The bride has been detained.
Please go on playing until she arrives.
I can't think what's happened.
You goldfish.
What is detaining Claire?
I'm her father not her maid, Amelia.
And as long as we're
asking questions, Amelia.
What is it Claire sees in that son of
yours that makes her want to marry him?
Come on.
Did you get it all?
- I hope so.
This is an awful thing we're
doing to poor Martin.
It sure is. Come.
It is kindest now I know for certain
I don't really love him, isn't it.
Oh definitely. You were just a little
late in knowing for certain. That's all.
We can't do this. Can we?
Can't we?
Now listen, Claire. After all, I'm
supposed to be an usher at this wedding.
An usher's job is to put
people where they belong.
You don't want me to
misdirect the bride, do you.
Bill, Do you really love me?
- I'm crazy about you. Come on.
What will we do about clothes?
We'll figure out something.
I'll knit you some. Come on.
Mr King, isn't Claire ready yet?
- Ready?
Yes, ready.
Martin, you're a nice boy.
I'm very fond of you.
Thank you, sir.
- You look ..
At least you're all dressed up like a
bridegroom but there's a thing missing.
What is missing?
- I don't know.
You poor fish.
Yes, there is a resemblance.
A distinct resemblance.
Really, Mr King.
The ceremony should proceed.
So proceed. I am ready.
Mr King, I am not marrying you.
I think you've got a very important
point there. Hang on to it.
What is detaining Claire, Mr King?
Where is Bill Landin?
What's that got to do with it?
With what?
Martin. Martin!
Look, Martin.
What's the matter, mother?
What happened?
My poor boy, my poor boy.
Claudius, get that
silly grin off your face.
Claire has eloped with Bill Landin.
Mother, you don't know what you say.
- I certainly do.
I confided in her maid.
Wormed it out of her.
Claudius.
I hope you realize you must inform the
guests that your daughter is a lunatic.
You can save her face somewhat ..
By explaining she inherits it all
from you and isn't altogether to blame.
You know, Amelia. I knew your
offspring was lacking in something.
That's it. Just a touch of lunacy.
Pardon me.
Will there any considerable delay?
Yes, yes old boy.
I'd say offhand we'll have to wait for
the bride to return from her honeymoon.
What of the wire to Martin and everyone?
What are you going to say to them?
Doesn't it bother you,
not having sent it?
No. Not a bit.
Why don't you write it out now and ..
Later.
But you will send it
later, won't you, Bill?
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
Try it a moment, my boy.
I think Bill's advice is sound.
Perhaps it's all for the best. Martin.
I never liked you marrying into this
wild, crazy unreasoning family anyway.
It's bad enough to be associated
in business with them.
Well I am not going to be
associated with them any longer.
I hate to break up the agency.
I suppose Bill will leave
the firm now, won't he?
Certainly not.
- Either he gets out or I do.
What a load of nonsense. Bill's got
to stay if I've got anything to say.
The best advertising man in New York.
Crazy, wild, impulsive, stubborn.
Anything you want.
But he's chock full of ideas.
Brilliant ideas.
We need Bill more than he needs us.
Mister King.
Do you think I'll go on associating with
Bill, day after day in the office ..
Knowing, knowing that
he's going to mistreat her?
It seems to me as long as she doesn't
come to the office to get mistreated ..
You should be able to stand it.
A fine father you are, Mr King.
Sitting there complacently ..
While your daughter jumps into a wild
marriage that cannot last a week.
Well, are you enjoying yourself, Amelia?
All in all, an interesting
party, Claudius.
However did you think of it?
- I didn't give it a thought, my dear.
I told the office boy to fix the
room up for a paper wedding.
Oh dear.
I shall have to fire him in the morning.
Perhaps it's just as well.
There really isn't much future
for your office boys anymore.
Well, there is one of my
office boys with a future.
Bill?
- Yes.
It's a nice party, don't you think?
I don't think I'm going to be
able to take it much longer.
I intend to stay until
the last guest leaves.
Or is laid out.
That will give us just time to
say goodnight to your father.
I already have.
With enough grace for the both of us?
- Bill, I'm not a miracle worker.
Now go on.
Be nice and give Claudius
a goodnight kiss.
Come on, Polonius.
I hate to interrupt these
anecdotes about you.
I know how difficult it is to get anybody
to listen to you bragging about yourself.
I've been wondering what made the
conversation so dull this evening.
Now I know. It's been about you.
To think I'd waste time celebrating your
been married to my daughter for a year.
And are you grateful.
You breathed a sigh of relief
when I took her off your hands.
She's too much for you and you know it.
You're a whipper-snapper.
Speaking of insults.
Try and get to that board meeting
tomorrow with your wits about you.
You will have to do without me tomorrow.
Just blunder on in your
usual inimitable fashion.
I am sailing for Europe at daybreak.
Don't say anything to Claire.
I don't want to be annoyed
when I get on board.
There is a reason.
Why don't you have the
reason to board separately?
She is timid.
- Oh yeah.
Yes, I can understand how your children
would tend to complicate things.
Anyhow if you think
I'd get up at daybreak ..
To see you off you're crazier
than I thought you were.
How did you like the present I gave you?
- You didn't give it to me.
So you noticed?
You would.
Well, here it is.
Digest that when you're alone.
It's a break for me.
I have to suffer acute
indigestion alone?
Well, adios.
So long .. Willy.
So long, Pops.
Oh, and don't bother to
write unless you get in jail.
Did I ever tell you that I ..
- Love you very much?
Thanks, Bill.
What for, the kiss?
- Yes.
And for a year that's been
altogether pretty grand.
You're not sorry then you married
an usher instead of the groom?
Not sorry.
That was the luckiest, nicest
thing that ever happened to me.
No, I mean it.
Well darling, we've
just go 49 more to go.
49 what?
Years to our golden wedding anniversary.
Well, gentlemen.
It appears the old boy
has actually swindled us.
However, we still have the agency.
And under certain conditions.
I propose to make restitution in full
if possible and as quickly as possible.
Why this noble gesture?
Well after all, Claudius
is my father-in-law.
What is your proposition?
Just this.
I'll relinquish my stock
dividing it among yourselves.
I'll continue to work here.
Asking only enough money
to keep up appearances.
Until such time as the
agency gets back its feet.
Ha! I'm not sure we can't
take your stock anyway.
Oh no.
No, you couldn't.
You see, Claudius gave me
some for a wedding present.
And the rest I bought
with the money I earned.
You mentioned conditions, Bill.
Now, what are they?
First, my wife must never
know anything about this.
The decrease in my income must
be attributed to bad business.
You propose then.
In return for your stock and services
we cover up for your father-in-law.
Is that it?
That's it.
That is the most colossal
piece of gall I've ever heard.
Wait a minute.
We have two obvious courses.
We wash our linen in a public court ..
Smash Claudius King and the
Brush-King agency along with him.
Which for some of you
might be very satisfactory.
But not very profitable, I assure you.
The other course.
Keep the whole mess right in this room.
Carry on the agency, work harder ..
Build higher than we've ever
built before and absorb the loss.
Now listen, boys. Bill is
offering a tangible plan.
Martin and Braden are all
for putting Claudius in Sing Sing.
And probably throwing away every
dollar this business represents.
Certainly a mess of
this sort publicly aired.
Would put the agency on the rocks.
- Right.
I'll string along with Bill.
It's the only chance we have.
Thanks.
Why is there no Claudius to Sing Sing?
They'll probably raise the taxes.
He eats like a Roman Emperor.
You can count me in with you.
Thanks.
Well.
Bill, do you mind if we
talk this over without you?
Certainly not.
I'll wait in my office.
No reason for you to be annoyed, Bill.
We're the ones that must listen to him.
Oh, you are quite right.
My deepest sympathy to you.
Hello.
Hello, darling.
Hey, wait a minute, Willy.
That was a very inferior kiss.
That's the type of kiss I give
the girls round the office.
I kinda got mixed up.
Thank you, Bill. That was very sweet.
Most impressive too.
Only just don't get mixed up
and kiss your secretary like that.
That is, if you want her to
keep her mind on her work.
Will you have a drink, dear?
No thanks. Not for me.
By the way.
I left word here that you were
going to take me out for a cocktail.
Yes, I know. I got it.
What, the word of the cocktail?
No. I intend to take
you out this afternoon.
As a matter of fact.
We have something to
celebrate today, I think.
When do you plan to
do something about it?
In a few minutes I hope.
Where is Pop?
The old so-and-so is
on his way to Europe.
No fooling?
Plenty of fooling, but he's on his way.
Well he might of least said goodbye.
Incidentally.
He's not old.
He'll never be old. You know ..
It's a nice business,
this advertising business.
All you have to do is ..
Sit round the office all day, make love,
get roaring drunk and go to Europe.
A very nice business.
- I love it.
You would.
Will you excuse me
for a few minutes, dear?
I've got some work to do.
Now listen, Bill.
I asked you to take me to cocktails.
I sort of halfway promised
that we'd drop in at Victor's.
Or shall I arrange to
have you wheeled in?
What's the matter, Bill?
- Nothing, dear. Nothing at all.
Oh.
Hello, Claire. Nice to see you again.
- Hello, Martin.
Hello.
Well, what is it, yes or no?
I think it's yes.
But there's one or two points
I'd like to go over with you.
Claire won't mind.
- Claire will mind.
I'm sorry, darling.
We won't be a minute.
I said that part of our agreement was my
wife should never know a thing about it.
Well, I just thought ..
- All you ever do is think.
Let me tell you something else.
And bear this in mind.
We, you included,
are compounding a felony.
If Claire finds out, I'll blow the lid
off the works. We all go up the river.
Well.
No need to talk like that.
Not if you stay in line.
Alright.
What points do you want to go over?
One important one.
From now on, under this new set up.
Seeing that you have no stock.
You realize I'm in
complete charger here.
Unfortunately yes, and there is
nothing much I can do about that.
Well I warn you, money is not going
to pour out of here like water.
Some of your ideas
have got to be curbed.
And I am going to do the curbing.
Is that all?
I guess so.
Right. It's a deal.
See you in the morning.
You can start curbing then.
Oh, incidentally.
That jaunt up the river
is no pleasure trip.
Yes.
I'll tell Mr Landin just as soon
as the board meeting is over.
You're welcome.
Goodbye.
We've listened to you patiently
now Bill for more than an hour.
I've given careful consideration
to every point you've raised.
From any angle, except perhaps
your own personal one.
You are wrong and we are right.
You can't dispute, in the last 6 months
we've no accounts worth a row of beans.
For the simple reason Martin won't
spend a dime to get new business.
We hold our own.
Sure we are. On the impetus we had
before we started squeezing nickels.
May I remind you why we
started squeezing nickels?
Now just a minute.
That's entirely beside the point.
I'll tell you this.
In 6 months time the industry will be so
run down it'll take years to build it up.
We've got to spend money
to keep us where we are.
Suppose we try and make up in
cleverness what we lack in money.
Martin, I'm trying.
I'm breaking my leg trying.
I insist that sweat never can entirely
take the place of adequate presentation!
Well.
We all disagree with you.
Suppose we adjourn.
Yes.
Make up your mind, Willy.
Why are you wandering
around in that white gown?
What you trying to do,
haunt the apartment?
I'm succeeding, judging
by the state of your nerves.
My nerves are perfectly alright.
I got to walk around.
Do a little thinking.
Without being read a lecture.
What are you so jittery for, Bill?
Well, I guess I am a little
jittery and nervous tonight.
I'm sorry, darling.
Didn't you get something, Bill?
What?
- Oh, an apple or carrot.
You patted me as if I were a horse.
I'm sorry, darling.
Why don't you run along to bed.
I'm trying to work out an idea.
What is the idea?
Well ..
I'm trying to get a new slant on
the Bel-Angel cosmetics campaign.
I wonder if this grousing and prowling
around will help solve the problem any.
I'm doing the best I can.
Bill.
Bill, something is wrong. What is it?
- Claire, I've told you.
How to make women clamour
for Bel-Angel cosmetics.
How to make them want them so bad they
storm all shops worldwide to get them.
Well something will come.
Forget about it now.
No, I'm looking for something bigger than
any idea to hit the advertising business.
And if do get it and don't convince
that fathead of Martin's ..
Of the need to spend enough money to
present it properly we're sunk anyway.
We wouldn't be sunk, Bill.
Not you and I.
Well, you'd look awfully funny standing
in a breadline wearing an ermine coat.
Yes. I guess you're right.
The ermine coat wouldn't do.
But I could wear that
new grey sports number.
I've got Miss Perkins visiting all
the beauty shops taking notes.
I suppose that's a blind alley, too.
Why didn't you ask me to take
notes in beauty parlors?
Don't you think I'm smart enough?
I don't want a mere casual
account of a visit to a beauty shop.
I must have word-for-word transcriptions
of what's said in a thousand parlors.
Is Miss Perkins taking a
thousand treatments tomorrow?
Well, she said she
could stand about two.
Well I certainly hope her looks
are considerably improved.
Claire, Don't you think
that was rather unkind?
Yes .. yes, I guess it was.
I admit I was petty and I really resent
being petty but you're making me so.
And I am perfectly willing to grant that
you are over-tired. That you're anxious.
That you are baffled by your
business problems. Anything you say.
But that is no reason for you to shut
me out of your life as you have lately.
My life hasn't been so pleasant lately.
Even so, I married you
for better or worse.
If this is the worse,
I must know all about it.
You might find the worst side of me
very interesting. - I might!
Bill.
Would you mind looking carefully
and telling me if I still have a face.
Yes, and one I think is very lovely.
You're lying but go on.
You don't know how I appreciate it.
Ooh!
Yes, I've got a face alright.
I can feel it. Oh boy, can I feel it.
Darling, you've been to beauty parlors.
Partner, them are fighting words.
Allow me to say it.
Go on, dear.
Look them over.
There must be something there.
There has got to be. Though I doubt it.
Anyway, I took down every word I heard
through one whole day of torture.
Sweetheart, I would say that you
were literally taking it on the chin.
Yeah, two rights to the jaw.
Ah, you poor kid.
No, no. Don't sympathise with me.
Don't be tender.
I'll bust right out weeping from ..
Sheer exhaustion.
Claudius.
Hello there.
Here I am!
Am I going to see you after we land?
No, no. Too many women have
disappointed me after landing.
Oh, that's not very complimentary.
Not at all my dear. I'm too
fond of you to risk spoiling it.
Oh, Claudius.
Besides, you wouldn't want
to know me ashore.
I'm a crook and an embezzler.
And I've kept out of jail simply
because I have a kind son-in-law.
Besides, I have a married
daughter down there.
You know how married daughters are.
Any kind of daughter, in fact.
Annoying, inquisitive.
That's her. See her?
Which one?
The two-legged girl with the beige suit.
Claudius.
Hello!
Yoo-hoo!
Hello. Hello.
What are you doing?
Just making my daughter
happy without effort.
I love to make people
happy without effort.
Willy .. you-hoo!
Good afternoon, madam.
Good to see you back again safely, sir.
That sentiment probably
makes you unique.
But thanks, Holliwell.
Mr Landin hasn't come in yet.
Thank you.
Glad to be back?
- So glad, my dear.
Have a drink, Claudius?
No, but I'll take a little
brandy for my health.
Bill has been detained at the office.
Nonsense. It's closed. Long ago.
You are very pretty, my dear.
Very pretty.
The office isn't closed.
And I'm not very pretty.
I, who am an authority on
the subject, say that you are.
But even so, you can't expect
a honeymoon to go on forever.
The office is closed.
Whatever the office is, the
honeymoon will go on forever.
It .. it just couldn't be any other way.
So that's what you think after
being married a year and a half.
Hmm.
You are even barmier than I thought.
How are things at the office?
Alright, I guess.
Nothing to write home about.
Well, perhaps its just as well I've
decided to retire from the agency.
Retire? You?
Why not? Haven't I
worked hard all my life?
No.
Yes, you're right.
That's all the more reason
for my retiring now.
If a man doesn't acquire the habit
of hard work when he is young.
He'll never do it at my age.
I wonder if Bill could possibly have
gone to the dock and missed us.
By the way.
Did Bill mention a trifling favor he did
for me after I want abroad this time?
No.
Ah, good old Bill.
Well.
Bill hasn't been confiding
very much in me lately.
I don't think he and Martin are
getting along any too well.
I told Martin that you would
be here this afternoon.
He said he's stop by on his way home.
So you see, he isn't here.
They are both working.
Why has it never been my fate to marry
a nice, trusting, simple girl like you?
Oh.
Well, I think they will do.
- You think they'll do?
That's certainly white of you, Martin.
- Come on Bill. Dispense with sarcasm.
I wouldn't waste time being sarcastic.
- I simply said ..
What difference does it make?
A lot of difference I think seeing
that I'm running this agency.
You've the basis of
a fine campaign here.
But I alone will decide how much
money we'll spend presenting it.
I see. Then I'll get rid of
these trifle1s for you.
No use in getting you confused
in making these great decisions.
Go ahead and decide.
Decide your fool head off!
Coffee, madam?
No thank you.
Shall we expect Mr Landin later?
No. I ..
I'm sure he will have eaten
before he comes home.
Bill!
What happened to you?
I'm sorry, darling.
We arranged to play
bridge with the Grants.
Yes I know, but I forgot.
Do you mind calling up and begging off?
I have.
Where did you dine?
- I didn't.
I left the office about ..
About 3, I think. I went to the club.
I've been sitting there ever since.
Can I get you something to eat?
No thanks dear, I don't want anything.
- Bill.
No, really. I don't care for a thing.
Well.
What have you been doing?
Oh nothing. Martin called about six.
He seemed anxious to talk to you.
That's one of the things that makes
me optimistic about the future.
I won't have to talk to Martin again.
Why?
I'm washed up, Claire.
Finished. I quit.
I left Brush-King today.
What?
- Yep.
But .. but what about Bel-Angel?
Yo0u had such a swell campaign set up.
You were enthusiastic. What's happened?
Martin refused to spend money to present
it properly, so I went one better.
I wouldn't present it at all.
Well.
Well, won't this just about
wreck the agency?
Just about.
I hope.
With Martin and his stooges
running it, it can't last much longer.
But haven't you got stock
in it? Hasn't father?
Well no. We ..
We disposed of our stock some time ago.
Bill, dear. Listen.
Couldn't you take your Bel-Angel
campaign to another agency?
Definitely not.
I've worked it out for Brush-King.
Please Claire, don't ask
questions about it.
Bill.
Another thing. The agencies are not
clamouring for my services anymore.
When Brush-King started slipping.
Apparently, it was gossiped
that I was slipping along with it.
Oh nonsense.
Most gossip is. But people believe it.
But Bill, you've done all the hard
creative work on the campaign.
All you have to do now
is sell it to Bel-Angel.
Anybody could do that. I could do it.
- Claire, you don't understand.
A good Ad' campaign needs the soul of
a Garrick and the wit of a Bernard Shaw.
Presented in such a fashion that
any moron could understand it.
Among those morons I
include Mainwaring of Bel-Angel.
He's got about as much
imagination as a .. as a duck.
Why a duck?
You know, women are funny.
I suppose you think all I must do is to
walk into Mainwaring's office and say ..
Say look, old boy.
The agencies that took up your time
and theirs with elaborate presentations.
Are all off-key.
I have just the campaign for you.
Don't pay any attention
to how it is presented.
But feel the back of my head.
It's all there.
Nevertheless you might try. Or I might?
Ha!
That's the dirtiest laugh I heard since
Way Down East played the Opry House.
Well Bill, why couldn't I?
I know it means so much to you and ..
I know the details of the
campaign backwards.
You know I would do anything
in the world for you, Claire.
But if Bill every found out about this
he'd probably shoot me or something.
All I ask of you is to help me
in preparing a rough layout.
I know exactly how Bill would want them
to be. It will only take a few days.
Yes, I know but I hate to see you start
something I don't think you can finish.
It wouldn't make you happy.
Martin.
Isn't that rather my lookout?
It should be Bill's.
I'm sorry I bothered you.
- No. No, wait a minute, Claire.
If you want the help of our staff ..
In preparing what are really
duplicates of Bill's preliminary work.
Well, alright.
When do you want to start?
- Now.
You realize Miss King, it would be
very careless of me to have you wait.
All day yesterday the Dunlap and Dana
Agency representatives were here.
And they were only supposed to
be with Mr Mainwaring an hour.
Mr Houseman of the Houseman
Agency is with him now.
And Mr Armbuster is waiting.
So you see it might be rather
hopeless for you to wait.
Just the same, I think I will
wait if you don't mind.
I am sure that I wouldn't be cluttering
up your office too much, would I?
Of course not, Miss King.
If you think it wise.
[ Buzzer ]
"There is something in my eye.
It is driving me crazy."
"Get that masseur up here. I think
he'd know what to do about it."
"Get Dr Warden."
"Better get his assistant, Dr Bruce."
"Do something now!"
Do answer promptly, Miss Wainwright.
Send the masseur up.
No, no. Good heavens, no.
The Swedish gentleman. Quickly.
Send for Dr Warden and Dr Bruce.
A catastrophe.
"I tell you this thing
is driving me crazy."
Oh yes, Dr Warden or Dr Bruce.
"I'm going mad in here."
I realize Mr Mainwaring this is all
very trying but we must remain calm.
I want Larson.
"Will you do something."
I'm trying desperately, Mr Mainwaring.
Where is Dr Warden?
What's the matter with Mr Mainwaring?
He's got a hair turned
under his left upper eyelid.
Miss Douglas, don't
bother about Dr Warden.
Get Dr Addison, the eye man.
Oh, I think you're wrong about Addison.
The best eye man I know
about is Julius Dahl.
You are going to tell
me about eye doctors?
Addison treated my wife's cousin.
Open your mouth? - Huh?
- Open your mouth.
Now hold still. It won't take a minute.
All I do is turn the
eyelid over this match.
Just so.
Did it get it?
Why, that is marvellous, Miss ..?
Miss ..?
- King.
Claire King.
I really am extremely
grateful, Miss King.
It sounds silly I know but an eyelash
turned in like that can be brutal.
Yes, I know. An aunt of mine was
always getting something in her eye.
Won't you sit down and let me thank you.
- You are too kind, Mr Mainwaring.
Not at all, not at all. I could do
with a cup of tea. Will you join me?
Well, I don't mind if I do.
Ah, gentlemen. Having a
little business conference?
Bill, are you or are you not
interested in talking sense?
If not, say so, and we'll
all be getting along.
Alright.
I'll talk sense.
You asked for it.
I've left Brush-King. That agency means
more to me than it does to any of you.
It's been my whole life.
Ever since I got my first job
there as an office boy.
It wasn't easy, leaving.
But I've left.
I'll probably feel worse than any of you
when they scratch my name off the door.
Willy.
Willy, I got it. I did it.
All the luck in the world
moved in and helped me.
And then two more things.
A turned-in eyelash and a match.
Bill.
I sold your campaign to Mainwaring.
Claire .. how? What's happened?
Martin, please.
How did you work it? I Honestly
didn't think you had a chance.
I'd have given a 100-1 he
wouldn't even see you.
Pop, aren't your proud of me?
Well I might be, if I had the remotest
idea what you're babbling about.
Claire, be specific, please.
Well, there is not much
to be specific about.
He got something in
his eye. I got it out.
We had tea together and I sold him
Bill's campaign hook, line and sinker.
Claire, you're wonderful.
You've given us a new
lease on life and prestige.
Why, when they hear we landed Bel-Angel
we'll get a flock of new accounts.
Claire, you've put Brush-King
right back on its two feet again.
On its four feet.
Isn't that what you mean?
Miss King seems to have joined
the agency standing on her own.
Willy.
Why, you're funny.
I did call myself Miss King, but
I should have, don't you think?
I don't know.
I didn't know a thing about any of this.
You didn't know that Claire
was going to try and sell him ..?
That's the general idea.
Claire, did you tell him that Bill would
handle the account from now on?
Well, of course.
Well, how about it, Bill? Or will you
discuss it in the office tomorrow?
Why? What is there to discuss?
As for handling Bell-Angel.
Naturally, Mainwaring
expects Miss King to do that.
And two, I'm on my vacation.
Everybody has been very
concerned as to where I'd spend it.
Our being broke
complicated matters a little.
But now there's nothing to
worry about. I'm sitting pretty.
Listen, darling.
If you're angry because I ..
I cooked up this whole thing
without telling you about it, say so.
I'll call Mainwaring
and tell him to forget it.
Don't even think about it.
Well then, what's the matter?
Why are you so ..
Sour?
Who me, sour?
No, on the contrary.
I want to laugh and play.
Celebrate.
- What?
Want a drink, anybody?
Well, you see Martin?
You see how wrong you were?
Thinking the agency was
going to collapse if I pulled out.
Come off it, darling.
Act civilised.
- Run along now. I'm busy.
You look it.
Yes, I am. I'm planning
your future for you.
Mr Landin. My future is with you.
If you don't mind.
That's right, dearest. Smile. Smile
for the so-and-sos across the room.
Maybe they'll close
their mouths and relax.
Oh Willy, you relax.
I will. But I'm planning your career.
I told you that ..
Yes, I know dear, but you've
just started. I can be very helpful.
After all there are a lot of
birds of Mainwaring's feather.
You ought to be able
to sell them anything.
Bill .. please.
I'll draw up a list of prospects who
will appreciate your undoubted talents.
I know a fellow who is a
pushover compared to Mainwaring.
Very cautious.
But after all, Miss King. You are
more clever than most women.
He'd find you very
interesting after he met you.
His father left him a business and needs
advertising. It makes steam shovels.
Alright. I made a mistake.
Suppose we forget the whole episode.
Oh, forget poor Mainwaring?
After he succumbed so
beautifully to your charms?
One more dig like that and you'll get
the fight you're looking for, darling.
I'm not interested in fighting
with you, "my darling",
Aren't you two overdoing
this lovebird act a little?
We're on the verge of
a magnificent battle.
Yes? Seems to lack the old zest.
- I got to pull this down right away.
Take it easy, Claire.
The young master is annoyed.
I'm frightened.
No, really. I'm frightened.
What am I frightened of?
That big baboon upstairs?
Not on your life.
What's the matter with him?
You might think that I've gone
out to do him some sort of harm.
Is there any possible excuse
for behaviour such as that?
No.
- Well, then.
Only, in his place I'd probably do
and say exactly the same thing.
I doubt if I'd show as
much restraint as Bill has.
Heavens, have you gone crazy, too?
He's desperately hurt, Claire,
and he's fighting back.
Why, why?
Well it's all very simple.
At least, I think so.
If you'd just realize that masculine
vanity is a primitive, powerful force.
Granted, but I still don't understand
what I've done to provoke such a ..
I'll spell it out for you
with baby gloves, my dear.
You did what Bill considered his job ..
And added insult to injury
by doing it successfully.
Men have sewn women in sacks and thrown
them into a river for less provocation.
Well, if what I've done
has hurt Bill's vanity ..
Then no woman should
stand before a minister ..
And listen to present-day marriage vows.
It means she marries a man with a mind!
Shall I start teaching you the facts
of life at your advanced age?
Maybe so.
I don't seem to know much about the
man I've been living with for two years.
You rang, sir?
Oh yes, Holliwell.
Bill.
Pack those things.
Send them to the club.
Never mind, Holliwell.
You can do that later.
Yes, madam.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to take a trip around
the world on a tramp steamer.
Something I've wanted to do all my life.
I hope you know what you're
talking about because I don't.
Yes, I do.
Claire, we're just going in
different directions. That's all.
I mean to make a break before we get to
a point where we must kill each other.
This way, it's sharp.
Clean and quick.
No regrets.
Nice for you.
I'm glad.
I'm glad you see it all so clearly.
The only thing I see clearly is that
I'm almost beginning to hate you.
Adis.
I think this might suit me very well.
We are very proud of this apartment.
And I can safely say it is one of
the most choice in the entire building.
Indeed. How nice.
And the other tenants are
very quiet respectable people.
Oh poor dears. How dull for them.
Mrs Landin.
Your husband would occupy
the apartment with you?
No.
No, I live alone.
- Alone?
Emphatically so.
We would certainly require references
as to your financial stability and ..
Your character.
Would it be alright if I brought
a note from my father?
Why, I suppose it would.
Mrs Landin. Have you any pets?
Oh yes. Yes, indeed.
I have a horse.
Well, Leslie, how do
you like my apartment?
Charming, Claire. Perfectly charming.
I've never house-warmed a nicer one.
How kind of you.
You really must stop around
and see my little garret someday.
I've a few surrealist pictures.
Well worth looking at.
Do you like surrealist pictures?
Now and then.
Yes indeed, Claire.
Yours is a very enviable place.
Here you are young,
extremely attractive.
Now, now, now.
I repeat, extremely attractive and
an enormous success in business.
Unhampered by the obligations
of the average woman.
No husband or parents
or relations to interfere.
A lady who does exactly as she likes and
only lives alone because she chooses to.
By the way, your father doesn't
appear with you, does he.
No. No, he's just an occasional visitor.
I'm curious.
Would he be visiting Friday?
Yes. Yes, indeed.
Father and I always dine
together Friday nights.
Oh Friday? That would be fish night?
Yes.
Now, if you'll excuse me Leslie.
I want to see if the rest of my guests
are passing out the proper unction.
Do you want something, Miss Landin?
Yes. You'd better take in those clean
glasses and collect the dirty ones.
I'll finish the sandwiches.
Hello, Martin.
- A very successful party, my dear.
Not bad.
And you're having a foul time.
- No, I'm not. Why do you say that?
What is the idea of you
hiding in here all alone?
I something making you unhappy, Claire?
Do you kind cutting the crusts
off those sandwiches?
No, of course not.
Claire, I asked you.
Is anything making you unhappy?
No, nothing. Only ..
Only what?
Only everyone goes out of their way to
point out how wonderfully well off I am.
It's a little difficult
to live up to it.
Might I say something quite blunt?
I guess you could.
If you tried very hard.
Why haven't you divorced Bill yet?
You know, I have a certain right to know
because I want to ask you to marry me.
You nearly did once before, you know.
Then why don't you ask me?
Oh .. well .. yes.
Watch out what you are doing there.
Or you are going to contribute
a finger to that sandwich.
It is rather awkward isn't it,
when one has a husband.
Yes, I guess one has a husband lurking
somewhere around on this earth.
As far as I'm concerned, that
fact is rather hard to ignore.
Yes.
It probably is, Martin.
If and when I get off this Brush-King
merry-go-round for a few weeks.
I'll go to Reno and get a divorce.
Then we'll see.
I shan't mention it again until
I have the right to speak.
Such a level head.
With such nice, stodgy thoughts.
[ Singing: ]
"Just to pass the time away."
"Can't you hear the whistles blowing."
"Blowing .."
Now he is ashamed. Such a nice gentleman
to get himself in that condition.
He likes that condition.
He's been that way
ever since last Tuesday.
How long do you think he'll keep it up?
- Who knows?
We had a drunk in 762
that stayed that way all winter.
Good morning, ladies.
- Look at your face.
Look at your face.
- Oh, my face. Yes.
Well ladies, you'll
have to excuse my scars.
I'm used to shaving on a freight boat.
I can't get accustomed to shave on land.
You know how it is,
shaving on a freight boat.
Your hands shave you as if you were
on a boat, but your face stands still.
Oh, Mr Landin.
May I clean your room now?
Oh yes, Duchess.
Anything your little heart desires.
A swell guy.
Mr Crawford. A call for Mr Crawford.
Mr Crawford?
I'm not Crawford, but check hat.
- Yes, sir.
A call for Mr Crawford. Mr Crawford.
Good morning, Paul.
- Good afternoon, Mr Landin.
Well, what's good about it?
Well, I guess I'll have a little lunch.
- Will this table be alright, sir?
What you think? Is it worthy of me?
Perhaps you would like
lunch served in your room, sir?
Perhaps I would, too.
Could I take your order now, sir?
[ Applause noise ]
What is that in there?
A luncheon of the Business and
Professional Women's Forum.
Oh, think we'd better look that over.
Orange juice, ham and eggs,
and coffee sir, as usual?
No, Paul. You know coffee
keeps me awake all day.
Bring me a Scotch and soda.
Yes, sir.
With the name and eggs or after, sir?
Before the ham and eggs.
- Yes, sir.
And with the ham and eggs.
- Yes, sir.
And after the ham and eggs.
- Yes, sir.
Keep an eye on him.
If he gets too noisy, call me.
Yes, sir.
Before ham and eggs. With ham
and eggs. After ham and eggs.
Hiya, Jimmy.
- Howdy.
Give me the same, will you.
- Same as you had yesterday?
Yes, the same as yesterday.
You're a little early today, Mr Landin.
- What?
I say you are a little1 early today.
Yes, I am a little early.
You certainly keep a friendly
eye on us in your job.
Oh yes.
- Well, I kinda like that.
I really do.
There is nothing I enjoy
more than a friendly eye.
George.
George Dunlap.
How are you, fellah?
- Bill Landin.
Gee, I'm glad to see you.
- Glad to see you, You have a drink?
Why not? What's that?
Scotch and soda.
- The same.
I've tried to get in touch with
you for months. Where you been?
I've been round the world on
a freighter. - What for?
I don't know. The ride, I guess.
You know, it's nice riding
round the world on a freighter.
Much nicer than working like a dog.
Well.
That's why I went, I think.
Well, here we go, or pip-pip
or cheerio or something.
Say, what are your plans
after you sober up?
I'm not going to sober up.
Well, not that I'm drinking.
Get that straight.
No, George.
I intend to stay in the
delightful state of mellowness.
Giving out sweet thoughts and sayings.
Get me another drink, will you.
And occasionally
breaking a little furniture.
Quite a career for the best advertising
man who ever struck this town.
Advertising.
Advertising, I never heard of it.
What kind of a silly business is that?
A daffy guy named Landin made a
lot of money at it not so long ago.
That's right. So he did.
But that was a long time ago.
Since then he has found that
work is very degrading.
You know George, it's a funny thing.
It's all very obvious once you
get a different slant on it.
Didn't your mother ever tell
you it's rude to stare at people.
Pardon me, Ducky. I was just conjuring
up a little picture in my mind.
You, sweet and clean after a Turkish
bath and a good night's sleep.
Hard at work for the firm
of Dunlap, Dana and Gore.
Dunlap, Dana and Gore.
You know something?
I like you.
If it was oyster season, I'd eat you.
If I had a lot of Tabasco sauce
to put on you, I'd eat you.
Bonsoir.
Gracie.
Where is my Scotch and soda?
I saw you go into the
bar, sir. And I thought.
Checking up on me, huh?
- Oh no, sir.
Bring me a Scotch and soda.
- Yes, sir. - Double.
Rapido.
[ Applause noise ]
Ladies of the Business and
Professional Woman's Guild.
Today we are honored with a speaker ..
Who has carved a niche for
herself in the world of business.
With incredible swiftness.
A woman whose message
we are eager to hear.
Her topic is one of vital interest.
"Personal problems of the
woman in business."
I am delighted to present to you.
Miss Claire King.
Of the Brush-King Advertising Agency.
Honored Chairwoman.
Ladies of the guild.
A slight chance, Mrs Bigby.
My subject is:
Personal problems of
the wife in business.
As you know.
Many problems of women in business.
Are not confined to their
contacts at the office.
In many instances.
Problems at home. Coming
directly out of those at the office.
Are most annoying.
The problem of the wife in
business, I need hardly add ..
Is usually a husband.
It's particularly so when a husband's
ego is built round him like a mausoleum.
I know a woman.
She fell in love. And she married.
Nothing unusual then, in the marriage.
Until the husband began to
have business difficulties.
The closer he came to failure.
The more he drank.
Whether this was to make failure
appear more or less important ..
I .. I don't know.
In any case, each step he took down.
His head got proportionally larger.
Finally, the husband's
head got awfully big.
Otherwise, he seemed to diminish.
And during this nightmare.
Anxiously .. with every
ounce of her strength.
She tried to bolster him up.
She even went so far as to ..
To attempt to close an
important business deal herself.
With no other thought in mind
than that of helping her husband.
She met with some small success quickly.
She hurried home to tell her
husband the good news.
Certain that his hopes would be renewed.
That he would be glad of an
interval in which he could ..
Pull himself together.
She confided her splendid news to him,
that she'd saved his business career.
She was all set to accept his
gratitude, thanks .. and affection.
Instead of which, she was met with a ..
Volcanic explosion of
injured masculine pride.
At first she ..
She thought the house was collapsing.
It took her a full moment
to understand that ..
The awful thunderings ..
Were only those of her
husband's collapsing vanity.
A very charming speech, Miss King.
My heartiest congratulations.
So, not content with ruining your life,
Willy also ruined your speech, huh?
Willy did not ruin my speech.
After he got out I really outdid myself.
I bet the married women in the room went
directly home to beat up their husbands.
It wouldn't surprise me.
I've always contended that
modern civilisation wrecked itself ..
When we separated women from goats
and moved them into the house.
Where do you suppose Bill is?
I don't know. He checked
out of the hotel last night.
I've searched the town. Can't find him.
I want to find him.
Oh, hello. There you are.
Do you know what's happened?
- No. What?
Mr William Landin is back in town.
Martin, you are a keen fellow.
Want to know something else?
- Not particularly.
He's working for Dunlap, Dana
and Gore. Started yesterday.
Oh? He is, eh?
He most certainly is.
Do you want to know something else?
Martin seems to be
bursting with information.
He must haves spent the entire
day peeping through keyholes.
We are not going to get the
Atlas Underwear account.
Mr Jarvis telephoned me ten minutes ago.
After mature deliberation he decided the
campaign we submitted was amateurish.
Compared to the one just submitted
by Mr Landin of Dunlap, Dana and Gore.
You want to know something else?
Mr Jarvis is probably right.
Good afternoon, Miss Douglas.
- Good afternoon.
I'm a few moments late for
my 3 o'clock appointment.
It's perfectly alright, Miss King.
Mr Mainwaring is behind in his schedule.
This gentleman has a 2:30 appointment
has been waiting more than an hour.
Those minutes that so distressed you.
Consider them saved.
How comforting.
Thank you.
I was really worried.
Mr Mainwaring is usually so punctual.
I see to that.
And most efficiently too.
- Thank you.
What seems to be the trouble today?
The chief had a lunch
appointment with a gentleman.
He brought him back here with
him and hasn't emerged since.
A Mr Landin.
I am unable to cope with Mr Landin.
Not Mr William Landin?
Yes, do you know him?
I've met him.
He'll be popping out any
moment now, I'm sure.
At least I hope so.
What he has done to our
day is positively devastating.
Except a list of publications and those
details we'll discuss at dinner tonight.
It's all in your capable hands, Bill.
- Right.
Claire.
How are you? Say, you're looking grand.
You too.
Well, I can't complain.
Neither can Dunlap, Dana and
Gore since you've been with them.
You mean Landin, Dunlap,
Dana and Gore don't you?
You know how this business is.
Chicken one day, feathers the next.
We've been kind of
having a run of chicken.
And you plan to include my Bel-Angel
account in your poultry yard. Right?
You know the old saying:
"Finders-keepers, losers-weepers".
As long as we're quoting,
there is another:
"There's many a slip twixt
the cup and the lip".
Oh, there is another.
"He who laughs last .."
Oh.
So you are laughing, are you?
Well frankly, yes.
The prospect of seeing Brush-King start
its journey down the greased slide.
Well, I am sorry to spoil
your pleasure, old boy.
But that is not going to happen.
I've been wrong before,
but not very often.
Bill. The same modest,
self-effacing fellow.
Oh Bill, I am so happy to know
hat you haven't changed.
How is dear Martin?
- In the pink.
My good old pal, Braden?
Flourishing.
And how is Miss King?
She combines the best
features of them both.
Flourishing in the pink.
And her father is very well, too.
He sends his best regards to you.
I think that just about
takes care of everybody.
Yes, I think it does.
So .. goodbye.
Good luck.
That Mr Landin is an
awfully nice chap, isn't he.
Delightful.
Would you buzz Mr Mainwaring and ask him
if I can poke my head in for a moment.
It's quite important.
Well, he dislikes being interrupted.
But.
"Yes?"
I beg your pardon, Mr Mainwaring.
Could you see Miss King for a second?
"Why, I .. well .."
"I tell you what to do, Miss Douglas."
"Make my apologies to Miss King."
"Say I'm leaving town over the weekend.
I'll phone her Monday or Tuesday."
You couldn't sneak in there and throw
something in his other eye could you?
Mr Mainwaring will surely call you.
- Yes. Monday or Tuesday.
And I should live so long.
I've thought about Snell Glass.
I've stared at it.
Until I'm certain my brains are
in one of those empty bottles.
You're tired, darling,
You've been working too hard.
Much too tired to brood.
Bill has taken away four of our best
accounts. One right after the other.
If he beats us to this one ..
- He can't. He mustn't.
It's impossible.
You've got to go right home to bed
without any further discussion.
That's the best idea either
of us has had all night.
Thanks, Martin.
Do you think you can
finish it up, Freddie?
Well, if my back holds out.
Alright. So be it.
We're throwing a little cocktail party
tomorrow afternoon for our friend Snell.
We'll get him nice and mellow.
Give him a couple of
pretty girls to look at.
And when he's softened up.
On the dotted line.
- Right.
Right.
Goodnight, Freddie.
Hello, Mr Landin?
Fred again.
I just found out something I
think you might like to know.
They plan to throw some kind of cocktail
party tomorrow afternoon for Snell.
And so I was quite anxious for us
to get together and become friends.
It's so difficult to do that in an
office. Don't you think, Mr Snell?
Indeed I do, Miss King.
And I really can't tell you how much
I appreciate you asking me to drop in.
Oh, the pleasure is all ours.
Oh, not at all.
You know, as often as
I've been in New York.
I must confess I always
feel a little strange here.
We're going to take care of that too.
I'm really going to show you this town.
You're not leaving until Monday are you?
- I don't believe so.
Well, wonders can happen
between now and then.
That's plenty, thanks. Plenty.
Now, tell me more about Peoria.
It's fascinating.
- Well, I wouldn't call it that.
But we do have a most thriving
and progressive little city.
And it's a neighbourly place too. We all
of us belong to the same country club.
And play a lot of excellent
bridge and that sort of thing.
How nice.
- Uhuh.
But mother and I, that's Mrs Snell.
We travel quite a bit.
In fact, we've just come
back from a Europe trip.
Mother and I thought we'd take
the girls along with us this time ..
And expose them to a
bit of European culture.
Mister Snell.
Don't tell me you have children old
enough to be exposed to "culture"?
Why yes indeed.
My three girls are quite grown up.
But it isn't possible. A man as
young as you are? I don't believe it.
I'll prove it to you.
There is the evidence.
It was taken while we
were in Switzerland.
Oh, how lovely.
I've never seen a more adorable family.
- Uhuh.
Father said he was going to drop into
a cocktail party Miss King was giving.
He said he would only stay
a little while. Didn't he, dear?
Yes, mama. Just a little while.
But he said that once in Paris and he
didn't get home until the next morning.
Yes, Maybe I'd better not stay.
I'll phone in the morning.
No. Please, just a minute.
I want to ask you a question.
I am a little worried about father.
I don't think I should have
let him go up there alone.
Exactly what goes on at a
New York cocktail party, Mr Landin?
Well Mrs Snell, the few that
I've attended are pretty ..
Pretty w-i-l-d.
Do you know this Miss King?
- Oh yes.
She is a very lovely girl and a
very competent businesswoman.
Do advertising agencies have cocktail
parties for all prospective clients?
Not mine. I won't permit it.
A lot of people consider me rather
old fashioned and straight laced.
But I won't allow my clients, associates
or myself to get befuddled with liquor.
Mr Landin, you are the most sensible
person I've met since we left Peoria.
Thank you.
Well, maybe you'd like to drop
in on Miss King's cocktail party?
After all, it is a party of New York
life that shouldn't be overlooked.
And more important.
I have the strongest premonition
that father needs me up there.
You see what I mean, Mr Snell?
I see what you are trying to get over.
Without glass, civilisation would
return to the middle ages.
An interesting angle is the basis of our
campaign, don't you think, Mr Snell?
Yes, I do. It has a certain dignity.
Mr Snell. You've hit the
nail right on the head.
Dignity. You make a
fine, dignified product.
Your advertising should
strike that identical note.
Uhuh, I agree.
Oh, Martin.
Will you get Mr Snell
another cocktail please?
Yes, of course.
No, really. I'd better not.
Oh, just a drop.
While I show you some layouts.
Now, take a thing like this.
We don't sacrifice sales power
in the slightest degree.
But no-one could question a statement.
True, Miss King. True.
Well?
- I think he's in the bag.
No fooling,
- Claire is wonderful.
She has him rolling and
jumping through hoops.
Ready for the contract yet?
- In a minute I think.
Has she a pen in there?
- Sure.
Don't worry. He'll not get
out of there without signing.
And this is the one that is
going to grease his elbow.
Why, this is positively pagan.
I never would have believed it.
That's exactly why I
wanted you to see it.
I beg your pardon.
Do you happen to know where Mr Snell is?
Why, I think he's in the bedroom
over there with our hostess.
Thank you.
Girls, go into the lobby
and wait for mother.
But mother.
- You heard what mother said.
Wait in the lobby and
don't talk to anyone.
Father must have taken
leave of his senses.
I can quite understand
how upset you are.
May I have this dance?
Now, I would use this one for
the first big opening splash.
That covers all of our
most important magazines.
Come in.
Do you like this one better than ..
- Frank!
Hattie!
- How do you do Miss King.
Not intruding, I hope.
How are you, Mr Snell?
Mrs Snell, may I present Miss King.
How do you do?
- Franklin.
May I ask what you are doing
at this disgraceful orgy?
In this bedroom with the door closed?
Now mother, please. If you'll ..
Just a minute.
I think I owe everyone an explanation.
You in particular Mrs Snell, an apology.
Actually, Mr Snell came here
at my request. - What?
Hey, wait a minute.
Why did you come here, Mrs Snell?
- Because.
Well, because you wanted to show
me how dissolute .. - Exactly.
The same thing applies to your husband.
I urged him as a special favor to me.
To come here to see the unusual methods
employed by some advertising agencies.
Isn't that right, Mr Snell?
Uhuh.
And you're firmly convinced ..
That the Snell Glass account should not
be entrusted to such people as these?
Uhuh.
So you see Mrs Snell,
if anyone is to blame ..
I am. Not your husband.
Yes, of course.
Well, in that case.
Now listen, fun is fun.
But if you think I'll stand ..
- Young lady.
Nothing you could possibly say will be
of the slightest interest to any of us.
Come, Franklin.
Yes, mother.
Goodbye, Miss King.
Thanks for letting us drop in.
It's been a delightful party.
I guess we're leaving just in time.
They seem to be breaking the furniture.
Uhuh. Did I have a hat?
We'll muddle along some way.
Hello. Busy?
- Oh yes.
Swamped.
Throwing away circulars
and making aeroplanes.
Tomorrow I'm going to bring a
chessboard and some stockings to mend.
I just come back from
lunch with George Dunlap.
I hope you didn't forget to
slip some poison in his soup.
Claire, he's offered to buy us out.
Take us over. - No?
Yes, and on very liberal terms.
I was flabbergasted.
Astonishing alright.
Or is it?
No, it isn't.
I detect the fine oriental
hand of Mr Bill Landin.
He's probably been building up to this
supreme moment ever since he left here.
Possibly.
But if we don't accept
their offer, well ..
I'd better talk to Flickner and Johns
at once. Meanwhile, you think it over.
What is there for me to think over?
Either we accept their offer
or fold up. Isn't that right?
I'm afraid so.
Well then, it's a perfect arrangement.
And then possibly some of those
people out there can keep their jobs.
And Mr Landin will add
another inch to his swell head.
And on top of all this,
I'm catching a cold.
Well darling, cheer up.
Maybe you can give it to Willy.
[ Door knocks ]
Come in.
Hello. How do you do.
Claire.
How are you?
Much worse than I was
before you came in.
Was that kind?
- I didn't mean it to be.
Wow.
Got it under my chin that time, I guess.
Say, you might ask I want to sit down.
You don't need an invitation from me.
It's your firm, your
office and your chair.
Sit down, lie down, fall down.
Stand on your head. Whatever you like.
May I help you?
- No, thank you.
I shall have the last vestiges of myself
out of your office in just a minute.
Claire, I suppose you wondered why I was
so anxious to take over the business.
I haven't the slightest interest.
Well I'll admit, that I did everything
I could to oust you and Martin.
And some of the things were unethical.
But I can't see how the business could
go on with Martin at the head of it.
And I do want to see the firm go on.
I mean, I started here as an office boy.
Claire, I'm sentimental
about Brush-King.
That's funny.
Your being sentimental about
anything or anyone but yourself.
Nevertheless, it's the truth.
Go ahead. Lie to your heart's content.
Add insult to injury.
Come on, Claire.
Let's not quarrel about it.
That's just what I am
determined to avoid.
That's why I'm clearing
out of here right now.
And I wish you no end of success in
your meteoric rise to fame and fortune.
Now wait a minute, Claire.
There's no reason for you to leave here.
No reason to think you've lost anything.
There is definitely
a place for you here.
Come on, why don't you keep this office?
That is just too, too
considerate of you.
And while you're in this
embalmed state of nobility.
Oh by the way, Willy.
Did you rehearse this before a mirror?
There is only one thing that I want
from you and that's a divorce.
Are you going to marry again?
I don't see how that concerns you.
Isn't it reasonable to think a man could
be concerned about his wife's future?
I am not your wife.
Now you can have the common decency to
let me divorce you quietly and easily.
I certainly am. With pleasure.
The pleasure is all mine,
Mr Landin. I assure you.
Adis!
[ Telephone ]
Frazier Kushman office.
No ma'am. Mr Frazier is
not in at the present.
I expect him at any moment.
I can't understand what
is detaining Mr Frazier.
He said he'd be out of court by noon.
And he always likes to leave the office
by one at the latest on Saturdays.
That's quite alright.
This stuff really opens up my head.
Isn't it marvellous.
Did you hear that, Claire?
Doesn't that make you happy?
It opens up his head.
Dear, dear. What a silly way
to spend Saturday afternoon.
I beg your pardon, Mr King?
- I merely remarked.
With life so brief and yet full of
opportunity for fun and gaiety.
Not even the mention of love.
Yet here we sit waiting for a lawyer
to come in and arrange for a divorce.
Silly.
Oh.
Frazier and Kushman. Good afternoon.
Oh, yes.
Oh yes, honey.
Yes. Everybody has
left the office but me.
No.
Well I just can't.
Yeah, I know it's after
one, but .. I just can't.
Well if can get there
for one-thirty, I will.
Otherwise go on without me.
Yeah.
Bye.
Where did you say you
had to be at one-thirty?
Well I had planned to meet my ..
Friends uptown, but ..
Now isn't that a strange coincidence.
I was just on my way uptown too.
Would you share my taxi?
Oh I couldn't. I don't think ..
Good. It's a boring habit, thinking.
Go on. Get your things.
Yeah, I wonder if Mr Frazier
would mind if I did go on.
Perhaps he wouldn't, though. He expects
us to leave prompt Saturday noon and ..
Don't you worry about it, my dear.
If Frazier utters one
harsh word to you, I'll ..
I'll sue him.
And my daughter and my two sons-in-law
can wait without chaperones.
Bless you, Martin dear.
Well .. alright.
Good.
Perhaps you folks would like
to wait in Mr Frazier's office?
It's a lot more comfortable in there.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Are you sure you don't
need me for anything?
Of course not. You run along now
and take good care of .. father.
He's getting a little old.
Oh, Mrs Landin.
I don't think so at all.
Of course not, my dear.
Experienced perhaps. But old, never.
Claudius.
Be careful.
Aren't you warning the
wrong party, my dear?
Same old place.
Remember the last time
we were here, Claire?
Your uncle had left you that Florida
property and you were going to sign ..
I feel so miserable.
- Poor darling.
You come right over here and
lie down for a few minutes.
Maybe I can find you a drink.
I never drink before evening.
A cloudy day.
Couldn't you stretch a point?
You know, all last night
I hardly slept a wink.
Yes.
My head was so stuffed up.
I wonder if you have any fever.
No. No, I don't think so.
You are nice and cool.
Now, use your inhaler again
and then take a little nap.
You never made all that fuss
over me when I had a cold.
I never remember your having a cold.
Maybe that's how I lost out.
Perhaps that's what's wrong with me.
There is nothing in me to arouse
the mother instinct in you.
You know, Bill.
Somehow your jokes seem
a little flat these days.
You know Claire, somehow
they seem a little flat to me too.
I wonder if I'm depressed at the
prospect of being free again.
[ Radio music ]
Shush.
What?
Oh.
Alright. I won't disturb him.
He's more agreeable asleep
than he is awake anyway.
What will I get for him, a lullaby?
Or maybe you'd like to croon to him?
I'd much rather you'd just be quiet.
No Claire, I don't dare do that.
Because if I do I'll start
remembering things.
Funny, without any rhyme or reason
you start remembering things.
The last time we were here
about that Florida property.
I remember we had lunch down at a little
Italian restaurant on Bleaker Street.
And the little fellow, the proprietor.
He was a cute little guy.
He showed us to a table over
the way in a dark corner.
Claire, do you remember
what he asked us?
He asked us if we were sweethearts.
Then a violinist came to the table and
played that romantic Neapolitan melody.
Bill, stop it.
Shush.
Claire.
Do you hate me?
No.
No, I don't hate you.
Well, just how do you think of me?
I think of you as ..
As an experience that I had.
One which I don't regret but
I never want to have again.
Well, that's ..
Better than I expected
or deserved perhaps.
Now, will you please stop chattering.
I don't want to talk.
I want to think.
Think about me?
About us?
Or about your Prince Charming
sniffling into his inhaler over there.
Darling, are you crying or laughing?
Can't you leave me
alone just for a moment?
No, I want to dance with you.
- Well, you're crazy.
Maybe I am, but I still
must dance with you.
Bill, please.
You're crazy too as you
want to dance with me.
For heaven's sake.
- Shush.
Look here, you two.
What in the name of ..?
Gesundheit.
If there is any explanation.
For this disgraceful,
outrageous, idiotic behaviour.
I don't want to hear it.
I'm sorry for you, Claire.
When you dance with Bill, you have the
same hopeless expression on your face ..
As a drunkard has when an open
bottle of whiskey is left near him.
Why, Mr Brush. How you talk.
I think I'm very lucky to have
found you out in time.
Do you really feel that
way about it, Martin?
Yes, indeed I do. In my opinion marrying
you would be downright dangerous.
Run and lie down an finish your nap.
Take a hot bath and some aspirin. When
you get home go straight to bed, Martin.
How do you do, Mr Brush.
A million apologies.
I know I am almost an hour late.
But Mrs Frazier asked me to get some
goldfish food. I've been all over town.
I try to get the brand
our fish really enjoy.
I'm sorry.
- You're sorry?
You're sorry?
Very crude.
Mrs Landin. Mr Landn.
Your divorce.
What in the world is ths?
This is lovely.
T-G o