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We Don't Belong Here (2017)
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Water. Empty. Rich. Secret. Light. Above. Backwards. Brother. When I feel a panic coming on, I'm supposed to list off words in my head associated with my surroundings. This technique helps ground me in the world I live in so I don't disappear into my head. Mom. Look. What happened to us? Hi. I would like a room, please. It's 50. I'm the apostle of affliction. Open up. What the hell's going on in there? Are you okay? Lady? Was I sleeping? Yeah. I mean, I thought maybe you were dead. Oh, no, no, no, not yet. Why don't you tell me what your goal is for this work? I don't wanna take medication and I don't wanna talk to you. Well, what were you feeling last night? Were you having... racing thoughts or suicidal thoughts? Are you gonna try and tell me something about my mind or the way it works? Here's a pill. Feel better. Lily. I think you may be bipolar. Great. Is it great? Is it "great"? Well, what am I supposed to say? I don't know. You could say anything. You could say: "That sucks." "That sucks." That sucks. Yeah. How about that? - I have four children. - Mm. Two of them, Lily and Max, have mental illnesses. Madeline is fine. And my other daughter... She's also very pretty. Madeline? Mm. Oh, she is, yes. Yeah. She's red and just... But any... I came here really... What I'm very concerned about right now is Max. Mm-hm. Oh. He's a very bright boy, am I right? Yes. Heh, heh. Is he, uh...? Is he incarcerated? Like in jail? No. Um, he's bipolar. That's it. And I haven't heard from him in a while now and that's not... Yeah, it will be okay. Really? Mm-hm. He's fine. I can see it. Oh, my God, I could cry. I was so scared about coming here. Oh, everyone is the first time. Heh. But you're here. That's the important part. I keep my thoughts to myself, I think so much that I need to run to keep them quiet. I don't need a doctor to inform me of how I feel. I'm the center of the universe. I can feel the world around me changing. Everything is real. Everything. Nothing is what it seems. My name is Lily Green and I am on a path... Are you okay? I'm fine. It's nothing. You sure? Yes. You scraped your hands. I got a first aid kit... I'm fine. It'd just take a minute. I could clear it up. No, thanks. Two minutes... I said no! Okay? Jesus. I'm 17, you pervert. I was trying to help you. I don't need your help. Um... I was 16, and there was this bridge. It was, like, where all of the local kids would go and get drunk and smoke pot. And, um... That's where I lost my virginity. What's your relationship like with your family? It's... It's good. Yeah, it's, you know.... I would prefer not to talk about personal things because I have a hard time with that. You don't get along with your family? Elisa and my mom hate each other. One night, Elisa had a meltdown and began yelling at my mom about time travel. Babe? My mother told her she was mentally ill. Listen, just open the door. Fuck, open the door so I can say I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Fuck. Open the fucking door. In the lives That we planned What the fuck. Until it's time For you to go Hey! Yes, we're different Worlds apart Who are you? I'm Frank. I'm Elisa. Elisa. Elisa? Ha! What I feel has come And gone before No need to talk it out We know what It's all about Hangin' around Nothin' to do but frown Rainy days and Mondays Always get Me down Oh, ho-ho-ho, good. Do you like being watched? Davey. What are you doing here? Well, I'm stalking you. No, they pay me 40 bucks to tape the open mic. Right. Right. Collarbone, and you simply walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, and put out your ass. Okay? I want you to do it. Come to me. So, um... what brings you here? I don't know. I just want to be somewhere else. You're a long way from home. Not really. Metaphorically. Lily? Lily? Yes? Come up here, please. Where were you tonight? It's late. I was... I was at a friend's. What friend? Hmm? Just a friend. Come here. You need a manicure. I clocked my best time at track today. You did? Oh, how great. Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Lily, are you sure you're okay? Mom... What? I love you. I love you too. I love you too. Have you heard anything from Max? Hmm. Under no circumstances discuss unexplainable things. My grandmother says that everything is real. No matter what people say, what we see is real. Who's there? Hey. Sorry. I wanted to see you, but... I know you're always here, so... I like it here. I know. That little guy wandered in here today just like you. Oh. When do you see people, Grandma? When I watch my television. I think my grandmother and I are the exact same person. I won't tell her that. I'll tell her something else instead. I stopped taking my medication. What else, Lily? I wanted to lose my virginity last week, and... on my way to see this guy, I started to hear music in my head. Like I could really hear it, like it was all around me. As I was walking to see... Davey is his name, I started to forget where I was going, and then I started to forget who I was going to see, and then... I forgot my name. Sometimes I wonder if we live in purgatory. And I'm not speaking metaphorically, Grandma. I don't know what happened that night. They found me in the woods. You went out to have sex and you wound up in the hospital. That's what happened. My mom's only friend is Joanne Carpenter, a self-made woman. I've caught the two of them smoking cigarettes on several occasions. Well, you missed absolutely nothing. It was a complete waste of time. Sarah's teacher informed me that I don't have to worry about her and the boys because she's going to be a science prodigy. What the fuck? My daughter will get laid eventually. Your daughter has gotten laid. Shut up. I miss seeing you. I miss you too. Why do you live here? What? It's my home. Are you gonna tell me what's wrong? You never talk about your family. I told you. Me and my mom stopped getting along. What else? That's it, really. Something you're not telling me. I introduced my bipolar brother to my drug dealer, and he ended up in the hospital. There it is. That's it. It was an accident. Well, you're the bad guy. And what happened to your brother was your fault. You did that. Yeah, I know that. Nice one. I found Elisa's journals. The sister, the one that my mom disowned. The singer sister? Yeah. She's sort of on the famous side, right? Mm-hm. Gosh, I feel so out of touch. Anyway, the journal is really, really painful... Hmm. Because I feel like all the bad stuff that happened between them... I'm so sorry, I'm just a little bit lost here. So you're... We could just change the subject. You know, talk about something else. Okay. Are you still thinking about that boy a lot? Yeah, I guess. Do you think about having sex with him? I mean, we don't really, like, know each other that well. I mean, we talk here and there. Can I see a picture of him? If you don't mind. I think I have one in my phone. Here. He looks like he does drugs. How would you know about that? Well, I am a doctor, and I have had some experiences with that in the past. A little too much, I'm afraid. It was not a good thing. Oh. Figure it out. That's what I'm gonna leave you with today. Figure it out? Yeah, figure it out. And keep taking your medication. Hey, Mom, it's Madeline. I didn't get the job that I told you about. So anyways, I'm gonna fly home tonight. I just feel like you and Lily need me right now. See you tonight. My sister Madeline is well-adjusted and therefore superior to the rest of us. This is so... great, us being together again. She annoys the shit out of me. What are you doing here? I'm moving back in for a while. Really? Oh. Don't sound so excited. Uh... We're excited. Super excited. Why don't you talk to Elisa anymore, Mom? Are we supposed to act like she doesn't exist? Will you stop? I saw her in a magazine and her website. Stop. Stop it. May I be excused? Yeah, you're excused. You need to pay attention to her, Mom. She's clearly not well. Madeline, you're not here with her. Every day, I see her. I've seen how she's progressed. She's really doing great. How's Max? I haven't talked to him in a while. I haven't spoken to him either. He doesn't return my phone calls and... Do you think he's gay? I don't have any idea about that. Elisa's diary. Elisa by the pond. A man named Frank Harper. Who are you? Max in the closet. Time travel. Elisa? Elisa? Elisa in a closet. Mom, I'm scared. Where's Max at? Max by the pond. The bad man. Love you. Love you. Don't know well if I do What I am here to do In my head Don't know well if there's Sanity or not Sanity or not Sanity or not Sanity or not Sanity or not Sanity or not Sanity or not Sanity or not Hi. Morning. Wanna go shopping or something? No, I have a doctor's appointment. Yeah? Didn't you go yesterday? Yeah. Sunday, Monday, Thursday. Wow. That's a lot. It's really good though. It's great. You seem off. Did you take your meds? Yes. I told Mom to tell you to stop asking me about my shit. Why? It's good to have support. You know? Plus, the key to you having an amazing life is medication. Is that so? Mm-hm. An amazing life? Yeah. You're the worst. Max told me he was gay once. Just me, nobody else. I was 12 and it made me feel important. Then he took it back. He asked me not to tell anyone. I never did. It's time for checks, Maxwell. Maxwell? A few days, but he doesn't want to talk to you. I'm sorry. I'll try and get him to call you later. Can you please... Max is gonna go to Elisa's. Is that okay? Yeah, it's... It's... Yeah. We are discharging him this afternoon. Thank you so much. Of course, Nancy. Thank you, doctor. I'll look forward to hearing from you soon then, right? I'm sure he'll call you later. Okay. Thank you. I think my mother's greatest fear is that Max will leave the same way Elisa did. What would she have then? What are you looking for up there? Just looking. Oh, no, no, no, I shouldn't. Thank you. What did you do that for? Because the nurses just hate it. Dan, you better stop that or you're gonna lose all your privileges. Smoking break is over, time for group. Oh, and they approved your taxi for this evening. Where are you going? Eight, seven... six. Shit. - Hey. - Hi. You seem good today. I am good. I'm better, thanks. I just... I wish that... I don't know. I'm very happy that Maxwell's safe. I just want the family I came here with... I'm entitled, I feel... I feel entitled to that, that's all. Lily isn't taking her medication. Well, what would you like me to do? I'm tired of being the grown-up. Someone is watching me, helping me. I look for signs. Everything is in plain sight. A puzzle. There it is, Harper. Harper. Miss? Hey. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. You... I'm Frank. You're Frank Harper? Yeah, this is my store. Just opened last week. You wanna come in? Thief. Excuse me? You heard me. Thank you. These are for you. Thank you. What? So last night I was, you know... thinking, and I just... That if my husband was alive, that... I thought your husband was lovely. Just so you know that. Thanks. Are you sleeping with someone? I guess that's a no. You're the only person I like. That's not hard. Hey, let's get out of here. Let's run away. Uh... Well, you're too late. I got old waiting around for you. Aah... You are very smart. I really am. Look at that. Beautiful. See, I like our little dates. Me too. I do. I look forward to them all week. Does your husband know about us? So I've been reading up on bipolar disorder. Reading up, I thought... Aren't you a doctor? Do you think you have superpowers? No. Have you been taking your medication? Yes. Do you like soap operas? What? You know, like TV melodramas? Maybe you're attracted to a dramatic environment. Have you ever thought that or like, you know, dramatic state of mind? Are you familiar with the laws of attraction? Are you even a real doctor? What's wrong? My mind... I don't know. My mind isn't safe. I don't feel like my mind is safe. How is your mind not safe? Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. Then I'm fine, but I'm not fine. And I'm... And I'm never... I'm never gonna be fine. You are gonna be fine, I promise you. You are. You're gonna be fine. Oh, no, no, no. I'm just... I'm just nervous. About leaving the hospital? What's wrong? I've been... Are you still a little shaky with the language there? No. No, no, no. Just... Everything should just be okay, I should be able to move on and be in a better place. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the way that I'm speaking right now, but it should be... If things are so bad, if things are so bad and you move through it, and you go through it, and you live through it, then everything should just be good. Things should just be good. Am I wrong? I'm alive and I... I don't belong in here. I really don't belong in here. Right? I don't. What on earth are you doing all the way out here? "I saw the best minds of my generation "destroyed by madness. "Starving, hysterical, naked. "Dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn. "Looking for an angry fix. Angel-headed hipsters." Madeline, you're liking it? You are? Okay, one more paragraph, then you go to bed, okay? "Who were expelled from the academies..." Fade away Wondering Hey, lady. What took so long? What's up? What's up is I brought you something. Nice. You know, we should, like, play a game together. Like, we could get high and play a game together. Like chess? Chess? No, like, um... truth or dare or something. With two people? Yeah, I guess it doesn't make sense. Heh. Hi, Joanne. Oh, my God, look at you. It's been so long. Wow. You are such a beautiful woman. Boobies and everything. Madeline once told me that she thought Joanne and my mom were lovers. A strange idea considering Mom thinks homosexuality is a choice. Am I the first one here? Wow. Heh. Madeline. So, what are you doing now? Um... I do... Well, I'm here, so... that's what I'm doing. Right. Gotcha. Um... What were you doing when you were my age? Uh... At your age... I had two kids. Wow. Already? Yeah, it was a different time then, but, yeah, I had just had my second child, and I had just opened my first gallery in the city, so... Yeah, I don't have a job or kids, so... It doesn't matter what I did at your age, I mean, you'll figure it out. They always do. You know? And besides, would you really wanna be living in this place when you're my age? What place is that? Purgatory. Elisa said that she was raped by Frank Harper when she was 6. That's heavy. Yeah. She said it happened, but that it didn't happen. And then the day happened again like... time travel. Sorry. I'm uncomfortable. You want to hit this? Yeah, you do. You do. Yes. Yes. Whoo! I'm gonna record my song now. Yeah. I'm not stopping you, croon away. I was just telling you. Just do it. I want you to leave. I want you to get out now. What are you...? Leave. Why? What did I do? Please. Fine. I'll give you your privacy. I don't want you to come back. Come to bed with me. Come on, let's go to bed. What? Are you gonna hit me? Baby What have you done to me? I'm frightened Can't you see? You're crazy How I'll be I know you. You do? Well, who are you? You're crazy, right? Um... You look scared. Are you scared? Are you scared? I think you're scared. It's okay. I'm scared. What the fuck? What the fuck was that? I'm not a queer. I didn't realize... I'm not a fucking queer. You're fucked. My head stings. Well, it looks a lot better now. Thanks. Heh. Can you throw these away? Yeah. I'm really sorry. It's not your fault that I got sick. Okay? I don't know. Just stop, okay? What do you wanna do now? I need you to take me home. Okay. Just like that? Yeah. I love you. I'll take you home. I was very young when our dad died. He was on his way to pick up Elisa from therapy. Why an 11-year-old girl would need therapy was beyond me, until I read about the bad man. My mom must not know about what happened to Elisa at the pond, but I do. - This is Max. Leave a message. - Mom, are you okay? Do you remember when you... traded all of your Barbies for all of Maxwell's collection of little race cars, remember that? No, I don't. I got so mad at you and I was really mad at both of you. I just didn't want... I just didn't want him to be gay. Not because I have a... Because it's not normal. It's not... It isn't... It... It's because... I didn't want him to suffer. I don't want my children to suffer. People can be really cruel. But I don't care. I just... I don't care. I just want him to... pick up the phone. And I don't know what I did. I'll be down in a minute. I can hear the inside of your stomach. I like it. Do you ever worry about... being alone? I am alone. Do you like it? No. I have to go. I'll text you later? Yeah. Maybe we can have sex... Something. What? Never mind. I'm so sorry it took me so long to come down. It was fine, I just had to talk to really boring people. Heh. Don't say that. Really long time. Please don't leave my side right now. Please? Spinning. Green. Max and Elisa. Bridge. Mom. Me. Chaos. Danger. Harper. Warning. Confusion. Panic. Oh, my God. Who is it? Who's in that car? Again, ladies, you gotta get off this bridge. Who's that? Who's down there? Ladies, I'm not gonna ask you again. Back off the bridge. Come on, come on. No! No! No, no, no. My children. Grandma? Are you here? It's Lily. I'm in trouble. Lily? Grandma? I don't know what's happening. I don't... I don't know what's happening. I need... Don't know well if I do What I am here to do In my head Don't know well if there's Sanity or not Sanity or not Sanity or... Lily, wake up. Oh, my God, I can't believe you're still in bed. Come on. You have Deborah in half an hour. Let's go. Wake up. Come on. Is that dirt? Change the sheets, please. My God, I'm not a maid service. Hey. It's sort of exciting when a lightbulb just pops out and dies like that. What? Never mind. Ahem. Sorry. Just feeling a little off. Yeah? Did you take your meds? Yeah. It's okay to feel vulnerable. Oh, fuck. Elisa. I've just had the strangest dream. What's been on your mind? I'm really tired. Maybe I should take a nap or something. Go ahead and rest. Please make yourself comfortable. I've got a great book here. That's not a book, it's a catalog. Okay. I care about my family. That's good. Because you said the other day that I didn't care about my family, but I do care and I just wanted you to know that. Why do you care what I think? I don't know. In case I die. Do you plan on dying soon? Well, my mind comes apart in fits and scatters around this dark hole. Then I ask myself, "Why am I here?" I really don't like that feeling. You're safe here, Lily. You're in this room, and you're here, and nothing bad's gonna happen to you, okay? I promise you. You're safe. Do you like soap operas? What? You know, like TV melodramas? Have you ever thought that you might be attracted to a dramatic environment or state of mind? Are you familiar with the laws of attraction? Tania? Yeah? Last night, I felt this, um... like, warm, bright light. And... It felt so real, and it just made me feel like everything is gonna be okay, you know? No. No, I don't know. And if you told your doctor that, he'd hold you here for another week. I feel okay. I really do, and I'm really sorry about what I did. I really regret it. I really do, and I wanna live. I really wanna live. All right. It's all right. Take it easy. Take it easy, kid. Come on. Yeah? What are you doing? What do you mean? Go home and talk to your mother. I'll call you later. Mom. Mom. Hey. What are you doing in here? What do you want in life? To be happy. You do? Me too. Will you read Elisa's diary? Uh... Okay. This is my job? Hook it up... Mm-hm. To the thing? Bridge closed, right? Yep. You have fought me hard All night I'll never see The light This is your hell of blues Feels like heaven So I stay I'll never get away From your hell of blues When the morning comes I cry For you to let me die I hope you do it soon Love me, take me Anywhere at all My body's yours And no one's I'm just a doll Now the best Has surely passed My soul is yours At last My hell of blues When Mom and Elisa used to fight, the rest of us would sneak over to the cemetery to talk to our dad and look at the stars. It made us feel connected to each other. You have guests downstairs. I know. They'll hate me anyway. We just decided to wait up here. I know it sucks. One day, we're all gonna be down here somewhere. I don't know. I don't know if we're ever really gonna die. Well, I've never had much luck with it. What happened to you, Max? I don't know. I couldn't face it. What? Well, suddenly, I... I saw myself the way the world sees me. You know? I'm just a... I'm a crazy, wild loser. And I... I don't have anything. I don't think that's true. How...? How did you know? What? How did you know... that he hurt me? Who hurt you? You know. I don't know. Yeah, you do. I know you do. I don't know what you're talking about. Did he hurt you? I'm so scared. Don't be scared. Oh, it's fine. Let me just get it. I have to follow the sign. It's fine, trust me. No. Look, the sign doesn't mean anything. It's irrelevant, okay? He doesn't wanna do it. Okay, fine. If you just back up and turn around, we'll take the other road. Hi. Hey. You're... You're home. Oh, thank God. You having a party? I'm really... I'm really tired. How about everyone else? Yeah. Elisa, do you want some bourbon? No. I would take some. Max, is it okay for you to be drinking? Relax. Cheers. Cheers. Are you even gonna look at me? I'm looking. I didn't... I thought you weren't... It's very, um... wet. Yeah. It is. Tell me about your music. I'm pretty famous. You could Google it. Uh, I mean... what about it? - Mom? - Hmm. Who is it? Have you heard Elisa's music? I mean, it's interesting. It's pop, but it's a dark pop. You know, like a trance, chill, sort of... I don't know. Kind of... neon, electric, but sort of, like, depression. It's fun. It's fun. What is this place? I wonder all the time. What place is this? It's just too mean. I can feel it cracking, a tragedy about to collapse. I love you. I know. It's a mutual kind of feeling. I don't know. Mm. Run away. Good night, Joanne. Good night, my friend. I feel the world coming full circle, and I'm afraid. I don't wanna go. You say that now, but if you don't come with us tomorrow, you'll wish you had. Just... Don't cry. Let's just be quiet. I just don't really know how to explain it. Can you try? I don't know. Please? I don't know what you want me to tell you. I don't... I read your journal, Elisa. Why? I didn't know what was going on with you. I didn't know... I didn't understand. What didn't you understand? About Frank Harper. What about him? I talked to Max about a year ago, and he told me what happened with him. I didn't know about Max until today. It's not that. Just didn't... Did he rape you, Elisa? I... I guess. I'm sorry. Talkin' to myself And feelin' old Sometimes I'd like To quit Nothin' ever seems To fit Hangin' around Nothin' to do... Oh, my God. Hello? Help. Help me, please. Shit. I feel like I don't know you anymore. I feel like... you know me better than everyone in this family. Feelin' like I don't belong Walkin' around Some kind of lonely clown Rainy days and Mondays Always get me down Whatever baggage we're bringing, let's grab it and put it out front. Nice to know Somebody loves me Found this for you. Funny, but it seems That it's the... You got something on your face. Where's Mom? Okay. The door. All right. You can't open the door. Is it unlocked? Yeah, it's unlocked. It just won't open. All right. All right. Help me. One, two, three. One, two, three. Oh, shit. Okay. Okay. Oh, my God. Okay. Is it bad? No, it's okay. It's just a small gash. Okay. Okay. I'm just gonna... You need to just... No, no, you need to stay conscious, okay? Okay. So just... Just... Can you tell me your name? Yeah. Frank Harper. My name's Frank Harper. Okay. Just wait. I need to go and get help. - Oh, is that you? - Yes. Is help on the way? Yeah, give me a hand. I wanna stand. No, no, no. Stay down. Okay. Okay, you're right. What were you doing here? I don't know. I got lost. I think I... Heh. I think I took a wrong turn. Do you know the Greens? No. I mean, I... I, uh, I think I knew the kids. Why? I don't know them. Really, I don't know them very well. God, I feel so dizzy. Wait. Where are you going? What are you doing? What? Look, look, I didn't do anything wrong. What? Where are you going? What are you doing? It'll be over soon. Whatever you think of me, it's a lie. Please, don't. Don't... Don't... That dress is pretty on you. What? Your dress is pretty. It's not mine. Well, it looks good on you. Everything looks good on me. That's probably a pretty good place for it. You don't feel it yet? Feel what? This lightness. You'll feel it soon. Let's go? Okay. Let's go. Mom. We are I've come apart And you made me Float like A pretty box Of your evil So tired So easy I Bleed out What the fuck Were you thinking? We are Gonna fall if you lead us Nowhere No wasted time I'll be a thorn In your side Till you die I'll be a thorn In your side For always If we sink We lift our love I'll be a thorn In your side Till you die I'll be a thorn In your side For always If we sink We lift our love We are Let me stop For a second Held heart Only beats In the evening Low tide Watching for flight I tell you To cut it out If you made me You know why The slowest spark Is a breather How high How will you decide I'll be a thorn In your side Till you die I'll be a thorn In your side For always If we sink We lift our love I'll be a thorn In your side Till you die I'll be a thorn In your side For always If we sink We lift our love So low You keep stalling Can you not see why? Say, say, say Love was Say, say, say That you see cry Say, say, say A simple call Seems right And I know why I'll be a thorn In your side Till you die I'll be a thorn In your side For always If we sink We lift our love I'll be a thorn In your side Till you die I'll be a thorn In your side For always If we sink We lift our love Say, say, say Say, say, say |
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