This is so beautiful.
You know it, Gary.
Look at her.
Do you know
what I'd like to do?
Shower with them.
Then we hit
the city, baby,
dead on,
for a little drinks,
a little nightlife,
dancing...
Dancing.
We throw a huge party,
I mean huge party...
Everybody's invited,
women everywhere.
All these girls,
they're all there.
Naked bodies everywhere.
Gary.
They'll know my name.
What?
Nobody likes us.
Nobody.
Why are you messing
with the fantasy?
We know about
the reality.
Don't ruin
the fantasy, okay?
And then,
we're a hit, man.
We're popular.
We're revered.
Man, we're studs.
When the smoke clears,
right...
those two dames
fall amazingly,
completely,
and totally in love
with us, Wyatt.
Check it out.
Yo!
Check us out!
Look, we're
sorry about...
She's alive
She's alive
Weird science
Weird
Ooh
Weird science
Plastic tubes
and pots and pans
Bits and pieces
And magic from our hands
We're makin'
weird science
Ooh, things
I've never seen before
Behind bolted doors
And imagine,
it's my creation
Is it real?
It's my creation
I do not know
No hesitations
Your heart of gold
Is flesh and blood
I do not know
Why do I know?
From my heart
and from my hand
Why don't people
understand
My intentions
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
weird science
Ooh
Ooh, ooh
Weird science
Things I've never
seen before
Behind bolted doors
Weird science
Bits and pieces
and bits and pieces
And bits and pieces
Science
Weird
Where did your
parents go, anyway?
Cincinnati.
They're meeting the guy
my sister wants to marry.
Chloe? Who the hell
would marry Chloe?
He's studying
to be a vet.
Don't make a mess.
The maid doesn't come
till Monday.
How come your parents
suddenly trust you?
Chet's coming home from
college for the weekend.
He's in charge.
Chet? Shit!
You should have
told me this
before I agreed
to sleep over.
How do you
put up with him?
If I don't, he beats the shit out of me.
It's a habit he picked
up in military school.
He's very
protective of me.
Nice relationship.
Look.!
There's nothing
to fear.
Look.
No blood, no decay.
Go on.
Fix the electrodes.
You'll have plenty
to be afraid of
before
the night's over.
The storm
will be magnificent...
All the electrical
secrets of heaven.
This time we're ready,
Fritz.
Let's have
one final test.
Throw the switches.
Here in this machine,
I have discovered
the great ray
that first brought life
into the world.
Here's
the final touch...
the brain
you stole, Fritz...
The brain of a dead man
waiting to live again
in a body I made.
It's not a bad idea.
What?
In 15 minutes,
the storm...
Making a girl.
Actually making a girl...
just like Frankenstein,
except cuter.
Nobody must come here.!
Don't touch it.!
Sorry, Doctor.
You're serious.
Yes.
Look me in the eyes.
Do I look serious?
You're crazy.!
Crazy am I?
We'll see
whether I'm crazy or not.
Gary Wallace,
that's absolutely gross.
I'm not digging up
dead girls.
I'm not talking about
digging up a dead girl.
I'm talking about
your computer, idiot.
You can simulate stuff
on your computer.
Why can't we
simulate a girl?
I guess I could,
but why?
It's two-dimensional
on the screen.
It's not
flesh and blood.
But we can
ask it questions.
We'll put it in
real-life sexual situations
and see how it reacts.
Well, what about
your girl in Canada?
She lives in Canada.
She has no morals.
I don't like that
in a girl.
Anyway, get to work.
Very nice.
Hold it, Wyatt.
I know female stats.
Anything bigger
than a handful,
you're risking
a sprained tongue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Okay. Now what?
Should we give her
a brain?
Yeah. We'll play chess
with her.
Chess? Just give her
a brain.
That's all we can do
with my stuff.
Did you get a free
toaster with this, too?
The problem is,
this is a lame idea.
Your computer
is a wimp.
We need
a lot more power.
What do you suggest?
We're in.
We're in trouble, Gary.
This is highly illegal.
We got to fill this thing with data.
We'll make her
as real as possible.
I want her
to live, breathe.
I want her
to aerobicize.
Live.!
All Dave, all night.!
We know what you need
only right here
on Dave TV!
It's moving,
it's working.
It's working
by itself.
I lo mee li I lo la la mala kroo
kara kara chal
do le mo le lo...
But, Gary...
by the way,
why are we wearing
bras on our heads?
Ceremonial.
You ready?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Turn it off!
It is off!
Hang up the phone!
Wyatt,
what's going on?
I don't know!
Unplug it!
Oh, shit!
Arf! Arf!
No!
It's a birthday present!
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
Let's get this thing
out of your house!
You get it out!
This is
all your fault!
I'll get it out!
Whoa!
What the hell is it?
Oh, shit!
One, two, three.
She's alive. Alive.!
Uhhhhh.
So what would you little
maniacs like to do first?
You guys created me.
I didn't come
from anywhere.
Before you messed around
with your computer,
I didn't even exist.
By the way,
you did an excellent job.
Thank you.
Hello?
Isn't showering real fun?
If we're going to have
fun together,
you guys
had better loosen up.
What're we gonna
do with her?
We'll just go
with the situation.
By Sunday, you'll
think of something.
You're
a very bright guy.
I'm just
being practical.
I know.
I appreciate it.
Let's go.
What about
this mess?
Clean it up
tomorrow.
Okay, but don't get
B.O. on Chet's suit,
or he'd kill me.
Where are we going?
We're going
downtown and...
Oh, my God!
Whose stuff is this?
Is that yours?
Gary, I don't know...
What is
going on here?
I don't know!
You look good, though, okay?
Did you steal
this car?
No.
How did you get it?
I can get
anything I want.
Right now,
I want to party.
Party?
Yeah. Think up
a name for me.
What name
do you want?
You think of one.
Lisa.
Why Lisa?
Why not?
He used to like
a girl named Lisa.
Oh, yeah?
Old girlfriend?
She kicked him
in the nuts.
Will you shut up?
It wasn't
your fault.
All you said was
hello to her.
Shut up!
Guys, I like Lisa.
That'll do just fine.
You guys
ready to rock?
Ready.
Ready.
Lisa?
Yeah?
I don't think
we belong here.
Don't be silly.
It's a public place.
We'd both
love to stay,
but we're not 21.
You're 21.
Maybe you'd feel better
if you mingled.
We don't mingle, okay?
Then we'll invite these people
to your house
and we could all
mingle there.
We'll mingle.
We'll mingle.
Hi, dudes.
Well, goddamn!
Listening to
this blues music
reminds me of my own
trials and tribulations
as a young guy.
My folks
really dump on me.
You guys get along
with your parents?
I guess you guys
moved out by now.
Uh, what's this, sir?
Drink it.
That's a very
sweet thought,
but I really don't...
Until now.
See you guys
in the emergency room.
Pretty lady,
what's a beautiful broad
like you...
doing with a malaca
like this?
It's purely sexual.
No shit.
She's into
malacas, Dino.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
She's into malacas!
Do you believe that?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
You can
say that again!
Fats, man, let me tell you
my story, man.
Last year,
I was insane for this
crazy little 8th-grade bitch.
Crazy insane?
Insane?
Crazy?
I was nuts
for the woman, man.
I'm tellin'
the truth here.
I was nuts for the girl.
She had big titties.
She wouldn't have had
to worry about no titties
for the rest of her life.
That's the truth.
I called her every night
for like a month.
Every damn night?
Every night, Mitch.
On the telephone?
What's this boy talkin'
about, on the telephone?
Explain it
to him.
We know
there's a telephone.
But he hung up
on her.
The chick with
those big titties?
You know what
the bitch did to me?
Lay it on me.
Listen...
She kneed you
in the nuts.
She did what?
Bitch kneed your nuts?
Bitch kneed my nuts!
In the family
jewels?
In the family jewels, man.
Broke my heart in two.
She broke more
than your heart.
Forget
that other one.
You got this fine jewel sitting by you.
Ain't that the truth,
baby?
That's the plain truth!
Party's over.
Party's over,
says the girl.
Here's money for you...
$50 for you,
$50 for you.
I'll bet $5 that boy won't
make it through the club.
Woo, baby
You know I love you
I really shouldn't
be driving.
Listen,
I appreciate it.
I don't feel
like driving.
Okay, forget it.
I'll drive.
Give me the keys!
Will he
be all right?
I warned him about
that blind dog bourbon.
He don't have
a license.
I don't even have
a learner's permit.
Hey, let's scout
another party, man.
What will you
tell Chet about me?
Nothing.
Nothing?
That's not very
realistic, Wyatt.
I'm just trying to
concentrate on the road.
Concentrate harder.
You're running
a red light.
Oh, shit!
I hate that stuff!
I never listen to it!
I hate this car!
Are you okay?
My nuts
are halfway up my ass.
Other than that,
I'm perfect.
Think of what
you'll do about Chet.
He's one serious idiot.
You're stewed, butt-wad!
Who, me?
Know what time it is?
Uh, 2:00?
Time to pay the fiddler.
I was kind of
counting on you
to be human about this.
Here's the
bottom line, Wyatt.
I'm telling Mom and Dad
everything.
And I'm even considering
making up some shit.
All right, Chet.
Name your price.
$175 and zero cents,
cash...
New bills,
crisp and clean,
in my wallet by 7 A.M.
Thank you.
Hey, what are
big brothers for?
See you upstairs.
How to be jilted.
Pllllttt.
Shh.
The boozehounds return.
What a joke!
Hi, girls.
Feeling kind of queasy?
How about a nice
greasy pork sandwich
served in
a dirty ashtray?
He pukes, you die.
He's not laughing
at you, Chet.
Yes, I am.
Did you tell Chet about
the woman we made tonight?
He's drunk.
No shit.
No shit, Chet.
You donkey dicks couldn't
get laid in a morgue.
You're absolutely right.
You're absolutely
right, Chet.
Hey, Gary.
What?
Ha ha ha ha!
He's an asshole.
Look at his haircut.
Anybody with
a haircut like that
is an asshole.
Psst. Lisa.
Where are you?
I'm right behind you.
Surprise!
I won't hurt you.
Your lips feel like
rigor mortis has set in.
Relax a little bit.
I wasn't expecting you
to kiss me.
I mean, I was just...
I was... uh...
Oh
That was better.
Want to try it again?
If you don't mind.
I mean,
yes, please, ma'am.
Oh oh oh oh
Oh
Mmph!
You sure
you're only 15?
I'll be 16 in June.
You made me.
You control me.
What are you
thinking about, huh?
Um...
women's gymnastics.
Well, I don't know.
I'll do my best.
Good.
Oh.
Wyatt, Wyatt,
Wyatt, where are you?
I'm right here, Gary.
What happened?
I don't know.
I think
it was a dream.
What?
Everything...
Last night, Lisa.
It had to be a dream.
We were both in it.
Two people can't have
the same dream.
It had to be a dream.
In your dream,
did I get up in the middle of the night
and yak
in your sink?
Didn't throw up. No.
Maybe it was a dream,
you know...
A very weird, bizarre,
vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream.
Maybe we have malaria.
Shit.
Gary! Wyatt!
Breakfast.!
I don't
have the bucks
to pay Chet off
about this.
You can't fear Chet
the rest of your life.
Why not?
Please...
I don't know, Wyatt.
I mean, it's seriously
affecting your sex life.
10 seconds into
my gymnastics routine,
you passed out.
You slept.
I did my toes.
By the way,
you're very cute.
We'll try it again
sometime.
Good morning,
turd brain.
Hi, Chet.
You spit in this?
Not that
I'm aware of, no.
Hey, that looks
pretty good.
Now make yourself one,
dick weed.
I like your panties.
It's a joke, Chet.
That's not a joke!
That is a severe
behavioral disorder.
Those are women's
underpants!
Next you'll be wearing
a bra on your head.
The old man's
going to have a stroke.
All right, Chet.
How much?
How much?
This goes way beyond
payment, pal.
Come on, Chet.
Please?
Well...
your VCR
should cover it...
for openers.
Thank you.
For Christ's sakes,
will you cover yourself?
You guys looking for
something for your mom?
I really don't
think so... Sue.
Do you guys have,
uh... girlfriends?
One does not refer to
a 23-year-old woman
as a girlfriend.
Uh, mistress, Gar.
Um, lover.
Sexpot.
She's a sexpot.
You guys are the ones that got beat up
at the homecoming
game, right?
Do you think
you could wrap up
a bottle of
this scent for me?
Um, two.
Set yourself up
with one, too.
Three scents, please.
If you were
a 15-year-old boy,
would these
turn you on?
I think so, too.
I'll take them.
Do you have a bra
to match that...
something leather,
rubber, or barbed wire?
Give me a break.
Check it out.
What?
Five bucks?
Finsky.
Max, what
will you do?
For the first time
in my life,
I don't feel like
a total dick.
Yeah, me either.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha.!
Sorry, boys.
Momentary loss
of motor control.
You guys getting
tired of this?
There's a big
white sale going on...
at Towel World!
We're not impressed.
Can I have some
of that, please?
Their shit bores me.
Should we dump them?
We've been with them
three months.
We've been
to all the parties.
We won't go
to any more parties.
We'll go into
a social coma.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Let's give them
another chance.
Okay.
Will you
forgive us?
Oh, you guys.
What will
we do with you?
Excuse me!
We got her,
we got her.
Hey!
Hey.
Hi.
That's Ian.
This is Max.
We call him Mad Max.
I saw you
on the escalator.
You were looking
at us, right?
Yeah.
So what
are you doing?
Nothing.
I'm waiting
for my ride.
Lis,
come on, hon.
We're late.
Honey, move.
Speak
to you later.
She likes the rough stuff.
What can I do?
There's a party tonight
at Wyatt's house.
You can find his name
in the students' directory
under Donnely.
Pass the word around.
Party?
Don't ask.
You'll have a heart attack
by the time you're 40.
Learn to relax.
Have you tried
inversion boots?
Lisa, you don't
understand my parents.
What's there
to understand?
They're oppressive,
meddlesome,
difficult, demanding,
and totally bizarre.
They're normal parents.
Go get dressed.
Lisa, I created you.
Why do you do things
I don't want?
You and Gary want friends,
you want popularity,
you want
all that stuff, right?
I thought about it.
Sure, but...
So I'm
giving it to you.
Thank you,
but I don't want it
in my house.
If you want to be
a party animal,
learn to live
in the jungle.
Now go get dressed.
I'll pick up Gary.
I can't wait
to meet his parents.
Do you go
to Gary's school?
Do I look like
I'm in high school?
No.
She's a foreign
exchange student.
They have a different
educational system
happening
around the world.
You look very...
mature.
Doesn't she?
I was thinking
the same thing.
What do you do
for a living, Al?
I'm an independent
businessman.
My dad's a plumber.
He's into plumbing.
I guess you plumb,
right, Dad?
Yeah.
I think
it's time to go.
You ready?
Where are you going?
To a party.
To a movie.
Movie party,
is what it is.
No. I've whipped up
this nasty soiree
at his friend
Wyatt's house.
Soir what?
Soiree, honey.
I think
that means party.
Party.
There's going to be
sex, drugs, rock n' roll,
chips, dips, chains, whips...
Your basic high school orgy.
I'm not talking
candle wax on the nipples...
Just hundreds of kids
running around in their underwear
acting like animals.
I've heard enough!
Gary, get to your room!
Yes, sir!
It's okay.
I'll handle this.
Girlie, get out
before I throw you out.
Don't threaten me, Al!
You're out of shape.
I'll kick your ass.
I'm going to make this
real easy for you.
I'm taking Gary
to a party.
Over my dead body.
He's a good kid.
He studies hard.
If anybody
should be bitching,
it should be Gary.
You ever compliment him
on his grades?
Or on anything?
Hey! Hey!
Compliments
embarrass me.
Shut up!
Shut up!
It's so sad that your son's
only sexual outlet
is tossing off to magazines
in the bathroom.
Oh, Gary!
I never tossed off!
You said you were
combing your hair.!
I was!
Gary, shut up!
Water's running
all day.
Shut up!
I never tossed off!
And you wouldn't tell
your own mother!
Shut up!
This guy
deserves a party.
Look, I don't know
who you are,
what you are,
or where you came from,
but I'm not taking
any more of this.
Dial the police, Lucy,
and give me the phone.
I'm going to get the...
Give me the phone.
Well, here it is.
Jesus, God.
Oh, Christ.
Oh, Lord God.
Oh.
Whoa.
Go ahead...
make your day?
I'm sorry it has to
come to this.
Come to what?
Cheer up, or I'll
blow your face off.
Don't be
such an old lady.
Everything's cool.
Everything's cool!
My dad's going to
castrate me.
My mother almost had
a cardiac arrest.
I'll be grounded
till I'm 45.
Other than that,
everything's great.
Couldn't be better.
Trust me for once,
will you?
They don't know
what happened.
Did you think
Gary was acting a little
strangely this evening?
Gary?
Who's Gary?
Lisa, promise me things
won't get out of control.
Don't worry.
You're just having
a few friends over.
I don't have
any friends.
He doesn't.
Boy ain't lying.
You do now.
Hi.
Hi! Hi! Hi!
Party.!
Party.! Party.! Party.!
Standin' here
by the window
Starin' out
at the night
Gotta save me
from troubles...
Oh, baby
It's gonna work out fine
You heard the sound
of footsteps
Swinging across the floor...
Ho!
How you doing?
Where's the bar?
Bar!
Do you think they'll
embarrass us tonight?
Yeah.
Caviar?
If Max and Ian
see her,
it's over for us.
How's your stomach?
Better.
If you're gonna float an
air biscuit, let me know.
Float a what?
If you fart,
I'll hit the fan.
Sorry. I suffer
pain and discomfort
due to occasional
stomach upset.
We always talk about
how great it would be
if we went to parties.
Now it's our party, hundreds
of people are having fun,
and we're in the John.
You're as uptight
as I am.
Nobody can be
as uptight as you.
Your middle name
is tense...
Wyatt "Tense Up"
Donnely.
It's not that bad.
We can hear the music.
Maybe if we put
our noses to the door,
we can smell the food.
Hey, brother!
What's happening,
my main man?
Right on!
Scotch.
Straight up?
Give me
the whole bottle.
Bend over.
I'll shove it
straight up your ass.
On the rocks is fine.
Ha ha ha ha!
Yeah, that's what
I thought you'd say.
There she is.
You deal
with the drinks.
I'll kill the girls.
I wonder
if Lisa's having fun.
Lisa could have fun at
an insurance seminar, Wyatt.
The thing
that really galls me
is that she's ours
and we can't
get close to her.
Hit the fan.
This is the best party
I've ever been to.
It's great!
Whose house is this?
It's probably that girl
with the English accent.
She doesn't have a zit
on her whole body.
She has zero fat.
And she's so relaxed.
She burped
and it was charming.
Uh, yeah.
The bathroom.
Ladies.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
I can't believe you.!
You're dropping
wolfbait
and chicks are outside.!
Light a match!
Light a fire!
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
We thought there were
just girls in there.
It's just us dudes.
Why are you here?
Gary was just
taking a shit.
I meant...
What are you doing
at the party?
Oh, it's my house.
This is your party?
We like to do this
once a week,
throw little
get-togethers.
Haven't you guys
been by?
How did we
miss these two?
So many people,
so many parties.
So many parties.
You lose track.
Can I come in
and check my face?
What's wrong with it?
Can we come in?
Come on in.
Sure. Be our guests.
Thanks, guys.
We've seen you
at school,
but we've never met.
You're Hilly.
You're Deb.
Hi. I'm Gary.
Hi, Gary.
What have you guys
been doing...
I didn't know you guys
had so many friends.
Neither did we.
Who's the girl
with the accent?
I thought
this was her party.
You mean the sensuous
sex symbol type?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's with us.
She's with... you guys?
Come on, Lisa.
Why not?
Because I belong
to Gary and Wyatt.
Did they make you in the
garage with power tools?
Do they own you?
Control you?
Seriously.
Seriously.
They're toads.
Do I look like
I'd go out with two toads?
You do.
Gary and Wyatt
will force everyone
to redefine their terms.
And you're completely
loyal to them?
I do whatever they say.
Hi.
Could you excuse us
for a minute, please?
No problem.
We'll be in here.
Okay, fine.
They're stoked
for us.
Should we go for it?
What about Lisa?
She said we should party.
Let's score points
with these two.
We'll deal with
the mechanics later.
Sounds good.
Let's not hurt
Lisa's feelings.
She wants
a bone job from me.
Ready to party?
Let's break!
Those guys are weird,
but they're kinda cute.
Hi.
Where did you two
disappear to?
We were in the bathroom.
We were in the kitchen.
Eating.
Doing our hair.
Have you met
Gary and Wyatt?
Yes.
No.
Sort of.
If you get the chance,
shower with them.
I did.
It's a mind scrambler!
Oh, hurts so good.
She took a shower
with them.
I have a wonderful
idea, Henry.
After dinner, let's
stop by and visit Wyatt.
He's alone
at home tonight.
Doesn't he have
anything to read?
I don't know, dear,
but nothing's more
important to a teenage boy
than his grandparents.
We'll drop by.
Ha ha ha!
Yeah! Woo!
I'd like to apologize
for the Ice today at the mall.
It was very immature.
I'm sorry.
It was just,
like, tomfoolery.
We are sorry.
It happened.
What's the deal
with Lisa?
Can we borrow her?
We can't do that, guys.
Common decency
prohibits us.
We can't.
It's not cool.
Well, she said
it was cool.
We can't take advantage
of her loyalties.
That's really
selfish.
Just forget it, guys.
We can't do it,
you know?
Come on.
Quit being pricks.
Hey, come on.
Regardless of what
she may have told you,
our feelings for Lisa
run very deep.
So do ours
for Deb and Hilly.
It's respect, the time
you spent together.
You guys deserve them.
We want to make
a deal with you.
Let us have
a crack at Lisa
and Deb and Hilly
are yours.
Can you guys
keep a secret?
Sure.
A secret?
Look again.
It's Gary.
No, no.
It's our boy, Gary.
He's our
I don't know
what the hell you're
talking about, Lucy.
I feel
like an asshole.
This had better work.
This is just
the blueprint.
You like it?
Bigger tits.
Bigger tits.
Go, go, go, go!
Give him
the knee shooters.
What the hell's
going on here?
Excuse me, Arthur.
It's Art.
Excuse me, Art.
Oh, shit.
Aah!
Weird
Weird science
Eddie and Grandpa
are working on
a new project.
They're working on
a robot.
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
What's going on?
Turn this thing off!
You'll love it!
I'm shitting
in my pants!
Weird science
Ooh
Weird
Ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
weird science
Ooh
Ooh
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Whoa!
Aah!
Aah!
It worked.
You had to be big shots,
didn't you?
You had to show off.
People will like you
for what you are,
not for what
you can give them.
In your race
for power and glory,
you forgot
one small detail.
We forgot to
hook up the doll.
You forgot to
hook up the doll.
Something's going on here, Carmen.
I have a feeling
we won't approve, Henry.
A missile!
A missile
in my house, Gary!
This puppy's
for real, all right.
It was an accident.
It happens...
Accident my ass, Gary!
My parents and Chet
will freak out!
They'll shit egg rolls.
Get out!
Get out! Scat!
Out! Disgusting tramps!
You, you, you...
hosers!
Out! Out!
Stop that!
You shouldn't walk
into somebody's house
and hit people
with your hat.
This is
my daughter's home.
Who are you?
I'm a close personal
friend of your grandson's.
Henry,
call the police.
I'll have you
incarcerated.
Here's the deal...
Gary and Wyatt... they
created me on their computer.
I'm not going to listen
to this baloney.
He doesn't stand
for baloney.
Do you mind waiting?
I won't be a moment.
Have you ever?
Never.
Wyatt, your grandparents are downstairs.
Okay. Thanks, Lis.
Lisa!
Yes?
Where are
my grandparents?
Your kitchen
is blue.
Want to try one?
Where are
my grandparents?
They're all
taken care of.
You're going to
love this one.
Are they all right?
They're fine.
They're
better than fine.
They're not aging
anymore.
See? They're smiling.
If any more of his relatives drop by,
we'll be upstairs
in the bathroom.
Those guys really need
some self-confidence,
a challenge...
Something that'll bring out
their inner strength
and courage.
I'm so bloody clever.
Now!
Aaah!
Aaah!
Aaah!
Arrggghhh!
Ha ha ha ha!
This Bud's for you.
Arrggghhh!
This party's lame, Max.
What about the girls?
Girls, shmirls.
Aaah!
Aaah!
Lisa.!
What's going on?
Aaah!
Arrggghhh!
Aaah!
Oh!
Oh!
Gary!
Gary, listen to me.
There are motorcycles
in my house!
There are killer mutants
in your house, okay?
Screw the house.
Screw the house.
Aaaaahhhh!
Ha ha ha ha!
Guys, you have
uninvited guests.
Ask them to leave.
They're getting
pretty rowdy.
Ha ha ha ha!
This is
an excellent chance
for you to prove your
bravery and courage.
Those are outdated concepts.
Don't let John Wayne
hear you say that.
The man is dead!
So are you if you don't
deal with this situation.
No, thanks.
No, thanks.
Gary, do you feel
like a chicken?
If I could shoot an
egg out my ass, I would.
Will all these people
think we're cowards?
I don't know.
We can deal with shame.
Death is
a much deeper issue.
Aah!
Aah!
Grrr.
We'll get you guys
some drinks.
You look like
a scotch man.
Arrggghhh!
Is this your party?
Uh... well, kind of.
I don't know if
you can call it a party.
It's, um,
just a few friends.
How come two unpopular dicks like you
is having a party?
I don't know.
Dicks sometimes do
the weirdest things.
I don't know.
How would you like
all your friends here
to know that you wear
a bra on your heads?
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha!
Tossed off into any good
books lately, have we?
Ha ha ha ha!
You two can't even
take a shower
with a beautiful woman
without wearing
your jeans!
Ha ha ha ha!
You!
Come here!
Now!
Grrr.
Yah!
Ha ha ha ha!
Aah!
Oh!
Haaa!
Prepare to die,
Wyatt.
I can't wait to die.
We're gonna kick...
ass.
Okay. This is war.
Hands off the girls.
Leave the girls
out of this.
Ha ha ha ha!
I said hands off!
Now.!
Ah... ahh!
Hee hee hee hee!
Why don't you
shut up, bitch?
And as for
your ugly ass,
you don't come into
my friend's house
with your faggot friends,
driving your motorbikes
all over his floors,
stinking up the place...
and you do stink.
You're going to
let go of the girls
and apologize
to all these people.
Get on your bikes.
Pedal your ugly asses
out of here.
Ha ha ha ha!
We're gentlemen,
so we'll give you a choice.
You can
leave in peace...
or you can stay and die.
Ugh!
The choice is yours.
Aaaahhhhh!
Get out of here.
Beg your pardon.
Your home is lovely.
Terribly sorry.
Call me.
We'll have lunch.
Can we keep this
between us?
I'd hate to lose
my teaching job.
God bless you.
I can't believe it.
Is everyone all right?
We're heroes.
We showed
these guys down.
You and me saved
all these people.
This could mean a guest
shot on Phil Donahue.
This is exciting, man!
Where did you
get that thing?
It's a squirt gun.
Aah!
That's my boys.
Crimson morning skyline
Whoa oh
What a weird night, huh?
You really weren't
afraid of those guys?
I was scared.
But what could I do?
I probably shouldn't
ask too many questions
about tonight.
Probably.
Since this is
a night of weird shit,
can I ask you
something strange?
Would you kiss me?
What about Ian?
We all make mistakes.
Okay.
Where do you want it?
Can I ask you
a question?
Yeah.
How do you feel
about Lisa?
I love her.
That's what I figured.
But, uh...
it's definitely a
different kind of love.
You know,
it's more sisterly,
like big sisters,
like, kind of.
But she's
so beautiful.
Yeah, she's
really beautiful.
And her body is...
it's gorgeous.
It's a nice figure.
So...
I mean, what would I be compared to her?
Deb, Lisa is everything
I ever wanted in a girl...
before I knew
what I wanted.
I know that if
I could do it again,
I'd make her
just like you.
Honest.
Dead honest.
I'm like... I'm really honest
when I say that.
I'm so very honest.
I mean that.
What the hell?
Ucch.!
That little bastard.
If my room's okay,
I won't kill him.
I'll just hurt him
real bad.
Freeze.
Chet!
Where's my brother?
Ow.
Uh...
I don't know.
You're dead meat,
pilgrim.
Uh...
Chet, Chet,
that's her nose.
She has nothing
to do with it.
Okay. You die.
She walks out of here
with a severe limp.
I'll be back.
That's Wyatt's
older brother, Chet.
He's an asshole.
Oh, hi, Chet.
What the hell's
going on around here?
Chet, it was
an accident.
An accident?
Do you realize
it's snowing in my room,
goddamn it?
Some weird shit
happened, Chet.
It doesn't take a genius
to figure that out,
monkey dick.
Start talking.
Gary and I made a
woman with the computer.
She went crazy and
messed up the house.
Don't smart-mouth me,
you shit!
Leave him alone.
This is a family
matter, bimbo.
Chet, just let me
find Lisa.
She'll clear
everything up.
You can have
my college money
and my social security,
Chet.
So you guys think
you can fool me, huh?
Huh?
You've synched everybody
to the same bullshit story.
This is
a Pershing missile, Chip.
My name is Chet.
And I didn't think
it was a whale's dick, honey.
Hi, Nanny.
Hi, Grampy.
I'm not a moron.
I...
Was that
my grandparents?
Are they dead?
No. They're
just resting.
What are they
doing in here?
I put them in there.
They weren't having a very
good time at the party.
Do you think
they're having a good time
catatonic in a closet?
Do you have any idea
how disrespectful that is?
I wouldn't give
a squirt of piss
for your ass right now.
You guys
get the girls home.
Wyatt,
take the Porsche.
Gary, take the Ferrari.
The Ferrari?
I want to be alone
with Chet.
Good to see you.
Get out of here!
Take your little
hussies home!
I want to get to
the bottom of this,
A.S.A.F.P.
Oh, so do I.
First, I'd like to
butter your muffin.
Why must you be
such a wanker?
Because
I get off on it.
I want you to
keep your big mouth shut
about everything
that's happened here.
Treat Wyatt and Gary
with dignity and respect.
Oh, really?
Yeah. Really.
I can be
a real serious bitch...
if I don't get
what I want.
Ooh. Hit me
with your best shot.
How fast
are you going?
About 35.
Wait.
This can't be right.
Are you looking
at the RPMs?
No. I'm looking at
about 50 tickets.
Bye!
This happens
every time!
Oh, my. Whew!
That was great!
You son of a bitch!
Al, Al!
Al, that was Gary!
Who is this
Gary character?
I had a great time
last night.
I'll probably be grounded
for a month or so, but...
I'll wait for you.
Oh
Mmph!
Mmm.
Whoa
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Hilly!
I love you!
All right!
I want to thank you
for a great night.
Same here.
I have kind of
a confession to make.
I'm really
not this cool.
That's not my car.
This is not my suit.
Those people
weren't my friends.
Why are you telling me
all of this?
Because I want you
to like me
for what I am.
Whatever you are,
I like it.
Whew!
Well, I'd better
get going.
Wyatt and I still
have to deal with Chet.
Quit screwing around!
This isn't funny,
you stupid bitch!
Careful, Chet.
Don't make me angry.
Sorry.
That's better.
Turn me back
to normal.
I haven't done
anything to you.
You've done plenty
to your brother.
Like what?
You've nagged him,
harassed him...
Huh, me?
Supressed him,
extorted money from him.
It was done
out of love.
I should give you
a set of elephant balls.
Heeagghh!
Promise me you'll leave
Wyatt and Gary alone,
and I'll change you back.
Oh, all right.
Shake on it, huh?
No, thanks.
I'd rather not.
Wait!
Where are you going?
I have to
go and get changed.
What about me?
The effect
will wear off, okay?
Well?
I'm in love.
Isn't it great?
The best.
I'll tell you what.
Things are
turning around for us.
I mean it.
Okay, what about Lisa?
We'll have
a talk with her.
Think she'll understand?
I think so.
I sure as hell wouldn't
want to date you.
You're not my type.
Chet?
Chet?
Hi, dudes!
I'm sorry, Wyatt,
for being a shit to you
all these years.
And gee,
I want you to know that...
I love you.
Blech!
Ha ha ha ha!
That's nasty, Wyatt.
That's Chet, Gary.
Hey, hey.
Mmm.
Mmm!
Oh, my God!
Lisa?
In here.
Lisa.
Yeah?
You saw Chet?
Yes, I did.
You're
responsible?
Yes, I am.
Lisa, we can't
have him like that.
It'd ruin Christmas.
He'll be fine
in half an hour.
He won't
spoil Christmas.
And he won't bug you
anymore, either.
Um, Lisa, we have to
have a talk with you.
What's on your mind?
I really don't know
how to say this.
You guys found
girlfriends, right?
Fell in love
with two girls.
They fell in love
with you.
That's all I ever
wanted for you.
You're not hurt?
Yeah, sure I'm hurt.
But I wouldn't
change it.
I'm really
just getting off
seeing you guys
straightened out.
I have to go.
Oh.
I've had
a wonderful time.
Lisa.
Bye.
Boys?
We're home!
Hi, Mr. Donnely.
How are you?
Hi, honey.
Dad, hi.
No, no, no.
What did you guys
do this weekend?
Not much.
Hung around the house.
Daddy thought
you might throw a party
or do something nutty.
Not us.
Not here.
No way.
No way.
Shh, shh, shh.
Okay.
Drop and give me 20.
She's alive
Weird science
Weird science
Plastic tubes
and pots and pans
Bits and pieces
And magic from our hands
will make it
Weird science
Ooh
Plastic tubes
and pots and pans
Bits and pieces
and bits and pieces
And bits and pieces
It's my creation
Is it real?
It's my creation
Ooh, my creation
It's my creation
Weird
Ooh
Weird science
Ooh
Magic and technology
Voodoo dolls and chants,
electricity
We're makin'
weird science
Fantasy and microchips
Bits and pieces
and bits and pieces
And bits and pieces
It's my creation
Is it real?
It's my creation
I do not know
No hesitation
No heart of gold
Just flesh and blood
I do not know,
I do not know
From my heart
and from my hand
Why don't people
understand
My intentions?
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
weird science
Ooh
Weird science
Magic and technology
Voodoo dolls and chants
Weird science
Things I've never
seen before
Behind bolted doors
Whoa whoa whoa
Weird science
Ooh
Weird
Weird science
Weird science
Ooh
Oh whoa whoa whoa
Bits and pieces
Bits and pieces
and bits and pieces
Weird science
It's my creation
Is it real?
It's my creation
I do not know
Ooh, my creation
Is it real?
It's flesh and blood
Just flesh and blood
Weird science
Weird science
Weird science