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Wiz, The (1978)
Oh, hello there, honey!
- Nice to see you! - This is my son. How do you do? Dorothy, this here's Gil Warren. - Hi. - It's so good to see you. Don't worry, Gil. She's just shy. I brought you some tea. Look! Here they come. Come on, they're coming! Shh. We're getting ready to set the table. Take these checkers someplace else. Here, you take these. Come on, Henry, be careful. Come on. - Oh, man, you always drop the checkers when I'm... - That's the way you win! Toto! Toto! Toto baby! # Put your arms around me, child # # Like when you bumped your shin # # Then you'll know I love you now # # As I loved you then # # Though you may be trying sometimes # # And I need you and you're not there # # You know I may get mad # # And turn away # # But you know that I still care # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Though you're growin' older now # # And I'm watching you grow # # I know I make you sad sometimes # # And I see your feelings show # # But one day I'll look around # # Yeah # # And you will be grown # # You'll be out in the world such a pretty girl # # But you'll be on your own # # And I'd like to know it's there # # The feelin' that we have # # Knowing that you can come to me # # Whenever you are sad # # Child, I'd like to know it's there # # The feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling that we have # # Don't lose the feeling ## # Lose it # # Lose it # # I don't even know the first thing # # About what they're feelin' # # What am I afraid of # # Don't know what I'm made of # # Can I go on # # Not knowin' # # Feelin', feelin' # # Somethin' tells me that it's more than I # # Can deal with # # Though I never knew the song # # Some words still catch on # # Like carin' # # And sharin' # # Being together # # No matter # # Can I go on # # Not knowin' # # Don't know what I'm made of # # Why am I afraid of # # Feelin' # # Feelin' # # If I dared to take a chance # # Would someone # # Lead me ## Emergency snow alert is now in effect. No automobiles are to be driven without snow tires or chains. Winds up to 45 miles per hour... That was a great dinner, Emma. - That baby! - You're a grandpa! - Our daughter's fine. - Mmm. But Dorothy. Give her time, honey. Give her time. Those dishes ain't gonna wash themselves. Mrs. Warren's son looks real fine, don't he? Aunt Em, please, no more matchmaking. Did you make the decision about that new school yet? It's no decision to make. But, honey, it's a chance to teach in high school. Get away from that kindergarten once and for all. It's more money. But besides the money, it's a chance for you to be with older students. Almost adults. - I like it with the kids, Aunt Em. - I know you do, honey. And you're a fine teacher. But that's why I think you'd enjoy teachin' high school. Have a chance to be with the students for four years... ...such an important time in their development. I'm really happy with the kids, Aunt Em. But you been there for three years already. It's time you got out of that sandbox and into some new people, new neighborhood. Girl, do you know you're Never been south of 125th Street? Well, you haven't. Oh, here we go again. You get me so worked up... ...that I'm beginning to sound like a Jewish mother. I can't see how goin' south of 125th Street ever made anybody's life better. And you're never gonna know unless you try, are you? And you're never gonna know unless you try, are you? Come on, Aunt Em, let me do that. Why don't you go in and relax? I can do... Let me do that. Listen, I know gettin' out in that world ain't easy... ...leaving Uncle Henry and me. But we'll always be here for ya, Dorothy. And whatever your fears are, well... ...they'll be defeated just by facing up to 'em. Now, you take that new job and find a place for you and Toto. It's time for you to make a home of your own. Toto! Oh! Toto! Toto! Toto! Toto! Toto! Oh! Toto! Toto! Toto! Toto! Toto! Toto! # La, la, la, la, la # # La, la, la, la # Toto! Where are you? Toto! Toto! Toto! Toto! Oh! Toto, Toto. - Toto, Toto. - To... To... Toto! - Toto, Toto. Toto, Toto. - To... To... To... - Toto! - Toto! - Toto! - Toto! - Toto! - Toto! God, where am I? Toto! Toto! Toto! Toto! Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two! Two, four, six, eight! Who do we appreciate? No! No! - Relax, Mama! - We just wanna lay a little thanks on ya. - What? - You know, heavy on the gratitude department. - Gratitude? For what? - For curling the curse. - For leveling the leech. - For killing our oppressor. Uh! I never killed nothin' in my life. - Never killed the point? - A pint? - A good story? - The umpire? - No! - Never killed no time? No, I told you! I never killed nothin'! Well, then, I think you graduated... ...from the bush leagues into the majors, girl. Toto? Can you dig this? - Who is it? - Ain't no more "is"! Thanks to you, it's a "was"! - She was Evermean. - The Wicked Witch from the East. And they didn't call her Evermean for nothin'! She was the parks department commissioner! Caught us paintin' on her playground walls. - Turned us into graffiti! - And there we stayed. - Flat, splat and stuck like that! - Doomed as cartoons forever. 'Til you burned alphabet through the sky and ended the curse. - And the "curseress. " - Givin' a new lease on life to us... The Munchkins, most recently referred to as the "cursees. " Toto. Let's hear it for Super Witch and her Wonder Dog! Two, four, six, eight! Who do we appreciate? Miss One! Come to Mama, you hot little digits! Let me lay my 20-20s on ya! Oh, how I love you! Let me... Mmm! Count the ways! Oh, mmm! Mmm! Innumerable blessings, countless felicitations. Thank you beyond number and additional good stuff! I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to kill her. Oh, don't be all sixes and sevens, honey. You did the world a multitudinous service by 86ing ol' Evermean. Bottom line, honey, this chick put the "ugh" in ugly. But she sure had pretty shoes, didn't she? Yah! I don't want these shoes. I wanna go home. I wouldn't discount those shoes, honey. And don't ever take 'em off until you do get home. Remember Miss One told ya. Oh, pardon me. Miss One's the name if you haven't guessed by now. Numbers is my game and now that you've freed us... we can all go back to runnin' our business, ahem. We can all go back to runnin' our business. We can all go back to runnin' our business. But where am I? Where am I? You're in Munchkin Land! - The indivisible Land of Oz! - Oz? But where's my home? Where's Aunt Em? Where's New York? - New York? - 433 Prospect Place. Ooh! Four, three, three. You wanna play more than one number today, honey? I got a freedom special, three numbers for the price... No, I don't wanna play any numbers. I just wanna get home! Oh, well, now that ol' Evermean's number's up... ...that leaves only three witches in Oz. One, myself, but my powers don't amount to much. And number two, Glinda, the Good Witch of the South. Oh, she's a real star, but you can hardly catch her in. And number three, the multi-horrored Evillene, the Wicked Witch of the West. Evermean's even uglier sister! But I don't think it'd be a good time to ask her for a favor. So I figured the odds are only the Wiz could cipher how to get you back to... So I figured the odds are only the Wiz could cipher how to get you back to... - Where'd you say that place was? - The Wiz? What's a Wiz? What's a... What's a Wiz? Oh, darlin', he's the ultimate. The "X" quotient, the new math. The common denominator, the main man. The head honcho! Bottom line, honey. Numero uno! - Where is he? How do I find him? - Catch this number, honey. # Sweet thing let me tell you about # # The world and the way things are now # # You've come from a different place # # And I know you've traveled far # # Now that you've told me what it is # # I better point you towards the Wiz # - # He's the Wiz # - # He's the man He's the only one # # Who can give your wish right to ya # # He'll send you back through time # # By runnin' magic through ya # # All of his super power's his # # Dot dot da dot da # # Listen and I'll tell you where he is # # He's the Wiz and he lives # # In Oz # - # He's the Wizard # - # There's the way # # To the Emerald City That's not too far, is it # - # He's the Wizard # - # Just take your dilemma, child # # And lay it on the Wizard # # He'll fix you a drink that'll bubble and foam # # Dot dot da dot da # # And in a flash you will be home # - # He's the Wiz # - # He's the Wiz He's the Wizard of Oz # - # He's got magic up his sleeve # - # He's the Wizard # # And you know without his help # # It would be impossible to leave # # Fantastic powers at his command # Whoo! # And I'm sure that he will understand # # He's the Wiz and he lives # # In Oz # # Sweet thing, let me tell you about # # The world and the way things are now # # And I'd better point ya towards the Wiz # Whee! Ooh! Whee! He's the Wiz! # Fantastic powers at his command # # I'm sure that he will understand # # He's the Wiz and he lives # # In Oz # # Sweet thing let me tell you about # # The world and the way things are now # # You come from a different place and I know you traveled far # # Now that you've told me what it is # # I'd better point you toward the Wiz # # Dot dot da dot da dot dot da dot da # # He's the Wiz ## But how do I get to the Emerald City? Count your blessings, cut your losses and follow the Yellow Brick Road. - The Yellow Brick Road? Yeah! The Yellow Brick Road! Yellow Brick. Toto! Remember, don't ever take those shoes off and watch out for the poison poppies! Wait. Miss One? Miss One? Miss One! Miss One! # There's a feeling # # Here inside # # That I cannot hide # # And I know I've tried # # But it's turning me # # Around # # I'm not sure that I'm aware # # If I'm up or down # # Or here or there # # I need both feet on the ground # # Maybe I'm just goin' crazy # # Lettin' myself get uptight # # I'm actin' just like a baby # # But I'm gonna be # # I'm gonna be all right # # Soon as I get home # # Soon as I get home # # Soon as I get home # # In a different place # # In a different time # # Different people around me # # I would like to know # # Of their different world and how # # Different they find me # # And just what's a Wiz # # Is he big Will he scare me # # If I ask to leave # # Will the Wiz even hear me # # How will I know then # # If I'll ever get home again # # Here I am alone though it feels the same # # I don't know where I'm goin' # # I'm here on my own and it's not a game # # And a strange # # Wind is blowin' # # I'm so amazed at the things that I see here # # Don't wanna be afraid I just don't wanna be here # # In my mind this is clear # # What am I doin' # # Here # # I wish # # I was home # # I wish, I wish # # I wish I was ## Wait! Mister, please wait! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Succulent and divine! - Delicious and nutritious. - Brother crows, this is good stuff! I'm glad you fellows are enjoying your breakfast. Is today the day you're gonna help me get down from here? Help you down? What is goin' down in that hayloft you call a head? Didn't we tell you yesterday and the day before that... - And the day before that... - That you can't get down? This is your life, buddy, all hung up! Besides, Clyde... ...us crows are just thinkin' of you. There ain't nothin' to get down for! But I was just thinkin', just once, fellas... ...for a little while to walk in my garden, wouldn't that be terrific? - Walk! - You can't walk! Why, you just a straw paper dummy! You're right, fellas. I was just bein' selfish. And stupid as usual! - But I was readin' this morning that most people... - Oh, man! Look, didn't we tell you readin' was a waste of time? - But Bacon here said... - Bacon? Once over lightly, please! "Knowledge is power. " - See, and, uh, Cicero, he said... - Cicero-ro-row! "More men are ennobled by study than by nature. " And over here, especially apropos in my situation... ...i. E., stuck up on this here pole: "Do not accept any situation. Question, argue and explore. " Now who you gonna believe? - Mr. Nobody on that paper? - Fellas, please! Or your good friends, the crows? Yeah, who have dedicated their lives to educatin' you. - Yeah! - Sounds to me, fellas... ...like ol' garbage guts here done forgot the crow commandments again. Fellas, I did not forget the crow commandments. Please! Run 'em by me! Run 'em by me. - Thou shalt honor all crows. - Right on! - Proceed! - Thou shalt stop readin' all bits of paper and literature. - Trash! Trash! - And the most important one! Thou shalt never, never get down off of this here pole! You got it, Clyde! And the crow anthem! I gotta sing that thing again? # You gotta libretti it 'til you get it # - # Elucidate # - # Reiterate # # And syncopate # # You can't win You can't break even # # And you can't get outta the game # # People keep sayin' # # Things are gonna change but they look just like # # They're stayin' the same # # You get in way over your head # # And you only got yourself to blame # - # You can't win, child # - # You can't win, child # # You can't break even # # You can't get outta the game # # You can't win The world keeps movin' # # And you're standin' far behind # # People keep sayin' # - # Things'll get better # - # Just to ease your state of mind # # So you lean back # # And you smoke that smoke # # And you drink your glass of wine # # Sayin' you can't win child # # You can't break even # # And you can't get outta the game # # You can't win # # You can't win no way if your story stays the same # - # You ain't winnin' # - # Oh, no # # But I'd like to see you I'm awfully glad you came # # Better cool it 'cause it ain't about losin' # # Then the world has got no shame # # You can't win, child # # Can't break even Can't get outta the game # # You can't win You can't break even # # Ain't the way it's supposed to be # - # You'll be spendin' your little bit of money # - # Oh, no # # While someone else rides for free # - # Learned your lesson # - Ooh! # Refuel your mind before some turkey blows out your flame # - # And you can't win, child # - # No, you can't win # - # You can't win, child # - # No, you can't win # - # You can't win, child # - # No, you can't win # - # You can't win, child # - # No, you can't win # # You can't win, child Can't break even # # And you can't get outta the game # # You can't get outta the game # # You can't get out # Ooh! # Of the game # # No, no, no ## - I'll, I'll help you down. - What? You will? What's she doing here? - Get her outta here. - Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo, shoo, go on about your business. Shoo! Ooh! - Just hold on. - This is just an experiment. The results of the first experiment: Subject is a hopeless failure. - You are not. - I am. You're just a product of some negative thinking. First thing we have to do is get rid of these crows. Come on, Toto, sic 'em! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Before I call the taxidermist, you turkeys! Get off me, dog! Good boy, Toto. We can go now. You okay? Come on! Hey! Ooh! I think I'm gonna make it this time. You sure are. Just a little self-confidence... ...and coordination. You're gonna be fine. You mean, all this time the only thing standing between... ...hangin' up there and livin' it up down here... were those crows? Well, they told you you couldn't do it and you believed them. If I only had a brain, I would have figured that out a long time ago. There you go with that negative thinkin' again. - Everybody has a brain. - Uh-uh. Not me, look. Oh. Garbage? "Lgnorance is the night of the mind... ...a night without moon or star. " Confucius said that. I'm on my way to find the Wiz. He's gonna get me back home. That's nice. Thank you. Good luck. I thought maybe he could get you a brain. You think that he could... And Toto and me, we could sure use some company. Besides, you have nothin' to lose. I don't, do I? That was so smart of you! I wish I thought of that. Indications are it would be very advantageous for me to join you. Good. Um, we only have one problem. The Munchkins said to follow the Yellow Brick Road, but I haven't been able to find it. - Yellow Brick Road? - There it is! Hey, wait! Wait! Did you say, "Yellow Brick Road"? - Yes! - Look over here! We don't need no cabs. - Say, what's your name? - My name is... Dorothy. Dorothy and Toto? What intelligent names! Okay, Dorothy and Toto, we're gonna have to find our own Yellow Brick Road. # Ease on down Ease on dow... # - Down the road! - There it is! # Ease on down # - Oh! - # Ease on... Down # - Down the road! - Oh! # Don't you carry nothin' # - # That might be a load # - There it is! Dorothy! Look! Dorothy! Aaah! Ta-da! Whoo! Come on, Dorothy! Come on! Whoo! # Come on and ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Pick your left foot up put your right one down # # Come on, legs keep movin' # # Don't you lose no ground # # Just you keep on keepin' on the road you choose # # Don't you give up on walkin' 'cause you gave up shoes # # Ease on down Ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Come on, ease on down down, down # Whoo! Whoo! # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Ease on down, ease on down down the road # # Ease on down, ease on down down the road # # Ease on down, ease on down down the road # # Ease on down the road # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # Ease on down Ease on down # Toto! # Ease on down ease, ease on down # - # Down the road ## - Help! Help! Help? Help? Where? Help! Help! Over here! Help! Hurry! Hurry! - Where are you? - Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up and save a life! Ooh! Ooh! I'm in a little bit of a squeeze, brother. Can you give me a hand? Dorothy? Oh, how terrible. - Don't move. - Don't worry, I wasn't planning any promenades. We'll be right back. Oh, he's so brave. He's probably in shock. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be in shock... Just once. I'm so... I'm so sorry. No apology necessary. I told you nothing hurts me. I have no feelings. The genius who created me only took care of my dashing good looks... ...my razor sharp wit and my irresistible attraction to the wrong women. What he forgot to add... was a heart. But... Everyone has a heart. Alas, everyone but yours truly. Hello! Nobody home in Soulville. Rid of you! Free from your posterior prison! You hulking she devil! Don't hear ya laughing now. We were abandoned here when this park went "el foldo. " Ah, it was a sad day. There's not much amusement to the closing down of an amusement park. But yours truly is an old trooper! I quickly made plans for the future. But alas, I was felled by my 4th wife, Teenie. Crushed in my prime! There, how does that feel? But that's the whole tragic point, my friends. # What would I do # # If I could suddenly feel # # And to know once again # # That what I feel is real # # I could cry I could smile # # I might lay back for a while # - # Tell me what # - # What # # What would I do # # If I could feel # # What would I do # # If I could reach inside of me # # And to know how it feels to say # # I like what I see # # And I'd be more # # Than glad to share # # All that I have inside of here # # And the songs my heart might bring # # You'd be more than glad to sing # # And if tears should fall from my eyes # # Just think of all the wounds they could mend # # And just think of all the time I could spend # # Just being vulnerable again # - # Tell me what # - # What # # What would I do # - # Oh, tell me what # - # What, what would I do # - # Oh, tell me what # - # What # # What would I do # # If I could feel ## I'm just a miserable hunk of junk. Me! Once the fastest metal mouth on the midway. Frozen... ironically in a position I had assumed all too often. A seat cushion for Teenie! Teenie! Teenie! - Teenie! - Dorothy! - Teenie! Teenie! - Are you thinkin' what I am? - Teenie! - You're so smart! Teenie! Teen... You could come with us to see the Wiz. He's gonna get me back home... ...and he's gonna get the Scarecrow some brains. Maybe he could get you a heart. You're not just flimflammin' an ol' flimflammer, are ya? Could I come with ya? - Of course. - "A threefold cord is not quickly broken. " What's wrong? He rusted himself cryin'. Oil! Oil! - What? - Oil! - Find some oil! - Some oil! Oil! # Slide some oil to me # # Let it trickle down my spine # # If you don't have STP # # Crisco will do just fine # # Slide some to my elbow # # And to my fingers if you would # # Slide some oil to me, girl # # Whoo, don't that feel good # # Slide some oil to my feet # # Look-a there I got toes again # # Come on slide some oil to my knees # # And let me see if I can bend # # Slide some oil to me # # I'm beginnin' to feel just fine # # Slide some oil down my throat # # And let me lubricate my mind # # Slide some oil to me # # Go ahead hit my shoulder blades # # Those who don't have to lubricate # # Sure got it made # # Slide some oil to me # # Let it slip down my side. # Laying there in one position # # Sure done made me tired # Now watch me dance. Come on, you metal metatarsals, don't fail me now. Ah-ha! Fall in line and get left behind. Two bits! Let me show you my Saturday night finish! Oh! Music man! Let me hear that band! # Don't turn the water on me # # Just let me burn and let me lubricate # # My mind ## Come on! # There may be times you think you've lost your mind # # These steps you're takin' leave you steps behind # # The road you're walkin' might be long sometimes # # But you keep on steppin' and you'll be just fine # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on and ease on down ease on down the road # # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Come on, ease on down down the road # # Come on, ease on down down the road # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # Ease on down ease on down ## Hey! Look at me walkin'! - Stop the music! - What's the matter? You need more oil? No! That beast! He's checkin' us out. Oh, it's just a statue. Made of stone, see? Now even a dummy like me knows a stone lion... ...can't... Check you out. # Say what you wanna but I'm here to stay # # 'Cause I'm a mean ol' lion # # Now you can go where you're gonna # # But don't get in my way I'm a mean ol' lion # # You'll be standing in a draft # # If you don't hear me laugh # Ha-ha! # If you have to come around # # You best not make me frown # # Or I just might knock you down # # 'Cause I'm a mean ol' lion # # You know I'm ready to fight and turn your day into night # # 'Cause I'm a mean ol' lion # # If you're half bright you'll detour to the right # # From a mean ol' lion # # And all you strangers got to beware # # This is the king of the jungle here # # And if I happen to let you slide # # Don't stand there run and hide # # You just, you just caught my better side # # Now I'm a mean ol' lion # # Look, you better beware # # This is the, the king of the jungle here # # And if I happen to let you slide # # Don't stand there run and hide # # You just done caught my better side # # Now I'm a mean ol' lion # Toto! # Now I'm a mean ol' lion ## How dare you touch... ...the personage of a king? You tacky package of horse fodder. Begone, you overexcited slot machine. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh! You mangy mutt! Oh! Toto! Oh! He bit my paw! King of the jungle? - King of the cowards. - You oughta be ashamed of yourself, scaring us like that. You big scaredy-cat! I can't scare anything. I can't even scare a scarecrow... ...a tin man or a little puppy, anything. It's no wonder they drummed me out of the jungle. - I.O.B.K.! - I.O.B.K.? Incapable Of Being King! No! Wait, wait! Wait! I was exiled in disgrace. I thought I'd be safe here. No one would... discover my terrible secret. Uh, that I'm... ...a lion without any courage! "Uneasy lies the head... ...that wears a crown. " W. Shakespeare. Well, I thought I'd seen 'em all. But never, never have I seen... ...a lion... without courage. Lion! Lion! Maybe the Wiz could give you some courage. - It's a good idea. - Capital suggestion. - Capital! He's gonna get me a heart. - And me some brains. Come with us to Emerald City. I'd love to, but I can't. But why? Because... I'm scared! Oh. # Oh, there # # May be times # # When you wish you wasn't born # # And you wake one morning to find your courage gone # # But just know that feelin' only lasts a little while # # You just stick with us We'll show you how to smile # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Come on, ease on down ease on down, down the road # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # I gotta get down gotta get, gotta, gotta # # Gotta, gotta, gotta getta, getta, getta # # Ease on down the road ease on down the road ## Ah, my ma would be so proud. Going to see the Wiz! My mama used to always say to me, Fleet! Fleet? That's my name, Fleetwood Coup de Ville. - Mama had high ideals. - Yeah! - You know what I mean? - Yeah! I ain't too happy underground, you all. - How does he do that? - It's just a hoax, my friend. He's got a little motor in his... Pocket. - Lion! Lion! - Help! - Oh, my... Please, somebody! - Shh! Lion! Lion! Owww! Lion! Li... Lion! Aaah! Lion, save me! Dorothy! Toto! Toto, Toto, Toto. Hey! Oh! Wait! - Where's the lion? - I'm coming! - Wait, wait! - Lion! Come on! Let's go! - Hurry up! - This way, this way! Wait for me! Hey! Sssss! # Ease on down ease on down the road # Hold it, hold it, hold it. My queen, if you'll allow me, like I say... ...you stick with the big kitty and you'll be in heaven. Sssss! Outta the frying pan, into the... This is like a setup. Stay away! Dorothy! Lion! Stay away! Dorothy! Lion! Don't follow them! Don't! Oh, please! It's a setup! - Stop! - Come back! Jump! Don't go in there! Whoo, whoo! Oh! Dorothy! Lion! - I can't move him! I can't move him! - Dorothy? - Get Toto, we'll come back for him. - Toto! Oh, look, poor little Toto! Sweet little Toto. What are we going to do? - All is lost! - Dorothy! Dorothy, please. Oh, please, don't be dead. Oh, please, don't be dead. Oh, all is lost. # How high the moon # What's happenin', babe? Hey, Lion's okay! - Hey, baby! - Come and cry over here! - Teenie! Think of Teenie! - Dor... Dorothy? - Think of Teenie! - Uh, Teenie, uh, Teenie! - Uh, Teenie! - It's all my fault! Uh, Teenie! Uh, Teenie! Oh, mighty Zeus! And gods of the universe! Why have you cursed this low, mangy animal so? Once I was a king, a lion amongst lions! Ruler of a beautiful kingdom by a waterfall. Attended by butterflies and sparrows. And now banished for lack of courage... I cannot even protect these friends who have been so kind. Oh, I was strong and brave... ...in the subway only to be foolish and weak again. I led us into the very jaws of death! Oh, let me end it all! - Lion, Lion! - No! No, let me splatter to the four winds! It's all right, Lion. It's all right. Everything's all right. - The worst is over, my furry friend. - No! Would you lay an appropriate quote on this poor beasty brother? "Showers expected late tomorrow. " Lion? # There is a place # # We'll go # # Where there is mostly quiet # # Flowers and butterflies # # A rainbow lives beside it # # And from a velvet sky # # The summer storm # # You can feel # # The coolness in the air # # But you're still # # Warm # # And then a mighty roar # # Will start the sky # # To cryin' # # But not even lightning # # Will be frightening # # My lion # # And with no fear inside # # No need to run # # No need to hide # # You're standing strong # # And tall # # You're the bravest # # Of them all # # If on courage # # You must call # # Then just keep on tryin' # # And tryin' # # And tryin' # # You're a lion # # In your own way # # Be a lion # Come on, be a lion. # I'm standing strong # # And tall # # You're the bravest # # Of them all # # If on courage # # You must call # # Keep on tryin' # # And tryin' # # And tryin' # # I'm a lion # # In my own way # # I'm a lion # - # A lion # - # A lion # # I'm a lion ## - How do we get in? - And how do you do? - Good evening there, brother. - This place is nice. The service entrance is at the side. We're here to see the Wiz. This is where the Wiz lives, isn't it? May I welcome you to the Emerald City. # Ahh, ahh, ah # # Ahh, ahh, ah # # I want to be seen green # # Wouldn't be caught dead red # # 'Cause if you are seen green # # It means you've got mean bread # # Ahh, ahh, ah # # Ahh, ahh, ah # # You've got to be seen in green to show that your stuff's laid # - # If you're not seen green # # You'd better be wearin' jade # # Ahh, ahh, ah # # You've got to be seen green # # Don't tell him your cupboard's bare # # That you gave up one week's feed # # To pay for your colored hair # # Ahh, ahh, ah # # Ahh, ahh, ah # # Ahh, ahh, ah # An announcement from the great and powerful Oz. Oz. I thought it over and green is dead. 'Til I change my mind, the color's red. # I wouldn't be seen green # # Ooo, ooo, ooo Ah, ah # # I wouldn't be caught dead # # And if I'm caught at all # # Then catch me in dead red # # Ooo # # You've got to be dead red # # You've got to be real hot # # So throw away those green gems # # And wear rubies on your yacht # # You've got to be dead red # # You've got to have flash and flair # # And if you're not seen red # # Then you shouldn't be seen # # Nowhere # How quick fashion goes down the drain. Last week when you all was wearin' pink... ...already for me, red was old. The ultimate yellow brick is gold. That's the new color, children, hit it. # Golden gold # # Golden gold # # Golden gold # # Golden gold # # You've got to be seen gold # # Watch out for the new kind you've got to have old gold # # Like some from a gold mine You've got to be wearin' gold # # The 24 karat kind and once you've shined it up # # It should ought to make you blind # # You've got to be seen in gold to show you're super slick # # It helps to pay tips and tolls It's the ultimate yellow brick # # It's the ultimate # # Gold # # Gold # # Gold, gold # # Gold, gold # # Gold, gold # # Gold, gold # # Gold, gold # # Gold, gold # # Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold ## An announcement from the great and powerful Oz. Send up the one with the silver slippers. Do you know how lucky you are? I've been trying to get an appointment for two years! No one sees the Wiz! - I knew you'd make it. - Who does your hair? Can you come for dinner next Wednesday? - Can I give you my card? - Can I take you home? And... Only the one with the silver slippers! You go ahead, Dorothy. "He who hesitates... " Etcetera, etcetera. Uh, I'd like to speak to the Wiz. Hey, Mike! Excuse me... Excuse me, sir, Mr. Wiz? Speak! I'm not alone, sir. I'm here with my three companions and my dog, Toto. Forget it. No riffraff. Uh, they're not riffraff, sir. They're my friends and they've traveled far to see you. I said, forget it! Then, then, I'm not comin' up there. What? Either you see my friends, sir, or you forget it. Send up the riffraff. What's happening? Step forward. Sure wish I was back at the library. So! You wanted to meet the Wizard! What do you snivelling deadbeats want? That's close enough! My name is Dorothy and... And I'm, I'm tryin' to get home. And these, these are my friends. This is the Scarecrow. He, he wants... Tell him. A brain, Your Majesty. Some of your great "Wiz... Dom. " Uh, and this is the Tin Man. I been a two-bit, carny hustler all my life. And I want a heart, O mighty and powerful Wiz. A heart... So I can love... ...all humanity. And what do you want, you overstuffed animal cracker? I wanna get the hell outta here! He wants some courage, sir. So he can go back to his old job... of being king of the jungle. Is this so, Lion? Anything she says. Can you help us, sir? - What's in it for me? - We'd be very grateful. How about your pretty silver slippers? No! No! You dare say no... ...to the great Wizard of Oz? I, I can't take these off 'til I get back home, but I'll send 'em to you. The great Oz has decided... ...not to grant any of your wishes! Unless, unless... ...you, Dorothy, kill Evillene... ...the Wicked Witch of the West! The great Oz has spoken! Oh, Mr. Wiz, please! Come in. I'm sorry I dragged you all here. And look how it turned out. Have you made your decision yet, Dorothy? I don't think there's any choice. Dorothy, you don't have to do it! We could stay right here! The Emerald City's not a bad place. Get a small apartment, chip in together. Hey, I bet in no time we'd fit right in. But I could never be happy here. Besides, I'd... Never get home. I have to go all the way, even if it means to Evillene. Come on, Toto, good boy. Then I'm going with you. Likewise! Me too. Come on. Which road do we take? Road? This one... ...and you may be sorry. - Then how do we find Evillene? - Don't worry. She'll find you. Owww! # Now when I wake up in the afternoon # # Which it pleases me to do don't nobody bring me no bad news # # 'Cause I wake up already negative # # And I've fired up my fuse so don't nobody bring me no bad news # # If we're gonna be buddies you better bone up on the rules # # 'Cause don't nobody bring me no bad news # # You can be my best of friends as opposed to payin' dues # # But don't nobody bring me no bad news # - # Well, no bad news # - # No bad news # - # No bad news # - # No bad news # - # Now don't you ever bring me no bad news # - # No bad news # # 'Cause I'll make you an offer, child that you cannot refuse # # So don't nobody bring me no bad news # # Now when you're talkin' to me # # Don't be cryin' the blues # - # 'Cause don't nobody bring me no bad news # - # No bad news # # You can verbalize and vocalize # # But just bring me the clues Don't nobody bring me # - # No bad news # - # No bad news # # Bring the message in your head or in somethin' you can't lose # - # But don't you ever ever bring me no bad news # - # No bad news # # If you gotta bring me somethin' make it somethin' I can use # - # But don't you bring me no bad news # - # No bad news # - # No bad news # - # No bad news # - # No bad news # - # No bad news # - # Now don't you bring me no bad news # - # No bad news # # 'Cause I'll make you an offer, child that you cannot refuse # # So don't you bring me no bad news # Right! # Don't nobody bring me no bad news # # If you're gonna bring me somethin' bring me somethin' I can use # - # But don't you ever bring me no bad news # - # No bad news # # 'Cause I'll make you an offer, child that you cannot refuse # # So don't nobody bring me no bad news # # Don't nobody bring me no bad news # # I say don't you bring me don't you bring me # # Ah, don't don't you bring me # # Don't, don't bring me # # I say don't # # Don't you ever bring me # # Don't you ever bring me bring me, bring me # # No bad news ## Work! Work! Work! Work! Work, work, work, work! And... ...all lunch hours are cancelled! Oh, please, O beautiful one! We haven't had a lunch hour in six months! Well, suffering is food for the soul. Now suffer! So, no one stopped Dorothy, eh? All right! Amateur night is over! I'm summoning my flying monkeys! No, no, not the flying monkeys! Yes, yes, the flying monkeys! I hate to have to do this myself, because I can't stand the smells... ...but these are red alert conditions! Hot... Fire. Peee-uu! Aaah! - What's happenin'? - Don't come any closer! I got a little job for you, Cheetah. Bring me Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Lion and the dog too. How do you want 'em? White bread or rye? You get smart with me and I'll send you back to your cages! Now get Dorothy and don't damage those silver slippers! Peee-uu! War is hell! Hit it, Morris! # Don't nobody bring me Don't nobody bring me # # Don't nobody bring me no bad news ## # Ease on down # I ain't scared. Aaah! - Hey, brother! - Not now! Lion! Wait for me! Get back, I told you! Psst! Psst! Psst! Psst! Psst, psst, psst! We're over here! - Psst! Lion! - Psst! Hey, brother! You better get outta the way for me! Toto! Where's Toto? Toto! Oh! Toto! - Toto! Toto! - Hey, there he is. - Toto. - I think we're safe. So, you're Dorothy, huh? You murdered my sister! A saint she was. And stole her shoes! - Give them to me! - No. - What? - No! All right, you! Don't worry, Dorothy. It doesn't hurt. It's just a little rough on my filing system. Never fear, my little flower. I'm just a hollow shell! Don't give up the shoes! Would you like sauerkraut or mustard, my dear? On your hot dog! Toto! Toto! No! Don't! No, don't! Don't you dare! Toto, Toto! - Will you give me those shoes? - Yes, yes, yes. That's what I thought. Toto. Psst! Psst! Hurry up with those shoes! No! Don't touch that! No! - No! No! - Toto! I'm allergic to water! It makes me melt! No! No! Please, please, help me with my friends! Oh, no! Here it is, I got 'em! Oh, put him together. I don't care what you do. Just put him down. Put him together. Where's his arm? His arm, oh! Okay, okay, do something! Get some tools, get something! A crowbar, a hammer! Don't hurt him! # Everybody look around 'cause there's a reason to rejoice, you see # # Everybody come out and let's commence to singing joyfully # # Everybody look up and feel the hope we've been waiting for # # Everybody be glad because our silent fear and dread is gone # # Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully # # Just look around, You owe it to yourself to check it out # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # Oooh! Hey! Oooh! # Everybody be glad the sun is shinin' just for us # # Everybody wake up into the mornin' into happiness # # Hello, world, it's like a different way of livin' now # # And thank you, world, I always knew that we'd be free somehow # # In harmony let's show the world that we've got liberty # # It's such a change for us to live so independently # # Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully # # Just look around, You owe it to yourself to check it out # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Everybody be glad because the sun is shinin' just for us # # Everybody wake up into the mornin' into happiness # # Hello, world, it's like a different way of livin' now # # Thank you, world, I always knew that we'd be free somehow # # In harmony let's show the world that we've got liberty # # It's such a change for us to live so independently # # Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully # # Just look around, You owe it to yourself to check it out # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # Yeah! All right! Hey! # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Brand-new day Brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Brand-new day Brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day # # Can't you feel a brand-new day ## Whee! Hello? - Where are we? - This must be the back door. I don't think the killers of the Wicked Witch of the West... ...should be using the back door. You know what I mean? Cheetah says it's a shortcut. - Good-bye, Cheetah. - Good-bye, Dorothy. Bye. Whew! It's open. Hello? Hello in there! Wait! - Wait a minute. - Does this look familiar? Guess who got had? Barnum said there's a sucker born every minute. I was there when he said it... ...but I never thought I'd be one of 'em. Phony! You're nothing but a phony! The Wizard's out! He's not here! Lies! No more lies. You charlatan! I've seen men shot for less. - You're a terrible man! - I'm sorry! - Sorry? - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Phony! Everything they say about me is true. I'm a phony! I got no right to be pretending to be the Wiz! I've got nothin'. Hocus-pocus. I'm just plain old Herman Smith from Atlantic City. Atlantic City? Atlantic City? You mean, you're from New Jersey? Mm-hmm. I'm just a second-rate politician from District Seven. "Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent. " Penrose! Incompetent? Ha-ha-ha! That's me. I'm incompetent. So much so, I could never get elected to public office. Not because I didn't try. I tried everything. Look, look! I ran for everything. Alderman, councilman, assembly leader! I became a laughingstock. I couldn't even get on the ticket! Finally, in desperation, I ran for dogcatcher! I like animals. Don't get me wrong. I was at the end of my rope. I plunged myself into the campaign. One desperate grandstand play. You know what I did? I rented a hot-air balloon! Hot air! That's a perfect vehicle for you. No, no, no! It was a beautiful Fourth of July day! I planned to fly over the boardwalk and the beach... ...and throw my... Aaah! Throw my leaflets to the astonished crowds below. My motto was... "Vote for Smith, your best bet to catch that pet. " But just when I got up in the balloon... A terrible storm came up... ...and blew me into the clouds. I got lost. I landed here in Oz. They'd never seen a hot-air balloon like mine before. And I know I should have told them the truth... ...but they proclaimed me the Wizard... ...and I needed the job. And you mean... ...you sent us to kill Evillene... ...knowing... we might never come back? She would've killed me. She would've found out I had no power, and took over Oz. That's no excuse. Come on. Please, please don't go. I live... I live here all alone... ...in terror... ...that someone will find out... ...that I'm a fraud. Please... ...just stay with me for a little while and talk. You can talk to me crazy... ...call me names. What's the matter? Now I'll never get my brain. Nor my heart. Or my courage. But you don't need them now... ...because you've had them all along. Scarecrow. Scarecrow? You're the one who figured out how to find the Yellow Brick Road... ...and how to destroy Evillene... ...and every smart move we've made. Didn't you? Didn't you? And, Lion... ...you wouldn't even give up when Evillene strung you up by your tail. And, Tin Man... ...you have more heart than anyone I've ever known. Honest? Yes. You never needed anything from the fake Wizard anyway. # If you believe # # Within your heart you'll know # # That no one can change # # The path that you must go # # Believe what you feel # # And know you're right because # # The time will come around # # When you say it's yours # # Believe there's a reason to be # # Believe you can make time stand still # # You know from the moment you try # # If you believe # # I know you will # # Believe in yourself # # Right from the start # # You'll have brains # # You'll have a heart # # You'll have courage # # To last your whole life through # # If you believe in yourself # # If you believe in yourself # # If you believe in yourself # # As I believe in you ## What about you, Dorothy? You'll never get home. Me? I guess you're stuck with Toto and me. It's Glinda, the Good Witch of the South! She has great powers. Hello, Dorothy. Please, is there a way for me to get home? Dorothy, you were wise and good enough... ...to help your friends find what was inside them all the time. That's true for you, also. Home? Inside me? I don't understand. Home is a place we all must find, child. It's not just a place where you eat or sleep. Home is knowing. Knowing your mind, knowing your heart... ...knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere. # If you believe # # Within your heart you'll know # # That no one can change # # The path that you must go # # Believe what you feel # # And know you're right because # # The time will come around # # When you'll say it's yours # # Believe that you can go home # # Believe you can float on air # # Yes, click your heels three times # # If you believe # # And then you'll be there # # That's why I want you to believe in yourself # # Yes, right from the start # # You've got to believe # # Believe in the magic right there in your heart # # Go ahead believe all these things # # Not because I told you to # # Now, go ahead and believe # # Believe in yourself # # Ooh, yeah, believe # # Believe in yourself Ooh, yeah # # Yeah, yeah believe in yourself # # As I believe in you ## You mean, I could have gone home... ...by clicking my heels three times? Uh-huh. Dorothy. Can you do something for me? They've had what they've been searching for in them all along. I don't know what's in you. You'll have to find that out for yourself. But I do know one thing. You'll never find it in the safety of this room. I tried that all my life. It doesn't work. There's a whole world out there. And you'll have to begin... ...by letting people see who you really are. Success... ...fame and fortune... ...they're all illusions. All there is that is real... ...is the friendship... ...that two can share. That's beautiful. Who said that? I did. Oh, Dorothy. I'll think of you all the time. And I will miss you... ...every day. Even if I had to go back to that junk pile... ...even as Teenie's seat cushion, I wouldn't mind... ...because I have known real love. Oh, don't rust yourself, now. Oh, Dorothy. If it hadn't been for you... I'd still be back on that pedestal... ...afraid to live. Me, too. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for being my friends. I'm ready now. Think of home. Home. # When I think of home # # I think of a place # # Where there's love overflowin' # # I wish I was home # # I wish I was back there # # With the things I've been knowin' # # Wind that makes the tall trees # # Bend into leaning # # Suddenly the snowflakes that fall have a meaning # # Sprinkling the scene # # Makes it all clean # # Maybe there's a chance for me to go back # # Now that I have some direction # # It would sure be nice to be back home # # Where there's love and affection # # And just maybe I can convince time to slow up # # Givin' me enough time in my life to grow up # # Time, be my friend # # Let me start again # # Suddenly my world's gone and changed its face # # But I still know where I'm goin' # # I have had my mind spun around in space # # And yet I've watched it growin' # # And if you're listenin', God # # Please don't make it hard # # To know if we should believe the things that we see # # Tell us should we run away # # Should we try and stay # # Or would it be better just to let things be # # Livin' here in this brand-new world # # Might be a fantasy # # But it taught me to love # # So it's real real to me # # And I've learned # # That we must look inside our hearts # # To find # # A world full of love # # Like yours, like mine # # Like home ## # Come on and ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Come on, ease on down ease on down, down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Come on, ease on down ease on down, down the road # # Pick your left foot up when your right one's down # # Come on, let's keep movin' Don't you lose no ground # # You just keep on keepin' on the road that you choose # # Don't you give up walkin' 'cause you gave up shoes # # Ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Come on, ease on down ease on down, down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Come on, ease on down ease on down the road # # Don't you carry nothin' that might be a load # # Come on, ease on down ease on down, down the road # # 'Cause there may be times when you wish you wasn't born # # And you wake one mornin' just to find that your girl is gone # # You know that feelin' only lasts a little while # # You just stick with us # # And we'll show you how to smile again # # Get 'em up, goin' down # # Ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down # # Ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down # # Ease on down # # Get 'em up, get 'em up ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down # # Ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down # # Ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down # # Ease on down # # I'd like that I want to ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down down the road # # Ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down ease on down # # Get 'em up, get 'em up ease on down # # Ease on down ease on down # # Come on, ease on down # # Get 'em up, goin' down # # Ease on down get 'em up, goin' down # # Ease on down ease on down # # Get 'em up, get 'em up ease on down the road ## |
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