DIVINE INTERVENTION
What a fucked morning
What a pimp
What an asshole
Son of a bitch
Bald prick
Collaborator, husband of a whore
Fuck the sister
of your children's father
Fuck your mother's sister
Fuck your father's sister's cunt
Go and get fucked
and get paid for it
A Chronicle of Love and Pain
There is no bus
Tell me when you're through,
then I'll send a contractor
Come down so we can talk
What's wrong with you?
I just want to have a coffee
Wait! Let's talk!
Easy!
-Orli?
-I'm listening
Call a doctor,
the road-digger has chest pains
He's acting up again.
Don't pay any attention to him
I'm calling in a paediatrician
Watch now, he won't say a sentence
without the word "six" in it
I was just passing,
I thought I'd say hello
Hello
How's work?
Slow
It'll pick up, God willing
How are the guys?
Getting by
By the way, yesterday, around 6,
I had 66 Shekels on me
I saw a friend, we played a game
of cards, I got a full series
I won 666 Shekels and got out
What's a full series?
When you get 6666, four sixes
There is no bus
I know
Your car is blocking my garage.
Can you move it?
Which brand?
Seat
-White?
-Yes. White
-What type?
-I don't know, but it's brand new
Which year?
Brand new
What's the numberplate?
Come on guys, go for the valuables.
Get moving
Neighbour, why do you throw
your garbage into my yard?
Aren't you ashamed?
Yes, neighbour! But the garbage
I throw in your yard...
...is the garbage you throw
in our garden
So what? It's still shameful
After all, neighbours
should respect one another
Why didn't you raise the matter
with me first?
Isn't that why God gave us tongues?
I am crazy because I love you
Kineret to Shemtov... Send the
welding machine to Kiryat Motzkin
The car goes straight
to the auction. Got it?
Hit the motherfucker!
Move back!
Make a U-turn. Get out of here
It's closed. Do you hear me?
No arguments
Go on! Get out of here!
Get lost!
Get out of here!
Igal
What?
Go away!
(between Ramallah and Jerusalem)
Open the door
Show me your ID
Where are you going?
Everybody out
I said go
in front of the tree?
-Yes
-Stay where you are
-No problem
-Wait for instructions. Don't move
Got it
Father Falls Sick
Eject the tape
Put the car into neutral
Show me your papers
Go
I Am Crazy Because I Love You
I am crazy because I love you
Come and see this...
Where?
Over there!
What do you say?
Ronen!
Look at this
Check this out...
They're making an ass of us!
Are you crazy? Put it down
-Calling 24
-I'm listening
There's a balloon
trying to get through
Can we take it down?
Stand by for instructions
Milk and honey, we've reached
our man in the East. Over
No Arabic coffee this time
We gave him a new Mitsubishi
with all the options
-So everything is arranged?
-Now it is
I heard they came down this way
They got as far as here
They sprayed the house
with a machine gun...
But you got the new car anyway?
Yes, it's nice
It's a good car
It's all electric
Look
-The windows...
-They're automatic
It's got an alarm
Guys, have some Arabic coffee
Ronen!
Go on home.
I'll deal with them
Stop! Come here!
You there, stop!
Turn off your engines
Attention everyone...
Get your IDs out
Your IDs!
You, get out!
Come here...
Go away!
You get out. Come here!
Open your jacket!
Nice. Imported
Let's see some ID
Take the jacket off
Get lost!
Let's see what we have here...
Mohammed Abed Rabbo
Wanted man no. 4
What does wanted man no. 4 want?
He wants to get laid in Jerusalem?
Jerusalem reunited!
But it's Ramadan, no?
During Ramadan, there's no fucking
So you come to eat
in Jerusalem, Mohammed?
There's no food
in Ramallah, Mohammed?
Where's Mohammed?
Where did he go?
What are you doing?
Get out
Get in this car
You, come here!
Go on, get in there!
You! Out of there!
Don't be scared. Stand next to me
Stand straight!
Long live the people of Israel!
Sing, fucker!
Start your engines!
Get out of here!
Come Shoot If You're Ready
Load... arms!
Attention!
Aim!
Assume your positions!
Attention!
Aim!
Fire!
Father Dies
What do you expect? This neighbourhood
is the sister of a pimp
Yesterday,
I wanted to get my car out...
...and someone was blocking my way
We are a decent lot,
parking is a real problem
I got this kid and told him
"See if the driver is at your place"
I lit a cigarette and waited
Waited and waited and waited
No one came
I thought,
"He must be sipping an arak"
And then he shows up.
He sees me
He opens his trunk. He takes
a Hoover, a dustpan and brush...
...he starts cleaning his car
I said, "This is not good timing"
Let's see how far he goes
He cleaned his car front,
back and front again
He started to back out with the carpets,
his ass like it was in reverse
I got out
I waited till his head was level with
the door and banged it and banged it...
...till his head was as red
as a monkey's ass
"You want to clean your car?"
My brother heard the noise
"What's happening?"
"Nothing, he wants to clean his car"
The family came to help him out
My brother said, "Stay where you are"
He grabbed the guy and said, "Want
to clean your car, brother of a whore?"
He beat the shit out of him
and knocked him flat
Now the guy is in hospital,
his ribs are all broken
He wanted to clean his car,
the son of a whore!
That's enough. Stop it now
In memory of my father