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When Jeff Tried to Save the World (2018)
Five, four, three, two, one.
[BEEPING] Good morning, Sheila. Oh, is it? Hey, Stanford. What's up? - How are you doing? - Raul. [CELL PHONE RINGING] [SIGN BUZZING] JEFF: Hey, Stanford. Uh, could you call Frank and let him know the open sign broke? You know what, I got a better idea. [ON PHONE] Frank's here to fix it. How can I help you? Hi, Frank, this is Jeff, manager of Winky's World. - FRANK: Jeffrey, you son of a gun. - Yes. - Yeah, uh... - FRANK: What can I do for you, bud? [STAMMERING] The front light... The... The open side, is... It's broken so, I'm gonna need you... FRANK: Oh, yeah... - Yeah, um... - FRANK: Everything is real pretty. Oh, uh, I'm sorry. - Frank, hold on. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No worries, man. - I know you're busy. - I'm sorry, sir, this isn't a... FRANK: Bro? You still there? - You want me to come in right now? - Yeah, yeah, no, I'm sorry. FRANK: I can be there in like five minutes. Yes, no, uh, today, uh, don't come in... - FRANK: Oh, really? - Tomorrow would work fine. All right, tomorrow morning, 9:00 a.m. Yes, okay, that'd be great. FRANK: You know what I'm going to do? - I'm gonna bring you one of my breakfast sandwiches. - Oh, okay. - FRANK: I've been twisting my own turkey sausage... - Yeah. And let me tell you, it's very... - I don't do pork anymore. - Yeah. You know, heart healthy and I hear those pigs are really smart. JEFF: Frank, I got to get back to work. - FRANK: Okay, I get it. You're busy. - Yeah. - See you tomorrow, bud. Great hearing your voice. Love you. - Okay. All right. Bye. [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] Yeah? You're on shoes. Rock and roll. Fuck. Hey, did you wipe the counters? 100%. I will 100% do it in the morning. Peace. You want to keep these here, sir? All right. I'll find a good place for them. Good night. Hey, boss, heading home. Oh, uh, I'm sorry, I didn't... No, no, no, Jeff, good to see you. Come on in. Actually I was about to close up. Just saying good night. No, no, stay. We're done here. No, Carl, sit back down. No, no, here come on, here have a sit. Uh, listen, so that game you made, is still running this is still running, Wizzy's Wink, or something? Whizzing Winky's. You're going places. No, no, no, you, uh... You hold on to that. - [SIGHS] - [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] What was that about? This is the end of days. - What? - It's over. Wait, what is this? I... [STAMMERS] I don't understand. The building is too old to support Winky's, you know, 'cause Carl never dated it. And we can't afford to remodel, so, uh, insurance isn't gonna renew and we're basically a strip mall waiting to happen. Okay, so, what's Carl planning on doing about this? Carl, nothing. You know, he's just gotten rid of the biggest thorn in his side, barring me, of course. And when the divorce papers come through, he gets rid of me, too. Yeah, but... [SIGHS] This... This is his business. Yeah, but business is money, Jeff. And with Winky's gone. [DISTORTED] you can get in on the ground floor of whatever catastrophe they're going to replace us with. I mean, Carl's taking everything, absolutely everything, so it's not worth... [DOG BARKING] [COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING IN HOUSE] Hey. Oh, no, I know this seems weird but I swear, the microwave, it just kills the flavor. Hi. JEFF: Who are you? Uh, Lindy didn't okay this with you. Ah, Lindy? - LINDY: Uh, coming. - [TOILET FLUSHING] - [STAMMERS] Lindy. - No, no, I'm coming. I'm coming. Jeff. Hi. [LAUGHING] How are you? Oh, my God, it's been forever! You're like barely hugging me. Oh, my gosh, you look different. What's this shirt? - Uh... - Lindy. Did you ask your brother if it was cool for us to stay the week? - LINDA: Yeah. - Like we talked... - Mmm-hmm. - Yeah. - You did? - Yeah. Right? Or no, I guess I didn't. But it's fine, right? I am so sorry. [STAMMERS] How did you get in? Um, your landlady saw us waiting on the stoop and let us in. It's kind of a sketchy part of town... [LAUGHS] But, no, it's fine. Um, anyway, this is Samantha. She's been my roommate and my BFF for years now, which you would know if you ever visited. Uh, nice to meet you. I feel like I'm intruding, I do. LINDY: No, no, it's fine. We needed a break from school. He gets it. You don't mind, right? Fine. Um, where is your alcohol? I don't have any. Oh. Um, so, I'm just gonna take the spare is that cool? Pickles. Do you want some pickles, Jeff? I'm... Yeah. [ON VOICEMAIL] Hi, Jeffrey, it's Mom, just reaching out again. I hear your sister is visiting you. It's so nice of you to host her for a bit. She's been so stressed with school and I thought, hold on... Do you want to talk to him? No, it's voicemail. [LAUGHS] Well, your father is convinced you've completely forgotten how to use a phone. Now, I know you hate it but would it kill you to pick up a phone every once in a while? Well, you know what I'm going to say, we would really like to see you. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. Oh, my gosh. Sorry, I'm just wondering what your Wi-Fi password is? What? [DOOR OPENS] [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING IN WINKY'S WORLD] Hey, Jeff, good to see you. - Nick, how is it going? - Good. - Um, size 10, right? - Yeah. - And, uh... - She's a two. Thank you. What you think about doing your birthday party here this year? GIRL: Yeah, okay, that sounds fun! Can we at least try to fix this before calling it quits? Fix what? Are you going to crawl into the wall and become master electrician? Is Frank? I didn't think so. - There's got to be something we can do. - Shh. - You want some. - No. [KNOCKING AT DOOR] Knockity-knock-knock, paging Hugh Jeffrey. Hey, Franko. We'll be out in a sec. Ah, I'll just hop in. Sheila. How are you today? Bugs? Nice. Say, uh, Jeff, I can, uh, fix the open sign, I just need the proper parts but if you are planning on letting anyone know that we're open today... Oh, wait we don't have to worry about that issue anymore. No, we're gonna order the parts. Look, um, just find something else to fix in the meantime. There's no shortage, there is a leaky sink in the women's bathroom. Copy that, mi amigo. Sheila, I dedicate every drop to your beauty. Just kidding. [MUTTERING] [DOOR OPENS] [DOOR CLOSES] Oh, what the hell, we should get him back in here, he has the right to know. Not yet, we don't know enough right now. Jeffrey, you are a great manager, there's no question. And you're so smart. Whizzing Winky's, I mean, that's genius! You can keep it after we close, how's that sound? What's going on? - Oh, nothing. - Carl. - Carl? - They're finally calling it quits. Nobody is calling it quits. I have been waiting for her to divorce that jerk for years. - They are divorced now? - Oh, uh... Yeah, I think so. Jeff, this is my chance. Like, what you think I should do? I could bring her some gifts, you know, maybe bring her coffee in the morning? No, that's your thing. She likes the pugs. [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] Look, I'm going to need your help, okay? This is very important to me. Can you do that? [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] I don't have time right now, okay? Sorry. Right on. Cool, cool, cool. We'll do a mind jam later. We'll think tank it. We got this, brother. [SIREN WAILING] SAMANTHA: [MUFFLED] Wait, what? [LAUGHS] What does your mom think of us ditching out on orientation week? LINDY: She was like super cool with it. - Was she? - Yeah. Okay, because I was worried she hated me. No, no, no. I just... I told her I was gonna be your plus one to your mom's wedding. SAMANTHA: Oh, I wish you could be my plus one. LINDY: Well, I still can be. No, Lindy, you remember, we said I will go see my mom and you would check up on your brother. LINDY: I want to, but like the last time I saw him he was downright miserable but that was when he was still living at home so maybe things are different now. Why was he at home? Like, no job? And anxiety and depression and you know, classic cocktail. Yeah. That's hard. Yeah. That is what it is. What does he do now? Like, what do you mean? Like, what... What does he do for a job? - Or a living? - Oh, um... Just something in tech and com-pu-ters. BOTH: Com-pu-ters. [BOTH LAUGH] [CELL PHONE BEEPS] - SAMANTHA: I don't know, I might just go for it. - LINDY: I don't know. - I'm tired. [BOTH TALKING INDISTINCTLY] LINDY: Am I boring you? SAMANTHA: No, it's cool. Yeah. Just a little. Why is it doing this right now? - [ARCADE MACHINE BEEPING] - All right. [STANFORD TALKING INDISTINCTLY] STANFORD: We have the semifinals of the nursing home invitational. Let him roll! Yeah, God, you know what, you should just pack up and go home. [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] No, no, no! I saw that! That was insane. Someone buy that man a drink. Oh, my God! Okay, you know, as helpful as this brainstorming session has been, it hasn't. You know, Carl took me to Winky's on our first date. Opening day, when his parents took over. It was amazing. This place was packed lane to lane. And there was even a line at the bar. And there was live music and Carl was selling... Even though we can barely hear it, because the balls were rolling like thunder. That piece of shit, took me on our first date to his parents' bowling alley, where he knew he didn't have to spend a dime. I mean, there's got to be something we can do to change his mind. Mmm. Jeff, it's too late. Carl was coming in two days. He and whatever dickhead buyers he's partnered with, now they wanna whore out this building ASAP. Wait, what? What, um, hold on. Okay, what if we, um, okay, bear with me a sec. What if he tapped into that opening day feeling? Like, when he gets here Friday, picture this, okay, you've got like, neon lights, uh, packed lane to lane. You've got a band... A live band. You got lots of food, uh, lots of people bringing in tons of people. Stop right there, you're assuming that Carl has the capacity for nostalgia. No, he must feel something for this place, I mean, you do. How we both feel hasn't been aligned for decades. Okay, do you have any better ideas? No. - Jeff, wait, Carl doesn't remember any of this. - STANFORD: Okay. It's okay... Uh, attention, Winky's World players, Friday Funday, Friday Funday. This Friday, everyone here, bring your friends, your family, your coworkers, your classmates. It's going to be great. There's going to be free pizza, bowling, games, live music. Buy one game, get one free. Everyone, please bring everyone you know, we want to see this place alive! - [SCATTERED CHEERS] - Yeah. [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] Uh, I think Raul needs help with his car. [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] Hey, this is everything. Can we close up? - Even El Diablo's gone. - Who? El Diablo? Old guy who's been taking lane four. Oh. You call him the Devil? No, we call El Diablo. Raul started it. - See you tomorrow. - Later. - Good night. - Yep. - Hey, can you take these out? - Yeah. - [DOOR OPENS] - [ALARM BEEPING] So Raul said El Diablo used to be a professional bowler and he sold his soul to devil for the perfect technique. Mmm? Hey, uh, can I start working at the bar row? No. [CLICKS TONGUE] So what's the deal with this whole Friday Funday thing? Oh, um, it's just this marketing thing we're trying out. Seems kind of last minute, don't you think? [DISTANT WHEEZING NOISE ECHOING] This place is straight up terrifying at night. See you tomorrow. JEFF'S MOM ON PHONE: Hi, Jeffrey, it's me again. I know I just... I know I just called, but I was... I was talking about you at work because Judy asked... Well, her son is about to graduate, and looking for something with computers. But, I couldn't remember the name of the company you work for. Can you please call your mother back? I don't wanna leave my friend hanging. I hope everything's going well at work. Love you. [VIDEO GAME BEEPING] LINDY: Our problems can... SAMANTHA: Go lie down. LINDY: Wait. [DOOR OPENS] SAMANTHA: No, don't be sorry. LINDY: Thank you so much - for looking after me. - It's fine. Thank you. We went out. It was my idea. Come on. - But you're welcome. - LINDY: I love you. SAMANTHA: I love you, too. - Let's get you to the couch. - I'm good. I know you're good. I'm just gonna put you down for a second. Come on, let's just get you right there. There you go. LINDY: I don't need this help. SAMANTHA: I know. LINDY: Ugh. Oh, my God, don't tell Mom and Dad. SAMANTHA: Okay. LINDY: Ow! Ow! SAMANTHA: Sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay. - Ow! - Ooh, sorry. Jeff, give me a hug. I'm gonna go get you some water, okay? Thank you. Aww, Jeffy. My brother, so sweet. Thank you. Oh, my God, I'm stuffy, excuse me. [TAP RUNNING] I'm gonna study this. I think you should sleep. I'm on page 34. Is this 34? I really think you should go to sleep. Come on, take that. [SIGHS] Come on. Yeah, no, no, Jeff, Jeff. Yes, okay. SAMANTHA: It's fine. - Is she okay? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's fine. She's fine. Do you have any two player games? [JEFF AND SAMANTHA LAUGH] - You're not supposed to kill me. - [LAUGHS] The point of the game is to kill the other guy. Yeah, friendly fire. No, that doesn't work. No. Kill... - You know... - [LINDY SNORING LOUDLY] Oh. She's alive. [GUNFIRE IN VIDEO GAME] Thanks for taking care of her. Oh, yeah, of course. She's not running around at 100%... She's, you know... You know, I'm used to it. She's always been a bit of a workaholic. Is that a genetic trait? Oh. What do you think? She's definitely inspired by you. Uh, maybe inspired not to become me but... Sure, inspired. Well, she was really excited to come visit you and for me to finally meet you. [GRUNTING IN VIDEO GAME] - What's Winky's? - What? It was on your shirt the other day. Oh, uh... Is that, like, what they call IT guys? It's cute. Uh, no, it's, uh... It's a bowling alley. You bowl? Oh, that's so cool. Are you, like, on a league or something? Um... I work there. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. No, it's... It's a great place. I mean, the people that come there, they're just looking for a night off from their worries. And... I don't know, it's nice to be able to provide that for them. You know? Plus I have a routine there. It's comforting. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. You know what, I should get some sleep. - Oh. - You too. Yeah. Yeah, me too. [VIDEO GAME TURNS OFF] Ah. [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] Hi, um, I can't open the pull out with Lindy asleep on the couch. - Oh. - Yeah. Could I just get a pillow or a sleeping bag or something? And I can just sleep on the floor. You can sleep in my bed. 'Cause I'll just take the living room floor. No, no, no, that's crazy. I just... I need a pillow. - I can... I can sleep anywhere, it's fine. - No. Really, really, it's okay. It's okay. Are you sure? I feel bad. Don't. No, um... [SMACKS LIPS] Yeah. - Okay. - Uh... - Thank you. - You're welcome. Gee, uh, okay. - Uh, good night. - Good night. Thank you. - Oh. - Oh, I was just, um... - I was... - I was waiting... - I was gonna use the shower, so... - Oh. - I forgot. I just... - Yeah, go, of course. Of course. Go. - Okay. - Clean up. - [LAUGHING] Okay. Uh... - I mean, you don't need to. Uh... [PHONE BEEPING] [SHOWER RUNNING] [SAMANTHA HUMMING] [SAMANTHA SINGING INDISTINCTLY] [GASPING] [PANTING] LINDY: [GROANS] Shh! Go back to sleep. [SIGHS] [KNOCK AT DOOR] [DOG BARKING] [DOOR CREAKS] [SIGHS] [FLOORBOARD CREAKING] [SAMANTHA MOANING SOFTLY] Oh. Sorry. I'll just grab my charger. Oh, no, no, it's fine. - [SAMANTHA MOANING SOFTLY] - I'm gonna go. - Sorry, do you want me to get out? - Oh, no, no, no. You're fine. You're fine. [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] [AEROSOL CAN RATTLING] - Aw, shit! - [TAPPING] - [DOOR OPENS] - Damn it. What's your deal today? Nothing. Stop tapping. Go help him open up lane four. [JEFF SIGHS] [BOWLING BALL ROLLING] I'm Jeff, manager of Winky's World, where kids can be kids and adults can, too. We would like to tell you about one time offer... Deal we have for tomorrow. Today we would like to offer you a one time deal for tomorrow and tomorrow only. That's two... Just for tomorrow. [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] Hi, uh, this is Jeff, manager of Winky's World. I would like to let you know about a one time deal that we're having tomorrow, and tomorrow only. Yes, Winky's World. It's the bowling... The bowling alley, yeah. We'd love to invite you and your family. We're calling Friday Funday. Free pizza, uh, bowling obviously. You can buy two games for the price of one. We have the awesome arcade center that you can bring the kids to. We don't have VR. [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] And if you want to reserve a lane I would do it sooner, because we're filling up fast. So one lane? All right. [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] [ARCADE MACHINE WHIRRING] [ARCADE GAME BEEPING] It's all right, guys. Jeff made this game with his own two hands. If anyone can fix it, it's him. Is it dead? It might as well be. [MAN IN ARCADE GAME LAUGHING] - [POP MUSIC PLAYING] - Two lanes? Three to six? Yeah, you got it. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, all the dishwashers are the same. What... What did I say? Oh. Oh, um, sorry. The lanes are all the same, not the dishwashers. Yeah. Uh-huh. Awesome. All right, thank you. See you tomorrow. -[LOUD BEEPING] "Thanks Samantha." Ooh! [CHUCKING] Jeff, who's Samantha? Don't read my texts. Something's going on, what is it? Nothing's going on. Oh, really? Then who is this mysterious Samantha and why are you sexting her at work? I'm not... I'm just texting. - "Find a band"? - Give me that. Jeff. Jeff, my baby. - Do you need a band? - [SMACKS LIPS] I'm calling some local venues for recommendations, so I think we're fine. No. No, no, no, no, no. You don't need a band. Just give me a turntable, some Norwegian death metal, and a small line of cocaine and bam! STANFORD: I know a band. Are they any good? STANFORD: I think so. Well, then, can they be here tomorrow? - How long? - JEFF: All day. - Yeah. - What do you mean. How do you know? STANFORD: They can. Okay. I'm counting on you. Don't worry. [TELEPHONE RINGS] - Yes, this is Jeff from Winky's World. Hi, Carrie. Yeah... Yeah, Linda, it's tomorrow. Be sure to come early because it's going to be really packed. Lots of people. Free pizza, games, we're going to have a live band. Yeah, you should bring Lisa and the kids. It'd be great. Have a Winky wonderful day. You'd like to have two lanes? Awesome. Yes, that's tomorrow. All right, we'll see you tomorrow. All right. We'll see you tomorrow. Thank you. [MICROWAVE DOOR OPENS] [MICROWAVE DOOR CLOSES] [MICROWAVE BEEPING] [MICROWAVE RUNNING] SAMANTHA: Oh, my God, yes. No, I know, I know, I said I would be there, Mom. Seriously, it's just going to be few more days. Lindy's gonna drop me off at the train station and I'll be there in time for the rehearsal dinner. Okay? Oh, my God, yes, it fits. It's fine. Yeah, the zipper's fine. I... Everything's going to be great. Okay? It's gonna be so fun. I'm so excited. Okay. All right, I love you. Bye. - Oh, my God! - Mmm. Mmm! - [SAMANTHA GROANS] - Oh, are you okay? SAMANTHA: Yeah. What's wrong? Her... Her mom's getting remarried. She's fine. Oh... Um... At least the... Wow, the dress fits really well. That's good. It's fucking awful. LINDY: I love it. - SAMANTHA: You're... Liar! - I know, it's terrible. Oh, my God, urgh! If it makes her happy it's fine. LINDY: So what's the problem then? I don't know, I just, I... I thought when I became an adult, things will stop like flipping 180 on me, you know? And like now it's just... [CRYING] I just thought it will normalize and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, I get it. It's just weird. Why is this so weird? [SOBS] I think that attending your 60-year-old mother's wedding - is so normal. - [SAMANTHA GIGGLING] - I really do, actually. - Yeah. I have an idea, let's get drunk. Okay. And not think about anything like school or family or any of that. [LAUGHS] Okay. - Oh, you're smiling! - [SAMANTHA SIGHS] [SNIFFLES] Yeah. Let's just take this goddamn dress off... What the hell? Uh, what are you looking for? Uh, nothing. Um... Can I get you anything? I, uh... I was just looking for a bottle opener. Oh, yeah. - Right. - Thanks. - Oh. - I got it. Okay, thank you. You changed. Ah, yeah, yeah. Sorry you had to come home to my family drama. Why? You've been living in ours for the past couple of days, so it's only fair, right? Thanks. Do you wanna come join us? - Um... - Come on. Yeah, sure. SAMANTHA: Okay. - [SIGHS] - [GRUNTING IN VIDEO GAME] What exactly is orientation week? It's a life on the wards. It's basically an introduction to being a part of the team in a hospital setting. It's sort of the dos and don'ts of patient care. Oh, that sounds required. No, it's more like strongly requested. Lindy convinced me this was the better option than missing the wedding. [VIDEO GAME PAUSES] - Okay, screw this, I'm gonna take a shower. - Perfect. - But do my proud. Mmm. [INDISTINCT TALKING IN VIDEO GAME] So, does anyone other than me know that you work at a bowling alley? Not really. Wow. What? [GULPS] No, it's just, wow, I've... I am witnessing my first ever long-term con. Well, but it's not a con. Okay, then why the secrecy? [SIGHS] It just didn't work out. Okay, well, what, like, your parents can't find out, they wouldn't understand? [SIGHS] After college, my life was, very complex. I don't know it's hard to explain. Fine, you don't owe me an explanation, actually. I'm... I'm the stranger. One more? JEFF: [ECHOING] This is Jeff, manager of the Winky's World. I would like to let you know about... Hi, this is Jeff with a special one time deal tomorrow and tomorrow only. [JEFF TALKING INDISTINCTLY] Bring your friends, your family, your coworkers. [VOICE DISTORTING] Friday Funday! Friday Funday! [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] [GASPING] Oh, shit! Oh, dude, you're finally here. Sorry I'm late. I had to get some balloons. Here, help me blow them up before people get here. - [CHUCKLES] Yeah, I think you missed the balloon window. - [LOUD CHATTERING INSIDE] [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] Aw, man, it is really rocking today, huh? Yeah, uh, the band has a pretty decent following. Come in. Yo, sup, man? You got my set? - We need you, brother. - [LAUGHS] Hey, Jeff. Cool. This is tight, man. Thanks for having the boys. We're going to set up. We get free pizza all day, right? Yeah, man. Uh, does that free pizza extend to employees as well? [COINS CLATTER] So how do you know the band? Uh, I just fill in for their drummer sometimes. They sort of owe me. [MOCKINGLY] "Wow, Stanford, that's so awesome, I wish I was as cool as you." - TEEN BOY: Hey, are those 10-and-a-half? - [LOUD BEEPING] [GIRLS TALKING INDISTINCTLY] Carl, how's it going? Hi, Jeff, you're just the man I want to talk to. How can I help you? Well, Sheila probably told you that the buyers are coming back today. - Yes, she told me. - So I think you know what I'm gonna say. Best foot forward? [CHUCKLING] Yeah. Yes, always... Always that. - No, I wanted to... - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] Why are there so many people here today? You can't help it if business is good. I mean, this place is a community staple. Is that a band? Jesus, the last there was a band at Winky's, I was... Sheila tells me that you are a top-notch manager. She said you're smart and you're capable. - In what, computer sciences, right? - Yeah. You did that Winky Whizzything? It's very retro. There must be a market for that somewhere. Uh, Whizzing Winky's. You have no idea. Really, you gotta... You've got to reconsider that name. That's pretty awful. Here they are. Hello, you sons of bitches! - Carl, how are you doing? - I'm good. Good to see you. - Long time no see. - Yes! How've you been? Man, I hate all that phone tag shit. Oh, God, yeah, I know. It's much better face-to-face. So, listen, I would like to officially welcome you to Winky's World. Uh, I'm glad you guys are in the mood to buy because this property is ripe to sell. [CHUCKLES] Looks like a pretty popular spot. Didn't you say it was dead weight? Yeah, it's normally a ghost town, so this is a bit of an anomaly. [BAND PLAYING FUNK MUSIC] Hey Ask yourself, baby I'm sitting here awake and alone I just need a cigarette I love the way you roll your own [BOTH TALKING INDISTINCTLY] Me, I like between the blinds If every friend's a stranger JEFF: Winky's World has been around since the late 1960s. It was first owned by Edgar Winkle before it was finally owned by the... Okay, you know what? None of that. We don't need a damn history lesson. All right? We just want to tell these men what they need to know. Okay, we want dimensions, perks of the location, the important details. - Plumbing. - Plumbing, yes. Oh, I, uh... I don't really know about that kind of stuff. But, uh... Oh, hey, Frank. Hey, buddy what's up? Carl. Oh, uh, sorry to take you away from work, but, uh, these gentlemen here would like to know, more about the inner workings of Winky's, and I thought who better to ask than our resident fix-it-guy. [LAUGHING] You said it. You said. Well, Winky's is great. From an expert perspective, this place should really be a historical landmark. Not because it's old but because it's still running somehow. What do you mean? Well, it's the, uh, electrical grid. It's old as shit! I'm actually amazed we can run so many lanes and games on it. If you ask me, this place is gonna... [IMITATES EXPLOSION] Eventually. Wow, I had no idea. Well, what does that mean for the future of this building? Well, I can't really imagine it functioning as anything else. A dim-lit retro bowling alley is about all it could be. And how much would it cost to upgrade the electrical grid? Ooh-hoo-hoo, doggy! It'd be a hefty price. Let's just say it would take someone who cared deeply about this place. I'm talking personal commitment. Oh, thanks, Frank. - Uh, I'll let you get back to work. - Yes, Frank. Thank you. No, Carl, thank you. Well, it's a good thing you boys aren't planning on remodeling, huh? [CHUCKLES] Total demolition, right? MIKE: That's the plan. Yeah, bang, bang, bang, tear it down to the ground. [CHUCKLES] Listen, I'm also open to negotiating a deal on the equipment. The shoes, the balls, the equipment. [CARL TALKING INDISTINCTLY] I've got a couple of good brews over there. If we live forever STANFORD: One of the pins is stuck, and, uh, man-to-man, I hate going back there alone, so, maybe you can come with me? You. The nephew! Here. I need your help. Come on. STANFORD: Help? - How close are you with your uncle? - Uh, not. But today you are, okay? I want to go over there and tell him how much you love working here. In front of those guys as well. - Sell it. - Hey, who are they? Tell them that, uh, this has been your best employment experience... - Only employment experience. - That you're proud to finally be a working class citizen. - I am? - And that you've quit smoking pot. - But I haven't. - And, uh, that you can't wait to continue the family legacy someday. It's a little much. Don't you think? [TOILET FLUSHING] [TAP RUNNING] [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] Could you please just do it? Okay, but will you help me with the pins? [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] Okay. Which one is it? Maybe it's this one. Yeah. It's... Hey, what's that? What's what? JEFF: What is this? STANFORD: I said it was a ghost. Hey, do ghosts need water? I don't know. Well, what are you going to do? Hey, we should tell Sheila. I can call the cops and whoever it is, they can get to him. It could be anyone. And I mean anyone. No, don't do any of this. Don't do anything. Just... [SIGHS] I need to think. Could you, uh... - You know what this means, right? - No. Stakeout, dude! Right, you handle the munchies, and I'll bring the... You wait out behind the pins... Boom! Just go talk to him. - [SIGHS] He's scary. - Go. - [LAUGHING HEARTILY] - STANFORD: Hey, Uncle Carl. - Hey, how's it going? How are you? - Good. - Hey, guys. Hey. - Hey. [BAND CONTINUES PLAYING] Sheila. - Sheila. - What? We have a little situation in the back. - You should probably know. - Oh, it's pointless. What, Carl? Uh, that's actually going pretty well. Oh, it won't work because it's all gone down the shitter so why aren't you just giving in? When did you become so complacent? I am not complacent. I am trying my best out there and you haven't done a thing except drink. You don't know that, I'm working form the inside. Tried to bang my ex-husband into submission. I mean, it was a night of passionate love making between two people who are on completely different life paths. I mean, he is only here to gloat. That is it. [SIGHS] Every memory we ever built is going to disappear. It's all my fault. You are talking like it's already over. God, did you see those suits out there? Oh, like... They are like carbon copies of one another. I'm telling you this, every woman for herself. I am fist fighting the wolves. Jeffrey, wait. You know, maybe this is a good thing. Maybe it is time for you to use your brain for bigger and better things. I've got to get back to work. Jeffrey. Jeffrey, wait! Jeez, watch where you're going there, brother. What's with you? Hey, is Sheila in there? - [SIGHS] No. - Oh, okay. Okay, well, I'm off. Tell her I said hi. I will. Um... Hey, I'm sorry about back there, I pulled out. No, no, no. I think it's pretty safe to say we're all balls deep. Yeah, thankfully they forgot all of your little informational tour. Let me ask you a question. Did you really think that parading Stanford around is going to sway me? He's a terrible actor. [CARL TALKING INDISTINCTLY] You need security I need a surety You're good. Sure. Hard work... Winky's World going all these years, right? Flattery now! Oh, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you are better than that. [CLICKS TONGUE] Come on. [INAUDIBLE TALKING] I tell ya, I don't understand. Some people, they call it a sport. - [LAUGHING HEARTILY] - It is a sport. Yeah, perhaps agree on recreation. Hey. Move. [EXHALES SHARPLY] I still don't get it. You're going to have to put on some different shoes. Oh, no, no, we're done here. Oh, Jeff, you sound like a great guy. Maybe, you know, I'll have a job for you after, uh... I, uh... I appreciate that. Hey, so, goodbye, Jeff, goodbye, Winky's World and I've got to find the boys. We're gonna be signing some papers. [ALL IN SLO-MO] [BOWLING BALL THUDDING] [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] How are you doing today, buddy? - You were good. - You see, Jeff, that is what I'm offering you, unconditional brotherhood. You give me a script with little to no context, I ask no questions... [IMITATES GUNSHOT] [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] Oh, and, hey, that sign outside? Totally fixed. We are officially open and ready for business. - Awesome. - Yeah, now switching gears... [FRANK'S VOICE ECHOING INDISTINCTLY] LINDY: Jeff. Jeff. What? [SCOFFS] Okay, I'm leaving, this is, like... What do you want from me, huh? Oh, my God. I don't know, how about like an explanation would be really nice right now. Okay. I work here. This is my job. You work here and this is... Okay, do Mom and Dad know? Of course not. Why? "Why?" I'm sorry, did you see any new software development in there. Any research? Any high paying positions? That's why. Now I just see my liar brother. In a dirty bowling shirt. Look, you know what? No. That's why I didn't tell you. Oh, it's my fault. It's my fault. Guys, it's my fault, just so you know. Thank you. I'm so, so sorry. [CAR DOOR CLOSES] Hey, uh, I don't think Uncle Carl bought what I was selling. Uh, yeah, it's, um... It's fine. [CLEARS THROAT] [SIGHS] [SMACKS LIPS] - You sounded good today. - Really? Thanks. Yeah, I had lot of fun playing with those guys. Well, you should play more often. Uh, yeah, maybe I will. See ya, Jeff. - [DOOR OPENS] - [ALARM BEEPS] - [KEYS JINGLE] - [THUDDING] SAMANTHA: [SIGHS] God damn it! Come on! [SAMANTHA GROANS] Samantha? [SAMANTHA SIGHS] I always knew I can never be a surgeon, and now I know I can never be a mechanic either. [STAMMERS] What are you doing? I'm, uh, trying to fix it. As an apology. Oh, you don't have to do that. No, uh, I should never have brought her to Winky's, that was... That was not my place. I was... I was trying to bring you guys together or something... No, sorry, that was my bad for putting you in that position, so I'm sorry. Um, should we address these, since this is a last cause? I suppose we should. [SOFT POP MUSIC PLAYING] So have you ever had to call time of death? - That's a really morbid question. - Sorry. I'm just curious. Um, no, not yet, at least. You think you'll ever have to? My God, I really hope not. All right. Oh, no, I may have to call before... What? Winky's. Why, what happened? It's a... It's a long story. Can I get a brief summary? [SAMANTHA CLEARS HER THROAT] Oh, you didn't even say where to start. Building upgrades we can't afford. Insurance that isn't even there. - My bosses' crumbling marriage. - Ooh! - Sounds fun. - Mmm-hmm, it's a blast. [SAMANTHA SIGHS] You've been there a while, right? Yeah, I mean, you know, to make some money so I could live on my own. At least in the beginning. You talk about it like it's embarrassing. Yeah, but remember, I was supposed to be a computer engineer. Now I find joy in smelling bowling shoes. I think that's awesome. I do, I would... I would take smelling bowling shoes over hospital disinfectant any day. [CELL PHONE RINGING] - [RINGING CONTINUES] - [LAUGHS] Answer it. Yeah, what do you want? I was fucking right, Jeff, this place is haunted. What are you still doing at work? I... I, uh, came back to study. You came back to smoke. STANFORD ON PHONE: No, no, no. No. Yes, but I am dead serious about the ghost. All right, it's totally in the walls. It's an old building, okay? I can hear wheezing, man. - Check behind the pins, see if somebody is there. - STANFORD: No, no. Uh-uh. I'm not going back there alone. Fine, fine I will be there. STANFORD: By the time you get there, I'm dead. Just remember, I've always loved you. You are the man. Bye, Stanford. Want to come with me to Winky's? SAMANTHA: Ah, Jeff, I love this place! This reminds me of the bowling alleys I used to come to as a kid. - Oh! - Wait, you bowled? Yeah. If bumper bowling counts I was the best. Okay, Stanford, come on, get your stuff, it's time to go. [DISTANT AIR HISSING] Did you guys hear that? Sorry. No, it's probably just the air. It's on a timer. Come on. [WHEEZING IN DISTANCE] What, do the vents have a cold? Uh, whoever's here, we're closed. It's time to leave, now. You can't just tell a ghost that we're closed, man. You've got to speak Latin and shit and have a priest. Oh, hey, we should call Raul. He's Catholic. - Who are you? - I'm Samantha. I'm Jeff's sister's roommate. Oh, cool. I'm Stanford. [COUGHING IN DISTANCE] [WHEEZING IN DISTANCE] - [OBJECT RATTLING] - [COUGHING IN DISTANCE] [DOOR CREAKING] [MAN COUGHING] Oh, shit! Well, call an ambulance. Hey, hey, don't touch him, okay? Hi, there is an elderly man here with very weak pulse. He's barely conscious. Yeah, we're, uh... We're at... - Winky's World... - Uh, on Kennedy. On Kennedy. We're going to be in the back room behind the lanes. Okay, thank you. [COUGHING AND WHEEZING] [INDISTINCT TALKING ON HOSPITAL PA] [MACHINES BEEPING] JEFF: Thanks for helping out. I can drive you home, if you want. That's okay, Lindy's gonna come pick me up, so... My train leaves in a couple hours. You're leaving today? Yeah. Yeah. My mom's wedding is tomorrow, so, you know, I gotta be there. He's going to be okay. Oh, what did they say was wrong with him? Malnutrition and dementia mostly. Yeah. He can't breathe very well, so the have him on a respirator right now. Apparently he's been brought in before. Do... Do you know how long he was back there? No, I don't... Just noticed him this week. [CELL PHONE BEEPING] Ah, okay. Lindy's here. - [CLICKS TONGUE] - [SIGHS] Well, thanks for having me. Oh. Of course, anytime. Really. Bye. Bye. [PILLS RATTLING] Hey, where did you get those? I... I found them in the bathroom, I thought you didn't want them. So... So you just decided to take them... What the hell is wrong with you? I didn't know you needed them. - I have anxiety, too. - Just give them back. Let's go. - [SIGHS] I'm sorry. - We have meeting, let's go. [SIGHING] [SHEILA CLEARS HER THROAT] SHEILA: "It was 1957", "when Edgar D. Winkle first stepped into this building "with no more than $30 "in his pocket and a dream in his heart. "Little did he know that it was to become the place we know, "and love today. "Winky's World. "I have been... [EXHALES SHARPLY] "I have been proud..." Jeffrey, could you, uh... Could you read this for me? [CLEARS THROAT] "I have been proud to call Winky's my home, "and all of you my family. "This is a special place where kids and adults alike can escape the real world." "But sometime the real world catches up with you," "you have to face the facts." Here are the facts, as of Monday, everyone here is laid off. - Jeffrey. - I'm sorry. I could keep reading these note cards and avoiding the inevitable, or I could just say it. Winky's is through. - Whoa, whoa, wait, really? - You're kidding. Yeah, uh, we can't afford to upgrade the place so the insurance isn't being renewed. Yeah, sure the building is an old lady, but she still has a few more good years left in her. Just need a little TLC, man. From who, Frank? - You? - I have always paid attention to Winky's. Really, then how did you miss the old guy living behind the pins? - What? - His name's El Diablo. Wait, what are you talking about? The old guy who was bowling on lane four? He was literally living behind the pin setters. For how long? I don't know. Frank, how long? I... I don't know. I don't go back there, man. It's scary. It's been a couple days. Well, why didn't you tell me sooner? Well, hey, he told me not to. No, no, no, you do not get to preach honesty to me, you little pill thief. Pill thief? And maybe if you were ever sober you'd notice that your nephew has been hoarding my anxiety medication and, no surprise to anyone, I'm medicated. Oh, honey we're all medicated. - Have you been stealing his medicine? - I didn't steal it, it was on the ground, so I thought he wasn't using it. Oh, so now you're doing drugs. Was he ever not? Okay, let's just take it easy on the kid, man. He's... Oh, really. Pugs, not drugs. And we're not gonna take it easy on him. You save that shit for college. What if I don't wanna go to college? Oh, no, you're going to college. You have to go to college. Why would I need college? It's not like it did anything for you. You said so before you prefer working in a bowling ally. Yeah, I would rather have done something with my life. Oh, so you'd rather tell me how to live my life than do something about your own? Huh? Sheila, I'm in love with you. I know this is not the optimal time to be saying this but, emotions flying high and I'm gonna ride that vibe. So listen to me, you are an amazing boss, an incredible aunt, and a damn fine woman. [SOUND DISTORTING] [FRANK ECHOING INDISTINCTLY] [SHEILA SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] [VOICES OVERLAPPING] Shut up! Just shut up! Maybe we all should think about the people who come here, drink here, have real problems. No jobs for years, no families, no money, what about them? They have problems. That's life. When things happen you pick up, you move on. You get a new job, you find new love. Lose your happy place? You move on! Make a new one. Thank you, Sheila. I'll pick up my check when it's ready. The very best to you. Yes. Of... Of course, Raul. Thanks. SHEILA: Jeff. I can't bring myself to throw it away, so why don't you take it? Seems a little morbid, don't you think? Yeah, well, wear it around your neck. Like, "I'm open for business. Hire me!" [CHUCKLES] How about one last hurrah tonight, you know? Can I count you in? We'll see. JEFF'S MOM ON PHONE: Jeffrey, it's me, Lindy told us everything. Now, I know you had your doubts about what you wanted to do with your life. But, I... A bowling alley? For how long? Uh, never mind, that's not important. I just wished you would have called and explained. We... We don't care about where you're working. We just want to know if you're happy. All I want is one phone call. I love you. What's this? [KNOCKING AT WINDOW] I'm locked out. You have the spare. No, I don't. Sam has it from when I was drunk and she's on a train. Oh. Thank you, by the way, for making out with my best friend, really. - She told you? - Of course, she told me, she's my best friend. What's your deal? Take my key. Why, you're not coming in? Where are you going? Nowhere, Lindy. Okay, well, I want to go to nowhere. Can I come? I said I'm not going anywhere, Lindy. Don't touch that. What is your problem? Why did you tell them? - Jeff. - It... It's not your place. Okay, really? Were you going to? Yeah, eventually. What? No, you have no idea. Like zero idea how much Mom and Dad talk about you. I had to go to med school for them to even remember that I exist. And they're like barely happy with me unless I get a 4.0. I mean, Mom told me to visit you because she thought it would make me feel better. In reality, she wanted me to check up on you. [LINDY SIGHS] You have no idea how much pressure they put on me to follow in your footsteps. All this time you worked in a fucking bowling alley. [LAUGHS] Why are you laughing? You literally shine shoes for living. What? You do! Yeah, I do, I... Can I please come in? The car. What is that thing? Don't worry about it. [CAR DOOR BEEPS] You know, Mom and Dad, just, like, really want to be a part of your life again. I'm tired of disappointing them. You're disappointing them by not taking to them. I don't want to talk to them. Why? They're just gonna think I'm wasting my life. - Aren't you? - No, Lindy. I like working at Winky's. Okay, I'm sorry, I... I actually didn't know that. You just thought that I wouldn't understand, but I... I would. What? Why are you... I would, Jeff. I'm just so damn tired. LINDA: Who's that? That's a... It's a founder of, uh... Of the bowling alley that I work at. Edgar Winkle. Winkle? Winky. [LAUGHING] Okay... He used to... He used to bowl in this bowling league. - Mmm-hmm. - Called, uh, Winky's Bowling Boys. "Winky's Bowling Boys"? - Shit. - What? Shit. LINDY: Jeff. Jeff, please slow down. Jeff, are you okay? JEFF: Here, give... Give me the bag. - LINDY: Jeff. - Just follow me. - Come on. - LINDY: Jeff. JEFF: The key to save Winky's is in that room right now. Edgar is in here. The original founder of Winky's is in this hospital. - What? - Oh, my God. He was living in the building the whole time and we had no idea. Jeff, are you having a mental breakdown? Because I don't know how to help you if you're having a mental breakdown. No, I'm fine. I'm great. Oh, okay. I'll be... I'll be here. [MACHINES BEEPING] El Diablo. Can you hear me? El Diablo? Edgar. Edgar. Where's Ed? - Edgar? - You're Edgar. You're Edward Winkle, right? "E-D." Ed, it's written on your shoes. Winky's is home just like the portrait says, it's you. Isn't it? No, I'm not Edgar. No, no... [SIGHS] But here, the picture. Right here. There's your name, Edgar Winkle, right there. And that's you. Edgar was my best friend. We were the reigning bowling champs, for years. What happened to him? He died young. This is the last picture taken of him. Winky's Bowling Boys disbanded. It wasn't the same. What's your real name? Ernest Delaney. [CHUCKLES] But they... They all used to call me, Ernie the Gurney because I knocked the competition flat on their backs. It's nice to meet you, Ernie. - Yes? - I need your help. Okay. Here we go. Down one ear. Down the other ear. And adjusting that. Okay. Hey, this is insane. Here we go. - [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] - Okay. Okay, let's do it. Hey, Carl. Was... What are you doing here? I still own the place. Not for long. Yeah. [SCOFFS] It's probably easy, you know, to turn me into the villain, but, uh, I needed a break from my life as it was and I will not apologize for that. You don't have to. But what I am sorry about is that somehow you got stuck in the middle. Jeff, you're a good guy and I truly, truly wish you the best of everything. I liked the band. Who knew Stanford played drums? [CHUCKLES] Not me. LINDY: If you say so. [CAR DOOR CLOSES] [CAR ENGINE STARTS] Okay, how's the nasal cannula? You want that to just stay in. Uh, Lindy, where are you going? I don't know, to your apartment? Come with us. Really? Okay. [CHUCKLES] [OXYGEN TANK CLANKS ON GROUND] STANFORD: You got it, Frank. [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] [ALL CHEERING] Whoo! Here we go, baby. SHEILA: Um, sorry, uh, we're closed. FRANK: Well, well, well, look who made it. SHEILA: Jeff? Here. Uh, I was gonna hold on to them. - [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] - FRANK: Yeah! I wasn't like stealing them, I promise. I just... Didn't want them to get thrown out... Oh, no, it's okay. SHEILA: Easy! - STANFORD: All right. - Thanks. [INAUDIBLE CHEERING] So, what is next for you, Jeffrey? STANFORD: Oh, oh! - [STANFORD TALKING INDISTINCTLY] - I have no idea. You know, I have every faith that, no matter what you do, you're gonna be just fine. - And I'm not just saying that. - [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] You are going to be just fine. I think you're going to be just fine, too. [FRANK IMITATING BOMB FALLING] Frank bomb! Oh! Heyo, all right. Have room for another? STANFORD: Come on! - Yes! - LINDY: That was pretty good. - Yes! - LINDY: That was pretty good. ERNEST: Spare, yes! [STANFORD TALKING INDISTINCTLY] - Uh, excuse me for a little bit. - Sure. Well, I will take this as an opportunity to get closer to you. Aw! - Sheila? - Yes. Oh! SAMANTHA ON VOICEMAIL: Hey, what's up? Um, so I accidentally stole your key. I put it in my purse or something when I came home that other night. Um, anyway, uh, I need your address, so I can mail it... Uh... Yeah, nevermind, I'm realizing I can just... Um, anyway, take care, Jeff. Talk to you later. Bye. FRANK: My man, my man. [ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY] [ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY] SHEILA: Roll! FRANK: I'm not good at bowling. STANFORD: All right, El Diablo, let's go. [INDISTINCT TALKING] [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] STANFORD: That was amazing! [ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY] [BOWLING BALL THUDS] STANFORD: Go again. Go, go. - [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] - [ALL CHEERING] FRANK: Three in a row! [ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY] [LINDY LAUGHING] [FRANK TALKING INDISTINCTLY] [BOWLING BALL THUDS] [BOWLING PINS CLATTERING] FRANK: Yeah! STANFORD: Oh! [BOWLING BALL THUDS] [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] [FRANK TALKING INDISTINCTLY] [ALL CHEERING] [FRANK TALKING INDISTINCTLY] [LINDY CHEERING] [FRANK TALKING INDISTINCTLY] [CLEARS THROAT] Hi, Mom. |
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