But, Mommy, if we're in India...
where are all the Indians?
They're not the same kind of Indians
we have in America, darling.
What kind are they then?
These are the real Indians.
The ones back home
were called Indians by mistake...
because...
when Christopher Columbus discovered
America, he thought it was India.
Then is Grandfather an Indian?
No, dear. He's an Englishman,
a colonel in the army.
You know that.
Then why doesn't he live in England?
Because Queen Victoria
transferred him here.
Will we live
right in Grandfather's house?
Why, of course.
Then we won't have to worry anymore
about the butcher and the grocer man?
No, darling.
Too bad we didn't get acquainted
with Grandfather sooner.
Look, Mommy! Look!
There's an elephant!
Are we gonna ride
the rest of the way on an elephant?
Oh, no, dear. I hope not.
Now, no more questions.
- Mrs. Williams?
- Yes.
This is Sergeant MacDuff
of the 7 th Highlanders.
Mommy, why does he wear
that funny little petticoat?
[Mrs. Williams]
Hush, dear.
Colonel Williams
sent me to meet you, ma'am.
- Thank you.
- Will you come this way, ma'am?
- There you are, missy.
- Oh, my baggage.
I have a trunk, two hat boxes-
Oh, and my mandolin.
Mandolin?
You better come with me
to identify them, ma'am.
- Can I come too?
- No, dear. You wait here.
Excuse me, sir, please, mister...
but is this where
the circuses come from?
Yes, Missy Baba. Very hot day.
Uh-
Hey, mister! You dropped this!
- Priscilla?
- Where's Missy Baba?
- Yes.
- Priscilla!
- Priscilla!
- Hey, mister, you dropped your necklace.
Hey, wait a minute.
Our rifles- Lee-Metfords.
- Where's the thieving
Pathan you got 'em from?
- Khoda Khan.
- Khoda Khan?
- Caught him, Sergeant.
Huh. Wait until the colonel
hears about this.
Take him to headquarters!
Better follow me, ma'am.
But what's a talisman used for,
Mommy?
It's a sort of sacred charm, dear.
Keep it, lassie,
and hang it round your neck.
Then they say no harm can befall ya.
Will harm befall him- that man Khoda Khan-
now that he hasn't got it anymore?
Oh, plenty of harm.
Don't fret your little heart.
That's a bad, bad character,
Khoda Khan.
Like the robbers in your fairy book.
Like
Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves?
Yes. Now, no more questions,
Priscilla.
Are there many ladies living
at the army post, Sergeant?
Not many ladies, ma'am. It's a difficult
place to live, even for a soldier.
Mr. MacDuff, is a sergeant
higher than a colonel?
Not this side of paradise.
Your grandfather's the commanding
officer of the whole caboodle here.
Is my grandfather nice?
Well, uh...
I can't say that he's exactly nice...
but, uh, he's a grand soldier...
[Clears Throat]
And I have every respect for him.
The-The men call him "Old Boots. "
- Old Boots?
- Why do they call him that?
Well, because he still sleeps in his boots
like he used to do in the old days...
when a man had to be ready
for emergencies, day or night.
- Sergeant MacDuff-
- Priscilla!
Mommy, I just want to ask
Sergeant MacDuff one more question.
How do you keep the mosquitoes
from biting your knees?
Mohammet Dihn!
Blasted parlor maid. Dihn!
Yes. Them women is here.
Fetch the luggage.
Is that Grandfather?
Mohammet Dihn! Luggage.
Come on! Luggage, luggage!
Grandfather?
Bagby.
Fetch the luggage.
Will you sit down, ma'am?
Look.
And I presume you have no recollection
of riding across the parade grounds...
like a blasted maniac, on a buffalo!
- Oh, was it a buffalo?
- Bah!
I've told you before, Brandes...
your antic behavior,
your irresponsible attitude...
is conduct unbecoming an officer.
Sets a bad example to the other men.
This is not Mayfair
or a tea party on the Thames.
You're on probation, Brandes.
All privileges revoked for 30 days.
Dismissed!
I'll, uh- I'll tell him you're here.
Hello.
Is my grandfather
always mad like that?
Your grandfather?
Oh, not always.
Only when he's disobeyed or-
or thinks he's disobeyed.
How do you do?
- The ladies are here, sir.
- Oh. Splendid.
Good man. Thank you.
Splendid.
Uh, I must see them, I suppose.
I must report, sir, that Khoda Khan
was arrested in Raj Pore today, sir.
What? Khoda Khan himself?
Caught red-handed, sir,
with a dozen of our rifles.
- Must've been hiding them in Raj Pore.
- Bah!
Of all the thieving Pathans, why must they
arrest the biggest blackguard of the lot?
- It looks bad, sir.
- Bad?
Having Khoda Khan under lock and key
is like holding a tiger by the tail.
- I'm sorry, sir.
- Sorry! The whole hill
country will be up in arms!
- I think- I think I'm gonna call you Coppy.
- Coppy?
- Priscilla!
- But why?
Because of your hair.
It's like a shiny, new copper penny.
I imagine it is pretty awful.
I like it! Don't you, Mommy?
Well, yes, of course.
Might I ask, are you here on a visit?
- No, we expect to stay.
- Oh.
Did you really ride the buffalo?
Why, yes, I- I-
- What was it like?
- Well, riding a buffalo is like-
Didn't you ever ride a buffalo?
- Come on. Climb on, and I'll show you how.
- Oh, no. I don't think she'd-
- Hold tight. Whee!
- Oh, Priscilla!
Mrs. Williams?
- Joyce, Father.
- Oh, y-yes, yes.
I, uh- I trust, uh-
I trust you had
a comfortable journey.
- Yes. Thank you.
- Ah.
What the deuce is all this?
That must be Grandfather.
This is Priscilla.
- Oh.
- How do you do, Grandfather?
Well, h-h-how do you do? Uh-
Are you- Um-
This is most irregular, sir-
Oh, please don't scold Coppy again.
It wasn't Coppy's fault.
Really it wasn't.
Coppy? Who's Coppy?
Why, uh, Priscilla has a habit
of nicknaming people.
- Oh.
- You have a nickname already, haven't you?
Priscilla!
Eh? Well-
Well, people usually
address me as "Colonel. "
That's what I was
going to call you- Colonel.
Oh, you were.
- What are you waiting for?
- Nothing, sir.
Oh, sit down. Sit down.
Coppy!
It was very kind of you to send for us.
Oh, my plain duty, madam.
Son's widow, helpless female.
I'd have sent for you years ago
if I'd known you were destitute.
I didn't want anybody to know.
- But the landlady always found out-
- Hush, dear.
I did my best to work.
Very distressing. Very distressing.
Well, you're here now.
We do appreciate it.
Mommy almost cried when she
got your letter, she was so glad.
Dear me. Dear me, dear me.
Uh, Bagby!
- Bagby!
- Sir?
Oh, there you are.
What the blazes are-
Show Mrs. Williams her quarters.
Yes, sir.
I trust, uh- I trust you'll accommodate
yourself to the life we live here.
Army post, you know.
Routine, discipline, all that sort of thing.
- Oh, we will.
- Does that mean we get
to sleep with our boots on?
- Oh, Priscilla!
- What? No, no, no. Of course not.
Huh. Boots.
Mommy.
I don't think Grandfather
likes me very well.
Oh, of course he does, darling.
Perhaps he just doesn't
understand little girls.
You see, the colonel's always
been used to soldiers.
Mommy, I want to go home.
Oh, but, darling...
this is our home.
Hey! Pump that water!
Turn out the guards! Who's it-
- Hey, Sergeant!
- Come out here!
- Let me go! Sergeant!
- You'll get your bath!
- I won't do it again!
- Give him a bath, Sergeant!
- Come on, Mott.
- Hey, Sergeant!
- Hello. What are you doing, bathing?
- Yes, sir!
Clean little chappie.
Eyes right!
Party, attention!
Present arms!
It's awfully hot for so early
in the morning, isn't it?
Have you been
standing here all night?
Can't you even
shake your head yes or no?
Priscilla,
you mustn't annoy the sentry.
I wasn't annoying him, Mommy.
The poor mars deaf and dumb.
Oh, no, dear. It's just that
he's not allowed to talk on duty.
- Come here, darling.
- Oh.
Here. You must wear this
whenever you go outdoors.
Oh, but I like it.
It's gonna make me feel like a soldier.
And remember all the things
you've been told.
I know them all by heart.
Don't eat any fresh fruit.
Don't drink any water unless it's boiled.
Don't ever go outside the army gates.
Keep out of the sun, and- and-
And don't talk to sentries.
- Good morning, Colonel.
- Good morning.
Keep that on your head
whenever you go out in the sun.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Sunstroke. Bad.
You're looking a bit
off- off color, peaky.
Oh, I-I feel all right.
Oh, want more meat on your bones.
- Ought to eat more.
- Oh, we expect to.
Oh. Do you know how to ride?
Oh, yes. Oh, but I haven't ridden
for ever so long.
Oh, here. Mohammet Dihn!
- Mohammet Dihn!
- Mohammet Dihn!
Mohammet Dihn!
- Mohammet Dihn!
- What are you shouting for like this?
- Where is that infernal parlor maid?
- Mohammet Dihn!
Dihn!
- Oh, there you are. What the-
- Yes, sir, Colonel, sahib.
Uh, get Mrs. Williams a good horse.
- She's going riding. You go with her.
- Thank you, Colonel.
Oh, uh, good morning.
- Your helmet, sir.
- What?
Oh. Ah. Thank you.
Colonel, sunstroke.
Ah, yes.
Yes, yes.
I think he's gonna like you, Mommy...
even if he doesn't like me.
- Orders, sir, from the adjutant.
- Put them inside, on my desk.
Oh, sir. I do want to thank you
for ordering me a new uniform.
[Colonel] Glad to do it, Mott.
Got a good record.
Always neat. Military appearance.
- Make a good soldier one day, won't you?
- Oh, thank you, sir!
Hello.
- Hello, Mr. Mott.
- Hello.
- Who are you?
- I'm Priscilla.
- Wait a minute, will you?
- Can't.
Orders, sir.
Thank you, Mott.
Orders, sir.
All right, Patrolman Mott.
Can't you answer just one question...
if it is about military matters?
- Well, what is it?
- How can I get to be a soldier?
- You?
- Really! It's important.
Who ever heard of a little girl
being a soldier?
Run along home
and play with your dolls...
and don't follow me anymore.
- Why, hello there.
- Oh, hello, Coppy.
How's your mother?
- She's a bit peaky.
- A bit peaky?
Yes. She's going riding
to put some meat on her bones.
I'm going riding too.
I might meet her.
Coppy, I'm kind of worried.
You are? About what?
I've gotta be a soldier,
and I don't know how to start.
Whoever put that idea
into your head?
The colonel.
You see, the colonel's never
had any little girls around.
All he understands is soldiers.
So I've decided to be one.
Then maybe he'll like me.
How do I start, Coppy?
Well, let's see.
MacDuff.
- Yes, sir.
- Good morning, Sergeant!
Good morning, lassie.
Good morning.
We've a brand-new rookie, Sergeant.
Please instruct Priscilla in the manual
of arms, the queers regulations...
and all matters appertaining thereto.
- But, sir, you- I mean-
- Why, yes, certainly. Carry on.
Company...
left turn!
Quick!
About turn!
Quick!
March!
Mother!
Elsie, did you ever?
He's with that American.
She didn't lose much time
getting her hands on him.
He didn't lose much time either.
I suppose she knows
he's coming in to the title.
- Better get a move on.
- But, Mother!
He hasn't looked at me twice
in all the time we've been here.
Well, your father
didn't look at me at first...
but here you are, Elsie.
You made a very good beginning.
Yes, but whoever heard
of a soldier called Priscilla?
Aye, that's the point.
You couldn't take Private Priscilla
very seriously, could you?
We'll have to find
a new name for you.
I got it!
I've got it.
Wee Willie Winkie.
Wee Willie Winkie?
Was he a friend of yours?
Ah, he was a lad that ran
through an old Scotch rhyme.
"Wee Willie Winkie
ran through the town. "
Wee Willie Winkie ran through the town-
He ran through the-
Well, he was a lad that was always
getting himself into difficulties.
Hmm. Sunstroke. Bad.
Was he a sergeant?
He probably would've been
when he grew up.
Party, one, two, three!
Wee Willie Winkie.
- It does sound like a soldier, doesn't it?
- Aye.
Then I'd be Private Winkie!
Private Winkie it is!
A full-fledged soldier of the queen.
Wort it be a grand surprise
for the colonel?
[Laughing]
It will indeed!
And beyond that sign lies all Asia-
Baghdad, Samarqand,
the forbidden city of Lhasa...
even the Great Wall of China.
This is the gateway to it all.
For thousands of years,
the great caravans passing through...
have been robbed
by the wild Afridis and Pathans.
Up there in those hills
is the stronghold of Khoda Khan.
Khoda Khan, the chief
they arrested in Raj Pore.
Yes.
You see that pass?
With a hundred rifles, they could
hold off our entire brigade.
I read about it in school...
but you make it sound
so thrilling and romantic.
Look, Corporal! I've got it at last.
- Got what?
- My new uniform.
- The kilt is all wool.
- Ha! Wool!
Wool from the cotton mills
of Manchester.
Good lad.
Uh, Mr. Mott.
- Wort you spend the time of day with a man?
- Why-Why, yes, sir.
- And what you got there, laddie?
- My new uniform, sir.
Aye. But you're not daft enough
to wear it like that, are you?
- Why, what's wrong with it, sir?
- What's wrong!
Why, it's got to be sterilized, lad.
- Sterilized?
- Aye, sure.
How many times have I told you that in
India, everything has to be sterilized?
The food you eat, the water you drink.
But- But not uniforms, sir.
Aye, laddie. It's a new order.
You don't want to get
the black majoobies, do you?
- The black majoobies?
- Ah, it's a terrible disease.
Aye.
Here. I'll sterilize it meself.
Oh, thank you, sir!
Aye. Aye.
McTavish.
McLeish.
McAdoo. McNab.
Oh. Well, thank you, gentlemen.
Thank you so much.
It's about done.
- Aye.
- Oh, it's properly sterilized now.
- Aye.
- Why, it's shrunk!
- Aye, it shrunk.
- Aye. It shrunk.
- All but the buttons.
- All but the buttons.
Gentlemen, you did this deliberately!
- What?
- I did-
- Did you hear what he accused me of?
- Aye, I did that.
- Of deliberately doing it.
- Tsk, tsk, tsk.
He's a bad lad.
Aye. He's a bad lad.
Of deliberately doing it.
How does it look to you, Sergeant?
Very satisfactory.
Stand at attention,
and I'll inspect you.
Keep your eyes to the front.
Take the smile off your face.
Aye. That's good.
I thought maybe I'd boiled it
a little bit too much.
- Boiled it?
- Aye. Just a military requirement.
Take this. It'll give you
a little bit more importance.
Oh, it's just elegant.
Hmm. I carved it meself.
- Thanks.
- Welcome.
Let's let the men take a squint at you.
Slope... arms!
Right, left. Turn!
Quick turn!
Military escort, halt!
Khoda Khan, sir.
Very good, Corporal.
Escort, about! Turn!
Quick! March!
This way, if you please.
Take this for me, will you, please?
- Mr. Khan!
- Hmm.
Mr. Khan. You dropped this.
Mr. Khan, here's your necklace.
May Allah bless and protect thee...
for the rest of thy days.
- Thank you very much.
- Private Winkie!
Come here!
Get under there. There.
Aw, look what you've done now!
You got your kilt all dirty.
Come here. I've a good mind to-
But he was so glad to get back
his necklace, Sergeant.
Well, it'll take more than a necklace
to get him out of that jail.
But why are they gonna
put him in jail?
Aw, because he's a black-hearted,
thieving Pathan, that's why.
But he was such a nice gentleman.
Gentleman? Pooh!
Gentleman!
Why, he'd cut your head off
as soon as look at you.
Ah-
Stay over here. Wait there, lassie.
Outside, you lazy scrubs!
Outside for a special drill!
What? Special drill?
- Whose orders?
- My orders.
- Your orders!
- Yeah. My orders!
He says his orders.
Lassie, about turn.
Donald.
That's me when I was a little baby.
Oh, I think you were just beautiful.
Party, attention!
Slope... arms!
One, two, three!
Present... arms!
One, two, three!
Snap into it, will you? Snap into it!
Take that smile off your face.
Slope... arms!
One, two!
Now, on the third syllable
of the word "turn"...
you smartly turn to the right...
snapping your left heel
against the right heel...
with the toes at the angle of 45 degrees,
approximately!
Now, smartly!
Right... turn!
Quick! March!
Left. Left. Left. Left.
About turn! One, two, three!
Left. Left. Left.
Left. Left. Left. Left.
Party, halt!
Right turn!
Quick, get in the dress there. You're always
the last man to obey the word of command!
Always the last man!
Come out in dress here.
Order! Hey.
Are you grinnin' at me?
Order!
Arms! Two!
Stand at ease!
If you persist with this
stubborn silence, Khoda Khan...
we shall never get anywhere.
I tell you fror the last time...
we are prepared to give you
your immediate release...
on condition that you guarantee
there'll be no more stealing of rifles...
no more raids
and no more plundering.
Speak up, man!
This is your last chance for freedom.
I ask nothing...
and I give nothing.
Take him away.
Escort, attention! Right turn!
Quick! March!
- Sergeant.
- Party, halt!
Sergeant,
what's the meaning of this?
Drilling in the midday sun? Huh?
- Yes, sir, I-You see, sir-
- Huh?
- Yes, sir. L-I-
- What's the matter?
- Yes, sir. I-I-I-
- Can't you talk, man?
Yes, sir.
You see, sir, I-I-
- Come on with it!
- Very good, sir.
You see, sir,
I- I thought a little-
thought a little drill
wouldn't do them any harm, sir.
The men are getting a little rusty, sir.
With your permission, General.
Party, form fours!
What's this? What's this? What's this?
Private Winkie, sir.
- A new recruit.
- Yes, sir.
Fear God, honor the queen,
shoot straight and keep clean.
Very funny.
Silence!
The rascals are pulling your leg, Colonel.
Fine soldier.
- Captain Bibberbeigh?
- Yes, sir.
I think a little polishing will remove
that rustiness in quick time.
Sergeant MacDuff
can take that party out...
for three hours extra drill.
Yes, sir.
Private Winkie's excused.
Go in and get your nap.
Sergeant MacDuff, the colonel feels...
that three hours extra drill
would eliminate that, uh, rustiness.
Form two deep.
Pipe Major Sneath will play you around.
Quick. Mark time.
Forward!
I'm sorry that Priscilla and I-
This is a cantonment
under military discipline...
and I wish that you and the child
would keep to your own quarters.
I will not have this cantonment
turned into a confounded nursery!
Dismissed. I mean, that's all.
Good afternoon.
Mr. MacLeish...
I'm a very unpopular man.
Soon we'll be up to a hundred.
Then it'll be all done.
- Then what'll we do, Mommy?
- Start another one, I suppose.
Memsahib,
Major Mrs. MacMonachie.
MacMonachie?
MacMonachie.
Show them in.
We'd better put these away.
Mommy, do you want me
to make myself scarce?
If you want to
go out and play, go on.
- I thought perhaps we might, uh-
- I was just passing.
- I'm so glad you came.
- How are you, my dear?
Just fine, thank you.
Darling, go tell Mohammet Dihn
to bring us some tea.
- Remember when you go out-
- Keep away from the soldiers. Hello.
Keep out of the sun.
Keep out of Mrs. Allardyce's petunias.
Oh! I just thought of a good name for her!
Mrs. Snoopysnoot.
Extraordinary.
Tea for memsahibs.
You always hear everything,
don't you, Mohammet Dihn?
Mohammet Dihn hears very much,
knows very much.
Knows something very sad
about your friend.
My friend? Coppy?
The one who is in the prison.
You mean in jail.
Khoda Khan.
Why you not go see him?
Khoda Khan very sad, very lonely.
But when he sees you,
his heart is glad.
Poor man.
I go now, make tea for memsahibs.
You kind little girl.
You go see Khoda Khan, huh?
- If you think it would make him happy.
- Very much happy.
All right. I will.
- You give him this.
- What is it?
Mohammet Dihn prayer.
Bring peace to his heart.
Here.
Like a brave soldier. Carry dispatch.
Big secret-just you, me.
Not let anybody know.
Oh, I won't.
I found it very difficult
to adapt myself, too...
when I first came from England.
- You know, I remember-
- The sound of those bugles
almost drove me mad.
- The soldiers were-
- Does it affect you that way?
Yes.
But I- I've an idea
it won't be so dull for you.
What do you mean?
Oh, Lieutenant Brandes asked me to tell you
that he was going to be in Raj Pore...
tomorrow afternoon...
and if you happen to be there,
just by chance, my dear-
Hello, Mr. Khan. How are you today?
Why do you come here?
I thought you might be lonesome.
You're a strange child.
Aren't you sorry now you made
all that trouble about those old rifles?
I'm sorry only because
I lost the rifles...
and my freedom as well.
But if you told the colonel you
were sorry and promised to be good...
then he'd let you out of jail.
You are sorry, aren't you?
No.
Then you'll have to stay here,
I suppose, until you are.
- Well, good-bye, Mr. Khan.
- Good-bye.
Oh.
I almost forgot.
Here. It's a prayer.
Mohammet Dihn said it would
bring peace to your heart.
Mohammet Dihn speaks the truth.
Well, good-bye, Mr. Khan.
- Private Winkie, get on off of there!
- I was just leaving.
This way. Don't let me catch you
here again. Go on here.
Sorry.
Now- Now the fundamental principles...
of the noble art of self-defense...
- is, first of all, defense.
- Aye!
Now, balance your body...
equal on each leg...
bending your knees in the center.
Now, come on. Let's have it now.
Put your left hand in front of your face,
your right hand up for defense.
Now, come on. A little spring.
Now, spring with me.
- More spring!
- Now spring with me.
Hey, hey, Donald! Donald!
Demonstrate the punch.
Aye. The punch. The punch.
Uh, Mr. MacTavish,
I'll give you an opportunity...
to clout me on the nose...
with your left hand.
You see, you never get back there.
- You see, the man has no footwork.
- You're right, Donald.
Now with the right hand this time.
Right hand. Again.
You see?
- The man left the whole
of his right side exposed.
- Aye.
Mr. MacTavish...
I'm afraid you'll never make a boxer.
Mr. MacTavish, I'm talking to you.
Excuse me.
Can't we ever play together anymore?
No, lassie.
You've got your orders,
and I've got my orders.
Can't you teach me
the manly art of self-defense?
I'd like to...
but if Old Man Boots was to catch us...
it would be very bad indeed.
Just straighten your left hand up.
Put that up for your defense.
Oh, Mr. Mott!
Oh, they're just beautiful.
What are they?
- Puppies, stupid.
- I mean, what brand are they?
You mean breed.
They're pure mongrels.
Pure mongrels?
I wish I had one of them.
Well, you can't. They're mine.
So soft and cuddly.
I'd give anything for one.
Well, what would you give?
- Will you-Will you trade?
- Well, that depends.
- I'll give you my toys.
- What have you got?
Oh, heaps.
Three dolls-
only one's got a broken leg.
And a cookstove. And a tea set.
No. Girls' things. Hmm.
I'd give you one if I had six or seven dogs,
but I've only got the two.
Can't I hold him for just a little while?
No! You're liable to get
too attached to him.
Oh, good morning, sir.
Hey, Mr. Sneath.
Will you steal me a wee dog
like a good man?
- A dog, Donald?
- Aye.
Sit up. Come on. Sit up!
There he is!
But, Sergeant, they're mine!
Yours? You're laboring under
a grave misapprehension, laddie.
They're his.
- His?
- He's the father!
You don't deny the right of a father
to his own bairns, would you?
- But- But, Sergeant!
- Look how happy he is.
There's no question
of his paternity.
But I got him from his mother.
From his mother!
- It's the father that counts.
- Aye.
It's the man that has the right to his
own sons. You ought to know that!
- Aye!
- At your age.
But can't I even have one of them?
No. You have no right
whatsoever, laddie.
But, please, sir.
Aye.
Well, if you'll swear
by the ghost of the Black Douglas-
And the unburied dead of Culloden.
- And the whiskers of William Wallace.
- Yeah.
And, uh-
That you'll promise never
to blow that bugle in my ear again...
well, uh, I'll give you the wee one.
Oh, sir, I'll promise.
I'll promise anything!
Oh, thank you, sir!
Thank you so much!
Oh, man, you did a great deed.
Come on. Sit up. Sit up.
Come on. Sit up.
Oh, Mommy, look. There's that man
eating swords again. Look.
Run over and watch him there,
and give him these coppers.
- May I, Mommy?
- Of course, dear.
Thanks.
That's the most wonderfullest thing
I've ever seen.
There's that child.
No, I don't care for any of these.
Thank you. Elsie.
Just as I thought. Disgusting!
If you had a thimble
full of brains, Elsie...
you'd have landed him yourself.
- But, Mama, I did everything you told me.
- Oh, you are anemic.
But, Coppy,
I can't openly defy him.
Why not? You're not one of
his soldiers to be ordered about...
and forbidden to do this,
that and the other.
You have the right to see whom you please,
where you please and when you please.
- And there's no regulation-
- But, Coppy, you don't understand.
I'm under an obligation to him
for sending for me- having us here.
And for making your life miserable,
I presume.
- He doesn't mean to.
- He does mean to.
He revels in it, the old porcupine.
You are coming to that dance with me...
no matter what happens.
Coppy, I'd love to, but I don't see
how I'm going to manage it.
Archie! Archie!
- No, Elsie, you are definitely anemic.
- But, Mother-
Well, your father's people were anemic.
Oh! Go away!
This nasty little dog!
Archie, you mustn't. You mustn't!
Shoo. Shoo.
Go away. Go away!
- You stop hitting Archie!
- Archie should leave things alone.
He bit me! He bit me!
He bit me.
Mama!
Well, you hit him first.
- Nothing of the kind.
- You did! I saw you.
The colonel shall hear about this.
I've been attacked.
Do you understand?
I've been attacked by a mad dog.
- Yes.
- Before I could fight him off...
the creature charged at me.
- Yes.
- Well, do you understand?
- Yes.
- Oh, Elsie, come along.
Come, Mama.
Yes.
Let go! Let go! I won't let you!
- It's the colonel's orders.
- I don't care whose orders it is.
- You let go of Archie. Let go.
- What's all this?
That letter you sent out, ordering
Sergeant MacDuff to destroy all the dogs.
- I changed it.
- You did what?
Sergeant MacDuff,
what's the meaning of this?
It wasn't his fault.
He told me you'd bite my head off.
But I don't care what you do.
It was the meanest thing
I ever heard of.
Ordering him to-
to destroy all those puppies.
But don't you know
there's a mad dog around?
Yes, sir. Archie here was awful mad
at Mrs. Allardyce.
But if she'd smacked you on the ear with
her parasol, you'd have bitten her too.
What? That ridiculous puppy?
Bagby, look at it.
Why, from what I heard,
she said it was a huge beast.
Raving mad, foaming at the mouth.
Is that what old Snoopysnoot said?
What? Snoopysnoot? Snoopysnoot!
- Oh, Grandfather,
you have the wonderfullest laugh.
- Have I?
It sounds just like an old horse
that's got the whooping cough.
What? An old horse
with a whooping cough.
Good evening, Private Bagby.
- Private Winkie.
- Good evening, Grandfather.
Come to say good night?
Yes, Grandfather.
Now, you want me
to tell you a story, I suppose.
No, if you don't mind,
I'd rather ask you a few questions.
Oh, good Lord. Don't you ever
get tired of asking questions?
Bagby, shut that noise out.
Yes, sir.
I'm very tired sometimes, but that's
the only way I can find out things.
Well, fire ahead.
You know all the stories
you've been telling me lately...
about the time you held off that detachment
of Afridis for a whole week single-handed?
Well, practically single-handed, yes.
And the time you marched
those Ghurkas across the desert...
clean through a blasted simoom.
I did not say "blasted. "
Well, dashed.
Yes, dashed. All right.
And the time you were
almost captured...
and laid 16 Waziris low
with the butt of your bally rifle.
Yes. That got me me first ribbon.
Yes. Always fighting
and marching and working.
Well, that's been my life.
Well, what I want to ask is...
don't you ever have
a good time- fun, I mean?
No time for fun.
But you have time now, haven't you?
You're not doing nothing
but sitting here smoking your pipe.
What do you want me to do?
Stand on me head?
Someday maybe.
But, Grandfather...
won't ya- can't you take Mommy
to the dance tonight?
Oh, so that's it, is it? Oh.
Oh, please. Listen.
Doesn't that music
make your feet just itch to dance?
My dancing days are over.
But Mommy's aren't.
Couldn't you take her
and just sit around like a...
uh, cauliflower?
Like a what? Uh-
A wallflower you mean. Not me.
Oh, please.
Make it a surprise.
I won't tell her a word.
- Oh, we'll see about it.
- Oh, Grandfather.
Now you pop off to bed.
You'd wheedle the whiskers off a thistle.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Bagby.
- Private Bagby!
Bagby!
Yes, sir.
- Get my Wellingtons.
- Your what, sir?
My Wellingtons, you idiot!
My Wellingtons!
Your Wellingtons?
Yes, my dress boots.
I'm going to dance.
Very well, sir. You know,
you didn't take your nap this afternoon.
Joyce? Joyce?
- Do you dare?
- But, Coppy, you're on duty
and you're not dressed.
- Oh, come on. Let's listen to the music.
- Well-
Joyce?
Joyce?
Coppy, this is so much nicer
than being in that stuffy pavilion.
Mmm. It's so fragrant out here
with the scent of the blossoms.
Yes. I shall think of it often
when I'm back in England...
- tramping over the moors in the rain-
- England!
Yes. I'm resigning my commission.
You are? Oh, Coppy.
No, I just wanted to see
the expression in your eyes.
Oh, Coppy, you're dreadful.
You do care, don't you?
No.
You idiot.
- Why, good evening, sir.
- Good evening, Beak.
- Ah, Mrs. MacMonachie.
- Why, Colonel.
- Have you brought your daughter-in-law?
- Yes. No. Um, is she here?
- I haven't seen her.
- Ah. Will you excuse me? I'll look for her.
Carry on. Carry on.
- Raiders are attacking the arsenal, sir.
- Gentlemen, your posts!
It's the arsenal!
On the double, boys.
On the double.
Give me your rifle, quick!
- Corporal.
- Sir.
Two casualties on our side, sir.
Guns and ammunition all intact.
- And the fire's under control.
- Good.
Ha! They thought they'd
catch us napping, eh?
- Prisoner, sir. I think he's a chief.
- That's good.
But, uh, Khoda Khan escaped, sir.
- Escaped?
- Aye.
So that was their game.
They've tricked us.
Tell him we'll give him the lash. We'll
give him the lash if he won't speak up.
No speak, Colonel.
- Take him out.
- Prisoner escort, attention, quick march!
Captain Stuart, one moment.
Mr. Brandes. Captain Stuart.
Telegraph Raj Pore. Have them
relay the news to the other posts...
that Khoda Khan has escaped.
Yes, sir.
Mr. Brandes, you're under arrest.
I, sir? For what?
For deserting your post, sir.
- Well, Bibberbeigh, what luck?
- They've scattered like geese, sir.
Ah! Well, you men
had better get some sleep.
- There'll be nothing more to do tonight.
- Good night, sir.
Good night.
- Colonel?
- Well?
Why did you have
Coppy put under arrest?
- You know perfectly well why.
- Yes, perfectly.
Because you've had it
in for him all along.
- He deserted his post.
- But the raid would have
occurred just the same.
You're using that just as a pretext-
uh, a technicality.
Doing everything you can
to keep us-
I am not interested now
in the affairs of your heart.
But I cannot have you interfering...
with the discipline and obedience
that I demand from my men.
Discipline? You've no heart.
All you've got inside of you
is a book of army regulations!
I've had enough of it!
I'm sorry I ever came here,
put myself under obligation to you!
Well, you won't have to
put up with us any longer-
not a single day longer!
- Why are you crying, Mommy?
- Priscilla.
What are you doing here?
Come on back to bed.
- Why are you making my mommy cry?
- Priscilla, hush.
Mommy was always happy till we came here,
no matter what happened.
Priscilla, dear.
I don't care. You've no one
to stick up for you here except me.
Making her so miserable...
just when I was beginning to think
you were nice and kind...
and liked Mommy and me.
Oh. Come here, dear.
You don't understand...
either of you.
Joyce, you've never seen
a whole regiment wiped out...
because of a blunder...
or laxity in discipline.
You've never seen death
all around you.
But I have.
Priscilla, up in those hills...
there are thousands of savages
all waiting for the chance...
to sweep down the pass
and ravage India.
Now...
it's England's duty.
It's my duty, dear...
to see that they don't.
As long as I live...
that duty is going to be done.
The only women we want here
are those who can understand that...
and respect it.
Yes, perhaps you're right.
It might be better if you did go home.
Of course, I'll continue
to provide for you. L-
I wish we could-
We can't get through to Raj Pore, sir.
The wires are cut.
- Eh? What's that?
- The wires are cut, sir.
We can't get through to Raj Pore.
Well, that means we're in for it.
Are we really going back
to America, Mommy?
Yes, dear.
And leave Coppy and Sergeant MacDuff
and Mr. Mott and everybody?
Yes, we're going back home.
That's where we belong.
- The patrol has just left for the hills.
- Oh? Who's in command?
- Lieutenant Brandes.
- Brandes? I thought
he was under restrictions.
- You ordered all men released for service.
- Ah!
I can't imagine the patrol
being in less competent hands.
However, it's done now.
Come on. Come on.
Well, what's this?
What's this? What's this?
We're leaving. We were just waiting
to say good-bye to you.
That's impossible. You can't go now.
The roads aren't safe.
You'll have to wait.
Maybe for weeks.
Then we aren't going? We'll see
Coppy again and Sergeant MacDuff?
Please, Colonel,
when is his trial going to be?
There's not going to be any trial.
He's off.
He's gone- gone on a dangerous mission.
The patrol has been ambushed, sir.
Cut out.
Ambushed? We're in for it now.
Are you all right, sir?
Did they hit you badly, sir?
Are you badly hurt, Donald?
Where did they hit you, man?
Oh, it's too bad. Those dirty dogs.
- Hello, Pipe Major-
- Not now, lassie.
Now look here, Winkie.
Keep away from these here rifles.
Corporal, what is-
Go on, Winkie. Come on. Beat it.
Hello, Sandy.
It's so sharp that a man
can shave himself with it.
- Mr. Mott.
- Hello.
- Hello, Mr. Mott.
- Hello.
Will you please tell me what
they're all getting ready to shoot?
Why, Khoda Khan of course.
Who do you think?
Khoda Khan. Why?
Just because he ran away?
Why is everybody mad at Khoda Khan?
Ha! That's a good one, that is.
"Why is everybody mad at Khoda Khan?"
Why are all the horses
getting new shoes?
So they can run fast enough
to catch Khoda Khan?
Missy Winkie, I am busy.
Go away, please.
I know somebody who will tell me.
Psst.
Can you come here a minute?
I came to call on Sergeant MacDuff.
I'm "afeered" that you can't see
the sergeant just now.
Is he asleep?
Aye.
Will you give him these
as soon as he wakes up?
Aye.
Oh, they're beautiful.
I picked them
in Mrs. Allardyce's garden.
She wasn't home.
No hope?
Oh, Grandfather, I do hope
Sergeant MacDuff's feeling better.
Yes, my dear, much better.
I'm awfully glad, because I gotta talk
to him about something- a secret.
All right, my dear.
You can go in.
- But don't stay too long.
- I won't. Thank you.
- I'm glad she came.
- Yes, he's been asking for her.
I'll take them.
Private Winkie reporting, Sergeant.
Before we commence drill...
you'll please repeat...
the recruiter's motto.
Fear God, honor the queen,
shoot straight and keep clean.
Very good, lassie.
Lassie...
will ya...
sing me...
the song once more?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne
So here's a hand, my trusty friend
And "gies" us a hand of thine
We'll meet again some other day
For the days of auld lang syne
Shh. He's asleep.
Don't you cry.
He isn't going to transfer you.
Sergeant MacDuff.
They're taking you away from me.
I want you to come back
and play with me some more.
Orderly?
- Orderly!
- It's only me.
What are you doing out of bed
at this time of night?
I couldn't go to sleep.
I've been awfully worried
about something.
- I had to come and ask you about it.
- Oh?
Well, what is it?
Why did Sergeant MacDuff
have to- have to-
I liked him. I liked him so much.
Sergeant MacDuff died
as a brave soldier should-
for his queen.
But the queen didn't want him to die.
Did she?
- Why, no, of course not.
- Then why-
Now, you're only a little child.
You can't understand.
No, I guess I don't.
That's why I came to you.
Why is everybody so mad at Khoda Khan?
Why do they all want to shoot him?
We're not mad at Khoda Khan.
England wants to be friends
with all of her people.
But if we don't shoot Khoda Khan,
Khoda Khan will shoot us.
Now come here.
Let me try and explain to you.
It's our job to keep the big pass open...
so that trade can flow through it.
- You know what trade is?
- Yes, Grandfather.
Good. And bring peace and prosperity
to everybody, even to Khoda Khan.
Couldrt you go
and explain all that to him?
It wouldn't be much use.
For thousands ofr years,
these Pathans have lived by plundering.
They don't seem to realize
they'd live much better...
if they planted crops
and traded and became civilized.
But, Grandfather, I don't want
anybody more to get killed.
Neither do I, my child.
Neither do I.
But don't worry your little head
about that anymore tonight.
- Oh, I wish something could be done.
- You run along to bed!
- Good night, Grandfather.
- Good night, little child.
- Oh, you frightened me.
- What are you doing here?
I'm going to see Khoda Khan.
Please help me get my pony.
And be very quiet.
Khoda Khan live far away.
I take you to him.
Oh, thank you.
I'm sure I'd have had an awful lot
of trouble finding his house.
Come, come.
Priscilla!
- Father, Priscilla, she's gone.
- Gone?
- Her bed hasn't been slept in.
- Eh?
- Bagby. Bagby, go to the stable.
See if the child's there.
- Yes, sir.
Then Mohammet Dihn
stole his can't and clothes.
The sentries, thinking he was the regular
driver, allowed the car to leave the post.
Then-Then Mohammet Dihn
took her away.
We found her footprints in the dust
beside the tracks of the can't.
The whole thing's clear to me now.
Mohammet Dihn's the spy.
- And he's taking her there.
- To Khoda Khan?
Sound the assembly!
Well, Mr. Khan certainly does
have a lot of steps in his house.
- Oh. Only 400 or 500 more. Come on.
- Oh, my goodness.
Khoda Khan. Khoda Khan.
Khoda Khan.
Mohammet Dihn.
It's a lovely morning, isn't it?
Khoda Khan!
- Khoda Khan.
- Speak, Mohammet Dihn.
- I bring you great treasure.
- Rifles?
No. Colonel Sahib's little granddaughter.
- You brought her here?
- Yes. Outside.
Then they will come-
colonel, officers, everybody.
Through the pass, up the steps.
A whole regiment wiped out.
Allah be praised.
Mohammet Dihn, where are you?
Mohammet Dihn?
- How do you do, Mr. Khan?
- Welcome, little one.
How do you do, Mr. Khan?
They will not harm you, my chieftains.
I didn't know it was so far.
It's a good thing I didn't come by myself,
like I was going to.
- You were coming here by yourself?
- Yes.
I decided last night
I had to see you, Mr. Khan.
Right away, to talk to you.
If you don't mind, may I sit down?
I'm awful tired.
And awful hungry too.
Now eat, and we will talk.
It's about the war.
- I want to ask you a question.
- Ask.
You don't want a lot of your friends
to be killed, do you?
No.
Then don't you think it's awful silly
to be mad all the time and fighting...
when you don't have to?
Why don't you ask your grandfather
that question?
I did, and he said he didn't want the war,
but you wanted it.
Then you would stop the war, wouldn't you,
if I could make you understand?
What is there to understand?
What my grandfather told me.
That the queen wants to protect
all her people and make them
happy and rich and all that.
It's no laughing matter!
It's true, all of it!
All you have to do is to sit down
and talk it over with my grandfather.
Please don't laugh at me, Mr. Khan.
Allah himself would laugh, my child.
Then you want to fight.
And I thought you were good.
You had such nice eyes.
And I gave you back your necklace.
Please, Mr. Khan.
Please don't have any war.
Please don't.
Between your people and mine,
little one...
there can be only war.
Then you want war! You want to fight!
You want to kill people!
Like you did my friend.
Poor Sergeant MacDuff.
Oh, I hate you. I hate you!
I think you're all very, very mean!
"We will attack immediately
unless the child is released. "
Khoda Khan!
Well, Mr. Dihn.
Zig, forward.
"Come thou.
Long has Khoda Khan waited...
to meet the British in battle
on these steps. "
- Shall we attack, sir?
- Impossible.
Shouldn't have a chance.
They'd wipe us all out.
What are you going to do, sir?
If I don't come back with Winkie,
you'll have to fight your way through.
Stuart, you'll attack left flank.
- Yes, sir.
- Brandes.
- You know what you have to do.
- Yes, sir.
Stand fast!
Grandfather! Grandfather!
Grandfather!
Grandfather!
Oh, Grandfather.
Here's one for MacDuff.
Please don't let them
shoot my grandfather.
You will not be harmed.
Khoda Khan, I-
I owe you a debt of gratitude.
You owe a debt of gratitude to her,
your granddaughter.
Incredible.
Most extraordinary.
Now we shall talk,
Colonel Williams, but quietly.
Battalion, attention!
Parades will retire...
in fours from the right!
Battalion, arms up!
Arms up!
- Private Winkie.
- Yes, Private Mott?
I'm forced to admit
that you make a very good soldier.
You-Well, you covered
yourself with glory...
and distinction on the field of battle.
Thank you, Private Mott.
Sergeant MacDuff, he would have
been very proud of you.
Thank you, Private Mott.
That means more to me
than all the other things put together.
Thank you.
Battalion, eyes left!