT ABOUT THIS GUY?
YOU KNOW HIM?
DON'T BRO ME
IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
THIS PARTY SUCKS.
L.A.'S DEAD.
- HI, SARA.
- HI, SARA.
HEY, COLE.
CAN YOU PLAY "DRUNK IN LOVE"?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
HEY, SQUIRREL.
I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.
OW!
WHAT THE HELL?
WE GOTTA ROUND UP CHICKS
FOR PAIGE.
LOOKS LIKE
HE'S DOING FINE.
YEAH,
THOSE GIRLS ARE WACK.
ALL RIGHT,
FIND ME SOMETHING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THIS GUY?
THIS GUY?
YEAH.
I THINK HE'S GETTING PAID
TOO MUCH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT HIM?
I THINK HE USED
TO BE GOOD.
BUT NOW I THINK HE JUST GIVES
THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.
HEY, DO YOU WANNA COME SI AT MY FRIEND'S TABLE?
YOU CAN DRINK FOR FREE.
DO YOU PROMOTE HERE?
NO.
MY FRIENDS PROMOTE HERE.
RIGHT.
I KINDA HELP.
WELL, HAVE A NICE NIGHT.
I--
HEY, YOU'RE JAMES REED,
RIGHT?
MM.
YOU SMOKE?
YES, I DO.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
WHAT?
IS THERE TOBACCO IN THAT?
YEAH.
IT'S A SPLIFF.
A SPLIFF?
WHAT ARE YOU, FRENCH?
NO. I'M AMERICAN.
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS
THE MOST IMPORTANT ADVICE
YOU'RE EVER GONNA GET.
NEVER MIX THC WITH NICOTINE.
IT FOGS UP THE HIGH.
IT LASTS LONGER
IF YOU MIX IT.
IT'S NOT ABOU MAKING IT LAST LONGER,
IT'S ABOUT ENJOYING IT.
YOU SPIN HERE REGULARLY?
YEAH.
AND THEY PAY YOU?
MM-MM. NO.
BUT THE DRINKS ARE FREE.
WELL, THAT'S NICE OF 'EM.
DO YOU WANNA GO
TO A PARTY?
WHAT, LIKE NOW?
YEAH. RIGHT NOW.
SHOULD BE FUN.
YEAH.
YOU WANT?
YEAH, SURE.
SO LIKE, WHERE HAVE
YOU BEEN TO SPIN?
OKAY. TOKYO, BERLIN,
FRANKFURT...
BELGIUM...DUBAI, WHICH IS
IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
YEAH, IT'S LIKE VEGAS
OF THE MIDDLE EAST.
IBIZA, MAJORCA, MADRID...
PARIS.
PARIS, THEY GOT SOME
GREAT MUSIC RIGHT NOW.
YO, YOU SEEN COLE?
I CAN'T SAY I HAVE.
THEN WHAT'S THE PLAN?
SEE YOU IN THE MORNIN'.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! EASY.
THAT PAINTING IS
WORTH MORE THAN MY CAR.
JAMES?
MMM?
THIS PAINTING'S ALIVE.
NAH. THAT'S JUS THE PCP TALKIN'.
PCP? OOH.
WELL, I'VE SEEN MANY DOOR GIRLS
IN MY DAY, BUT THIS ONE--
LOOK...I WILL GO HOME
WITH YOU TONIGH UNDER TWO CONDITIONS.
YES.
ONE, YOU UNDERSTAND
THAT IT IS PITY SEX...
AND I WILL NEVER ADMI TO IT.
OKAY.
AND TWO, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP
FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT.
OKAY?
WHERE ARE THOSE NUTS,
SQUIRREL?
WHERE'D YOU HIDE
YOUR FUCKING NUTS?
- IT AIN'T WINTER YET.
- NO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
ME AND JAMES WEN TO A PARTY. I THINK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I LIVE HERE.
OH, MY GOD.
MY BRAIN IS BLEEDING.
MY BLOOD IS GOING TO STAR COMING OUT OF MY EYEBALLS.
YOU LIKE THIS HOMELESS PUPPY
I FOUND?
IS HE HOUSE-BROKEN?
I DON'T KNOW.
CHECK THE RUGS.
I CAN ACTUALLY SMELL THE WHISKEY
FERMENTING ON YOUR SKIN.
OH?
YOU DIDN'T DRIVE HOME
LAST NIGHT, DID YOU?
YOU USED TO SMELL
LIKE FERMENTED LIQUOR, TOO.
COLE, THIS IS SOPHIE,
MY ROLE MODEL.
NICE TO MEET YOU, COLE.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
YOU WERE TALKING A BIG GAME
LAST NIGHT, KID.
I WAS?
YOU WERE SAYING HOW
ALL YOU NEED IS ONE TRACK...
YOU WERE GONNA CONTROL
PEOPLES' HEARTS...
YOU WERE GONNA FLY
AROUND THE WORLD.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO DRINK WHISKEY.
OR TAKE PCP.
UH...
DO YOU HAVE ANY ASPIRIN?
WE HAVE TONS OF ASPIRIN,
BUT I'M NOT GIVIN' YOU SHIT...
TILL YOU PLAY ME SOMETHING.
YOU HAVE TRACKS
ON YOUR PHONE, RIGHT?
OKAY. IT'S NOT REALLY
MORNING MUSIC.
OH, WELL, THAT'S OKAY
BECAUSE IT'S 12:30.
IT'S 12:30?
I'M JUST GONNA
SKIP AHEAD.
IT'S FUN.
FUN?
I AM GONNA POUR MYSELF
A DRINK...
BEFORE THIS HANGOVER
GETS REAL.
SOPH, CAN WE GET COLE
AN UBER?
UM...
I CAN GIVE HIM A RIDE.
I HAVE SOME ERRANDS TO RUN,
SO...
GREAT! I'LL BE HERE,
FESTERING SLOWLY.
YOU KNOW,
JAMES IS A SNOB.
HE'S REALLY HARD
ON EVERYONE, SO...
DON'T WORRY.
IT'S COOL.
IT'S NOTHING.
STANFORD, HUH?
THAT'S A NICE SCHOOL.
DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE?
NO.
I COULD'VE GONE
TO COLLEGE.
MMM.
COULD'VE RUN TRACK
AT UC DAVIS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU?
WELL, SCHOOL'S
A WASTE OF TIME.
IT CAN BE...
IF YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING
BETTER WITH YOUR TIME.
CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS
JUST LEFT ME
ABANDONED THERE
WITH SARA.
DICKS.
SHE DID UNSPEAKABLE THINGS.
THIS FUCKIN' BEAT MY ASS.
I THOUGHT I WAS STRONG, MAN.
GIRL WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL ME
LATER. IT'S WHATEVER.
GENTLEMEN...
YOUR EARNINGS.
HEY, HEY.
THERE IT IS.
200 BUCKS?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, MAN?
WE BROUGHT IN 560 PEOPLE
LAST NIGHT.
WE BROUGHT IN 562.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE POINT OF
THIS. WE BRING IN 500 HEADS--
I'M GONNA FUCKIN' MURDER
THAT CHEESE-DICK.
MOTHERFUCKER!
LOOK, I JUST READ
ABOUT THIS GUY, RIGHT,
WHO INVENTED INSTAGRAM.
HE SOLD IT FOR $400 MILLION.
SO?
MAN, HE WAS 26 YEARS OLD.
I MEAN, HE SPENT THE NEX FUCKING YEAR OF HIS LIFE
FLYING AROUND THE WORLD,
TAKING PICTURES OF HIS
GIRLFRIEND ON DIFFERENT BEACHES.
KEVIN SYSTROM.
WHAT?
IT'S KEVIN SYSTROM, THE GUY
WHO INVENTED INSTAGRAM.
HIS NAME IS KEVIN SYSTROM.
FUCK KEVIN SYSTROM.
DUDE, I LIVE FOR THURSDAYS.
THE CLUB IS MY THING.
YEAH, MAN, I'M NOT SAYING
WE SHOULD QUIT ALTOGETHER,
BUT AREN'T YOU TIRED
OF TAKIN' TAXIS
BACK FROM FUCKIN' SILVER LAKE
EVERY NIGHT?
I'M TIRED OF TAKING SQUIRREL'S
MOM'S FUCKING STATION WAGON.
OKAY, I'M TIRED OF DRIVING
YOUR BUM ASS AROUND.
I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOU JERKING
OFF FIVE FEET FROM MY PILLOW.
OH, MAN, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
GET TIRED OF THAT EVER.
YOU GUYS WANNA MAKE REAL MONEY?
OR YOU WANNA FUCKIN' LIVE
AND DIE IN THE VALLEY?
LOOK, I HAVE AN IDEA.
IN MY LIFE,
I DO NOT RELY ON ANYTHING
THAT'S NOT CONCRETE.
ALL THIS ABSTRACT,
COMPUTERIZED, DIGITIZED,
ON PAPER BULLSHIT.
IT'S FOR PUSSIES.
FUCK A DIAMOND,
THAT SHIT'S FOREVER.
HI, MRS. HENDERSON?
HI, I'M CALLING FROM GOLD STAR
REALTY SOLUTIONS.
HI, MY NAME IS COLE. I'M CALLING
FROM GOLD STAR REALTY SOLUTIONS.
THIS IS A LIST OF HOMEOWNERS
IN THE AREA
THAT ARE IN THE UNFORTUNATE
POSITION OF FACING FORECLOSURE.
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD TALK
TO A MR. STEIN?
MR. STEEN?
SO WE'RE COLD-CALLING
PEOPLE?
NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU ARE CALLING
PEOPLE WHO ARE IN NEED
WITH THE SOLUTION
THAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.
WHEN YOU CALL THESE PEOPLE,
YOU'RE CALLING AS THEIR FRIEND.
WE CHARGE $5,000 TO NEGOTIATE
THEIR FORECLOSURES
WITH THE BANKS.
EVERY DEAL YOU CLOSE...
I GIVE YOU 15%.
WELL, THAT'S LIKE SIX--
$750.
BOOM.
GOOD FUCKIN' MATH, KID.
NOW, TO RESTORE YOUR FAITH
IN HUMANITY,
LET ME BREAK YOU OFF SOMETHIN',
REAL PROPER LIKE.
WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM, BOYS.
HOLY SHIT!
THAT'S LIKE 1,000 BUCKS,
AT LEAST.
SMELL IT. SMELL IT. SMELL IT.
LET'S DO THIS,
LET'S DO THIS.
COME ON,
IT'S A GOOD THING.
SO, DAD...
ME AND COLE, WE'VE BEEN
MAKING SOME MONEY,
AND I THOUGHT MAYBE
WE COULD INVEST IN THE ROOF
AND SOME FLOORS
AND WE COULD HAVE
THIS FUCKIN' HOUSE
READY TO SELL BY WINTER
FOR SURE.
HELLO?
Yo, San Fernando!
It's James.
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
What are you doing Saturday?
NOTHIN'.
NOTHIN', WHY?
You wanna make some cash?
DOIN' WHAT?
YES, BUT ITALY,
IF THEY COULD ONLY
PULL TOGETHER SOME
KIND OF A NEW PHILOSOPHY.
I MEAN, ONE AMERICANS
WILL WATCH--
HEY, CAN YOU PLAY
"DRUNK IN LOVE"?
UH...
PLEASE.
YEAH, SURE,
I'LL TRY TO WORK IT IN.
FOR YOU, SIR. FROM JAMES.
WHAT, ARE YOU LIKE
HIS SECRETARY NOW?
HIS ASSISTANT, ACTUALLY.
WHAT, YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED.
WOW.
OH, I'M SORRY,
WERE YOU TRYING TO TELL HER
ALL ABOUT THE FREE DRINKS
YOU CAN GET HER ON THURSDAYS?
WHAT'S IN THERE?
ROS?
HERE.
CLUB SODA.
WITH CRANBERRY.
VERY STEALTH.
HEY, YOU KNOW, THIS PARTY IS
LOOKING A LITTLE STIFF, COLE.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
I NEED TO AMP IT UP?
YOU COULD TRY,
BUT THIS CROWD DOESN' DANCE BEFORE MIDNIGHT.
OKAY.
ROCKING A PARTY, STEP ONE.
SO IT'S THE DJ'S JOB TO GE THE CROWD OUT OF THEIR HEADS
AND INTO THEIR BODIES.
SO IN ORDER TO DO THAT,
YOU NEED, AT THE VERY LEAST...
A CURSORY KNOWLEDGE
OF MATHEMATICS...
AND THE BROAD STROKES
OF NINTH GRADE BIOLOGY.
FOR EXAMPLE...
THE BASELINE CONTROLS
THIS REGION OF THE BODY
RIGHT HERE.
THE MOST IMPORTANT REGION.
THERE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE
RESISTANCE.
SO YOU GOTTA BE PATIENT.
LOOK FOR THAT ONE PERSON WHO'S
NOT AFRAID TO JUST GO FOR IT.
NEXT YOU WANT TO ZERO IN
ON THEIR HEARTBEATS.
I LIKE TO START 'EM OFF
AT ABOUT 120 BEATS PER MINUTE.
THAT'S EQUIVALEN TO THE HEARTBEA OF A LONG-DISTANCE RUNNER.
YOU SEE, BPM IS THE NAME
OF THE GAME.
ABOUT 60 BPM.
DUBSTEP IS ACTUALLY
140 BPM CUT TO HALF SPEED.
IT ENDS UP BEING ABOUT 70 BPM.
HOUSE IS AROUND 110 TO 130 BPM.
NOT SURE HOW YOU DANCE TO THAT.
ONCE YOU'VE LOCKED ON
TO THEIR HEART RATE,
YOU START BRINGING THEM UP
SONG BY SONG.
THERE'S A POPULAR MYTH THAT 128
BEATS PER MINUTE IS THE RATE
THAT SYNERGIZES MOS WITH YOUR HEARTBEAT.
THAT'S THE MAGIC NUMBER.
ONCE YOU'VE GOTTEN
YOUR CROWD THERE,
YOU'RE CONTROLLING THEIR ENTIRE
CIRCULATORY SYSTEM.
HEY, MAN, WOULD YOU MIND
WATCHING THIS FOR ME?
OH, YEAH. SURE.
GO AHEAD, MAN.
THANKS, MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING HERE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
WHAT AM I DOIN' HERE?
THINK I'M GONNA COME
ALL THE WAY OUT HERE,
PICK YOU UP,
AND NOT PARTY?
HEY, JAMES,
THEY'RE WITH ME.
THIS IS MASON,
OLLIE AND SQUIRREL.
HOW'S IT GOIN'?
NICE TO MEET YOU ALL.
ACTUALLY, YOU MET US BEFORE.
WE PROMOTE AT SOCIAL.
ON THURSDAYS.
LISTEN, WE SHOULD GRAB A BITE
TO EAT SOMETIME, MAN.
I'M BASICALLY THIS KID'S
FUCKIN' MANAGER,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
AND I THINK WE COULD USE
A LITTLE BIT OF ADVICE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
JUST ENJOY THE PARTY.
WE'LL TALK SHOP ANOTHER TIME.
NICE TO MEET YOU, BRO.
HEY, COLE,
I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHIN'.
JUST BE COOL.
I'M LIKE THE COOLES FUCKING DUDE EVER.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YOU HAVE A WURLITZER?
WELL, THAT'S NOT BAD.
WELL, MOM TAUGHT PIANO.
YEAH? SHE STILL TEACH?
MAYBE.
I WANNA
SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
THIS IS CALLED A BUCHLA.
IT'S A MOD SYNTH.
ONLY A COUPLE OF 'EM
IN THE WORLD.
BOWIE USED ONE OF THESE
IN "SPACE ODDITY."
YES HE DID.
HOLY COW, MAN!
HOW DO YOU EVER LEAVE
THIS PLACE?
YOU'D BE SURPRISED
AT ALL THE DISTRACTIONS
THAT CAN COME UP.
YOU WERE GOOD OUT THERE,
YOU KNOW.
YOU REALLY KNOW
HOW TO WORK A CROWD.
THANKS, MAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S HEAR THAT TRACK
OF YOURS AGAIN.
YOU GOT IT WITH YOU?
OKAY, HERE'S THE THING.
THE BEGINNING SOUNDS LIKE
SKRILLEX'S BROTHER MADE IT,
OKAY.
AND THEN RIGHT HERE...
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
EARLY JUAN ATKINS TO ME,
WHICH IS GOOD, BUT...
YOU'RE TRYING TO BE
TOO MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I WANT IT TO BE THAT WAY.
I WANT A LOT OF SWITCHES,
I WANT A LOT OF TRANSITIONS.
YEAH.
LIKE BIG, HEAVY DROPS.
MMM.
THAT'S WHAT'S
CRUSHING IT NOW.
YOU SOUND LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
ALL THAT WAS MISSING
WAS A HASHTAG.
"IMITATION IS SUICIDE."
EMERSON SAID THAT.
'KAY.
LOOK, YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE DANCE
AND THAT'S HALF THE BATTLE.
ANY SUCCESSFUL ARTIST,
THEY HAVE THIS MOMENT...
WHERE THEY STOP
BEING AN ADMIRER
AND THEY FIND
THEIR SIGNATURE.
YOU KNOW A SECRET?
I NEVER GO TO SUSHI ON MONDAYS
BECAUSE, FUN FACT...
ALL THE FISH MARKETS
ARE CLOSED.
YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR
SOMETHING INTERESTING?
THE BEST SUSHI IN ALL OF L.A.
IS TERU SUSHI
IN FUCKIN' STUDIO CITY.
DOES THIS GIRL LOOK LIKE
SHE EATS IN THE VALLEY?
OKAY, THE SUSHI IN THE VALLEY
IS THE BEST SUSHI
IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE, KID.
AND WHAT ARE YOU,
THE VALLEY BOARD OF TOURISM?
WILL YOU EXCUSE US?
MASE, CHILL. CHILL.
RELAX. RELAX.
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, BRO.
DID HE JUST SAY "BRO"?
YO, I GOT A SENSE OF HUMOR.
YOU WANNA HEAR SOMETHING
FUCKIN' HILARIOUS?
YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE
HILLARY CLINTON, BRO.
HEY! HEY!
HEY!!!
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
SUSHI.
SUSHI?
FUCK.
THANKS, SQUIRREL.
PICK A PLACE, MAN.
WHY DON'T WE COME HERE
MORE OFTEN, MAN?
I COME HERE ALL THE TIME.
REALLY?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW,
TRY TO CLEAR MY HEAD.
SORRY ABOUT YOUR GIG
THOUGH.
WHATEVER.
YEAH.
OH, JESUS.
HEY.
HEY.
IS JAMES HOME?
YEAH, HE SHOULD BE.
I'LL LET YOU IN.
HEY, BABE.
I WAS JUST TAKING
A LITTLE NAP.
I KNOW.
HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS.
OH, CHRIST. PUT THAT BACK
IN YOUR POCKET.
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
I BROKE UP WITH YOU?
NO, MAN.
YOUR FRIENDS,
THEY'RE GORILLAS...
BUT ME AND YOU, WE'RE COOL.
IS THAT IT?
WHAT IS THAT?
THAT ONE RIGHT THERE,
WHAT'S THAT LOOP?
IT'S A HANDCLAP.
YEAH. I KNOW
IT'S A HANDCLAP, DIPSHIT,
BUT WHAT IS IT?
DID YOU MAKE IT?
IT'S A SAMPLE.
WELL, IRONICALLY,
IT'S THE ONLY LIVE THING
IN THERE.
I MEAN,
AMONGST ALL THIS OTHER
SYNTHETIC
COMPUTER-GENERATED GARBAGE...
THERE'S ONE HONEST HANDCLAP.
LISTEN, I GET IT, MAN.
I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE,
BUT...
YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANYWHERE
USING THE SAME OLD SOUNDS
THAT EVERY OTHER
LAPTOP DJ'S USING.
YEAH, BUT I MEAN,
BY DEFINITION, LIKE...
ALL ELECTRONIC MUSIC
IS COMPUTER-GENERATED.
YEAH,
BUT IT CAN BE ORGANIC.
INSTEAD OF THA SYNTHETIC KICK DRUM...
INSTEAD OF THAT TINNY
KEYBOARD....
MUSIC.
SOUNDS HAVE SOUL.
BUILD THEM FROM SCRATCH.
FIND NEW ONES.
GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THAT LAPTOP
AND START LISTENING
TO WHAT THE REAL FUCKING WORLD
IS TRYING TO TELL YOU.
THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
YOU DON'T LISTEN.
HEY, JIMMY'S ON THE PHONE
ABOUT VENETIAN FIELDS.
WHAT DAYS ARE WE TRAVELING
TO VEGAS, THE 20th OR THE 21st?
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THAT TRACK?
IT'S FINE.
SEE, HATERS, HATERS
ARE YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE.
OH. WELL, LOVERS
KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP.
WHICH DAY?
19th.
I NEED A BLACKJACK DAY.
THANK YOU. HI, JIMMY.
YEAH, HE SAYS THE 19th.
YEAH, WE'RE LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT.
I'LL MAKE SURE
HE GETS THERE ON TIME.
THANK YOU.
WELL, YOU SOUNDED HIGHLY
PROFESSIONAL RIGHT NOW.
DON'T PATRONIZE ME.
I'M GONNA TAKE A BREAK.
YOU CAN USE THE SPACE
WHENEVER YOU WANT.
YOU ARE COMING WITH ME.
ARE YOU ASKING OR TELLING?
HI, I'M CALLING FROM
GOLD STAR REALTY SOLUTIONS.
MAY I SPEAK
WITH TANYA ROMERO?
This is she.
HI, TANYA, I UNDERSTAND
THAT YOUR BANK'S GIVEN YOU
A NOTICE OF FORECLOSURE.
Yesterday.
How did you know that?
WELL, WE WORK WITH THE BANKS
TO HELP NEGOTIATE...
Shh, shh, shh.
Honey, shh.
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE
A LITTLE MONSTER OVER THERE.
Yeah, that's my son,
Richard.
RICHARD?
THAT'S ACTUALLY FUNNY.
THAT'S MY DAD'S NAME.
COLE. COLE, BABY,
COME CHECK THIS OUT.
WHY DON'T YOU LET HIM WORK?
Are you really able
to prevent evictions?
YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET ME TRANSFER YOU OVER
TO MY MANAGER...
AND HE CAN TALK YOU
THROUGH EVERYTHING.
FIRST NAME.
WHAT?
WHAT IS THE CLIENT'S
FIRST NAME?
TANYA. TANYA ROMERO.
TANYA, PAIGE OREL.
I HEAR WE'RE CATCHING YOU
AT A ROUGH TIME.
RIGHT. OH, RIGHT.
LET ME JUST TELL YOU
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT WHAT WE DO.
ALL RIGHT NOW.
YOU READY FOR THIS?
THIS IS A DIFFERENT KIND OF
CROWD. THEY KNOW THEIR STUFF.
HEY, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
HOW YA DOIN'?
THIS IS MY BOY, COLE.
LOOK AT THAT!
I DON'T WANT TO.
COME ON,
I NEED YOUR VOICE.
NO. I'M NOT DOING IT.
I'M NOT DOING IT.
YOU'RE A GOOD SINGER.
I CAN'T SING!
YOU DON'T WANT TO HELP
YOUR BUDDY?
NO. NO.
NUMBER NINE.
NUMBER NINE.
SYNCHRONICITY...
IS ELECTRICITY.
SYNCHRONICITY...
IS ELECTRICITY.
THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S IT?
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE
A TRACK.
THAT WAS REALLY,
REALLY SCARY.
IS IT?
THAT'S THE ONE.
HE SAID,
"MEET ME AT THE FOUNTAIN."
I WAS LIKE, "FOUNTAIN?
WE'RE IN ROME!
THERE'S FOUNTAINS EVERYWHERE!
WHICH FOUNTAIN?"
SEORITA,
UNO MAS, POR FAVOR!
HEY, LET'S WAI TILL CLARISSA'S.
CLARISSA?
WHO'S CLARISSA?
UM, YOU MET HER
LIKE THREE TIMES.
SHE JUST GRADUATED
FROM STANFORD?
OH, THE STANFORD PARTY.
RIGHT.
COME ON,
THEY'RE MY FRIENDS.
WELL, I CAN BE YOUR FRIEND,
BABY.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE COLE?
COLE, YOU SHOULD GO.
COME ON, MAN.
IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.
WHAT ELSE
ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I'M GONNA WATCH CSPAN UNTIL
I LOSE FAITH IN HUMANITY.
BUT YOU GUYS SHOULD GO.
YOU CAN TALK
ABOUT YOUR MILLENNIAL ANGST.
TOO MUCH VALIDATION.
THE IRONY IS,
IF YOU'RE GONNA BE A LAWYER...
YOU'RE BASICALLY
HANDING IN ESSAYS
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
YEAH, BUT AT LEAST NOW
I'M GETTING PAID FOR IT.
CHEERS TO THAT!
HEY, WHAT DO YOU DO?
I'M AN ASSISTANT.
OH, YEAH? WHERE AT?
A PERSONAL ASSISTANT, ACTUALLY.
FOR A MUSICIAN.
OH, FOR WHO?
I LOVE MUSIC.
JAMES REED. HE'S A DJ.
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW HIM.
I'M GONNA GET A DRINK.
I'LL COME WITH YOU.
EXCUSE ME.
I THINK THEY SPEN LIKE $200 ON CHEESE.
YEAH, AND HALF THE PEOPLE
HERE DON'T EAT DAIRY.
I'M GONNA FIND
THE BATHROOM.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?
YEAH, I'M FINE.
HEY, THAT SOPHIE GIRL'S
PRETTY CUTE.
WAS SHE OUR YEAR?
YEAH, FOR LIKE A MINUTE.
SHE FAILED OUT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
EVERY GUY IN OUR DORM
SAW HER TITS.
I NEVER WENT THERE PERSONALLY.
WISH I HAD.
THE LINE'S TOO LONG.
HEY, LET'S GO OVER HERE.
WHY?
AND SHE'S LIKE TOTALLY
FUCKING THE DJ SHE WORKS FOR.
HE'S LIKE 40
AND PAYS THE BILLS.
HEY, I'D HELP HER BUY GROCERIES
FOR A WEEK OR TWO.
DON'T.
HEY, WHEN YOU GUYS
JERK EACH OTHER OFF,
DO YOU TAKE TURNS?
OR IS IT MORE OF LIKE
A SIMULTANEOUS KINDA DEAL?
COLE, STOP.
HEY.
YOU REALLY DIDN' HAVE TO DO THAT.
FUCK THOSE GUYS.
THEY WOULDN'T LAST TWO SECONDS
IN THE REAL WORLD.
THOSE GUYS'LL END UP
RUNNING THE REAL WORLD.
YEAH, I KNOW.
JUST SO YOU KNOW...
I DIDN'T FAIL OUT.
I JUST NEEDED
TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF.
NOW ALL MY FRIENDS
ARE GRADUATING...
AND I HAVE NOTHING
TO SHOW FOR MYSELF.
WHY DON'T YOU JUS GO BACK TO SCHOOL?
I CAN'T AFFORD IT.
THERE'S A TON OF SCHOOLS
THAT ARE CHEAPER
THAN STANFORD.
YEAH, MAYBE.
JAMES THINKS
YOU'RE REALLY TALENTED.
YEAH?
YEAH.
HE SAID THAT?
HE SAID YOU HAVE
AN ACUTE SENSE OF ASSEMBLAGE.
ARE YOU?
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?
IS IT FRENCH?
ASSEMBLAGE.
ASSEMBLAGE.
DO YOU
REALLY KNOW WHAT IT MEANS?
NO.
I DON'T REALLY, EITHER,
BUT IT'S A GOOD THING,
I THINK.
I THINK SO, TOO.
WE HAVE GOT UPPERS,
DOWNERS, SCREAMERS, LAUGHERS,
MDMAS, AND SOME
FUCKIN' SPECIAL K.
WE'VE EVEN GOT SOME MINTS
FOR THE KIDS.
I FUCKIN' LOVE MUSIC FESTIVALS.
YOU KNOW,
EVERY HIT OF ECSTASY
IS LIKE FIVE YEARS
OF JAIL SENTENCE, AT LEAST.
ALL RIGHT,
RAVE RULE NUMBER ONE, OKAY?
IF ANYBODY GETS LOST, WE HAVE
THE BUDDY FUCKIN' SYSTEM.
WE MEET BACK AT THE CAR.
RIGHT?
I HATE BEING DADDY HERE, BU I GOTTA DO IT. THAT'S THE RULE.
YEAH.
YEAH, BABY.
UH, IT'S MY PHONE.
YEAH! WHOO! YES!
YES! LET'S GO, BOYS,
WE'RE IN!
HEY, ARE YOU HERE?
I'M AT THE FERRIS WHEEL.
COME FIND ME.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I GOTTA GO.
HEY, GUYS, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YO.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU
FUCKIN' GOIN', MAN?
FUCK, MAN!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
JAMES GOT DRUNK
AND DITCHED ME.
ARE YOU ROLLING?
ME? NEVER.
STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE.
WHERE ARE YOU, MAN?
WE'RE AT THE SPOT.
JUST GIVE HIM
FIVE MINUTES.
HI.
HI.
SHOULD WE GE ROOM SERVICE?
I WANT PANCAKES.
MMM.
I WANT A CHEESEBURGER.
A CHEESEBURGER?
WITH BACON.
AND FRIES.
AND A SIDE OF AVOCADO.
MMM.
SO GOOD.
SO GOOD.
HOW'S YOURS?
FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE.
CAN I TRY?
YES.
MY GOD,
I'M STUFFING MY FACE.
I WAS SO HUNGRY.
SO GOOD.
MMM.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU FUCKING DID THA TO YOUR FRIENDS, RIGHT?
I MEAN, SHE BETTER HAVE BEEN
A EIGHT AND A HALF
LIKE ON A BAD DAY.
WHAT ARE YOU
FUCKIN' SMILING...?
YOU DITCHED YOUR FRIENDS
AND YOU'RE SMILING.
IT'S NOT FUCKIN' FUNNY.
IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU,
IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE
SUCH A PRETTY SMILE...
I SWEAR TO GOD,
I'D FUCKIN' TAKE YOU DOWN.
THAT'S THE LITTLE BI YOU TOLD ME ABOUT.
THAT'S THE THING
ABOUT GIRL FACE.
I KNOW THAT FACE.
I KNOW THAT FACE.
HEY, IT'S SOPHIE.
LEAVE A MESSAGE.
GOLD STAR REALTY SOLUTIONS.
Hi. This is Tanya Romero.
Is this Cole?
YEAH. HI, TANYA.
Can you do something
for me?
Hello? Cole?
Hello?
YOU.
WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?
YOU DIDN'T CALL ME
AT THE FESTIVAL.
I MET UP WITH
THESE UKRAINIAN ACROBATS.
CELLPHONE RECEPTION
WAS SHITTY.
COME ON, THE FIGHT'S
ALREADY STARTED.
SO CAN I GET YOU
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
YEAH, MAN,
WHATEVER YOU'RE HAVING.
WELL, I'M HAVING PELLEGRINO
'CAUSE I'M LAYING OFF.
SURE, SAME THING.
SAME THING?
YEAH, PELLEGRINO.
ALL RIGHT.
YAY!
I'M NOT REALLY INTO SPORTS,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT GROWN MEN BEATIN'
THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER
WHILE THEIR FRIENDS WATCH
THAT REALLY INTRIGUES ME.
I'M GONNA GO GE AN ENERGY DRINK.
ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING?
NO, I'M GOOD, MAN.
THANK YOU.
I TRIED TO CALL YOU.
LOOK, IT WAS INEVITABLE
IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN,
AND IT HAPPENED...
SO LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
WHAT?
IS THAT WHA YOU REALLY WANT?
ANYWAY...
I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN
A LITTLE SENTIMENTAL.
HERE YOU GO.
IT'S ACTUALLY
A SELF-SERVING GIFT.
I WAS ASKED TO PLAY
THE PIONEER DJ SUMMERFEST.
THEY SAID I COULD BRING
AN OPENER.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THEN I IMAGINED YOU UP THERE
WITH YOUR JANKY RIG
IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE
GYRATING TWEENS,
AND...
IT JUST DIDN'T SIT RIGHT.
YOU BETTER GE THAT TRACK READY.
THIS, I FOUND
ON MY DOOR YESTERDAY.
UH-OH.
GOD.
JUST AWFUL. MMM.
I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE.
WHEW.
SO, WHAT'S
THE NEXT MOVE?
MRS. ROMERO,
I'M SURE YOU MUST KNOW
THE HOUSING MARKE RIGHT NOW...
IT'S JUST BRUTAL.
NOW, I BROUGHT A RECORD
OF OUR CORRESPONDENCE
WITH YOUR BANK.
NOW, IF YOU LOOK AT THIS,
YOU CAN SEE THAT WE PUSHED,
BUT JUST...
THESE GUYS, THEY JUST DO NO WANNA WORK WITH US.
WHERE DOES THA LEAVE ME?
YEAH, PAIGE, THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOMETHING WE COULD DO.
OKAY. UM,
LOOK, THERE IS ONE THING,
I GUESS.
IT'S NOT SOMETHING
THAT WE USUALLY DO...
BUT IF YOU WERE TO SIGN THE DEED
OF YOUR HOUSE OVER TO US...
I COULD OFFER YOU
A $20,000 REBATE
RIGHT HERE ON THE SPOT.
YOU'RE OFFERING TO BUY
MY HOUSE FOR $20,000,
BUT IT'S WORTH $300,000.
YEAH, BUT THAT'S JUS A NUMBER, RIGHT?
I MEAN, IT REALLY
DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
YOU SEE, THAT NUMBER
DOESN'T MATTER
BECAUSE YOU'RE
IN FORECLOSURE.
SEE, YOU COULD LOSE YOUR HOUSE,
GET NOTHING,
OR...SIGN IT OVER TO US.
I'LL RENT IT BACK TO YOU AND
I'LL DO IT AT A LOWER RATE.
WHAT WAS THAT?
WE JUST DID
MORE FOR THAT WOMAN
THAN ANY BANK EVER COULD.
YOU JUST STOLE
HER FUCKING HOUSE.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
WE JUST MADE REAL FUCKIN' MONEY
IN THERE, YOU GOT THAT?
REAL FUCKIN' MONEY.
DID YOU SEE THAT CHANDELIER?
I WILL SELL THIS PLACE
FOR 500, 600 GRAND EASY.
SELL IT?
YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE GONNA
RENT IT BACK TO HER.
THIS GUY.
YOU GOTTA RELAX, KID.
I'M NOT TALKIN' ABOUT DOIN' I OVERNIGHT, ALL RIGHT?
FUCK, MAN!
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
LISTEN.
EVERYBODY IS RESPONSIBLE
FOR THEMSELVES.
YOU GOT THAT?
YOU JUST WALKED IN THAT HOUSE,
YOU EARNED YOURSELF
A $15,000 BONUS.
NOW, DO YOU WANT THAT MONEY
OR ARE YOU TOO UPSET?
KNOW WHY THE DINING
EXPERIENCE IS SUB-PAR IN L.A.?
BECAUSE THE RESTAURANT STAFF
IS BIDING THEIR TIME
UNTIL THEY LAND A SITCOM.
THEY CAN REMEMBER
THEIR LINES...
BUT THEY CAN'T REMEMBER
MY FUCKING ORDER.
WELL, IT GO A GOOD REVIEW ONLINE.
OH, YES, THE HIGH-MINDED PEOPLE
OF THE INTERNET HATH SPOKEN.
THE HIGH-MINDED PEOPLE
OF THE INTERNE SPEAK HIGHLY OF YOU.
YEAH. SHOWS YOU
HOW MUCH THEY KNOW.
HEY.
HEY.
ANOTHER DRINK?
I CAN'T TALK
WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS.
OH, LIKE WHAT?
WHOA.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I THINK I'M GONNA GO.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. COME ON.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME CAKE.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAN.
COME HERE, COME HERE, COME HERE.
YEAH.
TAKE THAT. TAKE IT,
TAKE IT, TAKE IT.
THANKS.
SO, YOU WANT A PIECE
WITH A BLUEBERRY ON IT?
OH, THIS IS GOOD.
COLE?
IT'S SO GOOD, BABY.
IT REALLY IS.
YOU KNOW I HATE MY BIRTHDAY.
I GOT IT.
NOW I HATE IT, TOO.
SOPH.
ALL RIGHT,
YOU'RE GONNA MISS OUT.
COLE AND I ARE GONNA EA THIS ENTIRE THING.
DO WHAT YOU WANT.
YOU ALWAYS DO.
YES.
IT'S A GOOD PHILOSOPHY.
IF EVERYBODY DID
WHAT THEY WANTED...
THE WORLD WOULD BE
A HAPPIER PLACE.
YOU'RE NOT HAPPY.
YOU'RE DRUNK.
I'M JUST GONNA GO.
NO, NO, NO, STAY.
APPARENTLY THIS
IS MY BIRTHDAY PARTY
AND WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE.
SOPHIE, COME ON,
LET'S HAVE A DRINK.
SOPHIE.
GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!
IS THIS THE PAR WHERE I GO REDEEM MYSELF?
COME ON.
LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.
YEAH!
SUMMERFEST.
CHEERS.
IT'S GONNA BE A BLAST,
MAN. YOU THINK YOU'RE READY?
THIS COULD BE
YOUR BIG LAUNCH, MAN.
YOU KNOW, A LOTTA YOUNG DJs
GOT THEIR START AT SUMMERFEST.
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
I FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.
I GOTTA PISS.
I'M NOT FEELIN' SO HOT.
JESUS! YOU BROKE
THE SEAL TOO EARLY.
YOU ARE SO TALENTED.
WOW.
YOU WERE RIGHT.
YOU REALLY SHOULDN' DRINK WHISKEY.
WHAT'S THAT?
IS THAT YOUR PHONE?
HEY. ANSWER YOUR
FUCKIN' PHONE, COLE!
WHO IS THAT?
WHAT THE FUCK'S
YOUR PROBLEM?
LET'S SEE WHO THE FUCK
IS CALLING YOU AT 1:00 AM.
SHE PROBABLY WANTS
TO TALK ABOUT YOU.
YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT.
DID YOU FUCK HER?
WHAT? FUCK!
DID YOU FUCK HER?
AAH!
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
FOUR YEARS OF MMA,
EMPHASIS ON MUAY THAI.
THIS IS YOUR THING, RIGHT?
I MEAN, YOU LIKE TO FIGHT.
COME ON, GET UP.
YOU DON'T GIVE A SHI ABOUT HER, MAN.
WHAT, YOU THINK BECAUSE
YOU WENT OUT TO VEGAS
AND YOU FUCKED HER THA YOU KNOW SOMETHING I DON'T?
SHE LOVES YOU,
YOU LOSER.
OH, I'M A LOSER?
SAYS THE GUY WITH THE
DRUG-DEALER FRIENDS AND NO CAR.
YOU'RE ALL TALK, MAN.
YOU THINK
YOU'RE SOME MUSICAL GENIUS?
MAYBE YOU USED TO BE
GOOD...
NOW YOU'RE JUS A DRUNK SELL-OUT...
COLLECTING A CHECK.
YOU LISTEN TO ME,
YOU WEASELY LITTLE CUNT.
YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING
ABOUT ME.
THE THINGS
I WALK AROUND WITH.
WHAT ARE YOU,
23 YEARS OLD?
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ALIVE
LONG ENOUGH
TO UNDERSTAND THE MEANING
OF THE WORD "IRREPARABLE."
BUT AT SOME POIN IN YOUR LIFE,
THERE ARE GONNA BE THINGS...
THAT FINISH YOU.
AND THERE WON'T BE A DAMN THING
YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
WHY'D YOU SHAVE IT?
GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN.
DUDE,
WHY'D YOU DO THAT, MAN?
I WAS JUST GETTING USED
TO FUCKIN' HANGIN' OU WITH BURT REYNOLDS.
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU'RE 10 YEARS OLD NOW.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT.
FUCKING DEPRESSING IN HERE.
LET'S GET SOME SUSHI.
NICE.
AFTER WE EAT,
I GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL
TO SHOW YOU GUYS.
WHOA.
I'M GONNA JOIN 'EM.
SORRY ABOU SUMMERFEST, MAN.
I KNOW
YOU WOULD'VE KILLED IT.
I'VE BEEN APPLYING FOR JOBS
AT A FEW PLACES.
ENTRY LEVEL POSITIONS.
WAIT,
ARE YOU RECORDING THIS?
WHAT, YOU DON'T WANNA KEEP
WORKING WITH THE GROUP?
I DON'T KNOW.
DO YOU?
DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE
THERE'S A LOT MORE
WE COULD BE DOING?
LIKE,
MORE QUALITY STUFF?
YEAH, DUDE,
THIS IS FUCKIN' TEMPORARY.
YOU THINK WE SIGNED UP FOR
A LIFETIME IN REAL ESTATE?
AND IT'S NOT TEMPORARY.
WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN
THOSE GUYS.
I MEAN, COLE...
ARE WE EVER GONNA BE BETTER
THAN THIS?
I THOUGHT WE SAID
HOLLYWOOD HILLS,
NOT GRANADA HILLS.
IT'S A STEPPING STONE,
AND IT GETS US ALL
OUT OF OUR UNSATISFACTORY
RESPECTIVE SITUATIONS.
COLE, COME HERE,
CHECK THIS SHIT OUT.
THIS RIGHT HERE.
IT'S YOUR STUDIO.
SOUNDPROOF THE WALLS.
WHAT DO YOU GIVE TO A MAN
WHO HAS EVERYTHING?
JUST MORE OF THAT MAN.
AND THIS...THIS IS ME.
OF COURSE.
YOU'LL ALL
BE VERY HAPPY TO KNOW
THAT THERE'S
A CENTRAL AC UNIT.
HUH?
WHAT IF SOMEBODY WANTS
TO MOVE OUT?
FUCKIN' MOVE OUT.
WE'LL FILL IT IN
WITH SOME CRAIGSLIST.
HOW MUCH?
$750.
YOU GOT THE BIGGEST ROOM,
I NOTICED.
YEAH.
WELL, IT'S A FINDER'S FEE.
YOU PAY 900, WE PAY 700.
GREAT.
OKAY.
WHO IS THIS FOR?
HUH?
YOU ALREADY RENTED IT?
ARE YOU CRAZY?
HERE YOU GO.
OH, DUDE,
I FORGOT THE BEST PART.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WELCOME TO THE DREAM,
BITCHES.
GET IN,
THE WATER'S WARM!
DO A BACK FLIP,
SQUIRREL!
GET IN!
YEAH!
WE FUCKIN' MADE IT.
WE MADE IT.
BRING IT IN REAL QUICK.
BRING IT IN.
OH, MAN.
CAN YOU STOP SMACKING
ON THAT...
DUDE,
I'M FUCKING DYING HERE.
I'M LITERALLY DYING.
HEY, WHAT WAS THE NAME
OF THE BLONDE CHICK
THAT WAS PLAYING THE...
CHICKEN FIGHTS?
I THINK I BANGED HER.
THIS HOUSE IS GONNA
GET US ARRESTED, MAN.
YOU GUYS SEEN WHAT HAPPENED
IN THAT BATHROOM?
IT'S FUCKIN'
YO, SQUIRREL,
WHAT WAS THE NAME
OF THAT FUCKIN' BLONDE CHICK
THAT I WAS WITH?
YO, THIS GUY WAS A FUCKIN'
LEGEND LAST NIGHT.
SQUIRRELLY BIRD, I SALUTE YOU.
SQUIRREL. HEY, WHO WAS THA BLONDE BITCH YESTERDAY?
REMEMBER?
HEY. WAKE UP.
YO, SQUIRREL.
OH, FUCK.
SQUIRREL. YO, COLE.
HE'S FUCKING GRAY, DUDE.
WHAT?
HE'S COLD, MAN.
HIS FUCKIN' LIPS...
SQUIRREL, WAKE UP!
SQUIRREL!
MASE, WHAT'S THE ADDRESS?
YO, HE'S NO BREATHING, GUYS!
WHAT'S THE ADDRESS?!
HE'S NO FUCKIN' BREATHING!
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU DON'T KNOW
THE FUCKING...?! FUCK!
OLLIE, OLLIE, HE'S NO FUCKIN' BREATHING, MAN.
SQUIRREL, WAKE UP, MAN.
GET HIM UP. GET HIM UP.
GET HIM UP.
LET'S GET HIM UP.
OUR FRIEND -- HE'S PASSED OUT.
HE'S GRAY.
WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT'D YOU
GIVE HIM LAST NIGHT?
DON'T SAY THAT SHIT TO ME.
WHAT'D HE TAKE?
I'M NEVER GOING BACK
TO THAT HOUSE.
PAIGE SENDS
HIS CONDOLENCES.
WOW, THAT'S REAL THOUGHTFUL
OF HIM. A CONDOLENCE TEXT.
IF YOU THINK I'M GOING BACK
TO WORK FOR THAT GUY,
YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND.
OH, THAT'S GREAT.
LET'S THROW AWAY THE ONE
GOOD JOB THAT WE HAVE.
WE'RE RUINING LIVES.
DO YOU REALIZE THAT?
HEY, LISTEN.
FUCK PAIGE.
WE'RE NOT GOING BACK
TO WORK FOR HIM, OKAY...
BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED HIM.
WE GOT OUR OWN THING.
WHAT THING?
WE GOT THURSDAYS.
WE GOT THE CLUB.
YOU'RE GONNA BOOK A SITCOM, MAN.
I KNOW YOU ARE.
YOU'RE GONNA BRING CELEBS
TO THE CLUB
AND COLE'S GONNA BE HEADLINING.
WE'RE GONNA KEVIN SYSTROM
THIS SHIT RIGHT UP.
NONE OF THAT IS REAL, DUDE.
IT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
MAN, I'M NOT GONNA BE
AN ACTOR.
WE'RE NOT GONNA BE
MILLIONAIRES.
STUFF JUST DOESN' WORK LIKE THAT.
LOOK,
I LOOK AROUND ME, MAN.
WHAT ELSE
AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
LOOK, I'M GOOD AT THIS.
YOU KNOW, I CAN DO THIS.
I DON'T WANNA BE A LOSER
THE REST OF MY LIFE.
AND YOU GUYS...
YOU GUYS CAN HATE ME
IF YOU WANT TO, BUT...
I'M NOT QUITTING.
GOOD. THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKIN' LOSER.
YOU'RE A CONNIVING, HALF-BLOOD,
DISLOYAL LITTLE FUCKING LOSER.
OH, CALM YOURSELF.
HEY, IF IT HADN'T BEEN
FOR YOUR PILL-POPPING ASS...
GETTIN' SQUIRREL FUCKED UP
ALL NIGHT...
I THINK HE'D STILL BE SITTING
RIGHT THE FUCK THERE.
YOU TRYING TO PUT THA ON ME RIGHT NOW?
OH, FUCK, I'M JUST SAYING
WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE HERE
WANTS TO SAY...
BUT THEY CAN'T DO IT 'CAUSE
THEY DON'T HAVE THE FUCKIN'-
HEY! GUYS!
WHAT THE FUCK?!
HEY, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
MAN, COME ON.
I AM SO
FUCKIN' DONE WITH YOU.
FUCK HIM. AND FUCK PAIGE,
TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT?
THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE PERFEC FOR EACH OTHER.
FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S GONE.
HEY, ARE YOU HERE?
I'M AT THE FERRIS WHEEL.
COME FIND ME.
I LOVE IT HERE.
HEY, ARE YOU HERE?
I'M AT THE FERRIS WHEEL.
COME FIND ME.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I'VE BEEN APPLYING
FOR JOBS AT A FEW PLACES.
YOU KNOW,
ENTRY LEVEL POSITIONS.
WAIT,
ARE YOU RECORDING THIS?
OH, GREAT.
IT'S MY FAVORITE PERSON.
I'M GOOD.
YEAH,
I'M NOT OFFERING YOU ONE.
THAT'S OKAY.
YEAH.
I KNOW IT'S OKAY.
YOU FUCKED MY GIRLFRIEND
AND YOU CALLED ME WASHED UP.
THOSE WEREN' MY EXACT WORDS.
YOU TWENTY-SOMETHINGS, MAN,
YOU'RE ALL ABOUT THAT.
SHARING YOUR
ACUTE OBSERVATIONS.
I KNOW I MESSED UP, MAN.
I'M SORRY.
IS THAT WHY
YOU CAME OVER HERE?
MOSTLY.
WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.
SO DO YOU.
YEAH, WELL,
I ACTUALLY FEEL TERRIFIC.
DID YOU KNOW SOPHIE
MOVED TO THE VALLEY?
NORTH HOLLYWOOD.
IS THAT A REAL PLACE?
SHE'S MAKING $6 ESPRESSOS
AT A VEGAN CAFE
WHERE THEY ONLY SERVE
FAIR TRADE ORGANIC.
SHE'S BETTER OFF
WITHOUT ME.
SUMMERFEST IS COMING UP
THIS SATURDAY.
MAN, YOU REALLY MESSED UP
ON THAT ONE.
I DIDN'T DESERVE I ANYWAY.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
SQUIRREL DIED.
IT MIGHT BE MY FAULT.
OH, COME ON, MAN, OF COURSE
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.
IT'S LIKE, NO ONE THINKS
THEY'RE A BAD PERSON...
BUT I DON'T THINK
I'M A GOOD ONE.
MAN, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL
PERSON UNTIL YOU'RE 27.
I HAVEN'T MADE SHI IN WEEKS.
DON'T LET IT BE YEARS.
HEY.
HEY.
YOU OKAY?
YEAH.
SO, LIKE,
DO YOU LIKE WORKIN' HERE?
NO?
I MEAN,
THE TIPS ARE SHITTY,
AND THE MANAGER'S
ALWAYS HITTING ON ME.
BUT, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WAN SOME FREE PIE ON THURSDAYS...
I MIGHT BE ABLE
TO HOOK IT UP.
OH, SHIT.
NO PROMISES, THOUGH,
I MEAN...
ALL RIGHT.
SHIT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
HOLD ON,
JUST KEEP GOING.
KEEP GOIN'.
- JAMES.
- What's up?
CAN WE TALK ABOUT SUMMERFES REAL FAST?
I THINK I HAVE SOMETHING.
I'M PLAYING SUMMERFES TOMORROW.
THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME.
CONGRATULATIONS, MAN.
WHAT'S UP, FELLAS?
HOW YA DOIN'?
THAT'S MY BOY COLE.
FELLAS.
THAT'S MY BOY COLE.
COLE'S OPENING FOR ME.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S A LOT OF BEATING HEARTS
OUT THERE.
THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT?
WHAT'S UP?
I'M COLE CARTER.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I LOVE IT HERE.
WAIT,
ARE YOU RECORDING THIS?
WHAT, YOU DON'T WANNA KEEP
WORKING WITH THE GROUP?
I DON'T KNOW. DO YOU?
DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE THERE'S
A LOT MORE WE COULD BE DOING?
LIKE,
MORE QUALITY STUFF?
I MEAN, COLE...
ARE WE EVER GONNA BE
BETTER THAN THIS?
ARE WE EVER GONNA BE
BETTER THAN THIS?
ARE WE EVER GONNA BE
BETTER THAN THIS?
ARE WE EVER GONNA BE
BETTER THAN THIS?
ARE WE EVER GONNA BE
BETTER THAN THIS?
I LOVE IT HERE.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I LOVE IT HERE.
THESE DAYS, YOU CAN INVEN AN APP, START A BLOG,
SELL SHIT ONLINE.
BUT IF YOU'RE A DJ,
YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO STAR WITH ONE TRACK.
AND IF IT'S REAL ENOUGH...
AND HONEST ENOUGH...
AND IF IT'S MADE OF EVERYTHING
THAT'S MADE YOU...
WHERE YOU COME FROM...
WHO YOU KNEW...
YOUR HISTORY...
THEN YOU MAY HAVE A CHANCE A CONNECTING WITH EVERYONE ELSE.
AND MAYBE THAT'S YOUR TICKET.
TO EVERYTHING.
DON'T FUCK WITH ME,
I'M IN A GOOD MOOD.
I'M HERE TO INQUIRE
ABOUT A FREE PIECE OF PIE
THAT WAS ADVERTISED.
OH, WELL, I BELIEVE THA OFFER'S ONLY ON THURSDAYS?
BUT I MEAN...
I COULD MAKE AN EXCEPTION,
I GUESS.
THIS IS THE BEST PART.
THE BEST PAR OF ANYTHING REALLY.
IT'S THE MOMEN BEFORE IT STARTS.