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Woodstock or Bust (2019)
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- Thank you. The singers will join Bob Hope and the fabulous Ann-Margret over Christmas to entertain the troops in Vietnam. So please, make donations on behalf of the troops. And now a very special treat. My daughter Meryl and her talented sidekick Lorian will entertain us. Now that's how you grab an audience. Oh! Thank you. You read it in the papers - Thank you. You hear it everywhere Bad news in the headlines You can't help from being scared I know you tend to worry When you when you see me on my own But there comes a time to cut the line And let me walk alone You've got to trust me You know above all else you taught me honesty Just look into my eyes and tell me what you see Can't you just trust me I can't promise you for certain That I'll never make mistakes But I love you with all my heart And I will never change So can't you trust me You know above all else you taught me honesty Just look into my eyes and tell me what you see Can't you just trust me - And now the moment you've all been waiting for. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear Lucy Happy birthday to you Lor, would you quit smoking, you're a singer, you shouldn't be smoking. - Uh, John Lennon smokes. Janis Joplin smokes and I bet all the Rolling Stones smoke, too. - All right, well I don't know how they can smoke and still sing, it's bad pipes, Lor. Seriously-- - Bob Dylan! Just listen to his voice! For sure he smokes. Mer, they're all singing smokers. Maybe it enhances their voices, did you ever think of that? Gives them that raspy sound. How many times. Come on, seriously?! Oh, kinda cool. - I like it. - Seriously, Mer? We need to get our songs out there and play some venues. I don't know, some coffee houses or the country fair coming up! Maybe we can get in the lineup. - Slow down sister, I think we're doing pretty well. Two gigs this month, plus the retirement home. - That's getting old. And the old folks are just, getting older. I'm starting to feel like one of them. - Will you still love me when I'm 64? - Of course I will. But we need to move up the food chain. - Well I think, whatever is meant to be will be. - Nope, I've always believed you gotta make things happen. Giddy-up, Sally. Have you ever asked your mom to get you up on stage with the singers, or I don't know, how we can take the next step? - Nope, no I'm afraid Grande Dame Diva's advice is limited to higher education. - Beg her. Okay, Lor. Meet at The Shack later? - Affirmative, Captain. Sweater! - Bye. - Bye. Good girl. - Knock, knock, are you decent? - Come in, sweetie! How did your show go? Did you say hi to Lucy for me? - Pretty much the same and Lucy says, hello. Mom? - Are you pregnant? - What? No! At least, not yet. So I was thinking, you know, you're a professional and I really think that it's time for Lor and me-- - Lor and I. - Lor and I want to start branching out a bit. You know, find some real paying jobs, bigger audiences, jumpstart our career... What do you think? - You've got so much on your plate already, Lor and you're only 17. Could you get them some milk please, honey? Hey, I was watching that! - I know how old I am. But we have enough original songs and I think-- - They're super badass, I mean, don't you think I'm ready? - Please do not use that term. - When you turn 18, you can run away with your guitar. - Look at your Dad. He's been at the same club with Don Ho for years. - Okay, Dad loves making music and so do I. And I love composing and singing. I don't wanna do anything else! - Do you know how hard it is to become a professional in the music world? - You know that's a horrible lifestyle. All of those musicians are on drugs! Driving around from town to town, playing bars, drinking! - And to be quite honest, you just don't have it. A great hobby, though! - A hobby? No. - I want people to hear my music. To find meaning in what I'm saying! - I know it's tough. But Mer is really talented. She could be the next Joni Mitchell-- - Or Judy Collins, it's why God put me on this Earth! - It's what I'm meant to do. - You better get used to it. - Maybe throw in a little side of support! - Shack! - Now! We need a plan. We gotta go big or go home. - Okay, shhh. There might be guys in here. Oh, la la, mon chri. - Where is the good stuff in here, huh? - Wow. - Va va voom, I can't believe women actually look like that. Seriously, she kind of looks like a plucked chicken. - They wrote an article about Dr. Martin Luther King. He made a speech about Vietnam War and called the United States, the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today. - Wow, he's the man. - Hm, he was the man. You know, he really should've been the one running this country. Wouldn't it be so cool, a negro president? God, that'll be the day. - Yeah, when pigs fly! - One brilliant star, snuffed out. Don't you ever imagine how different things would be if Kennedy and King were still alive? - Not really. - Oh look, here he says, a nation that continues year after year, to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death. I actually heard that these magazines have some pretty cool articles. - Look, The Monkees are offering a triple date with Davy and Peter! One day there'll be a contest to win a date with us. You will see. - Uh-huh, sure. - Mm-hmm. Woodstock Music Festival with Joan Baez, Creedence Clearwater, Canned Heat! On the road again! - On the road again? - Janis Joplin! Crosby, Stills & Nash! - Who! - Jimi Hendrix! Ah, oh my God and look... Meryl and Lorian. We're going to Woodstock in three weeks! - No way Lor. - Woodstock, come on! It's our calling! Can't you hear it? I can't hear you! - Lor you are so loaded. Okay there's no way we're going to Woodstock, all right. I think I just saw your marbles fall on the floor. Uh, yep... There they go, right out the door. - Please, Mer? We really need this. We really, really need this. We can prove to ourselves, our friends, our family, especially, your mother, just how great we really are. And don't say no, 'cause I'll just keep pushing you all the way to New York. - You're silly. - We need a band name, right. Okay. How about Soul Sisters? - How about Crazy Chicks from Portland, Oregon. - No, no, no wait, I got it. How about, Sexy Sadie The World is Waiting Just For You? Or how about Shack Hacks? Hmm? - Todd! Um, hi! - You know there's no girls allowed. - How long you been out there, Todd? - Long enough to know, you guys are going to Woodstock. - Yeah. - That's pretty crazy. - Yeah, so cool. - Danny Man? - Hey. - What's happening? - Hmm. - How about, you can take me with you? - Um, see we'd love to but it's highly unlikely that we'll-- - Well you know I mean, I would kiss the ground you walked on all the way up to the back of your leg, Meryl Fontana. Keep y'all wrapped up in my love shack. - Um, but see we're not prepared and-- Why don't you just keep your wiggle out of my friend's waggle and help us out, huh? - Uh, yeah sure, we could rally the troops and brainstorm. - Yeah. - Danny Man, that's awesome! I'll hold you to that. Yeah. - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. - All right. - Yeah, so we should go. - Really? - Do you need to go? - Yeah, we sh... Yes, my little dreamer. It was nice, seeing you. Nice seeing you, Danny. Lor? - I'm gonna take this with me. See you later, boys. - Bye. Oh, my God. - Wow. She's so hot, dude. - Think we should take that sign down? - Yeah. - We should take the sign down. - We should take the sign down. - Yeah. - Dynamic Duo? - Hmm, already taken. Oh, how about Drunk Ditzy Dorks? - Ah, The Vulcans! - What? We're not Vulcans. - I want something Beatles-themed. How about Revolution? - I like that. Revolution! - Revolution! - Look! It's Cassiopeia. - Where? - Right there, see look. - Oh, yeah! - I love her. Tethered to her throne, ruling the universe. - So New York, in the United States. Take us a few days to drive there and then we'll rule the universe playing our songs. - Lor you are twisting my arm into something that is no doubt going to get us in so much trouble. - Seriously, Mer? - Yeah. - This is our moment to shine like stars. They'll see. - Do you really think they're gonna let us play? - Why not? We can go up last. We can just start belting out our tunes. - Right. - I can talk us in! I swear! - Right. 'Cause we can just go up to Mr. Hendrix and say, oh, are you almost done? Because we really need to get home 'cause Mommy's calling. No. - I think I would call him Jimi, wouldn't you? - They'll see. That stuff is so grody, Lor. Can you please, just, face-- - Fine. - the other way. - What are you doing up there? - Stargazing, Mom! - Get down from that roof now! - And deciding what songs to play. - Yes! We are going to Woodstock! Mmm, now that's a cracker! So what songs are you playing, all originals? - You know what I love about you, Lor? - What? - You have wild hairs growing out of your ear. - Hmmm? - Keeping things interesting, always. - We've only got one life my friend. - Mm-hmm. - Ooo-wee! Kinda has Paul's eyes doesn't he? - Mmm. - Woo! Speaking of puppy eyes... Kind of think I saw some sparks flying between you and Todd. - Uh... Yeah, I mean, I don't know. He's kinda cute. Why, would you go ape if I date him? - Kinda hot for him, you know. Except he seems more into you now. - Well I hang it up, if you're still workin' on it. - It's kind of hard for me to work on it, when you're coming on to him, every chance you get. - Coming on to him? He's the one that's flirting with me. - Really? - Yes! Don't get so ticked off, okay. I'm just trying to be considerate. - And I'm trying to be cool. But it's hard because you flirt with every single one of my boyfriends! - Okay. - So-- - Flirting and being friendly are two different things, and also he's not your boyfriend, is he. - Fine, okay. - Okay, okay, I have a song. - Okay. - No name yet... But I'm working on it. - Let's hear it. I can see what you're thinking She plays you for a fool So now you'll fix her by drinking - I have an idea. - What? - How about we throw a kegger to kick off the fundraising for the trip? Complete with Ginger and the kissing booth. - Yes. - Right?! - All right guys, quiet down! Quiet down! You're all groovy, baby! Tonight we are gonna have a very, very good show for you all. We have Meryl and Lorian who are about to embark on their journey to Woodstock! Yeah! Yeah! To groove with some of the coolest, the baddest, the freakiest people-- - Thank you, Jill. - Thank you. - Thank you all so much for coming and please feel free to try some of Lorian's homemade Purple Jesus. - Yeah. - Spiked to perfection. - Let's hang loose and get blitzed! Yeah! - And I brought brownies! Guaranteed to drive the sweet right out of your soul, so come and get 'em! - We are trying to make $200 for this trip. So that means everything is for sale, including kisses from our very own, Playboy Bunny, Ginger. Woo! We're also doing any jobs within the next two weeks, babysitting, weeding, you name it, we work for cash! Take it slow, guys. - This is, Give You My Heart. You went back to your castle And pulled up the drawbridge You climbed into bed And you turned out the lights There were plenty who wanted to warm up your satin But you like it alone where you won't have to fight - Guys this will enhance your experience. Someone to share every power - These are starving artists, people! Someone to tear you apart - Here you go. - Thanks. - Here you go. - Hey, why do they call it Purple Jesus anyways? I mean, that's kinda weird. - Well, purple is the color and then Jesus is who'll be calling out to while you're puking in the oval after it. - Makes sense. I just wanna give you my heart - Everyone give 'em a hand! Give 'em hand everyone! Yeah! - Nice shot! - Really? - You know what I love to do? I like to take a hit... Hold it in-- - Uh-huh. - Take a swig of booze... Let it out. - Oh. - Instant high. - Hmm. - Here. - Lemme try that. - Oh my gosh. - Are you sure you've never smoked pot before? - I've never smoked anything before. Ow. Um... You know, Lorian is still very into you, crazy about you, actually. Todd, no please, don't make me. - Yeah well, Lorian is sweet. But you, Miss Meryl, you're a stone cold fox. - When are you leaving? - Well, it should take like four or five days to drive there, straight through, pretty much. It's on August 15th. - Yeah. - So. Where's Meryl? - Meryl? - Yeah. - I don't know. Meryl? - Oh, God. Is that Meryl's Mom? - Yeah. - Meryl! Meryl... Olly olly oxen free! - Um, I'm so sorry, I have to go, sorry! - Yeah. - Everyone get off the lawn! Meryl's Mom's home, go, go, go, go! Move everybody out of the basement now, go, go! Okay, adios amigos, go! Meryl! - She's early! - Ah! - Um, you distract her! I'm gonna, I'm gonna clean up! - Okay, go, go, go, go! - Ew... Hi, Mom! Go, go, go! - How was your show, Mom? Mom... Please, please don't freak out, everything is okay, they're just, they're having a-- - Oh, Hi Mrs. Fontana. - Meryl! Meryl! What is going on here? - Um, I mean a... Girl's night. - Girl's night! - Remember? - Really? It looks like there were more than a few girlfriends here. And this? Raising money, for what? - We're trying to raise money for new guitars, Mrs. Fontana! - Yeah. - Well, this was not the way to do it! Getting teenagers drunk in my house? You two, you make me so mad, I can't even think straight! - We are old enough to make our own decisions. And also I am so sick of you trying to control everything I do. - Control? - Yes. - This is out of control! I don't know whose idea it was to drink the liquor but it was a very stupid move! - Okay, then what do you want me to do, become a nun? - I trusted you. - Ah, sorry Miss Fontana. Ow! - Karen! - Ow, what are you doing? - Karen! Nobody digs drunken behavior. - I dig it! - No you don't dig it. - So Karen and Jill have to spend the night because obviously it's late and. - Okay. But this room better look like Mr. Clean spent the night. - Where did you run off to tonight, huh? - I was with Todd. - Of course you were. - It wasn't a big deal, okay. He just teaching me how to smoke pot. - There's a girlfriend code of conduct, you know! - I was talking to him about you. Sorry! - Don't do me any favors! - Oh my God, guys quit yelling! My head hurts so bad. - Are you okay, Karen? - Guys-- - Here. - I feel like, I might throw up again. - Oh, hold on. - I'm going on this booze. - Jesus! - I think it was the devil. - I'm so grounded. I can't even sneeze without having to explain why. Next she'll have you, what, writing a thesis on wiping your butt? - You know, I don't know about this Woodstock thing Lor. There's no way we're going. - Seriously, Mer? This is just a minor setback, okay. We'll work really hard. We'll clean her house, weed the yard and she'll just forget about the entire thing by the time we go, trust me. - Nope I don't think so. You know this is my dream, too. Mom, I'm talking to Lorian. - Maybe the two of you would like to go to this Christian camp for a couple of weeks? - Mom, she's Jewish. - I know, but I'm gonna be out of town with the singers and I can't leave you and your brother home alone. - Why? Look you can trust me, okay? The other night was just a huge mistake and we promise to never do that again. Right, Lorian? - Right. - Big mistake, yes. No trust, yes. You're two for two. Now go for the extra bonus points. Let me give you a clue, you're going to camp. Dig? - Dig. - You just won yourself a two-week paid vacation. - Camp Woodstock, baby! Where is this Summit Crest? - Mount Hood, so not far. Please, Mom? It'll give us an opportunity to play in front a new audience and spend the night staring up at the stars before getting back into school in a couple weeks. - I'm not wild about the idea of a Christian camp. - Mom, this camp will be good for the soul. And I promise I won't convert, so don't worry. And I will come back, a newly enlightened teen. - Oh, that is what I'm afraid of. Dinner's in a couple hours. - Okay. I'll be back soon to help. - Thank you. Teenagers. - Let's go shopping! Think we need to buy some new threads, my friend. - Woodstock, here we come! Oh Susie Q, oh Susie Q Oh Susie Q baby I love you, my Susie Q I like the way you walk I like the way you talk I like the way you walk I like the way you talk My Susie Q Yeah Ah Oh Susie Q, oh Susie Q Oh Susie Q, baby I love you, my Susie Q - Hello. - Bye, Mom! Well you know where you're goin' Know where you're goin' We did it! - Woo, suck our butt! Woo! - Sit down, what are you... Geez! - We gotta make one more stop before we leave town. At the park. - Why? - Gotta score some pot. Always good to have bargaining chips. Mer we're going to Woodstock, we need pot. - Looking for something special today, ladies? - Um, okay Lor, let's go. - We are headed to Woodstock. Looking to score a lid, man. - Yeah sure, $10. Dude doesn't like to deal with strangers. Dig? Woodstock, cool trip. - Mmm-hmm. - That's my guy wait here. - God raised him from the dead - Be right back. - For this reason, God gave them up to vile regions, for even their women exchanged their natural youth for what is against nature. Likewise, also the men. Leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust for one another. - I think you're judging us, is unnatural. - Men with men, committing what is shameful and receiving in themselves, the penalty of their error. - What is God's penalty for being homosexual? It's not like they're forcing their lifestyles onto you! - You've met your match, Daily! - And even as they did not like to retain God in-- - Do you even have a brain of your own or are you just brainwashed by that book? Huh? That book that's written by men, not by God, not by Jesus, but by men who are just putting their beliefs and values onto us! - Lorian can you please just leave that poor preacher man alone? I think he should leave these poor, peaceful people alone! - Back biters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters. Inventors of evil things, disobedient to their parents. - Okay you got me there, big guy. - Untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful, who know in the righteous judgment of God that those who practice such things, are deserving of difference. - He ripped us off. Damn it we're so stupid. - You and your drug shit, Lor... Can we just go? - No. I'm gonna go find that freak. You get in the car. - If you confess with you mouth-- - Fine. - that Jesus is Lord! That God raised him from the dead! Otherwise, let's face it. You are condemned to Hell. - Watch out, Hell! Here comes the chosen people! All right! - You get your drugs? - He ripped me off. I can't believe I'm so naive. The first time, I score pot from a stranger and he rips me off! That just pisses me off! - All right, relax. Got you a lid and you let off some steam. You feel better? - As a matter of fact, I do. And lookey what else. - What is that? - Orange Sunshine... Acid. Are you experienced? - No. - Well you will be after this trip. He said it's very mellow. And we are going to the rockin-est, rock concert in the world. - Man you think of everything. - Mmm-hmm. - Can we just go now? And better hide that somewhere, here. - It's free, just had to show him my tits. - Lor! - I'm kidding! - Just going as far as Hood River. Woo-hoo! - Ridiculous! - Oh, what the hell? - Hi! - Hey, you chicks have any weed? - Yeah, sure man. Mer give him the bud. - Oh. - Now, that's nice! - Uh... Lor can we take a break? - Huh? - It's just... The Columbia Gorge is absolutely beautiful and I've never been to any of those parks before and I've been all around the world with my Mom but never one of Oregon's own state parks. Isn't that so weird? Please? - Sure and I have to pee anyway. But then after that, no more sightseeing, okay? We gotta book it. Is that cool with you. - Cool with me, sister! - This one looks good. - This is it. I can see what you're thinking She plays you for a fool So now you'll fix her by drinking - Is everything okay? And I'm trying to be cool - Yeah she gets like this when she's humming her new song. That you might be wrong - I'm gonna put my feet up, chill a while. We haven't known each other very long I've got just one thing to say in her defense That's not hardness you see It's just a twisted innocence - Gotta keep on truckin' Meryl or we'll never make it on time. - Okay but no more hitchhikers, please. - You got it. I've watched her wade through hell - Isn't it so beautiful? So inspirational. Just a few more minutes, Lor. Okay? - Okay. Just a few more minutes. - All that water, restless... Determined to get somewhere. Kind of reminds me of you, actually. - That's cool. Seriously though, we gotta stay on schedule. I'm gonna hanging loose with Martin, make sure he doesn't make off with any of the food. - Okay. Like a flower that's been stepped on - I need you to help me. - Um for what? - My number's up and I can't stand up for a 'cause I don't believe in. Especially that bloodbath in Southern Asia. There's no way I'm gonna make that bum trip. - What are you talking about? Just put the gun down! - I heard so many horror stories from my friend, Tool. Men you think that got your back, blown to bits right in front of your eyes. I've had nightmares just from my friends nightmares. Bad scene, man. But there's only one way. I tried to do it myself but I couldn't do it. - What are you talking about? - I need you to shoot off my big toe. - Don't look at me. - Seriously, that just ain't right. - Lor, come here, Lor! - Please. My friend, Tool was a tunnel rat in Nam. He would come up the tunnel and the stars were so bright, like the Northern Lights. He wanted to turn 'em off... Afraid it might lead the gooks right to him. My number's up. And I can't go... I won't go! - That's, that's a bit extreme isn't it? - I can't even vote! I'll be 20 next week and I can go to war for the dicks but I can't even vote these bloodsuckers out of office? - Come on, man! Just drop the gun, please! - Stop freaking out! - It's a crock o' shit! - Don't do it. - Uncle Sam can take that war and shove it! Oh, hell no I won't go! - Oh, God! - Thank you, ladies! I would be off to war if you hadn't helped me. I will never forget you for this. - Wait, wait, wait... Can I take a picture of your foot? - Sure. - Classic. That cat was so young and so bummed out. Screw those government assholes making us fight for what? For who? - We're actually fighting Russia and the communism in Vietnam. And we lost so many of our men, and we're losing this war. - I just don't get it. It doesn't make any sense. - And a downer. - I have an idea, how about everybody just drops their weapons, smokes a joint with each other and get mellow. Problem solved. - Sally's acting up. - Something's wrong. Hi! Hi. - Sounds like, he's running a little rough. - Yes sir. I don't know, she just started making weird sounds. Are you a mechanic? - Oh, yes ma'am. I can take care of you right inside. Go ahead and pull her on in. - Thank you. - Some sort of half-breed. - Okay, I'm gonna go get something from across the street. Do you want anything? - No I'm good. I'll come get you when we're done. - All right, fire it up. That's enough. Let's take a look at your plugs. - I had her tuned up right before I left, she should be fine. - No. - Do you have another ratchet? - You uh, check your own plugs? - It should be at zero-point-three-four. They're preset, right? - Hmm, yeah, yeah. Say listen honey, I could use a little help around this shop if you're looking for a job, sweet cheeks. I mean, you could, service the cars and the men. What do you think? - I don't think so. - Well-- - It's not really my thing. I'm a singer. I just like to keep her running. - Well, you could start right away. You know. Think about it. Washing windshields, bending over the car. A lot of men around these parts would love to come and take a look at your parts. Sweet, young, hippie chick mechanic. - Look, Mr. Richard, I just wanna get my car started. Okay? - Fair enough. You all buttoned up? - Yeah. - All right. Let's see how good you are. - Far out. How much do I owe you? - Well, I'll tell you what... I'll make you a special deal. You don't owe me a thing. Yeah. - You're not some kind of sicko, are you? How much dough do you want, huh? Just, here. Just come on... Gimme my keys, now! - I tell you what... Why don't you hang on to these ones and I'll take a look. Well now, looks like I was right. That is one fine pair of titties. - My friend's waiting for me. - Yeah, I know. No, come on now. - No, stop it! - I'm not-- - No, no, no! Put me down now you asshole! - Say goodnight, Dick! - G'night, Dick! Meryl. - Huh? - Go get in the car, go. - Lor! What are you doing with those-- - Go get my camera from the car. - No, are you serious? - Go! Have a nice trip, asshole. I can't get that guy outta my head. Are you all right? - Do you think I killed him? - No. Not that freak. We should call the cops. - No. - No. Do you wanna drive, Mer? I need to rest. - What time is it? - It's late. Let's pull over, unless you wanna drive. - No. - Okay. - No I want my bed. - There should be a river over there. Let's find an access road. - Okay. - We'll camp out. Yeah? Okay. - Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait! Let's just smoke a joint. - Get up, get up, get up. Here. Yeah, what the hell. I'll take a hit. God I really hope I didn't kill that guy. - Mer it was... I don't know it, it wasn't pretty. You saved my ass. He was just so creepy, touching me. It's just. - You know that I'd do anything for you, right? To protect you. I love you. Just really hope that didn't kill him. - Thank you, Mer. And we'll get past this, I promise. I'm sure we'll run into even more assholes all along the way. We just have to, just have to expand our radar. Right, sister? Right? - Right. - That's all we have to do. Come on. - What are we doing? - I don't know. Do you wanna dance with me? - I'm high! I'm tired. - Ah, damn mosquitoes! Rise and shine, my bright star! Can you grab me some food? I have the munchies. - What the hell? - This is a minor setback, my friend. We'll just make up for lost time today. Let's go! We're almost to Twin Falls, you know the best thing we'll be legal drinking age, 18. - We're 17, Lor. - Twin Falls, my friend and then Lincoln, Nebraska by tonight and Woodstock in two days. It'll work out perfectly. - Cool. - Breakfast? - Yeah. - Just wait here. - Okay. Hi. - Hello. I got us donuts, here. - Hmmm. Did you steal that beer? - No. - Did you get me one? - Of course I did! Breakfast of champions! - Thank you. Cheers. I'd like to stop at a church. - A church, what for? - Yeah, yeah I wanna stop at a church. Just for, just for a few minutes, Lor, please? - A few minutes here, a few minutes there. Minutes add up to hours, hours to days and then before you know it, we're missing out on the greatest show on Earth, where we would play in front of the entire world, make our mark in history, changing life as we know it! Come on. - And get famous! Stop at a church. When Israel was in Egypt's land Let my people go When Israel was in Egypt's land - Lor! Let my-- Lor, are you serious? This is a Catholic funeral. - Catholics like Moses, don't they? - Just follow me. - Just tryin' to make some extra cash. Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah Sister help to trim the sails, hallelujah - Having a bit of a get-together tonight, a memorial for my, my host family, they suffered the loss of their son. - I'm so sorry. - Yeah, very sorry. - He died in Vietnam. Would you care to join us? I could really use a company. - Uh, yes... Yes, that would be lovely. - Um, don't you think we should get back on the road, Mer? - You'll have to tell me about your journey over tea? Few minutes, yeah? - Yes, that sounds great! Should we bring any flowers or anything? - No, no not necessary. It's quite a feast. Just follow us home and we'll be back in a jiffy. - Yes. - All right, just a few minutes though. - Uh, come to the left-side of the house. Our patio's in the basement. Cheerio, then. - Cheerio! - I am literally salivating. - Dibs. Seriously, dibs. Plug your glands, baby. He's mine. - This one is so cute. - I look like a fairy duster. - What's a fairy duster? - I don't know but I think I look like one. These are cute, right? - Perfect, duh. - Welcome to The Cavern Club, ladies. - Cool. - Sweet pad. You know, I don't think we ever got your name. I'm Meryl and this is Lorian. We go by Mer and Lor. - Or Lor and Mer. What's your handle? - I don't know, but you can grab on right here. - Um she meant your name. - Uh, yes... Mick. - Ooh, like Mick Jagger? I bet you can't get enough satisfaction, either. I could probably help with that. - British lad? - Right. From Liverpool. Here as an exchange student for the year. - Cool, Liverpool. - That's where The Beatles are from, right? Do you know them? - No, love. - Oh. - Liverpool is a big city. About half-a-million people, or so. Would you like to play? - Um, yeah sure. I'd love to hear you play. - You two don't mind if I get into something a bit more comfortable, do you? - Mmm-mmm. - Do you? Be right back. - Dibs, dibs, dibs. Come on, Mer you always get the guys! Just this once, tell him that you have a boyfriend, please. What about Todd? - You can have Todd. - Um. - Time to drop, ladies. - Um. - Come on, Mer. Let's take a trip. It will be fun. Come over here. - The only trip I'm taking Lor is to Woodstock. - Woodstock, stunning. Now that sounds like a trip and a half. - Yeah it should be pretty cool. You know we should get back on the road, Lor shouldn't we? Let's just not and say we did, okay? - It's only a couple of hours and I promise, you'll have the experience of your life. - Us? No, I'm okay really, I'm sorry I can't. I'm a virgin. - What are you afraid of? I'm a complete gentleman. - I'm just, I've heard a lot of scary stories about it. - She always digs her heels in. Just gotta let your hair down, Mer. It'll be fun! - No, don't even, please, trying to be fun when it's never fun-- - I'll be right here. And the parents are upstairs. I promise you'll have a good trip. - Seriously, Mer? My mind is higher than a cloud I don't want it to come on down I thought I had things figured out She makes me high when she's around Playing with my brain Driving me insane I feel so strange She's weavin' circles in my mind She's going places I never find She brings me up until it's down Then hangs me up for me to dry Playing with my brain Driving me insane I feel so strange - Lor. Lor! - Ow! - Wake up, we gotta go! - Shit! - Come on, we gotta go. - What time is it? We gotta book. - Take me with you. I'll protect you and I can drive and I'll be the beat. I promise I'll be good. I'll gather a few things and you need to pick me up for the ride but need for speed, ladies? - Um-- - Shouldn't be a minute then, yeah? - We can't take him with us. He'll just slow us down. - No, Lor no, he can... It'll be fine. Plus he can take care of some of the driving. Please, please? I need this. He's such a gentle soul, right? - I'm not happy about this, Mer. Not in the playbook. - Are you sure we'll make it? We've lost a lot of time. - Yeah, no we have plenty of time. We'll still make it by day two, don't worry. - Yeah you're right. They probably won't let us play until the end anyway, huh? - Is that a love bite on your neck? - I don't know, is it? - Yes. - I know that we were making out but I don't know this might sound a little weird Lor but I think he might've popped my cherry. I go, shh-- - Seriously?! - Yes, yes I don't know, but I don't know for sure yet. - How come I didn't know about this until now? - Because you were trippin' around the room and I don't know, I saw Mick and he was, he was getting a woody and it just kept growing and all I could think about was Pinocchio's nose you know, just getting longer and longer and and then he just pulled me on his lap. - I do remember seeing you guys in the corner of the room. Yeah you were in his lap and your skirt was hiked up-- - Oh my God. - Yeah. - 'Cause see, but I don't know if he actually like you know, got it in. You know what I mean? I don't know, I was just, I don't remember, I was so high and it was so surreal. And I just, I just, I don't know. - Hmm, you think that maybe you're gonna marry him now? 'Cause I always thought that like, if you went that far with somebody then you should probably marry them. - I mean... I mean, I like him, but I don't think he's marriage material. - Well, you know, we're in Utah. Let's both marry him. We can take turns. - Hmmm. - Sound good, right? Here. Propose to him. - Mmm-hmmm. Will you marry me, Mick? Hmm, what do you say, old chap? Mick? Mick. Mick! Mick wake up! - What's going on? - Uh... Mick! I don't know, I hate to say this Lor but I don't... I can't find a, I can't find a pulse. - What? You can be serious, what are you talking about? Oh my God, he said he had a need for speed, right? I think he might be dead, I think he might be dead! I think wait Lor, Lor-- - What?! - Just pull over. Pull over right now. - What are you talking about?! - Pull over! - Why is he sweating so much? - I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, maybe he's, maybe he's in a deep sleep, could that be possible? - I don't know, I don't know! - Lor where are you going? Wait up, you can't, we can't just leave him here! - He's not going anywhere! What are we going to do? - Just, I need a minute to think. Just give me a minute! - Oh, Lor come on, we have to take him back. But are you-- Are you praying? - Oh, Scotty. - Can you just get out of the water? - We can't go back. No, we could still make it by day two, Mer. Woodstock or bust, remember? - Lorian! This is a bust! Okay, what about Mick Jagger? We have to take him back. That's, that's what? That's three hours. No backtracking, that wasn't in the plan, it's never gonna work. - We'll take him to a hospital in Salt Lake City, drop him at emergency and then run. - Are you a Looney Tunes? We can't do that! The cops are gonna be all over us. We're probably already wanted in Oregon, okay. No way, we are not doing that! - Stop freaking out! Why don't you just blink your eyes and get us out of this mess, genie? - I cannot believe you are taking a photo right now, Lorian. God that's evidence, you idiot! - More like a souvenir. Mer! - I'm gonna destroy that photo and I'm taking him to the hospital. - Where are you going? Mer! You bitch! That's my own car! Don't be scraping my new car! I've been working on the railroad All the livelong day Bitch. - No, no, no, no! Crap. Shit. Copy. - Here comes Adam-12. Hi officer, good morning! It's still morning, right? - So, you were moving pretty fast there, darling. Got license and registration? - Uh, yes I do. It's um... Right... Yeah, here you go. - You're a ways from Oregon, what are you doing out here? Where you headed? - Um, we were just... We were just gonna go camping. - Are you guys a bunch of rapists and murderers? Because I've had my fill with nasty men and I'm not about to get into a truck with God awful jerks that stink who want sexual favors. Shit. In the cavern - Says here, you're not the owner of this car. Where's Irene Rosen? - Uh, um... Irene is her Mom she's of-- - Who's this sleeping beauty, here? - Hey, are we... Are we there yet? Um, where's Lorian? - I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car, ma'am. - What are you in for? - Where's Mick? - He's fine, the cops got him. - Good. - You've met? - Yes, this is Lorian, my friend I was talking to you about. - Ah. - Ex-friend. That bitch stole my car and left me to rot in the desert. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Careful what you call her, tiny. Now she is a fine young woman. Cool head, sister. - If she's so cool, then why did she leave me all alone in the middle of nowhere with nothing? - Oh, Lorian... Always so dramatic! I'm the one that sent the cops to come pick you up. - Don't call me sister. And why are you defending her crap? - Hey! Do not talk to Sheelah that way. - Why don't you sit your skinny ass down. - Okay. - Now, little miss big shot, won't you tell your friend why you're so mad at her. - She stole my car! You should've seen the birds of prey circling, anxiously awaiting fresh roadkill-- - Okay, okay, let's change the channel on this bum trip. - God, you have no respect for anyone-- - Hey, hey... Thanks, Meryl. Now, let's get deep here. Right? The truth, you little hood. - She left me in the middle of nowhere! - Get real, chickadee, get real! - I don't have to say shit to you, you dumb old, scurvy bitch! - Oh! Ah well, I just lost my cool, puny! I guess now, you're gonna have to get a taste of why the fuzz threw me into this pokey the truth! - I don't wanna talk about the truth! - Oh, truth hurts? - Hey, Sheelah, let her go. It's okay, it's okay. - Meryl always gets all the hunks. - Don't tell me. Turn around, look her in the eye. - Seems like every time I like a guy, you just find some sort of way to cut in. You're so beautiful and talented, I feel like you just go for guys just to put me down, or to win some sort of competition. But I know that you'll always win. And I'll always lose. So I lose my confidence. - Hey Mer, look at Lorian. Turn around. - It seems like whatever Lorian wants, Lorian gets. - What are you talking about? I do all of this for you! - Hey you shut your face, little queenie, Meryl's got the floor. - You just, you're so damn pushy sometimes Lorian and you never take into consideration anybody else's feelings. - That's not true. - It is true. - I'm doing all of this for you, Mer. - Why? - Why? - You have no idea? You're the brightest star in the entire galaxy. All you need is the confidence to shine. - Sorry. - I'm sorry. - I'm fine, Mom. I know, I'm sorry. It was stupid, okay? - Miss Murphy, we'd like to hold him here until you can come collect him up. I can check the schedule but we'd have to keep him in juvenile detention overnight. It's not the most comfortable situation. - I'm glad you're okay. - Can't I just go with the girls? I mean, they're really nice and they're not slutty. They'll bring me home. They're going to Woodstock to perform. I mean, they're really good. You heard 'em. - Son, I can't allow that. You're only 15-years old. - We can take him home tonight if everybody's okay with that. - Lor, Lor. - Miss Murphy? How would you feel if the girls took Nicholas home tonight? Yes, I will. Okay. - Nick? - Nick. - Nick. I'll probably cruise around in Park City for a bit but, I love you, bye. - Now you ladies aren't gonna try any funny stuff, right? I mean, I can book you on harboring a runaway. So I mean it, you won't be hard to find, either. - No officer, we will get him home safely, promise. - Yes, we will. Let's slip. If I listen long enough to you I'd find the way to believe it's all true Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cry Still I look to find the reason to believe Someone like you makes it hard to live without Somebody else Someone like you makes it easy to give everything If I gave you time to change my mind I'd find the way to leave the past behind Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cry - Stop the car. Stop the car! - Why? - Let me out. Someone like you makes it hard to live without - Go after him! - Where are you going? If I gave you time to change my mind I'd find the way to leave the past behind Still I look the find the reason to believe - I'm really sorry I ruined you guys' trip. - Yeah, why'd you do it, Mick? Nick? - Nick. It's Nick. - All of it, tell us. - Yeah, lay it on us. We ditched our dream harboring what, a runaway? - And I made out with a 15-year old. - I turn 16 next month. - Oh yeah 'cause that, that makes me feel better. - Seriously, what the hell? - I don't know, I just, I just thought you can have some fun and I needed something, distraction and a way out. - Away from what? - My brother was in Nam. His memorial was yesterday. I guess I should've told you. - Yeah you should've told us. - Nick, you've gotta be kidding. - I'm so sorry. - We're really sorry, Nick. - Charlie stepped on a landmine and lost a leg, tried to pull him out but the blitzen was fired and he couldn't fight 'em after the attack... Just pieces. The officer said, that brother, I loved him and I never told him, ever. I hate them. - All those men lost their lives for nothing. - What is it good for anyway? I think we should take a few moments of silence and pray for Nick's brother, that his soul is still safe. - His party's over. I love you, Charlie. - I love you, Meryl. - I love you, too. - Don't worry we love you, too, Nick. How about we party for your brother, huh? Ice cream? - Come on. - Come on, let's get some ice cream. This is it Meryl! Our very own Woodstock! - We have to go! - Yes! - Oh my God, you have to go, here. - We just have to get you some new threads, first. You know it bothers me to see a woman cry - Nick? - Nick? - Yeah! And all this time I don't see the reason why Why were you so surprised to see him win this game When all of these years you've been doing the same Marianne, Marianne, did you forget your original plan Marianne, Marianne, don't you recall how it all began I know you've always liked a challenge Don't be tough And now this time you found somebody who plays rough Don't you see what's happened here was Just a matter of time Looks like you've found yourself The perfect partner in crime Marianne, Marianne, did you forget your original plan Marianne, Marianne, don't you recall how it all began Marianne, Marianne, did you forget your original plan Marianne, Marianne, don't you recall how it all began Don't you recall how it all began Don't you recall how it all began - We got inspired to play some songs in protest of the Vietnam War. All we're saying is to give peace a chance! - Peace now, peace now, peace now, peace now, peace now, woo! - No Nam! - No Nam! - No Nam! - No Nam! - No Nam! - No Nam! - No Nam! No Nam! No Nam! No Nam! No Nam! No Nam! No Nam! No Nam! - We wanna dedicate this song to Nick and his brother, Charlie. Charlie was lost in Nam. This is one of my favorite songs, written by Meryl. It's called, Northern Lights. There is one thing that we all share on this Earth and that is the starry night sky. Wasn't more than a month ago in this same old place You were sittin' here holdin' onto me Now you left here a minute ago with a brand new face Wondering who you were hoping she might be Tell me did you see the Northern Lights When you walked into the night Did you think about how life could be so fine Or was your vision getting blurry Or were you in so big a hurry I guess you probably didn't really have the time I guess you probably didn't even have the time Giddy-up, Sally! - Take us home, girl. - Oh, officially this was a bust but a pretty damn cool bust, huh? - Cool? That was the bitchin-est, far out-est, out of sight-est and whatever other hippie-dippy word you can think of-- - Grooviest! - Grooviest! - Thing I have ever done in my entire life and I will never forget you two, rock stars. - Yeah, best ever bust. Did you see the Northern Lights When you walked into the night Did you think about how life could be so fine Or was your vision getting blurry Or were you in so big a hurry I guess you probably didn't really have the time I guess you probably didn't even have the time Just a kiss about politics In this small town scene You can't make a move without making a sound But understanding just makes me sick And I still feel mean Every time I see you out flirtin' around Tell me did you see the Northern Lights When you walked into the night Did you think about how life could be so fine Or was your vision getting blurry Or were you in so big a hurry I guess you probably didn't really have the time I guess you probably didn't really have the time I guess you probably didn't even have the time |
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