John! John!
He won't come out of the car.
Is he definitely in there?
George, don't be a prat, not today!
How are we gonna get him out?
What are you looking at me for?
Think he might be upset
about something?
George, will you just open the door
so that we can talk about this?
Please?
Pretty please?
Open the bloody door!
The biggest day of our lives
and you're gonna ruin it!
Well, thank you! Thank you very much!
O'Dowd!
So, George, what do you wanna be?
Don't know.
What, no burning ambitions?
Fighter pilot? Hairdresser?
Captain of the England team?
Valery Singleton's sope on a rope?
I've had them all in here today.
Unemployment is on the rise.
You need a skill.
What can you do better than others?
Make-up.
It's not really a career choice though, is it?
At the end of each play it says: Make-up by...
Listen, sunshine, the future may seem
a long way off right now.
But you take one wrong step and
who knows where you might end up?
A dress?
You could knick anything you want
but you choose a dress?
You know, son, I was eighteen once.
I had brothel creepers, drapes,
the biggest cliff in the neighbourhood.
You know, I get it.
But this thing you're going through
right now it won't last forever.
Fashions come and go.
Fashion is what you adopt
when you don't know who you are.
Quentin Crisp said that.
Oh, the puff in the hat?
I don't pretend to know much,
but I do know this.
You are never going to achieve anything
in this life looking like that.
Who says I want to achieve anything?
I mean, why is everyone so obssesed
with how I am going to turn out?
Because we're worried about you.
We want the best for you.
Whatever is going to happen to me,
I don't think it's gonna happen here.
Is it down?
I'm pulling it!
Oh, hey, there!
Hi!
Just breathe in.
I am breathing in!
Nice pants!
Am I dreaming?
Why don't you pinch yourself?
Ouch!
Alright, George?
Is this yours?
Isn't she brilliant?
She?!
It's Marilyn Monroe!
What's that made me? Betty Davis?
What's its real name?
Norma Jeane.
What are you wearing?
It's a go for two hundred quid in sex.
Found a suit in a wedding hire shop
and cut up an old kilt with the straps.
I'm sure that would be very
outrageous back home in Trumpton.
Out!
What are you, exactly?
You're not a punk. Too much make-up.
Even for a maud.
And I think we can rule out
skinhead or hippie.
Glam, perhaps?
Well, I'm nothing.
Which is why I can look good in anything.
Anything?
What have we stumbled upon here?
A boy, is it?
A boy with mascara.
Take a good look.
Would you let this in?
Go home. Make an effort.
And here they line up. The Wacky Races.
Penelope Pitstop, Peter Perfect,
the Gruesome Twosome, the Ant Hill Mob.
And I guess that makes you
Dick Dastardly. Or Muttley, perhaps?
No, there's a shortage of pricks
in London tonight.
So good of you to get a coach from
the valleys of make-up to short the fall.
We're very busy tonight.
That's because they've all come
to look at me, you Welsh fuck!
You can smell the fucking muffballs from here.
Why isn't anyone making an effort?
I mean, it's worse than last week.
TBH.
To be had.
Excuse me! Sorry!
Just let me get to the bog. Thank you!
Hey, there's a queue here.
I'll go this way.
Last train to Clarksville?
No, thanks, darling, but give my love
to Vicious and Joplin when you see them.
Sorry, I was just wanting to...
Don't appologise, you fool, keep going.
Further allegations regarding the pop
star Boy George have emerged today.
Following the revelations in the Sunday
newspaper by his younger brother David
George! George!
Fine fuckin' day, how are you?
Are you going to buy some drugs, George?
Not unless they started selling scag in TESCO-s.
How are you feeling today?
Just the same as almost three seconds
ago when you asked me that.
Why do you think your brother grassed
you up? Maybe he's a compulsive liar.
Are you taking drugs, George?
No, why, are you?
They're offering 50.000 pounds to
anyone who can prove you're on heroine.
Well, for that sort of money
I just might take it up.
Is that a confession?
I'm not a drug addict.
I'm a drag addict.
If you're going to quote me on anything,
for God's sake make sure it's that.
Now, kindly, fuck off!
Go and pick on Wham for a change.
We're worried about you, George!
You really wanna help me?
I need milk, tea, sugar, weetabix...
Oh, yeah, and some coke.
Get the fizzy brown one, alright?
Message for the fans, George?
Hey, darling!
Come here!
Oh, fuck!
Don't walk away!
I wanna talk to you.
Come here, darling, I'm talking to you!
You want some? Come on, come here!
I wanna see you!
Hey, leave her alone!
Go on, sod off!
What's your problem?
It's got nothing to do with you, is it?
Freaks!
You must be my knight in camouflaged armour!
I'm not really gay.
Oh, it's ok, I'm not really a nun!
Let's just say I memorised every
name and number from A to D.
You're a fuckin' fantasist!
What's this then?
You could have done that yourself!
You're accusing me of sucking
my own neck?
No, I'm saying you could have
pinched it there yourself
to make it look like a love bite.
That's not even possible.
Yeah, it is! Watch.
What are you, homos, doing?
A scientific experiment to prove that
George is a lying little poof.
Yeah, well, you'll meet him at the party
and then you'll see.
Party!
Alright, darling? How are you doing?
Alright?
Has anyone seen Vernon?
I need to fuck someone.
Oh, God...
Vernon!
Go right in, mate.
Hey, darling, have you seen Vernon?
No?
Oops, sorry, has anyone seen...?
Shut the door, George!
There's a breeze out enough with chuff.
George!
George, come here!
George!
Sorry, is it my turn already? How do you
want me? Up the stairs or in the crapper?
I tried to tell you, mate.
Oh, yeah? Tell me what?
Well, you know.
No, I don't know. Tell me what?
What, do you wear your mama's pearls
or you secretly listen to Billy Joel records?
I'm straight.
Well, you might have mumbled
something while I was in your mouth.
Was that what you were trying to say?
Listen up, everybody!
Without any doubt, Vernon here
is straight! 100% hetero!
Shut up!
Or what?
You shouldn't have done that.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
How does it feel to have your ass
kicked by a fairy?
Why can I only ever pull straight guys?
Because gay men don't find you
attractive.
They fuckin' do!
Gay men think you're too much.
You pattle of what a straight man
thinks a gay man looks like.
Why are you in my room?
I came to cheer you up.
Dad?
I'll just go and boil a kettle or something.
Very nice.
You're wet.
It's raining beer in a blad line.
What are you doing here?
I'm working nearby.
I promised your mommy
I'd drop in and see how you're getting on.
I called in to your office yesterday.
They invented a machine to replace me.
You should get one.
Now just drop the wisecracks
for one minute, will you?
I'm not one of your friends.
Yeah, I'll find something else.
When?
I don't know.
Doing what?
I don't know! Christ, will you just
lay off me? I'm not hurting anyone!
Right, that's it! Come on.
Get your stuff together.
What?
I'm taking you home.
You gave it your best shot
and it just didn't work out.
There's no shame in that.
Now, come on.
No, no, no, this is my home! These are
my friends! I'm not going anywhere!
I just want you to have a plan.
Oh, George, John.
John, George.
All we need now is Paul and Ringo.
So, what do you think
of the penis extension?
Lovely.
Oh, circumsized, too.
You know, your nose grows
when you get jealous.
You're like Pinokio.
With bad skin.
Are you ready, Peter?
Yeah, he's still a work in progress.
Send you a postcard!
From where?
Scotland.
Finky owns a chunk of it.
What am I gonna do now?
If you ever get lonely,
you can always resort
to a series of grabby one-night stands.
Honey, you'll be fine.
I'll be back to visit very soon.
Promise. I see.
Keep your chins up!
Oh, and I left a little something
on your bed. Enjoy it!
What am I supposed to be
looking at here, son?
It' s me.
So, what have yous all done?
Nothing.
I don't get it, son.
We're a fashion movement.
Right. So what are yous called?
We don't have a name.
Well, I probably wouldn't have
heard of you then, would I?
Hey? Hey, Dee! Dee! Listen to this!
He said he's in
a fashion movement, yeah?
So I said: "Well, what are yous called?"
And he said: "Oh, we don't have a name."
I said: "Well, I probably wouldn't have
heard of you then, would I?"
That's funny.
Oh, I don't know.
Any news on the job front?
Yes and no.
Which?
Well, I heard about a job that's going.
So, can you get an interview?
Yeah, that isn't the problem.
So, why do you want this job.
Mr O'Dowd?
I fuckin' don't.
In that case, you're hired.
You're so hideous. I don't want
the public looking at you.
Chop, chop!
Shall I check it? Or cremate it?
Just give me my ticket.
Fuck off, Steve, I'm on a break.
His name is Kirk.
He's a singer.
And what does he sing about?
Diving into muff for all I know.
He's straight.
Very straight.
That's your problem, Steve.
No ambition.
Back to your hutch!
This country hasn't been engaged in a
proper land war for thirty-five years.
Don't you think that you might?
What are you, twenty years old?
Any war in the 1980's, and there will
be one, you and me will be conscripted.
It would be cool if they put us
all together.
It would be like a
cross-dressing regiment.
Suppose they really do make us fight,
who do you think it's gonna be against?
Don't know. The Russians?
What's a Russian ever done to hurt you?
Well, they have nuclear.
So do the Americans.
What makes you trust an American over a Russian?
Anyway, Maggie will save us.
Thatcher? She's just Calahan in a dress.
You should put that in a song.
Our followers will be remembered as
the generation who skipped the wars.
That's why they fuckin' hate us.
That's what punk was really all about.
It's why it ended the way it did.
As soon as they started labelling it,
we killed it off.
Whatever we come up with next,
we'll kill that before they figure it out.
My dad thinks wearing aftershave
makes a man gay.
Who are you talking to?
Myself, obviously.
What did it look like?
Now I remember, sort of grey. Looks
like something we burried my nan in.
Voila!
Where's the boyfriend tonight?
He's gone home.
Alone?
What's it to you?
You wanna keep your eye on that one.
I reckon he's got a tendency to deceive.
Don't meddle.
Slag!
It's very sweet of you to walk me home.
I'm a gentleman.
Is that your bike I saw back there?
What bike?
Your motorbike?
Why would you think I have a motorbike?
I don't know.
The helmet and the jacket...
My mate gave me a back.
He dropped me off at the club.
Why, do you like bikers or something?
Well, as long as they don't chase me,
I'd frankly like to keep my teeth in.
This is me.
Do you wanna come and see us play
some time?
Only if you write a song about me.
How are you getting home?
I don't know. Bus...
They stopped going hours ago.
I mean, you can come in for a cup,
if you like?
You know I don't have sex with blokes, right?
I'm only offering tea.
I hope you like it weak.
You look like a girl.
Thank you.
What the hell are you doing,
you crazy old bastard?!
I'm killing them, that's what!
Killing who?
That freak they all like to go about!
That junkey that's taken over
my son's body!
Well, it's a good thing that
insanity doesn't run in the family!
I received a Grammy in this.
Get a hold of yourself, it's only a dress.
Wrong! It's an Issey Miyake.
You're so thick, you probably
don't even know who he is.
How did you get in here?
Through the window. One of the
photographers gave me a leg up.
It's nice to know they're
good for something.
They're worried about you.
I don't know if you've noticed but I've
got a big fuckin' bounty on my head
and I'm not talking about the chocolate variety.
I mean, your fellow housebreakers
out there are paid to harrass me.
Well, one minute you're
chasing after them.
Then the next minute
they're chasing after you.
I don't know, it seems like a funny
old game, if you ask me.
And you're wating your time anyway
because I flushed it all.
What I could find of it, anyway.
I'm sure you have another stash
hidden away somewhere.
You've been watching too much Grainger.
Is this my fault all this?
Did I fuck up with you somehow?
Why do you say that like
there's something wrong with me?
You don't even see it, do you?
If you were happy, I...
Just go. Please dad, just...
Just go.
I came here to help.
And what do you think
you're capable of doing?
I mean, so far all you've done
is aggravate my astma.
Why don't you let me just try?
Because I'm fine!
I mean, stop worrying about the
fuckin' red tops, dad, and look at me!
I'm your son! Look at me! I am fine!
I don't even recognise you any more.
I should have brought the letters.
People who've had the same
problems with their sons and daughters.
It's so reassuring to know.
They're worried about you, Georgie
People grab me and your
mommy in the shops
and they tell us they want
to see you get better.
We had a phone call from Japan
a few days back.
I didn't understand what he was saying
most of the time
but it was obvious it was about you.
How Boy? How Boy?
People you've never even met are
praying for you.
When I get sick, your mommy
just sneers at me, but you...
You have no idea how many people love you.
Then why do I feel so hated?
You're a girl.
If that's what you want.
Just say it.
I'm a girl.
Again.
I'm a girl.
I'm your girl.
Bloody hell!
Yeah, I love it!
What are you doing?
I think they call it singing.
That's your singing voice?
Why? What's wrong with it?
Nothing. Nothing, just...
It don't suit the song.
Well. maybe I'll write a song
that does suit my voice.
You? Write music?
Wait, wait, wait!
A pint of beer, cheers.
Alright, John?
Kirk. Shouldn't you be up there?
They can have him when I'm done.
All right. Go break someone else's leg.
What are you? A fan?
I'm a drummer.
Oh, checking out the competition, are we?
Something like that.
Jon Moss.
A handshake? How very traditional.
George O'Dowd. So very pleased
to make your aquaintance.
O'Dowd? Irish?
Irish to the heels of me brogues.
And what do you do, George?
Apart from taking a piss?
I take care of Kirk's appearance.
I thought his mom was still dressing him.
He's moving out of home very soon.
We'll probably get a place together.
Something nice in the suburbs.
Growing veg, skin our own goats...
All very Tom and Barbara.
Kirk? He's as straight as I am.
Well, I'd say the jury's still out on the pair of you.
Jon, are you there?
What do you want?
Who are you doing?
It's the middle of the night,
I'm not in the fuckin' mood for this.
Well maybe I'm in the mood so make
a fuckin' effort to get into the mood!
Get to the point, George.
I'm quitting the band.
Didn't we fire you already?
Nobody fires me, you dwarf, I am the band!
And now i'm a solo artist. Branson would
cut his own dick off to get my signature!
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
Let me know how it goes, won't you?
Go to bed, George.
Who are you with?
What does it matter?
Just answer the fuckin' question.
I'm not with anyone.
I'm on my own, trying to sleep.
Liar.
What do you wanna hear?
What do I have to say so that
we can both get some sleep?
Just tell me and I'll say it.
What do i wanna hear?
What do you wanna hear?
I wanna hear...
I wanna hear you say...
Repeat after me.
I'm a talentless dwarf and I've made a
pile of money riding on your coattails.
Go fuck yourself, George.
George! George!
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
catch a poser by the toe.
If he hollars, let him go,
eeny, meeny, miny...
Mo. Go. Before I change mu mind.
You better be fuckin' important
to be parking on my yellow line!
Sir!
He's looking for dancers! For a video!
Who?
Bowie!
Is it really him?
You can copy the look,
you can mimic the voice
but you can't fake the crooked teeth.
You're too late.
I am the chosen one.
You?!
I'll let you in on a little secret, though.
David's asked me to pick two
other dancers.
People I think would compliment
the look of his new video. So...
If you'll excuse, that's what I'm
gonna do. Better luck next time!
First he steals my look!
Then he steals my career!
I mean, I was into Bowie before
Steve Strange cultivated his first pubes!
Are you even listening to me?
Should my face be on this?
I bet that would call upon Grammies.
Bollocks! Twit! Bowie's loss is your gain.
You're gonna sell millions and then
I can finally tell my parents
what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life.
And what's that?
Help you spend all your money, of course.
That is still the plan, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Hello?
Can I speak with Kirk, please?
Don't do this to me.
Not on the phone.
You say it to my face!
Say it to my fuckin' face, you coward!
What are you doing here, you silly totter?
Have you got something to say to me?
Who is it?
It's for me, mom!
You came all this way to make a scene?
I'd walk further than this.
Well, get in here!
He's a funny looking thing.
He's had a fight with his girlfriend.
What?
Boys like that do not have girlfriends.
What do you want me to do?
Kick him out in the street?
Bless, his little heart's broken.
He'll get over it.
Kirk...
I made fuckin' onion rings for you.
You have no idea how much I've cried.
I was hoping you'd just take the hint.
But we had plans...
Everyone makes plans.
It doesn't mean anything.
Look at me.
I'm your girl.
But you ain't.
I'm Jane Fonda, I'm Joan Collins.
I'm Cheryl Ladd.
I'm whatever you think I am.
We were just fucking around, you
know? Experimenting. None of it's real.
It's like I ever got with punk.
Just shut about punk. Forget about punk.
That's what I'm saying.
Punk's gone.
I don't know what's next.
It's all changed and you've never noticed.
Everyone looks more like you
and less like me.
Yeah, well, I'd give anything
to look like you.
I've been trying to keep up.
I've been pretending I'm something
I'm not. I'm sorry, George, it's not you.
It's fashion.
Whoever the bitch is, I hope
she knows how lucky she is.
Yeah? Well at least my mom knows
how to make Yorkshire pudding
you shrivelled-dick country whore!
I never wanna see you again!
Come on, sindis.
I said: "No, David."
The travel was first class. The beach...
The most beautiful beach you've ever
been to had a massive Ferguson tractor.
Ten seconds in a Bowie video
and he thinks he's Liz Taylor.
He thought they'd be filming in Barbados
and they ended up in South End.
They should have let me drive
that bulldozer down the beach.
I would have flattened the bastard.
At least he's doing something with his
life. What have you, freaks, achieved?
You know what this means, don't you?
What?
If Steve Strange can get on television...
anyone can.
Half of it doesn't even rhyme.
Poetry doesn't have to rhyme.
I thought these were song lyrics.
That's what poetry is, you spaz!
You should learn an instrument.
Guitars are too butch,
drums make you sweat...
And no one even notices the keyboard player.
No.
I'm a solo artist.
Alright, George?
Steve and me wanted a quick word.
Here he is.
Well, I'm off. I'll see you next Tuesday.
Sit down, Rusty.
I don't wanna be involved in this.
Well, you are involved so sit!
God, who died?
Empty your pockets, George.
Why?
Because we're your employers
and we're telling you to.
You're making a big mistake.
All right. The bag.
Happy now?
We owe you an appology.
Yeah! Too fuckin' right you do.
I mean, you wouldn't try this shit if I was in NUCA.
What's NUCA?
National Union of Cloakroom Attendants.
I'm starting it tomorrow.
George!
What now?
I just like to say...
that I'm really, really sorry.
Yeah, and so you should be.
Really sorry...
...that I have to fire you.
You can't fire me, I quit!
You can't quit after you're fired!
I quit, it's just the end of my shift!
Well, you haven't mentioned it to
me or Rusty so it doesn't count.
Yeah, it counts. Me and Martin are
talking about starting a band.
Martin fuckin' Degville!
If that man ever records a note of
music, I'll burn my record player!
Yeah? I quit!
No, you're fired!
Quit!
Can we just agree that
you no longer work here?
Fired.
Quit.
Fired!
Quit!
He's fired.
He's up there!
George!
Nice night for it.
Sorry, love.
Who is it?
It's George!
Whoa, I never said you could come in.
Yeah? Don't play silly buggers with me.
Where's the drugs?
You're Malcolm McLaren?
So much for the new look.
What are you?
I'm a singer.
Come on, son.
No, no, no, leave him, he's a singer.
We should let him sing.
In your own time.
What do you wanna hear?
Whatever pops into your deluded little head.
You plucked up all that courage,
came all this way
just to sing a Sunday school hymn?
It was in my head.
Do you hear that?
That is the sound of no one applauding.
Get used to it.
I wanna be famous.
Famous for what?
Well, a thorough foreview should just about do it.
Since you force me to look for positives,
you do have an interesting exterior.
You should see me when I make an effort.
Up here!
Take your shoes off.
No, no, no, down here.
For God's sake, put your shoes on.
How wonderful!
Notorious for doing nothing.
Only now I think it's time
I actually did something.
Why fuck with the winning formula?
Have you told me your name already?
Three times, Mr McLaren. It's George.
How horribly forgettable.
We should change it.
Into what?
I've just written a song about a pilot
called Lieutenant Lush.
Do I get to record this song
as it's named after me?
No, it's for a little band I put together
called Bow Wow Wow Wow.
I thought there were only two wows.
I'm thinking of extending it.
What a brilliant idea!
Don't kiss my ass, George.
Please, call me Lush.
I have little interest in the music
industry. I sell clothes.
In order to sell anything
you have to advertise it.
That's why I put the Pistols together.
If I were to form a real band, that would
take a great deal of time and effort
neither of which I have. So, when I look
at you, what do you think I ask myself?
How do I spell his name on a checque?
Can you wear what I tell you to wear
and convince others to copy you?
I'm your mannequin, Mr McLaren.
I'm having a new house delivered.
They're sending it one bit at a time.
Did I miss the band meeting?
Well, they came early.
Well, they didn't mention it.
Look, there is no easy way to say this.
They don't like you.
Oh.
They want you out.
Well, I hope you told them where to go.
Of course I did. Which is why
they are off on tour. Without you.
Enjoy the rest of your life.
Do you know who you want to be?
Who do I want to be?
Shakin' Stevens.
Trust me, I don't wanna be
Shakin' Stevens.
I'd give anything to be Shaky.
Kids love him. Grannies love him.
He's number one every pissing Tuesday
and no one's even bothering to copy you.
I don't think it's nothing for two
people to dance on Elvis' grave.
Anyway, fuck music!
I'm going to be an actor!
You're Lieutenant Lush.
Lieutenant Lush.
That's what I said.
No, you said Lieutenant, as in Columbo.
Anyway, I'm not him.
Lush is dead.
Yeah, life cut tragically short.
But means nothing to me.
Well, I'm in the music business too.
Yeah? I thought I saw you working
in Half Price.
What do you do?
I'm starting a band if you're interested.
I hope you got more instruments than that.
You're funny.
Well, that's good enough for me!
I'm in!
They're selling pirate shirts in Top Shop.
What?
I said they're selling pirate shirts
in fuckin' Top Shop.
I walk down the street, people don't
even throw stuff at me anymore.
What does that mean?
We're dead.
Officially enough.
Doomed to walk the forgotten land
with John Lydon and Les Mc fuckin' Ewan.
Who?
Bay City Rollers.
God, they were huge!
You either made it to the Live Aid Bill
or you picked up your P 45.
I was busy that day.
You still have your recording contract.
No, I quit the band.
Or I was fired.
Go at it alone. My grandmother couldn't
pick the others out of a line-up.
Yeah? And what exactly does granny
Strange know about that?
Who do you think used to buy your records?
It wasn't just fat teenage girls
unable to get boyfriends.
My granny fuckin' loved you.
Oh, Stevie, why can't you be more
like that Boy George?
Well, cause he's a lying, thieving,
heroine-snorting bender, I tell her.
But she wouldn't hear a word of it.
She thought you were
as pure as the driven snow.
That was Jon's doing.
Are you two still together?
I think he wishes I was dead.
Well, this could be his lucky night.
What are these? Pornos?
I don't watch them. I just deliver them.
I'm George.
In case you've forgotten.
Everyone knows who you are.
Flattering.
Kirk's fat Irish faggot.
I'm just fucking with you.
How's things?
I'm in a band.
The Sex Gang Children.
You don't wanna get much air play
with a name like that.
Well, we might be looking for a drummer.
Is that right?
One, two, three, four.
Sorry, sorry!
Can we start again?
One, two, three, four.
Here we go, grub's up!
So, what sort of influences have you all got?
Punk!
Reggae.
Motown.
Soul.
Pop.
Fine, add a bit of skiffling
and you'll have the full house.
Any ketchup, Mrs D?
Were you in Adapt?
For a bit.
What's Captain Sensible like?
His feet smell.
So, what do you think?
Honestly?
I think Mikey's mom makes a
mean fish finger sandwich.
No, I'm serious.
Oh, you're serious, are you?
We're gonna be huge.
Not unless you replace your lead guitar.
We've only just found him.
There's more to this shit than wearing
the right frock.
You think I can't sing.
Did I say that?
Well, you never said I could.
God, you're a needy bastard, aren't you?
More than you'll ever know.
Your voice is OK.
There's a bit of soul there.
But when the words come out,
I sort of believe you mean them.
That's a compliment, isn't it?
It's as much as you're gonna get for now.
So, are we doing this or what?
Hello, John, lazy prick.
Don't panic, Mr Mannering.
Let's get on with this, shall we?
Are you seriously going to sing this?
The eyes of Medusa control and compel.
To love I surrender, I'm under his spell.
He loves me, he hates me.
He knows me too well.
Ok, shut up in your face.
It says "he".
"He" loves me, "he" hates me.
Medusa was a bird.
Yeah, with snaky hair.
Definitely not a geaser.
Not my Medusa.
Yeah, well, it's three against one, so
let's just rehearse it with "she", shall we?
Right, what have we got here?
A Jew, a Jamaican, a hairdresser and a poof.
Nothing can stop a line-up like that.
But if you want to write songs
that only appeal
to half a dozen people,
do it in your own time.
I thought we were aiming
a bit higher than that.
Yeah, well, we can't all pretend
to be something we're not.
I'm not asking you to pretend anything.
Just...
Don't elaborate on certain stuff.
Always leave them wanting more.
Walt Disney said that.
He did all right for himself, didn't he?
George!
Are you in there?
George!
What happened to you?
The bitch went for me.
She reckons I spend more time with you
than I do with her.
Give her a try, go stick her in the band
and then she can see you day and night.
She's jealous.
Of what?
Of you, you muppet!
She thinks I fancy you.
Don't make me look a prat.
You have no idea what you're doing.
But that's good. That's fine.
It's not exactly a Rolls Royce
in a swimming pool
but I guess it'll have to do!
I'm calling the police!
No, just go back inside!
He's a bloody head-case!
Are you gonna let your broads
talk to me like that?!
Emily, just go back inside!
George, shut the fuck up!
You're crushing my ribs.
Good!
No, I'm gonna vomit.
No, seriously.
What's that?
Twenty-six all.
I fucked you more than you fucked me.
Come here!
You're a head-case!
Walk away, you!
I'm going to prison, aren't I?
You're not going to prison.
I won't survive in a place like that.
No one's going to prison.
Didn't you watch the news?
I mean, Norman Talbot wants to
lock me up and throw away the key.
You shouldn't have fuckin' voted
for him then, should you?
What's his beef anyway?
You're a rock'n'roll stereotoad.
We've been exporting them for years.
What have I done that is so evil?
You got a little older.
A little less cute.
It's like Bowie.
Bowie?
You think he didn't go through this shit?
He killed Ziggy and he didn't know
where to go next.
Then he puts out Station to Station
and everyone thinks it's the end.
But what happens after that? He
finds his way to Berlin and records Low.
I love Low.
And that's where you are right now.
Somewhere between Station to
Station and Low. It's a transition.
It hurts.
It's gonna hurt for a little while longer.
What am I gonna do, John?
Get yourself well.
Then give them something else
to talk about.
I'll buy you some new fish.
Damn right you will.
I think I 've got diarea.
If you shit yourself, just carry on.
Is he gonna do this or what?
Of course, he's doing it.
Culture Club!
Last call!
Whatever it takes, get him out of that car.
Stand by studio!
And number one, it's Culture Club and
Do you really want to hurt me!