[ Chattering ]
[ Instrumental ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
[ Man ]
Hope you stick in the mud.
[ Chattering ]
[ Man Vocalizing ]
[ Chattering ]
[ Man ]
God, boy, you stink as a driver!
[ Vocalizing Continues ]
[ Man Scoffs ]
[ Horn Blows In Distance ]
[ Chattering ]
- [ Man ] Hey. Hold it, fellas. Wait.
- [ Man #2 ] Quiet.!
- [ Man #1 ] Quiet down.
- [ Man #3 ] No,you're kidding.
No. No. I gotta- I-
I'm with my family tonight.
I'm with my family.
Forget about it.
No, they're-
These men aren't going out again.
I want you to punch us out.
I don't wanna come in.
I got an unbreakable date.
With my wife.
My wife.
With my wife, you moron.
My wife!
jesus Christ.
The Palisades caved in.
- All night we gotta work.
- [ Men Groaning ]
- [ Man ] Oh, come on.
- No way. Forget about it.
Forget about it.
No way!
Hey, Chick, there is no way
we're gonna work tonight.
Right.
[ Tapping Cigarette Out ]
- [ Man ] Bravo.!
- [ Applause ]
[ Chattering ]
Last one out's a rotten egg.!
- [ Squealing ]
- Shh.
Oh, Tony, don't yell at the kids.
I don't want anything to go wrong.
Your mother's terribly nervous.
Get in the car.
Don't yell at the kids.
Please. Don't yell.
Everybody takes it out -
Maria, get in that car.
- Angelo, where are your shoes?
- Get in the car. Come on, Maria.
You can't go without your shoes. Here.
Hey, Tony, bring another sweater too.
A heavier sweater.
- Maria, have you got your pajamas?
- [ Woman ] I've got the pajamas.
Okay. Oh, Tony, get Angelo's bicycle
from in back too, will ya?
- I don't think he heard ya.
- Okay. I'll get it. I'll get it. Never mind.
[ Maria Whining ]
Come on. Get in there.
Sit down. All right.
- [ Boy ] Where's Mom?
- Sit back in the seat.
- Where's Mom?
- She's gone to get Angelo's bicycle.
[ Boy Chattering ]
Here. You get the back.
Got it? Okay.
How about it? All right?
- Yeah.
- Watch your fingers.
- Want it closed?
- Wheel. It's that wheel. It's -
- Keep the trunk-
- Oh, well. That's all right.
- I'll drive.
- Okay. Get in the car, kids.
- All right. Watch your fingers.
- Everybody in now.
- [ Maria ] I don't wanna go.
- Get in the backseat.
- Come on. Give me a kiss.
- Okay, Mom. We're all set.
- Okay, okay.
- Bye, Mom.
Get your fingers in.
Good-bye. Get your fingers.
- [ Engine Starts ]
- Wait a minute, Mother.
Mom, listen.
If anything happens -
Anything. I mean, if they're impossible,
I want you to call me.
I don't care if it's day or night.
Do you understand?
- Yes. All right.
- You hear what I'm saying, Ma?
- Yes.
- Because I don't want any slipups on this.
I don't want you getting chickenshit
and not calling me.
- Darling, I can take care of them.
- I don't want you saying...
''Mabel's having a wonderful time.
I don't want to disturb her''...
while one of my kids
is lying there bleeding.
- All right.
- Okay?
- All right.
- All right. Take off. Let's go.
Don't break my head. Sit down.
Everybody back. Everybody back.
Okay. All right.
Get back. Sit back.
- Everybody in?
- [ Mabel ] Go.
All right.
Turn your wheel. Okay.
- [ Child ] Mom.
- Okay.
Okay. All right.
Wait a minute.
Okay. Go. All right.
All right. Go.
- [ Car Stalls, Restarts ]
- Go. Good-bye. Go.
- Go.
- [ Child ] Bye, Mom.
That's it. Go.
Shouldn't have let 'em go.
I don't know.
I shouldn't have let 'em go.
I shouldn't have let 'em go. Damn.
I shouldn't have let 'em go.
[ Humming Softly ]
[ Whistling ]
- [ Opera ]
- [ Woman Singing In Italian ]
[ Man And Woman Singing ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
- [ Stops ]
- [ Man Shouting ]
[ Man ]
Hey. Easy, easy, easy.
[ Chattering ]
[ Man ]
Keep walking. Keep moving.
Oh! Oh!
Vito, go out there and get 'em started.
I wanna talk to Eddie.
What's wrong?
You worried about somethin', Nick?
Yeah, yeah. He's got somethin'
on his mind.
Why don't you go.
I want to talk to him.
- Okay. But if you need a good ear.
- Right. Thanks.
- Come on. That's right.
- [ Chattering ]
I promised her on my life
I'd be home tonight.
I promised her that this night was gonna be
a love night, a special night, somethin'.
I didn't know this goddamn thing
was gonna happen.
Water main in the middle of the night.
Bet you didn't even call her.
I can't call her.
How am I gonna call her?
She already sent the kids
to her mother's.
She'll climb the walls,
break dishes, scream.
Mabel's a delicate, sensitive woman.
Mabel's not crazy.
She's unusual.
She's not crazy, so don't say she's crazy.
This woman cooks, sews,
makes the bed, washes the bathroom.
What the hell is crazy about that?
I don't understand what she's doing.
I admit that.
But I think I know.
She's mad at me.
- Well, call her.
- You see, there's something wrong
with her, Eddie.
- Call her.
- She's not like a normal person.
This woman, you know,
she could get hit by a car...
burn down the house.
jesus Christ.
I don't know what she can do.
[ Phone Rings ]
Hi, baby.
Listen, I'm in trouble down here.
The -The water main downtown here burst.
The thing busted.
The whole thing is busted...
and there's water all over the place.
So -
I'm down here now.
I love ya.
It's fine, Nick.
Please believe me. It's fine.
[ Sighs ]
You all right?
Yeah.
Baby, I'm gonna make this up to ya.
I'm not goin' to work tomorrow.
I'm gonna take the day off tomorrow,
and we're gonna be together tomorrow.
All day.
All right, sweetheart?
Yeah.
Okay, sweetheart.
You're my girl.
[ Man ]
Hey, Nick.! Come on, Nick.! Come on.!
Get on there. Come on.!
[ Piano ]
[ Piano Continues ]
[ Humming Piano Tune ]
[ Billiard Balls Rattling ]
[ Chattering ]
[ Man ] Sometimes it looks that way,
and sometimes it doesn't.
[ Humming ]
- Hee.
- Hi.
Hi.
[ Humming ]
Hey, you know Nick stood me up tonight?
After I got the kids
over at my mother's and everything.
- [ Scoffs ] Why do I care?
- [ Man Laughs ]
My name is... Garson Cross.
- Yeah, I know.
- You -You know?
I know, Garson.
You got a light?
- Sure.
- And a drink?
Sure. I just got paid.
I'm loaded.
What's your pleasure?
Seagram's.
Seagram's and what?
Seven Crowns.
Seagram's and Seven Crowns and what?
In the bottle.
Bartender, give me a glass of ice.
[ Ice Rattling ]
[ Humming ]
- There we go. Over here?
- Put it right there.
- And, uh, take that Seagram Seven...
- Seagram Seven.
- and pour the lady a drink.
- Pour the lady a drink.
- How's that?
- Keep goin'.
- Keep goin'?
- Keep goin'.
Okay.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Ah.
Boy, you were thirsty.
[ Man ]
Oh, I thought they were yours.
[ Mabel ]
? I get no kick from champagne ?
? Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all ?
? So then tell me
how can it be true ?
? That I get a kick out of you ?
- Sing.
- I can't sing.
- Sing.
- I can't sing.
? I get no kick from a plane ?
? Flying too high
with some guy in the sky is my
Listen. Why don't we go to someplace
where it's a little quieter?
I, uh -
I'd take you to my place, but, uh...
it's not very tidy.
Could we go to your place?
We could get some fresh air
and get out of this smoke.
Why don't we go to your place?
- Hmm?
- Yes. Yes.
Okay.
Why don't we just do that.
- What do I owe you, bartender?
- $3.50.
Good luck.
Are you all right, sweetheart?
[ Mumbles ]
[ Ignition Indicator Buzzing ]
[ Buzzing Stops ]
Oh, please don't be sick.
just lean on me.
Can you open your eyes?
There you are. You're up now.
- This is the place, right?
- Mm-hmm.
What -
Hey, cut it out.
Listen, buddy.
Knock it off.
Hey, don't! Put - Put me -
Cut it out.
Let me go.
Let... go.
[ Groaning Softly ]
Funny thing.
just a funny thing.
Nick!
No, uh, Garson. Garson Cross.
I'm the one that
brought you home last night.
You don't have to get up.
It's, uh...
pretty early in the morning.
I - I'm sorry if I disturbed ya.
I - I like to get up early in the morning,
walk around and talk to myself.
Are you in there?
Who -Who's Nick?
You're not married, are ya?
[ Rattling Doorknob ]
I'm gonna have to leave
in a minute now.
Listen, if this Nick fella's on your mind...
and you consider me
some kind of a threat to him...
or if you're trying to punish him with me
or me with him, forget it!
I never met the man.
And don't blame yourself for me
if that's what you're doin'.
Are you in the shower?
Okay, as long as the shower's runnin',
then you're all right.
At least I hope you're all right.
- [ Groans ]
- What's the matter?
I'm not in the mood for games, Nick.
Nick Longhetti. Mabel Longhetti.
[ Imitating Sound Of Blows Landing ]
Want a cup of coffee?
I'm gonna get a cup of coffee.
[ Sighs ]
I just don't understand that woman.
It's my fault.
Been divorced twice.
[ Sighs ]
I just can't seem to keep a woman.
Mama?
Well, what do you think of him?
I mean, I know you can't like him.
He's not your son, but -
Mama!
Kids?
Kids! Kids, where are you?
Nick. Nick, where are my kids?
- [ Man ] Come on.
- [ Man #2 ] Hey. It's cold out there.
[ Chattering ]
[ Man Singing In Italian ]
[ Man ]
Come on.
[ Singing Continues ]
- [ Man ] Nobody home, huh?
- She's home.
[ Man ]
Yeah.
[ Man ]
Mabel?
- Make yourselves at home.
- Nick, can I get a glass of water?
Yeah. Eddie, help 'em
make themselves at home.
Find a seat, fellas.
Make yourselves comfortable.
Mabel.
- Hey, Nick, can I use a glass?
- Yeah.
What's the matter?
Hey.
Hey.
Nothin'.
- Who's with you?
- Everybody.
- Did you eat?
- No.
Aw, Nick, you must be starving.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I'll, uh-
I'll get somethin;
I'll get somethin'.
I'll -
I'll be right out there.
[ Man ]
Hey. Come on, man.
Everything cool, Nick?
What do you say, big man?
- All right?
- How's Mabel?
- Yeah. Good.
- Everything all right?
Good. Come on, fellas.
Sit down and relax.
- She don't have one of her headaches?
- No. Don't be silly. Sit down.
Don't worry about it.
Let's go, fellas.
Make yourselves at home here.
jimmy, would you please -
the living room.
Hey, this is Mabel.
Come on out here, honey. For-
You know everybody?
This is Mabel. For everybody.
- Hi, Mabel.
- Hi.
Hi.
- Would you like some spaghetti?
- [ Mouths Word ]
- Spaghetti?
- Yeah, it's cool.
- Do they all want spaghetti, Nick?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- How are you, Mabel?
- Oh.
- Clancy, how are you?
- All right.
- How are you? Oh.
- How you feeling?
-just fine. Fine. Fine.
- All right. All right.
God bless ya, darlin'.
All right. That's enough. Clancy, come on.
[ Snaps Fingers ]
- [ Man Chuckles ]
- [ Man #2 ] Hello, Mabel.
[ With Deep Voice ]
Hello, Bowman. How are you there?
Okay. I'll go in the kitchen
and get the spaghetti.
- [ Snickering ]
- Come on, fellas. Go inside, will ya?
- What the hell is the matter with you?
- [ Mabel ] Hey.!
Get out of this kitchen!
Look at - Look at your shoes, Eddie!
They're full of mud.
- [ Eddie ] Oh, come on.
- [ Mabel ] Look at your feet.
There's mud all over your shoes.
Get out ofhere.
Hey, Eddie, put me down. Come on.
- Get out of here, and let me do some work.
- [ Chuckling ] Oh, okay.
And cut that out, Eddie!
[ Sighs ]
You want spaghetti?
- Spaghetti again?
- Yes.
- Hold - Hold - Hold that.
- [ Nick ] I'm ready.
- Hold that.
- [ Mabel ] Nicky, did you get the wine?
- [ Nick ] I'm ready.
- What?
- Eddie, you got the wine on?
- [ Man ] Please.
- Eddie!
- [ Man ] Hot stuff.
Wine's on.
All right. Come on.
- Ready with the sauce?
- Yeah.
A little bit at a time.
Hold - Hold a minute.
- You got a spoon?
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- [ Nick ] More.
- Go ahead.
Do you need this spoon? Here.
A little more.
All right, that's good.
- Okay. Yeah.
- All right.
Come on. Bring it out.
Okay.
- [ Mabel ] We got the wine, glasses.
- I need something to put this on.
- Huh?
- This is hot.
- He's got the cutting board in there.
- [ Man ] What?
Gangway. Hot stuff.
[ Man Speaking Italian ]
- Hey.
- Outta the way. Hot stuff, hot stuff.
Sit down.
It doesn't make any difference.
- Anywhere?
- Sit down, fellas. We're ready.
- I'm gonna sit here.
- Down here, Billy.
Hot stuff.
- [ Nick ] Let's hear it for Gino.
- [ All ] Bravo, Gino.
- Yeah, Gino!
- Bravo!
[ Man Clears Throat ]
- [ Nick ] Pass 'em down.
- Comin' down.
Okay.
Here you go.
- [ Mabel ] Whose idea was this?
- [ Man ] It was Nick's idea.
[ Nick ] Everybody get bread
down that end down there?
- [ Man ] Some sauce.
- [ Nick ] Billy, sauce.
[ Man ]
I don't want no bread. No.
- [ Mabel ] What's your name?
- Help - Help yourselves.
- What's your name?
- [ Gino ] You don't remember me?
I was here three weeks ago with Nick.
We had dinner.
- Bread?
- Veronica is my wife.
The kids were playing outside.
You don't remember that?
I remember your wife.
I don't remember you.
Hey, Nick, guess what she is.
[ Speaks Italian ]
''Crazy. '
- Want a beer?
- [ Mabel ] Sit down.
- Who wants beer? Billy? Morton?
- No. No, thanks.
- Aldo? james?
- No, I'm drinking wine.
[ Nick ]
How's the sauce?
- What's your name?
- [ Man ] Terrific.
Grimaldi. Vito Grimaldi.
A friend of Nick's.
[ Gino ]
Thanks. Hey, pass the sauce. Why not?
Need a little more sauce, boys.
[ Man ]
Give me the sauce.
[ Man ]
I gotta play catch-up here.
[ Man ]
I'm having trouble.
Billy.
Twirl it.
Use the spoon.
Twirl it against the spoon.
- Like that?
- No.
- Oh, man. Come on.
- Oh, no.!
- [ Man ]jesus Christ.
- It's all over my shoes.
- Christ's sake!
- Can't take you anyplace.
Shit.
- [ Man ] Now eat it. Go ahead and eat it.
- Look at ya.
[ Mabel ]
You want another plate?
- That's dirty. Here. Give him some more.
- Please.
- [ Mabel ] There. That's good. Here. Here.
- There. Get rid of this.
Get rid of that.
Get rid of that.
[ Chattering ]
- [ Nick ] Pass the cheese here.
- Here's some more junk, man.
Whoo!
-[ Man ] Now, where was I?
-[ Nick ] Take some cheese.
[ Man Chuckles ]
- [ Man ] Cheese.
- What's your name?
Me? Oh, uh, uh, Morton.
joseph.
- Cheese?
- I'm Mabel.
- How are you?
- All right. How about you?
I'll hold it.
And, uh, uh...
next to you.
- What- What's your name?
-james Turner.
-james Turner.
- I work with Nick.
I'm Mabel Longhetti.
I live with Nick.
[ Man ]
Take that.
And you - handsome.
[ Whistles ]
Yeah. You.
Billy. Billy Tidrow.
- Billy Tidrow.
- Yeah.
- Billy Tidrow.
- Can I have some bread?
- Tidrow.
- Tidrow.
- Tidrow.
- Tidrow. Right.
- Right. Right.
- And they call me Mighty Mouse.
- [ All Laughing ]
- Mickey Mouse.
[ Billy ]
Mighty Mouse.
[ All Laughing ]
Raise 'em.
Here's to everybody.
Welcome. God bless you.
Um, eat a lot and live a long time.
- Hey.
- [ Chattering ]
[ Man Bangs Table ]
To Mabel.
[ All ]
To Mabel!
[ Mouthing Words ]
[ Chattering ]
[ Man ]
Don't worry.
Aren't you gonna ask
where the kids are?
They're at your mother's.
[ Vito ]
How many kids do you have?
- Three.
- [ Vito ] Three.
Isn't that right, Nick?
- As far as I know.
- [ All Chuckling ]
- [ Vito ] I've got seven.
- Seven?
- Seven.
- [ Man ] Seven.!
- Seven kids.
- [ Man ] That's what he said. Seven.
Handsome, how many you have?
Me? I got a bunch of'em.
Let's see.
I got Robert,
I got William.
I got, uh, Mary.
- Um-
- [ Men Laughing ]
I got Pee-Wee.
Um, I left one out.
Pee-Wee's 1 4.
There's one more somewhere.
- Um, I gotjohn.
- [ Man Laughing ]
[ Clancy ] That's a good Irish-Catholic boy, huh?
[ Laughs ]
[ Man ]
He's a good somethin;
[ Nick ] You know, I've been noticing
that the neighborhood has a lot more kids.
Did you notice that?
All up and down the street.
All up and down.
Little kids, baby carriages,
kids crawlin'.
What is that when there's a lot of kids?
Is that in the air?
- It's somewhere.
- Hmm?
I mean, you go eight, nine months,
you don't see a kid.
A couple years pass by, never see a kid.
All of a sudden,
I see a lot of baby carriages, a lot of babies.
- I think it's in the air.
- [ Burps ] Excuse me.
- No, the moon.
- What?
Yeah. Remember when
the two astronauts went up to the moon?
They went and played golf.
They played golf.
So, some of the dust came down.
- ''Stronzium'' or, uh -
- [ All Laughing ]
- Maybe the woman smell that.
- [ All Laughing ]
[ Laughing Continues ]
The moon.
Ah, the moon.
No.
Listen, what I mean is you can go
eight, nine months, you won't see a kid.
- [ Man ] Well, it takes that long.
- No. I never see a kid a couple of years...
all of a sudden I see a lot of baby carriages,
a lot of babies.
[ Billy ]
A couple of'em gotta be mine.
[ Laughter ]
No, I think that's in the air.
- [ Man ] Well, that'll be-
- No, think back nine months ago.
- There has to be some romance going on.
- Oh,yeah.
[ Man #2 ]
I don't know.
- [ Man ] It wasn't me.
- [ Laughing ]
No?
I think it's in the air.
[ Man Chuckling ]
[ All Laughing ]
- [ Man ] Oh, ho, ho, ho.
- [ Man #2 ] ''In the air. '
[ Billy ]
Well, that is where it is.
[ Billy ]
Well, that is where it is.
[ Man ]
Billy, where's that?
[ Men Laughing ]
- [ Man ] How about that, Billy?
- [ Billy ] They was really gettin'down.
[ Gino Singing In Italian ]
[ Man Vocalizing Aria ]
- Bravo! Bravo!
- [ Applause ]
Bravo, Willie!
[ Chattering ]
[ Nick ]
Encore.!
[ Singing ''Celeste Aida'from Aida ]
[ Mouthing Words ]
[ Singing Continues ]
[ Mouthing Words ]
[ Men Chuckling ]
- [ Man ] Bravo.! Bravo.!
- [ Applause ]
Bravo! Bravo!
- Word, word, word.
- [ Mabel ] Okay, okay.
Now a song from you, Billy Tidrow.
No, I can't sing.
I can't sing a note.
Well, come on and dance then.
Anybody can dance.
No, that ain't too cool.
I love this face.
I love that face.
Nick, this is what I call
a really handsome face.
- [ Nick ] That's enough.
- Okay. Come on. Let's dance.
- Nah, nah, nah.
- Look at this muscle.
- That's enough.
- I never saw such muscles.
I bet he doesn't fit in a suit.
- Yeah, I fit.
- Mabel,you had your fun. That's enough.
Come on. Come on.
Let's dance, Aldo.
- Come on.
- All right. Everybody's tired. That's enough.
Come on.
You wanna dance?
- No.
- Um -
- Vito Grimaldi.
- [ Nick Shouts ] Get your ass down.!
[ Phone Rings ]
[ Ringing Continues ]
Hello. Hi, Ma.
Hello, Mama!
No, we're not doing anything.
We're just eating.
What's the matter?
What do you feel?
Where? In your abdomen?
What does that mean?
Did you call a doctor?
Look, Ma.
Don't get stubborn about doctors.
It's my mother.
She's got a pain in her abdomen.
[ Scoffs ]
[ Sputters ]
Hmm. HO3-7399. So call them.
Ma, I can't call them.
What am I gonna tell 'em?
You gotta call 'em. You gotta explain to 'em
where the pain came from.
Ma, did you eat somethin'bad?
You ate fish?
You ate fish in a restaurant.
What restaurant?
You ate fish at Hamburger Heaven.
What did you do that for, Ma?
[ Gino ] Uh, thank you for the dinner, Mabel.
It was very nice.
[ Nick ]
You'rejust like a baby. You know that?
- [ Nick ] Look, I'll be over.
- See you later.
- I'm comin' over. I'll be right over.
- Thanks for everything.
You want Mabel? Huh?
- All right. I'll be over.
- See you later, Nick.
- All right, darling. Comin' over.
- See ya, Mabel.
- Hey, listen.
- See you later, Nick.
- When your mother gets sick, boy...
- Take it easy.
it often comes to mind
they're not gonna last forever.
[ Door Closes ]
[ Mouths Word ]
- [ Mabel Sputters ]
- Yeah. [ Sputters ]
- Right. [ Sputters ]
- I was trying to be nice.
- Wacko!
- I like your friends.
I know it.
I'm a warm person. I was -
- I know that.
- I'm not one of those stiffs that you like...
with their noses up in the air.
Bung, bung.
With their noses up in the air.
Oh, oh, how awfully nice.
Oh. Mmm. Thank you. Oh.
I know how to treat those guys.
I want them to feel-
I love those guys. I love 'em.
I love anybody you bring in the house, Nick.
- I know that!
- I want 'em to feel comfortable.
I want 'em to feel -They just sit there like
a bunch of- I want to -
What in the hell are you talking about?
You didn't do anything wrong.
- It was just the way you was lookin'-
- ''Sit down, Mabel!''
- ''Sit down!''
- Billy was looking at you this way.
- [ Yelling ]
- He don't know you don't do any harm.
It's the way the guy looked at ya.
Here's the guy.
He's looking at you like this.
He don't know what to do.
This monkey don't know what to do.
He thinks you mean somethin'.
He don't know you don't mean it.
I don't mind you being a lunatic.
Nicky.
Not lunatic.
I didn't do anything wrong?
What, Nicky?
Nicky, tell me.just -
Nicky, don't be afraid
to hurt my feelings.
Tell me what you want me to -
how you want me to be.
[ Sputters ]
I can be that.
I can be anything.
You tell me, Nicky.
- [ Opera ]
- [ Man And Woman Singing In Italian ]
[ Singing Continues ]
[ Singing Continues ]
[ Singing Continues ]
[ Stops ]
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Pop.
What are you doing here?
- How did you get in here?
- Through the window.
Are Maria and Angelo here too?
My mother? Everybody?
Well, your father's trying to get
a little sleep. I mean, he's -
Should I let them in,
or should I take the books and get out?
Oh.
- She goes crazy.
- Tony, come here.
- [ Mother ] Is everything all right?
- [ Tony ] Couldn't be better. Come on in.
[ Mother ]
Come in and shut that door.
[ Door Closes ]
Oh, Nick. I'm sorry to wake you up.
Really I am.
Where's Mabel?
- Bathroom.
- Is she angry?
No, I think she's washing.
Oh.
My-
They-They worked you
awfully hard last night, didn't they?
- Mm-hmm.
- That was a heck of a long shift.
Mmm.
Well, I'll tell you. I'll go make you a nice cup
of hot coffee. How about that?
- No, darling. I'm gonna try and get some rest.
- [ Mabel ] Hello, Ma.
Hello. Hi.
- Where are the kids?
- Uh, upstairs.
- Why are they upstairs?
- Uh, books. Uh, h-he had to come back-
- Tony had to have his books.
- Didn't we take all of that last night?
We piled the whole car full of everything.
Could we have this discussion
in the living room?
Because I'm trying
to get some sleep.
No offense,
but I'd really like to get some sleep.
[ Kisses ]
Sorry, sweetheart.
Guess what, Pop.
I just learned how to whistle
back and forth like this.
[ Whistling Softly ]
And I whistle with two fingers
stuck in my mouth.
[ Whistling Softly ]
- And I whistle lots of other ways too.
- Congratulations.
You learn fast, Angie.
We're gonna watch the ball game
on TVtonight, aren't we, Dad?
- I don't know, Tony. I'm tired.
I'm trying to get some rest.
- How about it, Pop?
- How about what?
- How about my whistling? Can you do it?
[ Both Whistling ''This Old Man'' ]
[ Mabel ] What the hell is going on here?
These kids are supposed to be in school.
- Maria, get up. On your feet.
- It's okay.
On your feet.
Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
Come on. Maria.
Will you come on.
- [ Nick ] Mama.
- Don't call me Ma, Nick. My name is Mabel.
I don't like to be called Ma.
- Come over here anyway.
- N -They've gotta go to school.
Come over here anyway.
[ Sighs, Mutters ]
- [ Sputters ]
- All right, kids. Back in bed.
All you kids, back in bed.
Back up here.
All together now.
Come on now.
All together again.
[ All Whistling ]
''jingle Bells.''
No good whistling.
just air,just air.
[ Blowing ]
[ Maria ]
Grandma, where are you?
- Grandma, where are you?
- Grandma, where are you?
Grandma, where are you?
- Is something wrong?
- Grandma, in bed.
- No, I'm gonna make the coffee.
- In bed.
- You didn't want any,
but I'm gonna make some now.
- Come on. Everybody in bed.
- I just don't think I can.
- Come on, Grandma. In bed.
- Everybody in bed.
- I - I'll just sit, Nick.
- You gonna come back with us?
- No.
Come on.
Here comes Grandma.
Here comes Grandma.
[ Chuckling ] Here's Grandma.
- Hi.
- All right.
Hi, sweetheart.
How are all of you?
I'm glad to see you.
It's a nice family, isn't it?
So, what'd you do last night?
Oh, we had fun.
We baked a cake,
and he rode his bicycle, and -
[ Mabel ]
I got a great idea.
When you get home from school,
we're gonna have a party.
We're gonna talk about terrific things, and we're
gonna do some very interesting, important th ngs...
after you get back from school, okay?
- [ Tony ] But I can't find my darn books.
- Well, uh -
- I'll find 'em if it takes all my darn life.
- Yeah.
[ Angelo ]
I'll be in the car.
- Mom, you gonna drive 'em or not?
- Sure.
- Sure, I'll - I can take them right now.
- Okay.
- I'll get 'em. We'll -We'll go.
- Yeah.
- Oh, Nick, I'm so sorry... to wake you up.
- It's all right, darling.
- No, it was nothing.
- Yeah, it - it was something.
- You were trying to rest.
- Don't worry about it.
- Good-bye, sweetheart.
- Good-bye, darling.
- And sleep now and rest.
- Yeah.
- [ Mabel Sputters ]
- She'll bring you the coffee later.
- All right, darling.
- I won't do it again.
- We're going to school now,
and I'm gonna take 'em.
- [ Mabel Mouthing Words ]
- And we'll be gone so you-all can rest.
- Terrific. Terrific.
Okay. Bye.
[ Grandma ]
Tony, come on.
[ Mouthing Words ]
[ Mabel ]
Okay, kids. Chop-chop.
Five, four, three, two, one,
zero, blast off!.
- [ Door Closes ]
- [ Phone Rings ]
- [ Mabel Sighs ]
- [ Ringing Continues ]
Hello?
Hello?
Nick, it's the city.
They need you.
Tell 'em I'm not comin' in.
He says he's not comin' in.
Tell 'em I'm not Superman!
What the hell
do they think I am? Superman?
He says he's not Superman.
What the heck
do you think he is? Superman?
[ Phone Bangs In Cradle ]
[ Mabel Snickers ]
- What did you do? You hung up?
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Kisses ]
- [ Mabel Sighs ] Oh.
- You gonna be all right?
- Yeah.
[ Kisses ] After work I'm gonna
see my mother. I got the guilts.
Okay.
You gonna be all right?
Why do you keep asking me that?
Think there's something
wrong with me or something?
That I'm wacko or something?
[ Sighs ] Boy, I can hardly wait
for the kids to come home.
All of a sudden I miss everyone.
I don't know why.
[ Man Shouts ]
What time is it, please?
'Cause I'm waiting for my kids in school...
and I don't know what time the school -
Hey, you.
Hey, you've got a watch on.
Will you tell me the time?
I'll go get some of
those chains on your shoes.
Big deal.
Geez louise. Do you have the time, please?
'Cause I'm wait -
Hey, listen, you birds.
I'm waitin' for my kids at school.
Do you mind giving me the time? Do ya?
What's the matter with you?
What's the -
[ Sputters ]
Do you have your tongues?
Big -
[ Sputters ]
[ Mouthing Words ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
Babies, come on.
Come on, babies.
Come on, sweethearts.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
That's it.
Come on.
Vroom!
Okay, come on. Hey, sweetheart.
Hello, hello, hello.
How are you?
Mrs.jensen's coming over with the kids.
I thought we'd have some fun.
Maria, hi.
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh.
[ Makes Kissing Sounds ]
Go. Whoo-hoo!
[ Panting ]
[ Panting ]
Look who won.
Did you win, or did Angelo win?
Oh! Cheater.
[ Panting ]
Oh! Oh!
[ Sighing ]
Whoo! Whoo! Oh!
Oh, I hope you kids
never grow up. Never.
[ Sighs ]
You know, I never did anything
in my whole life...
that was anything
except I made you guys.
I made you and you and you.
[ Pants ]
Oh!
Oh, my head.
What a headache.
- Let me rub your back, Mom.
- Whoo! Help.
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
That feels good.
Why do hands feel so good?
Do you know?
Hey, listen, can I ask you kids
a question about me?
Huh? Can I?
When you see me, you know,
do you feel...
''Oh, I know her. That's Mom''?
Or do you ever think-
I mean, do you ever think of me as, uh -
as, uh, dopey or mean or- or, uh -
No, you're smart, you're pretty...
you're nervous too.
Oh.
Thank you, honey. Thank you.
Give me your hand here, would ya?
Hey, look at that. I didn't even know
what a big hand you had.
- I play ball.
- Look at these lines.
Lookit.
I had no idea you had all these lines.
And you got a great big wrist.
- Boy. Hey, make a muscle for me, will ya?
- Ah, Ma, for God's sake.
Please. Come on. Remember the way
you used to do your arm like that?
Okay. There it is. Solid flab.
Okay. Now let me feel it, huh?
- Is that the best you can do?
- It's the best I can do, Mom.
You see how good this whole thing is?
You see how good it is
we're talkin' like this?
- Do you see how good it is? Do ya?
- Hey, there's thejensens' car!
Oh, hey, come on. Inside. Come on.
Everybody inside. Let's go.
Come on. Come on, Maria.
Let's go. That's it.
Okay, take off your coats.
Okay, keep down.
Keep down.
Okay. Okay.
[ Whispering ]
Here they come.
- Hello! Hello!
- [ Boys Roar Playfully ]
- Uh, I'm Harold jensen. Uh, my son john -
- Yeah, come on inside.
Don't just stand there on the outside.
This is a house where people come in. Hello, hello.
- My wife couldn't make it.
- Oh, yes. Well, I'm sorry.
Tony, you know the kids.
And, uh -And this is Mr.jensen, right?
[ Tony ]
Cmo est usted?
- [ Mabel ] He's speaking Spanish.
- [ Tony ] Bien, bien.
[ Mabel ] Hey. Hey. How about that?
Do you want some tea?
No, thank you.
I just thought I'd drop the kids off.
- I have to pick up something
down at the stationers.
- Ah.
- You're uncomfortable, aren't you?
- Well, no.
Yeah, you are.
just a little bit uncomfortable.
Come on. Come on.
Hey. Come on.
Hey, that's a nice ring.
Come on. Come on. A little smile.
Come on. Come on. Let's have some fun.
Hey, that's it. Come on.
Let's have a little fun.
You wanna play with the kids?
[ Mabel ]
All right. Careful, Angela. Don't drop it.
Okay. Here we go.
Okay. That's it, Tony.
Put it right over on the table, honey.
- Wow!
- What do you think, huh? Huh?
- Wow.!
- Yeah.
Okay, put it right next to the punch.
Right on the table. Okay?
- Okay.
- That's it. Be careful.
That's it. That's it.
Terrific. Right there.
Bravo! Great.
[ Sighs ]
Do you dance?
Oh, that's too bad, because -
Hey, kids, it's time to dance.
You see that? Once they get together,
they're not interested in anything.
That's what you have to break. You have to break
through that and make 'em interested in things.
In, uh, languages,
in singing, dancing.
-jokes even. Fun, everything.
- Can I have my tea now?
Oh, screw the tea.
What's the matter with you?
[ Classical On Radio ]
Hey, you hear that?
You don't believe in miracles?
That's Swan Lake.
That's perfect.
That's perfect!
Hey, kids. Kids. Girls.
This is Swan Lake.
You remember the dying swan?
Come on. That's -
Come and die for Mr.jensen.
Come on, guys. We'll be the chorus.
Come on. You take Tony's hand.
Here. Come on. Come on.
Come on. Tony. Come on.
We'll go around this way,
and we'll be the chorus for 'em.
[ Vocalizing ]
Come on.
Come on.
Die for Mr.jensen.
Okay. Come on.
Come on, girls.
Die for Mr.jensen. Come on.
Come on, Maria. You know the dying swan.
Come on. Come on.
That's it. That's it.
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Bravo! Come on!
They just died for you. Come on.
Yeah. I love you too.
Hold on.
I'll get her.
[ Tony ]
Mama, Pa's on the telephone.
Well, tell him we're in the middle of a party.
Okay. I'll tell him
you don't wanna talk to him.
[ Mabel ] No. Don't tell him that.
That's not what I said. Wait a minute.
Here. I'll get it.
Never mind. I'll get it.
Hello, Nick? Hello.
It's working.
Oh. I'm sorry.
I'm out of breath.
It's working.
Listen, I'm a great mother.
I not only- I not only love our kids...
I love thejensen kids,
I love Mr.jensen.
Ah, they're all wonderful.
They're beautiful.
I'm never gonna be mean again. Never.
Yeah. Mr.jensen. Oh, he was
such a stiff when he came over...
but I got him loosened up.
You know, I got him dancing,
and I got him singing.
- Hello? Hello?
- What's the matter, Mom?
Damn telephones!
[ Exhales Deeply ]
Okay.
Okay, now we've got
one of two choices.
We can, uh, do our homework...
or we could, uh, make costumes.
[ All ]
Yea!
You want to make costumes? Okay.
All right. Maria, you take the girls up
and put on some eye shadow and lipstick...
and some of those crazy,
you know, costumes you do.
And, uh, Tony, you, um,
do the pirate thing...
with the -with the patch on the eye
and some, uh, earrings and scarves.
You know which ones
I mean, don't you? Okay?
[ Exhales Deeply ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Humming Swan Lake ]
What's your name again?
- Harold.
- Harold.
Your first name?
Harold.
Harold? Oh, you poor thing.
You can't name somebody Harold.
Hey, would you dance with me?
Hmm?
I'm worried about the kids -
about leaving them here with you.
Which kids?
About the - my kids,
leaving them here.
And the reason
I'm worried is that...
you've been actin' a little strange.
Uh, I - I wonder if you've been
aware of that or not.
[ Screen Door Closes ]
Who did all this? Where did all these -
Who took all these clothes out?
- Who did this?
- Me.
Who took- You?
Why did you do this?
Why?
Why? This is not your house.
Come on. Get up. Get up.
Now get dressed!
Don't stand there! Get dressed!
Take this off and get dressed.
Come on.
Put it on.
Pick this all up now.
Where's your brotherjohn?
john.
john.
[ Children Giggling ]
Adrienne, take off those clothes.
Come on. We're going home.
Daddy will help you dress.
-john, where's your clothes?
- Downstairs.
- Go downstairs and get 'em.
- Yes, sir.
- I'm awfully sorry.
- Yes.
I really wanted it to be nice.
I know you did.
[ Woman ]
Maria. Maria, where are you going, Maria?
- Maria. Come here, Maria.
- Maria, come here. Come over-
- Maria, come here.
- Please, Maria.
Why aren't you having
any clothes on, darling?
Who took your clothes?
This kid is naked.
All right, Mama. Come here.
Now, who took off your clothes?
Tell Daddy.
Who took off your clothes? Hmm?
Who took off your clothes?
Please tell Daddy.
- Mama.
- Who? Mommy?
Mommy took your clothes off, darling?
All right. Come on.
We'll get some clothes on.
Hurry up.
[ Harold ] All right. That's it.
just-just leave her alone. Leave her alone.!
[ Yelling ] What the hell is goin' on here?
What are you doin' in my room?
- Can I talk to you a minute?
- Get out!
Nick.
[ Yelps ]
See what you made me do? Huh?
Having a party?
Get out of here.
Take your kids and get out of here.
-john, where's your shoes?
- Upstairs.
Go up - Go upstairs,
find 'em, put 'em on.
Adrienne, help pick this stuff up.
Good. All right.
Come on. Clean up.
Forget about that.
just get out.
Come on, honey.
Let's go. Come on.
john.
- What?
-john. Well, come on. Where's your shoes?
I can't find 'em.
Where you goin'?
Look, I'm fed up with you,
your kids, your wife and your whole family!
I'm gonna get my kid!
[ Mama ]
Ooh.! Stop it.!
Nicky.! Nicky.! Nicky.!
- Mama, for Christ's sake!
- You're gonna kill him.! Stop.!
Get out ofhere.!
Get out ofhere.!
- Get out.! I'll kill you and your kids.!
-john, come on.
Now get outta here
and stay on your side!
What the hell are you doin'?
Get outta here!
What are you doin'? Get out!
[ Nick ]
Is Dr. Zepp there?
Who's this?
Katherine, where's Dr. Zepp?
Well, I've been waiting. He's not here.
Well, where could he be, Katherine?
No, nobody's sick.
Mabel's crazy.
Where's Dr. Zepp?
- I mean, where is he, Katherine?
- He's on his way.
- Well, goddamn it, he's not here!
- Please don't talk to me like that.
I'm sorry, Katherine.
Now, could he stop off anyplace or what?
- No.
- I mean, is it gonna be five minutes
or 1 0 minutes? What is it gonna be?
jesus Christ!
jesus Christ!
Never mind.
Don't get up. Don't move.
You don't move.
Ma!
Ma.! Ma.!
No.just stay there, or I'll kill ya.!
Don't need your help!
Get my own cigarettes.
Don't need anybody's help.
My own.
You're gonna be committed.
Goin' to the hospital
until you get better.
You just, uh -
You got embarrassed,
and you made a jerk of yourself. That's all.
[ Sputters ]
I make a jerk of myself every day. I'm -
[ Mouths Word ]
I'm not sore at you.
I mean,you hit me.
You never did that before. I-
[ Sighs ]
Didn't feel that, if that's what you-
you feel bad about.
I-
[ Sighs ]
I always understood you,
and you always understood me...
and that was always just...
how it was, and that's it.
''Till death do us part,'' Nick.
You said it.
Remember? He said, ''Do you,
Mabel Mortensen, take this man?'
- ''I do. ' ''I do, 'Nick.
- [ Mouths Word ]
''I do. '
Remember, I said...
''It's gonna work
because I'm already pregnant. '
Don't let that mind
run away on you now.
Remember how you laughed?
- Don't, Mabel.
- Nick. You laughed.
- Don't.
- Don't you remember?
And he was mad as a big toad.
Don't do that.
Hey, don't be sad.
I know you love me.
- Hey.
- We had plenty of time
to find that out, didn't we?
You and I know.
You see that, Nick?
That's how close we are.
And they can't pull us apart.
They can't force us apart.
'Cause...
we're together.
I don't know who you are.
Don't say that, honey.
I'm not sore at you.
I'm not mad or anything.
Mabel...
don't.
You sit there and pretend you-
All of that doesn't mean-
And you know.
You know.
It's us.
- You're going with them out there on the outside.
- Be still.
- And we're supposed to be on the inside.
We were always there.
- Shut up!
You little...
teeny...
skinny, little...
bug.!
[ Knocking On Door ]
[ Knocking Continues ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
[ Man ]
Nick. What's wrong?
It's all right.
It's all over.
Hello, Mabel.
Oh, Mabel.
Gee, you're beautiful.
[ Door Closes ]
- Hello, Margaret.
- Hello.
- You look great.
- How are ya?
What's up?
Nobody here needs a doctor.
I had the hiccups a little while ago,
but I got rid of'em.
What's up?
Has she been drinking?
Sure.
Oh, sure. I've been drinking.
This is a drink, huh?
Sure.
- Mabel, did you take a pill?
- [ Mouthing Words ]
Did you take any pills?
- A pill?
- Mm-hmm.
Ah.
- Is morphine a pill?
- Mmm.
Sure, I've taken pills. I've...
taken vitamin pills and, uh...
sleeping pills.
Uppers, downers, inners, outers.
What did you tell him, Mama?
That I drink?
Yes. You drink.
Listen, Zepp.
I- I am a little upset. I-
That's why I- I- I act upset
a little bit, I guess...
and I look upset, but...
occasionally I calm down.
You do calm down.
I do have anxieties, though.
[ Whispering ]
Don't let this woman in my house.
By the staircase.
She's guarding that staircase.
Up above are my children
in my house.
This. This. This. This. That.
Mabel, what's troubling you?
What trouble?
Well,you said you were upset.
Did you and Nick have a fight?
Nick, I get -
I get the idea there's...
some kind of a conspiracy going on here.
I mean, you've been looking at me
so quiet-like and, uh -
- He's got something in that bag.
- [ Zepp ] Don't be concerned about this bag.
He's going to try to imprison me
with something in that bag.
- Don't be concerned about this bag.
- Am I right?
- Don't be concerned about this bag.
- Am I right, Nick?
Am I right, Nick?
Am I right, Nick?
Mabel, would you please
make me a drink?
Ah!
[ Laughing ]
- You -You want a drink, Zepp?
- Yeah.
- You want a martini, Zepp?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- You wanna have a little fun?
You don't mind making a drink?
- No, I don't mind.
Nah! You want a drink, Zepp?
Okay.
The ice is in the kitchen and -
and the vermouth is in the -
It's right past her.
Vodka. On the left there.
You make the drink, Zepp,
and... I'll watch them.
Doctor. Doctor, aren't you
gonna give her a shot?
No! No!
[ Mouths Words ]
[ Margaret ]
Mabel, we're trying to help you.
[ Sputters ]
Is that what you're trying to do?
- Yes.
- Is that what you're trying to do?
- Is that what she's trying to do, Nick?
- We're trying to help you.!
You be quiet.
One, you're acting crazy.
And, uh...
for what?
There's no reason.
The man's here on a call - a social call.
Nobody is sick.
Why are you so insecure?
Hmm?
Everybody loves ya.
Do you love me, Nick?
This woman -This woman has to go!
- I love ya.
- Nick.
- That's right. I love ya.
- Think of the children!
This woman can't stay
in this house anymore!
You can't stay here!
- For Christ's sakes -
- Listen. Doctor.
- Doctor!
- Hey. Let go of me.
- My son tells me stories.
- just don't grab my bathrobe.
He tells me stories of the talk-
the small talk, the little things...
- [ Mimics jabbering ]
- the insecurity.
- [ Zepp ] Mabel.
- Go ahead. Go ahead.
Tell me what your son says.
Go ahead. Tell me what he says.
- Go ahead.
- I'll tell you what he says.
- He says you give him nothing!
- [ Nick ] Hey.
- You're empty inside.
- Ma.
- Your children are naked! They're hungry!
- Ma.
That's what he said!
Doctor.
Last night you brought a man in the house!
My son is a good boy, Doctor.
He's a good boy!
He never says anything!
- He doesn't say anything!
- [ Nick ] I never said that.
- I didn't say that.
- Margaret. Margaret.
- This woman is crazy!
- Margaret.
- Margaret.
- She's crazy!
- [ Nick ] Will you go upstairs? [ Chuckles ]
- Please, Margaret.
- Now, go upstairs.
- Listen to me.
- She's a grown person.
- I won't go - I won't go upstairs!
- She's a grown person.
- Doctor.
- [ Nick ] Doc, take her upstairs.
- She's a grown person. Please.
- Doctor, she's crazy!
- She's an adult,
and I would like to talk to her. Please.
I have five points, Nick.
I figured it out, and -
They're for me.
- For us.
- [ Nick ] Mabel.
One is love.
Two is...
friendship, and three is...
our...
comfort.
And four is...
I'm a good mother, Nicky, and -
Mabel, I love you.
Um -
I belong to you.
That's it.
Those are my five points.
That's what I -
I have five points. One.
F-Five... points.
- Come here. Now listen to me.
- [ Yelps ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Shouting ]
[ Whimpers ]
[ Sniffles ]
[ Whimpers ]
[ Whimpers ]
- [ Mumbling ]
- Baby..
you know how I feel about you.
- You're a great mother.
- [ Mabel Muttering ]
[ Nick ] Take deep breaths.
Take deep breaths. I love you.
You've made me happy.
Take a deep breath.
Take deep breaths.
- And if I've made a mistake, I'm sorry.
- Nick.
- Nick. Nick, I need -
- Sit down!
I'll knock you right on your ass!
- Mabel.
- [ Muttering ]
- Baby.
- [ Muttering ]
I love you.
I'd like to give you a little sedative
to calm you down.
- Please.
- Relax.
- Mabel, it won't hurt you.
- Doc.
- Hey, Doc, Drac, back.
- Mabel.
- Get back to your coffin. Get back.
- Mabel, this -
- I will never hurt you.
- Back. Back!
- Leave me alone.
- I won't hurt you.
- [ Ranting ]
- [ Zepp ] My God, I'm part of this family.
Would I hurt you?
- [ Nick ] Mabel.
- Back.
Mabel...
this'll make you rest,
this little sedative.
- It'll calm you down.
- I'm calm.
You're sick!
You're sick. You need a rest.
Your eyes are terrible.
- [ Nick ] I love you.
- Lie down. Lie down here.
You're awful! You're sick!
Get a doctor for him!
He's a very sick man!
Get him!
- Get him! Get him!
- Mabel.
- [ Zepp ] Mabel, you're gonna have
a nervous breakdown.
- No!
Get him away from -
- You must go to the hospital.
- Hospital!
Don't, baby. Stop that!
Nick! Nick! Don't let him! Please!
I - I promise. I won't want anything.
just let me stay in my house, please.
Nicky, I promise.
I don't want anything.
I'll be - I'll be content.
Please. Please, Nick. Please.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- What about my children?
- What about the children?
- I love you.
- Can they go with me?
- I love you.
Please don't say no, Doctor, please.
Listen, they need help.
They-They need care.
- The children.
- All right, darling.
- Let them come with me because -
- Listen to me.
- No. They've gotta be protected.
- Listen to me.
- I want to protect my children.
- I love you.
They're subject to insanity.
- Try, baby. Stop that.
- Insanity, morning, noon and night.
- Stop talking.
- Morning, get up.
Go to bed. Go to sleep.
That's insanity, isn't it?
No. No. I'm gonna take 'em with me.
No. No, I'm gonna take 'em with me
because I'm gonna protect 'em.
You understand me? They're mine,
and I'm gonna protect 'em!
- I love you!
- [ Yelling ]
I love you. I'll lay down
on the railroad track for you.
If I made a mistake,
which I did, I'm sorry.
But so what?
What's the difference? I love you.
- Now relax. Come back to me.
- Nick.
- Relax and come back to me.
- Nick.
- Get out of here!
- Get out of here!
I'll kill ya!
Don't touch me.
You're not gonna make me.
Taking me anyplace.
And you! You're gonna
let him take me. I'll kill -
Yes.
[ Muttering ]
[ Muttering Angrily ]
- [ Mabel Shouting ]
- Nick, I need your help now.
[ Margaret ] You cannot come in here.!
Leave those children alone.!
Leave those children alone.!
[ Margaret ] Please. You cannot take-
Don't take the children.
I'm not mad at you.
Please. I understand.
[ Zepp ]
Please, let me handle this.
- [ Margaret ] I know, but-
- Let me handle this.!
[ Margaret ]
Mabel, be calm. Be calm, Mabel. Mabel.
[ Zepp ]
Let me handle this. Mabel, please.
- Let me handle this.
- [ Margaret ] I understand you, Mabel.
- No, no. You can't have the child.
- [ Tony ] Leave my mother alone.
- [ Zepp ] Let her take them.
- [ Margaret ] No, no, no.
- Mabel. Mabel.
- [ Zepp ] Mabel, don't.
[ Mabel ]
Where are my children?
[ Zepp ]
Oh, Mabel. Oh.
- [ Angelo ] Help!
- [ Margaret ] Don't handle her.! She's sick.!
- Nicky, help me! Nicky!
- [ Zepp ] Please.
All right.!
All right.!
That's enough.!
[ Margaret ]
Please. Please.
Here. Here. Please, Nick. Nick.
- [ Margaret ] Please, children. Children.
- [ Zepp ] Mabel.
- Mabel, I gotta talk to you.
- [ Margaret ] Please. Please.
- [ Zepp ] Let the child go, please.
- [ Margaret ] Please.
Mabel.
Mabel, look at me.
I have a piece of paper here that says -
[ Piano ]
[ Man Vocalizing ]
Hey, what do you say, Nick?
What time is it?
- I heard you had some trouble at home.
- [ Man ] Cut it out.
What? Something to do
with the kids or somethin'.
I don't want anybody discussing my affairs.
- All right, Nick.
- Is that clear?
Well, yeah. Yeah.
But I'm not the only one.
Don't discuss my affairs!
Well, all right, then. Okay.
I'm sorry.
- What are you bananas doin'?
- Hey, Nick. What's with you and Mabel?
What happened?
[ Clancy ]
Hey, Nick. What's the story?
Anything I can do for ya?
Anything Angie and I can do for ya?
I called your house last night. Tony answered.
He give you the message?
He said something about, uh,
Mabel being in a nuthouse. Is that right?
She got a screw loose. She needs some time, okay?
Is that what you want to hear, you asshole?
Ah, fuck off.
[ Man ]
I gotta find another way to make a living.
[ Vito Singing In Italian ]
- [ Billy ] Nobody say nothin'about Mabel.
- [ Man ] Yeah.
- I'll be getting to work pretty soon.
- [ Billy Chuckling ]
Please don't say nothin'about Mabel.
[ Singing Continues ]
[ Chattering ]
[ Singing Continues ]
[ Billy ]
Bring it on, baby.
[ Nick ]
You're a silent son of a bitch.
Don't give me that shit!
From the moment I got here, that's all
anybody's been talkin' about - Mabel.
Well, don't say you don't know
when you do know!
[ Eddie ]
I didn't say I don't know.
You goddamn Mexican Indian,
don't you walk away from me!
You got something to say to me, say it!
But don't you walk away from me!
[ Billy ]
Hey, hejust went over.!
[ Man Shouts ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
I want to stop off at my kids' school
and pick up my kids.
Comes to mind, I don't know my kids.
I'm never with 'em.
They're a little shook right now.
I want to take them to the beach.
You want me to go with ya, Nick?
I'll go with ya.
- Thank you very much, Miss -
- Miss Hinkley. I'm the school principal.
Where's Tony?
The other lady was gonna get him.
- Mrs. Flowers.
- What time is it?
What time is it?
This dame don't have the time.
- It was 1 0:00 when we got here.
- Never mind. Here he is.
Tony.
- What's up, Pop?
- Tony, get in the back of the truck.
- Are they going -
- Take these two kids -Yes.
Put 'em in the back of the truck.
Don't let 'em fall down.
Put that safety bar up.
Stay by the back.
- And no kidding around back there.
- Are they gonna be here tomorrow?
- Yeah!
- Oh.
Here. These should fit ya.
See if they're your size.
Whatever they are, I'll wear 'em, Nick.
Hurry up and get dressed.
And make sure you bring
a shirt and a sweater.
And a pair of shoes.
Nobody gets pneumonia when I'm the father.
Kids!
How's this, Pop?
Hello, Dad.
What a day, Nick. I haven't been
to the beach without my wife in 1 2 years.
We used to live in the water
when I was a kid.
''Fish'' they called me.
I was thin, see.
Lips all blue.
Shakin'. I was always lookin' for girls.
My kids, they're all grown up now.
My brother, Marco,
he's a college graduate.
Communist. Couldn't keep a job.
Too many big ideas.
Reads too much.
I say let the girls read.
They love to read.
You know what I mean?
- Okay, let's enjoy ourselves, okay?
- Okay.
- [ Maria ] Yes.
- I want to talk to my kids too.
Talk to your kids?
They never listen.
Why should they listen?
I never listened.
Did you listen?
- I mean, did you listen?
- All right. Right here.
Come on. Up here.
We'll plop down right here. Come on.
- [ Maria Groans ]
- Come on. Come on.
Come on.
Hey, Nick.
I'm usually a lot of fun, right?
But to see a guy like Eddie
fall and break all his bones -
- Holy shit. I mean, what a fall.
- All right. Knock it off, will ya?
I mean, we're here to have a good time.
We're having a good time.
We came to play with the kids.
So let's play with the kids.
Otherwise we go home!
- Come here.
- You're right, Nick. I'm sorry. You're right.
Come on.
You wanna go play?
Come on. Let's go.
We'll go build... a castle.
- [ Tony ] Yeah.
- What do you think? Here?
Right here.
Maria! Maria!
Maria.!
Pack it. Pack it.
Dig deep and get the -
[ Vito ]
Don't worry about it.
[ Vito ]
Hey, Nick.
- You want a beer?
- No. No beer for me. Thanks.
I'm going in the back.
I'm gonna ride with the kids.
[ Engine Starts ]
[ Singing ''La Donna Mobile''
From Rigoletto ]
Can I have a taste, Pop?
Sure. Here.
Not too much now.
Okay, Tony. That's enough.
Can I have some, Pop?
All right.just a sip.
Not like your brother.
Can I have some, Dad?
All right.
just a little bit.
Not too much now.
See, you gotta be careful
on a funny day like today.
We could all get too - too drunk.
But, you know, a little beer, it's good.
You sleep like rocks.
There you go, Tony.
- Not too much now.
- [ Maria ] Can I have some, Pop?
[ Nick ]
That's enough now.
I'm sorry I had to send your mother away.
I'm sorry for everything.
[ Child ]
Yahoo.!
[ Child Laughing ]
All right. Now be careful.
[ Squeals ]
Come here. All right.
Come on now.
Can you walk?
All right. All right.
Get that stuff. All right.
- Get that stuff.
- [ Vito ] I'll put it here for you, Nick.
- Let me put it here.
- Get those things there.
All right. Okay.
Come on, darling.
Better get inside because...
you're gonna fall down.
Come on. Come on.
- You're coming to work tomorrow, right, Nick?
- Huh? Yeah, I'll be there. Let's go. Up.
[ Children Mumbling Incoherently ]
All right. Turn around, son.
There we go.
Angelo, are you hungry?
You don't want to eat?
I'm going downstairs.
I'm gonna grab something.
You don't wanna come?
Come on.
You and me.
You want to sleep.
You banana, you.
All right.
Good night, son.
What about you, Tony?
You hungry?
You wanna take off your clothes?
What? Do you feel dizzy?
You want to sleep, huh?
All right. All right.
See you in the morning.
Maria, you hungry?
Well, listen, I'm goin' downstairs, and if you
wanna keep me company, you're welcome.
No?
Lay down on the bed with me.
[ Man Vocalizing ]
[ Chattering ]
[ Vehicle Approaching ]
Hey, Nick.
Come on.
[ Vocalizing Continues ]
[ Nick ]
Take your clothes off.
- Go ahead. Take off!
- Hey!
[ Vocalizing Continues ]
- Hey.!
- Hey.!
- [ Man ] Don't get caught.
- [ Fades ]
[ Chattering ]
- All right.
- [ Man ] Okay. Let's go.
[ Man Laughing ]
- Hey!
- Hey!
All right. I'm goin'.
You don't wanna come?
I'll see you tomorrow, Eddie.
You sure you don't wanna come home?
- There's plenty of room there.
- Nah.
All right.
All right. That's it?
She'll follow you.
[ Horn Honking ]
[ Gino Chattering ]
[ Nick ]
All right.
[ Chattering ]
Here's what we're gonna do.
She's gonna follow the truck- Betty.
Now you follow Betty.
That way you'll get to the house.
- All right. You all right here?
- Yeah.
- [ Nick ] How are you? I didn't see you there.
- [ Woman ] Oh, Nick, I'm dyin'to see Mabel.
You'll see her. Don't worry.
You'll see her.
- I can't wait to see her.
- All right.
Go on. Pull it out.
[ Horns Honking ]
Hey!
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
[ Chattering ]
All right. Go on in.
Go on in. That's right.
[ Gino Singing In Italian ]
Lots of people!
Come on, darling. Come on.
Come on there.
There we go.
Go right in. Go on.
How are ya?
Hi. Hi.
Okay.
[ Chattering ]
[ Man ]
Here I come. Break open the booze.!
- Let's get something to drink.
- Yeah. Come on.
[ Chattering ]
[ Man ]
How are ya? How are ya? Where ya been?
[ Man ]
It's wet out there. God, I'm soaked.
[ Chattering ]
[ Gino ]
Everybody's here.
- Hello, Nick. How are ya?
- [ Man ] Where's Mabel?
- [ Woman ] Hi, Nick.
- Nick.
Hey, Nick.
Hey.
Hi, Nick. Nick.
Hey, Nick. Nick.
- Ah, you're, uh -
- Victor's wife.
Oh, yeah! How are ya?
jesus Christ! [ Chuckling ]
You're a terrific kisser.
- Thank you. Listen, darling.
- [ Woman ] You got a lot of people here.
There's nothing to drink here.
No wine, no beer, no Coke. Nothing.
Yeah. Uh, well, she had a lot of friends.
With Mabel coming home and all,
don't you think you ought to have
at least a little something?
- All right. I'll take care of that.
- All right, darling.
Good thought, Nick.
Good thought.
[ Man ] Hey, Nicky, baby.
How are ya,you little fruitcake?
[ Laughing ]
[ Man ]
Hey,you got your confirmation suit on?
Hello, Nick.
- What are all these people -
- Adolph, how are ya?
- Fine. Fine.
- Good to have you here.
Nick.
Dino's looking for you,
says he's got a message.
- What kind of message?
- I don't know.
- What's the message?
- He just said it's a message.
Good message? Bad message?
Where's my mother?
- Mama?
- Come over here.
Come over here.
What is all this? Are you crazy?
Have you gone out of your mind?
Mama, we said we were gonna have a party
when Mabel came home, right?
What party? The family.
Only the family.
What the hell kind of a party is this?
There's no Coca-Cola in the house.
- No wine, no beer, nothing.
- What are you talking about, Coca-Cola?
- Coca-Cola.
- What's going on here?
Hello, Adolph.
You're one of the family.
Nancy.
Hello.
- What are you doin' here?
- You called me.
You told me to be here. Remember?
Eddie's not here.
You know Eddie.
- Oh,you came.
- Yes.
I love Mabel.
I know you do.
I love Mabel.
You think this is all right?
All these people here?
- Yes.
- You don't think it's too much?
You really want to know what I think?
You're a shit.
You sent her away.
You could have picked her up.
It is too much.
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
Hey, Nick.
Can I talk to you a minute?
- Can I talk to you?
- What's the matter?
Look, I don't think I oughta stay here.
I don't know Mabel, and I don't know too many
of the people inside - especially their wives.
What do you think?
Hey.
Everybody back inside!
You can't stand out on the porch!
Surprise party.!
Everybody's gonna be lookin'?
Can't stand out there!
Hey, you! Come on! Inside!
Let's do it right!
- Nick, your mama has to talk to you.
- What about?
Nick, these people can't stay here.
They gotta go.
All right. You do it!
- Okay. Okay.
- I know it's wrong!
I can't do it!
Can't tell 'em not to go - to go.
- Okay.
- You do it. Go ahead.
- Okay.
- Mama, you want me to do it?
- I'll do it.
- Do it.
Stop sweating.
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
Everybody, quiet.
Please, quiet.
- Please, everybody.
- Quiet!
- Mama has an announcement.
- [ Man ] Hey. Shut up.
- Shh.
- Quiet! Everybody, please.
- [ Chattering ]
- [ Man ] Shut up.!
Quiet in here, please.
- [ Chattering Subsides ]
- Now, you know that Nicky loves you all.
I love you all. Now, you should know better
to come here on a day like this...
when Mabel's
coming out of the hospital.
I'm not blaming you,
but I'm saying the girl'll be here any minute.
And you must go home. Immediately.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- Please.
Wait a minute. I want to
thank you all for coming.
Thank you very much. And I'm gonna give
my respect to Mabel from every one of ya.
I'm sorry I got you over here,
suits and ties and -
But Mama's right.
just too many.
[ Man ]
All right.
[ Chattering Softly ]
[ Man ]
See ya tomorrow.
[ Nick ]
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
[ Margaret ]
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
I'll go get the car, okay?
[ Chattering ]
If you don't wanna go, don't go.
But I'm saying if you wanna come, come.
Yeah, I'll come.
Let's go have a drink. Come on.
Come on and have a drink.
We'll see you later.
- Thanks a lot, Nick.
- Okay, Nick.
[ Chattering ]
- Bye-bye, Mama.
- Bye-bye.
- [ Woman ] Are you getting the car?
- Good night, Nick.
Bye-bye.
[ Speaking Italian ]
- Arrivederci.
- Arrivederci.
[ Man ]
Take care, Gino.
[ Chattering ]
- Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
- All right.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
[ Men Chattering ]
[ Man ]
Hey, Nick. Hey, Nick.
[ Man ] Hello, Mabel.
How are ya, sweetie? Take care, honey.
Anytime. Whenever you want.
I'll pick you up.
- You will love it.
- See ya, honey.
- Hi, Mabel. I know you don't know me...
- [ Horn Honks ]
but I'm a friend of,uh, Nick's.
Vito. You know Vito. Grimaldi.
I'm Mary, his wife.
And if you-
Anything you need,just let me know.
Please let me know.
- [ Mary ] It's really wet out here.
- [ Nancy ]
Oh, Mabel, darling. You look wonderful.
God love ya. You look terrific.
I love you, sweetheart.
- I'll see you soon, okay?
- How are ya?
[ Man ]
Boy. Phew.
Mabel. You look fine.
Rested.
I'm so happy to see you, darling.
Oh!
Are you hungry?
Would you want something to eat?
- No.
- No?
Well, will you say hel -
your hellos to everybody?
- [ Zepp ] You saw Nick?
- Here are all the people.
- Nick.
- I'm very happy to see you, Mabel.
Must have been hard.
I'm sorry to have been the one
to have done the committing.
- I know.
- But I know that you know...
that it was the best thing.
So I hope we can be friends again.
Don't talk about the past, Doctor.
[ Woman ]
Hello, Mabel.
It's Tina. Hi, Mabel.
You look great. Great.
[ Zepp ]
The children have been fine. No calls, no fever.
- Hello, Mabel.
- Mama's good, and Nicky's always healthy.
You look wonderful.
just wonderful.
And we're happy to see you again...
and let us all
cut our welcoming speeches short...
because I'm very, very hungry...
and I'm sure you must be hungry too.
Okay, Adolph.
We're all going to eat.
[ Woman ] You look great.
You really look good.
- [ Grandma ]
How do you do? I'm Mabel's mother.
- You look good. God, you look sexy.
-And this is her father George.
-[ Adolph ] She looks wonderful.
- She does look wonderful.
- Oh.
[ Adolph ]
Very, very good.
[ Woman ]
And we'll go to lunch, or go to a movie, huh?
- We'll go, right? Okay?
- [ George ] I could use a nice, hot cup of coffee.
[ Adolph ]
And I'm sure that you are, like me...
- All right?
- a man ofbreeds...
that is hungry.
[ George ]
Let's see if we can find a cup of coffee.
[ Grandma ] Of course you're hungry.
We'll do something about that.
- [ Adolph ] Thank you very much.
- I don't think the young people
think enough about how important food is.
- Could I see the children?
- They go about eating like birds.
Why don't you wait a minute?
You go in there, they're gonna start to cry...
and you're gonna start to cry,
and everybody's gonna get so emotional.
- I think it's better. Sweetie.
- I've gotta see the children now.
- Yes. You can see them.
- Where are they?
They're in there.
Go ahead, dear. Go in.
- [ Margaret ]
Why shouldn't she see the children?
- [ Grandma ] You do think she looks good?
- [ Maria ] Hi, Mom.
- [ Tony And Angelo ] Hi, Mom.
Hi, Mom.
[ Kissing ]
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Mom.
I love you, Mom.
[ Maria Mumbles ]
- I love you, Mama.
- Okay. Enough now.
I'm sorry.
Is everything okay, Mom?
Yes.
It's just been such a long time.
Oh, hello, banana.
Hello, my little banana.
How are ya?
I missed you.
Where's Maria?
Maria, come on over here
and see me.
You want me to come over to you?
- If you want to.
- You want me?
If you want to.
All right.
I'll just stay here then.
[ Angelo ]
Are you feeling better, Mom?
Haven't got any more stomachaches?
I mean, haven't got any more headaches?
No. I- I'm just trying very hard
not to get excited.
Okay.
No emotions now.
I really want to be calm.
[ Angelo ]
I really did miss-
- That's enough now.
- Are you tired or anything?
You look great, Mom.
How are ya?
I'm gonna kiss your hand.
[ Kissing ]
How you-
Did you miss us?
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
- Oh, Doc.
- Oh. No, it's -
- Gee, I'm terribly sorry.
- No, it's my fault.
No, I pulled the chair out,
and I thought you saw me.
Look, hon.
Everybody is having a good time here,
but I think we should leave you alone...
so that you can relax.
You're staying for dinner.
I would stay for dinner...
but, uh, uh, it's unbelievable.
If you're gonna have spaghetti,
I can't stay.
- George.
- I can't stay because I can't eat it.
- Sit down!
- No offense. I just don't like spaghetti.
- I'm not a spaghetti man.
- Sit down, George!
- Don't you tell me to sit down!
- Dad.
Hey.
Come on.
I'll sit down here with you, Dad.
You can sit anywhere you like, hon.
I'm very happy to see my family.
Do I look pretty, Dad?
You look beautiful, hon.
- You think I'm gonna be all right?
- You're gonna be fine.
just fine.
Mabel, honey.
Why don't you go over
and sit with your mother?
Go sit with your mother, hon.
Come on. Excuse us for a minute.
Come on. Don't worry.
It's all right.
- I'm with you. There's nothing you can do wrong.
- I don't know what to do.
- There's nothing you can do wrong.
- I don't know what you want.
I just want you to be yourself.
This is your house.
-The heII with them! Up theirs! The heI with them!
- I don 't know what to- I can 't.
-just be yourself. Be yourself.
- Can't.
[ Nick Mimics Mabel's Sputters ]
Come on.
[ Kiss ]
Be happy. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
That's right. That-a-girl.
Look.
[ Mimics Mabel's Sputters ]
Ba.! Ba.! Ba.!
That's it, huh?
All right. Give me a ''ba-ba. '
[ Whispers ]
Ba-ba.
Give me another ''ba-ba. '
[ Whimpers ]
Ba-ba.
- Give me a better ''ba-ba.''
- Ba-ba.
No! A real ''ba-ba.''
- Come on.
- [ Sobbing ]
All right. Everybody in the dining room.
We're gonna have a party.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Let's make it like a house. Come on.
Let's enjoy ourselves.
Let's have a little warmth here.
Tina, you ready?
We're ready.
Go on in, Doc. Come on.
- Mama, talk to the people. Be a host.
- Okay, okay.
- Hi. Hi, Zepp.
- Hi.
- [ Maria ] Hi, Dr. Zepp!
- Hello, Tony.
- Hi. Hi, Tony.
- Hi!
- Hi, Maria.
- Hi, Angelo.
Hello, sweetheart.
Hi, Maria.
- Okay. [ Chuckling ]
- Hello, darling.
- I'll get this one, Dr. Zepp.
- Sure, sweetheart.
- I - I -
- [ Zepp ] She's a great helper.
- [ Grandma ] Maybe they need water.
- I think so.
- Here.
- [ George ] Here's a chair. Here.
Have you got a chair?
You're a good girl.
[ Margaret ]
That's a good girl.
Everybody sit down.
- Here's another chair.
- [ Margaret ] Adolph, you sit here.
There you are.
Thank you.
Can I help you out, Maria?
- I'll get here. You get over there.
- Zepp, you're here.
- Thank you.
- Watch your bag.
[ Margaret ]
Mabel.
[ Maria ]
Thank you, Tony.
- All right.
- All right. Here we are.
Tina, we're ready.
Stop acting like strangers. All right.
So, what was it like up there? Terrible?
Good? Bad? What?
Everybody's here.
[ Mabel ]
Seems like a party.
You should have seen it before.
We had 60 people here.
- Nobody thought it was a good idea
to have a lot of people...
- That's right.
but I thought it was a good idea.
'Cause I think friends are a good idea.
And good times are a good idea.
- Right, Zepp?
- Right on.
- Right, Adolph?
- Absolutely so.
You see?
I mean, uh, no sense
talking about the past.
The past is the past.
That's dead.
Forget about that.
Good times from now on.
[ Hits Table ]
That's what we're gonna have.
Things are gonna get
better and better and better...
and then they'll get better than that,
and then they'll get better.
[ Children ]
Yea!
Tony, did you see that?
Did you see your mother wink at me?
- Could I have a cup of tea?
- [ Margaret ] Yes, dear.
Tina's preparing some things
in the kitchen, if you'd like.
I'm gonna go in there a minute.
[ Tony Whispers ]
[ Margaret ]
Zepp, uh, do you think she's all right?
- She's a little crazy in -
- Oh, Mama.
- The girl's fine.
- They gave her a release, you know. They gave -
- Ma, but did you see her wink at me?
- Yeah, I saw her.
- But something in her eyes, you know.
- [ Mabel ] Tina.!
- Oh, no, don't. Don't.
- [ Mabel ] You're so fat.!
- My God, girl.!
You were 1 20 pounds when I left.
- All right, Mama. That's enough.
You were- What happ-
How did you get so fat?
Oh, Tina,you've gotta go to one of those places
and take some of that off.
Look at your ass, Tina.!
Oh, my God, Tina.!
That's fantastic.! That's-
Did they see-
Did you see Tina's ass?
Nick, that ass is as -
I've never seen anything so -
Oh. Tha -
Her ass is this big, Nick. And when
I went away it was - it was this big.
Did you see that ass?
Did you see it?
You can hurt Tina's feelings
by talking about her ass.
It's okay. I do have a big ass.
I wish I had some.
Well, there's nothing like 'em.
They're all beautiful. Fat or small.
- [ Margaret ] Don't worry about the asses.
- [ Angelo ] Can I have some water?
[ Margaret ] Mabel. I've got a big ass.
She has a big ass.
Mommy has a big -
We all have big asses. So what?
[ Grandma ]
Did you hear that? Isn't she a bitch?
- [ Zepp ] Aunt Betty has got a small one.
- [ Woman ] Yeah, I wish I had some ass.
I - I wish -
I wish you'd all... go home.
[ Margaret ] Oh, we came for a party.
We'd like to stay for a party.
- Nick and I want to go to bed together.
- [ Zepp ] Oh, Mabel.
- Mabel, calm down.
- [ Grandma ] Mabel, darling, the children are here.
Don't talk like that.
- Calm down, Mabel.
- [ Mabel ] Let me - Let me start over.
- Hello, Dad.
- Hi, honey.
- Hello, uh, Mama.
- That's better. That's better.
Hello, darling.
Now, take it easy, won't you?
- Hello, Tina.
- Hello.
Hello, Mama.
- Hello.
- Hi, Mabel.
- How do you do, Adolph?
- Fine. Wonderful.
- Hello, Dr. Zepp.
- Hi.
Hello, Angelo.
- Hello, bananas.
- [ Children ] Hi.
How am I doin'? Okay.
Listen, I really wish
that you would go home, though...
because Nick and I
do want to go to bed together.
You know, we can't talk or anything
while you're still here.
[ Nick ]
Now, watch your language.
- [ Grandma ] George, I think we should go.
-just sit down.
I told you to sit down.
It's not the right time.
- [ Mabel ] Oh, horse manure.
- It's time to go, George.
- It is not.
- Mabel, take it easy.
Let's just -Your- It's your first day...
and you're letting yourself go,
and you know that's not good.
- [ Children ] Naughty Mommy.
- [ Mabel Whispers ] Fish party.
- ''Fish party''?
- [ Margaret ] That's funny.
''Fish party.'' That's funny, Mabel.
- [ Angelo ] Naughty, naughty, naughty.
- [ Tony ] Naughty.
- Mabel, everyone here's your friend.
- I got a joke.
- This jo - Oh, Nick, this is funny.
- Mabel, relax and calm down.
Let me tell this one.
And it's nothing bad or anything.
Um, this is a joke, uh, uh...
about a census taker who was, uh...
up in the Ozark Mountains and, uh...
he went up to this -
to this little shack, you know...
and he knocked on the door and -
[ Margaret ]
In the Ozarks? In the Ozarks?
- Yeah. Like any kind of mountains.
- I know thatjoke.
- Kind of a hillbilly.
- We know thejoke.
- [ George ] We don't know it.
- [ Margaret ] Well, I know it.
- [ Children Giggling ]
- [ Margaret ] That's funny.
That's very funny.
Too -Too exciting.
Too much excitement.
[ Mabel ]
Do you like it, Nick?
Uh, uh...
- It's all right.
- Then, uh...
-[ Zepp ] Hold on, Mabel.
-[ Margaret ] Come on.
he said-
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ Zepp ]
Relax. Be calm.
[ With Deep Voice ] You must pay the rent.
You must pay the rent.
- You must pay the rent today.
- [ Zepp ] Funny.
[ High-pitched Voice ]
I can't pay the rent. I can't pay the rent.
I can't pay the rent today.
[ Deep Voice ] You must pay the rent.
You must pay the rent.
You must pay the rent today.
[ High-pitched Voice ]
I can't pay the rent. I can't pay the rent.
I can't pay the rent today.
[ Deep Voice ]
I'll pay the rent.
[ High-pitched Voice ] My hero.
[ Deep Voice ] Curses. Foiled again.
[ Laughter, Applause ]
[ Tony Shouting ]
[ Nick ]
That's enough of that. No more.
No more jokes.
That's enough. All right. Sit down.
Sit down.
All right. That's the end of the jokes.
Sit down!
That's the end of the jokes!
Now we kill the jokes,
and we just talk!
''Hello, how are you?'' Conversation.
Weather. Conversation.
[ Margaret ] Conversation.
Look what's talking about conversation.
He doesn't know how to
put two words together.
[ Nick ] Conversation. ''How are you?'
It's conversation. ''What have you been doing?'
- [ Zepp ]jokes are conversation.
- ''Who did you see?'It's conversation.
Yes. Oh, she likes pretty clothes.
- Normal conversation.
- [ Margaret ] What normal conversation?
- Stay out of this.
- I will not.
- Normal talk. Conversation. Weather.
- Let her tell jokes. She's good.
- ''How are you?'' ''Where you been?'' ''Hello.''
- Let her tell stories.
- ''Too hot.'' ''Too cold.''
- Don't you understand?
I don't know how to make it. At the hospital,
they come in every morning and give you a shot.
[ Margaret ]
Please, Mabel, don't talk about those things.
[ Mabel ] Then the nurse takes you
to the toilet, and they, uh-
Then you, uh, go to, uh, uh...
work therapy,
where they teach you games...
and-and how to weave things.
And, uh, they gave us shock treatments...
which are- Those are where electricity goes
through your head and is supposed to-
[ Taps Table ]
Be yourself.
Be yourself.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Simple talk.
Dad...
will you stand up for me?
Sure.
No, I don't mean that.
Sit down, Dad.
Will you please stand up for me?
Mabel, I don't, uh,
know what you want me to do.
Honey, I - I don't understand this game.
Will you just stand up for me?
Don't you hear what she's saying?
Don't you understand
what she's trying to tell us?
- Sit down.
- Oh, Geor-
- Sit down. Sit down.
- Oh.
[ Whispers ]
I can't.
I can't.
- Please.
- [ Margaret ] Please, Mabel. Please, darling.
- Mama, make 'em go away, please.
- Please.
- I can't do it. I'm so tired.
- Please don't cry.
- Please. I think we all better go home, huh?
- Mama, make them go away.
[ Nick ]
All right.
- Good-bye, everybody.
- [ Margaret ] Please, everybody.
Adolph.
- Thank you very much for coming.
- Thank you.
- Mama, get the people's coats.
- Okay.
[ Nick ]
Angela, thank you very much.
[ Mabel ]
Come on.
- [ Zepp ] Oh, Mabel, please calm down.
- [ Mabel ] Leave me alone!
For God's sakes, enough.! Enough.!
[ Zepp ]
Mabel, please.
- [ Mabel Humming Swan Lake ]
- Mabel, get down off that couch,
or I'll pull you down.
Leave my daughter alone, you!
[ Humming Continues ]
It was nice having you here.
Excuse us.
Zepp, we're going to bed.
All right. I want everybody
out of this house this instant.
No long speeches, no good-byes.
Good-bye.
Mama, where's your clothes?
Get the coats. Help the people out.
[ Humming Continues ]
- Mabel.
- [ Tony ] Leave her alone.!
[ Nick ]
Get out.
Please get out.!
[ Humming Continues ]
Bye-bye, Nick. Bye.
[ Tony Speaks, Indistinct ]
Mama, what's the matter?
[ Humming Continues ]
Mabel.
Mabel, get off the couch.
- Hey. [ Snaps Fingers ]
- [ Snorts ]
- Get off the couch.
- [ Snorting ]
Come on.
[ Sputtering ]
Daddy, stop it. Dad.!
[ Children Screaming, Yelling ]
Mommy! Mommy!
[ Screaming, Yelling ]
Mommy!
Mommy.! Mommy.! Mommy.!
[ Children Yelling ]
- Mom.
- [ Angelo ] Mama, please.
- [ Angelo ] Mom. What's the matter, Mom?
- I don't understand.
- Mom?
- I don't understand.
Mom.
I don't understand, Mom.
I love you.
Mom?
- Mom?
- What's the matter?
- Mommy, what's the matter?
- Don't you hear me?
Mom?
- Stop what you're doin'.
- Mom?
Stop what you're doin'.
If you don't get down off the couch,
I'm gonna knock you down.
I don't wanna have to do that.
- Let go. I want my mom!
- You kids are goin' to bed.
- [ Children Yelling ]
- Angelo, come on. You're goin' to bed.
- I want my mommy!
- I want my mom!
Now stay here! Maria, come here.
- I want my mom.
- Mommy.! Mommy.!
Mommy.! Mommy.!
Mommy.! Mommy.!
Come on.
[ Groans ]
- [ Whimpers ]
- I'll kill you!
I'll kill ya!
I'll kill those sons-of-bitchin' kids!
[ Furniture Rattling ]
[ Nick ]
Relax.
[ Indistinct ]
I want you to grab my hand.
Come here.
Your mommy is all right.
- She's just resting here.
- [ Mabel ] Yeah.
- She's all right.
- I'm just resting.
- Go ahead. You can see that she's all right.
- I'm just resting.
[ Footsteps Thumping ]
[ Nick ]
Come on.
Tony. Come on.!
- Papa, put me down! Put me down!
- You kids are goin' to bed.
You're goin' to bed.
[ Footsteps Thumping ]
- Now stay here.!
- I want my mama.!
- Stay here!
- Mommy.
Mom.
They want to know
if you're all right.
Oh, s-s-s-sure.
I'm all right.
They, uh -
They want you to tuck 'em in bed.
Okay. Sure.
All right.
Okay, sweethearts.
I'm sorry I scared everybody. It just -
I was just... tired, you know.
How about pushing this old lady
up the stairs, huh?
That-a-boy.
- [ Angelo ] You're the best mommy I ever had.
- [ Maria ] Mommy, I'll help you up the stairs.
I'll help you up.
[ Tony ]
I like ya, Mom.
- [ Angelo ] I love you, Mom.
- [ Maria ] I'll help you up the stairs.
[ Chattering ]
[ Angelo ]
You're the best mom I ever had.
[ Mabel ]
I love you.
You know you look just like your father?
You're Daddy's girl.
I love you.
- Hi, angel.
- Hi, Mom.
You think you're gonna be able
to get to sleep?
I'm worried about you.
Aw, sweetheart,
don't worry about me.
I'm a grown-up.
I'm fine.
I'm happy. Really.
Okay. Okay.
I love you too.
I believe that.
- I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
- Okay.
Okay.
Hi, banana.
- Hi, banana.
- How you doin', banana?
How you doin', banana?
- I love you.
- I love you, banana.
Will you stay-
Will you come lie down with me?
Sure.
There.
[ Kisses ]
Spaghetti.
I love you.
I love you, Mom.
[ Mabel ]
I love you, spaghetti.
- All right, kids. Good night.
- [ Tony ] Good night.
We love ya. And we love each other,
and there's nothin' to worry about.
We got through the night.
It was a tough night.
Tomorrow's gonna be better.
Angelo.
- Good night, Tony.
- Good night.
[ Maria ]
Mommy, please don't turn off the light.
[ Nick ] Yeah, but no squirming around
and no talking and go right to sleep.
This is your father talking, so you obey me.
I remember before, when you were
punching me in favor of your mother.
[ Mabel Sighs ]
- You know, I'm really nuts.
- Oh.
Tell me about it.
I don't even know
how this whole thing got started.
- [ Sputters ]
- Don't worry about it. Let me see that hand.
I think I was just so tired, you know.
Do you love me?
I, uh -
I, uh -
Now let's go clean up that crap.
[ Mabel Sighs ]
Gotta get some food in this house.
Let's just leave it.
Okay.
[ Nick Humming Upbeat Tune ]
[ Piano And Kazoos Playing Upbeat Tune ]
[ Man Vocalizing ]
[ Continues ]
[ Phone Rings ]
[ Ringing Continues ]
[ Ringing Continues ]
[ Man Vocalizing ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
Yeah
[ Fades ]