It's the Riverside Festival today.
Is Yim Wing Chun coming?
She'll definitely come.
PURPLE THORN FORTRESS
It looks busy.
- My information is always spot on.
- True.
If Sifu Yim wasn't here, no one would
trade in case the bandits turned up.
Waiter! Is Sifu Yim here yet?
Yes, she's been here for sometime.
- Let's go in.
- OK!
You have to be sharp when doing business,
you can't be indecisive.
You're still thinking.
Come on, it's getting late.
How about that?
OK! I'll lower the price.
You're not sincere, how about...
Sifu Yim is very brave.
That's Sifu Yim's aunt.
Acid tongue, Auntie Fong.
Wow, I've heard a lot about her.
She was raised on fermented tofu
and has bad breath.
It really smells.
Are you interested?
Don't you dare use
your middle finger on me. What so funny?
- No deal! Let's go.
- Hey! We're not done yet.
It's her.
Why is Yim Wing Chun
dressed like a man?
Idiot! I think
she looks great in a man's suit.
Fantastic, we can ask her
to be the head of security.
- Hold on.
- Come on, Master!
The bandits are after our property now,
we can't afford to wait.
I have an idea.
If we hire her, we'll have to pay a lot.
If I marry her, we'd only have to feed her.
- Master, you must be joking.
- No.
The bandits are coming!
Let's get out of here.
I hope she'll back me up.
You small-time crooks
have been bullying the villagers.
I'm Wong and this is Sifu Yim,
we won't allow your behavior here.
We won't bother any traders here,
we just want to talk to you
about wealth distribution.
How dare you blackmail me
in broad daylight?
Shut up! I think we need to
talk to him with our fists.
- You have bad breath.
- Who's talking about me?
None of my business!
I'll protect you!
Master! Master!
- Master, are you all right?
- I beat them all!
Scholar, I respect your bravery
in driving the bandits away.
I owe it to your help. Thank you.
Don't worry, we're here to help you.
I won't just thank you verbally,
I'll visit your house to thank you.
It's nothing. The bandits have left,
you'd better be on your way too.
Sure, sure. Let's go.
If we can get her to guard our house,
it'll be ideal.
Master, a woman
that fights will never be right.
- Master! You have to be careful.
- Mind your own business.
- Farewell!
- Bye.
This scholar is really interesting.
Who's interested in who?
I thought you'd decided not to marry?
That's true, I'm not marrying.
- Look there!
- Here!
Let's look for your father first.
Where is he?
- Finish up your food...
- Who threw that?
You must have offended
a lot of people. Let's go.
I've suffered a lot for the Yim family.
Fortunately, I've found a match
for your second daughter.
Thanks to you.
They're there.
We'll talk later...
- Dad.
- Where's that matchmaker going?
She's afraid of you.
You took Wing Chun to your business deal?
You must have earned a lot.
You and Wing Chow
don't have to worry about your future.
But Wing Chun and I
have to look after each other.
- Be quiet.
- You've spoiled her.
- It wasn't me who taught her Kung Fu.
- Come on, stop arguing.
It's all your fault.
Come on, Auntie,
I'm getting married tomorrow.
Today is the Riverside Festival,
we shouldn't argue.
OK, I'll swallow all my anger.
I won't die from it.
The River God has come forth!
Three invincible southern masters
would like to pay our respects.
Oh!
Look! What a beauty.
She's exquisite!
- Stop looking.
- Why can't I?
My name is Yim Neung, my husband is ill.
I've come a long way for
some holy water from the River God.
Holy water isn't for outsiders.
Please don't send me away.
Have mercy on me.
I came from afar, my husband is very ill.
It's so pitiful. Wing Chow, if you marry
a husband like that, you'll suffer.
- Nothing good comes out of your mouth.
- But it's true. Let me finish.
If her husband suffers from syphilis...
Look, I didn't fall. What now?
The bandits are here!
- Don't worry.
- Bandits.
Let's take this girl
for our second brother.
Help! Help!
- Go and help her.
- You go.
Help!
Don't worry.
Good, Wing Chun is here.
Mr. Yim, stop your daughter.
- She embarrasses us men.
- I've been tolerating you for long enough.
Miss, climb up quickly.
They're too close, I can't help now.
Attack!
Hit him!
Wing Chun!
Wing Chun who? Fight!
- Fantastic!
- Keep your mouth shut!
You'll bring us bad luck.
It's just the back of the knife.
Help!
Help!
Help!
I give up!
Help!
Miss, you needn't worry.
The bandits are all gone.
Shithead! I won't let this go.
You'd better watch out.
Wing Chun's saved the girl!
Your husband is here.
Dear, are you all right?
- Waiter.
- Yes.
Give them a room and find him a doctor.
Your sister's getting married tomorrow
and your father wants her to rest today.
Why do you have to do the cleaning?
What's the big deal about getting married?
After marriage, she'll still have to work.
Do you need some domestic help?
Itll cost too much.
- You finish it then!
- Hey!
If you don't get married, you'll have to work.
You're not married!
Why don't you do the cleaning?
The bridegroom is very ugly.
It's my fault that Wing Chow
has to marry him.
- We're going.
- Sister, farewell.
Let's go!
Wing Chow, if this bastard shouts at you...
What are you looking at?
You come back to us.
You don't have to put up with anything.
Shut up!
Take care of yourself on the way.
You're not young any more.
It'd be a tragedy to die in another village.
Don't say such things.
I was just trying to be kind. Is that wrong?
Congratulations to Elder Yim
on such an important occasion.
I'm Scholar Wong Hok Chow.
- I've brought my band to celebrate.
- Stop!
Scholar Wong, I appreciate it
very much. Thank you.
That's nothing compared to what
Miss Wing Chun has done for me.
I'm also a great admirer of hers.
- Fabulous!
- Dad, it's time to leave.
You don't have to wait for your fianc.
Let's go! If we miss the lucky hour,
- our family will be cursed.
- Let's go.
We'll never have peace again. Let's go.
Goodbye.
Don't worry, Elder Yim.
I'll look after Wing Chun.
- Why is it so crowded?
- What a great business opportunity!
Excuse me.
Wing Chun, it's time to be embarrassed.
We've invited the magnificent fighter
Sifu Wong to teach you a lesson.
Save it.
When it comes to fighting,
men are always better than women.
Though I can't say
the same about child-bearing.
This time I'm sure to win.
Wing Chun, after this humiliation,
you'll have to stay home and breed.
He's got worse breath than you.
Your father asked you not to fight.
- But my father isn't here.
- That's true.
Fight!
If you can smash this piece of tofu, you win.
If I don't smash you,
I won't consider it a victory.
Sifu!
I'll be serious now.
You flew over the table,
crawl back underneath it.
Surrender?
No!
You're not surrendering?
Continue the beating please!
No, it's not a beating, it's a lesson.
Sifu Wong, you shouldn't have.
You'd be better off collecting cow dung.
Let's get out of here.
There's a beautiful girl there
selling herself to bury her husband.
Whose husband died? Lucky woman.
This lady's husband died without
leaving any money for the funeral.
She owes the inn five taels of silver too.
She's selling herself for at least 10 taels
of silver to clear her debts. Any bidders?
- Eleven.
- Twelve.
- Eleven taels of gold!
- Twelve!
- Hey.
- Huh?
- What?
- Huh?
Look how desperate you are!
You're drooling all over her.
Bullshit, I just admire
her faithfulness to her husband.
If she ends up with
some dirty old man, she'll suffer.
If you want to help this lady,
you've got to be sincere.
I wonder if you're really willing
to part with your money.
Not willing!
- It's OK, don't force him.
- It doesn't matter. How much?
I don't print money!
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
- This five taels are for you.
- Thank you, Sifu Yim.
Take this for your husband's funeral.
Use the remaining money to go home.
Thank you. I don't have a place to go
back to, can I stay with you today?
You can stay...
Stay with us and I'll give
your husband a proper funeral. Let's go.
- Let's go.
- Please.
Let's go to the castle.
Come on! Move!
The Castle Lord is great.
The Castle Lord is magnificent.
These two guys want to join our clan
to deal with Wing Chun.
- That's true.
- Send them here.
Since you weren't killed by the arrows,
you must be sincere. Let's go inside.
Wine that suppresses fear!
- Drink this.
- No...
Where is the woman?
The woman has been sold by
Yim Wing Chun.
No, she has been bought by
Yim Wing Chun.
Outrageous!
Wing Chun really has no fear.
She likes both women and men.
How could she take my woman?
I'll kill Wing Chun and
bring justice to our land.
We have to save Yim Neung.
Kill Yim Wing Chun.
Save Yim Neung.
Hey, Wing Chun.
After you learnt Kung Fu from Sifu Wu May,
you lost all your femininity.
Your chest flows into your arms.
Your bum flows into your thighs.
We'll lose all our customers
after your sister is gone.
If I rely on you, I'll starve.
Our tofu is very good,
we don't need gimmicks.
Nowadays, people go for packaging.
If the packaging is no good,
no men will come.
So I've trained a Miss Tofu
to entertain our customers. Come out.
I dressed her the way you used to look.
We'll definitely attract
a lot of dirty old men as customers.
Doesn't she look good?
I'm wearing your clothes,
they're beautiful.
Turn around.
She looks just like how you used to.
- True.
- Really?
Really.
You'll help us sell tofu tomorrow.
You'll be a Tofu Beauty.
- OK.
- Right, let me teach you how to pose.
Chest out, tummy in.
Clean your sweat like this,
flaunt yourself...
Practice by yourself.
Time flies, it's been many years.
That's not true. If you dressed up,
you'd look as good as her.
I'm used to it now.
With her around, our business will be good.
I didn't mean to be rude.
I know. You're meant to be brainless.
- Tofu Beauty.
- I've been waiting since day break!
Don't be too anxious.
Queue up or I won't serve you.
We've been queuing.
OK! Get in line.
The smell is unbearable!
If you want tofu, please queue up.
That's right, queue up please.
OK, we'll queue.
All these dirty men.
- Is it sweet?
- Very sweet, I want another bowl.
Follow the rules! One per customer.
I want two bowls.
- OK.
- I want two bowls too.
No problem.
I'll join the queue again.
Marvelous. I think she sells
more tofu than you used to.
People were more conservative then.
I'm getting rich.
- You have a beautiful smile.
- Really? Thank you.
- I don't want tofu, I want fermented tofu.
- OK.
Soya bean milk is sold out.
- I have some! I have some!
- You dried up years ago!
Trying to seduce me?
I've gone all shy.
I want the jar at the top.
Not that jar, go further across.
Brilliant idea!
Further, further.
You're terrible.
Not that jar, I want the first one.
- Yim Neung.
- Scholar Wong.
- I'll help you.
- It's all right.
It's only right for me to help,
let me hold onto you.
OK!
- Let me help you.
- I'm fine.
I insist, let go of it.
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine.
You're very strong.
I have great respect for you.
If you want to help,
you can grind the beans for me.
I'm glad that you're willing to help.
Let me give you a hand.
Harder!
I'm exhausted. Exhausted.
What are you doing?
You're taking advantage of my kindness.
What? You volunteered to help!
I'm a scholar but
I can't find the words to defend myself.
If this starts any rumors,
how can I face anyone again?
I've been taken advantage of,
what should I do?
You'll be in my grasp one day.
The tofu from Yim's is really smooth.
It's smoother than
the skin of the Tofu Beauty.
Friend, did you buy this at Yim's.
You're not local. Did you come here
for the Tofu Beauty as well?
Yes! It's been over ten years.
Are all these people after Wing Chun?
Give me a bowl!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Whose money is that?
Mine, mine.
I'm glad I made this trip.
It's been more than ten years,
do you still recognize me?
Master!
I'm from Fujian.
Did you come all this way just to buy tofu?
Yes.
I've run out of bowls, but I'll get you one.
Don't walk away from me.
You can put it in my hands.
OK.
Master, it's full now.
Great! It smells nice too.
- Tofu Beauty, can I use my hands too?
- OK.
Get out of the way, it's my turn.
Are you really the Tofu Beauty?
They're just fooling around.
Five cents please.
Here is the money.
- Are you tired?
- No, I'm fine.
She has a new lover now.
Thanks.
- Hold me up!
- No problem.
Who are you? Flower thieves?
I'm Scholar Wong.
What are you doing here?
I'm Leong, here to visit the flowers.
A visitor? Might be from the government.
He's a higher rank.
Officer, what are you doing here
at such an hour?
I'm not an officer,
I'm here to visit Wing Chun.
He's one of us.
It's a misunderstanding.
I'll make a move first.
- Goodbye.
- Move!
He's not that stupid. We mustn't lose out.
Quick, don't let him get to her first.
Beautiful.
- Who are you?
- I'm Flying Monkey.
Wing Chun is home so don't be rude.
I'm here to take you to the castle.
It smells nice.
- Yim Neung, what's wrong?
- What happened?
- A bandit came to get me.
- Bandit?
Be reasonable! I came here
to have some fun, not to fight with you.
Wing Chun is my fiance,
touch her and I'll kill you.
I don't want to play with you.
Stop! It's not him.
You hit the wrong guy.
I managed to get your underwear back.
Master! Master!
- Isn't it him?
- No, you got it all wrong.
I think Flying Monkey
had his way with Yim Neung.
Wait for me here.
Last night you risked your life for me.
Why won't you talk to me now?
Tell me please.
Why aren't you talking to me?
I've been learning Kung Fu
so that I can protect you.
I never thought I'd be beaten by your lover.
I'm good for nothing.
Don't get upset.
The person who hurt you last night
isn't my lover.
Not your lover?
Does that mean that I still stand a chance?
Who is he then?
My savior and my boss,
whom I respect a lot.
Your relationship is too complicated for me.
Are you committed to him?
I belong to him.
I don't stand a chance!
I was only joking.
Wing Chun is a woman.
What? Wing Chun has become a woman?
She must have lost her virginity.
She's here, I'll hide.
Hey! Are you hurt?
You're dead. I'll tell Wing Chun
that you're having an affair with a man.
No, you won't.
- Unless you and me...
- Sounds good.
Let's see what's happening inside.
Brother, I'm sorry about last night.
You're too skilful for me.
Don't overrate me!
How should I address you?
I'm a failure.
My name isn't worth mentioning.
Your injury isn't serious
but you might need psychological help.
Since we're both fighters, I'll confide in you.
Someone stole my fiance.
- It always hurts to love.
- I'll give them my blessing.
Wing Chun appreciates your magnanimity.
It's no use Wing Chun appreciating me.
It'd be better if she married me.
What are you talking about?
My feelings.
- I have feelings for you.
- Don't mess about.
If you don't believe me, I'll kill myself.
Don't open the window.
We'll ventilate the room,
it's good for your recovery.
I'll kill myself...
I don't want to die yet.
- It's all flattened.
- I was only joking, you took it for real.
Leave her alone.
Your husband has just died
and you're having an affair.
The whole town is talking
about your infidelity.
You've not only spoiled your own reputation
you've brought shame to the two of us.
Leave it there.
Are all widows so horny?
They go for all kinds of men.
- Do you have a problem with that?
- Don't you agree?
Isn't it true?
Yim Neung, you tell me.
Can't you live without a man?
You're right, I can't!
I'm not as capable as you two.
She is a fighter, you're a businesswoman.
I'm just a useless woman.
My dream in life
is to find a man that loves me.
I'll raise a few children with him.
Our children will look after us
when we're old.
My husband became ill after I married him.
We traveled around looking for a cure.
We sold everything
and used up all the money.
He asked me to leave him,
he didn't want to be a burden to me.
I thought of leaving but ended up
persevering until his last breath.
I think I've been honorable in my marriage.
Maybe she was the black widow
that brought misfortune to her husband.
Aren't you sympathetic?
No!
If I have another chance now, I'll treasure it.
- You're right.
- You agree too?
I have two men in my life now.
One is rich and mature.
The other is brave and adorable.
I'm so troubled, I don't know who to chose.
I can't stand it!
Most men are disgusting!
It's true, they're disgusting.
It's true.
- Are you sure?
- Do you want to try?
- I'm still a virgin.
- Try it once and you'll want more.
I don't want to try!
I knew she'd like it.
Wing Chun, your turn.
- No don't!
- Go for it, it feels nice.
Soon you'll be addicted.
My fellow villagers, the bandits
are now threatening our livelihood.
We're all living in fear.
We'll form a committee to deal with them.
Master Leong, why aren't
you resting in your room?
I'm fine but my heart is still hurting.
You can tell me all your pain.
You're very different
from when we were children.
When we were children?
Yes, we were like a family.
We talked about everything.
You've changed.
You're too beautiful and too precious now.
- Wing Chun, what happened?
- You're mistaken.
We have to punish
those despicable bandits.
- Sex maniac!
- Get lost.
I'm a scholar. Don't you push me!
- A gentleman uses his mouth not his fist.
- I'll use my mouth then.
A gentlemen doesn't use his mouth or fist,
please let go.
Can I use my leg then?
That's not gentlemanly either.
Don't fight with him. Come to
the back yard tonight, I'll explain everything.
Go now!
Be careful, don't trust him.
He's a suspicious character.
Stop fighting, go now.
You're going at the right time
or my brothers would have killed you!
Woman normally prefer new things.
I understand how you feel.
I pity Yim Neung for having no children
but I'm not interested in her.
Crap! We're very similar.
We're greedy and unscrupulous.
You don't have to pretend in front of me.
I don't believe I'll lose to that moron.
- I'll help you.
- You're so considerate, thank you.
But you don't look sincere.
- 100 taels.
- Too expensive.
That price is for a gentleman.
I'll give a scrooge 10 per cent off.
- Result guaranteed?
- Sure. Guarantee of a baby as well.
Deal! 10 taels change please.
Great! I owe you 10 taels.
Yim Neung has arranged to meet that guy
in the back yard tonight.
You can come earlier to her bedroom...
That's not ethical. Where is her room?
The one in the middle. Be careful.
Just like me!
We both want money and sex.
- Wing Chun's going to town for business.
- Really?
- Is it true?
- There she is.
Let's inform the Castle Lord.
We'll get Yim Neung tonight.
Yim Neung, I'm here.
Flying Monkey, trying to abduct Yim Neung?
I've been waiting!
That's great! I'm exhausted.
She's given me something valuable
as an engagement gift as well.
Unfortunately she ate
fermented tofu tonight, though.
Nevertheless, she tasted nice.
I have a gift for you in return.
You can have this.
An old shoe isn't suitable for you.
Give it to me.
Someone's at the front door.
I thought I saw him earlier.
She's given me a symbol of engagement.
You're a bit too late.
One after the other.
I'm on to a loser.
I've taught Flying Monkey a lesson.
- Clean your face first.
- Thank you.
You treacherous duo, come out now.
- Slut, come out.
- Looking for me?
You two, come out now.
The treacherous pair, come out.
- Why did you treat me like that?
- Me?
First you slept with Scholar Wong, now you
sleep with him. Why did you ask me here?
He's not looking for me.
He's here for you.
I didn't sleep with him.
Don't deny it.
I saw him undressing you.
I didn't get undressed.
Still denying it?
I even saw your breast.
Are you trying to kill me to cover the truth?
Wing Chun, you came to Yunnan at the
age of 10, I've missed you ever since.
I came all this way to look for you.
I've been very foolish.
You are so stupid.
The one undressing wasn't me, it was her.
She should get paid for it.
Leong, you're as stupid as a pig.
- You've identified the wrong one, she's...
- Don't tell him.
I know, she's a woman. I apologize.
I'm sorry. Wrong way...
- Are you hurt?
- Did that moron hurt you?
She's not physically hurt.
It's her heart that's hurt.
Why didn't you tell that fool
you're Wing Chun?
What's the use of telling him?
The one he likes isn't Wing Chun.
You're all idiots.
Why is the Castle Lord hurt?
It looks so funny.
You spent your whole life deflowering girls
and now you've been deflowered!
Now you can focus on Kung Fu training.
- Am I right?
- Big brother, you're right.
Who did that to you?
It was a woman. She's called Wing Chun.
I'll settle the situation for you.
Useless bunch. Lost to a woman.
The bandits are here.
Don't be afraid! We're not here to rob,
we're here to buy some gifts.
- Left.
- No, right!
- Left!
- Right!
Castle Lord, where's the tofu shop.
I only come here at night,
I'm lost in the daylight.
- Here!
- Buy from me!
- Look at this.
- Over here!
Here! Here!
- Buy from me!
- Here!
- Why is it so busy?
- Hey!
- Who's he?
- A bandit.
A bandit? Go and hide.
Watch what you buy.
We need to pay for it this time.
Have I damaged your brain?
How dare you come here in broad daylight.
I'm here to buy some wedding gifts,
leave me alone.
Wing Chun, don't spoil our business,
he pays a lot.
He's given us a lot of money, don't blow it.
Buying wedding gifts?
Have you abducted someone's daughter?
- I want Yim Neung.
- How dare you!
He's using your column.
Stop!
You have no right to touch that.
Good. My Cotton Belly normally breaks
a bone or two but you're still standing.
- How's that?
- Good legs, fast and furious.
But my hands were faster,
I blocked all your moves.
- Are you Wing Chun?
- Who are you?
- I'm Flying Chimp.
- Another beast.
It was me who wounded the Monkey,
look for me if you want revenge.
Please.
Vicious! But you're mine.
- Are you married?
- Nonsense!
Great! You need
a powerful man to tame you.
What about a kiss?
Let go of me!
- Wing Chun, help!
- I'll kill you.
Come and fight me tomorrow.
If you win, I'll let her go.
If you lose, you'll be my wife.
- Let's go.
- Wing Chun, help!
Not the marrying type?
- The tigress has been attacked!
- She's all red in anger.
Buy more next time.
- Help!
- Wing Chun.
Wing Chun.
Leong, please help me.
- Wing Chun.
- Help.
The Traveling Kick!
Remember to come to the castle tomorrow,
I'll be waiting for you!
Master Leong!
Pak Tou!
- Pak Tou, catch a cricket for me please.
- OK, catch up.
Wing Chun.
Hey! He's calling for you.
Wing Chun, can't you hear?
He's looking for you.
He wasn't calling for me.
He's only talking in his sleep.
Are you stupid or what?
Why did you give Leong the Nine-Magic pill.
I was there when Sifu gave it to you.
You should have sought my consent.
That pill could fetch 200 taels of silver.
That jerk won't be your man.
Why are you saving him?
Are you out of your mind?
I'm going to save Yim Neung.
Why should you save your love rival?
Yim Neung and I are friends,
she didn't mean to hurt me.
Maybe that's what we call fate.
Even if I don't get married
I must act righteously.
Come what may, I'll still have you.
I've lost my virginity,
I'm not a spinster any more.
I've found someone to rely on.
Didn't you say men are disgusting?
Being without a man is even more
disgusting. I don't want to end up alone.
I'm sorry.
Congratulations.
Wing Chun, don't risk your life.
Why are you up so soon?
Do you know you've taken
I know. Where are the bandits?
Be careful,
we have no more Nine-Magic pills!
You go back.
You haven't fully recovered yet.
I'll go to the castle to save Wing Chun.
I'll tell her your good intentions.
I can't let you go alone.
I'm sorry about that night.
I didn't mean to peep.
Don't bring that up again.
OK. I feel that Wing Chun has changed.
She's not the Wing Chun I used to know.
You're her friend, you'd know that
she was forced to marry before.
When she was 17.
The villagers called her Tofu Beauty as well.
There was a bandit who liked her
and forced her to marry him.
To avoid marrying him,
she followed a Sifu to learn Kung Fu.
The Sifu said she could learn Kung Fu
to avoid marrying the bandit,
but she will also scare away
any other marriage proposal.
Eventually she decided to learn Kung Fu
so as not to marry the bandit.
One decision can change your fate forever.
But Wing Chun
has never regretted her decision.
- Why are you staring at me?
- You seem to be talking about yourself.
Wing Chun is my only confidante.
She tells me everything.
Did she tell you that
we used to catch crickets together?
- She isn't Wing Chun, you...
- Stop guessing.
She is an exquisite beauty,
you'll like each other.
You can take her away.
Don't you know that
you're the Wing Chun I dream about?
- I'm not.
- You're Wing Chun.
I'm not.
- You are.
- I'm not.
- You are.
- I'm not.
You're Wing Chun!
Yes, I'm Wing Chun, don't stress yourself.
I'm overjoyed! I've finally found you.
Wing Chun, finding you
is worth every drop of blood I've lost.
The arrival of the Castle Lord.
Thank you!
Come in. Faster.
- Congratulations!
- Thank you.
- What a celebration!
- Gorgeous! This way, please.
Thank you! Thank you!
Castle Lord, I have something to ask you.
How did you two meet?
You all know. I abducted her!
The couple should kiss first.
- Why did you hit me?
- I couldn't stand the sight of it.
What has it got to do with me?
Let's start the ceremony.
Let's kowtow.
Down.
Done! Bedtime.
The bananas are all smashed, the bride
and groom will have many children.
I've lost my manhood,
how can I have lots of children?
Brother, at least your dream
has been fulfilled.
Castle Lord, I'm like a brother to you,
I can help you make children.
I'm willing to help too.
I've been in the castle for two years,
I'm yet to smell a woman.
Listen.
This woman is bait
to lure Yim Wing Chun.
I want to tame that wild horse.
Do you want to see Big Brother having fun?
Big Brother, what about me?
Shut up and have a drink with the others.
Serve the food.
He's sleeping with his eyes open
Keep sleeping, shithead.
- Who hit my wife?
- Go back to sleep.
This wine is superb,
even the scarecrows are moving now.
Let's drink up.
What the hell are you drinking?
Wing Chun, I'm the only one in the castle
who couldn't drink and couldn't sleep.
It's all your fault. Get her!
Let's go.
Go and save Yim Neung.
OK.
How do you feel?
Great!
Good morning.
Wing Chun, Pak Tou!
Stupid Chimp, let her go!
- Don't worry, Yim Neung.
- I'm not interested in her.
- Are you OK?
- I'm fine. What about you?
I'm fine too.
You two go first.
Not so easy.
Get me the Champion spear.
If you can extract the spear in three moves,
I'll let them go.
If you can't do it, you have to
stay here to keep me company.
OK, deal.
The spear is under my feet, come and get it.
I'll be gentle.
Kung Fu is not a verbal sport. Come on.
You're a bit slow.
If you surrender, I'll let them go.
I am being kind but you've became arrogant.
Let's finish the three moves
then you'll shut up.
- It's worth it.
- Take another blow.
I can pull the spear out anytime now.
- I'll push it further in, you won't get it out.
- Thank you!
Well done!
Well done!
Shut up! Are you happy that I lost?
Good stuff! I enjoyed fighting you.
Don't say I'm not kind to you. We'll fight
again in three days. Release them.
Wing Chun, thank you.
Wing Chun!
Are you all right?
- I have an internal injury.
- Where are you going?
I'm going to my Sifu.
Is she seriously hurt?
After you have eaten the Nine-Magic pill,
you'll feel fine.
Sifu!
A soft tongue stays in the mouth.
A tooth breaks because it's hard.
I'm not as soft nor as tough as Chimp.
How can I beat him?
A tree is a thousand feet tall.
Fallen leaves return to the roots.
Wing Chun, your life isn't complete.
Go and get married.
CLOSED FOR THE DAY
They're closed for the day.
Maybe Wing Chun has become
the Mistress of the Castle.
You'll get an eye infection
staring like that. Yim Neung.
You're out of breath.
You might drop dead at any time!
Go and die.
Why didn't you tell me you were back?
What do you think I am?
Did the bandits have their way with you?
She isn't a lady any more.
She could do with some tenderness.
The bandits were only using me
as bait to lure Wing Chun out.
I trust you, Yim Neung,
but the villagers are not so kind.
Our wedding will have to be very low profile.
Why don't you come with me?
We'll marry when the rumors die down.
Yim Neung is getting married to Wong.
You can't force a marriage.
You saw what happened the other night.
We're husband and wife now.
Look, I even have an engagement pendant.
I have no such valuable pendant.
- Look here.
- My shoe.
I've been waiting all this time
for your proposal.
It was you!
I want my chastity back!
I'll kill myself by banging on this table!
What's done is done. Don't cry.
I'll take responsibility for you.
Is he overexcited?
He's counting my fortune.
I never knew that you were so rich.
Since I've lost my chastity,
I'll marry you, golden chicken.
I'll be your wife, golden tortoise.
- Do you know his worth?
- I've done my homework.
- Congratulations to the wealthy pair.
- Thank you.
Pak Tou!
Who's Pak Tou?
- Where is he?
- I'm Pak Tou.
I'm delivering a letter from Wing Chun.
I've come a long way, I'm very hot.
May I have a bowl of tofu?
No problem, please be seated.
The letter...
Wing Chun, you're really cruel.
Why are you reading my letter?
- Give it to me.
- It's mine. She's leaving me.
- I thought Wing Chun had a letter for me?
- Yes, word of mouth.
Look at his stupid face.
Luckily I have you.
How is that? Isn't the message
sweeter than tofu dessert?
I've packed your clothes,
I've also packed for Wing Chun.
Thank you.
I made this suit for you.
Thank you. It's very nice.
Gowns should be new,
friends should be old.
I give you and Wing Chun all my blessings.
Maybe he's in love with Yim Neung.
That's why he's not here.
He's not coming, I'd better leave.
- You're here?
- Why were you hiding up the tree?
I was so anxious I came last night.
When I woke up, you were here. Great!
You're such a scatterbrain.
Let's go!
Are you feeling sick?
Let me support you.
Ma'am, may we take a break here?
Wing Chun, I'm going to pick tea leaves,
please make yourselves comfortable.
Thank you.
Are you feeling better?
We'll have a break here.
It's your fault. I've taken a Nine-Magic pill.
I can't get excited.
Are you affected by me?
- Are you teasing me?
- I wouldn't dare.
So many mosquitoes.
Get off me!
You're dead now,
where else can you fly to?
Now I understand Sifu's message.
I can apply Wing Chun Impetuous
to counter Chimp's Cotton Belly.
- Let's have another fight with the Chimp.
- If you lose, I'll suffer.
I won't lose. I...
Unless we get married first.
Your knees are too powerful.
You're hurting me.
Who told you to be so rude?
I reacted instinctively.
If you can, pull your hand out.
I have a move to counter you.
- Stop tickling me!
- Got you now.
- You're too rough.
- Use your knees again!
Don't be rash, I'll be out soon.
Give me a shout if you need help.
I'll come in and save you.
Wing Chun, hit him where it hurts.
No one has ever slipped
through my fingers yet.
When someone needs a lesson from me,
I'm sure to show up.
- If you lose...
- If I lose, I'll call you Mum.
Great. Good boy.
Are you insulting me? Choose your weapon.
Eight Chops Sabers.
How can two little sabers
fight my long and thick spear?
You'll definitely be my mistress now.
You don't deserve it.
You're more suited to being my son.
The longer the better!
The shorter the sharper!
It's no use having a long weapon.
Stop.
It's between me and her,
the rest of you get lost.
Wing Chun Impetuous.
Go take a ride.
Have another trip!
Just a few days and
your Kung Fu has improved.
That's not all. I haven't used
the impressive moves yet.
Cotton Belly!
Belly Buster!
Impetuous Chain!
Is Cotton Belly broken?
Perhaps you can call me Mum now.
Go with the flow.
Call me Mum?
One more kick.
Have a nice trip.
You're very persistent.
My hands are numb now.
Let's call it quits.
Master, are you all right?
Even thieves should have morals.
How can you attack her from behind?
Apologize.
- Brother, you...
- Apologize!
Mum, I'm sorry.
Mum, was I right?
Yes, good boy.
Bid farewell to the mother of all thieves.
It's all right.
You all have to stop being thieves.
Yes! Mother of all thieves.
Wing Chun.
I'm so very happy!
- Stand up! Let's get out of here.
- I'm ecstatic.
I was so worried for you
but I knew that you'd win.
When are we marrying?
Time to celebrate.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you.
We finally got rid of
the leftover merchandise.
And sold it to a good buyer as well.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Yim Neung, you must settle down soon.
Don't worry, I won't be a tofu seller forever.
Be more feminine.
Thank you.
Congratulations.
You are made for each other.
Thank you!
Wing Chun, I give you my best wishes.
You'll have lots of children
and be together for eternity.
What a change!
You talk so sweetly now.
It's nothing. When one is happily married,
one looks sweeter, one sounds sweeter too.
We should get going now,
it'll be the lucky hour soon.
Right, if we miss the lucky hour...
- Enough, let's go.
- Let's.
Thank you.
"Who's the one you love?"
"Who's the one that hurt you?"
"Who's asking you to be in his arms?"
"Who cares about your dreams?"
"Who understands your plight?"
"Who touches your heart?"
"If a woman always waits
for you till late at night"
"Not regretting her youth passing her by"
"She's devoted her life to you"
"A woman falls in love easily
and is emotionally fragile"
"A woman never knows
how low she can fall"
"For a woman, love is her soul"
"She could devote her life
to someone she loves"