- Did you make a wish?
- Yeah.
No lunch. I got speech class.
What do you need speech class for?
You talk fine.
I'll pick you up at five,
we'll ride back together.
I can't. I got Emerging Markets
seminar at 5.30.
Jeez, it's your birthday. Can't they
emerge without you just this once?
- What time is my surprise party?
- What?
Come on.
I'm supposed to have you home at seven.
I'll cut out early and be home at 7.15, OK?
- All right.
- Thank you very much.
- Morning, Tess.
- Morning.
- Hi, Tess.
- Hi.
Mr Turkel's line.
Who's calling, please?
Hold on a moment.
Mr Lutz?
Hold on a second, all right?
Mr Turkel?
Mr Alagash... Hi.
- Mr Alagash is real anxious to talk to you.
- You couldn't maybe get him to hold?
You got him in Dentitech -
the one I said go short on.
It's fine, but he don't wanna
hear it from a secretary.
- There's no paper.
- What?
There is no goddamned paper
in this stall. Get me some?
Thanks. You're very kind.
You're short on Dentitech at 18.
He'll be right here.
See Dentitech closing? 17. Come Monday,
I bet it's 16 and still sittin' there.
- How you figure?
- They went public at 23 with one product.
Plaque-removing mouthwash?
You rinse, you get this glob of plaque
you gotta spit out.
Maybe it'll be big, but no one ever got rich
overestimating what
the American public wants to taste.
Maybe.
Before I run, Tess, I have
some good news and some bad news.
The straight shot is they turned you down
for the entre programme again.
- Why?
- We did all we could, Tessy.
You're up against
Harvard and Wharton graduates.
You've got some night school,
some secretarial time on your sheet.
- Christians and lions, Tess.
- That's right.
- And the good news?
- Dave has a friend.
Bob in Arbitrage. You're so hungry,
they're looking for hungry down there.
- Really?
- Hungry's the name of the game down there.
Bob's looking for an assistant
and wants to meet you for a drink.
This isn't another setup?
Do I look like a pimp?
Bob says he's looking for hungry,
I think to myself "Tess".
The rest is up to you.
- Bob in Arbitrage.
- Bob Speck.
Extension 256. Expecting your call.
Go get 'em, Tessy.
You should have told us.
Congratulations, Tessy.
Thanks.
Mick?
Surprise.
Happy birthday.
You look great.
Come here.
You know, Mick, just once I could go for,
like, a sweater or some earrings.
You know? A present that I can
actually wear outside of this apartment.
So...
Is this where you usually meet for drinks?
This is a big week.
A super week. We are celebrating.
So, Arbitrage. Talk about adrenaline, huh?
What do you think is the most
important quality for a great arbitrager?
- Well, we'll go through all that
at the hotel. - The hotel?
The company has a suite at the Ritz Carlton.
They give it to us boys on a bonus basis.
We're gonna party.
I'm sorry. Allow me. I'm so sorry.
Hey, Bob. Please.
- Sorry, I just... I get
a little carried away.
Arbitrage has put out
this "Introduction to... "
...tape for the business schools.
- Let's put it in. If
you have any questions...
That would be great. Thanks.
It's the wrong tape. Unless of course you...
Bob, you're not seriously looking
for a new assistant, are you?
Not at this moment. But I'm always
on the lookout for new blood.
I am hungry, but I am not that hungry.
- I wouldn't put it that way.
- I would.
- Would you pull over here, please?
- What are you doing?
Party, Bob.
Hello, Tess.
You're late, Tess.
Yo, David.
Little bitch.
You gotta see this to believe it.
Take it easy.
Bastard.
- Tess...
- I know.
You don't get ahead in this world
by calling your boss a pimp.
Well, he is.
Been lookin' at your file
here.
This is the third time in six months
I've had to place you.
- It wasn't my fault.
- Where have I heard that before?
Ruth, I'm 30 years old.
It took me five years of night school,
but I got my degree with honours.
I know I could do ajob.
Ask any of my bosses, even Lutz,
if Tess McGill hasn't called a few.
You ask 'em. I don't think
they're gonna sing your praises, Tess.
Here's something for you.
Transferring down from Boston.
Mergers and Acquisitions.
Name of Parker. Starts Monday.
- You go home and cool off.
- OK.
Tess...
This is the last time I can help you.
Four strikes, you're out.
Tess McGill for Katharine Parker's office.
- It's the last desk.
At the end of the aisle.
Hi. I'm Katharine Parker. You must be Tess.
Hi.
Great bunny.
I don't usually have a bunny on my desk.
It was my birthday a few days ago.
- No kidding. Mine's next Tuesday. How old?
- 30.
Really? Well, I'll be 30 next Tuesday.
We're practically twins.
- Except I'm older.
- Just barely.
I've never worked for somebody who was
younger than me before. Or for a woman.
Well, there's a first time for evertyhing.
It's not going to be a problem, is it?
- No.
- Good.
Why don't you pour us a couple of coffees
and come on inside? I'm light, no sugar.
The stock is at 38, the tender's at 56.
Come in.
Yeah, what do we do about that?
Well, I just checked my three.
What are yours?
Yeah, I have that one.
I think he's in an underwater position.
All right. That's our first and second call,
and then we'll see where we are.
I'll count the minutes. Bye.
Thanks.
So, Tess, a few ground rules.
The way I look at it,
you are my link with the outside world.
People's impression of me starts with you.
You're tough when it's warranted,
accommodating when you can be.
You're accurate, punctual.
You never make a promise you can't keep.
I'm never on another line, I'm in a meeting.
I consider us a team,
and as such we have a uniform.
Simple, elegant, impeccable.
"Dress shabbily, they notice the dress.
Dress impeccably, they notice the woman. "
Coco Chanel.
How do I look?
You look terrific.
You might wanna rethink the jewellery.
I want your input, Tess. I welcome your ideas
and I like to see hard work rewarded.
It's a two-way street on my team.
Am I making myself clear?
Yes, Katharine.
- And call me Katharine.
- OK.
So, let's get to work, shall we?
This department's profile
last year was pitiful.
Our team's got its work cut out for it.
OK. Thanks.
Damn. I forgot my pills again.
It's the third time this month.
Did you hear about that shot
they got in Europe?
They're giving it to women, in their arm.
It's good for five years.
Damn pills. I'm always forgetting 'em.
- I thought you might like this.
- Thank you.
Tess, would you come in here
and bring a notebook?
They've sold the paper and
printing divisions.
They sell Distribution too,
we're talking real scorched earth.
Come on in.
Tess, this is Ginny. Ginny, Tess.
I thought I'd throw a cocktail thing
to introduce myself to the department.
Ginny here has some great ideas.
Will you jot them down?
The caterer is called Acme Eats.
You can get the number from Information.
They do the usual hors d'oeuvres.
The Raging Bull has a bartender service.
And the liquor store
on Broadway and Liberty delivers.
- Got that, Bess?
- Tess, yeah.
- If that's the way that you wanna go.
- You have another idea?
Well, I was just reading in Wabout dim sum -
these little Chinese dumplings.
A restaurant on Mott Street
does them for cocktail parties.
I love those little dumplings.
- It might be more fun
than the usual tidbits.
- I have it on my desk. I could get it.
- You read W?
I read a lot of things. You never know
where the big ideas could come from.
I guess you're right. If dumplings
can be considered a big idea.
- Well, that oughta get you started...
- Ginny, thank you so much.
- Back to the gold mines.
- Right.
- You'll set those up?
- Right away.
Dim sum, Tess. I like it, contribution-wise.
Keep it up.
The chief says "We will give
you an honourable death. "
"But first, keke. "
Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Dim sum?
- Yes, yes.
Come on, Katharine. What do you say?
Jim, the man who spends
every weekend in August glued to his desk,
that man knows that I can't
just sneak out of my own party.
I'll tell you what, though. You get me
in on the Southeast Air divestiture plan,
I'll buy you a drink.
Bottle of Cristal, two straws.
- Deal?
- Okey-dokey.
- Dim sum?
- Hi.
Thank you. What a slob.
You were so smooth with him.
I would have...
Never burn bridges. Today's junior prick,
tomorrow's senior partner.
- So, how do you think the party's going?
- Pretty well, I think.
Should I stop serving now?
- Better make one more round.
- Right.
I'd help, but we can't busy the quarterback
with passing out the Gatorade.
Arnie, my hero. You've come.
Yeah?
I have an idea
and you said I could come to you.
Shoot.
Well, you know how Trask Industries has
been looking to buy into broadcasting?
- The department is...
- Working on it, yeah.
I've been following it myself,
and all of a sudden I thought "radio. "
- Trask is looking for television stations.
- So is every Tom, Dick and Harry.
My idea is that they get their feet wet
in radio and build from there.
It's not as glamorous
as jumping right into TV,
but it's a solid place to start
and there's a lot more of them for sale.
Plus it would solve Trask's problem with
the Japanese trying to take him over,
because FCC forbids foreign ownership
of radio as well as TV.
Interesting. You've been
following this, you say?
Yeah.
No chance you overheard it,
say on the elevator?
- No, no way.
- Somewhere.
It's my idea.
Good, good.
- Discuss it with anyone else?
- Nope. You think there's something there?
Well, I can think it through for you.
Leave me your notes. I'll have a look-see.
OK.
I've been trying to get into the entre
programme and this would be a big push.
- If anything happens, you'll...
- Absolutely, Tess.
Two-way street, remember?
Yeah, thank you.
It's just... It's so exciting.
I mean, she takes me seriously.
I know you hate when I say this,
but I think it's because she's a woman.
There's none of that
chasing-around-the-desk crap.
And it's like she wants to be my mentor,
which is exactly what I needed.
I feel like I'm finally gettin' somewhere.
That's great, but let's step on it
or the pizza's gonna freeze, honey.
Maybe we could all go out sometime.
Dinner in the city.
You would like her, I think.
God. Remember when all you had to do
was a few buckles?
Yeah. Those were the days.
I called the inn. All they can give you
is a ground-floor single in the new wing.
Did you tell them it was me?
Well, I said Parker.
It's this tower room with a canopy bed
and a fireplace big enough to stand in.
Perfect. Evertyhing's in place.
- For what?
- The man I've been seeing for a while.
I think he's it. And I think
this could be the weekend we decide.
He said there was something very important
he wanted to discuss with me.
I think he's gonna pop the question.
- You do?
- I think so.
We're in the same city now.
I've indicated that I'm
receptive to an offer.
I've cleared the month of June.
And I am, after all, me.
What if he doesn't pop the question?
I really don't think that's a variable.
Tess, you don't get anywhere in this world
by waiting for what you want to come to you.
You make it happen.
Watch me, Tess. Learn from me.
By the way, I ran your Trask radio idea
by some of our people.
It seems Trask is dead set on television.
But it wasn't out in left field either.
I really liked the idea.
You just keep plugging and bring me
your ideas, and we'll see what we can do.
- Thank you, Katharine.
- Tess...
Look at me. Who makes it happen?
I do.
Who does?
I do. I make it happen.
That's right. Only then
do we get what we deserve.
Miss Parker's office.
Hi, Katharine.
- You what?
- Broke it skiing.
They won't be able to move me for
two weeks, so this is what I need you to do.
Water plants. OK.
Cable comes on Friday.
Easy with the leg, will you?
Quit staring up my gown.
Now, I'm staying at my parents' house
and the housekeeper is in Barbados.
What a mess. You need to let in
the flower man and the cleaning lady.
Sort through the mail.
The entrance code for the front door is...
It's 754-3-2000.
I know there's more,
but I can't think of what.
Go through the calendar on my desk.
There's a bunch of invitations to be RSVP'd.
I know I'm asking an awful lot, Tess,
but I don't know what else to do.
- I need you to take over.
- OK. Bye.
Regarding those horrid little
knick-knacks from the Alberts...
Dear Eleanor and Gary.
Thank you for the salt and pepper shakers.
Not only are they the perfect
house-warming gift...
...but it was so dear
of you to think of me.
Dear Sister. It's hard
to believe it's been eight years...
...since we said goodbye to Wellesley,
but of course we never really say goodbye.
On behalf of the Alumni Giving Fund,
I am writing to you to ask...
Dear Sister. It's hard
to believe it's been eight years...
...since we said goodbye to Wellesley,
but of course we never really say goodbye.
On behalf of the Alumni Giving Fund,
I am writing to you to ask...
To ask... To a... To ask... To... ask...
I am writing to you to ask...
Dear Momo and Baa.
Here I am living in Mummy's house
while I brave the New York real-estate market
looking for a place of my own.
I miss you all terribly,
but it will be so lovely...
...to see you when you return from Barbados.
Till then, have fun. Much love to you
and, of course, to Claudette.
Love, Kiki.
To Jack Trainer,
Dewey Stone & Company, from me.
Re: Trask Industries -
radio network acquisition.
Hard copy on this from the home
computer. Do not go through Tess.
To Jack Trainer,
Dewey Stone & Company, from me.
Re: Trask Industries -
radio network acquisition.
Hard copy on this from the home
computer. Do not go through Tess.
"Two-way street. "
And "You make it happen. "
- What? No class?
- No class.
Tess, this is not what it looks like.
I mean, it is what it looks like,
but I can explain.
- Well, not exactly explain.
- You snake.
Shit.
Come on, Tess. I'm sorry, I really am.
I love you. Come on.
Come back and hit me.
Please.
Hello. Mr Trainer's office, please?
Hello. Tess McGill calling from Petty Marsh.
May I put her through?
Thank you.
Mr Trainer?
Hi, this is Tess McGill.
I work with Katharine Parker...
...over here in Mergers and Acquisitions.
I have a proposal that
I'd like to discuss with you.
Not over the phone, though.
I have an opening
tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock.
OK.
I'll messenger an outline
over to you right now.
Bye.
Yes, I'm calling for Katharine Parker
in regard to your invitation.
Miss Parker is out of town, but Miss Tess
McGill will be attending in her place.
Yes. Thank you.
Why does it do that?
- For cleaning.
- Are you kiddin' me?
No.
What is this thing you're going to anyway?
The closing party for the Minidyne-Dalton
merger. Dewey Stone is throwing it.
That's where Trainer works.
It's the perfect time to meet him.
Mix business with pleasure.
Fringe times are crucial.
What'd you do, snatch her invite?
Well, she can't use it.
It's important for me to start interacting
with people, not as a secretary...
But as a total impostor. Right.
This is it.
It needs some bows or somethin'.
No. It's simple, elegant,
yet makes a statement.
Says to people: confident, a risk-taker,
not afraid to be noticed.
Then you hit 'em with your smarts.
Here. Shoes. I need shoes.
$6,000? It's not even leather.
$6,000?
$6,000.
- Cyn, I can't breathe so good.
- Oh, God. Come here.
Sit down. Let's see
if she's got anything soothing.
Valium. In the convenient economy size.
- You sure?
- Just chills you ever so slightly.
You won't even notice it.
Are you sure about this?
You wanna be taken seriously,
you need serious hair.
Go for the jugular.
There are 19 million shares outstanding.
We got 25. We get another 5,
we've got 'em by the throat.
Trainer, let's grab 'em by the balls.
Cut 'em off at the knees. They'll be
eating out of our hands. What do you say?
- Anybody thirsty?
- We need this one, Trainer.
- You need this one.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I've been looking for you.
- Why? Do you know me?
No, but I promised myself that,
when I saw you, I would get to know you.
You're the first woman here
that dresses like a woman,
not like a woman thinks
a man would dress if he was a woman.
- Thank you, I guess.
- What are you doing here?
I'm looking for someone myself. His name
is Jack Trainer. He works at Dewey Stone.
Do you know if he's here?
Why are you looking for him?
Well, I have a meeting with him tomorrow.
I thought it might be nice
to say hello and get a head start.
Well, he just left.
- I should be going myself.
- Have a drink with me.
I can't. What's your name?
No. No names. No business cards.
- No "You must know so and so".
- What is this?
No resumes. Let's just meet
like human beings for once.
It's nice to meet you, whatever your name is,
but I do have to go.
Please. Please. One drink.
OK, one drink. But I'm buying.
OK, but it's an open bar.
I knew that. I meant that
if it wasn't, I would be buying.
Yeah.
- Tequila Gold. Doubles.
- Tequila?
Yeah. I promised myself that
when we met we'd drink tequila.
No Chardonnay, no frog water.
Real drinks.
These things are usually so boring.
I wouldn't know.
Power to the people.
The little people.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
Oh boy, oh boy...
- You OK?
- I'm fine. I'm just fine.
I took an antihistamine before,
...and itjust makes for a nice little buzz.
I didn't know they let
bad girls into these things.
- Do I look like I don't belong here?
- No.
No, no. I'm sure you're a real ace
at whatever it is that you do do.
- Damn straight.
- But how you look...
I have a head for business and a bod for sin.
Is there anything wrong with that?
No... No.
Hello. Hi.
I have to go now.
- I'll come with you.
- No.
Hey, Tess.
I need some air. Meet me outside. Thank you.
Excuse me.
Hello?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Where do you live?
Where do you live?
Park, trees, tall building.
- 166 Morton. Near Hudson.
- 166 Morton.
Might be kind of a mess.
The cleaning lady
keeps changing days on me.
Anybody's guess.
I'm just warning you cos...
...if it's the day before,
it could be pretty bad.
I don't notice so much myself,
but some of the people I've had over have,
you know, remarked on it.
It's not so bad.
Would you...
Would you like a nightcap?
I guess not.
I guess it's too late for coffee.
Herb tea? Herb tea...?
I don't have any.
It always sounds good when people
offer it to me when I'm in your shape.
I might have a little brandy myself.
Boy...
You sure are pretty.
Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up.
Hi. Tess McGill to see Jack Trainer.
- May I take your coat?
- Yes, please.
Gentlemen, Tess McGill.
Miss McGill, I'm Jack Trainer.
How are you?
This is John Romano and Bernie Kotar.
Sit down, please.
- Coffee?
- Sure.
- Milk or sugar?
- Both, thank you.
I suppose we should just
get right down to it.
Sure.
I've lost my briefcase.
In each of the last three quarters,
Trask Industries has announced plans
to acquire a major market television station,
each time unsuccessfully.
At the same time they've expended time
and money fighting off a takeover attempt
by one of their Japanese competitors.
Buying into radio would, in one fell swoop
accomplish two important tasks.
It would give Trask
a solid base in broadcasting,
and, because of FCC regulations forbidding
foreign ownership of radio stations,
it would wipe out the threat
of a Japanese takeover.
Interesting idea.
But I don't like it.
Trask has got a lot of cash
on their balance sheet.
That's why they're a takeover target.
A radio station is small potatoes.
I can't see him biting.
I've already thought of that.
I figure that we look for a radio network -
one with a real high profile.
And with the surplus cash,
we implement a major stock repurchase.
So Trask is protected
and their stock goes up,
...and everybody's happy.
Or not.
Shoot me. Just shoot me.
Would you cut that out?
They didn't throw you out, did they?
Well, they don't exactly have bouncers.
They're a little more subtle than that, Cyn.
Oh, God. And last night.
Yeah. I should've checked the milligrams.
Live and learn.
Maybe he'll feel sorry for you, and make it
up to you doing your deal or whatever it is.
I'm not looking for sympathy.
You know, I had a shot at...
It's him. He's here.
Do me a favour. Be me. Be my secretary.
- Tess.
- Cyn, please, do it for me.
OK...
Tess.
- May I help you?
- Jack Trainer to see Miss McGill.
Let's give her a shout, shall we?
You decent?
A Mr Jack Trainer to see you, Miss McGill.
Thank you, Cynthia.
- Hold all calls, Miss McGill?
- Yes, Cynthia. Thank you.
Can I get you anything, Mr Trainer?
Coffee? Tea? Me?
Isn't she a riot? That'll be all, Cynthia.
Why did you say you weren't you last night?
Because I knew what would happen.
All mergers and acquisitions.
No lust and tequila.
That was... Thatjust happened, OK?
I wanna make it clear...
What did happen exactly?
The earth moved. The angels wept.
The Polaroids are...
are in my other coat.
Nothing happened. Nothing happened.
I woke up in my underwear.
I'll bet you looked nice.
Did you get me that way?
I... I took off your shoes and dress,
I put you on the bed.
I kept my eyes closed the whole time.
And that was it?
I might have peeked. I don't remember.
Look, I don't have all day to hang out here
and discuss your sex life.
Here.
- What's this?
- Open it.
What's this for?
I thought you could use a better briefcase
if we're gonna put this deal together.
- You liked it.
- It has possibilities.
I wanna go to Metro Radio Systems.
They're a family-owned,
mid-sized network in the South.
They had offers before and rejected 'em, but
the father's about to retire,
and the son's just been forced out.
A lot of squabbling. A good time to go in.
OK.
Why didn't you just put it together
with your people here? Why come to us?
Will you excuse me for one second?
Sure.
You're not helping. No.
Bess, my computer's down.
I need Katharine's office right away.
No problem. I'll be with you in five minutes.
- I need it five minutes ago.
- I'll be right with you.
- What's going on in there?
- She's dusting.
Jack, listen. My one
o'clock is getting a little antsy,
...so can I walk you to the elevator?
Sure, but first answer my question.
Right.
I came to you because
I wanted an ace on this. The best.
Good thinking.
Well, I'll fly down to Memphis
in the morning and feel them out.
Absolutely. Fine.
...you'll just have to wait.
- Ginny, go on in. I'll
be with you in a minute.
What are you talking about?
Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?
- Are you free for dinner tonight?
- No, sorry.
How about tomorrow?
- I can't.
- When, then?
I don't think we should
get involved that way.
What are you talking about?
What about last night?
Look, I'm not that girl.
Last night was special.
It wasn't so special. I had to
carry you up three flights of stairs.
I meant unusual special.
Look, we're in a business deal
together now,
and I don't think we should
get involved that way.
My life is real complicated as it is.
I don't wanna complicate it either.
I just thought dinner, a movie.
- We both know what we're talking about.
- I certainly hope so.
You know, maybe I just don't like you.
Me? Nah.
- You sure she's gonna show?
- It's my engagement party.
She knows she's dead meat if she doesn't.
Hi, Tess.
I'm real sorry I'm late. I got stuck at work.
You're gonna be outta work,
you keep scamming like you are.
Look, I'm nervous as hell and I think Mick's
about to drown himself in a Scotch bottle.
- He's bad, huh?
- Throw him a bone, will ya?
I want happy humans here tonight.
Tess.
Snake.
You look different.
I'm not the same pathetic, trusting fool
that I was a couple of days ago.
- It shows, huh?
- Hey, Tess. What are you havin'?
Stow this behind the bar for me,
will you, Tony?
And I'll have a Chivas,
and buy Mick one of whatever.
You got it.
No, I just meant the hair, the duds,
and the briefcase. What's goin' on?
- Make fun if you want.
- No, no. You look good.
Classy.
Did you have to go
to traffic court or somethin'?
No, I just got off work.
I sort of got a promotion.
Well...
To Cyn and Tim.
To you and me.
To you and your promotion.
- To me getting a boat loan.
- You what? You did?
It was approved this morning. Put a
down payment on Jimmy Noonan's old boat.
That's so great.
"Hours of fun for the entire family.
Love, Tess and Mick. "
Thank you.
I put from both of us. I didn't know
if you'd gotten something or what.
OK, toast. We need a toast.
Thank you. Thank you.
From me and Tess and everybody here,
may your life together be long and happy,
and may the road always rise up to meet you.
When are we gonna toast
the two of you, Mick?
- We haven't really discussed it.
Not recently. - No.
You don't discuss it, boy. You just ask.
Here?
- Now?
- On your knees, man.
Mick.
Tess, will you marry me?
Maybe.
That's an answer?
You want another answer, ask another girl.
- You fuckin' humiliated us in there.
- You set us up, doing it like that.
What did you expect me to do?
Lie in front of all of those people?
Didn't know you'd have to lie.
I thought you'd want me to ask.
Three nights ago,
I find you in bed with Doreen.
We have a drink, a dance, and boom -
you want an answer about the rest of my life.
All right. OK.
Here we are, just the two of us.
Will you marry me or what?
Jesus, Mick.
Do we have to decide this right now?
I want to get things solidified.
Things in my life.
You're not the only one
who's got plans, you know.
- I said maybe.
- Maybe means dick.
Fuck maybe. I want an answer now.
Please don't yell at me.
You treat me like I'm...
Why do we always talk about
how you get treated?
Who the fuck died
and made you Grace Kelly?
I am not steak. You can'tjust order me.
You get your priorities straight,
maybe we'll talk.
Right now, we're history.
Katharine Parker's office.
I'll switch you over.
Tess, it's me.
I couldn't find the red shoes...
Tess McGill's office. Who's calling?
One moment, please.
Jack.
It went well in Memphis. Yeah...
Really well, I think. But we're gonna
have to move fast and hit 'em high.
Armbrister thinks that Metro is family,
and you know how that can be.
He's willing to listen,
but you gotta get Trask to talk sweet.
He's thinking about 70 mil.
I've been up here all night,
working the numbers.
I'd like to go over it with you.
Can we meet for lunch?
Lunch is all right, isn't it?
Daylight, a lot of people around.
There's that real romantic souvlaki stand,
out in front of your place.
You're in no particular danger, I think.
Yeah. Meet you there around one.
OK, I'll see you then. Bye.
Mick's really raw.
He says he's gonna throw
the rest of your stuff out.
He kept me there talkin' at me
till five this morning.
Oh, God, Cyn. I'm sorry.
- How hard would it be to crash a wedding?
- What are you talkin' about?
Oren Trask's daughter is getting married
tomorrow. The reception is at the Union Club.
So I figure I blend in. I get to Trask.
I mean, how hard could that be?
The wedding party's not gonna admit
that they've never seen you before.
Nobody knows everybody at those things.
- Tess...
- All I need is five minutes with Trask.
Tess, I'm talkin' to you.
What?
First of all, look me in the eye
and tell me you're not thinking,
even in your wildest dreams,
Mr Briefcase "Let's have lunch" there
is gonna take you away from all of this.
We're doing a deal together, that's all.
Cos you know you'll get your heart stomped,
just like you're stompin' Mick's.
Hey, it wasn't me poppin'
Doreen DiMucci in our bed, OK?
- How come you're all on his side?
- I'm not.
But you're not even giving him the chance...
...to make it up to you,
and that's not like you.
Look, if you're so smart, why don't you act
smart and save your ass while you still can?
Else they're gonna find out,
you're not gonna have yourjob, or any job.
You lost your man and your home already.
I'm gonna come clean as soon as
I get my end set up. I swear.
- I know what I'm doing.
- So do I. Screwin' up your life.
No, I'm trying to make it better.
I'm not gonna spend my life
working my ass off and getting nowhere
just because I followed rules that
I had nothing to do with setting up, OK?
Tess McGill's office.
Katharine... No.
Of course it's still your office.
I was just...
I'll see you, Tess.
Cyn.
Sometimes I sing and dance
around the house in my underwear.
Doesn't make me Madonna. Never will.
- Are you there?
- Yes, Katharine.
Don't get too used to those long lunches.
I'm coming back a week from today.
A week from today?
Isn't that faster than you thought?
Well, the doctor says I've got great bones.
Of course, his aren't too bad either.
Anyway, I need you to summarise
the Baron Oil prospectus...
Hi, Schatz.
And send that to me along with
the last two quarterly reports.
- You are a sport.
- Yes, I'm a sport.
OK. Bye.
So what kind of figures
have you been throwing at 'em?
Well, no exact figures yet.
What's their ballpark?
I want to get them excited
about the concept...
...before I start throwing
actual figures at them.
- Are they excited?
- They're going to be.
Wait a minute.
I've been working on this thing
for 36 hours straight.
I got a progress meeting with
the head of my department at 2 o'clock.
- Where the hell exactly are we?
- Don't yell at me.
Answer me.
As a matter of fact, I'm gonna see
Trask himself tomorrow.
I feel that we're strong enough
to go right to him.
Where are we meeting him? What time?
He's not expecting both of us.
Are you trying to fly this thing without me?
- No. I wouldn't do that.
- You go and set up this meeting without me.
What the hell kind of a way
to do business is this?
- Would you calm down?
- How am I supposed to calm down?
One lost deal is all it takes
to get canned these days.
The line buttons on my phone all have
an inch of little pieces of tape piled on.
The names of new guys over old guys.
Good men who aren't at the other end of
the line any more, all cos of one lost deal.
I don't wanna get buried
under a little piece of tape.
No one's trying to do that.
OK, so I've been in a little bit of a slump.
I'm not afraid to admit it. Give me
a break here. Don't go leading me on.
If you got doubts about me,
say 'em to my face. Give me that much.
I don't have any doubts about you.
OK.
You need me, you know.
- I mean any doubts about your ability.
- You need me at that meeting.
Is he jet-lagged, or he just lunches late?
Three o'clock's a late lunch.
Well, it's not exactly lunch,
but there will be food there.
- What's the story, Tess?
- It's his daughter's wedding.
- That's the meeting?
- It's perfect.
He's happy, he's had a little champagne.
We look for an opening. Trust me.
What are we supposed to do?
Jump out of the wedding cake?
Don't be silly.
Welcome to our party. Come in.
Hello. Nice to see you.
Do you know which table you're at?
- No...
- Yes. I do, darling.
I see Phyllis. Come on.
Glad you could make it.
Oren and Barbara Trask.
- Tess McGill. What a great idea.
- Jack Trainer.
- It's so nice to see you again.
- Well, the kids thought it would be fun.
- You must be friends of Mark's.
- Well, let's get you over there.
Actually, I should go powder my bathroom...
nose. Darling, will you wait here?
It's so nice... See you later.
I think I'll get a drink.
Bunny.
Isn't he gorgeous?
Get a grip. Get a grip, Tess. Get a grip.
We're not even invited to this thing, are we?
OK, so we're not exactly
invited. But he's here...
...and we're here.
So that makes us...
- Total idiots.
... in the right place at the right time.
You're like one of those crazed cops.
The kind nobody wants to ride with,
whose partners all end up dead or crazy.
Just act like you belong.
Do you love it or do you hate it?
- Love it.
- So do I.
But Mark says it looks like Nicaragua and
that we're making some kind of statement.
Oh, no. It's just like paradise.
It's like a paradise
with little gold palm trees.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I hope I'm not being rude, but who are you?
I'm Tess. I'm... I'm a friend of Mark's.
I'm just so happy that
I could be here for you today.
Glorious. Fabulous. Stunning, really.
Super. Elegant. Perfect.
You're right. This is crazy,
so let's just go.
Excuse me.
The woman that's dancing with Oren -
what's her name?
- Elizabeth Stubblefield?
- That's right.
- Liz? Beth?
- Bitsy.
Bitsy. That's right.
Jack...
You wanna do it, do it.
Excuse us. Bitsy, don't break my heart
and tell me you don't remember me.
- Of course I do.
- Excuse us.
Talk about a small world, huh?
I mean, here we've just met and yet I feel
I've spent so much time working with you.
In a way. I'm in Mergers and Acquisitions
at Petty Marsh.
I really wish we were having more luck
with your team.
So do I. So do I.
I've been trying to set you up
with a radio network,
but my bosses think you're stuck on
acquiring television and won't listen.
- Well, that's not true.
- That's what I said.
I said that the man who in 1971
looked into the future
and saw that it was named
microwave technology,
the man who applied Japanese management
ideas while others kowtowed to the unions,
the man who saw the Ma Bell break-up
coming from miles away,
this man did not get to be
this man-you, I mean -
by shutting himself off to new ideas.
Am I right or am I right?
- I think you're right.
- Damn straight I'm right.
If you have a property, I'd love to hear.
- You would?
- Well, absolutely.
- What looks good now?
- There she is.
I just realised that I...
I'm hogging the father of the bride.
And I see Phyllis coming... What do you say
that I give you a call on Monday?
- Our media consultant is Tim Draper.
- Tim. Right.
- Honey, I'm starved.
- So am I.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Go ahead and laugh. He wants us to meet
with his people first thing Monday.
Oren Trask? The man who said "What if
we sliced the bread before we sold it?"
All right...
No, no, no. I loved it.
I had fun. And you were amazing.
- You think so?
- Amazing.
The Fort Worth station-projected
revenues should read up 8, not 6.
And where it says the FCC ruling on
Metro's Memphis transmitter is pending,
that's outdated. FCC approved it Friday.
Doubles the signal reach.
Ups the station's value by 30.
And now back to our regularly
scheduled programming.
I guess we're ready.
- Trainer and McGill.
- Yes. Top of the stairs.
Are we waiting for Mr Trask?
Mr Trask doesn't sit in at this level.
Of course he doesn't.
Here's the way we see it. Trask Industries
has two important needs to meet at this time.
By acquiring Metro Radio Network,
you nail two birds with one stone...
Excuse me. Do you have any
other proposals besides Metro?
- No. Why?
- Metro's a terrific opportunity.
I'm sure it is, but a Chicago group
just put a bear hug on Metro this morning
and the company's in play.
- Just this morning?
- Who?
The Slade brothers.
Trask isn't aiming at radio anyway.
We certainly don't want
to get into a bidding war.
A moment, please.
Armbrister looks at Metro as if it were part
of his family. He cares who he's selling to.
Yes. And he holds the majority of the stock.
Look. If the Slades are uninvited,
and I'm sure they are,
and Armbrister and Trask can agree
on a deal, then we won't have a war.
If I get Armbrister up here,
will Trask take the meeting?
A lot of ifs. We really
don't want to get involved.
- 24 hours.
- Sorry. Not interested.
Yes, sir.
All right, sir.
Yes, he'll take the meeting.
- That was Mr Trask?
- Yes, it was.
How did he know?
He knows evertyhing.
- Thanks a lot.
- Thanks.
How'd you get this scar?
Some guy pulled a knife in Detroit.
Really?
No. No.
I was 19 and I thought
it'd be cool to have a pierced ear.
My girlfriend stuck the needle through
and I fainted and hit my chin on the toilet.
Have you been telling that story ever since?
You're the only one
who knows the true story.
Except the girlfriend.
I had her disappear.
It's too bad. Nice girl. Real shame.
Jack, there's something
that I have to tell you.
Hello.
Hi.
I know. No...
Can't wait.
Yeah, OK. Well, call me when you get in.
OK.
Me too.
OK. Bye.
Bye.
OK... There's this woman.
It's over.
But technically it's not. I just haven't
had a chance to break it off yet.
It's OK. You don't have to explain.
No, really. We were supposed to go away
together a couple of weeks ago
and I was gonna tell her then.
But I had to work through the weekend
and never got there.
It's just a... a timing thing.
It's just she broke her leg skiing
and was laid up
and I couldn't see doing it
over the phone, you know.
Kicking somebody when they're down.
I wouldn't mention it, except
she's in your department at Petty.
- You mentioned her the first time
you called. - Katharine.
Parker. Yeah.
Now what did you wanna tell me?
It's not important.
120, even.
Miss. Miss, you forget your book.
Tess. It's me. I'm back.
Thanks.
She took a muscle relaxant for the flight.
- Let's all have one.
- I don't think so.
Telephone. I need a telephone.
Tess, take care of the bags.
I'll meet you at the car.
I love these pills.
Just for a minute, Jack. Please?
I must see you, darling.
My apartment in one hour
and I won't take no for an answer.
No, I won't take no for an answer.
Oh, I'm home. I'm home, I'm home.
Oh, God...
- Did you happen to see this?
- What is it?
It's an outline of your idea
for a Trask radio acquisition.
I was planning to send
it over to Jack Trainer.
I thought I'd give your
idea one last go-round.
Itjust occurs to me, looking at it,
that it reads as though it were my idea.
Jack got burned once. He was accused of
stealing a plan for taking a company private.
He's very sticky about the ethics of
reviewing other people's strategies.
He wouldn't do it if it was from a colleague,
...and I couldn't say it
was a secretary's notion.
Anyway, the point is, Tess,
that I'm still trying to get you heard.
What am I saying? If you had seen it,
you simply would have asked me about it.
Trust.
I'll need help bathing and changing.
I need something to cover this cast.
There's an afghan on the chair.
- Perfect.
- If that'll be all...
And some perfume.
Shalimar, on the dresser.
He loves Shalimar.
- He, who?
- Jack Trainer, who.
He's on his way over.
I have to go. Doctor's appointment.
One last thing? Run down
to the drugstore and get me my pills?
- I really have to go.
- The doctor will understand.
Thanks.
- Who is it?
- Jack.
- Katharine?
- In the bedroom.
Jack.
Katharine.
Boy, did I ever miss you.
- Does it hurt?
- Look at you.
- You said it was urgent, Kath.
- I'd forgotten how handsome you are.
Thanks. Look...
I meant what I said. I really am swamped...
Boy, some welcome home.
I haven't even gotten a kiss.
There's some champagne in
the little fridge. You wanna get it for us?
Sure. And then, I really do have to go.
- Where are the glasses?
- Try the dishwasher.
Here you are.
You know I love you, Jack. You know that.
I have to get going.
These past few weeks, I've heard this
funny little sound, way deep down inside.
Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
My biological clock.
- Big deal going.
Principals are all meeting...
And I've been thinking "Let's merge. "
You and I.
Think of it, darling.
Mr and Mrs Fabulously Happy.
Katharine, it's really not
a good time to talk.
You're right.
Can Big Jack come out to play?
- Little Jack really has to get going.
- Little Katie's been so lonely...
No. No. No.
Jack. What is it?
There's something I have to tell you.
There's someone else and I...
There's someone else?
Someone else that I have to be meeting
right now. Big deal going.
Can't be in two places at the same time.
Talk to you later. Bye.
Here we are.
OK, I've gotta run. Sorry. Bye.
Tess, you forgot your notebook.
That little slut.
Goddamn little bitch secretary.
Hi. I have a meeting with Mr Trask.
- Your name, please?
- Tess McGill.
All right. It's at the top of the stairs.
Miss McGill.
Good afternoon. Let me take your coat.
- Thank you.
- This way, please.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hi. Is evertyhing OK?
Yeah, yeah. You're the only one
from Petty here so far. What's going on?
- Flying solo on this.
- Good.
Old Armbrister and Trask are over there.
We're waiting to see what colour smoke
comes out of the chimney.
Tell me something. If a colleague of mine
had a strategy they needed help with,
- Would you look at it if I asked you to?
- Yeah, sure.
No ethics problem? You know,
open to accusations about stealing?
I look at stuff all the time.
Nobody's ever accused me of stealing.
What's it about?
I don't know. I'm so nervous,
I can't stand still.
You'll be fine.
I love you.
I love you too.
Gentlemen?
There was a story on the news last night
showing life imitating
an old children's riddle.
A truck got stuck at the entrance to the
Holland Tunnel. Too high for the clearance.
For hours, the experts tried to find some way
to unwedge the vehicle, but to no avail.
Finally, a 10-year-old girl in a passing car
suggested simply letting
the air out of the truck's tyres,
thus lowering it to the clearance level,
which they did.
And it worked.
Well, by letting some of the air out of
our strategy to expand into broadcasting,
Miss McGill and Mr Trainer have effectively
shown all of us here at Trask
the light at the end of our tunnel.
Gentlemen and ladies.
I've decided to sell Mr Trask
the Metro Radio System
for $68.5 million in cash and securities.
Now, of course, this is
an agreement in principle.
As to what constitutes principles
in this day and age,
I'm gonna leave that
up to you barracudas to squabble over.
I'm certain they'll want to hear this.
Miss, this is a closed meeting
and you can't...
Thank God I'm here.
- What the hell is going on?
- You're being tricked.
- Katharine, what...
- Jack, just trust me and sit down.
I'm Katharine Parker.
I'm an associate partner in Mergers...
...and Acquisitions at Petty Marsh.
And this woman is my secretary.
- She's not.
- Oh, no? Ask her.
- You're not her secretary.
- I can explain, Jack.
Oh, Jesus. You are her secretary.
While I was laid up with broken bones,
she rifled through my desk, found my memo
outlining a Trask radio acquisition
and has been passing it off as her idea.
It was my idea.
She stole it from me, I swear.
Good God, Tess.
Don't you know when to stop?
But you're lying.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you all so much.
The upside is that I have found out
in time to control the damage.
We have containment
and we have a deal on the table.
I say pass me a set of papers
and let's get on with it.
Who's running this thing?
Just a second, please.
I know you don't believe me, but...
It doesn't matter. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Well, gentlemen.
The players may have changed,
but the game is the same.
The name of the game is "Let's make a deal".
If you turn to page 22 in your prospectus,
...I'll take you through
the terms of transferral.
Well, they did it.
Yeah. They sure did.
You really look great.
- How are you?
- Good, good.
- Business is great and...
- Mick, did you see me?
I caught it one-handed.
- Hi.
- Hey, Doreen.
And my boat's booked through three weeks
from now. Doreen's workin' the lines for me.
That's great. Really.
So how's life in the fast lane?
Well, it's fast.
It's real fast and busy and...
It's good to see you, Mick.
I guess I'd better get.
Yeah, it's good to see you too.
Cyn told us about what happened.
It really bites the big one, Tess. Really.
- We took up a little collection.
- Thanks.
It's not much. Just enough to go out and get
toasted some night when you really need it.
Don't say no. We really wanted to.
And no paying the Con Ed with it.
OK. Thanks.
So what are you gonna do now, huh?
You know... Play some golf,
redecorate the country house.
I don't know. Start all over.
Find ajob, a place to live.
And just wise up and not take
the whole thing so seriously.
I'll be OK.
- Bye.
- Bye, sweetie.
- Thank you.
- Miss you.
- Good luck.
- Bye, Tess.
- Don't work too hard.
- Bye, Tess.
Sorry.
- I've been trying to find you.
- Just leave me alone.
Just one thing. Was you and me
just part of the scheme too?
No.
If I'd told you I was just some secretary,
you never would've taken the meeting.
Think about it.
Maybe you'd have fed me a few drinks and
tried to get me into the sack. End of story.
- That's not true.
- Are you sure about that?
Can you honestly tell me it wouldn't have
made a difference? Who's fooling who here?
What's this? More stolen files?
No, it's my stuff from the desk.
- Your stuff? Now there's a broad term.
- No, it's my stuff.
Maybe you can fool these guys
with this saint act,
but do not ever speak to me again
like we don't know what really happened.
Tess, this is business.
Let's just bury the hatchet, OK?
You know where you can bury your hatchet?
Now get your bony ass out of my sight.
And if you really think
that I said I loved you...
...as part of some scheme,
then that is pathetic.
- My God. She'll stop at nothing.
- What kind of show are you people running?
Oren, I'm sorry you've had to see this,
but it means nothing to us.
Jack, let's get upstairs.
- Not without her.
- Jack.
Trainer, are you trying to blow this deal?
No, sir. I'm trying to make sure
that it gets done right.
Tess put this deal together.
We shouldn't proceed without her.
And you shouldn't go letting yourjohnson
make business decisions for you.
I'm not, sir. I'm telling you,
she's your man.
- What brings you to that conclusion?
- She said so and I believe her.
I'm afraid that's not good enough.
Now, are you with us or not?
No.
Jack, I forgive you.
Now get on this elevator.
- Sorry, Katharine.
- You will be sorry, Jack.
Ask her to tell you about
the hole in your deal.
- What hole?
- She's playing games. Let's get going.
- Fine. Go.
- No. What hole?
Look.
The People Page? Now, this is ridiculous.
"Former Miss America Dawn Bixby
has been house-hunting. "
"Seems Dawn and hot, hot, hot
DJ hubby Slim Slicker
are getting ready to take
a bite out of the Big Apple. "
- So?
- Slim Slicker's one of Metro's major assets.
Syndicated to all their stations.
The cornerstone of their programming.
Lose him and Metro's just
real estate with falling ratings.
And you're not buying it for a write-off.
Better make sure he's locked in
before they sign.
Oren, I have this covered. Upstairs.
Shall we?
- Yes.
- Yes.
Hear the lady out, sir.
There's another elevator.
You're on.
OK.
This is Forbes. It's the
basic article about...
...how you were looking
to get into broadcasting.
OK, the same day, I'm reading the Post
and there's this item on Bobby Stein,
the radio guy who does those gross jokes
about Ethiopia and the Betty Ford Center.
Anyway, he's hosting this charity auction -
real blue bloods, and won't that be funny?
Now I turn the page to the society stuff
and there's a picture of your daughter.
Nice picture. And she's helping
to organise the charity ball.
So I started to think Trask, radio.
Trask, radio.
And then I hooked up with Jack,
and he came on board with Metro,
and... and so now here we are.
Oren, we really don't have
any more time for fairy tales.
Miss Parker, let me ask you a question.
How did you come up the idea
for Trask to buy up Metro?
How did I...?
Well, let's see. The...
The impulse. What led you
to put the two together?
Well, I would have to check my files.
I can't recall exactly the...
Generally. It's not as if
it was in the mainstream.
You know, it would have to be the...
Jack, help me out here.
Oren, I beg your pardon,
but if you are insinuating...
Miss Parker, if I were
you, I'd go to your office...
...and take a long last look around.
Because in about five minutes, I'm going
to see to it that you get the boot but good.
Oren, this is a simple misunderstanding.
I... You cannot...
I can and I will.
Now get your... What did you call it?
- Bony ass.
- Right.
...bony ass out of my sight.
I'm sorry, but I simply
won't stand for that kind of talk.
Will you excuse me, please?
Why didn't you tell us all this
in the boardroom that day?
No one was gonna listen, sir. Not to me.
You can bend the rules upstairs,
but not while you're trying to get there.
And someone like me
can't get there without bending the rules.
You've got a real fire in your belly. Or was
this just a one-time stunt that you pulled?
I have something in my belly,
but I think it's nervous knots.
Are you willing to go out on that limb
every day, working for me?
- Legitimately?
- Yes, sir.
- Have to be at the entry level. Any problem?
- No, sir.
- Gumption, Miss McGill.
- Yes, sir.
- See you tomorrow.
- OK.
Trainer, Dwayne. Let's go to my office
and see about Slim whatshisname's contract.
Be right with you, sir.
- Way to go, Tess. Way to go.
- Beauty.
For you. You like it?
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Milk money.
Twinkies.
Pen, pencil, ruler. Apple for the teacher.
Remember. Play nice with the other kids
and make sure you're home before dark.
Hi. Tess McGill.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
The director is out sick today, so she'll
want to see you first thing tomorrow.
Miss Baxter's already up there.
She'll show you the layout.
- It's all the way at the end of the hall.
- All right. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Anybody'll be an improvement
over that terrorist.
I mean, something semi-human.
I didn't hear you come in.
- I'm Alice Baxter.
- Tess McGill.
I was just using the phone.
Yes, well, that happens.
- How about some coffee?
- Sure. Just tell me where.
No, I'll get it. How?
Milk and sugar, please.
Thank you.
- Miss McGill.
- Yes?
That's your desk, in there.
I don't think so.
Oh, yes. I sit out here.
I'm sorry. I thought
the secretary would sit out here.
That's right. I'm the secretary.
If it's OK, I prefer "assistant".
You've got a 10 o'clock meeting
with Slater from Development-here.
11 o'clock with Donohue
from Logistics-his office on 23.
And lunch with Mr Trask -
his office downtown, one o'clock.
It's all right there on the computer.
Just hit shift-S for your schedule.
When I saw you in here
on the phone with your feet up,
I figured this was your office.
I'm sorry about that, Miss McGill.
It won't happen again ever.
It's OK.
Maybe now would be a good time
to go over what you expect of me.
I... I expect you to call me Tess.
I don't expect you to fetch me coffee
unless you're getting some for yourself.
And the rest we'll just make up
as we go along.
OK?
OK.
- I'll be right outside if you need anything.
- Fine.
Cyn.
Guess where I am?