|
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971)
All right, what's it going to be?
A Triple Cream Cup for Christopher. A Squelchy Snorter for Otis. A Sizzler for June Marie. And listen! - Wonka's got a new one today. - What is it? This one's a Scrumpdiddleumptious Bar. Scrumpdiddleumptious Bar? How does he do it? Do you ask a fish how it swims? Or a bird how it flies? No, you don't. They were born to do it. Just like Willy Wonka was born to be a candy man... ...and you were born to be a Wonkerer. Who can take the sunrise Sprinkle it with dew Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two The Candy Man! The Candy Man can 'Cause he mixes it with love And makes the world taste good Who can take a rainbow Wrap it in a sigh Soak it in the sun And make the strawberry-lemon pie The Candy Man? The Candy Man! The Candy Man can! 'Cause he mixes it with love And makes the world... ...taste good Willy Wonka makes Everything he bakes Satisfying and delicious Talk about your childhood wishes You can even eat the dishes Who can take tomorrow Dip it in a dream Separate the sorrow And collect up all the cream - The Candy Man - Willy Wonka can The Candy Man can The Candy Man can 'Cause he mixes it with love And makes the world taste good And the world tastes good 'Cause the Candy Man thinks it should Hi, Mr. Jopeck. Come along, Charlie. You're late. It's payday, Mr. Jopeck. You're right. - There you are. - Thanks. Say hello to your Grandpa Joe. Up the airy mountain... ...down the rushing glen. We dare not go a-hunting... ...for fear... ...of little men. You see... ...nobody ever goes in... ...nobody ever comes out. Charlie's late. He works too hard for a little boy. He should have some time to play. Not enough hours in the day. With you four bedridden for 20 years... ...it takes work to keep this family going. If only his father were alive. When I get my strength back, I'll get out of bed to help him. In all the years you've been saying that... ...I've yet to see you set foot on the floor. Maybe if the floor wasn't so cold... Hi, everybody! Wake up, Charlie's home! Grandpa George. Grandma Georgina. Grandma Josephine. Grandpa Joe! Is this your supper, Grandpa? It's yours, too. I'm fed up with cabbage water. It's not enough! It's all we have! What are you saying? - How about this? - Where did you get that? What difference does it make where? He got it. My first payday. Good for you. We'll have a real banquet. Mom? Here's what's left. You keep it. Except for this. From now on, I'm paying for your tobacco. No one's going to pay for it. I'm giving it up. Dad, it's only one pipe a day. When bread looks like a banquet, I've no right to tobacco. Go on, Grandpa. Please take it. After my paper route, I was in front of Wonka's. There was this strange man there. I think he was a tinker. He was standing behind me looking up at the factory. Just before he left he said... "Nobody ever goes in, and nobody ever comes out. " And right he was, Charlie! Not since the tragic day Willy Wonka locked it. Why did he? Because all the other chocolate makers were sending spies... ...dressed as workers to steal Mr. Wonka's secret recipes. Especially Slugworth. That Slugworth was the worst! Finally, Mr. Wonka shouted, "I'll be ruined!" "Close the factory!" And that's just what he did. He locked the gates and vanished completely. And then, suddenly, about three years later... ...the most amazing thing happened. The factory started again, full blast! And more delicious candies were coming out than ever. But the gates stayed locked. So that no one... ...not even Slugworth, could steal them. But Grandpa, someone must be helping Mr. Wonka work the factory. Thousands must be. But who? Who are they? That is the biggest mystery of them all. - Charlie Bucket? - Yes, Mr. Turkentine? I need an assistant. Give me a hand. We have nitric acid, glycerin... ...and a special mixture of my own. Together it's dangerous stuff, blows you up. But mixed together right, as only I know how, what's it make? - I don't know. - Of course not! Because only I know. If you knew, you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you. And for a student to teach his teacher is presumptuous. Is that clear? - Yes, sir. - Good. Mixed together in the right way, these dangerous ingredients... ...make the finest wart remover. The trick is to pour equal amounts. Charlie, you take the nitric acid and glycerin... ...and I'll take my special mixture. Ready? Good lad. Pour. Did we do it wrong? Certainly not. This is for big warts. What's going on out there? Come here! What's happening? Willy Wonka's opening his factory! Are you sure? He's giving lots of chocolate away! - Class dismissed! - It's only for 5 people! Class un-dismissed. He hid 5 Golden Tickets. Whoever finds them wins the prize. - Where'd he hide them? - Inside 5 Wonka Bars, you must buy them. Class re-dismissed! Now, details of the announcement... ...that has captured the world's attention. Hidden among the billions of Wonka Bars... ...are 5 Gold Tickets. And to the 5 people who find them will come the most fabulous prize. A lifetime supply of chocolate. If this were not enough, each winner, before receiving his prize... ...will be personally escorted... They're all crazy! The man's a genius! He'll sell a million bars. Do you think I've got a chance to find one? One?! I'm counting on you to find all five! One's enough for me. We have reports... ...the response is phenomenal! Wonka Bars... ...are disappearing... ...at a rate to boggle the mind. It is incredible... ...the way Wonkamania has descended upon the globe. While the world searches, we watch and wait, wondering... ...where it will lead, and how long the spirit will hold up... ...under the strain. I still have these dreams, Doctor, And I still can't stop believing them. I've told you, Mr. Hoffstedder... ...to believe in dreams is a manifestation of insanity. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you'll get well. I dreamed the Archangel whispered into my ear where to find a Golden Ticket. What did he say? What difference does that make? This was a dream. - You said... - Shut up and tell me where's the ticket! We begin with 5 Golden Tickets. Like 5 lucky bolts of lightning ready to strike at any point on the map. No one knew where or when the first one would hit. But last night we got our answer. While America slept, the first Golden Ticket was found... ...in the small town of Duselheim, Germany. We've been waiting for the story, and we're ready with a live report. Proud we are, for the attention of the world... ...focuses today here in Duselheim. A community thrust into prominence... ...by the discovery of the first Wonka Golden Ticket. Its finder is the son of a prominent butcher. The boys name, Augustus Gloop! The pride of Duselheim, the fame of Western Germany. An example for the whole world. How does it feel to be the first Golden Ticket finder? - Hungry. - Any other feelings? Sorry for Wonka. It'll cost him a fortune in fudge. Mr. Gloop, would you mind... Mrs. Gloop, would you say a few words to the audience? I knew he would find a Golden Ticket. Eating is his hobby. He wouldn't do it unless he needed the nourishment. Happy birthday, Charlie! Here you are, Charlie. Thank you. It's terrific! We each knitted, Grandmas Georgina, Josephine and me. I did the end pieces with the tassels. And here's a little gift from Grandpa George and me. I think I know what this is. - It is! A Wonka! - Open it, Charlie. Let's see that Golden Ticket. - Wouldn't it be fantastic? - Don't raise his hopes. Never mind. Open it. I want to see that gold! Stop it! - I've got the same chance as anybody! - You've got more. You want it more. Go on, open it! Here goes! - I got it! - Where? Let's see! Fooled you, didn't I? You thought I really had it. Never mind, Charlie. You'll find one. - Here, everybody have a bite. - No, no! I wanted to find the first Golden ticket, Daddy! I know, angel. We're doing the best we can. I've got every girl on staff hunting for you. Where is it? Why can't they find it? Veruca, sweetheart, I'm not a magician! Give me time! I want it now! What's the matter with those twerps? For five days now, the entire factory's been on the job! They haven't shelled a peanut since Monday! They've been shelling chocolate bars from dawn to dusk! Work nights! Come along, you girls! Put a jerk in it, or you'll be out on your ears! And listen: The first girl... ...that finds a Golden Ticket gets a bonus in their pay packet! What do you think of that?! They're not even trying! They don't want to find it! Sweetheart, I can't push them no harder. You promised! You promised I'd have it the first day! You're going to be very unpopular if you don't deliver soon. It breaks my heart. I hate to see her unhappy. I won't talk to you! You're a rotten father! You never give me anything! I won't go to school! Veruca! Sweetheart! Angel! There are only 4 tickets left in the world... ...and the whole world's hunting for them! What can I do? I got it, Mr. Salt! Here it is! About time, too! I want it! Give me my ticket! It's mine! I found the Golden Ticket! Thank God! Happiness is what counts with children. Happiness and harmony. This is the sign of our times. The symbol of the havoc... ...the mad craze that's sweeping the world. Whatever corner of the globe we are in, whichever continent we're on... ...the great Wonka Bar search continues. We're near the end... ...of our 43rd day in the Golden Ticket hunt. Everywhere, are signs of anxiety. Every hour... ...new shipments are sent around the globe. But they're not moving fast enough. And as time passes the men who seek them become more and more desperate. Gentlemen, I know how anxious you've been during these last few days. But now I think I can safely say... ...that your time and money have been well spent. We're about to witness the greatest miracle of the machine age. Based on the revolutionary law of probability, this machine... ...will tell us the precise location of the three remaining... ...Golden Tickets. It says... ..."I won't tell. That would be cheating. " I am now telling the computer... ...if it will tell me the correct answer I will gladly share with it... ...the grand prize. He says... ..."What would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate?" I am now telling the computer exactly what he can do with the chocolate. It can happen here, too, unbelievable as it sounds... ...right here in America. Where even in the smallest town, the happiest dreams can come true. Here she is... ...Violet Beauregarde, finder of Golden Ticket number 3. From Miles City, Montana. And the proud parents. Mr. Beauregarde, a local politician, civic leader... Sam Beauregarde, Square Deal Sam to you... ...with great giveaway bargains. The finest values in the entire country! - Here's a sedan... - Dad, they don't want you! - Care to say a few words? - Sure! Here is Golden Ticket number 3, and it's all mine! I'm a gum chewer, but when I heard about the tickets... ...I laid off gum and switched to candy. Now, of course, I'm back on gum. I chew it all day, except at mealtimes when I stick it behind my ear. - Violet! - Cool it, Mother! This piece of gum I've been chewing for three months. A world record! It beat the record held by my friend, Cornelia... ...and was she mad! Hi Cornelia, sweetie! Let me just say, if any of you folks watching... - What are you doing here? - I'll walk you home. I'm not ready. I'm going to be here late. Then I guess I'll be going. Why not stay a minute. Pull up a pile of clothes and sit down. School all right? Yep. Good. Go on your newspaper route? Just finished. Good. I wanted to tell you something. They found the third ticket. Did they? I guess I'll be going now. That's all? I thought you'd like to know. Most people are pretty interested. I know I'm interested. There are only two tickets left, you know. Just two. Pretty soon, just one. I wonder who'll be the lucky ones. If you're wondering, it won't be me. If you're wondering, you can count me out. There are 100 billion people... ...and only 5 will find Golden Tickets. Even with a sack of money, you probably wouldn't find one. When this is over you'll be no different from billions of others who didn't. But I am different. I want it more than any of them. You'll get your chance. One day things will change. When? When will they change? Probably when you least expect it. See you later. You get blue like everyone But me and Grandpa Joe Can make your troubles go away Blow away There they go Cheer up, Charlie Give me a smile What happened to that smile I used to know Don't you know your grin Has always been my sunshine Let that sunshine show Come on, Charlie No need to frown Deep down you know The world is still your toy When the world gets heavy Never pit-a-pat 'em Up and at 'em, boy Some day... ...sweet as a song Charlie's lucky day will come along Till that day you've got to stay strong, Charlie Up on top is right where you belong Look up, Charlie You'll see a star Just follow it And keep your dream in view Pretty soon the sky is going to clear up, Charlie Cheer up, Charlie, do Cheer up, Charlie Just be glad you're you While the world searches... ...here it has actually happened. There's only one Golden Ticket left in the entire world. Because right here, in Marble Falls, Arizona... ...is lucky winner number four! The name to be heard around the universe is Mr. Mike Teevee! Can we shut that off? - Are you crazy? - He won't answer till station break. The country wants to hear from you! Can't you shut up? I'm busy. What a show! I serve all his dinners here. He's never been to the table. - You love TV? - You bet! About that Golden ticket... I want to catch this! - Like killings? - What do you think life's all about? Mike, would you tell us if... Wait till I get a real one. Colt 45. Pop won't let me have one yet, will you? Not till you're 12, son. Four down, one to go. And somewhere out there another lucky person is moving closer... ...to finding the last of the most sought-after prizes in history. Though we can envy him, whoever he is... ...and might be tempted to be bitter at our losing... ...we must remember there are more important things. Many more important things! Offhand, I can't think of what they are but I'm sure there's something. Now for weather and... Why did you wake me up? Is something wrong? Grandpa! That money was for tobacco. I've told you, I've given it up. Go on, open it! One ticket left. Let's see that gold. No, you do it. I can't. We're going to be lucky this time. I've got a funny feeling inside. Which end shall I open first? That end. Just a tiny bit. - Like this? - Now a bit more. - You finish it! I can't. - No, Grandpa! You do it. All right. Here goes. You know... ...I bet those Golden Tickets make the chocolate taste terrible. Lot 403. I can personally guarantee... ...that this is the absolutely last case of Wonka Bars... ...left in the United Kingdom. Shall we start the bidding at I have 2,500. Your Majesty! I'm sorry, Mrs. Curtis. There isn't anything to give us a clue. They kidnapped my husband When will we hear? What do they want? Stay calm. They want ransom. We wait to hear their demands. I'll give them anything they want. All I want is Harold back! Go ahead, we're listening. Whatever they asked for they can have it. They want your case of Wonka Bars. Did you hear me? It's your husband's life or your Wonka Bars. How long do I have to think it over? That's it! The Wonka contest is all over. The final ticket has been found... ...we've got a live report in from Paraguay, South America. It is finished. The end has come. The last Golden Ticket has been found... ...right here in Paraguay. The finder is lucky Alberto Minoleta... ...the millionaire owner of South America gambling casinos. Here is the most recent picture of the happy finder. Turn it off! Well, that's that. No more Golden Tickets. A lot of rubbish, the whole thing. Not to Charlie, it wasn't. A boy needs something to hope for. What's he got to hope for now? Who's going to tell him? Let's not wake him. He'll find out soon enough. Yeah, let him sleep. Let him have one last dream. I've decided to switch Friday's schedule to Monday. Which means Friday's test on what we learned during the week... ...will now be Monday before we've learned it. Since today's Tuesday, it doesn't matter. Pencils ready! Today, we are going to learn about... ...percentages. For example, let's take the recent unpleasantness. Suppose there are ...and you each opened a certain number of them. That number is... ...a percent. Understand? Madeline Durkin, how many Wonka Bars did you open? About 100. There are ten 100's in 1,000, therefore, you opened 10 percent. Peter Goff, how many did you open? - How many did you open? - Two. That's easy. 200 is twice... Not 200. Just 2. What do you mean, you only opened 2? I don't care much for chocolate. I can't figure out just 2! Let's pretend you opened 200. If you opened 200 Wonka Bars, apart from being dreadfully sick... ...you'd use 20% of 1,000... ...which is 15 percent half again, I'd like a bar of chocolate, please. Why, sure. What kind? A Slugworth Sizzler? A Wonka Scrumdiddleumptious? - Whichever's biggest. - Try a Wonka Scrumdiddleumptious. Now that the tickets are found, I don't have to hide them. Take it easy! You'll get a stomach ache. - 'Bye. - 'Bye, now. I think I'll buy just one more, for my Grandpa Joe. Sure. Try a regular Wonka Bar. Fine. - Take it easy! One at a time! - Did you hear the news? That gambler from Paraguay made a phony ticket. There's one Golden Ticket still floating around. The nerve of that guy! Trying to fool the world! He was a crook! This means the contest goes on forever. You got the last Golden Ticket! The kid's found the last Golden Ticket! Stand back! Leave the boy alone! Break it up! Charlie! Hold onto that ticket! Run for it! Run straight home! Don't stop till you get there! I congratulate you. Well done. You've found the fifth Golden Ticket. May I introduce myself? Arthur Slugworth. President of Slugworth Chocolates. Listen carefully, because I'm going to make you very rich. Mr. Wonka is working on a fantastic invention. The Everlasting Gobstopper. If he succeeds, he'll ruin me. I want you to get just one Everlasting Gobstopper... ...and bring it to me so I can find the secret formula. Your reward will be... ...10,000 of these. Think it over, will you? A new house for your family... ...food and comfort for the rest of their lives. And don't forget the name... ...Everlasting Gobstopper. I've got it! The fifth Golden Ticket is mine! You're pulling our legs, Charlie. There aren't any more Golden Tickets. The last one's fake! It's in the paper! I found money, bought a Wonka Bar and the ticket was in it! Look at it! See for yourself! Read it, Joe, for heaven's sake! "Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket... "... from Mr. Willy Wonka. Present this ticket at the factory gates... "... at 10 o'clock in the morning, October 1st, and do not be late!" "You may bring with you one member of your own family, but no one else. "In your wildest dreams you could not imagine... "... the marvelous surprises that await you!" You've done it! It says I can take somebody with me. I wish you could go. Charlie! That's good, Charlie. Now help me up. Are you okay? I'm fine, Charlie. Watch it, Joe! Look at me! Look at me! Up and about! I haven't done this in 20 years! I never thought my life could be Anything but catastrophe But suddenly I begin to see A bit of good luck for me 'Cause I've got a Golden Ticket I've got a golden twinkle... ...in my eye I never had a chance to shine Never a happy song to sing But suddenly half the world is mine What an amazing thing 'Cause I've got a Golden Ticket It's ours, Charlie! I've got a golden sun up in the sky Slippers, Charlie! I never thought I'd see the day When I would face the world and say Good morning Look at the sun I never thought that I would be Slap in the lap of luxury 'Cause I'd have said It couldn't be done But it can be done The cane, Charlie! Here I go! Watch my speed! I never dreamed that I would climb Over the moon in ecstasy But nevertheless it's there that I'm Shortly about to be 'Cause I've got a Golden Ticket I've got a golden chance to make my way And with a Golden Ticket It's a golden day Good morning! Look at the sun! 'Cause I'd have said It couldn't be done But it can be done I never dreamed that I would climb Over the moon in ecstasy But, nevertheless, it's there that I'm Shortly about to be 'Cause I've got a Golden Ticket I've got a Golden Ticket I've got a golden chance to make my way And with a Golden Ticket It's a golden day Stop! It says the first of October. That's tomorrow. We've got a lot to do! Comb your hair, wash your face, polish your shoes... - I'll take care of everything. - We don't have much time. Grandpa... on the way home today, I ran into Mr. Slugworth. Hey, Mom, we're on TV! Hi, everybody in Marble Falls! Hi, Billy! Hi, Maggie! Hi, Fishface! How do I look? - You guys ready? - You're on. This is the big day. The day Willy Wonka will open his gates and shower gifts on the 5 lucky winners. From over the globe, people have gathered, waiting for the hour... ...to see that legendary magician, Mr. Willy Wonka. Hi, friends! Don't forget to visit Beauregarde's Auto Mart... Cut it out, Dad! This is my show! Hi, Cornelia! I've still got it. How's this for a stretch? I want to go in first, before anybody. Anything you say. Save some room for later, Augustus liebling. I don't believe it! We did it. We're actually going in. To see the greatest of them all, Mr. Willy Wonka! Thank you. Welcome, my friends. Welcome to my chocolate factory. Would you come forward? Get back! Come on, Veruca! That's Slugworth, the man I told you about. Welcome. It's nice to have you here. I'm so glad you could come. This is going to be such an exciting day. I hope you enjoy it. I think you will. Please show me your Golden tickets. I'm Veruca Salt. Dear Veruca, what a pleasure! You look pretty in that mink coat! I've got three others. Overjoyed to see you, sir. Would you just step over there? Augustus Gloop. Augustus, my dear boy! Good to see you, and in such fine shape! This must be the radiant Mrs. Gloop. Over there, dear lady. - Violet Beauregarde. - Darling child! Welcome to Wonka's. What kind of gum you got? Charming! Sam Beauregarde here! What a genuine pleasure. Any automotive needs, call. Phone number's on the card. "With Sam B., it's a guarantee!" I'm Mike Teevee. Wham, you're dead! Wonderful to meet you! Mrs. Teevee, how do you do? - What an adorable boy you have. - Thank you. Charlie Bucket. I read all about you in the papers. I'm so happy for you. And who's this? My grandfather, Grandpa Joe. Delighted. Overjoyed. Enraptured. Entranced. Are we ready? Yes! Good! In with you! Hats, coats, galoshes over here. Hurry, we have so much time and so little to see. Wait a minute! Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you. - When do I get my chocolate? - First take off your coat, Violet. Boy, what weird coat hangers! Surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous! Don't be alarmed. As soon as your outer vestments are in hand... ...we'll begin. Now... ...will the children kindly step up here. Accidents? What kind of accidents? I didn't know we had to sign anything. I can't read the bottom. Violet, you first. Sign here. Hold it! Let me through. Don't sign anything. What's this about? Standard form of contract. Don't talk contracts, I use them myself. They're for suckers. You wouldn't begrudge me a little protection? A drop? I don't sign anything without my lawyer. - Veruca don't sign anything either! - Then she don't go in. I'm sorry. House rules. - I want to go in. Don't try to stop me! - I'm only trying to help. Give me that pen! You're always making things difficult. Nicely handled! She's a girl who knows where she's going. What's all that small print? Any problems? Dial Information. Thanks for calling. I assume there's an accident indemnity clause? Never between friends. Saw this in a movie. A guy signed his wife's insurance policy. - Then he bumped her off. - Clever. What about me, Grandpa? Sign away, Charlie! We've got nothing to lose. Let's go in! Come on! Patience. Everything has to be in order. Everyone signed? Yes? Good. On we go! Ninety-nine... ...forty-four... ...one hundred percent pure. Just through the other door, please. There's some mistake here. There is no other door. There's no way out! I know there's a door here someplace. I don't like this, Wonka! Is this a trick? Mr. Wonka, help! I'm getting squashed! Save me! Is it my soul that calls my name? Let me out or I'll scream! - Somebody's touching me! - Now look here, Wonka! Question time will come at the end of the session. We must press on. - Here we are. - Don't be a fool. That's the way we came in. It is? Are you sure? We've just come through there. How do you like that? - There we are. - What is this, Wonka? A funhouse? Why? Having fun? I'm not going in there. We're getting out of here. You can't get out backwards. You have to go forward to go back. Better press on. - The room is getting smaller. - No, it's not! - He's getting bigger. - He's at it again. - Where's the chocolate? - I doubt if there is any. I doubt if any of us will get out alive. Never doubt what nobody is sure about. You can't squeeze me through that door. You're off your nut. No one can get through there. My dear friends... ...you are now about to enter the nerve center... ...to the entire Wonka factory. Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities. And some of my realities become dreams. And almost everything you'll see is eatable... edible. I mean, you can eat almost everything. Let me in, I'm starving! Don't get overexcited. Don't lose your head. We wouldn't want to lose that. Yet. Now, the combination. This is a musical lock. Rachmaninoff. Ladies and gentlemen... ...boys and girls... ...the Chocolate Room. Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three. Come with me And you'll be In a world of pure imagination Take a look And you'll see into your imagination We'll begin With a spin Traveling in the world of my creation What we'll see will defy Explanation If you want to view paradise Simply look around and view it Anything you want to, do it Want to change the world There's nothing to it Hurry, Violet! This way, Grandpa! There is no life I know To compare with pure imagination Living there You'll be free If you truly wish to be If you want to view paradise Simply look around and view it Anything you want to, do it Want to change the world There's nothing... ...to it There is no life I know To compare with pure imagination Living there You'll be free If you truly... ...wish to be What a disgusting, dirty river! It's industrial waste. A ruined watershed, Wonka. It's polluted. It's chocolate. That's chocolate? That's chocolate. A chocolate river. The most fantastic thing I've ever seen. Look at my waterfall. That's the most important thing. It's mixing my chocolate. It's actually churning my chocolate. No other factory in the world mixes chocolate by waterfall. But it's the only way if you want it just right. Grandpa, look over across the river! Little men! Jumping crocodiles, Charlie! Now we know who makes it. I never saw anybody with an orange face before. Funny looking people. What are they doing? Creaming and sugaring time. - They can't be real people. - Of course, they're real people. Nonsense! No, Oompa Loompas. From Loompaland. Loompaland? There's no such place! Excuse me, dear lady... I teach geography. Then you know all about it. And what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. The poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless... ...they would get gobbled up. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast. And so I said... "Come and live with me in peace and safety... "... away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers... "... and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids. " Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that? I'm sorry, questions must be submitted in writing. So, in the greatest of secrecy... ...I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas here. I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me one right away! All right, I'll get you one before the day's out. I want an Oompa Loompa now! Can it, you nit! This is terrific. - Grandpa, look at Augustus. - Don't worry, he can't drink it all. Augustus, sweetheart, save some room for later. Don't do that! My chocolate must never be touched by human hands. Don't do that! You're contaminating my entire river! Please, I beg you! Augustus! My chocolate! Help! My chocolate! My beautiful chocolate! Don't just stand there! Do something! Help. Police. Murder. Grab this! What's happening to him? - Looks like he's drowning. - Dive in! - Save him! - It's too late. - Too late? - He's had it now. - The suction's got him. - Augustus, come back! Where is he? Watch the pipe. How long is he going to stay down? - He can't swim! - No better time to learn. His coat's going up the pipe! Call a plumber! He's stuck in the pipe, isn't he? It's his stomach. - He's blocking the chocolate! - What happens now? The pressure will get him out. It's building up behind the blockage. I wonder how long it's going to take? The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last. He'll never get out. Yes, he will. Remember you once asked me how a bullet comes out of a gun? He'll be marshmallows in 5 seconds! - Impossible, dear lady! Unthinkable! - Why? Because that pipe goes to the Fudge Room. You terrible man! Take Mrs. Gloop to the Fudge Room, but look sharp... ...or her boy will get in the boiler. You boiled him up! Nil desperandum. Across the desert lies the promised land. Goodbye, Mrs. Gloop. Adieu! Auf wiedersehen. Gesundheit. Farewell. Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do I've got a perfect puzzle for you Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Dee If you are wise you'll listen to me What do you get when you guzzle down sweets? Eating as much as an elephant eats What are you at getting terribly fat? What do you think will come of that? I don't like the look of it Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Da If you're not greedy, you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do What kind of place you running here? What's he talking about? Wow, what a boat! Looks good enough to eat! That's a nice little canoe. "All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by. " All aboard! Ladies first. That means Veruca. If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid. - You sure this thing will float? - With your buoyancy, rest assured. She's trs jolie, but is she seaworthy? Nothing to worry about. I take good care of my guests. - You took good care of that August kid. - Everybody aboard! You're going to love this. Just love it. I want a boat like this. A beautiful paddle boat, that's what I want. What she wants is a kick in the pants. I'm going to be seasick. - Try one of these. - What are they? Rainbow drops. You can spit in 7 colors. Spitting's a dirty habit. I know a worse one. - What business are you in? - Nuts. Where are we going? I don't like that tunnel. I want off! Around the world and home again. That's the sailor's way! I don't like this ride, Daddy! We're going too fast! We're going to sink! - Why doesn't he stop the boat?! - Faster! Close your eyes and hang on tight! - What is this, a freak-out?! - This isn't funny! You can't possibly see where you're going! You're right. I can't. This would make a great series! - This is kind of strange. - Yes, strange, Charlie. But it's fun! I want to get off the boat, Wonka! I may get sick! This is going too far! Tell that little guy to turn us around! Now I am going to be sick! There's no earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going There's no knowing where we're rowing Or which way the river's flowing Is it raining Is it snowing Is a hurricane a-blowing Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing! Are the fires of hell a-blowing? Is the grizzly reaper mowing? Yes! The danger must be growing for the rowers keep on rowing! And they're certainly not showing... ...any signs that they are slowing! Make him stop, Daddy! - This has gone far enough! - Quite right, sir. Stop the boat! - We're there. - Where? Here. A small step for mankind, but a giant step for us. All ashore! Let me off this freight! - Why don't they show that stuff on TV? - I don't know. What a nightmare! Daddy, I do not want a boat like this. "Dairy cream. " "Whipped cream. " - "Coffee cream. " - "Vanilla cream. " "Hair cream?" That's not French. I can't take much more. The Inventing Room. Now remember, no messing about. No touching, no tasting, no telling. No telling what? All of my most secret inventions are cooking and simmering in here. Old Slugworth would give his false teeth to get inside for five minutes. So don't touch a thing! Inventing room? Looks more like a Turkish bath. Even if Slugworth did get in here, he couldn't find anything. - You got a garbage strike? - Who does cleaning? Shouldn't you wear gloves? You'll have health inspectors after you. Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration... ...6% electricity... ...4% evaporation... ...and 2% butterscotch ripple. That's one hundred and five percent! Any good? Yes. Excuse me. Time is a precious thing. Never waste it. - He's absolutely bonkers! - That's not bad. In springtime The only pretty ring time Birds sing Hey, ding a ding-a-ding Sweet lovers love... ...the spring I told you not to, silly boy. Your teeth! Boy, that's great stuff. That's exploding candy, for your enemies. Great idea. Not ready yet. Needs more gel ignite. What's that for? Gives it a little kick. Wonka! Butterscotch? Buttergin? Something going on inside? "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. " What's the matter? Too hot, Mr. Wonka? Too cold! Far too cold. That's gourmet cooking for you. No! Don't, please. Forgive me, but no one must look under there. This is the most secret machine in my factory. - This one's going to sizzle Slugworth. - What's it do? - Would you like to see? - Yeah! What's it do? Can't you see? It makes Everlasting Gobstoppers. Everlasting Gobstoppers? For children with little pocket money. You can suck them forever. I want an Everlasting Gobstopper! - Me, too! - And me! Fantastic. Revolutionize the industry. You suck them and they'll never get smaller. Never... ...I think. - Few more tests. - How do you make them? I'm a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak louder next time. - Who wants an Everlasting Gobstopper? - Me! Me! I do! I can only give them to you if you swear to keep them for yourselves. And never show them to another soul as long as you live. Agreed? Agreed! Good. One for you, and one for you, and one for you. What about Charlie? And one for Charlie. Hey, she's got two! I want another! - Stop squawking, you twit! - Everybody has one. And one is enough for anybody. Now, come along. If you'll follow me... ...I have something special to show you. It's special, all right. I only hope Veruca doesn't want one. What a contraption! Isn't she scrumptious? My revolutionary, non-pollutionary mechanical wonder. Button, button, who's got the button? It's over there. - Here? - Yeah. What you are witnessing, dear friends... ...is the most enormous miracle of the Machine Age. The creation of a confectionery giant! - Finito! - That's all? Don't you know what this is? - By gum, it's gum! - Wrong! It's the most fabulous, sensational gum in the world! What's so fab about it? - This piece of gum is a 3-course dinner. - Bull! - Roast beef, but it's not right yet. - I don't care! I wouldn't do that. I really wouldn't. If it's gum, that's for me. Violet, don't do anything stupid. What's it taste like? Madness! It's tomato soup! It's creamy. I can feel it running down my throat! Stop. Don't. Why doesn't she listen? Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit. Great soup! The second course is coming. Roast beef and a baked potato! With sour cream? - What's for dessert? - Dessert? Here it comes! Blueberry pie and cream! It's the most marvelous pie I've ever tasted! - What's happening to your face? - Cool it! Let me finish. You're face is turning blue! - You're turning violet, Violet! - What do you mean? I told you I hadn't got it right yet. Look what it's done to my kid! It always goes wrong when we come to the desserts. Always. What are you doing! - You're blowing up! - I feel funny! - I'm not surprised. - What's happening?! - You're like a balloon! - Like a blueberry. - Call a doctor! - Stick her with a pin. - She'll pop! - It happens every time! - They all become blueberries. - You've done it this time! I'll break you for this! I'll get it right in the end. Help! We've got to let the air out of her! There's no air. - That's juice. - Juice? Would you roll her down to the juicing room? - What for? - For squeezing. She has to be squeezed before she explodes. - Explodes?! - It's a fairly simple operation. Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do I've got another puzzle for you Oompa Loompa Doompa Da Dee If you are wise you'll listen to me Gum chewing's fine When it's once in a while It stops you from smoking And brightens your smile But it's repulsive Revolting and wrong Chewing and chewing All day long The way that a cow does Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Da Given good manners You will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do I'll get even with you for this, if it's the last thing I do! I got a blueberry for a daughter! "Where is fancy bred? In the heart or in the head?" Shall we roll on? Thank you. Well, well, well! Two naughty, nasty little children gone. Three good, sweet little children left. Hurry, please. Long way to go yet. Wait a minute. Must show you this. Lickable wallpaper for nursery walls. Lick an orange or pineapple. It tastes like them. Try it! I got a plum! Grandpa, this banana's fantastic! It tastes so real! Try some more. The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries. Snozzberries? Whoever heard of a snozzberry? We are the music makers. And we are the dreamers of dreams. Come along. Something very unusual in here. Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Yet. What's it making? Fizzy-Lifting drinks. They fill you with gas and the gas lifts you... ...off the ground like a balloon. Isn't it high? But it's still too powerful. Let us try some! No, no. There'd be children floating all over the place! Come along, don't hang about. You'll be wild about this next one. Let's take a drink. No one's watching. A small one won't hurt us. Not bad. Well? Nothing's happening. You're right, Charlie. I can't understand why! I feel terribly strange. - What do we do now? - I don't know, Charlie! - Mr. Wonka isn't going to like this! - We can't stay up here all day! - You're right, but... - I'll try and get down. All right, Charlie, but, please, be careful. It's fun! It works! Come on in! The air's fine! - I haven't swam in 20 years. - Give me your hand! I don't think I ought to. This is great! Try this, Grandpa! All right, Charlie. Wait for me! - I'm a shooting star! - I'm a rocket! This is really great! Look, I'm a bird! I feel light as a feather. Look down. We're really high now. Watch this, Grandpa. Wonderful, Charlie! - Try it, Grandpa! - I don't know! Come on, Grandpa! All right. Hey, you did it, Grandpa! I hit an air pocket. You can fly to the moon this way! Let's fly south for the winter. Why not? I'm a bird! I'm a plane! I'm... ...going too high! Hey, Grandpa, I can't get down! Help! Grandpa, the fan! Itll chop us to bits! We're in trouble! I can't stop! It's pulling me in! I can't stop! - What do we do? - Grab hold of something! There's nothing to grab onto! Help! We'll be killed! Help! Help! Mr. Wonka, please! Turn off the fan! I'm going down! Burp! If you don't, it'll cut you to ribbons! - I can't! Help! - You've got to burp! It's the only way! That-a-boy! Burp again! That-a-boy! Come on! That's wonderful, Charlie! Grab on. We're going to be all right. Good boy! From now on we keep our feet on the ground. Let's catch up to the others! I know what you're thinking. They can't be doing that. But they are. They have to. The Oompa Loompas can't do it. The geese that lay the golden eggs! They're larger than ordinary geese. They're quadruple-size, which produce... ...octuple-size eggs. They're laying overtime for Easter. But Easter's over! They don't know that. I'm trying to get ahead for next year. What if they drop an egg? An omelet fit for a king, sir. Are they chocolate eggs? Golden chocolate eggs! A great delicacy. But don't get too close. The geese are temperamental. So we have the Eggdicator. The Eggdicator tells the difference between a good egg... ...and a bad egg. If it's good, it's shined and shipped over the world. If it's a bad egg... ...down the chute. An educated Eggdicator. It's a lot of nonsense. A little nonsense now and then... ...Is relished by the wisest men. I want a golden goose! Here we go again. All right, sweetheart. You'll get one as soon as we get home. No, I want one of those! How much do you want for the goose? - Not for sale. - Name your price. She can't have one. Who says I can't? - The man with the hat. - I want one! I want a golden goose! Gooses! Geeses! I want my geese to lay gold eggs for Easter. - It will, sweetheart. - At least 100 a day. - Anything you say. - And by the way! I want a feast. You ate before you came. I want a bean-feast One of those. Cream buns and doughnuts And fruitcake with no nuts - So good you could go nuts - You'll have it when you get home. No, now! I want a ball! I want a party Pink macaroons And a million balloons And performing baboons and... ...give it to me Now! I want the world I want the whole world I want to lock it all up in my pocket It's my bar of chocolate Give it to me now I want today I want tomorrow I want to wear them Like braids in my hair And I don't want to share them I want a party with roomfuls of laughter And if I don't get the things I am after I'm going to scream I want the works I want the whole works Presents and prizes And sweets and surprises Of all shapes and sizes And now Don't care how I want it now Don't care how I want it now She was a bad egg. Where's she gone? Where all the other bad eggs go. Down the garbage chute. The garbage chute! Where does it lead to? To the furnace. The furnace? - She'll sizzle like a sausage. - Not necessarily. She could be stuck inside the tube. Hold on! Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming! There'll be a lot of garbage today. Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted. - What's that? - Veruca went first. Mr. Wonka, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will they? I think that furnace is lit only every other day. So they have a good sporting chance. Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do I've got another puzzle for you Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Dee If you are wise you'll listen to me Who do you blame When your kid is a brat Pampered and spoiled Like a Siamese cat Blaming the kids Is a lie and a shame You know exactly Who's to blame The mother and the father Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Da If you're not spoiled Then you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do The children are disappearing like rabbits! We still have each other. Shall we press on? Can't we sit down for a minute? - The pace is killing me. - Transportation has been arranged. Behold the Wonkamobile! "A thing of beauty is a joy forever. " Places, please. The dance is about to begin. Grab a seat, they're going fast! What's that they're filling it up with? Ginger ale, ginger pop, ginger beer, beer bubbles... ...bubble cola, double cola, double-bubble burp-a-cola... ...that carbonated stuff that tickles your nose. Few people realize the power in one of those things. I'm sorry I asked. Would Slugworth pay extra to know about this? Just keep your eyes open and your mouth shut. Everybody set? Will this go fast? It should. It's got more gas than a politician! Hold on. I'm going to open her up and see what she can do. Swifter than eagles... ...stronger than lions. It's getting in my eyes! It's seeping in my shoes! I'm soaked! Itll never come out! It's sticking to my gun! My dress! My hair! My face! I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka! I'm dry cleaned! Hey, Grandpa... ...what was that we just went through? Hsaw Aknow. - Is that Japanese? - No, Wonka Wash spelled backwards. That's it. The journey's over. Finest bath I've had in twenty years! Let's do it again! - That's as far as it goes? - Couldn't we have walked? If the Lord meant for us to walk He wouldn't have invented roller-skates. Would you put these on? We have to be careful. There's dangerous stuff inside. Wonkavision! My very latest and greatest invention. - It's television! - It's Wonkavision. You all know how ordinary television works. I do! You photograph something... ...then it's split into millions of pieces... ...that fly through the air and arrive at your TV set in the right order. You should open your mouth a little wider when you speak. If they can do it with a photograph... ...why not a bar of chocolate? I shall now send this chocolate bar from one end of the room to the other. It has to be big, because when you transmit by television... ...it always ends up smaller. Goggles on, please. Lights... camera... ...action! You can remove your goggles. Where's the chocolate? It's flying over our heads in a million pieces. Now watch the screen. Here it comes. There it is. Take it. How? It's just a picture. All right, you take it. It's real! Taste it! It's just gotten smaller. It's perfect! Unbelievable! A miracle! A TV dinner! It's Wonkavision. It could change the world! Can you send other things? - Not just chocolate. - Anything you like. What about people? People? I don't really know. I suppose I could. Yes, I'm sure I could. I'm pretty sure I could. But it might have messy results. I'm going to be the first person to be sent by television! Get away! Stop. Don't. Come back. Lights... camera... action! Where are you? He's up there, in a million pieces. - Mike, are you there? - No good shouting. Watch the screen. Mike? Why is he taking so long? A million pieces take time to put together. - Where are they? - There's something coming through. - Is it Mike? - It's hard to tell, but... The little groover's getting smaller. Look at me! I'm the first person in the world to be sent by television! Wow, what a wild trip that was! It's the greatest thing that's ever happened! Am I coming in clear? I said, am I coming in clear? Great. He's completely unharmed. You call that unharmed?! Wow! That was something! Can I do it again? There'll be nothing! Don't worry, Mom. I feel fine. I'm famous! I'm a TV star! Wait till the kids hear! No one will hear! Where are you taking me? I don't want to go in there! Be quiet! Well? Fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So, I think we'll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. To the Taffy-Pulling Room. The boy is in his mother's purse. But be careful. What's he saying? No, I won't hold you responsible. And now, my dearest lady, it's time to say good-bye. No, no! Don't speak! For some moments in life, there are no words. Run along now. Adieu. "Parting is such sweet sorrow. " Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do I've got another puzzle for you Oompa Loompa Doompa Da Dee If you are wise you'll listen to me What do you get from a glut of TV? A pain in the neck and an IQ of 3 Why don't you try simply reading a book? Or could you just not bear to look? You'll get no You'll get no commercials Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Da If you like reading you will go far You will live in happiness too Like the... ...Oompa... ...Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Do! So much to do, so much to do. Invoices, bills, letters. I must answer that note from the queen. What will happen to the others? My dear boy... ...they'll be quite all right. When they leave here they'll be restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe a little wiser for the wear. Don't worry. What do we do now, Mr. Wonka? I hope you enjoyed yourselves. Excuse me for not showing you out. Up the stairs. I'm busy. A whole day wasted. Good-bye to you both. What happened? Did we do something wrong? I don't know, Charlie. But I'm going to find out. I am extraordinarily busy, sir. I wanted to ask about the chocolate. The lifetime supply of chocolate? For Charlie. When does he get it? - He doesn't. - Why not? Because he broke the rules. What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we? Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under Section 37-B of the contract signed by him... ...it states clearly that all offers shall become null and void if... ...and you can read it for yourself in this copy: "I, the undersigned... "... shall forfeit all rights, privileges and licenses... "... herein contained," et cetera... "... fax mentis... "... incendium gloria culpam," et cetera, et cetera. "Memo bis punitor della cattum!" It's all there! Black and white! Clear as crystal! You stole Fizzy-Lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be sterilized! So you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir! You're a crook! A cheat and a swindler, that's what you are! How can you do this?! Build up a little boy's hopes and then smash his dreams to pieces! You're an inhuman monster! I said, "Good day"! Come on, Charlie. Let's get out of here. I'll get even, if it's the last thing I do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one. "So shines a good deed... "... in a weary world. " My boy. You've won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would! I just knew you would! Forgive me for putting you through this. Come in, Mr. Wilkinson. Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson. - Pleasure. - Slugworth! That's not Slugworth! He works for me! - For you? - I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test. You won! - Won what? - The jackpot, my dear sir! - The grand and glorious jackpot! - The chocolate? The chocolate, yes. But, that's just the beginning! We have so much time and so little to do! Strike that. Reverse it. This way, please! We'll take the Wonkavator. Step in, Charlie. Grandpa Joe, sir. - This is the great glass Wonkavator. - It's an elevator. A Wonkavator. An elevator goes up and down. But the Wonkavator goes sideways, slantways, backways... And frontways? ...and any ways you can think of. It can take you to any room by pressing one of these buttons. Any button. Press a button and zing! You're off. And up until now, I've pressed them all. Except one. This one. Go ahead, Charlie. Me? There it goes! Hold on tight! I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen. Faster! If we don't pick up speed, we won't get through. Through what? - You mean, we're going..? - Up and out. This roof is glass. It'll shatter in 1,000 pieces! - We'll be cut to ribbons! - Probably. Hold on, everybody! Here it comes! - You did it! Congratulations! - Get up, take a look. Our town looks so pretty. Look over here, Charlie. I think I see our house. It really looks beautiful. There's my school! How did you like the chocolate factory? It's the most wonderful place in the world. I'm pleased to hear you say that... ...because I'm giving it to you. - What? - That's all right, isn't it? - You're giving Charlie the... - I can't go on forever. And I don't really want to try. Who can I trust to run the factory, and take care of the Oompa Loompas for me? Not a grown-up. A grown-up would do everything his way, not mine. That's why I decided long ago that I had to find a child. A very honest... ...loving child... ...to whom I can tell all my precious candy-making secrets. - That's why you sent the Golden Tickets. - That's right. The factory's yours. You can move in immediately. - And me? - Absolutely. - What happens to the rest... - The whole family. I want you to bring them all. But Charlie... ...don't forget what happened to the man who got everything he wanted. What happened? He lived happily ever after. |
|