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Witches of Oz, The (2011)
Ages ago, our world
was full of magic. Wizards, witches and fantastic beings... roamed the land. The pure at hear! were the guardians of the greatest magic. They practiced their arts for the good of all.. Bu! in time, some humans would learn to harness magic for darker purposes, seeking to oppress and dominate the world. And, as the y grew powerful, the y sought to posses and control all magic, waging war on all who knew if. The fantastic creatures that remained were hunted until the y were all but exterminated, and their power stolen- The world grew dark. The greatest of the grand wizards of the munchkins, Bini Aru, collected all the magic that remained and harnessed its power into s final spell. His magic book contained but a single phrase, the Changing Word. And with the forces of darkness and evil closing in... he used the power of the word to create a new realm... a world that would be a refuge for those hunted by humanity, a place called Oz. Terrified of the awesome power that he had created, Bini Aru vowed never to use the word again. And so he locked the book and entrusted it to the guardians of the City of Emeralds. He ensured that he would never be tempted to speak the word again. And so the book sat safely in Oz for many years, but not all the darkness of our world was left! behind. The witches of the East and West knew of the book. They'd witnessed its power and they lusted for it. It corrupted them and they became completely wicked. They turned many in Oz to darkness and plunged the peaceful land into a long and horrible war. Overwhelmed and near defeat, Oz's great leader, the Wizard, had little choice. Her army has us surrounded. It is only a matter of time. The Book of Bini Aru would be the price for peace. Don't do this. We have no choice. Where is it? Nice to see you, too. No trickery, wizard! Give me the book! Take it. Leave this place. The key. Where is the key? Cold and dull. Just like yesterday. All right, Toto. I'm off to work. See you at six. Good morning, ladies. "'Hang on, Toto,' Dorothy cried. "l think we're gonna land soon. "And then, with a great crash, "the house landed." "And the roof and the floor shook. "Dorothy and Toto slowly opened the front door, "And they found that they were in a very strange place, - with purple trees and orange grass." - Ooh! "'No one's ever done that to a witch before,' said Glinda. "'You must be a very powerful witch yourself] "l'm not a witch, I'm Dorothy,' she replied. "'Well then, being a Dorothy is a very good thing indeed,' "said Glinda as she pointed to the sliver slippers, "still on the Wicked Witch's feet." And that's where we will leave off this time. I'll be back next week and we'll continue to read, OK? - Enjoy. - Oh, thanks. - Hey, guys. - Hey, Rick. Dorothy, got a letter for ya. It's addressed to your house, but I knew you'd be here. - Thanks, Rick. - So, listen, guys, we're all going down to Todd Zebarsky's step-dad's house later, a little barn party. Gonna crack a couple of beers, crank the tunes in my new truck. You guys wanna come down? I'll see you later, Rick. Right, I'll talk to ya. - I'll see you later, Rick. - I'll call. I can't believe it. What? I entered our book to this writing contest online. - And we won? - No! We didn't even make it to third place. - Oh... - But, this is from an agency in New York. They have a deal to publish our books. They just want me to sign here so they can represent us. Come on. Wow. It says here they want us to come to New York right away. This is all expenses paid. There's two plane tickets in here! - First class! - I know! Oh, my God! This is amazing! This is amazing! This is the best news ever! No, it isn't. We can't go! Well... Why Dorothy, this is an amazing opportunity. I mean... I can%leave. Uncle Henry needs me. Well, he can... he can come with. I mean, we... we got one more ticket. Yeah. Henry Gale leave that house? Leave Kansas. I don't think so. Dorothy, at least... ...ask him. I mean, to come with, or, or... ...at least you can go. I've been thinking. It's time. For what? For you to leave the nest. Uncle Henry. But what about you? Me? It's not a good idea to talk people into something that you don't want. You better start packing. You, too, Toto. Toto, you're gonna love New York. I just know it. I'm just looking for a picture of us for you to take. Thunder and silk. Is that a good one? Yeah, it is. I wish she was here. She knew how to pack better than me. Are you sure you don't wanna come with me? What, and leave all this? There's gonna be a good harvest under that snow. I feel it in my bones. You need to take care of yourself. I've been to New York. I got mugged. - Uncle Henry... - No, I got mugged. That was in the 70s. - They cleaned it up. it's nice now. - Hello. - Hey! - Hey, Dot. - Mr. Gale! - You want some coffee, Allen? No, no, no. I already had three cups this morning. I'm good. Is that why you're so fidgety? I'm fidgeting 'cause I'm nervous. Yeah, I know. But this is an exciting, new adventure! Yeah, yeah, I know. Exciting's the word. So is "scary." So is "terrifying." Yeah, I'm scared too, but don't tell him. Oh, yeah. Right. Richard, I said 21 percent. Uh-huh. Five percent back end. Thank you. Ciao. Woo! Ow! Oh, oh, hello. - Dorothy Gale? - That's me. Billie Westbrook. Great to finally meet you. - Oh, my gosh. Miss Westbrook. - Wow. I had no idea you were coming in person. I give all my clients very personal attention. Well, that's great. Oh, this is Allen. - Hi. - Oh, yes. - The artiste. - Yes, yes. - Very talented. - Thank you. - I have notes. - Oh. Oh, and this is my Uncle Henry. Hi. All right, so are we ready to go? Yes! Let's get our stuff. - Chop chop! - Oh, yeah. We'll be right there. Well, I'm impressed, doggone it. How's that? I never expected a big city woman would be clever enough to wear her work boots out to the country. Not exactly work boots, but I do what I can. You gonna take care of my little girl? Of course. Dorothy's very... special. Oh, you don't know the half of it. Hmm. Got all your things? Bye. Love you. - Bye-bye, sweetheart. - Bye. I'll call you as soon as we land, I promise. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Come on, don't wanna miss your flight. Oh, and your little dog, too. Who's not so little. - The apartment takes pets, right? - Of course. Dorothy, everything's gonna be fine. Come on. Well, here we are. Oh, it's not much, but it's what we could throw together last minute. Oh! It's amazing! Wow. So, I'll let you get your things settled. And then dinner and drinks, tonight? It's a dream. Beg your pardon? Huh? Oh, drinks will be great. Perfect. All right, Allen, you're around the corner. OK. I'll call you later. OK, let me know how your place is. Right. Gosh. The drinks at this restaurant cost more than anything I own. All right, what shoes? What do you think? Brown. OK. Pretty, pretty. What is it? Can't you see we're busy? Apologies, your Highness. I have an urgent message... from Her! I'll just be a minute. You're looking fabulous, by the way. Where is it? Oh, pretty colors. Pack my things. We're going to a huge, magical place. A land of wonder and mystery. A place where men roam free and darkness rules. But we just unpacked all your stuff. Any more bright ideas? N- no. Good. We leave tonight. Yes. Sorry I'm late. It took forever to hail a cab. That's OK. They said even with reservations it's an hour wait. Please. Westbrook. Party of two. Miss Westbrook. I had no idea. Right this way. He's cute. Not as cute as that guy at the bar. - Billie! - Oh, he's not bad. - Did you catch the Ferragamos? - The who? The shoes. Excuse us, excuse us. Here we are. Martini, dry, two olives. Your waiter will be around to take the order. Oh, and no water. Bottled or tap. Last time I was here, the busboy almost spilled it on my $1200 purse. Why drink water when you can have vodka? - No, look at me, I'm talking to you. - Oh. - Do not be rude. - I wasn't. - No, you were. - I didn't think so. You were. Hey, Dorothy, now's your chance. Yes, you are. And I think you should apologize. You've been talking for a long time. - Oh, no I haven't. - It feels long. Oh, you're rude. He's not following her. What do I say? I've never just walked up to a guy. You say, "Hi, I'm Dorothy. " That's it. Pressure's all on him. I don't want to appear desperate. I am kind of desperate. No, no. You're just- You're just new in town. You need to meet some new friends, meet some people. Especially friends who wear Armani. If it makes you feel any better, pretend you recognize him. - That works? - All the time. - Go. - OK. I... think I know you. - Excuse me? - I... - ...do know you. - Really? Yeah,I do. At first, I thought it was a cheesy pick up line. Not that I'm trying to pick you up, 'cause that sounds really sleazy. - Ah, hello. - Hello Thank you. Anyway, when you looked at me I realized I do know you. - I just can't figure out how. - Really? - Thanks. - Let me grab your change. - No, that's fine. - But it's a hundred. Yeah, I know. You don't ring a bell. Take care. Hi, I'm Dorothy Gale. What kind of guy just shoots down a cute girl like that? - it's beyond me. - Yeah. I'm... cute, right? - The cutest. - Thank you. You know, I couldn't have made this move out here without your help. I knew we'd make a great team the moment I read your first book. Trust me on that. You know, this city gets lonely. If you ever need anything, just give me a call. OK? - Mm-hm. - Now get up there and finish the last book. - The ending is always the toughest part. - Oh, it should be easy. It's a classic story. Good defeats evil. The way the world should be. Instead of the way it... sometimes is. Dorothy, sweet girl, that's what makes you so special. All right, have a good night, OK? Good night. Where to? That's a nice neighborhood. I need a ride, not a conversation. You're the boss, sweetie. Help! Help! Are you OK? He took my... he took my purse! That's OK, it's just a purse. it's all right. You OK? I'm... fine. I think I'm OK. - Hey, you're the... - I'm Nick. My name is Nick. I was gonna say you're the jerk from the bar. Yeah, I know. But I just saved your life, so... ...can we call it even? - OK. - Good. What're you doing here? I just live two doors down. It's a coincidence, eh? Maybe. Maybe? Would you like to go out some time? - Maybe we could get a coffee or a... - Yes. I haven't finished the options. I didn't need to hear them. OK. Give me a call. I will. Well, I'll stand guard while you go in. Make sure you get in safe. Thank you. Uh, wait. I didn't get your name. Dorothy. Dorothy Gale. Good night, Dorothy Gale. This definitely ain't Kansas, Toto. Dorothy, you forgot something. Here, come on. Ow! Quiet! I can hear- Hold on to the dog. Forget about the dog. Keep going. - Forget about the dog? Are you kidding me? -Shh! You're a good dog. You're a good dog. Just wait until they're both asleep and try this again. Toto! It's early. "Dorothy set out on a newjourney. " "Dorothy..." "Dorothy... " No, it's not a new journey. "Dorothy hid the key in the land of the Gilikins. " No, why would she do that? "Dorothy... Dorothy... " What is wrong with me? Why can 'I I do this? Is it the traffic? The traffic's so loud. "Dorothy knew w that the Wicked Witch would fry to follow her. " How would she know that? Oh, shoot! Billie, are you sure I can't finish? I mean, aren't Hollywood people always late? I mean, isn't there even a phrase called "Hollywood time"? There is, they are. We aren't. That's why we win. - 53rd and 5th. - What's in the bags? I took the liberty of picking out something a tad more appropriate for today's meeting. - I dressed up today. - I know, dear. Here, put this on. Oh, don't worry, he's a professional. Good afternoon. The LA office called. It's a pass on the sponsorship deal. Fine. We just need to nail this meeting. Simon also called. Ms. Lang wants to meet at her place. Oh, actresses. I hate not being on home turf. Where? - Central Park West. - Fine. Reservations for dinner are set. Gilikins at seven. If all goes well. Good morning, everyone. How are we today? - Great! - Good, good, good, good... - Do you have those release forms? - They're done. - I need the forms. - I have them. I've got two of those. - You've been on it for two weeks. - You won't believe it. Oh, Amy, I'm tired of cabs. Bring the car around. Done. Oh, and Dorothy, I read the latest manuscript last night. it was brilliant. Well, thank you, Amy. Ass-kissing alert. She can't fire you. I can. Looking great today, Billie. Better. - Hello? - The release forms... Dorothy, I'm sorry to call your mobile phone. Cell phones, Uncle Henry. What's going on? That SOB from the bank, he sent a realtor over here with more people. - I've got three of those. - Sorry, you're breaking up. The SOB from the bank, he sent another realtor over here with more people. Quiet. Be sure to show them that weak part of the floor upstairs. And the downstairs bathroom. Yeah, and I'm fine, Uncle Henry. We have this big meeting and hopefully this will be it. - Hi. - Billie's really great and we 're meeting this Hollywood actress today. She wants to be in our movie. Isn't that amazing? I believe in you, Dorothy. I love you, Uncle Henry. I love you. Bye. The house has been in foreclosure for about six months. - You seen my cat? - No. Can you tell me what used to be out there? Oh, I'm glad you asked. It used to be a barn. And a tornado destroyed it in 1899. They rebuilt it. And another twister came along in 1992 and took that one out. I was there for that one. Big, scary twister. Winds were so strong, it tore the trees out by the roots. It took a bird and shoved it right through the chimney. Unbelievable. We get a lot of those out here. Really? How many do you get a year? - Ohh-ho-ho. - Have you folks seen that new mall just off the interstate? Well, it should be finished this year. - Open in time for Christmas. - Watch your step. The floors are kind of rotted out over here. What? Here, kitty, kitty. - Follow my lead. - Got it. - And use drawings. They like pictures. - Me, too. Brian, this isn't a real estate deal in Kansas. - Just sit there and try to look serious. - Got it. I'm nervous. Good. it'll keep you on your toes. Just don't let your hands get too sweaty. - Sweaty. - Here. - Thank you. - Let me take a look at you. - An... - on, hey! What? Sex it up a little. It's a children's book. Whatever. - Come on. - She knows best. Are you coming, Dorothy? This way. She really moves fast. - Oh! hang on! - Hey. - Oh, wow. thanks. - Did you finish them? - Yeah. - Even the new one with the Nome King? - I did, but I forgot it. - Oh, that's OK. - Yeah. - That's typical. It's a bit early for cocktails, don't you think, dear? I'm still on LA time. It's 9 am in LA. So, how many films do you envision? Well, there are six books. And I'm currently working on the s... The seventh manuscript will be done shortly. - About a week? - Are there any rights issues? Oh, no. The original stories owned by Dorothy's grandfather are public domain, so... rights to sequels, new versions, are 100 percent hers. Blah, blah, blah. I hate business talk. Oh, me too. So what does Dorothy wear? Well, actually, Dorothy... I think she should wear something flashy. You know, like a trademark? Sexy. Yeah. Dorothy... in the story, she's-she's 11. I'm seeing, like, black leather pants or... A tank top and a motorcycle jacket. Eleven year olds, they're- they're not sexy. Yes, but I look really good in tight leather things, so... Right, but, Dorothy would never wear a leather jacket. She's a little girl. Billie, I thought she was playing one of the witches? I'm sorry. Me, me a witch? No, I don't think so. You see, witches are really old. And decrepit and disgusting. I mean, with the pointed hats and the brooms, and the- Ooh, no. No. Actually, in the drawings, we didn't draw her, like, with the hat. - it's too clich. - So, what do you think of the stories? I think it's fabulous. She wasn't asking you. So, how does it end? I haven't started that yet. Honestly, I- I don't know. The ending is very important. Yes. Yes, yes, I know. And it'll be done very soon. it's that I have a bit of... writer's block since I just moved to the big city - a few weeks ago. - Hmm. It's a great view, isn't it? Yes. Yes, yes, it's a beautiful view. So, when Dorothy gets back to Kansas, where does she hide the key? I'm sorry. What? Well, she steals the key from the Wizard and comes back to Kansas, right? Yes, but that's part of the new manuscript that I've been working on. The thing is, I- I haven't shown that to anyone. How did you know? Martini? You can set that down anywhere. OK. Do you really think it went well? Yeah. I mean, other than the sexy 11 year old bit. Right? What was that all about? - She wants to ruin our book. - Yeah, no kidding. Whatever. - We just need the deal. - Is that what you want? Yeah, sure, I don't care. More paychecks for everyone, right? And I can buy the farm from my Uncle Henry and then just... move on to something that's more me. And that would be..? I'm not sure. But, Billie's got some great ideas. Mm, yes. Billie. Oh, come on. Why don't you like her? Um... she's mean, she's pushy, she never remembers my name. That's because she's a New Yorker. That's how they are. Oh. Cold, shallow, heartless? Oh, that's because she's an agent. Ah. I see. Billie is... ...amazing. I couldn't have done any of this without her. Sometimes I even wish I was her. Especially today. I was so nervous. My hands were sweating. I think you're great just the way you are. Well, thank you. - Now you gotta get outta here, 'cause I gotta get ready. - What? I thought we were getting a pizza? Sorry. Tomorrow, I promise. Billie's taking me out for drinks. OK, then. Tomorrow. You know, just... so you know, this is the fifth time you've canceled on me in, like, the last two weeks. Fourth. Saturday, remember? Movies with Allen became drinks with Billie. - The gallery opening. - You're right. I'm so sorry. It won't happen again, I promise. You will, but that's OK. Toto, I don't know how you put up with her. - Oh, shoot! - I'm going, I'm going. I'm going. Where's the key, Dorothy? I'm sorry. I- I thought that was the plan. Finally, we got her. After all these years of searching. And you go and wreck everything! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Oh, no matter. Ooh, does this mean I can change? - Oh, by all means. - Yes! Wretched little freak! Maybe I should go redhead today. Or maybe a blond. Oh, no, wait. Say whatever you want. She's close to telling us. I can feel it. I know. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Could you be any louder? I'm being quiet. Just do it. Remember. No! Not too much! Remember. Remember, Dorothy. - Remember. - Re... No, no, no! Give me the book! You must agree to never fetch it back. You have my word. You can't do this! I already have. Let her go. You can't let her do this. Take it. I must protect the city. Where 's the key?! Thats it. So, last night I figured out the ending. The ending to this entire thing. - Do you want some coffee? - Oh, yes, please. So, in the last book, the Wicked Witch surrounds the City of Emeralds, right? And she demands the Munchkin book because it has the Changing Word. Munchkins are little critters, right? Yeah. They're the little guys. Gnomes are little, too. But the Munchkins have the book. Refresh me on the book again. So, the book is this colossal tome. It's the weight of the world right between your hands. But the secret is, it contains one word. Just one. The Changing Word. How many of those have you had? - What? - Yeah. Here. In order to cast a spell in Oz, you need an enchanted object, or a potion. - Like the silver slippers? - Exactly! But the Changing Word is powerful by itself. You don't need a magic wand or slippers. Changing Word, what does it do? Ah, the munchkin, Bini Aru, used it to create Oz. It has the power to transform anything with a single word. It can turn a desert into an ocean. Or turn a city into dust. It's the ultimate power. The ultimate weapon. - Wow! - Yeah, "wow." So, the Wizard betrays the good witches in order to save the City of Emeralds. - He gives her the book. - So the witch gets the book, destroys Oz. That's not the feel good ending I was looking for. No, no. The Wicked Witch pledges to call off the attack on Oz. And the Wizard promises never to battle against the Wicked Witch. But she still has the book? Yeah, but the book is locked with a magic key. Dorothy steals the key. She then returns to Kansas, where she's far, far away from the Witch's power. I like it. I'm gonna get to work on some concepts right away. So... does Dorothy ever go back to Oz? You know, more sequels? No. She never goes back. Once you leave Oz, it... slips away from your memories. Dorothy forgets she was ever there. But if the price is right, she might remember more for another book, right? Would you knock it off? - I like it. - You do? I love it, actually. - Come here. - Oh. I'm just so glad we're finally finished. Now we can move forward with our plans. Yes, that's great. I'm so relieved. And who would've thought the key the whole time was in Kansas. Billie, Simon's called three times today already. He said you mentioned the first draft. It could be a deal today if Ilsa likes it. Can I send it? Yeah. Great. Call Simon back. Tell him to check his email. Gotta run. Date. - With who? - Restaurant guy. Wait a second. How did that happen? He saved my life. I got mugged. - What? Are you OK? - Yeah, no big deal. - How do I look? - Hm... - Cute shoes. - Thank you. They shred my feet. The cute ones always do. - Yeah. - Hey. You done a great thing, Dorothy Gale. Your little books may change this world. One, please. I never knew there was a zoo here. It's a real zoo. I was in Kansas, you know. Really? Maybe I did see you once before. Mm. Not unless you worked at the airport Cinnabon. It was just a layover. You know, before this trip, I'd never even been on a plane before. - Seriously? - Mm-hm. I grew up on a farm outside of Scott City, and I went to college in Sterling. Sol never really had a reason to leave Kansas. What about you? Born and bred in Scotland. Moved to New York. I now work in commodities trading. Metals, mainly. Pretty boring, huh? No, not at all. I normally say "ninja." I should've said ninja. Hello? Dorothy, we have to talk about your mom and dad. They're not coming back, are they? No... no, sweetie, they're not. I didn't mean to startle you. Who are you? And how did you get into my house? I teleported, of course. Took a little sip of puff-puff juice and Ding! Listen, if you're from the bank... Bank? I don't think so. I can't get over how you've grown. Such a pretty face. If you're not leaving, I'm calling the police. I'm glad I didn't take your head when you were little. I'd have missed out. Quite fancy, the way you've developed. Langwidere! No. Impossible. Impossible? Because you and your lackeys and that horrible Princess Ozma locked me in a tower for 100 years? Impossible! Because you're not real! I made you up! You are a figment of my imag... Does that feel imaginary to you? Is this make believe? OK, now, my instructions were very simple. "Idiot-proof" I believe is the term she used. You are gonna give me the key to the Book of Bini Aru. The key that's been hidden in this dreadful house all these years. Easy, right? Here! Over here! Not bad. Still not as tough as I remember. Now, where is the key? I don't know. Oh, come on, Dorothy. Just tell me where it is or I'm gonna take your head. - I don't know! - Wrong answer. Stop, please! I don't know. I can't remember! Aww, that's not gonna save you. Can I ask you something? Do you do something special with your hair? Conditioners or oil treatments? I just wanna keep that silky look. My room! I think it might be in my old room. Look what I got. Okay, so she handed it over. No hassle. She's not as sassy as she used to be. A little whiny, actually. That's not good. Wait, wait. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. It's not my fault. Where is she? I knocked her out. I gave her some huff-huff juice and I put her to bed in her apartment. Once again, You have ruined everything. It's really not that big of a deal. I gave her the oblivion juice. She won't remember. I hope she doesn't. Tuesday. Hello! It's Allen! You missed me! Leave a message. Hey, Allen. it's me. Can you call me back? Call me back. Bye. Don't heat me up. How do you know what this is? We use it to cook burritos. How are you talking? What are you? You know, it's possible that we might get to know each other a little better if you let me out of here. Free him, you giant... - ...monstrosity! - I got it! Cheese. What do you say? Who you looking at? Wow, those are creepy little buggers, aren't they? They won't talk. They just recite these silly little limericks. There was a bright wizard named Allen. Who consumed amber ale by the gallon. - When under his spell... - Be quiet! - Hm? Excuse me? - What? What are you...? - Come again? - Did you call Billie? Twice. No answer. - Did you call pest control? - There was a ridiculous rat. - Who was quite puffy and fat. - Hey! He dined on a shallot. - They do that a lot? - For the past hour. It didn't agree with the cat. - Hey. - Hey, thanks for coming. I need as many witnesses as possible for this. For what? Hey. Nick. Hey, Nick. Cool puppets. Your puppets bite? They're not puppets. They're little... - ...little... - Muckadoos. - Muckadoos! - Muckadoos? - Mucka-whos? - Muckadoos. See, I got the general look right. Their noses are smaller and I didn't draw those ridiculous outfits. - Pardon me? - Easy. Those are ridiculous outfits. - You wanna go? - Settle down. You're right. They're real. Muckadoos are real. - We're discovered. - it's hopeless. Say nothing. - There's no point. - She'll vaporize us. "She" who? Langwidere. No! No, please don't say her name! - She's horrible! - Who's Langwidere? - Why did she send you here? - It was s simple plan, really. - Nothing much. - Give her a bit of memory dust. - Just a tiny bit, every night. But not too much. - No, no. - Give even a little bit too much would... - Fry your brain! Don't wanna do that, no. - Where is it? - What? Say again? Oh! Right. "it." Where is it? - Do you have it? No. - No. - I don't have it. - Oh, maybe I do. Wait. - No. Yep. - Do you? Yeah. it's... just here on my wee belt. That was good, both together. Let's hear that. Do it again, do it again. Both together. that was a good one. I didn't say anything. When the time is right, the key will work. - Take it. - Where's the key?! Put it in a safe place. - Come on, Dorothy, just tell me where it is. - I don't know! If you go back, you'll forget! - I can't remember! - You'll forget all about us. It was all real. It was all real. - It was all real. - Wait, wait, wait. I hate to be the voice of reason here, which might be difficult, considering present company, but... seem a little outlandish? These stories always came to me in dreams. Visions. It was real. - It is real. - Now I really think my life is dull. - Nick, can you do me a favor? - Sure. Watch these two? Keep an eye on them? We have this meeting. - Oh, the meeting! - We gotta go! I'll explain everything when I get back, I promise. You will? - Let's go. - Oh, good. Explain everything. No need. Memory dust. Witches. Drunk pygmies, dressed as court jesters. I think I get it. That's great. You really figured that one out, didn't ya, ya wee little man? Ah, finally. They're here. - You're late. - Apologies. I tried calling. We were just talking about the deal. I'm in. Great. What's the matter, Dorothy? Second thoughts? - No. - Good. Because I always get what I want. Just a second. - Dorothy! - What?! I'll explain in the cab! Dorothy! Dorothy! Where are you going? No, I can't meet with you right now. I'm... pet sitting. Yeah, yeah. Look, I don't know why we need a meeting anyway. - You know what? - What? I don't know why everybody wants to think outside the box. Because where I'm sitting in here right now, I actually find it easy to think inside the box. I think it's a latch. I... I have... Look, I'll call you later. Why does everybody say get out of the box? - Go for the eyes. - What are you Muppets laughing at? What are you doing in there? Oh, yeah. Watch yourself. Look out. Yeah, baby! Eat my pixie dust! - You wanna roll him up in the carpet? - Really? - Yeah! - Thelma and Louise? - Sure. - Come on. Dorothy? What's gotten into you? I'll explain everything later. Just keep those two busy. - Sure. Do we have a deal? - Yeah, yeah, whatever. Excuse me. Are you Dorothy Gale, the writer? - Yes, I am. - Can I have your autograph? - My daughter loves your books. - Oh, yes, of course. Bryan, when you finish, come back to my place. - What's her name? - Glinda. Glinda. There you go. - Thank you. - You're welcome. Billie, this will all make sense, I promise. I'm so sorry. - Has she been drinking? - No. Memory dust. Aw, come on! They escaped! I'm calling Nick. Toto, quiet. And they took your rug. What? Straight to voice mail. What? I already fed you! Allen... What? - The pen. - Whoa. That lady outside. Magic. - Dorothy... - What? I've had this forever. Me, too. Where'd you get that? I don't remember. Me neither. Toto! Well, that was rude. I'm so sorry. She had a really rough morning. Should we sign the contract, Bryan? Geez, guys, I don't know, I need to go home tonight. My son has a soccer game, and Dorothy asked me to come by her place. Bryan, don't you think you owe it to her? I mean, this is the biggest deal of her life. It won't take long. OK, if it won't take too long. - Memory dust? - Yeah, memory dust. Memory dust? - You need to talk to Dorothy. - OK. I'll be back in a second. Take care of them. - Right? Thank you. - Yeah. Oh, and don't forget the fine print. They always get you in the fine print. I'll watch it. Wow. Its OZ. It's-it's missing the bottom part. OK. OK, we just tear this place up. Look for anything glowing. - OK. - OK. Henry... Great place. It's OK. My place in Bel Air is much better. Can I go to the restroom? Sure. Through the door, to your right. Thanks. Go and get him. That's good. - Put a little back into it. - I'm trying! Ahh! I think I might change. - How do I look? - Perfect, princess. I was so busy, I didn't even bother to open it. That is not one of my drawings. What is this? Dorothy... There is never a good time to tell you things that may upset you or frighten you. Bu! I have to share something with you that I've been holding back. And I think if was a mistake not felling you right from the beginning- Your real name is Dorothy, but your last name isn't Gale. You were born in 7889. Your parents were named Frank and Maud. They were my grandparents. I'm not your uncle, honey. You are, in fact, my aunt. Em and I inherited the old farmhouse. And more important, a letter from your father, Frank. My dearest Dorothy, I hope this letter finds you some day. Somehow. I had hoped to tell you these things in person but, with each passing day, that appears more and more unlikely. After you vanished, we were devasfafed. Your mother cried herself to sleep every night... waiting in your room, waiting for a miracle. Everyone told us to give up hope. To learn to live with our loss. But we could not do that- We knew in our hearts that you were still out there. Some where. I kept searching. Pushing myself Never giving up. I took ill. And your mother made the hard decision. She knew, as she always does, that there was no other way but to move forward with our lives. And so, she collected your things, And that's"s when she found the wafer ball... that glowed, that was alive with magic. Frank! Through if, we could see you. We could watch you from Kansas. And though you looked as you always had, everything here in Kansas was changing. And so the decades passed, and we watched your adventures in the world of Oz. A world we could see... but never touch. There she is. Dorothy? Dorothy! - Dorothy, sweetheart? - Can you hear us? Dorothy?! No, she can't hear us. Dorothy! No. No. We miss you so much, Dorothy. And your mother and I, we love you... with all our hearts. There are some facts that are a bi! over my head. Bu! this is what I know to be true. Growing up, my mother, your sister, told me the stories, but I never believed them. Until a twister laid you at my doorstep. When you returned, you lapsed in and out of your memories, until they were completely gone- Em and I loved you and raised you as our own. We kept the story a secret. After all, you were just a little girl. Dorothy. We need to talk about your mom and dad. They're not coming back... ...are they? You should know who you are, Dorothy. What you decide to do with this is in your hands. Dorothy, I'm scared I might be running out of time. I've just had this feeling lately. Something ain't right, Dorothy. Something wicked this way comes. it's getting colder out there, ain't it? - Dorothy? - Gonna be a longer winter. Dorothy, sweetheart, come set this table. I wanna fly, just like that. Betsy wouldn't come out of her stall. She must've known. Looks like a storm's coming. Well, that came up quick. That looks like a- ...a twister. Get Dorothy. We gotta get to the storm cellar. Dorothy! Dorothy? Dorothy! Oh, my God. - What was she doing out there? - I don't know. Hand me that rope. Dorothy! Dorothy! No! No! - Toto! - Dorothy! No! Oh, my baby. Please... Dorothy! You are no match for me! Soon all of Munchkin country will be mine! We shall take all of Oz! The Changing Word shall belong to us. Oh, dear. I'm not the girl in these letters or in those books. The woman on the street, the one who touched the pen, If the bad witches are still here... She must be a good witch. The good witches are here, too. And I know where to find one. Where's Billie? I think she's gone. Did you try her cell? What's wrong? Oz, it's- it's real. The stories aren't stories. They're memories. Slow down. Are you OK? It's been a weird day. The lady out front, Allen's pen, it's magic. She must be a good witch. See? It's time I level with you, Dorothy. So it's true? You're from Oz, too? Everything is going to be OK. You have the key. That's what they all want. Who? The Wicked Witches. Langwidere. The Witch of the West. I'm Lucasta, the Good Witch of the North. I couldn't tell you until the time was right. Everything is gonna be OK. Are you guys gonna be a while? I can order in. No, no that's fine. We're not gonna belong. Good, because there are these awful creatures in my house, Muckadoos. Poor thing. Don't worry. it's gonna be OK. Here. Give me the key. Hey, just so, you know, to be sure. Can you prove that you're the good witch? I don't know what you mean. Can you do a trick or something? Allen, Dorothy knows I'm Lucasta. Don't you, Dorothy? It's OK, Allen. She's my friend. Yeah... No, do something. - No, I'm serious. - Allen! Look I know your books inside and out. Every witch in Oz has a magical item. Without it, they can't cast spells. Where's yours? This is serious. Oh. Well. If you're Lucasta, then I guess you don't mind if I do this! This world makes us forget. So long have we all been away from Oz. I was beginning to believe you, that this place was real, and that Oz was just a dream. Why? Why go through all of this? Stupid girl! I need the story. What happened in Oz? I need to know the secret. But that was a long time ago. Indeed. Not a day passed that I didn't feel the pain of what you did to me. Does that seem strange, that I would want revenge? Revenge? Oh, how easily you forget. You killed my sister! Sorry? It's too late. Now give me the key! No, I won't let you take it. I can't take it. You have to give it to me. Give me the key, Dorothy. It's incomplete. The question is, where is the rest of it? I don't know. Hey, psycho! Knock it off. You want to see my magic item? No. Die! Don't cry. It won't hurt him. This world makes us forget who we are. Doesn't it, Scarecrow? An ingenious plan, to hide here. And none of you remember a thing. I will not be defeated so easily! I rather enjoy this world. A simple place with no magic! Best of all, no Munchkins! These people will be so easy to enslave. I may not be able to take Oz, but I can take this world. Give me the key! No! I know what you're thinking. If all those stories are true, then you must be some kind of hero. Let me show you. I know the real Dorothy. She's nothing more than a weak, silly little girl who was in the right place at the right time. Smashing shoes. But do you remember how to use them? No. Not yet. I am not impressed! Get off! Get off! No! No! No! Give it back! No! Ooh, good monkey. You will tell me where the rest of it is. I have ways of jogging your memory. I've already remembered something. Really? What? This. This isn't over. This is just the beginning. I got a new one. - Oh, yeah? - Mm-hm. - Wanna hear it? - Sure. - Do you really or do you kinda of wanna hear it? - I wanna hear it. - Yeah? - Just say what you got. OK. it's tough to get by at my size. Living life at the height of your thighs. Just barely eye level to the lint in your navel. When you fart, it goes right in my eyes. Needs work. it's a limerick, right? - Really? - You got anything else? There once was a wizard from Oz, his hair was the color of gauze. Nick! Nick! quite crazy he seemed What? What?! But his wisdom far purpassed all his flaws. Those guys... Head full of beans? Yeah, like, he's not all there. It's like a brain of beans. Well, 'cause he's crazy. I think I can get it. Here, can you reach my hand? Hey, careful, I don't know you that well. Will you stop it? It's a limerick. Badabidadabida boom, pop, badabidadabida Ding! Oh! I got the knot. It's a Flying Koser knot. - Come on. - Well, then why don't you do it? All right, I'll do it. I got one. - You ready? - Yes, please. Comes real easy, ain't it there, Turbo? You know what? I love you. I love you, too. And you know what? I'm here. Me too. I'm not going anywhere. The door. I don't ever want to be without you. I don't know what I'd do if someone took you away. - Where'd they go? - Who? You know. Leaving so soon? No, no, no! Stay right there. Come on, put me down! Put me down! No come back. - Please - Grab the door. I'm very serious. Put him down. Any sudden moves and the midget gets it. Go ahead and kill him. I can just get an other one. - Hey, no! - Come on. Welcome. Oh, Allen! I always knew I was different. I just thought I might be gay. Let me know if this hurts. No. I don't feel a thing. I can't do this. Of course you can. - Look at what you just did. - I didn't do that. I don't know how that happened. Dorothy, listen to me. You just have to remember who you are. I wonder what happens if I try the rest of this? Careful. Those little guys said it might fry your brain. I have to try it. No trickery, Wizard. Give me the book! Terms first. In exchange for the Book of Bini Aru, the Wicked Witch of the West and her assorted forces of evil, do hereby agree to never ever again lay siege, attack, mettle, or generally annoy the City of Emeralds, the lands of the Munchkins, or the territories west of Winky Country. There is a map in here. Enough! Give me the book and I'll agree to your ridiculous terms. Pinky swear. You must agree to never try and fetch it back. No tricks, no magic. And none of your infernal machines! You have my word. I will never, ever personally do anything against you. Now, this thing is heavy. You may want to have someone give you a hand. You can't do this. I already have. My word is my word. I've made no promise. Dorothy, do it. You know the spell. No, Dorothy. Don't do it! Don't listen to her. Do it! Please! You killed my sister! Don't kill me, too. Dorothy, you must! - I can't. - No! - I'm sorry. - Let her go. - A deal is a deal. - You can't let her destr... I gave my word. Poor child. You were to perform one simple task, and you failed. After killing the Witch of the East, they decided to have the pure in heart kill me, but now, even the Wizard knows the error of his ways. You must see that's not your destiny. I see a future, Dorothy Gale, where you shall take my sister's place and serve at my side. I saw it! I had the chance to kill her and I didn't. I couldn't! I can't! I can't kill her. You don't have to kill her. You just have to stop her. The Wizard betrayed us to save Oz! That's why she's here, to take our world! I can't do it. Take these shoes. You do it. These shoes don't belong to me. They belong to you. No, they belong to the girl in the books. I don't know that girl. I do. We do this together. I'm with you every step of the way, Dot. I don't remember how to teleport. Then we'll do the next best thing. You know, it's starting to come back to me. I'm starting to remember things. Me too, Allen, but it's not enough. Hey lady, what're you doing? "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! "The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! "Beware the Jubjub bird, "and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!" Okaaaay. Spunky. I like that. You shall be my special pet. You're not really my type. Really! I don't impress you? I'm sure we can come to some agreement, some mutual understanding, right? This time it is on! I have called upon the creatures of the shadows. We will rip this world apart, inch by inch, brick by brick. This should get her attention. Wow. This is- this is really, really bad. It's not our fault. There's construction all over 54th street. You should probably take 56th. Traffic bad everywhere. Something going on in Times Square. Can you at least take 7th for me? You're the man now, dog. Go back, go back, go back! - Other way! - Go back! - Where we going? - Straight! - What? Did you see what I saw? - Go! - What? No! - She said drive straight Short Round, now drive this cab! Go! Ooh, I don't like, I don't like. Do you have a plan?! There's big teeth. Now that's what I talk about! This one on me! - I don't want to be here. - No. Follow me. No, you follow me. - Follow me. - OK, all right. Go on, go. Go. - Everybody back. Get behind me. - All right. OK. Now, we're leaving. Nobody make any sudden moves. And put that stuff down. Are you sure you know how to use that? I took fencing in college. I'm serious lady. I'm Scottish. I know how to use this. Have you not seen Braveheart? - What are you doing? - I'm not doing that. OK. Forget it. Just let us down! Sure thing, my pretties. Bye-bye. That's a relief. Nick! Give me your hand! No! Get them! - Give me your arm! - Dorothy pull me in! - Come in! I got you! - Pull me in! Additional rider pay extra! All right. It's OK. You can open your eyes. Now that was a coincidence. No, it was fate. Dorothy. Give me the key, Dorothy. Only I can make this all go away. I wouldn't trust her. Give me the key! Get them! Stop! - Get behind me. - Let's go. It's all coming back to me, Billie. Good, then you'll remember I'm better than you. Dorothy! What will you do without your precious little Dorothy? Give me every last piece of the key! Kill them! Bryan... him... Whoa. That's weird. He's... Good monkey. Stay. Sit. Good monkey. I'm the Lion! I'm the Lion! You're the Tin Man. What? - You're the Tin Man! - What?! I'm the Lion, he's the Scarecrow, you're the Tin Man! Don't be afraid. Fight him! - I'm the Tin Man? - Yeah! I'm the Tin Man. I'm the Tin Man! Yeah! But, you're the Tin Man, aren't you? That's the Tin Man! You're the Tin Man. Hey, yo, G-funk? So have you ever seen Planet of the Ape? Dorothy. Are you OK? Nick... Tin Man. No, I'm not. I thought I was as well. Bryan thought I was, but Bryan's got these teeth, Allen's made of straw, Bryans going Oh, yeah. That's the Tin Man. Yeah. Glinda! We will fight for your world, Dorothy Gale. Good witch. A witch? I knew it. The cavalry has arrived. Go! Get them! Come to me, Dorothy. Here, it's the rest of the key. Glinda, you have to stop her. - Dorothy, Dorothy! - Glinda, help. Well, we have to help her! Dorothy is the only one to ever kill a witch. She is the one that has the power. But Dorothy is not a witch. She's a writer. You're the one zooming around in a bubble. Go and help! She has the power. She always has. We need to stop this! Where do we start? What are we supposed to do? There's an army of gnomes going head to head with the NYPD. There's a big ostrich-looking dragon chewing on the Chrysler Building and every tree in Central Park is eating people! I brought help. Munchkins! Munchkins, that's good. Ah, Dorothy. Have you finally come to your senses? I will never give it to you. You don't really have a choice, do you? You need the Changing Word. How else will you put your city back together? You need the complete key, just as much as I do. You take the one with the silly accent. I'll take the pussy cat. Come here. Stay with me. This is unconfirmed. Flying creatures, gorillas with wings... Nick, Nick, Nick. Gorillas with wings. The scene in Central Park... ...is chaos! it's complete... What will you do? I'll go back to Oz. You lie. You can't use the book in Oz. You made a deal with the Wizard. Remember? Ah, somebody's been hitting the memory dust. All right. I'll use it to enslave this world. - I lied! - You're a witch. I'm a agent. Well, then you're going to have to take it, because I'm not giving it to you! Then it won't work. You know the rules. Then you'll have to kill me. With the power of the Changing Word, nothing shall stand in my way. Thank you. Hey, can I borrow your truncheon? - Do what? - Night stick. Oh, yeah. Yeah! On, you idiot! What have you done to my beautiful head? That was out of the park. When I get my hands on you, if I can find them... Ooh. I didn't mean that. First, I shall enslave this world. Then Neverland, Camelot or maybe Wonderland. Shangri-la, Narnia... I shall rule them all. I have a deal for you. You and I, best friends. We shall rule together. I can see as a little girl you wouldn't know any better, but now with seasoned eyes, you know the truth. All creatures just need a little guidance, someone to show them the way, make sense of all this madness. I gave you everything you'd have ever wanted. The perfect apartment, the perfect career, the perfect guy. Even enough money to save that sweet little farm in Kansas. I don't need to hear this. What if you could bring him back? We can bring back your Uncle Henry. There is so much we can do together. Dorothy, I can learn from you. I'll promise not to vaporize those who annoy me, if you'll promise to help me guide the new world. What do you say? Deal? I can't do that. Call off the attack. Brilliant, very exciting, if I hadn't disconnected the water supply! Now give me the rest of the key, Dorothy. Do you always have to make things more difficult than they need to be? Stop! How about a little fire, Scarecrow?! No. The key. Don't! Are you going to save him? No! Oh, come on, Dorothy, you can save him. Please! Stop all these games. Hand it over. No! Oh, my God! Get up. Let's do this the right way. You first. Give it up Tin Man. No one beats the Nome King! Yeah! Yes! I can't let you die, Allen. You're gonna be OK! Dorothy, why? Why did you give that to her? You shouldn't have given it to her. I didn't have a choice. Oh, no. She'll destroy everything. I need you, Allen, I didn't have a choice. We can't give up. Not now. Finally! it's no use. I told you Tin Man. No one beats the Nome King! All right. Pretty, pretty. Hello. I wish I could be there in person, but a deal is a deal. I'm sure you're looking as lovely as ever. Before I became the omnipotent and all powerfull ruler of Oz I was a magician with a travelling circus! Before that, I did some time. with the Omaha Playhouse. My King Lear was impeccable. You may be asking yourself why, at this moment, at the time of your victory, I would show up and recite my resume. I just wanted you to understand how I managed to bring this off A little slight-of-hand and some thespian work was your undoing. For you, my old friend, have been beaten. You've been tricked. Bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Smoked. What?! The key in your hand is not the key to the book. Even if it were it wouldn't matter. The book that is undoubtedly in your other hand, is also a fake. Inside is a copy of the Declaration of Independence and the full text of the Constitution. No! Yes! You're in trouble now. Oh, quickly Dorothy. OK, I've got it. When the time is right, the key will work. It will unlock your memories, so put it in a safe place. My friends will help me hide it. Oh, no, no, don't tell me! I don't like that kind of pressure. The less I know, the better. Oh, shame about the book. Give me the book, Wizard! I'm coming. The problem with Oz is all the witches. Presenting her royal wickedness, the Witch of the West! You must agree to never try and fetch it back. No tricks. Whatever happens, Dorothy, stick to the plan. She can't suspect it's a trick. No, she won't. You have my word. I will never, ever personally do anything against you. - Dorothy, do it. - I can't. - No. - Let her go. You can't let her de... But now even the Wizard know the error of his ways. You must see this is not your destiny. Leave this place. - Where's the key?! - Oh, oh, that. Toodles. No! Too late. Your head is mine. Fine, then I'll take yours. I can't believe that you... and that miserable wizard lied. It's over, Billie. You have no key, no book, no power. I beg to differ. I don't like surrender, but a fight to the death? Now that sounds fun. But we're friends. You're my best friend, Billie. Please stop this. Friends? Friends. I hate to break it to you but I lied. All those things you did for me. Lies, all of it. We had fun together. I was using you! We are friends. The cyclone is almost coming, I don't need to listen to nonsense. Shut up! Oh, no. We can't outrun it. Come on, Dorothy. You admitted that you had forgotten about Oz. Oz... I didn't want to, but this place, it just makes you forget. - We will get you home, I promise. - What do you mean? It's a vortex portal, one-way ticket to Oz. It's not a tornado? Looks like a tornado. Enough talk. Go ahead, do your worst. I'm ready! I could vaporize you, turn you into a tiny, little bug that I keep in my pocket. Yes, yes a beetle. Oh, you should. You're all powerful Dorothy. You killed the Witch of the East. You're the greatest witch this world has ever seen. Don't listen to her, Dorothy! I am. Finally! Finally, you understand all this saving people, protecting munchkins and talking to zoo animals What's the point? This world is dark and cold, full of death. But you killed the Witch of the East. Take her place. Not just in Oz, here. Everywhere. I will show you. Just close your eyes. What a day. I don't want you to show me. Why can't you understand? What happened to you? Don't you care at all? I know who I am. People die... and it breaks my heart, but all I can do is try. Please... help me try. Don't you see? You could be somebody good. Somebody great. Don't you see? You're just a little girl. Why is it so hard to defeat... one little girl? You're slaves, all of you! The word. The Changing Word. What have you done? You could do anything, and you do this? Why? I won't hurt you. You're free to stay or to go. It's up to you. I've never had friends. Only slaves. Look at me. You made me cry. You made me cry. You made me cry. Billie. - Did you hurt me? - No. It's not supposed to be like this! Good bye. No. Thank you. Is that it? Is it over? Dorothy. Only Dorothy and the Scarecrow would remember that night. The night that the Wicked Witch of the West was finally defeated. The nigh! Dorothy Gale remembered who she really is. Hey, sorry I'm late. That's OK. I should be late more often. - You go first. - Hey, you go first. - No, you go first. - You wanna go first? - Yeah, I'll go first! - You sure? - Yeah, sure. - All right, you go first. Yeah, I'll go first. Wish me luck. All right, good luck. Bye! That hurt? - Stand up! - I can't. Try. The dog's coming. So do you fancy Italian or Chinese? Fried chicken! Not one of the choices, but OK. Hey, what is that song? Just a little thing I've been working on. I like it. Thanks. I'm serious, man. This is crazy. Where are we? - We are in Oz. - Where's Oz? Is that in Jersey? - I don't know. - Well, then how do you know it's Oz? Because why you were asleep, the talking sunflower told me. I told you guys, you can't park here. We gotta get out of here. This is too weird. I think there was something in our coffee. Hey, there! You guys lost? Maybe I can help. Subs from GECKOS cleaned out HI |
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