== Yes ==
Subtitled By:
Nizar Ezzeddine
They say my cleaning
is the best they've ever known
but cleanliness
of course is an illusion
those of us who clean as a profession know
the deeper source of dirt is always there
You can't get rid of it
You cannot hide or put a lid on it
as long as human life is there
lt's us, the skin we shed
and then the hair...
l think of what l do as therapy for homes
you know l often see
the pain imprinted on a bed
you spot a stain that should not be in there
of course you know
at once what's going on
But then you go into another room, the one
he keeps his papers in, or so he says...
He sleeps in there
from time to time as well
What was l saying? Yes, it all relates
The evidence on things like dirty
plates, and socks and underwear
and other things l shouldn't mention
that he sometimes flings into
the toilet and thinks l won't see...
Ah, because he flushes, but
unfortunately he doesn't check its gone
it's down to me to try again
sometimes l fish it out...
lt's quicker in the end, it floats
l doubt they'll ever realize l know it all
They think that those of us who clean
are small somehow, in body and in mind
we fall our of their line of sight
invisible, we work our magic
lndivisible one from the other, we're
a mass, no soul, no rights to speak of
just a basic role to play
in keeping their lives looking good
Cosmetic artists, that is
what we should be called
Or dirt consultants
You waited until l am not there
How could you? ln our house?
- Oh don't
- Don't what?
- Don't make a scene don't make it worse
- l am not
Where, our bed?
The sofa? Or perhaps a chair?
That's fine
Forgive my question
but are you alright?
- l'm fine, thank you
- Are you sure?
Yes, quite
A woman left alone
if it was me... l wouldn't...
Wouldn't what?
Let such a beauty out of
my sight, not for a moment, no
A woman left alone, l wouldn't...
Wouldn't what?
Let such a beauty out of
my sight, not for a moment, no
And let me add
l'd like to steal you from the man
who cannot see that you're a queen
- When are you free?
- My God, you're fast
Oh no, quite slow
l don't believe this, l must say no definitely
lt's you
You knew
l guessed
That's good, l said l'd call
l thought you would
- You're over there
- Quite far away
You sound so near
and when are you...
- Returning? ln a day, or two
- l'd like to meet
Yes, where? You say...
Let's walk, somewhere, and eat
And talk
What's that?
- My cab, l'm getting out
- l cannot hear...
We'll have to shout
- l'll call again...
- Oh, good, yes, do
l'm glad l found you...
l understand that you've invited me
to make a case that life begins at three hours
or at one, or two, or maybe four
as if there is a moment when
we can be sure that we are human
You'll want evidence, material, not big ideas
nor common sense, but what is measurable
What you can see, and not once
but many times, repeatedly
For this is science
and that's what we do
But wait a minute, is this really true?
Could ''objectivity''
be just a point of view?
we interpret what we see, and can
see what we expect, in embryology
When a man first saw a sperm magnified
he thought he saw a little man inside
and those that looked were
sure that they could see one too
so eager were they
to agree, look at this, man?
Or mouse? The mystery is that
each cell knows its destiny...
Yes
Who?
Oh, Sister Maud
of course, hello
lt's been a while, it has
how time does go...
No, she's not here, of course
l'll tell her, yes l'm sure she meant to call
Oh, l would guess the weekend
but of course one never knows
Yes, always working
that's the way it goes
And how is her aunt? Oh
oh dear, how sad, is it serious?
Oh dear... that does sound bad
Oh quite, of course
l'll speak to her tonight
Except when she
gets back he will be out
That's how they organize their lives
l doubt if they will see each other for a week
They leave each other
notes but rarely speak
Hello!
- Where are you from?
- l am lrish
- From Belfast
- But you sound...
l know, l know, American
They took me there
when l was ten, and you?
l am from Beirut
My land is made of stones
but we have trees that blossom
in the spring and then release their fruit
We have cherries, plums
and peaches and the queen of all
the tree that reaches for the sun to fill its
seed with gold, the yellow fruit, the apricot
the old and wisest say
this fruit will keep them young
And you can taste
her secret with your tongue
Potato is our apricot, we bake
we boil, we mash, we fry
and then we make a flour of it for dumplings
in our stew or bread or scones or pancakes
the famine haunts us still, you see
We too are haunted
by our dead, it seems
They speak to us
in riddles in our dreams
so many killed, they
ask the question, why?
Did we have to die?
Look, shall we think of something sad?
This conversation's far too light
That's bad, yes
absolutely, you are right
My auntie in Belfast once
said to me survivors can't forget
the memory is all that's left
we cannot let it go
lf it is lost, then who will ever know?
She brought me up, l loved her so
My parents went away when l was two
They said they'd fetch me in a month
but then a month became a year...
my father flew back
home from time to time
l never knew when l would go
do you believe in God?
She didn't, so l had to pray
at school, then go back home
and say l thought that reason was the
way the light, and that God was dead
This was a Catholic school
they fed us catechism
fear of hell, and fear
of punishment as well
They hit us hard to do us good and told us
that we never would survive without our faith
My aunt said they were hypocrites
you can't imagine how it was
to be alone with such a split
but to atone for sinful doubt l searched
for truth, with all the passion of my youth
You found it?
Science
So you think that you can
penetrate the mind of God
l do... not know... if God has a mind
or if there is a God, l don't believe...
Such golden hair, we can agree...
To disagree? How true, l'm talking
far too much, now what of you?
We'd rather sing than speak
it leaves us free to mourn, or to rejoice
Ultimately there always is a choice
Ah, so, you see... we're not
so different, really, you and me
Speak to me
Of what? What is there to say?
Too much, or nothing
please try, anyway
Well, l adore the number one
one you, one me, one moon, one sun
Must l revolve around you then? Am l
the silver planet circling round the gold?
Are you the source of light and heat, whilst
l am shadow, pulling watery tides, and cold?
You hear a meaning where
there's none, l fear... l spoke of one
A number, an idea, my preference
for the single state, that's all
Single is a word based on illusion
life itself develops from a fusion
Two is joining, letting go
attraction and rejection, yes and no
lt's not a solo but a sweet duet
that's played to bring us here
and the forget how it was
before we met the other
lt was two that brought us to the mother
and desire that led us to the lover
You're right, but now
l'd like to speak of three
Admit, there's you and him
and now there's me
Oh God, let's hide inside the number four
a house with walls
and with a door that closes on gas
we've gone too far, l forgot, the thought
that precedes one, the thought that's not
the void, the vast
and endless state of none
containing, holding, god-like
it's the one and only number
that we really need
naught is the majesty that rules
our lives, unseen, and silently
Nice, but a bit too mystical for me
someone invented zero
so that we could count and measure
the unthinkably large unwieldy numbers
And it was then, by multiplying to the power
of ten, that we began to measure space
and so to time...
- You tricked me!
- No!
Yes you did, of course
You start with one, then give yourself
the source of all the numbers
No, lovely lady, all l meant
to say was this, you are the one
The light of day, the velvet night
the single rose, the hand l want to hold
the secret country, land of all
my longings, there, you have my word
l used to lay the blondes
who came my way
And they were ready for it, night or day
l'd look at them, l wouldn't say a word
and they were on their backs
as if they'd heard a heavenly command
and then they'd cry, at first
with pleasure, like they'd never had
And then they'd phone you up
and drive you mad
The weeping and the wailing
and the rest, they'd ruin it
At first they were the best, those babes
but now at last l've seen the light
Temptation's there
to teach us how to fight
the devil comes in every shape and size
those that resist him get the prize
The prize is Jesus, thank the Lord above
he is the maximum top source of love
Now hold it there, some lasses may be tarts
but they're not evil, they've got broken hearts
They do it 'cause it's all they know
they're used for sex when they are kiddies
They're abused from start to finish
then they're on the streets
and taking drugs instead of eating sweets
they haven't got a chance
Back home l'd walk around and
chat with them, sometimes, just talk...
You'd what? Just talk?
You're not that fucking good
You'd fucking do it if you fucking could
You know fuck all about my fucking life
l know you're fucking
skint, so did your wife
You fucking leave that
out of fucking this
l'm only joking, can't l take the piss?
The difference is l never had to pay
Yes, so you fucking always fucking say
no fucking woman's free of charge
No way, you fancy one
but there's no fucking lay
unless you buy the drinks all fucking night
lt's not the drinks, you have
to treat them right, they want respect
- Respect?
- And dignity
Oh, Jesus Christ
l've seen the fucking light
You fucking shag them
then chuck them away
and now you've got the fucking cheek
to say that you respect them
and they're fucking white
and fucking blonde
Oh, come on now, big boy
you'll pull a girlie soon, don't start a fight
l saw a woman once, upon a bus
She was a foreigner, not one of us
she sat alone, this tourist from the west
her trembling bosom in a skin-tight vest
The men were staring at her from behind
the same scenario in every mind
- There was a television...
- On the bus?
With fucking videos and all, like us?
Don't interrupt
what happened next? Poor lass...
Each fucking Arab got a piece of ass
An image came up on the shaking screen
A porno movie!
Fucking gang-bang scene!
Shut up!
He's right, the image was obscene
but not the way you think
lt was a girl, a young one, fair and fresh
a lovely pearl with long fair hair that blew
around her head like golden candy floss
as she shot dead one man
after another with her gun
We stared, and sweated, as the blazing sun
beat down upon the bus, but didn't care...
She wore a costume
that was hardly there
a little piece of fabric round her hips
and covering her breasts
and on her lips some glossy red
and every time she killed
a man, her lips would open
Yes, she spilled their blood
with pleasure, and she wore a flag
the cloth that covered her
was not a rag, it was a symbol
Stars and stripes, l swear
this was a blonde American
they share their women's bodies
with the world, you see
lt's true, they have no shame or modesty
Come on now, lads
it's not all black and white
They may be wrong
but you're not in the right
Where he comes from
the lasses wear the veil
They've got no life
it's like they're in a jain
Too fucking right!
Some wear those things like beaks
They look like fucking crows
give me the creeps
Aye... they're oppressed
But what about the vest?
That one up front
all trembling and the rest?
She was a foreigner, therefore a guest
and we were hosts, therefore we were polite
That's all that happened?
What a load of shite
Hi gorgeous
l am feeling fat, what do you think?
Oh darling girl, you're
lovely and you're more...
You will have a stream
of lovers who will adore you
Not just for your eyes and
glossy hair and for you slender body
Don't despair, you are
not fat, but even if you were
You'd still be beautiful
You see! You think l'm huge! l knew it!
l did not interfere that you
were over-large in any way
What your god-mother
is trying to say is this
Grace, there is so much more
to you than your reflection
So much, more to do than
stand and stare, obsessed with...
You are not fat! Don't waste
another breath of yours on that!
But don't you worry about
you? The lines and stuff?
Pursuit of beauty is the rule
They say you mustn't
let it go without a struggle
l will be there with color covering every
hair that's grey and cutting straight away
lf there's a wrinkle, wait and see
l'll do it when l'm twenty-three
- How's school?
- Okay
- What interests you most?
- You mean: What's fun?
l know you like to boast that
you are a party girl without a brain
l don't believe you grace, now try again
lf you insist
l suppose there's something
l quite like to think about
l find l lie in bed and then
l start to drift and dream
Things are not really as they seem
That's true enough, look closer and
we see that everything is really chemistry
The world is made of sulfur and of tin
of phosphorous and lead and nitrogen
Of mercury, zinc and hydrogen
Of gold and silver and uranium
Of carbon and iron and palladium
Of carbon, potassium, titanium
So Grace, what do
you really want to be?
Famous
l was a doctor with a knife
l cut the flesh to save the life
A surgeon, yes, my father too
but l came here what could l do?
l use my knife to cut the food, l do it
well, l'm very good at cutting meat
l chop, l dice the ham which l don't eat
l slice it wafer-thin
so delicate, like lady's lace
lt's very nice to look at
silky to the touch
l like my work, yes very much
But surely, don't you feel
you're wasting what you were?
The task you trained for?
Why did you choose to leave a country
that could use your talents properly?
No reason, why should l jump in plane
and grieving, fly half way around the world?
Perhaps yes! l forgot! l was a surgeon
now the plot has changed
the story been revised...
The hero's been reduced, down-sized
a lower kind of man, a cook!
The kind of man you would not
look at, is that what you want to say?
Not good enough for you today?
One night l saved
a man from certain death
l operate when he took a breath
l knew that he was safe and l felt good
l had done my job with
skill the way l should
l turned to go, but standing in the
door, were three men that l knew
but l was sure, they
had not come to talk
For it was late
They carried guns
and in their eyes was hate
they told me l was wasting
precious skill and time on someone
that might later
kill a child of theirs, or mine
Before my eyes they shot him dead
They said: you can't disguise
one of ''them'' as a patient
from now on you treat our
people only, do you hear?
l packed my bags
at once, and l was gone
They'd killed a man and murdered an idea
that doctors answer to a human need
without a thought of color, or of creed
and then had the effrontery to claim
that they had done it in my people's name
- lt's something that you wouldn't understand
- Oh but l do, you're not the only ones
l feel your story in my blood and bones
l see a father, calling to his son, l see
the houses crumble, dust and stones
l hear the gunfire, and the
knock at night upon the door
l see the women's fright, l hear
the adolescent called to fight
l see him march away in morning light and
not look back, he knows his mother weeps
She fears that she will lose
another son, she's buried two already
Listen to her litany as the
tears glisten on her cheeks
And to the bell that's
ringing calling her to church
to join the singing
and to praise the Lord
Yes l know of so called holy war
you do not have to go
so very far from here to find it
- You're looking good
- Well, thank you Kate... am l?
l think l see a sparkle in your eye
But as for me... l'm
tired, my limbs are sore
My feet are aching, oh
l'm such a bore l'm sorry
l've just been at home and you have
gone half-way around the world
How you can climb out of your bed at dawn
when you've had 3 or 4 hours sleep at most
But then you see, that's the
difference between you and me
- l simply do not have your energy
- What nonsense, you're amazing
- You have far more stamina than me
- What was the conference about?
They want an easy ethical way out
so that the public doesn't have
to feel we're killing living things
- But are you?
- Kate!
l'm sorry, but you know l really
hate to think of those poor little...
- They're y cells that's all they are
- Sorry!
- Do they feel pain?
- Why must l justify my work again?
- How are the children?
- Fine
The little ones as usual are divine
but of course the giantess is trouble
She stays upstairs in the heap of rubble
she calls her room and never talks to me
l hear you took her out
the other day, how was it?
Lovely, for me, anyway
Oh yes? But then...
she so looks up to you...
She thinks l'm dull, sometimes
l wish that l could get away like you
just take off on some sunny day
one airport's like another
l used to dream to travel... now l pack and
unpack suits and shoes, that's all they see
The haircut and the
clothes, even with me
- l envy you...
- Envy... oh? Why?
Because you're free to wear
your ancient tracksuits all the time
and t-shirts covered
in your baby's slime
Well thanks, that lovely portrait really
gives a feeling for the life a mother lives
A less important job, the one job l do
Thank God our mothers did it, though
you would not be here at all, nor would l
Why is it that we always end this way?
Competing for who suffers most?
Perhaps you did it right: a single mum
so-called 'open marriage' has become...
We just can't talk... so many lies...
Well, l guess that that's
what happens when love dies
Kate, you know us both, you're his friend
too, l am really longing to say too much
- What has he said to you?
- Oh, nothing, really
Oh lovely goddess, whore
and tramp you are my love
You light the lamp that guides me
through the velvet night towards you
Hold me, hold me tight
Your voice, your paleness, your
perfume, your presence haunts me
ln my room l wait
for you, filled with desire
Your hungry look ignites my fire
Oh lady, what then can l do
but burn? l am in flames for you
Before l knew you
now l know l was not living
This is so much more
than anything l've felt
My love: you hold me and l melt
l am not solid anymore
l am a feeling
Call me whore, l'll ask for more!
The names you give me
names l never would forgive
lf spoken to me in the street... somehow
from you, my love... they're sweet
What can l give you, lady luck?
What other words and names?
l'll fuck you as a mistress, as a queen
l'll worship you with words obscene and
ugly, all the more to show how l adore you
Bring you low with
language from the gutter
Hear me now, l'll gently
mutter things into your ear
flowing streams of words from fantasies
and dreams you've not confessed to anyone
Yes please! Yes, say it all!
Let forbidden thoughts be heard
let the hidden parts be seen
The only danger is that all the lonely private
places you have been to might dissolve
And you will be seen to blossom
singing, dancing, humming
Laughing... come here love
You're coming
Grace come in
ls she here?
Not now but come on in
and wait, Grace, anyhow
Do make yourself
at home, come sit by me
Something to drink?
Perhaps you'd like some tea?
No thanks
- How's school?
- Fine
Not too much to say
l see, well, Grace, you don't give
much away you're very wise!
l do my best
But you don't have to do
a thing you just have to be
The rest comes later
when you're old, like me
l'm not that young
and you are not that old
You're sweet
Grace... may l confide in you?
Your godmother and l...
she thinks l'm... cold
but it's her... you see
l have feelings too
- He said you're cold
- Who?
Your husband
- Oh God, and what the hell was he...
- l came to see you, you were out
And then he told me all
about his secret feelings
Oh, l see
That must have been... exactly when?
He held my hand as well
Oh Jesus Christ, and then?
l need to talk at the end of my day
She feels l've compromised
or lost my way, so she won't listen
She will never learn what changing
things, in practice, has to be
She's like a student, her mentality
is as it was when we first met
all dreams, and talk and grand ideas
and lofty schemes about society and truth
l tried to do something to right the
wrongs l somehow, am now the enemy
Whilst she does science and
retains integrity or so she thinks
She always has to feel
that she's the underdog
the one who's real
while l am false, somehow
And l am English too of course, while
she is lrish through and through
The fact is that she left
when she was ten!
She grew up in America, but then
it suits her to forget that on the whole
She claims her roots and so can
play the role of the oppressed
Right, so tell me why she never
seems to find the time to fly back home
to see one of the very
last true communists
Her auntie in Belfast?
To say those things to her
he has abused us both
She doesn't need to know how
we have organized our marriage
And then he said things about...
She so looks up to me!
l could kill him l could hoot him dead
our god-daughter!
l can't believe he said...
Have you ever seen
a body full of bullets?
- As a matter of fact...
- You people...?
- Who?
- Are so naive
What?
The stupid things that you believe, you think
there is no pain that cannot be forgotten
And no chain that fetters
you that cannot be undone
You're ''free'', but must defend that
with a gun, a tank, a helicopter or a bomb
So no-one thinks that
way where you come from?
Why suddenly accuse me in this way?
l have a different point
of view on life and death
But is that true?
You are a scientist and from the west
you think you know it all, that you're the best
One life of yours worth
more than all the rest
Hello? ls it me that you are talking to?
What do you know about my point of view?
And, come to that, about the work l do?
You do not seem to work much, anyway...
l work at night, but you... here in the day...
Jesus! What's going on?
What did l say?
- lt seems that you know nothing of my life
- l know that you are married, you're a wife
A woman with a lover, in the day
perhaps another one at night? Or two?
l don't have lovers
there is only you
Oh shit, man, l was saved
from as worse than sin
My life as ugly, l ate out of bins
You know l sank that low, l had no pride
The dirt on me... and in my
mouth... l lied with every breath
l didn't have a friend left in the world...
they gave up in the end lt was hopeless
And it was all because
l turned away from Jesus
lt was hell, but then he found me
and he made me well again
Oh praise the Lord, the mighty one
who gave this undeserving world his son
You think it's you that
fucking turned away?
He saw your fucking face
and thought: no way!
Don't mock the man
But look, l can't believe any father that
would go and leave his son in such a mess
Why didn't he come sooner?
- None of it makes sense to me
- Too right it don't, you've got to fucking think
l'm God, you're dirt, l wash you
in the sink of holy fucking water
Well, what for?
For one less sinner banging at the door
of heaven when it's all too fucking late?
- The Lord is merciful
- l fucking hate this crap
There ain't no God, it's fucking shite
and if there is, he's full of fucking spite
- lt's you that's negative
- Don't pick on me!
- l'm not, but every cunt's your enemy
- Too fucking right!
lf Jesus chose that fuck instead
of me, now who's got all the luck?
His heart is big enough for you as well
if you repent your sins you're saved from hell
He will forgive the things
you've said today
Just go down on your
knees and start to pray
Fuck off! You fucking wanker!
There's no way! That wasn't
what l fucking meant to say
- What did you mean?
- You picking on me too?
- l only asked
- What do you fucking do?
Go down the fucking mosque?
Dark fucking horse
lnfidel!
Oh, oh what? Of fucking course!
You're a fanatic, one of them
Be careful, lady
- Why, are you afraid?
- Don't be ridiculous
- The lamb has strayed
- What fucking lamb?
The lamb of God's in hell
- He was in Paradise, and now he fell
- l've had it with this fucking God and shit
There ain't no paradise
this fucking crap is it
This country's full
of wankers dressed in sheets
asylum fucking seekers in our streets
And taking all our
fucking jobs, Arab wanks!
- Easy, easy
- No then what do they do?
To give us thanks what the
do they fucking blow us up!
- You've got it wrong
- That fucking jihad war, it won't be long
The war is fought inside the soul of man
He struggles, doing everything
he can to overcome his base desires
The part of him that's
animal and has no heart
The self that's primitive and has
no mind, that's why there is a law
lslamic law's not kind but it is fair
A bomb's not fucking fair, you
Arab shites are evil, you don't care
To you we're all the same
from over there, you're ignorant
- Now don't you fucking dare
- You celebrate your ignorance with joy
You should be studying, you're
just a boy and living on the street
So fucking what? You fucking
foreigners have stole the lot
There ain't no fucking houses left for us
you dirty mother-fucking load of pus
- Come off it, son, he didn't mean
- Boy, answer me, are your hands clean?
l'm not an Arab if that's what you mean
- Then you may touch...
- This fuck's too fucking much!
lnsult my people, you're insulting me
l may have my doubts
but now when l see an animal like you
l'd rather be of any faith than be of none
Go on then lady, give it to him, son
ls that what you need there?
Out
- l need to see you
- Look l can't, not now
- Then later?
- No
- Tomorrow, anyhow?
- l cannot say
- You cannot say, why not?
- Some problems
Well, me too... have you forgot?
Look, it's... we need to talk, let's go away
A small hotel a night or two l will pay
Sorry
- How are you?
- Fine
That's it?
Don't nag
l'm sorry, l don't follow
you, could you repeat?
Or is it that l ought to learn
somehow to read your mind?
l am sure that if l try l'll find a way...
l'm going out
Sometimes you are a bitch
The bitch and nag: a lovely pair
yes, do go out and get some air
Why won't you fight? Why won't you
shout? Then we could argue our way out
Look, as it happens
l am proud of my control
You say out loud the
first thing that occurs to you
l don't behave like you
and l am glad of that
l try to do my best for us, don't sigh...
Am l too much? Am l too much real?
Perhaps with me you have to feel
Feel what? The loss of all
our dreams? The end of us?
Some empty schemes to fill the void?
Re-decorate the house perhaps, or
celebrate my birthday or some other date...
Our anniversary! Let's wake up
somewhere else, let's take a break
Lie on a beach and feel
the ache of emptiness
You're bored, you read a book
And then we go and feed ourselves...
at some expensive place you hate
And so you pull a face
at me as if the fault were mine
You think it's good to feel l've failed?
You think it's good to feel
l've jailed you somehow in a boring, cold
hell of a place where we grow old together
wishing that we weren't?
l've learned that not to feel at all is best
There was a time when love was
there, there must have been
yes it was you who once said
conversation was an aphrodisiac...
because it flowed
Like nectar, or like juice
Oh, fuck it, fuck it, what's the use
- How is your Aunt?
- l don't know
- You didn't call?
- Not yet
- You are so...
- So what?
Neglectful, don't you care?
Of course l do! Oh don't you dare
accuse me, fuck of course l care
l care too much, l love my aunt, l'll call right
now, oh fuck, it's far too late, but, anyhow...
How could you say
those things to Grace?
- What's going on?
- l can't go on like this
Like what? What did
l say? What did l miss?
l need you, l need
your body, need it so...
What's wrong?
And don't ring off again, don't go
- This is impossible
- What is? Tell me!
Look in your heart and you will surely
see that l have... acted... with sincerity
But now the time has
come to say... good-bye
What? To say what?
You can't... but... why?
My body's been in your possession now
l'm asking for it back, it once was mine
But, everything l said was true
However shipped you
yes, you have been... divine
l'm hearing something strange
behind your honeyed words
l feel a doubt so strong
it's poisoning my mind...
This bitter question must come out
Asking's way beneath me, brother, for
you said there was no other one for you
l was your secret country
And the land of all my longings
So... who is she?
No female body tempts me
please believe me when l say that
l'd never leave you for another woman
Who could be the scarlet
goddess you have been for me?
Ah but l never asked for this
but l never asked for this
To be blinded groping for a kiss
to be blinded groping for a kiss
l am on fire
l want to hit and attack
l want to stab you in the back and
make you feel the power of vengeance
Sweet-talking man with your...
your... hypocrite romance
A hypocrite? l am not the lying kind
What can l do to purify your mind?
l need to wash you, yes, from head to toe
- What did you say?
- How can you doubt me so?
Wash me? Do you see some dirt?
Can you not see how your words hurt?
- Divinity...
- Don't call me that, it isn't me
Through long afternoons
l've felt your lovely arms about me
Tasted you and known the charms
of flesh on flesh, of skin of lovely skin
But when your blood is calling
it's a sin to turn away from them
Now wait, blood?
Sin? What's happening?
l have remembered who l am
The old and wisest men explain that
all the love a woman gives distracts us
We are told that riches wait for those who
rise above temptation to obey a higher call
you're asking me
to turn away to fall from grace
You cannot look me in the face
and say that l fall from grace
Do you really think l am unclean?
A second-hand cunt, a fucking machine?
A dirty distraction
somehow obscene?
l am not only your goddess or queen
l'm a twenty-first century any damn thing
that l choose, including your teacher or king!
l named you goddess
and queen, l crowned you
Fuck you!
- Who do you think you are?
- l draw a line: you're not a king!
That role is mine!
Oh sir, excuse me, l forgot
you are a son and l am not
l am a daughter so inferior
lt's you, your people feel superior
you want to rule you want to spoil
You want our land, you want our oil
You call that civilize?
Your country is a dragon breathing flames
land of corporate fantasies, brand names
Big Mac, Big burger, yes big everything
And you blonde American are
too thin, too fit, not womanly
And then: your skin too pale, insipid
And your eyes, too blue, why
do you make me dream of you?
So we are at war
- You terrorist
- lmperialist
- Bigot!
- Bitch!
How did it come to this?
You are confusing me with them
Look, l am not just an
American, l am lrish too
So what? You all have
roots somewhere
But have forgot that you
are anything but powerful
The big Boss
You hear our children screams but
feel no lust because they are not yours
That is not fair
The things that they have
done have not been in my name
l do not feel pride
l feel a deepening shame
Look, l am an individual, l am me
Me this, me that
- Each one of that is we, we are not alone
- l know, look l agree, l am not your enemy?
How did this start?
From Elvis to Eminem
Warhol's art, l know your stories
Know your songs by heart
but do you know mine? No
Every time, l make the effort
and l learn to rhyme in your English
And do you know a word
of my language, even one?
Have you heard that 'al-gebra'
was an Arabic man?
You have read the Bible
have you read the Koran?
ls this the reason you're rejecting me?
Rejection? No, l don't reject
but, yes, l do demand respect
You say you want me, but as what?
Your exotic, something other?
Your, toy-boy, pet, your secret lover?
You buy me with
a credit card in restaurants
You want me hard so you can melt
Why can't you see that being wanted
not for me, nor for my noble
ancestry, but for my flesh
Erodes my dignity
Your pride is hurt, you
feeling small and wounded
But can l walk tall when people spit
into my face because they fear me?
Where's my place of pride
and honor in this game
where even to pronounce
my name is an impossibility?
l hear you, tell me more
ln your land l am not seen
l am un-manned
You can't imagine with the
white-skinned sense of privilege
and human rights you take for granted
How l fight for every little thing
Oh no
Oh no, oh no
Bye, l have to go
l didn't call, l didn't call
l didn't call
You're late again
don't worry, never mind
l know you're busy
it's the kind of life you lead
But then, you chose it
so l guess you want it
Always to and fro, you
never stop, unlike myself
l'm here to stay, for just
how long, who knows
l fear it could be ages, it creeps
up on you this funny business
First a creak or two, your knees perhaps
and, bingo! Then you're old and in a bed
The thing is, no-one told
me l'd have all this time
but far too late to use it
for the things l dreamed of
Oh auntie
Fate Delivers upside
down and back to front
l've more to say than ever, but they shunt
me back and forth all day from bed to chair
and back to bed again, it isn't fair
All this experience l'd like to share
not that it all adds up, not that you care
l'd better stop, it's time for you to go already
isn't it? Five minutes, oh, well maybe ten...
you see, l never know when
you'll be here again, it's such a blow
Each time you leave, it's hardly
worth your while to come at all, l mean it
Don't you smile like that
oh you'll be sorry when l'm dead
l'm only joking, dear, l only said that
for a laugh, although, of course it's true
The questions that you never asked...
yes, you will certainly regret a thing or two
No one explained to me when l was
young why time only goes forward
Hold your tongue was what they said when
l asked them about the universe and such
And why we can't do all that much
about it when we make a mess of things
lf only a mistake could be corrected
wind life back and start again...
The second time we'd know the
art of living, but we only get one go
No dress rehearsals, this one is
the show and we don't know it...
l don't see the rhyme or reason
in this so-called grand design...
But then l don't believe, there is no sign
of him up there as far as l'm concerned
See... if there's one thing that l've
truly learned it's this: it's down to me
And you, of course
Each one of us is it, we are the source
of all the bad... and of the good things too
Well, out with it, what's happening with you?
At last you've got some color in your cheeks
l haven't seen you
look this way in weeks
Or maybe months
it even could be years
Don't tell me... you're in
love, aren't you my dear?
Not with that English
chap, what a mistake!
l knew it from the start
lt only takes another one to come along
and then your heart tells you that
frankly speaking, men are not all equal
Some are better, love
lt's just another trick from that one up above
if He exists, which He, or She, does not
Unless l didn't notice, or forgot
but l've a perfect memory...
l lie here running through the lot, l think
l'll die with all that information tucked away
l'd trade in all of it for
just one day, in Cuba
- Auntie? What did you say?
- You heard me, Cuba
l'd love to see the place, the people
the reality of how it all turned out
And Castro... Castro gave us hope he did
oh yes, he's better than the Pope...
l'd love to shake his hand
- You should go soon
- Yes
l tell you, we'll be living on the moon
before we have another go like that
A great big dream that's fallen pretty flat
in all the other countries where they tried
they'll regret it
Communism died, but
what came in it's place?
A load of greed, a life spent
longing for things you don't need
lf and when l die
l want to see you cry
l want to see you tear your hair
your howls of anguish fill the air
l want to see you beat your breast
and rent your clothes and all the rest
And, sobbing, fall upon my bed
l want to know that l am dead
l want to know l'm part of you and that
you cannot bear me being torn away
l want to see you dressed in black
with red-rimmed eyes from
sleepless nights of grieving
l want to hear you protest at me leaving
l want to see you in each
other's arms, and wailing
See you kick a chair
and punch the wall
and see you, moaning, fall
upon the ground and scream
l want to know this isn't just a dream
l want my death to be just like my life
l want the mess, the
struggle, and the strife
l want to fight and
see you fight for me
l want to hear your last regrets, the
things you wish you'd done and said
ln fact l'd like that
just before l'm dead
Don't let them put you off
or make you go, or say it's bad
For me, or makes it hard for
me to leave... it won't be true
l want to see you grieve
Don't let me drown
in silence all pious and polite...
Let's make a lot of noise!
A different kind of light will fill the room
l want my death to wake
you up and clean you out
And as l end l'll hear you shout
- No, no
- But l will go
No, please don't die
Life is so short and precious, let's
not waste what we've been given
Look, we have not faced the truth
Even the rages we express perhaps
contain the seeds of happiness
- Let's go... let's go to Cuba
- What?
Far away
From everyone, we've never spent a day
and night together, only an hour or two
Let's take the time
for just me and you...
- l'm in Beirut
- You are?
l have a friend we trained
and worked together
ln the end he stayed
he's married, now he has a son
There's only one life, this is it
Let's seize the time, l'll send
a ticket to you... l'll go on ahead...
- lt's many years...
- Since you have been there?
My auntie died, she
died, my aunt is dead
You'll have a lot to say, a lot
to share, l'll send the ticket anyway
Dirt doesn't go, it just
gets moved around
Some things get burnt
or buried in the ground
But fire makes smoke
and soot and greasy grime
And buried stuff
crops up after a time...
lt travels slowly, one could say it creeps
lt's all the water underneath, it seeps
God gave us eyes that do not
see too much or we'd go mad
We'd never want to touch
a bed again, a sofa or a chair
lf we could see the
things that live in there
There's millions of them
loads of things with legs
They fornicate and then
they lay their eggs...
They think our dirt is lovely, they
survive by eating what we shed
They are alive because
bits of us are dead
Now, smaller than the mites are germs
Well, we do what we can, we scrub
and scrub but they fly when we sneeze
on drops of moisture
packed out with disease
then all we have to do is take a breath
and they're inside us
fighting to the death
lt's not just germs, it seems
they're not the worst
There's viruses, some say they were the first
things to exist, and 'cause they are so small
They can't be cleaned
away, no, not at all
Not ever, that's why, really, in the end
there's no such thing as spotless...
You just send the dirt to
somewhere else, push it around
The work is endless
that is what l've found
Maybe this earth is just a ball of fluff
Some great big cleaner
out there said: enough
And that is how we all survived, why not?
We're just the parasites that God forgot
The point is this, we never disappear
despite it being what we all most fear
We're certainly not
finished when we die
However hard the undertakers try
every single creature feeds another
Everyone is everybody's mother...
or, at the very least, a kind of host
When we expire perhaps we
change, at most, but never vanish
No, we leave a stain
a fingerprint, some mess
Perhaps some pain, some fear
or doubt in someone else's heart
Mum?
We leave a mess
in fact, when we depart
God if you exist...
l need to confess
Please speak to me, just once
don't make me guess your point of view
for l might get it wrong...
l know l have strayed so far
l don't belong in any church of yours
l sang the song of science
yes, l sang it every day
But, l could argue, that is how l pray
For twenty years, God, can it be?
l've cut, dissected, carefully and with
respect each living cell a source of wonder
Yes l tried to see
to penetrate your mystery
The point is, God, you never lie
but you have secrets so have l
Now all l was has
turned to ash and doubt
Others tasted me and
even stabbed me up
First is blossom, then there is decay
lmpermanence will never go away
ln fact it is the only certainty
There come a time when
l used to be but not quite yet
Oh God
Can you forgive me for not...
for not... believing in you?
- Seniora?
- Si?
Senior
When you look closer
nothing goes away
lt changes, see, like night
becomes the day and day the night
but even that's not true:
lt's really all about your point of view
Depending where you're
standing on the earth...
ln the end, it simply isn't worth
Your while to try and
clean your life away
You can't, for, everything
you do or say is there forever
lt leaves evidence
ln fact it's really only common sense
there's no such thing as nothing, not at all
lt may be really very
very small but it's still there
ln fact l think l'd guess that 'no'
does not exist, there's only 'yes'
Subtitled By:
Nizar Ezzeddine
== Yes ==