Like any organ does
as we grow older,
the eye deteriorates and decays.
Whether it is genetic predisposition
Or environmental factors,
we are subject to
losing the gift of sight,
clouding the windows
to our souls, if you will.
Did you know that cataracts
are now responsible
for 48% of world blindness?
Though aging is the primary cause,
there are a wide variety...
Devon, you are just going to
grade papers the whole time?
What? This is my lunch break.
What do you want me?
To do, pray for you?
Your eye is fine, okay.
Just like your teeth aren't getting
Looser, and you did not have foot rot.
Knock on wood.
Oh, okay.
I have to get the rest
of these papers to my TA.
However, I love you.
You are okay.
Love you.
Say hi to the doc for me.
See you after work,
assuming I can still see.
To irreversible loss of vision.
Quinn.
Hey there, pal.
Hi, Dad.
So, what is it this time?
A little redness?
Yeah, just in the left eye. A little
dot's been there for about a week.
Okay.
Let us go.
Let us just lean forward.
Place your chin on
the plastic piece there.
In addition, look
directly into the light.
Right here.
Good.
Oh, by the way,
your mother made some of that.
Egg salad that you love, you
know, with the tarragon,
I brought some in for you.
Thanks.
Well, what do you know?
Pingueculitis.
It's an irritation or a
thinning of the conjunctiva.
It usually found
In elderly people,
Latinos,
people who work outdoors.
You the outdoorsy type now?
I would go with Latino
before outdoorsy.
It could also have something
to do with your nose.
What is wrong with my nose?
Nothing. It is a beautiful nose,
You got the Berman nose.
Only it's, slightly more pronounced
than other noses might be.
How does my nose
size contribute to this?
It's acting as a, kind of,
large reflector, if you will.
Therefore, my nose
is so large that,
What, the reflection
Is burning a hole in my eye?
No, no, no, no, no.
Just the lining of it.
The treatment is
artificial tears
and UV-protection sunglasses.
You are getting
older there, my boy.
Twenty-eight is not old.
Yeah.
It is not really the age
Where it makes any sense.
Nor the race.
All right,
I will get your UV sunglasses.
The women are going to love you.
Dad, I have
A girlfriend for 10 years.
Kidding, I love Devon.
When are you going to propose?
I was about to.
I have Mama's ring.
Now, with this illness...
It is not an illness.
It is a condition.
It is treatable.
Marriage, I mean.
How many times a day do I have?
To put in the artificial tears?
Six to eight.
Alternatively, I could just
Insert some punctual plugs.
- Insert where.
- In your punctual.
In my what?
Tear ducts.
Little, tiny, umbrella-shaped,
silicon plugs
that block out the drainage of
tears, thus, irrigating the eye.
I am a little...
Sit, sit.
Come on, sit down, and sit down.
That is it. Put your
head between your legs.
Your grandmother used to say...
That means, "You only get
one first marriage."
That is inspiring.
Look...
If Devon is the one,
Unless there's a piece of coal in
that ring, instead of a diamond,
your sitting on it longer,
Is not doing you any good.
You saw the people
in the waiting room.
They were all you, yesterday.
WE WILL NEVER HAVE PARIS
Dev.
What?
Aren't you
supposed to be at work?
Impersonating late Miles Davis.
What happened?
No, nothing.
I wanted sir to prize...
To precise...
I wanted to surprise you.
Okay.
Wait, what did he
say about your eye?
Oh, no, it is fine.
Actually, it put
everything into perspective.
That well, I am finally...
You know...
Moreover, I love you more than...
Okay, I love you too.
However, you are scaring me.
Therefore, there is nothing
Wrong with your eye?
Yes, there is... No...
Yes, there is...
It is Pingueculitis.
It is not a big deal, I am just
Supposed to wear those glasses but...
Well, you know, I do know how
Seriously, you take fashion.
Yeah, says the girl
Who only wears clogs?
What? They are comfortable.
Yeah, well, that does not make
They not clog.
Very cloggy.
What?
You are just my favorite.
Well, you are up there
for me too.
Well...
The day has come...
Oh, my God.
You got a gig playing piano.
- I...
- No, no, no.
However, did not you send in your
demo? Tape to the Thai restaurant?
No one wants to hear live jazz.
While they're eating microbe,
It is too much.
Come on, at some point you're going
to Have to play in front of people.
Anyway, I just wanted to...
I have to go.
You have class.
- Thank you so much for surprising me.
- Okay. Okay.
I am going to call you
On the way home.
I am sorry. I just supposed to
be giving a lecture on Flaubert.
You do not have to lecture them
about Flaubert.
Just say it nicely.
- All right. Love you.
- Love you.
It is just this eye condition.
Ping... Wait, what.
Pingueculitis.
Is it... Is it contagious?
No.
What are we doing with the rose?
Petals, did I miss an order?
I am... Uh, I am...
Okay, do not say
Anything, Kelsey.
However, I am going to ask
Devon to marry me.
Wow.
You know, I used to propose to
Girls in elementary school.
I mean, I was in elementary school
too. It was not just illegal.
Yay! Yay!
Yeah. Thanks.
I mean, of course.
I called it in high school.
You did, yeah. What about you?
You are still with...
We broke up.
The basketball player.
- We broke up too.
- Oh.
However, there is a new person,
Isaac, you will meet him tonight.
We are having pizza
Before Jameson's, right?
- Yes, yeah. In addition, you are bringing...
- Isaac.
- Isaac.
- Yeah, the mechanic.
Cool. Well, if it does not
work out with him
I have a great mechanic.
- Thanks.
- Yay.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Sure.
I think I might be
in love with you.
A little.
With me?
No, you are right. Never mind.
No. Wait.
- What?
- I mean...
Obviously, I do not want to
ruin what we have here.
In addition, I love Devon.
She always buys me lottery
Tickets on my birthday
'cause she know how
much I want to win.
However, it just hit me,
That all these people,
I mean, they do not challenge me.
In addition, you...
You make me feel like a lady.
In addition, you listen.
In addition, you make eye contact.
Are you really going to marry the
first girl you've ever been with?
Well...
One girl
in your entire life.
I am sorry.
I should not have told you.
Yes, you should have.
However, you can do better.
Look at you,
You are like a model.
I mean, when we hug, I look like
a skin tag hanging off of you.
Ewe!
Come on, you are a man.
A man, what lead?
You to believe that?
Sorry.
I can get
a little rough sometimes.
Sure.
Me too.
I will see you tonight.
Right. Tonight, yeah.
I will see you tonight.
- Oh, this one?
- Yeah, that one.
Yeah, thanks.
This is lucky seven.
My mom got it for me, 'cause
In my family, this is like...
Therefore, what does?
The tattoo on your neck says.
"Veni, vidi, vici."
"I came, I saw, I conquered."
Is it "vici" or "Vicky"?
Vici.
It is Latin, so a soft 'V'.
Ah.
You got tattoos.
Me? No.
Unless you count "thug life"
scrawled across my chest.
However, that is henna, so...
No, I was just
Super scared, like...
He is going to be fine. He
freaks out about everything.
What? I do not.
Every time you sit
down at the piano now
you mention that your
hands are shrinking.
My hand span does seem smaller.
Okay, and then last week you
thought your hair was going white.
I found all these
white hairs on my collar.
Okay, which was cat fur?
I did not do a DNA test.
Okay, this is so ridiculous.
You know what I just realized,
I have never heard
you play the piano.
No. He does not play
in front of anybody.
If I am going heckled, I just prefer
that it be by me that am all.
That is cool.
I mean, it makes you
all mysterious
in addition, like tortured.
See... Yes, tortured.
That is my wheelhouse.
Oh, thank you so much.
- What did you do?
- How would that happen? Dev!
Well, I am stealthy.
Well, thank you.
In addition, I am sorry
to just dash out on everyone,
however, I think I am
going to grab a cab home.
Why?
I am just so tired. I have
that thing in the morning.
Can you give these people?
A ride to Jameson's?
Okay. Well, I love you.
I love you.
Bye.
I am probably going to
head out pretty soon, too.
I am going to go meet
up with my boys.
Okay.
I do not feel like
going to this party.
All right.
Why do not I just go drop you?
Back off with
Isaac and his boys.
Because I don't feel like getting
stoned and playing Foosball.
You philistine.
Do not call me names.
Did I hurt the fragile flower?
I am sorry.
Is that okay?
I mean, kissing my neck is okay.
It is like the same
thing as hugging.
No, no, no.
What?
I just really want to kiss you.
Well, that would not be good.
No, I know.
I could show you my boobs.
Okay, wait, wait.
This feels rape.
Why?
'Cause you don't
want to kiss me.
I want to.
However, I cannot.
Yeah.
It is not like I
could be with Kelsey.
No, you could not.
Her legs, though,
Jameson, they are so long.
I have never seen legs
like that in person.
They are freakishly long.
I just... I have not been
in another relationship.
And now this
tall model likes me.
I mean, she thinks I am sexy.
Manly.
Okay, she modeled one time
in a catalog for Mervyn's,
and a lot of girls
think you are sexy.
More than think, I am sexy.
Okay, first off, girls
think I am cute, not sexy.
In addition, second, you are just
unaware of your good looks.
I wish I were unaware of my looks,
I am aware they are not good.
Shit.
I just lost a grand.
What kind of dealer
gets 21 every time?
A computerized one.
Maybe you do need to explore...
Wait a minute.
I thought you wanted
to marry Devon one day.
I do, that is what I am saying.
It is just... Those legs...
Dude,
you really need to chill out.
I feel like you're about to ask
me to help you hide the body.
I am fine, I am thinking clearly.
I just... I have a lot of energy.
I am galvanized.
Hey, check it out.
I...
am corning my own beef.
Better to corn your own
than someone else's.
I guess, okay, you are right.
I need to talk to Kelsey.
Just patch that up and then I...
She is so sexy.
No, no.
See, think of it like,
a wet dream, right,
nothing really happened.
So to talk about it,
would be awkward.
So what? Suppress my feelings?
And then,
by the time, I examine them,
they are all
tainted and deformed,
and then the idea of the event
and the event itself
would become inseparable and,
therefore, impossible to analyze?
I need to act now.
Okay, this is not Darfur,
you do not need to act now.
You need to go home.
You are not making sense.
Hey.
Imagine that was I
slapping you in the face.
That was.
Hey.
Still learning that same song?
Yeah, I just cannot seem
to get past this one part.
How was the faculty meeting?
Hilarious.
Why are you being so cold?
What about are you talking?
I just got back from work.
I want to take a bath.
We just spent the last two hours
debating
the plural of "syllabus."
Sorry, I...
I just wanted to
ask you something.
Okay,
can I just run my bath first?
Sure, fine.
I said, I wanted to
ask you something.
Okay.
However, you are in the bath. You
said you were going to run it,
not get in it.
Yeah,
who could have predicted this?
What is wrong with you?
Nothing.
I guess I have just been feeling
kind of confused recently.
About what?
I so immerse in everything.
I can't... See clearly.
Maybe, I just need to take
a step back for a moment.
Wait a minute.
What is happening right now?
Nothing. I do not know. Why?
Are you talking about us?
Not...
No... I do not know... Maybe.
Are you trying to?
Break up with me?
I do not even know
what is happening to me?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I cannot fuck believe this.
Devon, wait a second.
- Turn around.
- What?
Do not look at me,
I am getting dressed.
Now, I cannot see you naked.
Ten seconds ago, it was fine.
Yeah, well, a lot's happened
in the last 10 seconds.
Nothing has happened.
You are overreacting.
I do not even know
what I am saying right now.
Who is it?
- Who is what?
- It is always someone else.
What? The only girls I know
are you and Kelsey.
In addition, I am with you, In
addition, Kelsey is like a model...
Wow.
I did not mean that.
I do hear how that sounded.
Devon, what are you doing?
Do you like Kelsey?
Do I... No.
Not like that.
I swear.
Wait...
You did nothing there is that.
My head is just spinning...
Maybe I need to gain
some sort of perspective,
or objectivity for a second
before... What are you doing?
Do not touch me.
I am going to stay
somewhere else tonight.
Look,
if you don't want to see me,
I can go somewhere.
No, I am going, you stay here.
Where are you going to go?
I do not know, to my parents.
With wet hair?
You will get pneumonia.
Oh, please.
- Fuck.
- I know.
No. Thought I lost a piece.
Maybe you are not ready
to get married, dude, I mean,
obviously, your brain is trying
to tell you something.
No, I want to marry Devon.
I think. I have just been so
comfortable with her for so long.
I cannot tell.
It is easier to feel
when you are in pain.
I guess I just
fear that I have been confusing
complacency with happiness.
I am already 28, it is just
going to start flying by.
I want to feel like a man.
I want to experience crazy
romance, pining, and jealousy.
And whirlwind affairs
in foreign countries.
Hey, check it out.
It is a Middle Eastern man
on the camel.
They make those.
I did have to special
order it, but, yeah.
Okay, I am going to go now.
Hey, man. Hey.
Are you doing all right?
No, I just explained that,
while you were building
a scene from Aladdin.
No. Look, I am here for you.
Okay, thank you, I need to go.
- Home?
- Yes, home.
- No proposing?
- None.
- No Kelsey.
- No.
I hope I was able to help.
Yeah.
Are you thinking about Devon?
I do not even feel bad though.
Maybe I am a sociopath.
I guess we are
allowed to kiss now.
That is so romantic.
Do you think maybe?
We should get ready for bed.
Yeah.
I mean, I am ready but, okay.
Okay.
Whoa.
Um...
I do not really know how to ramp
up to where we were before.
Do you want to talk to me?
Sure. About what?
No, like dirty.
Oh. Oh! Um...
I am good. I do not really have
anything to say dirtily.
Okay. -Why? Did you
want me to talk to you?
No. No, I mean,
if you wanted to.
Do you want to?
Talk to me like that?
Um, sure.
Yeah, that could be fun.
Okay. Yeah. Go for it.
Whenever you are ready
alternatively, take your time.
Let me just set the mood.
Um...
Okay, so...
Take out your cock.
I have not put it in yet.
No, not out of... Never mind.
Oh! Okay, yes. Yes, ma'am.
Alternatively, do you want me?
To address you as something?
No. This is not that.
You know, forget it.
No, hey, I am taking out my cock.
Okay.
Give me that thing.
- What?
- Nothing. I am sorry.
Your hand is cold.
That
feels so good, Kelsey. Keep going.
Thanks, Quinn.
Yeah, that does feel good.
Keep going.
Do it faster, Kelsey. Do it.
Whatever you say, Quinn.
Sorry, this is making me
a little uncomfortable.
I feel like I am in a threesome
with two of me.
Oh, wait.
What?
'Cause my hand feels too good
on your cock?
I do not think I am going to last.
Why, 'cause it feels too good?
Yes, it feels good.
Sorry, I did not make it, Kelsey.
That is okay. I am flattered.
Who are you? What is that?
- Hi.
- Hi, hey.
Therefore, the toilet is broken.
Therefore, I hope you can wait
to go to the bathroom.
Sure.
Um, I was thinking maybe we could
get brunch and go to the beach.
- What do you think?
- The beach. Wow.
They still have
sand at those things?
'Cause I always found that to
be the one flaw with beaches.
Come on. Get up.
Okay, you get ready,
in addition, I... Before we go,
I have to stop at my landlord's
because I lost my
checkbook again.
In addition, the toilet is...
Okay.
What is this?
It is a face scrubber.
It is for Edward James Olmos.
Jesus!
Oh, my God! Perhaps
a sacrificial offering.
You building a pipe organ?
You like my new lipstick.
It called creamsicle.
What is wrong? Is it
something with the toilet?
Quinn? Are you okay, boo?
"Boo"?
Yeah.
I cannot, I cannot.
- You cannot what?
- I cannot go to the beach.
I do not feel well.
What do you want?
I want to go home.
I need to go rest.
Okay.
Are you angry?
Yeah, a little.
Kel, I am sorry.
I just need to go
home for a minute.
Okay.
I am sorry.
Oh, no.
My God.
Please, God, forgive me.
I am sorry.
Help me live with this guilt
alternatively, help me get past it.
I think I had to
do this with Kelsey
to better my
relationship with Devon.
Amen.
Hey. Hey, hey.
Hey, you. Wait.
My bush!
It is for love, man.
Crime of passion.
What a lucky girl.
Devon.
What? What are you doing here?
Are your parents here?
No.
My God!
I picked this flower
from that angry man's garden.
Did you come from somewhere?
Did you come from 1973?
No. I just wanted
to look nice for you.
In addition, you come bearing
a rose that you picked.
What do you think?
I am a florist.
Therefore, you started smoking.
Starting is the hardest part.
Therefore, what made you?
Decide to do this?
I realized that I
couldn't run away
from you and everything else.
The problem
existed somewhere in me
moreover, my fears
of moving forward.
Moreover, you are not feeling
curious about other people?
I was, maybe. I do not know.
I think it was just
that moment, you know,
when you either
turn away or go deeper.
Yeah.
I did think I had
feelings for Kelsey.
Yeah, I knew it.
Did anything happen?
No.
We kissed last night, and then we
did a couple other things too.
Did you sleep with her?
No.
It was stupid,
however, I am just happy
that it is over and...
I mean, it will be a little uncomfortable
with her at work now but...
Are you kidding me?
What?
You are going to keep
working with her?
I need a job, and honestly,
she is just a friend.
You are a fucking
we are a silly fuck! No!
- What?
- No!
- Hey.
- Everything all right?
Its fine, Kurt.
Can you just, please...
You didn't tell me your brother was
home. I tried calling you, man...
He's my brother. You don't
get to call him right now.
In addition, you know what?
You're right.
We have problems that we need
to figure out separately.
- You're not ready.
- No. Wait.
In addition, maybe you should
go be with other girls.
Otherwise, it's always
going to be plaguing you.
I'm not plagued.
Besides, what girls would I...?
Oh, I'm sorry. Let me go and
find some girls for you to fuck.
Devon, that's not what I meant.
- I just don't know anybody.
- Just leave.
So now you have to go bone
a bunch of other girls.
I guess.
In addition, Devon's
all right with this?
- She told me I had to.
- Huh.
Kelsey keeps calling, texting.
See? You're magnetic.
Okay, so I'll do that with
the boning. Take a moment.
Then I'll see what the deal
is with Devon. I don't know.
I mean, right now, I have
to get it out of my system,
like a poison.
Very romantic.
It's not
supposed to be romantic.
I need to be a guy,
a guy who fucks girls.
I need to fucking fuck.
I still don't think you should
be with anybody right now.
Maybe we should have
a party here or something.
No. My parents are coming back from
the Dutch house in a couple months.
A couple months...
I'm not looking to remodel.
Look, you just need to
clear your head for a moment.
Why don't we go somewhere?
Like out of town.
We'll forget about girls.
Yes, thank you.
That is what I'm saying.
Great.
Yeah, we'll just go be guys.
We'll go be fucking guys.
Yes.
This is Fresh Air.
I'm Terry Gross.
The fear of ticks
is taking some of the pleasure
out of walking in the woods...
You ever send
a check to them, NPR?
Yeah, all the time.
Yeah, I gotta do that.
See, those are
the kinda things, you know,
when you're in a relationship,
that just get swept under the rug.
I miss Devon.
- No.
- Yes, dude.
I think I got it out of my
system, you know, with this
and the surrey and
the weird little horse.
Dude, you have to take time.
You know, her
brother won't call me back?
- What? You called Kurt?
- Here you go.
I left him a couple
messages just saying
I hope we can still
hang out and be friends.
- Dude, that is her brother.
- But he's my friend.
- And it's been, like, two days.
- Preemptive.
Oh, my God. Quinn, listen.
You really have to chill out, you
maniac. You have to be alone.
Don't see anybody.
Just take a deep breath.
And enjoy this freedom.
What do I do?
What do people do?
Hmm.
Single.
Pennsylvania, ranch, family...
Beach.
Okay.
Hmm.
All right.
All right.
Shit!
- Quinn.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Wow.
Pull up a saddle.
Whoa.
Howdy.
Wow.
The last time I was in a saddle
was on a horse at summer camp.
I had an anxiety attack and
woke up in the cantor's office.
No pun intended.
Cantor...
See, if they would just put an
Ethiopian restaurant in Ethiopia,
it would solve
a lot of problems.
Sorry, I'm nervous.
Yeah. I am now too.
So you like the beach?
The beach?
Yeah, well, I saw on...
On what?
I saw on...
On Facebook.
Did I, like, write that
somewhere or something?
No, no.
- Do you know what you're getting?
- No.
Sorry.
I didn't follow you here.
I just need a moment.
Kelsey.
This isn't me. I don't
do these kind of things.
Sorry. This is...
I'm the girl Quinn
left his girlfriend for.
And you must be the girl he left
his girlfriend for the second time
after he left me
for his girlfriend.
No. Excuse me.
What is going on?
How did you know I'd be here?
Facebook.
That was a private message.
You're so
non-savvy with computers.
My ineptitude does
not make this okay.
Look, I've been thinking, and
I think you made a mistake.
I mean, that we made a mistake because
this is not rotten at the core,
like there were symptoms of
something gone awry
that we were ignoring.
I think that if we
were just really honest...
Kelsey, wait. Calm down.
I'm just trying to
cool off for a moment.
I don't want to
see anyone right now.
She's nobody.
I'm not seeing her.
Maybe you need to get
your eyes checked again
because I see
the fuck out of her.
You need to grow up.
I'm sorry.
I don't even know what to say.
You can leave now.
I'm not this kind of guy,
juggling women.
Okay.
I think it's out of my system.
What?
What?
What's out of your system?
What are you talking about?
You just said this
is out of your system.
What is out of your system?
You're a pint-sized narcissist.
And I could barely
feel you inside me.
You sure you got it out
of your system? -Yes.
It was never in my
system to begin with.
Try this.
I quit my job this morning
which is a big step.
Yeah, you made a pledge to NPR,
you went on one date,
and now you're unemployed.
I'd call that personal growth.
Yes. I've matured.
You sure you want Devon?
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cheers to that, man.
And it's been good
having you around again.
Cheers, man.
It's spicy.
No, it's good...
Good spice. It's painful.
I call it the Oaxaca dirty bomb.
It's pleasant though, right?
Just like the name suggests.
It's made with
real habanero chilies
that I
cultivated hydroponically.
I'm gonna go get Devon back.
What about your drink?
Hi, Jean. Is Devon here?
No.
Okay.
Is Devon here?
No.
Is she here though?
What the fuck are
you doing, Quinn?
This isn't Anne Frank.
She's not here.
What do you want?
I want to be back with her.
I was an idiot.
I know it now, and I need her.
I'm falling apart.
Hey, man.
Quinn, I thought
when I saw you again,
I would slap you till you had
to have your jaw wired shut.
But I look at you now
and you're like a poor,
pathetic, wounded gazelle.
Thank you.
She's gone.
- Devon?
- She left last week.
- Where?
- Paris.
We have family there.
She got a place.
She's gonna take a semester off
from the university, find herself.
Well, how long is
she gonna be there?
I can't get in
the middle of this.
Hello.
Hi. Hi.
I'm so sorry that I showed up
at the Ethiopian place.
No. It's fine.
What are you doing?
Honestly, trying to figure out
Devon's exact location in Paris
so I can chase her down.
Well, didn't she send flowers
through the shop
to her, like,
grandparents in France?
Their address is
probably in the database.
She's not staying with them.
They don't speak English.
Well, I really just wanted to say I
was sorry for being a total idiot.
No.
Sometimes the healthiest thing we
can do is make a fool of ourselves.
Yes, Quinn.
- Hi. Hey, Kurt.
- Hey.
Listen,
I want to send her flowers.
A housewarming gift. You gotta
let me do that. Please.
I'm an ex-florist, okay.
I know what flowers she wants,
what she needs.
Can I just have her address? I mean,
come on, what am I going to do?
What?
Quinn. Oh, my God! You're...
You're here.
- I am.
- Okay.
Wow. Okay.
- Come on in.
- All right. You sure or...
Yeah. I mean, I assume
that's why you're in Paris,
at my door, with a suitcase.
Yeah. I mean,
if it's a bad time or...
- Come in.
- Okay.
How did you know where I was?
I have my ways.
- This is beautiful, nice.
- Thanks. Yeah.
Thanks.
- I brought you something.
- Oh.
Oh!
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
Right.
- Clogs.
- Yeah.
They're handmade, in America.
Thanks.
How did you find this place?
Well, a couple who
are friends of my mom's...
- It's their son's.
- Oh.
Is he here?
No, no.
He was when I got here,
however, he is staying in Provence
with his family now.
I actually went down there
for a couple of days
to stay with his family and him.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
What is he... What does him
do, this son? How old is he?
Um, he is 32.
He's a classical violinist.
He tours around with his dad.
It's funny,
I just watched 400 Blows.
Yeah?
Well, no, I'm just saying 'cause it's
French and all, and here we are.
It's coincidence.
Did he play for you?
- Did whom...
- The kid.
Guillaume. Yeah.
Is he okay or...
He was amazing.
What did he play?
Oh, gee, I think
he played some Mozart.
Mmm, Mozart.
Yeah, it's pretty music.
It's interesting 'cause it's
not as technically challenging
as other composers,
you know, Bach and...
It sounded nice.
No. That's the thing.
It does, you know.
Even though it's easier.
So how long are...
- When are you supposed to go back?
- Mmm?
How long are you here?
Oh, I can't remember.
I have to check the ticket.
It's flexible. I mean...
Yeah.
What is happening?
Do you not want me here?
No, it's not that.
I'm sorry, it's just...
Jesus Christ!
I was not expecting this.
Yeah, because it was a surprise.
I'm here in Paris
to win you back.
This supposed
to be my time to...
- Find yourself, I know.
- Yeah.
Well, I came to tell you
that you can stop looking
because you're perfect
the way you are.
You know, this has brought up
many issues for me too.
In addition, I just don't know
if you're ready to be with me.
I am. I, you know,
explored and grew...
Well, I may need to do that too.
Is there...
Did you meet
someone or something?
Wait, you met some fucking guy
named Guillaume?
In like the last week?
What happened?
Are you with him now?
You don't even know him.
This is bullshit.
It's not bullshit.
So what? It's real love. Okay.
Sorry, I forgot
running off to Paris.
The odds are that
within the first week,
you'll meet
the man of your dreams.
The world
according to Nancy Meyers.
It has nothing to do
with getting back at me.
You weren't even
supposed to be here.
How is this about you right now?
And don't judge my
feelings or romances.
You thought you're in love
with some wannabe model.
She modeled once for Mervyn's.
And my feelings were misguided and I
am now mature enough to see that.
Are you?
Have you slept with him?
No.
- But you stayed with him in Prussia or...
- Provence.
Whatever and you didn't
sleep with him? -No.
- Did you kiss him?
- Quinn...
You know what,
I don't even want to know.
Where are you going?
You don't even know your way
back home and you grew up there.
Well, maybe we should phone
Guillaume at his country house
and ask him for directions.
See if he has any recommendations
for city hotspots.
I'm sure he could tell us
where the Fitzgerald's,
or Hemingway used to
smoke opium or whatever. What?
No, it's just...
F. Scott Fitzgerald actually lived in
their house in Provence for a while.
Well, that is most
fucking amusing.
Merci.
You don't smoke.
Starting is
the hardest part, ma Cherie.
Galois's.
It'll put hair on your chest.
I preferred your chest
the way it was.
One,
two,
three.
If I spit it in the water,
will it come back to life?
No, no, no,
we can't do it on his bed.
What?
Okay, okay.
This is only good if
you have scoliosis.
Yeah, this is the greatest.
My God, that's like Danish
deco, like expensive.
How about this thing?
This thing,
it's like a Napoleon era...
I don't give a shit. Just, here.
I do, I'm sorry. I'm a guest.
Okay.
Just be careful. It's like
a Franco-Prussian teacup.
What, are you
his fucking curator?
Sorry, kind of.
- Good morning.
- Hi.
- Sleep well?
- Mmm-hmm.
So I was thinking,
we should call the airline
in addition, try to get tickets to
go home today or tonight.
Uh... What?
Alternatively, tomorrow.
Devon.
Fuck it.
I'm going to enjoy Paris.
I'm not going to let some
fucking cultural attache,
alternatively, whatever he is,
ruin my time here.
You want to sip
dandelion wine in the country
in addition, rave about socialism
in addition, eat whelks and winkles
in addition, suck the meat out
of a cockle, go ahead.
Move to France, why not?
Yeah, but...
I'm on vacation. Therefore, I'll
see you when I see you.
In addition, right now,
I'm in the mood for a crepe.
I'm sorry.
Wouldn't want to embarrass you by
crying in a fucking graveyard.
Why him?
It's not that I
want to be with him.
It just opened
my eyes, you know.
He's older, he cooks.
He and his dad played sonatas
for me in their living room.
We talked about art
in addition, politics and...
He loves Flaubert.
His family's just very
passionate about real stuff
and we just connected.
So he cooks.
I'm sorry, I don't cook.
My family ordered in
a lot when I was kid.
I think I'd like
to be buried here.
Today, if possible.
It must have been a bad crepe, I've
never had the dry heaves before.
Yeah, it was
incredibly anti-climactic.
What are you doing?
Um, I have a lunch
in about an hour.
A lunch? With who?
My grandparents.
Oh, wow, I've never met them.
I'm going alone, Quinn.
I'm not invited.
Quinn...
I flew all the way
out here to be with you
and you just sleep with me like
I'm some kind of boy-toy and...
Okay, first, I didn't
ask you to come out here.
No, you couldn't do that because
you don't know what you want.
So you're just
stringing me along?
Yeah, right, okay. You're the
victim. You're the martyr.
Did you pack your crucifix or
did they let you carry it on?
Baby Jesus.
I am not martyring myself.
Do you know how
selfish this is of you.
Of me?
You live your life like it's going to
be brilliant when it really counts.
Well, it is passing you by.
Look at your music.
How can you be a musician
when you're too afraid to play
in front of anyone?
I'm a perfectionist.
And I told you my hand span...
Shut the fuck up about
your goddamned hand span.
You're just masquerading as this sensitive,
magnanimous, self-deprecating person.
Your idea of self-deprecation
is everybody else's
definition of narcissism.
Well...
I know you came here
to bring me back with you.
But I don't want to go back,
I want to move forward.
I feel like I'm just
looking for
the name of the disease
that makes me make sense.
How do I be a man?
Hello, hello.
Hi! You do speak
a little English.
Hello, hello.
Okay.
Sorry, I'm late.
I couldn't find the address,
but then I did.
- Quinn...
- Devon, please.
Look, I've been trying to
ask you something.
Uh, Quinn, this is Guillaume.
Quinn...
I didn't know you were
joining us for lunch, pal.
Super.
I'm Guillaume.
So nice to meet you.
Um, I thought you were French.
Oh, yeah, well,
my father's French.
Yeah, just like Devon.
Wow. I'll go fetch you a plate.
What is he doing here?
And why's he being
so fucking nice to me?
Yeah, what an asshole.
He says, he's sorry that they only
have a footstool for you to sit on.
No, no, no.
It's my favorite kind of stool.
Yeah, speaking with
a French accent
isn't going to help
he understands you.
He wants you to have
an aperitif with him.
Oh, I just had a crepe... Okay.
It's Pernod.
He says, he's been drinking it
since he was a baby.
What's in it?
It derived from licorice.
It's a successor of absinthe,
relative of ouzo in Greece.
That does put it in
many contexts for me.
Aw. She got sushi for me
because she knows I like it.
They're saying,
you have a French face.
Ah. Thank you. It's awkward,
because I have an Algerian neck.
So they're always fighting.
They're not going to get it,
also it's offensive.
Don't edit my jokes.
Fine.
See.
The timing wasn't...
I thought it was very funny.
She says, she knows you weren't
originally going to come out to Paris.
What changed your mind?
Uh...
I...
realized I couldn't be
without Devon.
I want to wake up early
just so I can spend
more time with her.
When I'm around her,
the rhythm of
my breathing
literally changes.
I need her.
That's why I'm here.
What did she say?
She wants to know
if anyone wants cheese?
Bravo.
Mmm, Mozart, huh?
A genius.
Yeah.
Second concerto, right?
Yeah. Hey, how about that.
Are you a fan?
More familiar
with jazz but yeah.
Ah, you see, jazz...
It all sounds
the same to me, no?
Guillaume, what was the story
you told me about your violin.
Not much of a story. But...
Yes, this is a Jean
Baptiste Vuillaume.
There was perhaps
3,000 of them made.
This instrument probably costs
somewhere in neighborhood of $250,000.
If you can put a price on it.
It seems unusually small, no.
This is my baby.
My godfather is Pierre Boulez.
A famous conductor.
And he gave this
violin to my father
when he was first chair
for the Orchestra de Paris.
One of my favorite orchestras.
You know, Quinn, Flaubert said,
"Human speech is
a cracked kettle"
"upon which we tap crude rhythms
for the bears to dance to,"
"while we long to make music
to melt the stars."
Quinn plays the piano.
Yeah, I do.
- Yeah.
- Dev, can I ask you something?
That's so neat.
You going to play for us?
Sure.
I've never played
a Bluthner before.
But I'll give it a shot.
You finished learning it.
My God. Quinn,
your eye is insanely red.
- What? What?
- Um, oh...
It must be the...
- What is it?
- Pingueculitis.
I don't know how
to say it in French.
I can barely say it in English.
Let me get you a warm
washcloth or something.
Okay, Excusez-moi.
Quinn.
I'm in here.
Hi.
What the fuck?
Boy, your eye looks crazo.
What? What are you doing here?
The address in the database,
remember?
Okay, this is awkward.
No shit. This is not okay.
I am making a fool of myself
just like you said.
No. No, no, no. I...
Thank you for coming all the
way out here for me, Kelsey.
Quinn, I want...
Stop talking to me as me.
That's insane that you do that.
I don't feel that way about
you, Kelsey. Jesus, I'm sorry.
I was actually...
No, no, no. No prostitute.
A friend. A comrade.
My Vuillaume.
My God. My God.
Jameson, pick up. Fuck!
Hello.
Kurt, don't hang up.
Please. I'm in trouble.
- You're in trouble?
- Yes.
I mean, not physically.
Although, kind of.
All right.
I want your sister back.
I'm in Paris and I need her.
I want to marry her.
She's about to go to Provence,
with some French tool.
Dude, I'm in the middle
of a job interview right now.
Kurt, please! You're my friend.
You want her?
Because if you hurt her again,
I will destroy you.
I know. I won't, I promise.
Okay.
All right.
You listen very carefully, okay?
And I'm not just saying this
because I know my sister,
I'm saying this
because I know women.
You tell her, she can't see him.
She will see him.
And she will fuck him...
Tonight.
Man, I don't know.
She will fuck him.
Well, what do I then?
Hello?
Hello? Kurt, hello?
Shit.
Hi.
I have caused quite a tumult
here today.
You want to translate that
or they'll get the gist?
Or you can recap.
Anyhow,
I am sorry
to everyone.
I hope to make it up
and repay you all
emotionally.
I did this in a clumsy attempt
to win you back, Devon.
I apologize for the carnage
that has accrued along the way.
Needless to say,
I'll be going home now.
I love you, Devon.
I hope you can remember that.
Sorry.
Excuse-moi.
Like any
organ does as we grow older,
the eye deteriorate...
My baby boy.
So Paris was what? All right?
It was...
I don't want to say
epically emasculating
on a trans-continental level.
But...
No, actually I do.
Yeah, it's hard
being a man, huh?
And the hardest part is that it
becomes less acceptable to be a boy.
Do you love her? Devon?
I love her so much.
But I screwed up.
How did you know where I was?
I have my ways.
I heard you were
coming back tomorrow.
Mmm, I wanted to surprise you.
Sweet gig.
Yeah.
They pay me in
pad sees ew, but...
You know, I could stay
with Jameson tonight
if you want some space.
Quinn...
I came back for you.
Really?
I missed you.
There is a ring in my trunk.
What?
I have something in my trunk
that I wanted to give you
just at some point.
What? What is it?
Did you say a ring?
A ring?
Yeah.
Are you proposing to me?
Hang on.
Here.
What is this?
Uh, I guess, I guess...
I'm asking you to
marry me.
You guess?
No. No, no, no. I am. I...
I am.
- Here.
- Okay.
Sorry.
Devon,
will you marry me?
My God! Yes.
- Yes?
- Yeah.
I will.
I can't believe you did this.
I can't either.
I wanted it to be
more romantic. But...
No.
I just couldn't wait.
I couldn't wait.
I love you.
I love you.
There's one last thing
I should probably tell you.
What?
I slept with someone
while we were apart
and I told you
I hadn't seen anybody.
And that happened,
but we weren't together.
You didn't even know her.
It was just purely me trying
to get it out of my system.
Like you said,
I didn't even like it.
I wanted to have a clean slate
before we get married
and that's that.
So...
Are you mad?
You don't want to...
I'm sorry.
You okay.
How could you?
How could you ruin
this moment for me?
I'm not even upset about
the other part, but...
I can't tell my friends,
my parents this story.
Sure, you can.
You can leave this part out.
Just not even excited anymore.
I'm not happy.
And it's fucking September 11th.
Shit, is that today?
I didn't realize.
Well, we'll never forget.
But we can just get past this.
I mean, we're still
going to get married.
I don't want to talk
about it right now.
You're not considering
not marrying me, are you?
I don't want to talk about it.
But I, I...
I made a mistake.
I was just trying to be honest
with you, for us.
Not for me. I swear.
I've been dreaming
about how I was going to
propose to my girlfriend
since third grade.
This was not
what it looked like.
Fuck-o-fuck. I ruined it.
I fucked this up.
You're the love of my life. I fucked
this up. I've ruined your moment too.
Please, just say yes.
Call people. Enjoy this.
I'll do anything.
Here, just come back outside.
I'll propose again.
Please,
just switch your brain off.
It's willpower.
Please! I'm sorry!
Please say yes. Say yes!
Please! Please say yes!
Okay, okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
What the fuck is that?
The net didn't open.
What?
The plan was to propose
when you got back.
And if you said yes, I was
going to pull this string.
I didn't have time to test it. It's
filled with rose petals, but...
I guess, I rigged it wrong.
That's a good thing that you
didn't propose to me here.
It would've been
a total disaster.
Hey.
You want to try again.