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Widows' Peak (1994)
[HORN HONKS]
[HONK] MORNING, MA'AM. [HONK HONK] THE CURSE OF GOD ON YOU! GOD BLESS HIM. ISN'T HE GREA FOR HIS AGE? [BICYCLE BELL RINGS] [HONK HONK] MISS GRUBB, YOU BOLD THING, YOU'RE TAKING US HOME. IT'S THE THIRD SUNDAY, THE DAY FOR THE CEMETERY. I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO PICK UP MASTER GODFREY. GODFREY IS NOT NEX OR NEAR THE HOUSE. JESUS! HE'S AT THE DENTIST. YOU HAVE THE HEIGHT OF LUCK, MR. DOYLE-COUNIHAN. SUNDAY DINNERTIME, MANY A PROFESSIONAL MAN MIGHT BE INTEMPERATE. NOW, LOCAL ANAESTHETIC. I GOT I AT THE LOCAL. MR. CLANCY, SUDDENLY I FEEL A LOT-- THAT'S WHA THEY ALL SAY. THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE WHERE TOOTHACHE IS UNKNOWN. OPEN UP NOW, SIR. THINK OF YOUR MAMMY'S LOVELY HOUSE BURNING TO THE GROUND. HUH? THAT'S THE STUFF. NOW, IDENTIFICATION PARADE. UHH! YOU'LL TELL ME WHEN I GET WARM, WON'T YOU? FAIR DUES NOW. AAH! AAH! ARE YOU SURE? [MUMBLING] WE'RE ON THE PIG'S BACK. I WON'T NEED TO PULL THAT BUGGER. IT'LL WALK OUT. STILL, NO SENSE IN DISCOURAGING BUSINESS. OHH... HOLD STILL NOW. AAH! HOW'S THE MAMMY? MMM! FRESH AND WELL SHE'S LOOKING. THE WOMAN, I ALWAYS SAY, IS BORN FOR WIDOWHOOD. IT IS HER NATURAL VOCATION. THE WOMAN IS INCOMPLETE UNTIL HIMSELF IS 6 FEET UNDER. AAH! WHO ARE YOU TELLING? YOU ARE A YOUNGISH MAN. YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, NO SOONER DOES A WIDOW LEAVE OFF WEARING HER WEEDS, THAN PEOPLE ARE NEVER DONE TELLING HER HOW RAVAGING-- HOW RAVISHING SHE LOOKS. WOULD YOU THAT IS WHY YOUR OWN MAMMY, HAVING BEEN TWICE BEREAVED, IS AHEAD OF THE FIELD IN THE BEAUTY STAKES? NOBODY'S GOING TO TELL ME I DON'T DISINFECT. I DOTE ON WOMEN, SO I DO. I COULD LOOK AT THEM UNTIL THE COWS CAME HOME. MR. DOYLE-COUNIHAN, I WOULD NOT, AT THIS MINUTE, BUT IN YOUR DIRTY AGONY OF THE DAMNED, EXCEPT THAT THE FIRS THAT I SET FOO IN THIS TOWN, I SAW HER-- MISS CATHERINE O'HARE, A JEWEL, A SKYLARK IN THE HEN HOUSE. SHE'S AS POOR AS JOB'S ASS IN A TOWN THAT'S AS RICH AS GOD. SHE HAS THE SMALLEST HOUSE AND THE SWEETEST SMILE ON WIDOW'S PEAK. THERE'S A SECRE ABOUT HER, WOULD YOU SAY? WHERE DOES SHE FIT IN? IF YOU KNOW, DON'T TELL ME. I LIKE A WOMAN WITH A BIT OF MYSTERY. [BELL RINGS] OH, THE FIRST DAY I CAPPED EYES ON THAT ONE, I MADE UP MY MIND. IF SHE ENDS UP AS ANYONE'S WIDOW, IT'LL BE AS MINE, OR I'LL SWING FOR HER. AAH! I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. [COUGHS] BACK THAT AT A 100 TO 8, YOU BOLLOCKS, YOU. [GIGGLES] LADIES, THAT'LL DO. ENOUGH'S ENOUGH. WE DON'T WAN TO SPOIL THEM. UHH! OH, MRS. LACEY, NO GETTING MORBID. IF YOU PLEASE, LADIES. IT'S A BUSY DAY FOR US. ANYTHING STIRRING, MISS GRUBB? IT'S CLANCY THE DENTIST. HE'S CALLING ON MISS O'HARE. OH, SHOW. IT'S TOO LATE. THEY'VE GONE IN. THE SILLY WOMAN. YOU'D THINK SHE'D HAD ENOUGH OF THA SORT OF CARRY-ON. I DO HEAR HE'S OVERLY FOND OF HIS JAR. HE'S A MAN. THAT'S ENOUGH. WHAT, DEAR? I SAID HE TAKES THE SNUFF. OH. GOOD MORNING, MISS O'HARE. I HOPE I DIDN' HUNT YOUR VISITOR. OH, MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN, NOT AT ALL. MR. CLANCY WAS JUST... ADMIRING MY ROSES. SURE, WHY WOULDN'T HE? WOULD YOU LIKE A JAUNT? EXCUSE ME? GET IN NEXT TO ME. SURE, WHERE'S THE HARM, SAYS YOU, IN A BIT OF STYLE? HOW ARE YOU, MA'AM? PEOPLE DO PAY ME COMPLIMENTS ON MY ROSES. I DO TELL THEM THERE'S NOT A HA'P'ORTH OF SKILL INVOLVED. A WEENIE BI OF LOVING CARE, MAYBE. MIND, I'LL OWN UP TO IT. I WOULDN'T MIND TO GROW A ROSE OF MY OWN. AND YOU WILL, PLEASE, GOD. I DON'T KNOW. BUT IF I EVER DO, I'LL CALL I THE WIDOW'S PEAK. YOU'LL WHAT? IN HONOUR OF OUR LITTLE KINGDOM AND HOW SNUG WE ARE IN IT. MY DEAR, I HOPE YOU'LL DO NO SUCH THING. WIDOW'S PEAK? THAT'S THE NAME USED BY THE JEALOUS BOOTS IN TOWN. UH, MISS GRUBB, SLOW DOWN. IT'S THE LUCY GIRL. THE POOR CREATURE. WHAT POOR? NOW, WE GAVE HER EVERY CHANCE, SO WE DID. GET IT ADOPTED, WE SAID TO HER. BUT SHE'D SOONER MAKE A SHOW OF HERSELF AND OF US. WHERE WILL SHE GO? WHERE DO YOU THINK SHE'LL GO? WHY ELSE DID GOD IN HIS GOODNESS INVENT ENGLAND? A NEW ROSE, NOW THAT'LL BE NICE FOR YOU. AND, OF COURSE, IT MEANS YOU WON' BE LEAVING US. IS IT ME? FOR GRACIOUS SAKE, WHY WOULD I WANT TO LEAVE? NOW, AREN' PEOPLE SCANDALOUS? THE WAY THEY TALK ABOUT YOURSELF AND MR. CLANCY. ABOUT-- CORNER-BOY GOSSIP. BUT DON'T MIND IT. THE WORD IS HE'S POPPED THE QUESTION. HELLO. HELLO. THE QUESTION? ONE QUESTION OR THE OTHER. EXCUSE ME? AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT THE OTHER IS. MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN, MR. CLANCY IS A GENTLEMAN THROUGH AND THROUGH. HE WOULD NEVER DREAM-- MISS O'HARE, DO YOU SEE THE GREEN IN MY EYE? NOW, LISTEN HERE. YOU KNOW ME OF AN OLD DATE, AND I DON'T RUB VINEGAR INTO A CUT, BUT IT DOESN'T DO TO HAVE TOO SHOR OF MEMORY. WE DON' WANT THAT CARRY-ON A SECOND TIME. ONCE BITTEN-- YES! AND A WOMAN OF YOUR YEARS... HAS THE MAN NO DECORUM? SO IT'S TRUE THEN? OLD MRS. MELODY'S COTTAGE HAS BEEN SOLD. NOW, THERE'S ANOTHER EXCITEMENT. I'M TOO OLD A DOG TO ACT IN BREACH OF MY INSTRUCTIONS. YOUR REVERED MOTHER-- R.I.P.-- LAID DOWN TERMS UNDER WHICH PROPERTY ON WIDOW'S-- ON THE HILL MAY BE LEASED-- NO CHILDREN UNDER ADULTHOOD, NO MALES OF ANY KIND, EXCEPT IN THE CASE OF YOUR SON MASTER GODFREY, AND NO MARRIED OR SINGLE LADIES, UNLESS BY EXCEPTIONAL CONSEN OF THE RESIDENTS. IN SHORT, MA'AM, ALL IS WELL. OH, RATHER, THE NEW OWNER OF MELODY COTTAGE IS, UNHAPPILY, A WIDOW. EH, UNHAPPILY. AND, WHAT IS MORE, A WAR WIDOW, OR, AT LEAST, A POSTWAR WIDOW. HER HUSBAND, MAJOR BROOME, V.C., RECENTLY DIED OF WOUNDS RECEIVED IN 1918. WILL YOU GO TO GOD? A--A V.C.? DO YOU MEAN-- HE WAS IN NO, HE WAS WITH THE GERMANS. WAIT TILL WORD GETS OUT. AND THAT MAN'S WIFE IS COMING HERE? IF YOU PLEASE, MISS O'HARE, I'M TALKING. NOW, UH, I CAN'T SAY I'M PARTIAL TO MILITARY MEN. THEY HAVE A COARSENESS I CAN DO WITHOUT, BUT A MEDAL NOW IS DIFFERENT, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S, UH, FROM WHAT THEY CALL-- FOR VALOUR? UH, POSTHUMOUS, I WAS GOING TO SAY. POSTHUMOUS IS NICE. AND HIS WIFE? THERE ARE NO CHILDREN? YOU'RE CERTAIN? THE LADY IS A BIRD ALONE. SHE SHOULD BE FLYING IN JUST ANYTIME NOW. [AIR HISSING] SHIT! HEY! DAMN IT. [THUNDER] OH, MY! HAD A PUNCTURE? NO, MY CAR THREW ME. LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND. HA HA. HA HA, YOURSELF. THANKS, BUT DON'T YOU THINK YOU MIGHT GET DIR ON YOUR FANCY DRESS? A FEW SPOTS? WHO CARES? THE VERY THING. [INHALES DEEPLY] MRS. BROOME, ISN'T THAT IT? 10 OUT OF 10. I SAW THE REMOVALS VAN. I'M GODFREY DOYLE-COUNIHAN. THE MAMMY AND I LIVE UP THE HILL FROM YOU. UP WIDOW'S PEAK. WIDOW'S-- IN KILSHANNON, MRS. BROOME, WIDOWS ARE AS PLENTIFUL AS FRECKLES ON A REDHEAD. MAYBE YOU KNEW THAT? I CAME TO KILSHANNON FOR THE CLIMATE. WHAT CLIMATE? WE'RE IN IRELAND. WAS I MISINFORMED? BEFORE YOU JACK UP THE CAR, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO PUT A WEDGE UNDER THE WHEEL TO KEEP IT FROM-- WOULD YOU SAY I'M DOING YOU A SMALL FAVOUR RIGHT NOW? DON'T TELL ME YOU WANT A FAVOUR IN RETURN? NOTHING OF A DISGUSTING NATURE. WHEN YOU MEE THE MAMMY, AND YOU WILL, DON'T LET ON TO HER THA I CAN CHANGE A TYRE. WHY? SHE THINKS I'M LIKE THE REST OF THE MEN, HELPLESS, BIT OF A NAMBY-PAMBY. YOU KNOW WHA MAMMIES ARE LIKE. I PUT ON AN ACT FOR HER. I PRETEND I'M HELPLESS WITHOUT HER. SHE'D NEVER GET OVER I IF SHE DIDN'T THINK I WASN'T HELPLESS, THAT I COULD DO THINGS WITH MY HANDS, LIKE, UH, CHANGING A TYRE. AHEM. [WHISPERING] I'LL KEEP YOUR SECRET. OH, LOOK. ARE YOU IN TROUBLE? LET'S JUS SAY IF I HAD A BAD REPUTATION, YOU'RE DOING I THE POWER OF GOOD. WHOA! YOU'VE ARRIVED. EXCUSE US. I WAS MARRIED, YOU KNOW. YES. AND I STILL LIKE A GOOD STRETCH. SORRY I CAN' OFFER YOU TEA. NO TEAPOT, NO CUPS, NO SUGAR, NO CREAM, NO TEA. I COULD, UH, LIGHT A FIRE. A BOY SCOUT. I'M SURE YOU COULD. TELL ME, DO YOU HAVE A MAID? NOT UNTIL NOW. YOU'LL NEED ONE. UP HERE ON THE PEAK, HAVING SOMEONE IN TO POLISH YOUR SILVER MARKS THE POIN WHERE WOMEN LEAVE OFF AND LADIES BEGIN. I DON'T MAKE THE RULES. THE WOMEN DO, RATHER, THE LADIES. EACH ONE HAS A MAID. AFTER YOU'VE BEEN A WIDOW FOR 30 OR 40 YEARS, HAVING A CHAPERONE AROUND MAY NOT BE A NECESSITY, BUT IT DOES WONDERS FOR THE MORALE. MR. DOYLE-COUNIHAN, I THINK YOU'RE A BRAT. LET ME GIVE YOU A TIP. OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART, FIRST THING THE MAMMY WILL DO IS FIND YOU A MAID, AND 10 TO 1-- IT'LL BE MATA HARI. OH, YES? MADDIE O'HARA, THAT IS. DURING THE RECENT TROUBLES, DUBLIN CASTLE HAD AN INTELLIGENCE NETWORK THAT WAS ONLY LEGENDARY. MADDIE WOULD KNOCK THEM INTO A COCKED HAT. THE SORROWFUL FACT IS, WHERE MATA HARI IS CONCERNED, THERE'S NO SUCH PLACE AS NO MAN'S LAND. HOW MANY TIMES? 14, CANON. [GODFREY] SHE TAKES THE FRON LINES WITH HER. WAS HE MARRIED? MY SISTER'S HUSBAND, CANON. OH, DEAR, DEAR GOD. DID YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN IT? I--I DIDN'T MIND. OH, DEAR, DEAR, DEAR GOD. TROT OUT THE DETAILS. SPARE ME NOTHING. SO, MRS. BROOME, TELL THIS POOR ADMIRER-- IS THA WHAT YOU ARE? WHAT BROUGHT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIKE YOU TO END UP ON WIDOW'S PEAK? TRUTHFULLY? WHEN WE'RE BETTER ACQUAINTED. BARGAIN. THERE, THAT'LL PU A BIT OF WARMTH INTO YOU. IT'S TAKING NICELY. BE ROARING IN NO TIME. WELL, I'LL LOVE YOU AND LEAVE YOU THEN. BUT REMEMBER, NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME WITH HERSELF, DON'T LET ON TO HER I'M SUCH A HANDYMAN. MAMMY'S THE WORD. AH HA! GOOD LUCK NOW. SEE YOU SOON. I CAN'T WAIT. [PIANO PLAYS] [BOOS AND HISSES] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] IS THIS MRS. BROOME THAT'S IN IT? YES. HELLO. I'M MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN. ER, WHAT WAY ARE YOU? GOD BLESS YOU, YOU'RE AS WELCOME HERE AS RAIN IN A DROUGHT. THANK YOU, I-- CREATURE, YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING WHERE THE PEOPLE FROM THE TOWN SIT? MOVE DOWN WITH US. YES, YOU WILL. NOW, UP YOU GET. NO, REALLY, I-- NOW, DON'T BE SHY. THERE'S BUCKETS OF ROOM. NOW, I SAY YOU WILL. EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY. THANK YOU, BUT I WAS QUITE COMFORTABLE. IT'S NOT THE THING. WHAT? WE KEEP SEPARATE FROM THE TOWNIES. WE DON'T MIX. THAT'S THE CUSTOM, WELL, AT LEAST, SOME OF US DON'T. MISS O'HARE, MAKE ROOM. THERE'S A GOOD WOMAN. NOW, DOWN YOU SIT. ISN'T I A MASSIVE FILM? I DO HEAR TELL YOU SEE GOD IN THE SECOND HALF. ER, MISS GRUBB, HAVE YOU THE FEW SWEETS? SO, TELL, EH, HOW ARE YOU SETTLING IN? YEAH, NO, WAIT. WHERE IS MY MANNERS? MRS. BROOME, THIS IS MISS O'HARE. OH, BUTTER WOULDN'T MELT, BUT A GREAT CHARACTER. HOW DO YOU DO? AH, MISS GRUBB, WHY ARE YOU TEMPTING ME, YOU BOLD STRAP, YOU? WILL I, WON'T I? WILL I, WILL I, WILL I? [BELL RINGS] I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO THE OTHER LADIES AT THE HOUSE. WE'RE ALL GOING THERE FOR TEA AFTER THE FILM. WHAT WAS I ASKING YOU? OH, YES, ARE YOU SETTLED IN? I THINK SO. IT WAS A BIT CONFUSING TO BEGIN WITH. THE PACE IS SO DIFFERENT IN IRELAND. BUT I'M GETTING THE HANG OF IT. BUT, YOU'RE NO PARDON ME? WHAT I MEAN IS, YOUR ACCEN IS AMERICAN, ISN'T IT? OH, LORD, IS IT SO NOTICEABLE? YES, WELL, I GREW UP IN AMERICA, IN WASHINGTON. MY FATHER WAS MILITARY ATTACH AT THE EMBASSY THERE. OH. THE BRITISH EMBASSY, THAT IS. [PIANO PLAYS] AH...GRAND. HERE COMES GOD. OOH! OOH! OOH! [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. THEN, UH, AFTER THE WAR, I--I WENT TO FRANCE TO VISIT NIGEL'S-- MY HUSBAND'S GRAVE. I SUPPOSE ONE MIGH CALL IT A PILGRIMAGE. THEY GAVE HIM A MEDAL? A WHAT? THE V.C., YES. I COULDN' GO BACK TO ENGLAND, NOT TO LIVE ALONE. WE HADN' BEEN BLESSED WITH CHILDREN. SO, I WENT SOUTH, TO THE RIVIERA. I TOOK A HOUSE AT ANTIBES. I WAS THERE SEVEN YEARS, SINCE 1919. THEN I LEFT, AND HERE I AM. AND WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU WANT TO LIVE? NOBODY IN THEIR SENSE WOULD LIVE IN FRANCE. WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO HONOUR US? DON'T TELL ME YOU WERE TIRED OF THE BLUE SEA, PALM TREES, AND THE SUNSHINE. NO. NO, IN MANY WAYS, I WAS... SORRY TO LEAVE. BUT YOU DID. MISS O'HARE, YOU'RE BEING INQUISITIVE. IF MRS. BROOME HAD A MIND TO MOVE FROM ONE PLACE AND GO LIVE IN ANOTHER, ISN'T IT HER OWN AFFAIR? LADIES, AMN'T I RIGHT? YES. OF COURSE. I ENJOYED LIVING IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE. THERE'S NO SECRET WHY I LEFT. I--I HAD TO. I DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK TO ENGLAND. THERE WERE TOO MANY, UM... PAINFUL MEMORIES. YOU HAD TO LEAVE? WELL, I HARDLY LIKE TO SAY. I'M SURE. YOU SEE... IT IS, UH, MISS, UH, O'HARE, ISN'T IT? I HAD BEEN MARRIED, AND, UH, NOW I WAS A WIDOW, AND I WAS STILL, FORGIVE ME, QUITE YOUNG. MY HUSBAND HAD SEEN TO IT I WAS NO UNCOMFORTABLY OFF. I LEFT ANTIBES BECAUSE, UM, BECAUSE OF MEN. BECAUSE OF FORTUNE HUNTERS. OH, WASN' THAT WOEFUL FOR YOU, YOU CREATURE, YOU. WELL, IT WAS PROBABLY TIME TO GO ANYWAY. I MISSED HEARING MY OWN LANGUAGE SPOKEN, AND I MISSED THE CLIMATE WHERE YOU GET SNOW AND SUNSHINE AND RAIN AND FOG, ALL IN ONE DAY. AND NIGEL HAD OFTEN SPOKEN SO AFFECTIONATELY OF IRELAND. HE LOVED THIS COUNTRY SO. HE TOLD ME HOW HE CAME HERE FOR THE SHOOTING. REALLY? WHAT DID HE SHOOT--IRISHMEN? UH, MISS O'HARE, HONEST TO GOD. WHY NOT? IT ISN' AS IF WE'RE EVER OUT OF SEASON. MRS. BROOME, UH, DON'T MIND A BIT OF HER. MISS O'HARE HAS HAD FAMILY MISFORTUNES. OH, DEAR. AND EVEN SO, WE DON'T TALK ABOU SUCH LOW GOINGS ON AS WARS AND MASSACRES AND PEOPLE GETTING SHOT. WE LEAVE THA TO THE MEN, SEEING THEY'RE GOOD FOR NOTHING ELSE. DOES THAT INCLUDE MISS O'HARE, I THINK YOU'VE EXCEEDED YOUR ALLOWANCE. ANYWAY, FIGHTING AND TROUBLES AND SUCH, AREN'T THEY ALL BEHIND US AND IN THE PAST? NO. UH, UH, ANOTHER PIECE OF SWEET CAKE, MRS. BROOME? NO, NO REFUSALS, NO. UH, YES, YOU WILL, UH, JUST IN YOUR HAND. HOW WONDERFUL IT MUST BE, MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN, TO HAVE A SON WHO'S SO, UH, HELPFUL. OH... GODFREY'S A WONDER. WE'D BE LOS WITHOUT HIM. HE'S THE ONLY MAN HERE WHO'S WORTH HIS SALT. A MAN? GOD FORGIVE YOU, DOLORES FURLONG. SHE WANTS TO PU IDEAS INTO HIS HEAD. HE'S ALL I HAVE, MRS. BROOME. GO ON. YOU'RE AN OLD COD. STILL, THE MAMMY AND I ARE GREAT PALS. OH, HOW LOVELY. ARE YOU IN BUSINESS, MR. DOYLE-COUNIHAN? GODFREY. I DO HAVE A PROFESSION, YES, THE LAW. BUT I DON'T PRACTICE MUCH THESE DAYS. THERE'S TOO MANY JOBS AROUND THE HOUSE. OH, POOR GODFREY. SURE, HE TRIES. I'M SURE. THAT REMINDS ME, I'LL BE NEEDING A HOUSEMAID. I WONDERED IF YOU MIGHT-- WITH A HEAR AND A HALF. IN FACT, THERE WAS ONE WOMAN I HEARD ABOU WHO SOUNDS LIKE A PEARL BEYOND PRICE. WHAT WAS HER NAME? OH, YES... MADDIE O'HARA. [COUGHS] UHH! [GODFREY] OH, DEAR. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? ABOUT THE WIDOW? WELL, WOULD YOU NOT SAY YOU COULD DO A LOT WORSE? FORTUNE HUNTERS SHE RAN AWAY FROM. YOU COULD BE WELL-MATCHED. [TOOT] OH, SON, PUT AWAY YOUR TOY. YOUR MAMMY'S TALKING. I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERS THAT THINKS THEY CAN HOLD ON TO A SON DOWN ALL ETERNITY. OH, YOU'LL GO FROM ME SOMEDAY, I KNOW THAT. SO, NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HER? NOW, MAMMY, STOP IT. NO MATCHMAKING. I'LL DECIDE WHETHER I LIKE MRS. BROOME OR NOT. YOU WASTEFUL CHILD, YOU. WHAT DO YOU THINK MAMMY IS FOR? WHY DO YOU THINK THERE'S NOTHING BUT DIVORCES IN AMERICA AND ENGLAND? BECAUSE PEOPLE CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES, THAT'S WHY. IT'S SCANDALOUS. I THINK I'LL CALL UPON HER SATURDAY AFTERNOON AND ASK HER TO GO FOR A STROLL BY THE LAKE. YOU DO. DO. AND, UH, PRETEND YOU'RE AS GOOD AS 10 CARPENTERS. YES. MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL. YEAH. A WIDOW. THAT'S GOOD. SHE KNOWS WHAT THERE IS TO KNOW, AND HER STOMACH WOULD HAVE BEEN TURNED BY IT. SHE'LL HAVE LEARNED HER LESSON. SHE WON' HARM A HAIR OF YOU. I HAVE MADE INQUIRIES IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD, AND REALLY, MISS O'HARE-- OR MADDIE. MAY I CALL YOU MADDIE? YOU SOUND LIKE ABSOLUTE PERFECTION. NOTHING BU THE HIGHEST PRAISE. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. YOU'LL WANT MORE MONEY. WELL, LET'S NOT QUIBBLE. SHALL WE SAY WHATEVER YOU WERE GETTING AT YOUR LAST PLACE PLUS 5 SHILLINGS A WEEK? I DO, HOWEVER, HAVE TWO FIRM RULES THAT WE MUST AGREE ON FROM THE START. THE FIRST IS NO GOSSIPING. I WILL NOT HAVE WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS HOUSE TALKED ABOUT. GOSSIP? IS IT ME? OH, NO, NO. PLEASE, I WASN' FOR A MOMEN SUGGESTING THAT-- I SWEAR ON THE GRAVE OF MY MOTHER THAT'S DEAD-- IT ISN'T NECESSARY. IF A WORD OF GOSSIPING OR CARRYING STORIES EVER PASSED MY LIPS OR EVER WILL, MAY I BE PUT SITTING ON THE HOTTEST HOB IN PURGATORY. MAY I SPLUTTER STEAM-- PLEASE, I-- UNTIL GOOD FRIDAY FALLS ON A SATURDAY. MADDIE--MISS O'HARA, I WAS MERELY STATING A RULE OF MINE. THE FACT IS, EVERYONE I'VE SPOKEN TO IN KILSHANNON AGREES THEY HAVEN' HEARD ONE WORD OF SCANDAL PASS YOUR LIPS. ONE COULD AS SOON GET GOSSIP FROM THE TOWN HALL CLOCK. EXCUSE ME? AS FOR THE OTHER RULE, I CAN'T ABIDE DOORS OR DRAWERS OR CUPBOARDS UNDER LOCK AND KEY. IT'S A FETISH OF MINE. I LIKE EVERYTHING... OPEN AND ACCESSIBLE, SO OF COURSE I NEED A PERSON SUCH AS YOURSELF WHO--WHO DOESN'T PRY, WHO RESPECTS THE PRIVACY OF HER EMPLOYER. IS THAT TOO ECCENTRIC ON MY PART? I'M DEAD. THAT'S WHAT IT IS. I'VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN. GOOD EVENING. YOU'RE READY. GUESS WHAT. I'VE HAD AN IDEA. YOU LOOK-- OH, GOOD. AS YOU'VE BEEN SO KIND AS TO TAKE PITY ON A LONELY LADY, I THOUGHT, LET'S MAKE THE MOS OF ITS BEING SATURDAY, AND INSTEAD OF A WALK, WHY NOT A DANCE? GOOD GOD. WHENEVER NIGEL WAS ON LEAVE, WE'D GO DANCING EVERY EVENING AND ALL AT THE SAVOY. PEOPLE NICKNAMED US THE CASTLES. YOU'VE HEARD OF THEM? VERNON AND IRENE CASTLE FROM AMERICA. OH, WELL, THE FACT IS-- DON'T TELL ME THERE'S NO PLACE WE CAN GO. I'LL DRIVE US INTO LIMERICK. UNLESS THERE'S A PARTY OR A HUNT BALL-- DON'T TELL ME THERE ISN'T ANY. WELL-- NO DANCING AT ALL? WELL, YEAH-- WELL, GOOD. LET'S GO. BUT YOU HAVE TO BE-- MADDIE, I'LL BE BACK BEFORE MIDNIGHT. IF MY LUCK RUNS OUT. Y-Y-YOU DON'T GET MY DRIFT. THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF DANCING THAT YOU--OH... THIS PLACE WE'RE GOING TO-- KATY DALY'S. WHO DID YOU SAY? THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED. I OUGHT TO WARN YOU, IT ISN'T EXACTLY THE SAVOY IN LONDON. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, GODFREY DOYLE-COUNIHAN, DON'T YOU THINK I CAN MAKE ALLOWANCES? POTTED PALMS, FOUR OLD LADIES-- A HARP, A VIOLIN, A PIANO, AND A CELLO. WHO CARES? CON. MR. CLANCY. HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU DO THAT? IT'S THE SAME AS PULLING TEETH, ONLY IN REVERSE. THAT WOMAN--SHE'S THAT PECULIAR FRIEND OF YOUR MOTHER'S. MISS O'HARE. SHE OUGHTN'T BE HERE NO MORE THAN US. MIND YOU, SHE'S MAD. SHE DOESN'T LIKE DOES SHE? I DON'T KNOW WHY THE OLD DEARS BID HER THE TIME OF DAY. THEY'RE SUCH SNOBS, AND SHE'S POOR. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT TO ASK? I ONCE SAID TO THE MAMMY, "WHAT'S THE SECRET? WHAT IS THIS HOLD MISS O'HARE HAS OVER YOU?" YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID? "ASK ME NO QUESTIONS, I'LL TELL YOU NO"-- [MUSIC STOPS] OH. IT'S OVER. STAY OU OF THE DITCHES. GOOD EVENING, MISS O'H-- COLD FOR THE TIME OF YEAR, ISN'T IT? AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE NEXT DANCE WILL BE AN OLD-TIME WALTZ. LADIES' CHOICE. AND, UH, FOR THIS DANCE, THE SPECIAL SPOT PRIZE WILL BE TWO TICKETS FOR THE PREMIERE PERFORMANCE OF THAT GREAT FILM THE BIG PARADE, STARRING JOHN GILBERT. LADIES' CHOICE. DOES LADIES' CHOICE MEAN THAT I'M SUPPOSED-- HEY, MISTER, WOULD YOU BE ON FOR A DANCE? UH...I'D--I'D, UH, I'D BE DELIGHTED. JESUS, I'M MADE FOR LIFE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO? I WAS READY TO SLASH MY WRISTS. SHALL WE? LOVELY ORCHESTRA, ISN'T IT? DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN? TERRIBLY JOLLY, ISN'T IT? JESUS. NOW, NOW, NOW. EVERYBODY STAY WHERE YE ARE. DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE! OFF YOU GO, MRS. FOGERTY. TAKE FIVE PACES FORWARD! OVER HERE! NOT A JIG OUT OF ANYONE! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. ARE YOU THERE, MRS. FOGERTY? I AM. O.K. SO NOW, UM, UM... TURN RIGHT! TAKE THREE PACES! 1, 2, 3. YES? NOW, NOW, NOW, TURN LEFT. TAKE SIX PACES! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. YES? AND NOW, LAST OF ALL AND FOR THE PRIZE, TURN LEFT AGAIN. OH. SOMETHING DISGUSTING STEPPED ON MY SHOE. AND TAKE TWO SHORT PACES! 1, 2. OH, I'M SO SORRY. I LOST MY BALANCE. HAVE WE A WINNER? WE HAVE! EXCUSE ME. COME BACK HERE! THERE YE ARE. AND THE GREAT STYLE OF YA! WHO DESERVES I BETTER? I DESERVE I BETTER! THIS WOMAN PUSHED ME. OH, KATHERINE. WITH ALL HER STRENGTH. I DID NO SUCH THING. THAT'S A LIE. HOW DARE YOU. I FELL AGAINST YOU ACCIDENTALLY. TO BE SURE YOU DID. THE SAME YOUR LO HAVE BEEN FALLING AGAINST US FOR 700 YEARS, ACCIDENTALLY. I SEE. I'LL TAKE THAT, IF YOU PLEASE. WHILE THERE'S BREATH IN MY BODY, YOU WON'T. KINDLY LET GO. GIVE IT TO HER. NO! I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR A PUBLIC QUARREL, LEAST OF ALL IN PUBLIC. AS FAR AS THIS PRIZE IS CONCERNED, YOU'RE WELCOME TO IT. THANK YOU. ONCE YOU OWN UP THAT I DID NO PUSH YOU DELIBERATELY. HA! KATHERINE, JUST LEAVE IT. HEY, MOSSIE, YOU'RE SLIPPING. YOU OUGHT TO DANCE WITH A BETTER CLASS OF MOT. THAT ONE WOULD TAKE THE PENNIES OFF A CORPSE'S EYES. HEY, HEY, HEY! NO ROWDYISM! THAT'S MINE. THEN TAKE THEM. IF WOMEN DON'T WAN THEM TICKETS, I DO! OOH, CON, WHAT'S HAPPENING? YOU SHOULD KNOW. YOU STARTED IT. CAN YOU NO DO SOMETHING? SURE, IF ONE OF THEM NEEDS A DENTIST. I'M NEW HERE. I DON'T KNOW THAT WOMAN. I'VE NEVER DONE HER ANY HARM, AND YET SHE HATES ME. WHY? IS THAT THE REASON, REALLY? NO. MRS. BROOME... EDWINA. EDWINA. DID YOU REALLY BUMP INTO MISS O'HARE BY ACCIDENT? OF COURSE. WELL, GOOD NIGHT. THANK YOU. MOST OF IT WAS LOVELY. THANK YOU. AND I REALLY ENJOYED THE DRIVE. PERHAPS NEXT WEEK WE COULD, UH-- COME TO TEA ON MONDAY. WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT. THE MAMMY WANTS YOU TO SI ON THE LADIES' COMMITTEE. IT'S TOWN PLANNING AND THINGS LIKE THAT. IT'S DULL AS A WET GOOD FRIDAY. I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. I WOULDN'T. GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. WHY DID YOU IGNORE MY ADVICE ABOUT MATA HARI? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE WILL BECOME KNOWLEDGEABLE THROUGHOUT THE LENGTH AND BREADTH OF THE 26 COUNTIES? I DON'T MIND IN THE LEAST. I DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS. GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. [SNORING] IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME SAYING SO, DEAR, DANCE HALLS ARE FOR PEOPLE NOT LIKE US. NOW I DON'T BLAME YOU, NOT A BIT. HAVE NO IDEA ABOU SOCIAL DISTINCTIONS. MISS O'HARE WAS AT THE DANCE. YES, WELL... SHE'S ONE OF...US. SHE IS, AND SHE ISN'T. SHE'S HALF AND HALF. WHAT HAS SHE GO AGAINST ME? I'VE TRIED TO BE FRIENDLY, BUT IT'S WAR TO THE KNIFE. WHY? WHY, WHY. "Y" IS A CROOKED LETTER, PET. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I HAVEN'T THE REMOTEST. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A TALK WITH HER? YEAH, BE NICE. I HAVE BEEN NICE. BE NICER. PUT YOURSELF IN THE RIGH AND HER IN THE WRONG. OH, THERE'S GODFREY! MAMMY! HA HA! COO-EE! SHE WINS PRIZES FOR HER ROSES EVERY YEAR AT THE ADARE FLOWER SHOW. TELL HER YOU NEVER SAW THE LIKES. RUMP DEE DUMP DEE DA DA MISS O'HARE. MADDIE, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO MISS O'HARE PRIVATELY, IF YOU DON'T MIND. I BROUGHT YOU A PEACE OFFERING. IT'S JUST SOME FRUI FROM MY GARDEN. I HAVE NO USE FOR IT-- THE FRUIT, I MEAN, NOT THE GARDEN. MISS O'HARE, DON'T YOU THINK WE COULD AT LEAS TALK LIKE GROWNUPS? IF I'VE DONE ANYTHING TO OFFEND YOU, I PROMISE YOU THAT I SIMPLY WASN'T INTENDED. I KNEW IT WAS NO USE COMING HERE, BUT AT LEAST I TRIED. IF WE'RE NOT FRIENDS, IT'S BY YOUR CHOICE, NOT MINE. GOODBYE. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE FACE OF HER? WHAT AILS THE WOMAN? WHAT BADNESS IS IN HER? IS THERE ANY RHYME OR REASON TO IT? I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S RUDE AND HATEFUL, AND THERE'S NO REASON TO IT. NO! MA'AM, THEM'S THE ONES FOR THE FLOWER SHOW. She said, "I brought you a gift." NEXT. LADIES, ARE YOU COMING IN, OR AREN'T YOU? And then you know what happened? She went over to the prize rose bush and broke two of them. THIS IS A LIKELY SPOT. FOR WHAT? A PROPOSAL. HOW DID YOU KNOW? MY LATE HUSBAND PROPOSED TO ME IN THE LAKE DISTRICT. HE BELIEVED WATER WAS ROMANTIC. YOUR OWN MOTHER'S NEVER DONE SAYING THAT ALL MEN ARE ALIKE, SO... IN THAT CASE, IT WOULD BE LIKE MARRYING THE SAME MAN TWICE. I CAME HERE TO BE RID OF MEN. FORTUNE HUNTERS. THAT EXCLUDES ME. WE HAVE POTS OF MONEY, AND SO HAVE YOU. OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN' BE HUNTABLE. THERE ARE THOSE WHO'D SAY WE'RE WELL MATCHED. INCLUDING YOUR MAMMY? ESPECIALLY THE MAMMY. YOU WAN TO BE RID OF MEN? MARRY ONE. I DON'T LIKE IDLERS. I'LL GO BACK TO THE LAW. I DON' LIKE LAWYERS. THEY CONSOR WITH CRIMINALS. NO, THEY DON'T. THEY CONSOR WITH OTHER LAWYERS. THAT'S WHAT I SAID. ISN'T THERE SOME FAMILY BUSINESS SELLING BOTTLED MINERAL WATER FROM THE SPA? THAT'S HOW WE MADE OUR MONEY, BUT THE WELL DRIED UP YEARS AGO. THEN IMPORT SOME WATER. BETTER STILL, USE ORDINARY WATER AND WHATEVER MAKES I TASTE DISGUSTING. MY GOD, YOU'RE AS CROOKED AS ANY LAWYER. AREN'T I JUST? WHEN I RECEIVE YOUR PROPOSAL, I'LL CONSIDER IT. MEANWHILE, IT'S CUSTOMARY TO PROVIDE A SAMPLE OF GOODS ON OFFER. UM... WHO'S GOING TO PROVIDE THE SAMPLE? THINK OF IT AS MUTUAL-- TIT FOR TAT. BLOODY FOOL! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FOOL? THAT'S MY CAR! STOP IT! AAH! [BICYCLE BELL] YOU SAY THE WOMAN ON THE BICYCLE WAS TOO FAR OFF TO IDENTIFY AS MISS O'HARE? WELL, ALLOW ME, IF YOU'LL PARDON THE EXPRESSION, TO MARK YOUR CARD, MA'AM. EVEN IF YOU COULD IDENTIFY HER, AND IT WAS MISS O'HARE, THERE'S NOT A SHRED OF EVIDENCE THAT SHE DID IT. WHO ELSE COULD HAVE DONE IT? THAT'S NOT WHAT A JUDGE WOULD ASK A JURY, ESPECIALLY NOT IF THE JURY AND THE DEFENDAN WAS IRISH AND THE PLAINTIFF IT WAS SHE. I KNOW IT WAS. MA'AM, I HAVE A SON IN TRINITY COLLEGE AND A WIFE WHO SAYS WITHOUT A FUR COA SHE'LL DIE OF PNEUMONIA, SO I COULD DO WITH A FAT LAWSUI THAT WOULD LAST A WEEK. I COULD ASSURE I TOMORROW AGAINS MISS O'HARE. THEN DO IT. YOU'D LOSE, AND THE IRISH ARE A LITIGIOUS RACE. SHE'D BRING A COUNTERSUI AGAINST YOU, AND THE UPSHO WOULD BE SHE'D NEVER NEED TO TAKE A LODGER AGAIN. A LODGER? THE POOR THING HASN'T TWO HA'PENNIES TO RUB TOGETHER, SO FROM JUNE TO SEPTEMBER, SHE RENTS OUT A ROOM. IF YOU SUE MISS O'HARE, YOU'LL BE BACKING THE WRONG HORSE. SHE'S TOO WELL LIKED. WHAT AM I TO DO? THERE'S NO END TO HER MALICE. SHE'S CALLED ME A THIEF. MY CAR WAS ALMOST WRECKED. WHAT NEXT? SHE'S A HARMLESS SOUL, A RELIC OF OLD DECENCY. BETWEEN OURSELVES AND THESE FOUR WALLS, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER? OWN UP. NOTHING. WELL, NOT REALLY. ANYWAY, SHE STARTED IT. IT'S ARE YOU CODDING ME? I SEE NO HUMOUR-- BECAUSE YES. FOR SOME REASON, SHE LOATHES AND DETESTS ANYONE WHO-- AND WHO DO YOU THINK HER LODGERS ARE? TOURISTS ON HOLIDAY FROM LONDON AND LIVERPOOL AND BIRMINGHAM. THEY COME BACK YEAR AFTER YEAR BECAUSE NO LANDLADY HAS EVER MADE THEM FEEL SO MUCH AT HOME AS MISS O'HARE DOES. SHE HATES YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THA FOR A YARN. MA'AM! MA'AM! IT'S ON THE WALL. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? OH, MA'AM, WHAT'S WRIT ON IT. WRIT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WRIT? YOU MEAN WRITTEN? WRITTEN WHERE? ONE THING I WON'T BE IS A HINDRANCE. SEEING AS THE REGATTA'S UPON US, I'LL DO MY BIT, SAME AS ALWAYS. THE LADIES' COMMITTEE WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M GONE. AH, WILL WE NOT? YOU THINK SO? AND YOU, YOU'D THROW AWAY 30 YEARS. CHANGE YOUR MIND. YES, YOU WILL. IF THAT WOMAN'S ON THE COMMITTEE-- BUT SHE LIVES HERE. SHE'S ENTITLED TO BE ON IT, AS YOU ARE. KATHERINE, IT'S NOT TOO LATE. WHAT BEGAN AS A QUARREL IS TURNING INTO A SCANDAL. UH, THERE'S TALK OF GRAFFITI. I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT. AND HER MOTORCAR WON'T BE MENDED FOR A MONTH. SHE'S CLEVER. I'LL GIVE HER THAT. IT'S ALL MY DOING. POOR MISS O'HARE THAT'S GONE ASTRAY IN THE HEAD. IT'S ALL LAID AT MY DOOR. AND SHE'S YOU FOOLED AS WELL. ME? HOW? THE CAR AND THE PAIN AND WHAT HAPPENED AT THE DANCE. SHE'S THE ONE BEHIND IT ALL. IT'S PART OF WHA SHE'S BEEN UP TO. AND WHAT'S THA WHEN IT'S AT HOME? I THINK IT'S TO DO AWAY WITH ME. TO-- BECAUSE SHE KNOWS I CAN SEE THROUGH HER. I GAVE MYSELF AWAY THE FIRST TIME I CLAPPED EYES ON HER. SHE CREDITS ME WITH BEING SMARTER THAN I AM, BUT I KNOW A GOLD RING FROM THE BRASS ONE YOU'D FIND ON HALLOWEEN. A GOLD RING. I'M TALKING ABOUT HER, ABOUT HER NOT BEING WHAT SHE PRETENDS TO BE, AND THAT'S MAYBE WHY ONE OF THESE DARK NIGHTS POOR MISS O'HARE WILL WALK INTO THE LAKE. UH, INTO THE-- DON'T YOU SEE IT? ARE YOU BLIND? SHE'S UP TO MURDER. MISS O'HARE. DID YOU TALK HER OUT OF IT? QUITE THE OPPOSITE, MR. CLANCY. I THINK SHE'S TIRED OF, UH, SLAVING FOR THE COMMITTEE. SHE OUGHT TO RES FOR A MONTH OR SO. AYE, WITH ALL MY DOORS AND WINDOWS LOCKED. WATCH HER. WHAT? I SAID WATCH HER. SHE TRUSTS YOU IN HER INNOCENCE. I DON'T, NOT SO FAR AS I COULD THROW YOU OR THE WHOLE BREED OF YOUSE. I'M TELLING YOU, MIND HER. WHAT IS I THAT AILS HER? I DON'T KNOW. SHE HAS QUEER IDEAS. HAS IT TO DO WITH THE PAST? WHAT? I MEAN BEFORE I CAME TO KILSHANNON. I KNOW THERE WAS SOMETHING BECAUSE, WELL, I'M FOND OF HER. I ASK HER HOW IT WAS THE TIME SHE WAS GROWING UP. SHE WON'T ANSWER ME. SHE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW OR THE LAKE, BUT NOT AT ME. SO WHAT IS IT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, MR. CLANCY. THERE'S NOTHING IN THE PAST. NOTHING. [BRASS BAND PLAYS] HEY, NOW! EASY NOW, SON! NOT TOO QUICK! HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT! EASY, EASY! GO ON, GO ON, GO ON, GO ON, GO ON. [HORNS BLOW] READY. GO ON, GO ON, GO ON. THERE YOU GO. OH, CON! I'LL FALL IN! NOT A BIT OF YOU! HOLD ON! [APPLAUSE] HEY! COME BACK! WHAT ABOUT ME? ADMIRAL. GOOD TO SEE YOU. GRAND. YOU'RE HERE. WELL, COME ON. WE'LL GET ABOARD, HUH? WELL, WHAT'S THE RUSH? THE RALLY'S IN INISHKEEN, AND THE HARBOUR'S A LITTLE ON THE TINY SIDE. THE BOATS ARRIVING LAS HAVE TO MOOR OUT ON THE LAKE. THAT'S BAD? IT'S ALL RIGH ROWING ASHORE, BUT ROWING BACK ISN'T. BECAUSE OF THE CURRENTS? NO. BECAUSE OF THE PUBS. MRS. BROOME. HELLO. RIGHT, EVERYBODY. LET'S GET ABOARD. COME ALONG, MAMMY. LEND A HAND, MISS GRUBB. WHAT FUN! RIGHT, MAMMY. COME ON. UP YOU GET. UP, UP. THAT'S IT. I THINK I'D BETTER GO IN THE CAR. NO, YOU WON'T. COME. GET IN THE BOAT. OH, GODFREY! THAT'S IT. STOP IT, NOW. UP YOU GET. HANDS AND SHOULDERS UP! I WOULDN'T GO NEAR A BOAT, ONLY THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I NEEDED EXERCISE. RIGHT. THAT'S IT, MAMMY. COME ON, DOWN BELOW. WHAT NEXT? I NEVER DREAMED. I HAD NO IDEA. WHAT? THAT IRELAND WAS LIKE THIS. I'M SO GLAD I CAME HERE. IT'S PERFECT. ALMOST PERFECT. WELL, THE "ALMOST" CAN BE RECTIFIED. SAY YOU'LL MARRY ME. ON THIS LAKE AND UNDER THIS SKY? THE GODS WOULD STRIKE US DEAD FOR OUR IMPERTINENCE. NO. I'LL SAY IT ON DRY LAND. YOU WILL? GODFREY! THE BOA WILL STEER ITSELF. LOOK. NOT A FEATHER OUT OF IT. YOU'LL SAY YES THEN? TODAY I'D SAY YES IF MISS O'HARE INVITED ME TO DRINK A GLASS OF HER OWN BLACKCURRANT WINE. NOT BAD. YOU'LL DO. YES... YOU'LL DEFINITELY DO. IS THAT HER UP AHEAD-- THE OLD WITCH... MISS O'HARE? YES. OH! JUST HOLD THE WHEEL LIGHTLY. THAT'S IT. GENTLE. BE GENTLE. JUST A TOUCH. PRETEND SHE'S A WOMAN. YOU SAY THE LOVELIEST THINGS. [LAUGHS] GODFREY, WILL MISS O'HARE GET TO... WHEREVER IT IS WE'RE GOING AHEAD OF US? INISHKEEN. WE'RE FASTER, BU THEY'VE GOT A HEAD START. IF WE OPENED HER UP, WE COULD MAKE IT. WE COULD BE FIRST ROUND HAMILTON POINT, AND THEN AGAIN, WE MIGHT NOT. THEN OPEN HER UP, MY FUTURE HUSBAND. [CHUCKLES] [MOTOR SPEEDS UP] WHOO! OH! SHE GAINING ON US. I THINK IT'S A RACE. GODFREY, STUPID CHILD, PUT THE BRAKES ON! WON'T IT GO ANY FASTER? TOO MANY SMALL BOATS AROUND. IT'S CONSIDERED BAD FORM. WE CAN'T OVERTAKE THEM. THE POINT'S TOO CLOSE. YOU'RE HEADING FOR THE SHALLOW! GO BACK TO THE CHANNEL! WE'VE DONE IT! WE'LL BE IN FIRST! YES! GOOD GIRL YOURSELF! BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR! HA HA! [ALL SHOUTING] JESUS, THEY'RE ON TOP OF US. WE'RE NEVER GOING TO OVERTAKE THEM. THERE'S NO ROOM! THEN THEY CAN FUCKING WELL MOVE OVER. DO YOU WAN TO SEE THEM ON A SHOAL? DO I? HEAVENS TO BETSY, WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA. EDWINA! THROTTLE BACK! LET GO OF ME. OH! GET OVER! AAH! GET...BACK! AAH! [SHOUTING] [MISS O'HARE] OH! DID YOU SEE WHAT HE DID? TIGHTEN THOSE SHEETS! HOLD 'ER STEADY. KATHERINE... ARE YOU HURT? OHHH... I'M FINE. ARE WE SINKING? I CAN'T SWIM. IT WON'T BE NECESSARY. ONE OF THE FEW ADVANTAGES OF GOING AGROUND IS THAT YOU CAN WALK ASHORE. DO YOU NEED A HAND? HOLD ON! THERE'S BOATS COMING! CAN I THROW YOU A LINE? NO! DON'T LET HIM. DON'T LET THEM COME NEAR US. DON'T WORRY, I WON'T. YOU WANT TO TOW US INTO DEEP WATER TO SINK US PROPERLY? LET ME HELP YOU ABOARD! NO! IT'S ALL RIGHT. WE WON'T WAN FOR RESCUING. [TOOT TOOT] YOU'LL BE BACK ON THE LAKE INSIDE A MONTH. JUST NEEDS A DENTURE AND SOME BRIDGEWORK. I'M SURE. WHAT'S A COUPLE OF CRACKED BICUSPIDS? YOU'LL BE SAILING THIS BOAT TILL YOU'RE 100. ANOTHER 80 YEARS, WHAT? MISS O'HARE. CAN I JUST SAY, MY FAMILY WILL GLADLY PAY FOR THE REPAIRS. THERE, NOW. IT WAS MY FAUL ENTIRELY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET EDWINA-- MRS. BROOM-- TAKE THE WHEEL. I DON'T SUPPOSE THERE'S ANY POIN IN ASKING IF SHE COULD POSSIBLY SAY HOW SORRY SHE IS? IT WOULD JUST MAKE THE DAY PERFECT FOR US BECAUSE WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE'RE GOING TO BE ENGAGED. OH, WELL. THAT'S GREAT NEWS. ENGAGED, WHAT? GOD SEND YOUSE GOOD LUCK. WHAT DO YOU SAY, KATHERINE? SHE COMPLETELY LOST HER HEAD. DIDN'T KNOW THE RULES OF THE RIVER. DON'T PASS ON THE RIGHT... PASS ON THE RIGHT... IT WAS JUST HIGH SPIRITS AND LACK OF RIVER SENSE. WE WOULDN' LIKE ANYTHING TO SPOIL OUR-- SHE TRIED TO KILL US. WHAT? MURDER WAS WHAT I SAID. AND I WAS RIGHT. AH, WOMAN, YOU'RE RAVING. I WORKED IT OUT. WHAT SHE'D A MIND TO DO WAS TO RAM US IN THE MIDSTREAM WHERE THE WATER'S 40 FEET DEEP. ARE THE PAIR OF YOU BLIND? CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THAT MURDEROUS BRAIN OF HERS? AND SHE'LL TRY IT AGAIN. AND AS LONG AS SHE'S NOT FOUND OUT, SHE'LL GO ON TRYING. ALL RIGHT, CON? IS THIS SEAT TAKEN? NO, NO. QUITE ALL RIGHT. [HORN HONKS] [WOMAN LAUGHS] WHOO! HA HA HA HA! ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC! I SAY! I THOUGH YOU SAID IT WAS DEAD AROUND HERE. IT MUST BE ONE OF THEM MIRAGES. YOU DON'T HEAR A MIRAGE. YOU SEE IT, YOU HICK. [DOLORES] I LOVE MEN WHEN THEY'RE WITTY! EXCUSE ME. MIGHT ONE INQUIRE WHA THE OCCASION IS? IF IT'S PUBLIC. IT'S THE REGATTA DANCE... FOR THE REGATTA AND THE RALLY. EXCELLENT. AND... FORGIVE ME, BUT ARE THERE NONTEETOTAL BEVERAGES AVAILABLE? NOT FOR THE LIKES OF THEM THAT'S HAD ENOUGH. I DON'T KNOW YOU. GO 'WAY FROM ME. WE DON'T KNOW HIM NEITHER. WE GAVE HIM A LIFT FROM OUTSIDE NENAGH. MA'AM, FIRS LIEUTENANT ROKESBY OF HIS MAJESTY'S SHIP HEROIC. LADS, WILL WE GO TO THE OL' DANCE? I SAY WE WILL. AT YOUR SERVICE, MA'AM. TRUTHFULLY, I'VE HAD A SOMEWHA CHEQUERED 24 HOURS. FELL INTO BAD COMPANY IN DUBLIN LAST NIGH AND MISSED MY SHIP. COURTESY VISIT, YOU KNOW, NOT BOMBARDMENT. THOUGHT I'D CATCH UP WITH IT IN CORK AND TOOK THE ROAD TO LIMERICK BY MISTAKE. GOING TO BE THE DEVIL TO PAY. THAT SERVES YOU RIGHT. AND THE DEVIL'S CURE TO YOU. THANKS VERY MUCH. [GIGGLING] HEY, ADMIRAL.. SOMEONE CALLING? HEY, LIMEY, COMING IN? WHY NOT? LORD KNOWS WHERE I'M GOING TO SLEEP TONIGHT. OH, I SAY. YOU GOING, TOO? GOOD. I HAVE A PARTNER. GO AWAY FROM ME. GO ON. SHOO. SHOO. [LOUD MUSIC PLAYING] THANK YOU. KEEP THE CHANGE. YOU CAME IN. GRAND. HOW DO YOU FEEL? ARE YOU ALL WELL? YES. I THINK I'D LIKE TO GO HOME, ACTUALLY. EXCUSE ME, GRACIOUS LADY. MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF THIS DANCE? NO, YOU MAY NOT. GO 'WAY. ONE SMALL CIRCLE OF THE FLOOR WILL SUFFICE... OR TO AS FAR AS WHERE THEY'RE SERVING REFRESHMENTS. AM I IN MY OWN COUNTRY, OR AMN'T I? THEY'RE EVERYWHERE I GO, TORMENTING ME! YOU'RE ANNOYING THE LADY. THAT'LL DO YOU NOW. YOU'RE SAYING I OFFEND HER? NOT AT ALL. IT'S JUST SHE'S NO IN FORM FOR DANCING. DRINKS ARE DOWN THERE. GOOD LAD. SO MUCH FOR THE FRIENDLY IRISH. OHHH... [CHUCKLES] TO YOU. UHH! GOOD GOD, IT IS! IT'S YOU! WELL, I'M DAMNED. EXCUSE ME? YOU...HERE, OF ALL PLACES. GOD, THEY DO SAY IT'S A SMALL WORLD. SORRY. I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE. YES, YOU HAVE. DON'T TALK GAMMON. WHERE WAS IT? I'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR NAME. WAIT. TELL ME WHO I AM. YOU'RE MISTAKEN. I REALLY DON' KNOW YOU. YOU'RE BEING A NUISANCE. SHE DOESN' KNOW YOU. COME, EDWINA. EDWINA? THAT'S NOT IT. YES. NOW I REMEMBER. IT WAS AT ANTIBES. WE'D PUT IN AT MONACO FOR REPAIRS, AND YOU... OH, MY GOD! YES! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! YOU, HERE, OF ALL PLACES! HOW DAMN PRICELESS! I DON'T--GODFREY, I NEED SOME FRESH AIR. THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMEN ABOUT US. LET THEM. WE HAVE TO BE HERE. EVERYONE'S GOING TO APPLAUD-- FOR CHRIST'S SAKES, GODFREY! DON'T BE SO CHILDISH! CON! WHY DON'T YOU TREAT MR., UH... ROKESBY, MA'AM. ROKESBY, ROKESBY... TO A DRINK? THANKS VERY MUCH. SURE. [SINGING DRUNKENLY] WE'LL TAKE BARNEY MURPHY'S HORSE AND TRAP. A FEW MORE STEPS, THEN A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP, AND YOU'LL BE AS RIGHT AS THE RAIN. I HAVE NO DRINK IN THE HOUSE...FOR HIM. HE WANTS MORE DRINK? I WANT MORE DRINK. WHA--WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY ARE WE HERE? BE QUIET. UP YOU GET. CAN YOU MANAGE IT? OH! SPLENDID IRISH HOSPITALITY. INFINITELY OBLIGED! [MISS O'HARE] DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL SING FOR YOUR SUPPER. [SINGING DRUNKENLY] THERE YOU ARE. ALL RIGHT. YOU GO THE DOOR OPEN? NO. HOME ALREADY? OH, YES. ALL ASHORE THAT'S GOING ASHORE! RIGHT IN THE HARBOUR. STEADY, NOW. HOME, SWEET HOME. OH, G--TIME FOR BEDDY-BYES. OH, NO, MR. ROKESBY. THE NIGH IS STILL YOUNG. YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE DRINK. JUST FIRST TELL ME-- JUST YOU AND I. I DON'T LIKE DRIVING OFF AND LEAVING YOU ON YOUR OWN WITH HIM FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT. AREN'T YOU A GUARD? YOU'RE JEALOUS. YOU'RE AS GOOD AS A TONIC. NO, I'LL BE SAFE WITH MR. ROKESBY. ARE MURDERING YOU, THEY'RE ALWAYS PURE GENTLEMEN. WELL, IF YOU'RE SURE... GOOD NIGHT, CON. GOOD NIGHT, KATHERINE. GOOD NIGHT, MADDIE. GOOD NIGHT, MISS-- OH! TSK! NOW, THEN... I'LL BE YOUR SWEETHEART IF YOU WILL BE MINE GOOD EVENING, MADDIE. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. ARE THESE WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR? I SUPPOSE YOU REMEMBERED YOU'D FORGOTTEN TO RE-SEAL MY LETTERS AFTER YOU'D STEAMED THEM OPEN. WHAT? MAY GOD FORGIVE YOU. I NEVER. MAY I DROP DOWN DEAD. IT'S THE WEATHER. I BEG YOUR PARDON? RAIN ONE MINUTE, SUN THE NEXT. SURE NOTHING STICKS. I KNEW THERE WAS AN EXPLANATION. GLUE IS USELESS. WHAT A CLIMATE. TRUE FOR YOU. IT'S FIERCE. MADDIE... [CHUCKLES] I WANT TO KNOW... ABOUT THAT WOMAN O'HARE. ABOUT MISS O'HARE? THERE'S NOTHING. SHE HAS NO MONEY. WHAT DOES SHE LIVE ON? WHY DOESN' SHE LIVE IN TOWN INSTEAD OF HERE ON THE PEAK? SHE'S NOBODY. WHY DO MRS. DOYLE- COUNIHAN AND THE OTHERS PUT UP WITH HER? HUH? WHAT MAKES HER ONE OF THEM? IS IT BLACKMAIL? WHAT DOES SHE KNOW? NOTHING. IT'S THE LADIES WHO-- WHO KNOW? WHO KNOW WHAT? IT WAS... WELL? IT WAS AGREED LONG AGO. IT WAS A BARGAIN THEY MADE WITH MISS O'HARE... THAT IT WOULD NEVER BE TALKED ABOUT. NO, NOR MENTIONED. NOT EVER. I SEE. [LOCKS DOOR] WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW. [CHURCH BELL CHIMES] GOOD MORN TO YOU, MISS O'HARE. ISN'T THAT A GRAND CLASS OF A DAY? GRAND, THANK GOD. I HAVEN'T CLAPPED EYES ON YOU SINCE THE REGATTA. WERE YOU NOT WELL? OH, NO, I... I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE DANGEROUS TO GO OUT. THEY SAY EVERYONE'S GOT A SUMMER COLD, THE KIND YOU CAN' GET RID OF. WILL YOU WALK WITH US, OR WILL YOU TAKE THE BIKE? AH...I THINK I'LL GO ON SHANK'S MARE. THE BANNS ARE CALLED BETWEEN GODFREY DOYLE AND EDWINA BROOME, BOTH OF THIS PARISH. IF ANYONE CAN SHOW JUST CAUSE WHY THIS MARRIAGE SHOULD NOT TAKE PLACE, HE OR SHE SHOULD DO SO TO HIS LORDSHIP THE BISHOP OR TO ANY ONE OF THE PRIESTS OF THE PARISH. THIS IS THE THIRD AND LAST TIME OF CALLING. MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN. CANON. WELL, THE CHURCH CLERK HASN'T COME HARING AROUND SAYING THA SOMEBODY'S READY TO SWEAR TO I THA THE GROOM-TO-BE IS IN THE FREEMASONS. I THINK WE CAN SAFELY USE RACING PARLANCE AND SAY THE TAPES ARE UP. AND AS FOR YOU, YOUNG MAN... I'VE NEVER KNOWN ANYONE BORN SO FORTUNATE. WHEN I LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN-- MRS. BROOME! MISS O'HARE. I WOULDN'T KNOW A BIT OF YOU. SUCH A STRANGER YOU ARE THESE TWO WEEKS. OUGHT I TO OFFER MY CONGRATULATIONS? I'D BE PLEASED IF YOU DID. IN THAT CASE, I DO. AH, GOD LOVE YOU. AND I CONGRATULATE MYSELF AS WELL. I WALKED TO MASS. DID YOU KNOW THAT? I DIDN'T TAKE MY BICYCLE BECAUSE THE BRAKES WEREN'T WORKING. REALLY? SUCH A STEEP HILL. WASN'T I BLESSED? BUT WHAT I REALLY CONGRATULATE MYSELF ON IS THA ONCE YOU'RE MARRIED, YOU'LL BE SAFE, AND NO ONE CAN TOUCH YOU-- NOT ME, NOT ANYONE. AND THAT MEANS I'LL BE SAFE AS WELL. SO THAT'S THE HEIGH OF GOOD FORTUNE FOR THE PAIR OF US, WOULDN'T YOU SAY? CANON. SAFE? W-W-WHAT'S SHE TALKING ABOUT? WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY THAT? I HAVE NO IDEA. AH, THE CREATURE. OLD MAIDS ARE THE SAME THE WORLD OVER. THE POOR MIND ALWAYS GIVES WAY. WILL YOU COME UP, CANON, FOR A BITE OF DINNER WITH US? WHAT IS IT, CON? I HOPE YOU WEN TO EARLY MASS, BECAUSE YOU'RE LATE FOR THIS ONE. WHAT'S HAPPENED? SOMEONE PUT THIS THROUGH MY LETTERBOX. WHOEVER WROTE I DOESN'T PUT HIS NAME TO IT, BUT I'D LIKE TO KNOW IF IT'S TRUE. READ IT. IT'S SHORT, BUT NO WHAT I'D CALL SWEET. WELL? OHHH... CON, TH--THIS SOR OF THING-- IS IT TRUE? A... A LONG TIME AGO... A GIRL... A DIFFERENT PERSON. SHE-- CON, YOU CAN' WALK AWAY. YOU CAN'T WALK AWAY. OHHH... [SOBBING] LUNCH, MAMMY. DINNER, GODFREY. THERE'S ME OWN SISTER, SISTER TERESA GONZAGA FROM THE CARMELITES... THEY LET HER OU ON CONDITION SHE DOESN'T TALK. AND THERE'S ME COUSIN MOSSY COONEY WHO'S IN THE GOVERNMENT... AND GODFREY'S UNCLE ON HIS FATHER'S SIDE, A GUNMAN IN THE TROUBLES, AMBASSADOR TO THE VATICAN NOW, AND THE COMMODORE OF THE YACHT CLUB THAT'S HAD THE STROKE, UH, BUT IS COMING IN SPITE OF IT. OH, SUCH A DINNER! IT'LL BE THE TALK OF THE COUNTY. EXCUSE ME... MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN, FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR LUNCH. DINNER. UH, IT'S A PRIVATE OCCASION, PET. I KNOW THAT, SO I WON'T TAKE UP YOUR TIME. THIS MORNING, CON CLANCY GOT A LETTER. IT SAID AS HOW I'D HAD A BABY 30 YEARS AGO. UH, MISS O'HARE... THE BABY'S FATHER WAS A SOLDIER... OUT OF THE GARRISON IN LIMERICK. IT WAS THE OLDEST STORY IN THE WORLD. I WAS THAT INNOCENT. I BELIEVED HIM WHEN HE SAID HE WAS OFF TO FIGH SOME FOREIGN WAR... WHEN IT WAS OVER, HE'D SEND FOR ME. IT WAS 1904, MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN. YOUR OWN GODFREY WASN' EVEN INTO LONG TROUSERS. I REMEMBER THE SALT TEARS YOU CRIED, BEGGING ME NOT TO KEEP THE BABY LIKE I WANTED TO, BUT TO GIVE I TO STRANGERS. YOU PROMISED THA NO ONE IN THE TOWN WOULD EVER MENTION IT... OR THINK BAD OF ME... THAT IT WOULD BE LOOKED AFTER. WHAT I WANTED WAS TO HAVE THE CHILD AND REAR IT AND BE A MOTHER TO IT. BUT YOURSELF AND THE LADIES, THEM THAT I STILL SEE EVERY DAY AROUND ME... YOU SAID THA FOR ME TO KEEP I WOULD BE AN INSUL TO GOOD-LIVING WOMEN... TO THEM THAT WERE WELL IN WITH GOD. SO IN THE HEEL OF THE HUNT, I WENT TO DUBLIN AND HAD HER ADOPTED. AND YOUSE KEPT YOUR WORD, I'LL NOT DENY IT. THERE WAS THE LITTLE COTTAGE, ALL FOR MYSELF... NO RENT TO PAY... AND I WAS NEVER LOOKED DOWN ON, BECAUSE I'D DONE WHAT WAS RIGHT. I SUPPOSE I REMINDED YOUSE OF HOW GOOD YOUSE WERE... AND HOW CHRISTIAN. THE BABY DIED. DID YOU KNOW THAT? ER, WHAT? WELL, NO. HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN? WHEN SHE WAS 3. I THOUGHT TO FIND OU WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE SHE'D GONE TO... AND IF THEY WERE GOOD TO HER. IT TOOK ME A LONG WHILE, BUT I MANAGED IT. I'M A GREAT FINDER OU OF THINGS. SHE--SHE'D BEEN WITH A DOCTOR AND HIS WIFE. NICE PEOPLE. ONLY THERE'D BEEN SCARLET FEVER WHERE THEY LIVED. I FELT SORRY FOR THEM. SO... OH, YOUR LOVELY LUNCH IS GOING COLD ON YOU. SO THIS MORNING, CON CLANCY GOT A LETTER. AND NOW HE'S DONE WITH ME. MAYBE IT COMES FROM HAVING TOO HIGH A REGARD FOR A PERSON IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT'S NOT THEM YOU CAN'T FORGIVE FOR BEING HUMAN. IT'S YOURSELF FOR BEING SO FOOLISH. MY SECRET IS OUT, AND MY RACE IS RUN. CON CLANCY WILL DIE IN HIS OWN BED, AND ME IN MINE. YOU WERE FOOLISH, TOO, MRS. BROOME. IF YOU HADN'T HATED ME ENOUGH TO WANT TO DESTROY ME WITH THIS, THEN I WOULDN'T BE HERE NOW AND YOU'D BE GETTING MARRIED TO HIMSELF THERE. YOU MIGHT EVEN HAVE FINISHED EATING THE FOOD ON THE PLATE IN FRONT OF YOU. ARE YOU SAYING I WROTE AN ANONYMOUS LETTER? DID I MENTION THAT IT WAS ANONYMOUS? I DON'T THINK SO. BUT 'TIS NO MATTER. 'TIS THE DAY FOR THEM, ALL THE SAME. FOR LETTERS, I MEAN. WE'LL BE AT LEAST AGREED ON THAT SCORE, MRS. BROOME. THAT NAME ISN'T YOURS, BUT THEN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. THIS LETTER IS FROM MRS. EDWINA BROOME. SHE LIVES IN SCOTLAND. HER HUSBAND WAS MAJOR NIGEL BROOME, WHO WON THE VICTORIA CROSS. THE WAR OFFICE SENT ME HER ADDRESS. FOR SOMETHING. SHE SAYS THAT YOU'RE AN IMPOSTOR. IF I WERE YOU, I'D GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM BEFORE SHE SETS THE LAW ON YOU. EDWINA, TELL HER. TELL HER WHAT? YOU TRIED TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO HARM ME, BUT AT MASS THIS MORNING, I SAID, "I'LL SAY NOTHING. LET HER MARRY HIM AND GET HER HANDS ON HIS MONEY." YOU? "AND MORE POWER TO HER." I DON'T KNOW WHY. MAYBE I LACK FOR POISON INSIDE ME. THEN CON GOT THAT LETTER. YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT ONE THING. I'M FINISHING MY LUNCH. IT'S LOVELY. YOU WEN TO SO MUCH TROUBLE LEAVING ALL THOSE PAPERS AROUND FOR MADDIE O'HARA TO SPY THROUGH. NO WONDER YOU WANTED HER AS A MAID. SHE WAS YOUR BES CHARACTER WITNESS. THE MISTAKE YOU MADE WAS TAKING THE NAME OF A REAL PERSON. IF YOU HADN'T DONE THAT, ALL I HAD WAS THE WORD OF THAT NAVY OFFICER THAT MET YOU AT THE BROTHEL IN FRANCE. HE SAID YOU COULD DO MORE TRICKS THAN A CONJUROR. THE HOLY SISTER, WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO SAY IS-- SHE'S GOING TO FAINT. THAT YOUNG OFFICER SAID THAT THANKS TO YOU THE SHIP MISSED ITS MANOEUVRES, BUT THE CREW DIDN'T MISS THEIRS. WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THAT? HE WAS BEING KIND. HE WANTED TO GO AROUND THE WORLD, SO I LET HIM. I DON'T THINK I'LL STAY FOR PUDDING. GOODBYE, MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN. IT WAS MAGICAL. NO! GODFREY. SHE'S NOT TO GO. I WON'T LET HER. YOU HAVE THE CHEEK OF YOU. NOW EAT YOUR DINNER. LUNCH! WHATEVER! SIT! I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE'S DONE OR WHO SHE IS. I'M THAT FOND OF HER. ARE YOU, GODFREY? I SAID SIT DOWN! I WON'T SAY GOODBYE TO YOU, MISS O'HARE. WE STILL HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS. [SOBBING] [WHISPERING] THAT'S THE LAS WE'LL SEE OF HER. GODFREY! MISS GRUBB! COME HERE TO ME. MAMMY, WHAT IS IT? MISS O'HARE'S BOAT. LOOK. OH, MY GOD! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? YEAH, THE POLICE! MISS GRUBB, GET THE POLICE. TELL THEM MISS O'HARE-- OH, THE SAINTS PROTECT HER THIS DAY. AHOY, THERE! IS THERE ANYBODY ONBOARD? AHOY! IS ANYBODY THERE? THANK HEAVENS. I'VE BEEN ON THE LAKE ALL NIGHT. I LOST MY SENSE OF DIRECTION. STAND BY FOR A LINE. THANKS. CAN YOU PLEASE TOW ME BACK TO KILSHANNON? MY CAR'S STILL THERE? WHERE'S MISS O'HARE? IS SHE BELOW? SHE WAS ONBOARD LAST EVENING WHEN IT LEFT ITS MOORING. YES, SHE, UH, SHE GOT OFF. GOT OFF? GOT OFF? [HONKING] EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU-- IF YOU DON'T MIND. AM I SPEAKING TO THE MAN FROM LIMERICK? A MAN FROM LIMERICK, YES. CHIEF INSPECTOR KILKELLY. MY NAME IS MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN, AND I SAW THE WOMAN WHO'S IN THERE GOING ON TO MISS O'HARE'S BOAT, AND MY SON SAW IT, AND MISS GRUBB SAW IT. IF I KNOW THE LADIES ON THE HILL, EVERY ONE OF THEM SAW IT. I SAW IT, TOO. SERGEANT, TAKE THE LADIES SOMEWHERE COMFORTABLE WHERE THEY CAN MAKE A STATEMENT. THERE'S NO ROOM IN THERE TO SWING A CRIPPEN. IF MISS O'HARE WASN'T ON THAT BOA WHEN IT WAS FOUND, THEN SHE WAS DROWNED OFF OF IT. "I HAVE BUSINESS TO FINISH WITH YOU YET," THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. NOW WE KNOW THE SOR OF BLACK BUSINESS IT WAS. DON'T GET EXCITABLE. I'M SAYING-- THIS CROWD HAS THEIR EARS COCKED FOR EVERY WORD WE SAY. LET'S NOT BE RECKLESS. WELL, LET THE POLICE WALK TIPPY-TOES ALL THEY LIKE, BUT I'M GOING TO SAY WHAT'S TRUE. I WON'T PUT A TOOTH IN IT. MY FRIEND, THE FRIEND OF ALL OF US HERE, KATHERINE O'HARE IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LAKE THIS MINUTE BECAUSE THAT WOMAN PUT HER THERE. AND GOD FORGIVE ME. MISS O'HARE SAID SHE WAS IN DANGER, AND I WOULDN'T BELIEVE HER. NONE OF US BELIEVED HER, NOT EVEN ME. I WAS A JUDAS. I TURNED MY BACK ON HER. NOW THERE'S BEEN A MURDER. THAT'S TRUE. IT'S BEEN SAID AT LAST. MURDER. DID SHE SAY MURDER? THAT WOMAN MURDERED MISS O'HARE. IT'S TRUE. IT'S TRUE. SHE MURDERED HER. MURDER? MURDER? BROKEN-DOWN PIER, YOU SAY. THAT'LL BE HERE-- KILGARVEN QUAY. 3 MILES TO THE NEAREST VILLAGE. ARE YOU SAYING MISS O'HARE LEFT HER VESSEL AND WALKED TO A PLACE WHERE YOU WOULDN'T MEE AN ASS AND CAR IN AN HOUR'S WALK? YES. WHY NOT? WHY SHOULD SHE? WELL, IT WAS-- I TOLD YOU, WE--WE QUARRELLED, AND SHE SAID IF I DIDN' GET OFF THE BOAT, SHE WOULD. YET YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REMAINED ONBOARD. I TOLD YOU IT WAS STARTING TO RAIN. WHY SHOULD I WALK OU INTO A DOWNPOUR? WHY SHOULD MISS O'HARE WALK INTO A DOWNPOUR? BECAUSE SHE WAS STUPID. THAT'S WHY. WAS STUPID, MRS. BROOME? I--I WAS TALKING ABOU YESTERDAY. BUT YOU DO ADMI THAT WHEN YOU WEN ABOARD THE VESSEL, YOU UNTIED THE MOORING ROPES. I WANTED TO TALK TO HER. ON A BOAT, A PERSON CAN'T VERY WELL WALK AWAY. [WHISTLE BLOWS] I THINK THEY FOUND HER. THIS BAG AND ITS CONTENTS WERE FOUND IN THE WATER OFF KILGARVEN QUAY. IT BELONGS-- IT BELONGED TO MISS O'HARE. THESE ARE HER HOUSE KEYS. ANY IDEA HOW IT CAME TO BE IN THE WATER? SHE DROPPED I IN THE WATER AS SHE GOT OFF. YOU DIDN'T MENTION THIS PREVIOUSLY. WELL...I FORGOT. SHE JUS DROPPED HER PURSE IN THE WATER AND MADE NO ATTEMP TO RETRIEVE IT? SHE WAS IN A HURRY. SHE DID SAY, "OH, SHIT." MRS. BROOME... YOU ARE TO BE DETAINED ON A HOLDING CHARGE OF REMOVING PROPERTY, TO WIT, A MOTOR CRUISER, WITHOUT THE OWNER'S PERMISSION. YOU WILL BE REMOVED FORTHWITH TO LIMERICK GARDA STATION, WHERE A MORE SERIOUS CHARGE MAY BE PREFERRED AGAINST YOU. THE--THE DOOR'S OPENING. EDWINA! EDWINA! THERE'S THE MURDERESS! MURDERESS! EDWINA! MURDERESS! EDWINA! MURDERESS! I WAS NO AT ALL SURPRISED THAT THE WOMAN WAS-- I WON'T SAY IT. BUT SHE TRIED TO GET HER CLAWS ON MY SON. AND WHEN POOR MISS O'HARE-- THE LORD HAVE MERCY ON HER-- GOT SUSPICIOUS, WELL, THAT WAS HER DEATH WARRANT. A WOMAN, WHOM WE TOOK INTO OUR COMMUNITY, OUR HOMES, AND OUR HEARTS. AND WHAT WAS IN HER HEART, A HEART AS BLACK BUT MURDER? BUT I SAY TO YE, IN THE NAME OF OUR ALL-LOVING SAVIOUR, THAT MURDER WILL OUT. RIGHT. TAKE HER BACK, JIM. NOT MUCH LUCK. LET'S MOVE OUR SWEEP THIS SIDE ALONG THE WEST. [HONK HONK] RIGHT THERE! ...OF THE MURDERED WOMAN, MISS O'HARE. DEAR GOD! WE WILL NOW PROCEED OVER THE POIN WHERE SHE WAS LAST SEEN. [HUMMING] I APPRECIATE THA SINCE THE TROUBLES A GOOD MURDER IS HARD TO FIND. WHEN ONE DOES COME ALONG, PEOPLE WANT TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT, BUT THIS GOING TOO FAR. AND WHO THE HELL THINKS HE KNOWS HOW TO PRINT A HANDBILL? AND THIS WOMAN, THE LOWEST OF THE LOW, IS CHARGED WITH WHAT? WITH TAKING WHAT BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE, AND THEY CALL THA A CRIME? AH, IT ISN' EVEN A VENIAL SIN. WE HAVE HERE TODAY NONE OTHER THAN MR. COMISKEY, THE MINISTER OF AGRICULTURE, REPRESENTING THE MINISTER OF JUSTICE, AND STILL THE POLICE TAKE NO ACTION. [MURMURING] THEY WANT, IF YOU PLEASE, TO FIND A DEAD BODY. YEAH, A BODY. WELL, ALL I CAN SAY IS THEY'RE VERY PARTICULAR. GOOD WOMAN YOURSELF! WELL, THE PEOPLE OF KILSHANNON DEMAND JUSTICE. NOW YOU'RE TALKING! WE HAVE HAD 700 YEARS AND NOW LE THIS MEETING DEMAND THE ROPE BE ON THE OTHER NECK FOR A CHANGE. THANK YOU, MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN. NOW LET US SAY A DECADE OF THE ROSARY FOR THE REPOSE OF THE SOUL OF A WOMAN WHO WAS A SAIN WHEN SHE WAS WITH US AND, ALAS, IS NOW A SAINT IN EARNEST. I TAKE I THERE ARE NO OBJECTIONS GIVEN THE NONSACRED NATURE OF OUR SURROUNDINGS. NONE AT ALL, CANON. FIRE AWAY. MRS. COLGAN? ONE OF THE SORROWFUL MYSTERIES. MRS. PURDIEU? BY ALL MEANS. MRS. LAWLESS? OF COURSE. MISS O'HARE. MISS O'HARE! OH, DON'T MIND ME. GET SOME WATER. NO. THE POWER'S GOLD LABEL. SUCH AN AGGRAVATING YOUNG WOMAN I NEVER MET. SHE CAME ON TO MY BOA AND SHANGHAIED ME. NOW THERE'S THE TOWN SHE KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT. SHE CARRIED ON ABOU ME MAKING A SHOW OF HER IN FRONT OF THE DOYLE-COUNIHANS AND ALL BELONGING TO THEM. FOR A STRAP SHE'D TALK THE HIND LEG OFF A DONKEY. BY THE TIME WE GO TO KILGARVEN QUAY, I WAS SO MOIDERED-- THAT YOU WENT ASHORE. I DID. I WALKED 2 MILES IN THE POURS OF RAIN. A CART FROM THE CREAMERY AT PORTUMNA GAVE ME A LIF TO MY COUSIN'S HOUSE AT TERRYGLASS, AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY'S OUTING I EVER HAD. I'M GOING TO LIVE WITH HER. AND WHY WOULDN'T I? SHE'S A WIDOW AND BY HERSELF, LIKE ME. I ONLY CAME BACK TO SELL THE BOA AND PACK UP ME BITS AND PIECES. LOOK AT THE COMMOTION I'VE WALKED INTO. HA! THEY'RE GONE, AND SORRA A BODY WILL SHED A TEAR. MISS O'HARE. I DON'T KNOW. I GAVE THAT WOMAN SO MUCH OF ME HEART'S BLOOD OVER THE YEARS. I'M GLAD TO SEE THE BACK OF HER. AND AS FOR THE OTHER RIP. DID SHE TURN YOU AGAINST WOMEN, SON? ONLY AGAINST HER, MAMMY. YOU KNOW, SHE ACTUALLY ASKED ME TO GO BACK TO WORK. GO ALONG WITH YOU. PARDON ME. WILL YOU SEE GAFFNEY THE LAWYER? I'M SURE SHE WILL. AND IT'S MR. GAFFNEY, BY THE WAY. DO TELL ME. AND TO WHAT, MR. GAFFNEY, DO I OWE THE... PLEASURE, MA'AM? NO PLEASURE AT ALL... ALAS, BUSINESS RATHER. THE BUSINESS OF MRS. GAFFNEY'S NEW FUR COAT. THE MAN HAS DRINK TOOK. YES. AND WILL AGAIN SHORTLY. HOWEVER, I WAS ALLUDING, MA'AM, TO THE PROSPEROUS TIME AHEAD. TO GET TO THE POINT, I'M INSTRUCTED BY MY CLIENT, KNOWN TO YOU AS MRS. EDWINA BROOME, TO TAKE ACTION AGAINST YOURSELF, THE REVEREND CANON MURTAGH, AND THE LADIES OF YOUR COMMITTEE SINGLY AND EN MASSE ON THE GROUNDS OF SLANDER AND CRIMINAL LIBEL. YOU WHAT? NOW, NOW. FORGIVE ME. DID YOU AND THE LADIES OF WIDOWS' PEAK NOT CALL MY CLIEN A MURDERESS? DID YOU NO GIVE INTERVIEWS TO THE PAPERS? DID YOU NOT PERSONALLY PRINT HANDBILLS ACCUSING HER OF A CRIME THAT CARRIES WITH I A SENTENCE OF DEATH? THOSE HANDBILLS WERE MADDIE O'HARA. ALL I DID WAS-- PUT HER UP TO IT. YES, I HAVE THAT. DEAR ME, IT SEEMS AS IF ALL OF YOU CONSPIRED TO PUT A ROPE AROUND MY CLIENT'S NECK. HAVING CALLED THE TUNE, YOU MUST PAY THE PIPER. WE'LL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT. THE BRAZEN NERVE OF HER. A WOMAN THAT'S A MOCKERY TO HER S-E-X. NO BETTER THAN A COMMON-- I WOULDN'T REPEAT THA IF I WERE YOU SEEING AS WE ONLY HAVE MISS O'HARE'S WORD FOR IT. IT'S CALLED HEARSAY, AND, IN ANY CASE, THE JUDGE WILL RULE AS INADMISSIBLE ANY ATTACK ON MY CLIENT'S CHARACTER. THE JUDGE? OH, MY GOD. IT'S A GOOD JOB YOU'RE COMFORTABLY OFF, MRS. DOYLE-COUNIHAN. AT LEAST, UNLIKE THE OTHER LADIES, YOU WILL HAVE A PENNY OR TWO LEFT. OH--OH, THE RIP. OH, THE RIP! HOW DARE SHE? NOW, NOW, NOW, WOMAN. NONE OF YOUR ULLAGONING. YOU OUGHT TO GO DOWN ON YOUR BENDERS AND GIVE THANKS. HAVEN'T YOU A TREASURE THAT NEITHER THE PLAINTIFF NOR ANY WOMAN CAN TAKE FROM YOU? A TREASURE? TO BE SURE YOU HAVE-- THE LOVE OF A GOOD SON. HASN'T SHE, MASTER GODFREY? AYE, A BOY'S AFFECTION FOR HIS MOTHER. ALL ELSE WILL FADE, BUT NEVER THAT. GODFREY! GODFREY! GODFREY! BYE-BYE, MAMMY! I'M FREE! I'M FREE! HELP! HELP! HELP! THE BLUE OF HER EYES AND THE GOLD OF HER HAIR ARE A BLEND OF THE WESTERN SKY... MRS. CLANCY. YES, MR. CLANCY. TIME FOR DINNER, MRS. CLANCY. SHE'S THE SWEETHEAR OF SIGMA CHI READY FOR DINNER, DEAR? AH, LAMB, WHAT IS IT? I TOLD HER. I WARNED HER. GIN WILL DO I EVERY TIME. OH, BE QUIET. WHAT'S WRONG? I JUST REMEMBERED WHEN YOU TOLD EVERYONE THAT THE BABY DIED OF SCARLET FEVER. I ACTUALLY BELIEVED IT, AND I STILL DO. OH, NO... THAT'S BECAUSE I'M IRISH, LOVEY. WE CAN NEVER RESIS A NICE SAD STORY. AND DON'T REMIND ME ABOUT KILSHANNON. IT'S ON MY CONSCIENCE. WHY ON EARTH SHOULD IT BE? THERE ARE TIMES, NOT ALL THE TIME, SOMETIMES, WHEN I FEEL WE WERE A BIT HARD ON THEM. WELL...THEY WERE A BIT HARD ON US, WEREN'T THEY, MOTHER... 30 YEARS AGO? EVERY SONG OF THE DALE IN DEAR DAYS GONE BY WAS MADE BRIGH BY THE LIGHT OF THE SMILE IN YOUR EYE LIKE A CANDLE THAT'S SE IN A WINDOW AT NIGHT YOUR FOND LOVE HAS CHEERED ME AND GUIDED ME RIGHT SURE, I LOVE THE DEAR SILVER THAT SHINES IN YOUR HAIR AND THE BROW THAT'S ALL FURROWED AND WRINKLED WITH CARE I KISS THE DEAR FINGERS SO TOIL-WORN FOR ME OH GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU MOTHER MACHREE CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY NEW LINE HOME VIDEO JO MANUEL PRODUCTIONS LIMITED |
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