Can I sit here?
If you feel like it.
Someone barfed there
fourth period.
Hi, Dawn.
Sorry to bother you.
But we were just wondering,
are you a lesbian?
- Well, are you?
- No.
Liar.
She made a pass at me.
Lesbo, lesbo, lesbo
Lesbo, lesbo
Fag! You're a faggot!
Aren't you?
"I'm a faggot."
Admit it. Say it.
You look beautiful
in this suit, Troy.
- Look, get over here.
- Where the hell you going?
You fuckin' faggot. You're a faggot,
aren't you, Troy-boy?
Aren't you?
Admit it. Say, "I'm a faggot."
Say it.
- Say it, faggot. Say it!
- Say it.
- I'm a faggot.
- Why don't you leave him alone?
Hey, guys, watch out.
It's the Wienerdog!
It's dogface.
You guys are such jerks.
What's the matter, ugly?
You like faggots?
Let's get out of here.
Her face is killing me.
Are you all right,
Troy?
Leave me alone,
Wienerdog.
Hey, that didn't sound
too much like "Satisfaction."
- Yeah, what's the matter, do you think?
- I don't know.
It says B-flat.
I'm just playing what it says.
Play me an "A."
- This is bad.
- Yeah, we sound like shit.
- I knew this band was gonna suck.
- What does "suck" mean?
Missy, go play with Dawn.
We've just got to practice more.
Hell, it's our first time.
What do you think the Stones sounded
like the first time they practiced?
Yeah.
I'm gonna close the garage door
so we can get some privacy.
Let's take it from the top.
A one and a two
and a one, two, three, four!
Toss-up question:
Spell the word "satellite. "
S-a-t-e-l-l-i-t-e.
Correct. 20 points.
You're not supposed to drink
in the TV room.
- Drop dead, lesbo.
- Riverdale has 200.
- London is located along which river?
- Mommy, Dawn called me "Iesbo."
- Hold on, Rita.
- The Thames.
Oh, Dawn!
Dawn, I want to speak
to you right now.
Stupid.
Tattletale.
- What did you call your sister?
- She was bothering me!
I don't care what she was doing.
Now are you going to apologize?
- Apologize or you're punished.
- But Mom, she was bothering me!
- That's it! Go to your room!
- She's such a little brat!
I don't want to hear it!
Go!
- American Revolution.
- That's correct. You got all 40 points.
Toss-up:
What organism is--
I love her little profile.
Let's go to the phones.
- Hi, Missy. Is Dawn home?
- She can't play. She's punished.
- Mrs. Grissom?
- Yes, Dawn?
- Brandon's trying to copy my answers.
- You lie!
You were too,
and you know it!
Quiet!
Dawn, Brandon,
you can see me here at 3:00.
I'm giving you both detention.
Oh, hi.
You didn't come in here
to wash your hands.
Y-Yes, I did.
You came in here
to take a shit.
N-No. Really.
I don't have to go.
- My hands were dirty, that's all.
- Liar.
I can smell you from here.
- Please let me go.
- First...
take a shit.
- But I'll be late for Science.
- Well, you're not leaving until you do.
You know, Lolita, me and my neighbor
are starting this new club.
And if you want,
you can be vice president.
Fuck you.
And I really wasn't the one
who was cheating. I'm innocent.
I know.
You're always innocent.
- And Brandon's always guilty.
- But Brandon was--
You stay away from Brandon.
He's mine.
- Got it?
- Of course, but--
But shit.
Now, go on.
Leave it.
I want to make sure you shit.
I want to see it
with my own eyes.
Why do you hate me?
Because you're ugly.
M-Mrs. Grissom,
I'm finished.
Let me see.
Mrs. Grissom,
can I take a retest?
But I know I could have done better
if none of this had happened.
- I was nervous.
- I said no, Dawn !
But Mrs. Grissom, I really wasn't
the one who was cheating...
and if I could just
redo this test--
Just once.
Please?
- I'm better than a D-minus.
- Stop grade grubbing!
Don't you have any dignity?
Now...
I want you to write
a 100-word essay...
on the subject of dignity
and hand it in to me by Friday.
You're excused.
She's got it so easy.
She'll always have it easy.
Maybe she'll die.
You don't know
what it's like.
- What?
- Junior high.
-Do you think anyone will join our club?
-I don't want anyone to join.
I want to be popular.
So I think I may have swung a pretty
good deal with Steve Rodgers today.
- I think we got him.
- Who's Steve Rodgers?
Steve Rodgers is only
one of the most popular guys in class.
We get him, we'll get invited
to play everywhere:
sweet sixteens, school dances,
maybe even a gig on the road.
- What does he play?
- Guitar, a little.
But mainly, he sings.
But that's not the point.
The point is, it's just exactly
what I needed for my college resume.
With this kind of extracurricular
activity, I'm gonna have it made.
Maybe not the Big Three,
but an lvy at least.
Well, we'll have to see
about those SATs.
Mommy, could I join Mark's band?
- Oh, sweetheart.
- I'm serious.
And I think you should
send Dawn to a reformatory.
She's always bothering me.
Honey, you don't mean that.
Dawn loves you.
No matter what she does,
she's your sister.
Dawn, tell Missy that you're sorry
for bothering her and that you love her.
- I'm not sorry.
- Stop acting like a baby.
You're her older sister,
and Missy loves you.
- She does not.
- She does. Tell her you love her.
- I love you.
- You do not!
- I do too.
- You do not!
You are not leaving this table until
you tell your sister that you love her!
Go to bed.
...this stupid doll.
Sweet candy from a baby
I know you're Daddy's girl
but it don't worry me
Won't you give me
some sweet candy
Well, Dawn is very musical.
Yeah. No, I know.
No, she's going.
I told her
she'll have a fabulous time.
What kid doesn't want
to go to Disney World?
Right.
- Yes.
- Let's get a little wild
Let's get a little crazy
Well, bump it up, sugar
Let me in
You see, I know
you're Mama 's pearl
You're a pearl
from the ocean of tears
I'm gonna steal that pearl
when she don't see
Won't you give me some
sweet candy
Gonna take candy
from a baby
Sweet candy from a baby
"Dignity.
Dignity is an important quality
everyone should have.
- Louder.
- That way, you will never grade grub.
- Grade grubbing is bad...
- I said, "Louder"!
because it means you're asking
for a grade you shouldn't get.
Because if you got it, it wouldn't be
fair to everyone who didn't grade grub.
We can't hear you!
It doesn't matter whether
you're a girl or a boy...
man or a child,
rich or poor, fat or thin.
You should never be
a grade grubber.
Therefore, dignity is a good quality
everyone should have."
Thank you.
I am here
to talk to you today...
about the dangers
of talking to strangers.
For l, Mary Ellen Moriarty...
once talked to strangers...
and that is how I became the innocent
victim of a brutal kidnapping.
Almost one year ago,
I was a carefree teenager...
memorizing my lines for Hello, Dolly--
I was supposed to play Dolly--
when one day...
a day that I will
never forget--
I was walking home
from rehearsal.
I'd missed my car pool.
And I was waiting at the street corner
for the light to change.
All of a sudden a dark car
pulled up beside me...
and a big man
stepped out.
He was older...
and good looking.
And, um--
And he had a tattoo
on his chest.
And then the next thing
I know, he, um--
Students, I'm telling you
this story--
Now what exactly
did you do, Dawn?
- I shot a spitball.
- Speak up. I can't hear you.
I shot a spitball.
- You shot a what?
- She shot a spitball.
- A teacher was almost blinded.
- I was fighting back.
Whoever told you
to fight back?
Dawn, are you having
social problems?
Yes. She's got no friends.
- I've got friends.
- Who?
Ralphy.
Case closed.
She's a loner.
Dawn, let me put it to you straight.
We're not here to get you.
But you've got to understand,
you're in junior high now.
This goes in the computer
on your record.
Couple of years, this kind of incident
goes on your college transcript.
Any questions?
Were you playing
with my dolls?
How's it going?
How come you got here
so late?
I don't know.
Am I late?
Well, never mind.
Come on in.
-Is that your Computer Science notebook?
-What?
Yeah.
- Are you Mark's sister?
- Yeah.
- You in junior high?
- Yeah.
- Ben Frank?
- Yeah.
You like it?
Yeah, Ben Frank's pretty bad.
- You went there too?
- Oh, yeah.
- I was almost expelled.
- Really?
Why?
- I hated it.
- Oh, God. Me too.
Well, don't worry.
It's only three years.
Steve--
Out.
So did you get started
on the chapter?
It's real important to
focus on it if you want--
"Dear Mark, I thought long and hard...
over what we discussed at camp
and talked about it with my mother.
She agrees with me: Sex is
an important thing to experiment with...
before marriage, but only if there is
a serious commitment on both ends.
This is my third letter
to you, and I'm going to assume...
that you do not want
to continue our relationship...
if I do not hear back
from you within ten days.
Sincerely,
Your (ex-?) girlfriend...
Naomi Hayes-Blatt.
P.S. I'm getting hooked up
to E-mail for my birthday.
I'll let you know my address
as soon as it happens. "
Yeah?
- What are you doing?
- Computer Science.
Is Steve good
at Computer Science?
He's fair. He's definitely
in the bottom quarter of the class...
but he doesn't fail.
- Why do you think that is?
- Simple:
Because he's lazy.
All he thinks about is girls.
Do you think about girls?
Are you kidding?
I want to get into a good school.
My future's, like, important.
Besides, none of the girls at school
are that pretty anyway.
What about Maria Esposito?
Gross.
- Steve went out with her once.
- Yeah, well, Steve is horny.
Really?
- How horny?
- He'd go out with anyone...
as long as it was a girl
and willing.
Willing to do what exactly?
Go all the way.
You mean, have intercourse?
Duh !
Why? Are you in love
with him or something?
But, Mark, when you say
he'd go out with any girl...
as long as they're willing
to go all the way...
does that mean they
have to also be pretty?
You know Tammy Steinfeld,
from car pool?
- Yeah.
- Do you think she's pretty?
Not that pretty really.
Dawn, she's a dog,
and he did it with her.
Has he ever done it with anyone
younger than high school?
- You know Ginger Friedman?
- She used to be in my gym class.
Well, why not
ask her about Steve?
Be back in a second.
Don't move.
um, Ginger?
Can I talk to you for a second?
It's about Steve Rodgers.
We gotta talk.
So what do you know about me and Steve?
First, tell me who told you I knew him.
- My brother.
- Who's your brother?
- Mark Wiener.
- Him? He's king of the nerds.
I know, but he told me you used
to go out with Steve. Is it true?
We fingerfucked.
Once, last spring.
That's it.
It's all over now.
What else?
Well, I was wondering
if I might have a chance...
if he wanted
to go steady with me?
- Not a chance.
- But--
Sorry, Dawn, but that's
just the way it is.
- You don't cut it.
- What if I wore something--
Dawn, look in the mirror.
We fingerfucked.
Once, last spring.
That's it.
It's all over now.
- What are you doing in there?
- None of your business!
- Is Mark around?
- No. My mom took him shopping.
Shit.
He'll be back real soon,
I'm pretty sure.
If you want, you can
come inside and wait.
- You have anything to eat?
- Yeah. Follow me.
You like Yodels?
Yeah, sure.
What else you got?
Ring Dings, Pop-Tarts,
Hawaiian Punch.
Whatever you want. We've got
some leftovers too, in the fridge.
- Yeah? Like what?
- We've got some fish sticks.
All right.
- I know how to make Jell-O.
- Whatever.
You know,
I really like your music.
I'm pouring you some Hawaiian Punch.
Is that all right?
- Whatever.
- Here I come.
You're not hungry?
You know,
I play the piano.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah,
that's pretty good.
I could have kept going,
but I sprained my finger yesterday.
Yeah, well, you're still better
than Barry any day, that's for sure.
- You think so?
- Oh, yeah.
He ought to be
taking lessons from you.
Yeah, well, I don't think I have time
to give lessons to Barry...
but you want to see
my fingers?
Yeah, I see 'em.
Shit.
I gotta get going.
Please wait.
Can I play it for you one more time?
This time with no mistakes.
Please?
- We're home!
- We're home!
Where were you?
Getting groceries
with my mom and sister.
- Do you know what time it is?
- Yeah.
Do you know what time
you told me to be here?
- What?
- I've been waiting a half an hour.
- What about the problems?
- We'll get to them now.
No, we won't.
I've been here--
Hear me.
You will fall in love with me.
You will make love to me.
You will take me away
from this place.
Love's a confusing thing
In my suburban home
I feel so alone
I walk through sterile rooms
There's voices in my head
Or coming from the phone
I got a blow-up doll
and she looks like you
Little girl
Well, the two of us
have made a special world
Little girl
So welcome to the dollhouse
- I got it all set up for you
- I got it all set up for you
Hey, Steve, I think your singing was
a little flat that time.
Barry, why don't you play
an "A" for Steve.
You got that, Steve?
Fuck this shit.
- What's got into him?
- He can't take criticism.
- Great. There goes the band. Shit.
- Wait!
What do you want?
- You can't just go.
- Why not?
- The band needs you.
- Tough, I quit.
And you can tell your shitface brother
that I'd rather fail Computer Science...
than get any more help
from him!
I can't believe
he just quit.
Well, he did, shitface.
She's just lucky
she's a girl.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Do you think I'll get
into the Hummingbirds next year?
Boys always get in.
Do you think they'll go on a trip
to Disney World next year also?
I don't know! Maybe. It depends.
- On what?
- Hey, dogface.
- Drop dead!
- Let's go.
What's the matter, faggot?
ln a hurry to run home to Mommy?
- Shut up.
- Make me, lesbo.
- You think you're so cool.
- You think you're hot shit...
but you're just cold diarrhea.
- Ooh ! Listen to this faggot.
- Shut up.
- Shut up, you assholes.
- Yeah, shut up.
Man, if I were you, faggot,
I'd be shitting in my pants.
'Cause when you go to junior high, man,
I'm gonna smash...
that little fairy face of yours
into a mushy pulp.
At least he won't
stay back a year.
Retard.
- Hey, Wiener.
- What do you want?
You better get ready 'cause
at 3:00 today, I'm going to rape you.
Forget that ugly bitch.
Bug off.
You want to come over
to my house tonight?
Just get the fuck
away from me, okay?
Oh, come on.
Get the fuck off.
Nice try, bitch.
- No, I was trying to meet you.
- Don't bullshit me, you ugly fuck!
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry for shit!
- So you still think I'm a retard?
- No, you're not a retard.
Please stop.
You're hurting me.
Now strip.
Strip.
Bitch.
Now, listen.
When your sister gets here, let me do...
the talking,
but back me up whatever l--
Oh, Dawn! Come join us.
We need your help.
- We're having a party.
- What for?
Mom and Dad's 20th,
dinghead.
I was talking with your dad,
and we thought...
it would be a great idea
if this year...
we celebrated our anniversary
in the backyard.
We could set up tables,
and there'd be dancing.
Mark's band is gonna be the music.
Your brother...
has even promised
to write a song special for us.
It's our 20th, you know.
What do you think,
if we all pitch in together?
Mom wants you to tear down
your clubhouse.
But that's
the Special People Club!
Oh, honey, I know.
But we really
need the space.
And, besides, it's not
really very pretty, is it?
And you're getting
a little old for clubhouses.
Whom may I say is calling,
please?
Certainly. Hold on a moment.
Dawn.
It's for you.
Hey, ugly.
- Why'd you hurry off like that?
- I-l was in a rush.
- Fuck you were. Tomorrow.
- Really, l--
Same time, same place.
You get raped.
Be there.
So, who is this Brandon?
Just this kid from school.
Is he a nice boy?
Yeah, he's okay.
- You alone?
- Yeah.
- What time do you have to be home by?
- 4:30.
Wait. I have something
I want you to do for me first.
Come on. This way.
And don't try anything stupid.
Do you want me to lie down?
- You want a smoke first?
- No, thanks.
- Afraid?
- No, I just don't feel like it.
But I think marijuana
should be legalized.
Why do you always
have to be such a cunt?
I'm sorry.
Brandon,
I don't mean to be a cunt.
You know I've got a brother?
No, I never knew that.
What grade's he in?
He's not in any grade.
He's retarded.
I'm sorry.
There's nothing
to be sorry about. He's a tough kid.
He could beat you up
if he wanted.
I'm sorry.
I mean-- Yeah.
Brandon, are you still
going to rape me?
What time is it?
I don't know, but I guess
I don't have to be home yet.
- Nah, there's not enough time.
- Thanks, Brandon.
Yeah, but just remember:
This didn't happen.
I mean no one,
fuckin' no one--
I won't tell anybody,
not a soul.
'Cause if you do, I really will
rape you next time.
I have to tell you,
I'm very upset with you three.
But, Mommy,
I didn't do anything wrong.
I know.
Just Mark and Dawn.
But, Mom, I already
spoke to Steve.
- And did you apologize?
- Yes.
I just had to promise to give him $200
for playing at your party.
- Two hundred dollars?
- For chrissake, Harv, it's our 20th!
He's coming by later
to go over some stuff with me.
There's a big Computer Science test
tomorrow.
What about you, Dawn? Are you going
to tear down that mess in the backyard?
Dawn, I am talking to you.
Dawn, listen to your mom
and forget about it.
The clubhouse stands,
and that's final.
Fine.
Have it your way.
Be smart.
Make things easy on yourself.
- Now, this I like.
- Where did you get it?
- The supermarket.
- I picked it out.
Mom, since Dawn isn't eating hers,
can me and Mark split it?
Yeah, can we?
Please?
Go ahead.
I'm gonna need your help
this weekend.
- What do we have to do?
- Tear down that mess in the backyard.
- What do you think?
- I think--
They're all so beautiful.
They're from this summer.
Who took them?
uh, Valerie Mondello.
She's photo editor of the yearbook.
Was she your girlfriend?
For a few days.
It was worth it, though,
don't you think?
Yes.
I'm thinking of using this one
for my first album cover.
You're going to be
on a record?
It'll happen.
It's gotta happen.
It's just
a question of time.
You think
before graduation?
Fuck graduation.
- What about college?
- Fuck college.
I'm just doing this Computer Science
shit with Mark for my parents.
As soon as I make enough money,
I'm moving into the city.
That's where
it's all happening.
I found the disk.
Out.
What do you mean, "no"?
I said out.
Steve and I are talking.
Come on, I said out.
Come on !
- Mom!
- Leave her alone.
This is my room.
- So what? You're being a total fascist.
- What is it?
Did you solve
any of the problems?
Good morning, students.
All Hummingbird chorus members...
going on the concert tour
to Disney World this year...
must hand in signed permission slips
by this Friday, the latest.
On a more worrisome note,
drugs were found...
extinguished yesterday
in the boys' lavatory.
Now, I want to remind you all that any
student caught using or selling drugs...
will be immediately expelled from school
and dealt with by the police.
There will be no exceptions.
Drugs are illegal.
Just say no.
Thank you
for your attention.
- Mrs. Iannone?
- Yes, Cookie?
- I have an announcement.
- Go ahead.
For everyone coming to my birthday
party, remember to bring a bathing suit.
That's all.
- Hey, Cookie.
- What do you want?
How come I wasn't invited?
Jed and Lance were.
Oh, well, I really
would have, Brandon...
but we needed an even number
of girls and boys...
and if you were invited...
there would be too many boys.
Well, I got something for you.
- What is it?
- Open it up.
I didn't eat my dessert
at lunch today.
I saved it for you.
Now can I come to
your birthday party this weekend?
But Brandon,
this didn't even cost anything.
- What are you looking at?
- N-Nothing.
Sorry about your locker.
It's okay. I mean, it's not really
mine anyway. It's the school's.
Anyway, I hate those
stupid kinds of parties.
They always treat you
like little kids.
- She probably had a fucking magician.
- Yeah.
I hate parties too.
My parents are tearing
this down tomorrow.
Fuck. What for?
- Their anniversary.
- Assholes.
- Where'd you get that cassette player?
- Ralphy gave it to me.
- Why do you hang out with that faggot?
- Ralphy?
- Yeah.
- Just because he's a faggot...
doesn't mean he's an asshole.
Yeah, maybe.
I can't be your girlfriend.
Huh?
I want to,
but I'm in love with someone else.
- Who?
- You wouldn't know him.
- What's his name?
- It's no one you know.
- What's his name?
- He's older.
- What's his fucking name?
- Steve Rodgers. He's in high school.
Brandon, wait!
Where are you going?
We still have some Yodels left!
Asshole.
Don't feel bad, Dawn.
Brandon McCarthy's just a retard.
Faggot!
It was 20 years ago today
When Harv and Marj were married
There were three little twinkles
in their eyes
When over the threshold
Marj was carried
Harv and Marj
you're the greatest
You're the greatest couple
the world has ever seen
We love you both
We wish you the best
Happy anniversary
great joy and happiness
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary to you
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary to you
You're the king
of the breadwinners, Harv
And Marj
you're the queen of mothers
Missy, Mark and Dawn
- Are your lucky
- Where's Dawn?
- Son and daughters
- I don't know. Where is--
Rita, did you see Dawn?
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary to you
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary to you
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
Yeah?
Are you gonna lose your lunch?
- Really? You think so?
- Oh, honey, would you--
- Where's Steve?
- Hey, look who's here!
- Where have you been?
- Leave me alone. I'm looking for Steve.
- Where's Steve?
- I don't know. Leave me alone.
I'm trying
to figure something out.
- Where's Steve?
- In the garage.
Steve! Open up!
Open up!
- Hey, Dawn, what's up?
- I have to talk to you.
- What about?
- I was wondering if--
Well, I've been thinking
seriously of building...
another clubhouse,
and I wanted to know--
Would you be interested in being
my first honorary member?
What-What are you talking about?
The Special People Club.
"Special People"?
What's the matter?
Do you know what
"special people" means?
What?
"Special people" equals retarded.
Your club is for retards.
- Hey, Mommy, look!
- I see, honey.
Oh, look at Missy!
Oh, God, you are so cute!
Oh, look at her dancing
with Mr. Kasdan!
And look at me and Steve!
Steve really likes me.
- Hey, I look pretty good there!
- You sound good too.
Oh, Harv, we have
to get copies of this tape.
Yeah. unfortunately,
Steve just quit the band.
What? I just gave him $200.
Didn't you just tell me he got an "A"
on his Computer Science final?
It's not that.
He dropped out of school and left town.
He wants to try making it
in New York as the next Jim Morrison.
- Stupid idiot kid. He'll never make it.
- That's what I told him.
-He'll never get into a good school now.
-No, he won't make it.
- Never make it.
- Never.
Mommy, let's watch it again!
You're so lucky.
Would you ask Brandon McCarthy
to step outside, please?
- Is something wrong?
- The police want to question him.
Brandon,
come up here, please.
Leave your test.
Come along, Brandon.
Thank you, Martha.
Sorry for the interruption.
I'm so glad I caught you.
Listen now, Dad just called.
His car broke down, and I have
to pick him up at the car dealer.
I've left a note in the kitchen
for Missy to give to Mrs. Golden...
but in case she doesn't
see it when she gets in...
tell her to get a ride home
from ballet with her.
I won't be able to pick her up
like I told her I would.
- Okay?
- Yeah.
- Now you won't forget?
- No!
And that means hungry for love.
They haven't gotten enough love.
They haven't gotten enough affection.
They haven't gotten enough
attention from their partner...
or from the people in their life.
I like to think
of your relationship...
as a living,
breathing thing.
I have found that in my program
there are five things--
I'll get it!
Wiener residence.
Whom, may I ask, is calling, please?
It's Ralphy.
- Tell him I'm punished.
- But you're not punished.
Well, I don't feel
like talking to him.
But he's your friend.
So here.
- Dawn.
- Hang it up!
I don't want to speak
to that faggot!
- But, Dawn--
- Hang it up!
- But he's your friend.
- He is not! He's a spy and an asshole!
- But, Dawn, Ralphy likes you.
- Yeah?
Well, that's too bad, 'cause you can
tell him I hope he rots in hell!
- Maybe you should say you're sorry.
- Fuck you!
You know you're not supposed
to drink in the TV room.
Oh, hey, Missy!
What?
Nothing.
- Haven't seen her since 6:15.
- Long brown hair, blue eyes...
Iast seen wearing
a pink leotard...
pink ballet slippers
and a pink tutu.
She has an older sister,
eleven and a half.
She gave her the note
from her mother.
She claims to have
given her the note.
- Her sister says she gave her the note.
- Yeah, she claims to have.
- This was taken last summer.
- You're not going to school today?
- Mom's afraid I'll be kidnapped also.
- Yeah, right.
What?
Never mind.
What do you think
they're looking around for?
- Clues.
- But she's not here.
Duh !
Do you think
you can use that one?
Excuse me, Sergeant.
Do you think they'll find her?
- Are you the big sister?
- Yeah.
- And you're the big brother?
- Yeah.
Take whatever you need.
I just want my Missy.
Excuse me.
You know Dad's real sick. He's probably
gonna have to go to the hospital.
- Why? What's wrong with him?
- The doctor's not sure...
but Mom thinks it might be
a nervous breakdown.
It's probably just his gallbladder.
- I'll help, Mom.
- Thank you, Dawn. Here.
Take that up to your father
while I talk to the sergeant.
Sure, Mom.
I brought you some tea.
How are you feeling?
Better?
Well, don't worry, they'll find Missy.
I'm sure of it.
And if they don't,
well, remember:
You've still got me and Mark.
Hello.
Want a bite?
Tommy? Tommy!
Go on,
get back in the kitchen.
- Who are you?
- Dawn Wiener.
- I'm a friend of Brandon McCarthy.
- What do you want?
Well, I was wondering
if I could see Brandon.
- How come you're not in school?
- My sister was kidnapped.
My mom let me
stay home today.
- What do you want with Brandon?
- I wanted to talk to him.
What'd he do,
knock you up or something?
Okay, then, go ahead.
You can go say good-bye to him.
Go on,
up the stairs at the back.
But you got just one hour,
then we're leaving.
Thank you, Mr. McCarthy.
Hi, Brandon.
What are you doing here?
I tried calling you, but my mom wouldn't
let me because my sister was kidnapped.
Yeah, I heard.
So what do you want?
I want to be your girlfriend.
Too late.
I'm leaving.
- Where are you going?
- None of your business.
- Can I come along?
- No.
- Are you gonna go back to school?
- No way, man.
I'm not goin' to no
reformatory either.
My dad thinks I'm goin', but he can
go to hell. I'm gettin' out of here.
- You mean you're running away?
- Yep, to New York.
- Does anybody know?
- No.
Get off of me.
I'm the one that
makes the first move.
- Now come on.
- R-R-Right now?
Now or never.
- But I can't now.
- Why not? What? Are you scared?
- No, but l--
- What?
Can't you wait just a little longer?
I mean, I'm sure Mr. Edwards...
will let you back in
if you stop dealing drugs.
Who said I deal drugs?
But, Brandon, everyone says--
And you believe them all.
You mean, you didn't?
Asshole.
Jed's the one that deals.
But, hey, don't feel bad.
You're like everyone else.
You think
I'm some lying asshole.
And you know something, Dawn?
I don't give a fuck.
I believe you.
Gee, thanks.
I feel so much better.
- But I really do!
- The fuck you do!
Brandon, I do!
- Lying piece of shit.
- Brandon, please wait.
- I'm so sorry.
- Well, it's too late.
I'm gettin' outta here. Who knows?
Maybe I will deal drugs now.
You packed?
We're leaving in ten minutes!
Well, you comin'?
I can't.
Brandon, wait!
Please don't go!
So, how's Dad?
They don't know yet.
They're still
doing more testing.
Can I visit him?
What are you doing
tomorrow after school?
Tomorrow's no good.
I've got a big Forensic Society debate.
But I'm sure
I can get out of it.
No, Mark.
Go. I want you to.
It's important.
Dawn can come with me
to the hospital...
and I'll get your Aunt Phyllis
to stay by the phone.
Hello? Yes.
Oh.
In Times Square?
Are you sure?
Yes.
Thank you.
They found her tutu.
Excuse me.
Have you seen my sister?
Pardon me. Have you seen my sister?
Her name is Missy Wiener.
Have you seen my sister?
Her name's Missy Wiener.
Help! Dawn, help me!
Help me!
Help me, Dawn!
Help! Help!
Wait! Wait!
Stop! Stop!
Let go of my sister!
You're the best daughter
a mother could have!
- I love you so much.
- I love you, Dawn.
Me too.
I love you.
- Oh, Dawn, I love you.
- Dawn, I love you!
- And you know I've always loved you.
- Oh, Dawn, we love you!
- Yeah, I'll accept.
- Hi, Mark?
- It's Dawn.
- Ooh, are you in trouble.
- Where are you?
- New York.
- What are you doing there?
- I-l ran away.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah. I thought I might find Missy.
- Way to go.
- Is Mom real upset?
Not really.
They found Missy this morning.
- Is she dead?
- No, she's fine.
It turns out Mr. Kasdan
kidnapped her.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Mrs. Kasdan is gonna
file for divorce now.
Turns out he'd built this
little underground room...
beneath the shuffleboard
court and kept her there.
- Did he rape her?
- Nah.
I think he videotaped her
doing some pirouettes, but that's it.
Is she in the hospital?
No, she's here.
She's the same.
Actually, I think she may
have liked being there...
'cause she had her own TV
and total control over the pusher.
She also got to have as much candy
and McDonald's as she wanted.
Can you get Mom?
Yeah, hold on.
Mom, it's Dawn.
- Will you move?
- Where the fuck is Sam?
Can you call back
a little later?
- She's being interviewed.
- Okay.
And now, students,
I'd like you to give your attention...
to Dawn Wiener.
"I'm standing here today to express
my and my family's thanks...
for the support in helping us get
through this hor-- terrible ordeal.
If it hadn't been for your help
in providing the police...
with the information leading
to the conviction of Joseph Kasdan...
my sister might not
be here today.
Your emotional
and moral support...
has been invaluable.
Missy has always been like
a sister to me...
- Wienerdog!
- and a friend.
- And now that she is safe and sound--
- Wienerdog!
- Wienerdog!
- Wienerdog!
And now that she's safe and sound--
Quiet!
Go on, Dawn.
I can rest easy in the knowledge that,
that Missy is fine.
Thank you very much."
...were unavailable for comment.
Friends and neighbors, however,
shocked at his arrest...
described Joseph Kasdan
as a regular family man...
who would often dress up
as Santa at Christmastime.
Now we bring you an exclusive
interview from our own--
While you're at it,
can you get me another bag of popcorn?
- And a glass of diet Coke.
- And Hawaiian Punch.
- Okay.
- Did he touch you at all in any way?
I don't know.
Anyway, I bet you're happy
to be home with Mommy.
Yes.
Tell me, Mrs. Wiener, how did
you feel when you discovered--
Mark, is eighth grade
better than seventh?
Not really.
What about ninth?
All of junior high school sucks.
High school's better. It's closer
to college. They'll call you names...
but not as much to your face.
How did you feel being kidnapped
and being held hostage?
- Were you scared?
- No.
- I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Don't be stupid.
If nothing else, it'll look good
on your college resume.
Look in the sky
at the tiny birds that fly
With wings that move faster
than the eye can see
Hummingbirds
Hooray, Hurrah, Sis-boom-bah
Now put on a smile, kids
Wipe off that frown
We're hummable Hummingbirds
Happy and sunny birds
humming all day long
Come and join us in our song
Hum
Hummable Hummingbirds
humming along, we are
Hum hummable Hummingbirds
We go up, up, up into the sky
We're the Hummingbirds
of Benjamin Franklin Junior High