1
[panting]
(Ryan) Holy Fuck.
So like a car must have crashed
into that semi or something,
a bunch of cars.
(Kyle) I wonder if maybe
something hit that first.
(Jesse) Is there two semis?
(Kyle) I Don't know.
(Jesse) You see the one on
fire there to the left there
is a big something...
(Kyle) I can't even
see through the smoke.
(Ryan) You gotta look inside
the thing and see if it
says record or not. R-E-C.
(Jeff) Oh Okay.
(Ryan) Yeah, it's going on?
- Yeah.
- Alright cool.
We were just zooming up the
highway and like I saw this like
fucking black billowing smoke
like coming out and we didn't
know what was happening, we
thought like there was a house
burning down or something...
(Jesse) I get panic attacks, I
get panic attacks just driving
down the road because I'm all
of a sudden back in Alabama,
it's always-
[snaps fingers]
I'm there,
it's fast, and it's so scary
because that guy
hit us from behind.
And it wasn't anything I was
doing, I was just driving good
and normal down the road, right?
I didn't make any mistakes.
That guy smashed us from behind
and forever changed everything.
I think we had
something special.
I don't think that that beauty
that we could create, that art,
would just have ended.
Holy fuck you guys,
look what we did...
and then look what we did.
We were young and mean to each
other and we just were so
focused on the art at all costs.
And it cost us a lot in the end.
[electric guitar]
(Ryan) Hey man how's
it going, it's Ryan.
(Piet) Hey Ryan,
good, how are you?
Good good, can
you hear me all right?
I can hear
you just fine.
Ok, I'm going to see if
I can make you louder here.
OK.
I'm here with Stu, who is
rejoining the band for the tour.
Oh, that's nice, yeah.
Thanks for hopping
on I appreciate it.
(Ryan) What are
the notes on the...
What's it like being back
together after all that time?
Um, It feels like no
time has passed and a lot of
time has passed.
I remember the idea coming
up a number of years ago.
And I don't think we
specifically thought like
a ten-year anniversary was the
way to go, we were just talking
about getting together and
doing some shows. Cause we never
really did like a last show with
Jesse or anything like that.
(Jesse)
I have only sang two days.
I sang the very first day and
made my voice sound like this.
So I took two days off,
and I sang yesterday,
and this is the result again.
So I'll take today
off, and tomorrow.
(Stu) I'm really enjoying it, I
think everybody else is too, and
you know, we wrote these songs
ten years ago, and we've all
been active musicians over the
last decade, so I kind of think
if anything we are playing the
songs better than we would have
ten years ago.
(Ryan) Yeah, it's nice too
cause Jesse has something about
him as a singer that's very
honest and passionate and
I don't know if I realized
how much I missed that,
but I definitely did.
(Piet) awesome so, what
happened with, why did Jesse
leave and then why
did you leave Stu?
Um, I mean, there was a
lot of differences about how we
thought the band should happen
and kind of what direction we
wanted to go and he and I rubbed
each other the wrong way a
little bit on some of our
personal stuff and it was
definitely a situation where we
weren't going to really be able
to continue working together.
But, um, yeah yeah we...
I guess that's probably all
I need to say about that.
(Jesse) Things in the past that
might have been bumps in the
road, things that might have
caused disagreements and
arguments, everybody is just
kinder and older and wiser and
knows how to deal with these
situations a lot better now.
It had to eventually
happen, if we were more mature
we probably would have done a
little bit more and made it last
a little longer, which is one
of the reasons it's good we're
doing this tour, to revisit the
record as probably the era ended
a little prematurely.
Anything unresolved about that
doesn't really apply to these
shows you know it's not about
the split, it's about the album,
and about trying to celebrate
the time when the five of us
were a band.
It's a good band, man.
There's no disputing,
they're such a good band.
(Piet) So this is a temporary
thing I take it then
or like what?
(Stu) Yeah it's
just for ten shows.
Just for the ten shows?
So after this Stu you go back to
your other stuff, and Jesse goes
back and Karl's back in and...
- Yep.
- Yep.
(Ryan) No people ask
me that question every day
that I do an interview.
But it seems like it's
never really been publicized,
or has it? Cause I thought
the whole thing was like
he just left to be a teacher?
(Ryan) I've talked openly about
it here and there, pretty much
what I said like he had
different ideas about...
he's just real stubborn about
the way he wants things to be
handled, and that turned into
being us fighting about every
single decision, so-
Do you think that will
bother him though to see that
sort of stuff publicized?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Like I said we're both at a
pretty good point with it.
I don't think I threw him under
the bus with that really.
Because I don't think it's more
his fault than mine, I just
think it's more a problem that
he had with everyone in the band
than I did, cause you know my
problem was just with him so,
it's like I shouldn't
leave the band you know?
I don't know.
(Ryan) Hey I just wanted to
say sorry for not doing the
interview thing today.
You seemed a touch bummed or
something so I just wanted to
make sure you knew
where I was coming from.
This whole thing is super
hard on this guy's heart.
I've had a lot of fun this
week but there have been a ton
of mixed emotions throughout.
You guys really hurt
me in the past and I
likely hurt y'all as well.
I'm just not the same person as
I was back then so whole trip
has been pretty crazy.
An interview could bring
up old garbage that
I'm trying to get over.
I think you're a great dude,
an amazing dad, and one of the
greatest guitar players ever.
However, you are also someone
who nearly destroyed me.
Doing an interview might
bring up junk I don't need
to focus on. This whole thing
is insane for me and I just
want you to know that I'm
trying my best and trying to
keep everything on the up
and up. Nothin' but love.
(Jesse) The way that the band
ended, you know, it was bad.
And it hurt me alot.
And sort of when we started
talking about this you know
there was times when I was
really excited about doing it
and then there was other
times when I was just like,
I can't do this.
I can't revisit those emotions.
I can't revisit the past
I've kind of gotten over it.
And to come back in the mix
and be with the guys and stuff-
I knew it would be this mixed
bag of emotions, you know?
And Jesse's not even coming
in the van, he's going
in his own car. It's just
him and his girlfriend.
(Jesse) I'm definitely
a man of comfort.
You know my obsessive compulsive
really does control, I guess,
how I live my day-to-day
life a lot of the time.
So all of a sudden, being so
OCD and phobic of things to go
back into a van...
Shit there's gonna be
nine people in that van.
You know, my girlfriend
is gonna come along.
(Ryan) He's got a pretty good
hold on like, the fact that he
knows he's a little bit insane
with some of these phobias,
and he's pretty apologetic
about it and he's like "Oh I'm
sorry you guys have to put up
with me and my crazy old ways".
And when he made us move
rehearsal spaces, he was pretty
graceful about it I guess.
(Kyle) The ceiling in the space
is covered with plastic but you
can still see through
and see the insulation.
There is nothing falling from
the ceiling, it's sealed, but
just the fact that Jesse could
see the insulation with his
eyes, he never came back
to that jam space again.
And we ultimately practiced the
next three days without him.
(Adam) You guys want to
run through one more thing on
stage or are you guys good?
Well I didn't know fiberglass,
that's kind of a new phobia
I think. We didn't really
know that was a big thing
because it used
to be duct tape.
- Adhesives.
- Adhesives, yeah.
(Stu) Like, I understand why
he didn't want to be in there,
whatever, but it seriously just
roots back to touring with him
back in the day because I didn't
want to like bend over and agree
with him just because it was
something he wanted his way
you know? So like, just
on principle I was like
"fuck that, we're not moving
jam spaces, we have to hold our
ground on this sort of thing".
It might be a good thing
that I'm in here, not just
for myself, for the guys, maybe
it makes it a little bit easier
on me maybe it makes it a
little easier on everybody else.
(Ryan) Dude,
classic moment just now.
This dude just came up to
me and introduced himself to
me twice. And the first time
he's like "oh what's up man?
How's it going? I'm John,
whatever, I came here,
whatever," and then he's like...
and I went out in the van and
kinda like changed my shirt and
came back in and he's just like
"Yo! You're in
Misery Signals, right?
You got a twin brother,
I just met him over there."
At first, early on I
would have been like "Oh, no,
that's Branden, that's my
brother, I can't accept that"
but that conversation goes
nowhere, and like they feel
awkward and now I'm just like
"Yeah, fuck yeah, thank you."
(From Stage) Make some
noise for Youth Decay!
Nihilate!
And the reason why
we are all fucking here:
Misery Signals!
[cheering]
[music starts]
This time.....
It was our summer.
It was something, no
one could take from us!
Sometimes that
night, seems so close
Like I, could hold it
You said alright,
we'll be fine.
But how
could we have known?
Do you remember?
Roll down the window
let in night air.
I always thought
we'd be together
You said we've
never gone this way before
(Branden) Dude, so insane and
so awesome but like poor Ryan is
over here in the corner
shit's getting stepped on and
everything is getting unplugged.
Alright we gotta pause here
for two seconds because you
guys are fucking out of
control, and it's awesome,
but everybody's gotta take like
two steps back and you guys
gotta step down and like
everything is getting unplugged.
And I'm gonna put all my shit
back together and then we're
gonna play the next song.
Hold on.
(Jesse) I thought this show
would be really good but I
didn't anticipate this.
(Branden) That's probably the
most technical difficulties he's
ever had, but that might
have been one of the best
Misery Signals
shows we've ever played.
(Ryan) I'm also informed that
there's some sprinklers up here
you've gotta watch
out for otherwise they'll
get everything wet.
That might be a bad scene.
(Jesse) Once again,
thank you guys so so much.
Keep enjoying yourselves.
Just please watch
old Ry's pedals here.
(Ryan) Tonight's gonna be nuts,
it's like the venue is maybe a
little bit too small but it will
be one of those shows where
maybe that's a good thing.
(Kyle) The venue is
a lot of bit too small
Yeah.
I think we could have
filled a four or five hundred
cap room in Calgary.
That's the tricky balance
man, it's a lot less fun
if half the room's half empty
cause you can feel that
difference, and for this tour
particularly I think that's
what we wanted to go for
is like a smaller room kind of
feel cause those were like...
if we're gonna do a throwback
to those times we were
playing a lot smaller places,
smaller than this even.
(Interviewer) So as veterans,
what advice would you give
to people who are in the
early stages starting out?
The band has been
operating for ten, twelve years
now, when we sort of broke the
band and got signed and that
sort of thing we were just
touring and doing shows and it
wasn't quite as internet and
social networking
based as it seems to be.
(Jesse) What's up guys
we're Misery Signals.
(Ryan) Now, it's like, cover
a popular song and make a
cool YouTube video and
get some viral going online,
I don't really know cause
I didn't do it that way.
For us it was just get
out there and play as much
as you can and I don't think
that's gonna hurt you I still
think that's a good idea.
If you're watching
this we're already dead.
Melted away to nothingness.
We're in the desert, it sucks.
What does that sign say?
Tucson, 246 miles.
246 miles to Tucson Arizona.
So Tucson is less
than half way there.
(Stu) I can remember one year,
maybe it was 2004 or 2005 that
we were on tour for
11 months of that year.
Three days off here, a week
here, you know a few days,
but like it
was just go go go go go.
We were just focused
on that and nothing else.
There wasn't really
anything else going on in
my life that mattered.
We were just really caught up
in making this thing special.
(Camera Person) Say
something for me Jesse.
Hello.
How are you tonight?
I'm okay. Tired.
You think you want to play
in a band for your life but
all of a sudden you're on the
road for 120 days at a time,
never going home. My mother
had a son, my little brother,
he's now thirteen years old
but in those first years of
Misery Signals
he was a little boy.
And he didn't have a dad, and so
I always had this really strong
sense of obligation
to be a dad to Liam.
How do you balance touring ten,
eleven months of the year with
trying to be this father
figure to this boy?
Alright so we just arrived
in Arkansas. At the show.
When I was nineteen
through twenty one I was really
really close with my parents,
and same with like friends when
I lived in Edmonton from when
I started touring with
Misery Signals my friend
circle in Edmonton is pretty
much down to one person now.
You know the only person that
I really talk to that lives in
Edmonton is Brandon,
our merch guy.
Maybe it just seems commonplace
cause through working
with Misery Signals I've
made so many friends that
do tour, so it seems pretty
normal, but when you really
think about it it's kind of not.
(Ryan) Watch out for my urine.
(Jesse) Huh?
(Ryan) Watch out for my urine.
There's a cup full
of it by your feet.
(Ball) Five to ten people pile
into a van where you have to put
your gear and where you have to
sleep and where it smells awful
and you drive a thousand miles
to play a show in front of
twenty people, but you don't
care cause you're playing music
you love to people that
also hopefully love it.
You don't know where you're
gonna sleep that night maybe,
but you're probably gonna end
up on like some weirdo's floor
breathing in asbestos
or something.
But it doesn't matter.
Cause you're there with
your friends. And you're there
doing what you love, and
you're experiencing something.
My foot is ruined.
Let's go to the hospital.
Here's the normal foot.
Normal foot, fat foot.
Nothing starts out great.
You have to be willing to go
through some shit and put up
with less than ideal conditions
and if you have a lot of love
for something it's not going
to matter how shitty those
conditions are.
(Stu) How'd we do
in merch buddy?
(B Best) Not that good.
Horribly?
Maybe like 160 bucks.
Most of these bands
don't make a shit
ton of money doing it.
It's just kind of like all they
know at this point, right?
They started doing it when they
were young so they just keep at
at cause what else
are they gonna do?
In the lean years these guys
didn't even have a trailer, we
were touring with a van with one
of those tiny cargo things on
the top of it, and all and the
merch and personal luggage was
crammed up in there and like
amps and drums and everything
were just crammed
under the back.
So our van stopped working
a little while ago and
we're gonna get it
fixed or, hopefully... but we're
sitting in San Diego, probably
missing the show. Awesome.
(Ball) It's a different world.
You're moving so much.
You play one city one night and
then you move to the next city.
You don't leave any
time for anything.
You're with this traveling
group of people and it's like
your own separate universe.
You know you guys create your
own memories together but you
don't have enough time to create
relationships necessarily with
the people that live in
the city you're playing.
(Stu) When you spend that much
time with your band, those
become like your family.
Those guys for almost eight
years were like my family, the
dudes that you see every day
I feel it's partly love of
the music and partly these
guys are getting to an age
where it's like really what
else do they do?
A lot of them didn't go to
school, I was kind of lucky in
the sense I guess that before
I started touring I went to
college so I had something to
fall back on when I decided
to quit. But a lot of
these guys don't, right?
So this is what they keep doing.
(Camera Person) You
guys seen Jesse Yet?
(Kyle) Nope
- No he's not here yet.
- Should be here soon.
Did he drive here separately?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
He's doing the tour
separately, in his own car.
- What?
- Yeah.
(Kyle) They drove out to the
wedding from Saskatchewan and
they're driving back at least
to that point, and then maybe
hopping in the van or
possibly just driving a car
on the whole tour.
It's yet to be determined.
Hopefully he
doesn't miss any shows.
Is it pretty
packed in there?
Uh, a bunch of people are
hanging out out front, it'll
be pretty packed when we play.
Doesn't seem that crowded
but it'll probably be nuts.
How could I
justify this
I can make anything alright
But what do you know
about sacrifice
You are no lamb
Any man a creep
Any man deserving
Any man
A victim,
a target
[cheering]
(Kyle) Do you know the
plate number on that guy?
I have no fucking
clue what it is.
Got a text this morning, our
van and trailer were towed.
405 right?
(Ry) Yep.
[knocks on door]
(Adam) Two blocks down and it
says it's good from nine to
eleven, and then on the right
next to it it says "no parking
Monday through Wednesday"
and then next to it says from
seven to eight and we didn't
see that. I already called them
they said they have it,
it's 200 for the impoundment.
(Kyle) Sick.
(Ryan) Okay straight back,
straight back.
This way a little.
Keep coming, you're
on track, keep coming.
Slow, slow, little more,
this much more, Stop!
We're okay.
It'll pop in.
That sucks cause that was
actually in there that time.
The last time it happened
I don't think we had
it on there correctly.
Well, what else
could go wrong boys?
(GPS) Turn left onto
15 Avenue south east.
Then turn left onto
Macleod trail south east.
(Ryan) We disagreed on a lot
of things back in the day.
The specifics escape me right
now which leads me to believe
they maybe weren't as
important as we thought
they were at the time.
Being in a band is
like a marriage you know?
You all have to work together
and decide on things together
and do everything together and
it always sort of seemed like
the four of us against him.
(Jesse) I was just sick
of losing every vote.
Whether it was as simple as
where we are going to go eat
tonight or where we're
gonna sleep tonight.
Those guys at that point
were so like party...
it's funny, straightedge guys,
but party mode, like "we're
gonna stay at these girls' house
tonight " " we're gonna eat at
this vegan restaurant today".
I just got sick of
losing everything.
We would often refer to
Kyle and Ryan as "The Bosses",
cause they would deal with the
money and the promoters and...
(Jesse) I think Ryan was
the leader in that band.
I think his brother would
always just basically do
whatever Ry said back then.
And Ryan and Kyle were
childhood friends.
I was this outsider.
(Stu) There's these
expectations that he would have
for other people but
sort of not for himself.
In a sense of like,
he would want...
he would expect the band
to have their strings changed
for every 2nd show, but then
then he would cut a set short,
at four songs because
he's tired. But then he would
justify that with "Oh I don't
want to do a bad performance"
(Ryan) He would often say that
he wanted to leave the band or
he thought that he's not
coming back after this tour.
And he would say that
over the course of a
number of different tours.
"Oh I'm gonna quit the
band if this doesn't happen"
I think he was saying
that he quit cause he wanted
someone to talk him back into
staying but it was just too hard
on us to have all these tensions
and then on top of that have him
being like "Well I'm just gonna
quit, well I'm just gonna quit".
And eventually one of the
times that he said that I put
my foot down and said
"Okay, don't come back."
(Jesse) Milwaukee.
That's the guy's hometown.
You know, we spent
a lot of time there.
The last time we played there,
with Madball, I was on a
payphone outside and these
kids came up and they banged
on the phone booth.
So I get off the phone and I
came out and they said well we
heard that Shawn Page is taking
your spot in Misery Signals.
He's trying out next
week, after the tour.
And I was just so taken aback,
like, "What, what do you mean?"
Awaken and destroy
these dreams
We'd been fighting lots,
but, no from my understanding
I'm gonna be the
singer in Misery Signals.
And I didn't say anything to
Ryan, I played that show.
But from that point
on it was crumbling.
It was obvious that they
were seeking to replace me.
(Ryan) We did have other
options in mind or other
scenarios at least
in our subconscious.
I don't think we had acted on
them until he left the band but,
the end was in sight with
Jesse before he left.
(Jesse) We should have
just talked about things.
We should have just all aired
our grievances and hopefully
worked through things but
instead I just went back to my
bunk I was like "Screw you guys
you bastards" kind of thing.
I just stayed in my
own little place.
(Jesse) The last time I was
here, was one of the last shows
I ever played with
Misery Signals.
We played in the smaller
room with Madball.
It's a little bit
different than this.
So thank you so much for making
this so special tonight.
[applause]
Thanks for making this
old guy feel cool.
(Jesse) And then we head south,
the next show in my head that
I remember is Dallas Texas,
that was the
last show we played.
(Ryan) Stage left
check check check. Hey!
(Sound Man) Hang
on just a second.
Let's get that vocal again.
Whoa-oooo.
1 - 2 - 3 hey.
Played here a couple of
times early on with the band.
Hey check, that's good.
Oh dude, it's
exactly the same.
It's kind of smaller than I
remember, but this is exactly
how it was set up. But this
was the last place that we
played with Jesse on his
original run in the band.
So weird.
So the room where we're actually
playing tonight is where me and
Ryan went and talked after we
played here and kinda got in an
argument and that
was kind of the end.
I don't remember what
tensions were what exactly cause
there was no singular event that
ended Jesse's stay in the band
it was building tension for a
number of months if not years so
I don't think anything
specifically awful happened when
we were in Dallas the last time
but it came to a head between
the night that we played
here and the next show.
Everyone in the band was in
agreement with me from my
understanding, but I was the one
that was kinda just had had it
enough that I needed to talk
about it right then and there.
(Kyle) We had had
this talk before.
And we knew if we didn't stand
our ground and go through with
what we wanted to do that it
would just go back to how it was
and it would never happen.
We got to the show, we had
set up our gear on stage and
we were opening the show.
And I'm saying to the guys "What
is the point of loading in?
He is not going to do this show
after you guys tell him this
isn't gonna be a thing anymore."
They just basically
said in the van that day
'We're done. We're gonna get
you a flight home. Tonight."
And I started crying and
basically begging them
"No no no. We need to talk this
out. We need to talk this out."
It was one of the most fucking
awkward things of my life.
They told him, obviously he's
not gonna go through with the
show, so we had to go back in,
take all the gear off stage.
I was actually filling in as
tour manager at the time so I
had to like kind of explain to
the tour manager of Madball
"Look, this is what's going on.
We're dropping off the tour
cause this might not
be a band anymore."
Even though I'm sure he
could sense unhappiness in the
camp he never saw it coming.
Like he never even thought that
it would actually
come down to that.
You know, it hit
him pretty hard.
(Ryan) I think we tried to
settle it where we were gonna
finish out the tour, there was
like 4 or 5 days left but once
it kinda dawned on Jesse that he
wasn't gonna come back for real,
he didn't want to
do those shows.
So we had to book him a flight
home but we couldn't get
anything affordable right then
and there out of Oklahoma City.
So we drove to St Louis,
a number of hours away,
all just sitting in the van.
It was kinda similar to
when you break up with someone
and you're just kinda talking
through it with them.
"Why are you doing this?
Why are you guys
doing this to me?
I really want to do the
next record with you guys.
I want to finish the tour.
I want to still be in the band."
Jesse kept trying to
get me to stop so he could get
some alcohol and that was weird
too, cause he never drank, I
never really know him to drink.
(Kyle) After having something
taken away from you, to spend
the next six hours with the
people that took it from you,
I can't imagine the shit that
was going through his head.
Had to be pretty
difficult to endure.
Jesse I think took it
probably the hardest from Stu,
because Jesse you know he knew
Stu growing up through the
Edmonton scene and those bands,
and he was kinda the one that
got Stu into the band.
So you know to have Stu siding
with the other guys when it was
time for him to leave, I think
that really affected their
friendship and there was a lot
of tension in that drive just
between the two of them.
Maybe more so than anyone else.
(Stu) There was this
expectation of loyalty that
I was supposed to have to
him. Like, if he was getting
kicked out of the band that I
should go with him. Fuck that.
You created a toxic environment
that nobody wanted you to be
involved in the band
anymore, it's not my fault.
They drove me to the airport,
and I remember them getting
out of the van and
waiting in line to hug me,
all four of them.
I just got out of the van
and walked into the airport.
And I didn't see them again
for about three years.
I think I was maybe the only
one that got out to say bye to
him. I just gave him a hug and
got back in the van and fuckin
huddled myself up under this
blanket and just started crying
cause I was just...
more than anything I think
I was just upset for him,
to see that something he had
built and created to cope with
his loss, he was just
kind of being ripped from.
(Ryan) It was a meeting of
frustrations and stubbornness
from both sides.
We were young and eager
to continue on and we wanted to
have a happy environment while
we were touring, we were doing
it so much at that point, so
we just pulled the trigger.
There was no working
through it at that point.
They didn't want to hear it.
And I can't...
I don't know if I can
blame them, you know?
It hurt, you know,
it still hurts.
It hurts that those three guys
that I created this band with-
would go behind my
back and do that.
It hurt even more that
Stuart would be party to it
and not say anything to me.
He wrote me
some fucking emails.
Some very very very aggressive
threatening emails. Like...
"If you come back to
Canada you're gonna get your
ass kicked"
or whatever or
"I'm gonna send
guys out to hurt you".
So we were...
you know he's friends
with some serious dudes.
I think I can speak for
everyone else in the band
when I say we were
legitimately afraid
that something was
gonna happen to us.
We were really bad
to each other at times.
The focus was always art,
art, art at all costs.
And we created fantastic art,
but it nearly destroyed me.
It put me in the worst
spot I was ever in.
I come home.
Girlfriend was gone.
Misery Signals was gone.
All of a sudden everybody that I
had aligned myself with in life
for four or five years was gone.
They were all gone.
(Karl) Let's start
this thing off right.
We are Misery Signals
from Wisconsin.
Let's have some fun.
(Jesse) I think
it hurt them too.
We were on such a
climb at that point.
Misery Signals was doing
so, so well, right?
And it was like every tour
was better, better, better...
and then they kick me out,
and it took them a while I
think, four or five years later,
where maybe they were
firing on all cylinders again.
(Ryan) It's hard. It's a speed-bump
for sure to change singers.
Our second record was
somewhat of a sophomore slump.
But I don't know, it might
have just been the same if
Jesse was in the band too.
I think for me it was
important to try and prove
that we could still do it.
Jesse had left and that record
was starting to be celebrated
and it's like, well, I'm gonna
be stubborn and I want to make
something that's as good,
and I don't need him.
Jesse is a very
passionate person and he had
some traumatic things
happen in his life.
And Misery Signals
was his outlet.
Personally I don't think
that he ever took the time to
deal with the accident.
He's got this fucking huge
weight on his shoulders that I
don't think he ever
really spoke about.
Or even digested and
dealt with, you know?
He helped make
this band what it is.
And I think a lot of that is
evident in this anniversary tour
because I haven't seen
Misery Signals shows this
crazy in years.
And when you see Jesse on
stage he really feels
every word that he's yelling.
And don't get me wrong, fans
relate to Karl too and the band
is still obviously successful,
but who knows what could have
been if he would have, you know,
not been ousted from the band.
(Stu) In "Summary and Stinging
Rain" at Braden's place,
that's all I remember.
(Kyle) Yeah, we've
spent a lot of time here.
It's where we did a good portion
of the writing for "Malice".
(Jesse) This is for surely
where I first heard
"Worlds and Dreams"
was downstairs.
"End riff to Five Years" too.
The very final.
Morgan said "C'mere!
C'mere! C'mere!"
and I went downstairs and
he said "Check this out."
(Stu) Yeah "Victim" was here for
sure, I remember my guitar amp
was under the steps, and it was
so bass-y, so every time we
played the intro it was
like "this is sick!"
cause it was so big sounding.
(Ryan) I remember Jesse... we
would be down here and Jesse's
on his desk right at the top
of the stairs writing lyrics...
(Branden) Yeah for sure.
(Stu) That's the basement here?
I don't remember the insulation
like that, it's weird.
(Carol) It's still exposed,
it drives Jesse crazy.
Jesse won't go down there.
No.
(Ryan) Is that Stars?
(Carol) No this is
Dinnwoody Lounge.
You guys were still 7 Angels.
It wasn't even Misery Signals.
It was 7 Angels 7 Plagues
featuring Jesse Zaraska.
Featuring Jesse Zaraska.
Yeah it was featuring.
(Ryan) Damn we were fucking
fully traveling with a car-top
carrier and no trailer.
(Carol) Do you guys remember
if this was a release party?
(Kyle) Yeah I believe
it would have been.
(Carol) It was at Megatunes on
Whyte avenue and it might have
been the release of "Malice"
The first Misery Signals
show in Edmonton, if I can
remember this correctly.
So, this is fuckin insane
actually, this story is amazing.
We used to cross into
Canada to play and not have any
of the proper documentation
or work permits.
So we would always have like
back stories, like split up and
go separate ways.
When we left for that
tour Ryan had a record so he
couldn't get across the border.
(Ryan) I went to get
an ID as my brother.
So I went to the DMV
and had his passport like
"Oh I lost my driver's license,
I need to get a new one."
And so it was going
to be a picture of me.
Even though we look
exactly the same.
I don't know why I was trying
to go this far cause it's
super brutally criminal thing
to do. Got all the paperwork
filled out and was
sitting in the waiting area.
And there was like 7 other
people there and they called
them up, each one, and got their
pictures taken and sent them
off, and I was the
last one sitting there.
And I started freaking out
because it was taking longer to
do mine and I was like "Oh shit,
the cops are just gonna come in
here and take me away".
And then eventually they call
me up after what seemed like 3
hours, you know it was probably
10 minutes, but they called me
up and they just handed me the
driver's license like 'Oh we
just have your file picture,
it's less than 6 months old so
it's just the same picture".
(Stu) So myself, Branden
and Kyle drove in my car.
Jesse and Ryan took the van.
And Ryan got out and
got on a Greyhound.
Somewhere in like
Montana or something.
So Branden Morgan was
crossing in a van over here
and Branden Morgan was
crossing in a bus over here
in different provinces.
It was fine cause wasn't the
border crossing like some little
shack or something, and this
dude was just like "Alright."
The theory was that once
Ryan was through, the real
Branden Morgan was with us,
so there was no disputing it.
So we're like on payphones.
Like get across the border and
we're like "Yeah we did it,
we're through" and then we find
out that Jesse, because he was
Canadian and he was trying to
bring an American vehicle into
the country, they impounded the
vehicle and like held
him at the border.
You got stuck at the border,
they impounded the van and
then we had to use...
(Jesse) They taped
me to a chair.
No they handcuffed
me to a duct-taped chair.
And left me sitting
there for about an hour.
So we picked you up just walking
down the highway too, right?
So they impounded it.
They held him for a while
at the border. And then
they just said "Okay you can go"
and they sent him walking.
Like he just walked into Canada
from the border and we had to
drive like... we were getting
so close to Edmonton too,
I was psyched,
like we were almost home.
And we had to like detour
and go pick him up.
On like the side of the highway.
He just called and he's like
"I'll be walking
down this highway".
We're like "Okay man like we're
just gonna head towards you."
We were like hours away,
like driving down this highway
until we found him.
It was probably the most
stressful thing about the band
at that time was trying
to cross the border.
With members being
Canadian and American it was
just this constant thing of back
and forth, back and forth right?
We would literally pull apart
guitar cabs, take the back
panel off and stuff as many
shirts and hoodies into it as we
could and then screw
the back back on.
Like the cabs weighed like
80 pounds. It was so obvious.
Which is so ridiculous
cause if you had a guy, a border
guard who has any small
knowledge of musical equipment,
the minute that he would move
that cab he would be like
"This is full of drugs".
[laughter]
100 percent.
Stop.
You can just straighten
out a tiny little bit.
This is my hometown show.
This is the club where I first
went and saw punk rock bands
when I was 13, 14, 15 years old.
Starlite Room was sort of the
bigger club, you know it was
sort of where I hoped
we would one day get to.
Misery Signals really had good
shows here back in the day and
it's a special place.
(Adam) We're gonna
actually strike the guitars.
(man) 2 2 1 2. Check.
(Stu) When Misery Signals
started and Jesse being from the
city and going to the States and
joining this band it was a big
deal within the scene.
Especially when
"Malice" came out.
I feel like we were more of a
local band to Edmonton than we
were to Milwaukee you know?
(Jesse) It was really special
for people here, this small
Canadian city to say "Holy...
Stu Ross and Jesse are doing
something' you know. They're
having success playing in this
fairly big American band."
(Stu) You know, we were just
like this champion of the
fuckin' scene for a minute.
A couple of guys from our home
town have joined this American
band and they're like touring.
And that's why I think this
show, especially tonight, it's
gonna be like ten years ago.
(B Best) We're getting
pretty close to sold out.
Look at the bins.
Even thought it was a small
Canadian city, we always
had such great shows here.
I think Misery Signals and
Compromise and 7 Angels, those
bands have been very
important to this scene.
It was a special place for us
and I think we were a special
band for a lot of
the people here.
Even though
I watched us fall,
fall away.
With determination
we all carry on,
and with determination
we all must live on.
We've all learned
things from those days,
I know that
we all have grown,
even I now feel a calm
like I have never known.
like I have never known.
(Jesse) Thank you
so much Edmonton!
It's absolutely
wonderful to be home.
(Jesse) When Compromise
started there was no scene.
There was a heavy metal scene
here, there was a punk rock
scene, there was no
such thing as hardcore.
(B Best) In our community,
they were pretty fresh.
Like there wasn't really anyone
else that sounded like them.
Like they were kinda the
first ones to do that sort
of thing in our scene.
(Stu) It was a big deal that
they were taking steps and
trying to tour and like get
down to the States and they
wanted to like be a
full time touring band.
(B Best) It was a big send off
when they were going to move to
Toronto when they went on that
tour with 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
That too was just like crazy,
cause all of us really looked up
to 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
So for them to be doing this
tour with them was just nuts.
(Jesse) Many moons ago, some
of these fellas took part in
writing what is one
of my favorite records...
Check 2, hey hello what's new?
...it's called Jhazmyne's
Lullaby by 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
(B Best) Jhazmyne's Lullaby
was such a huge deal.
(Jesse) I remember always
listening to that record so so
much every day, that's all that
was in the van. Anytime we went
and played shows in Calgary,
anytime we went anywhere.
(Junior) Is this 7 Angels?
(B Best) Dan would call home
from the road and we would just
be asking him questions
about the band and stuff.
We were just so psyched on it
like for them to be touring
with was just amazing.
(Temo) We're 7 Angels
7 Plagues from Milwaukee.
(Kyle) It was awesome meeting
those guys and getting to know
them a little bit.
(Ryan) Nine times out of ten
you don't really care about the
local bands or the bands that
open for you, but we liked
Compromise and
thought they were cool,
and I watched them
a number of times.
(Jesse) Thank you guys.
[applause]
We came a long way
to be here tonight.
We're from Edmonton,
Alberta, Canada.
(Jesse) We were getting paid
nothing, you know it was like,
young Canadian band, we got
these odd... it wasn't like some
amazing west coast or east coast
tour, it was like midwest and
into Alabama and stuff like this
and it was a long way for us to
go for shows where we were not
basically getting paid, maybe I
don't even know I can't even
remember we probably got paid a
hundred bucks a show or
something like that.
But Jordan was just like 'I got
us on these 7 Angels 7 Plagues
shows' and he was so so
happy to get on that tour.
(Braden) They had done a couple
tours out to the east coast and
a few times in the States but I
had never played music in the
States before myself,
that was great.
We were just starting out so
everything was still fresh and
innocent we hit the road, we
had a tour, it was big, we were
young kids that just couldn't
imagine doing anything more fun.
(Jesse) Slow down slow down.
(Braden) The plan was to do
about four weeks and then we
were gonna come to Toronto and
just try to make more waves
out on the east coast.
We were really looking forward
to those shows with 7 Angels.
The whole trip hinged upon
getting across the border.
(Junior) Border crossings were
always a really serious deal for
Jordo and Jesse but I remember
we got across and everything
was cool. We went into the gas
station and Jordo just walked up
to me and punched me in the back
and just started laughing.
And I remember just-
- just the sheer joy in
his face and in the punch
it was just like it wasn't...
he was so happy that
he was going to get to...
7 Angels was Jordan's Metallica,
the gods of gods to him.
(Braden) It's funny now
thinking how much of a pedestal
we put those guys on and
looked up to them now that
we're all just buds.
But it would be like playing
with Bruce Springsteen or
something, I mean, they were our
heroes and they were nice people
that were really genuine and
welcoming and were nice to us
and they lived up to
everything that we thought.
(Kyle) We met those guys
initially in Warsaw, Indiana.
My old band the Pressure Point,
we were all on tour together.
But that show ended up
getting shut down before we got
a chance to play. So then
we moved it down the road.
And it was cool cause like
this hall show and it got
shut down and then it
moved to this barn.
And then they just set up in a
fucking barn and there was like
a giant tractor behind them
and they were just rippin' in
front of this tractor.
There is a line in
"The Year Summer Ended in June"
about that night in Detroit.
And that was kind of like when
we said goodbye to Compromise
cause they were planning to
move out east after that tour.
Knowing now what happened and
everything, those goodbyes were
so emotional at the time it was
super overwhelming as it was.
We were just saying goodbye for
a few months, like they were
gonna be coming back through
town in September, and this
would have been June.
[sigh]
This might sound far-fetched but
I can like still even feel the
hug that I had with Jordan.
(Daniel) We are at some sort
of gas station right now and we
noticed something a
little weird about it.
(Kyle) Compromise continued
on with us and played a
few more shows. They
were super nice kids and
we were stoked to be on tour
with them at that point.
(Junior) They took a
liking to Jordo and they took
a liking to the band.
We just bonded.
There was this camaraderie
that was starting to develop
and we'd only been with those
guys six days or something.
(Girl) Right here.
(Kyle) I remember the last
date that we played with them
was in Birmingham, Alabama.
(Jesse) Thank you,
we're Compromise.
(Jesse) It was so good, we were
accepted by this band that we
looked up to so much, and went
out and had this wonderful
dinner with them and
everything was going very well.
Everything was going so so well.
We didn't even have a show
in Savannah, we were just all
talking and they were
like "Let's go tonight,
we'll get you on the show,
don't worry about it."
"Just come with us and we'll
put you guys on the rest of the
shows, and if they say you guys
can't play then we won't play"
It was the most validating
experience, they were going to
bat for us even though they'd
only known us for a few days.
(Kyle) The plan was for
them to caravan with us.
We drove a few hours with them
and eventually they fell behind.
(Ryan) Arriving in Savannah,
we were at this house where the
show was supposed to be and
Compromise still hadn't shown up
and it started to
become a concern.
(Stu) Compromise was carrying
so much shit with them cause
they were moving.
And they just had this fucking
shitty van that they had like
ram-packed with all their gear,
all their personal belongings,
all this shit just ram jammed
into like one fuckin' van.
So it was super heavy
and shitty as it was.
And our van just couldn't keep
up, they had brand new vans,
you know like those ones
and we had an old school van.
We just couldn't keep
up and then it...
and then stuff happened.
(Braden) We were always worried
our van was gonna die so we
drove slower than everybody else
and they got in front of us.
And at that point I think we
were all sleeping except for
Jesse who was driving.
I remember we all filled
up with gas and that was...
I mean that's the last memory
I personally have up until
like a month or two later.
(Newscast) It's been a
difficult day for fans of
Edmonton's hardcore music
scene and the families of two
up-and-coming musicians
killed in a highway crash.
Trevadore Shanko has the
latest on that tragedy.
(Voiceover) This is Compromise
performing recently on stage.
The Edmonton band's tour came
to a crashing halt Thursday
on the road in Alabama.
(Claire) I fought with them so
much cause they were leaving for
six months and I didn't want
them to leave and, you know,
six months would have been a
lot better than forever.
Claire Wyrostock's close
friend is 19-year-old
Jordan Wodehouse.
He gave her these pictures of
himself shortly before he and
the other four members of
Compromise headed out on tour.
Early thursday morning outside
of Heflin Alabama, the band's
van was struck from behind by a
Nissan Pathfinder. The van lost
control and hit a tree throwing
everyone from the vehicle.
Wodehouse and 20-year-old
Daniel Langois were killed.
19-year-old bassist Braden
Sustrik remains in intensive
care with a punctured lung
and fractured vertebrae.
23-year-old singer Jesse Zaraska
received cuts and bruises.
And 20-year-old drummer Ryan
Kittlitz broke his left wrist
and right leg.
(Carol) Yeah here we are.
This is after the accident,
and this would be Braden
in the hospital, Jesse who
stayed with them while
they recovered in Alabama.
This is I guess a
picture where it happened.
I never went down the
because I couldn't stomach it.
I get this phone call from the
officials down in Alabama saying
that there had been an accident
and that there had been some
fatalities and they
couldn't tell me who.
I think instinctively I knew
that Jesse was okay, but knowing
those boys as well as I knew
all those boys it was sick no
matter how. They got rear ended
by a drunk driver who pushed
them into this grove of trees
somehow and snapped the van
pretty much in half.
(Stu) Junior went out the front
window, Braden went out the
front window, Jesse went out the
windshield and somehow cause
he's like fucking Iron Man,
didn't have like a fuckin,
I think he broke a rib or
something you know like...
and so he went back to the van
and he just like ran around
and found everybody.
(Braden) First he found Junior,
he was awake so he picked him up
and went to look for
everyone else. But Junior
had broken his leg and
didn't know it so as soon as he
went to walk he just fell over
in pain and he was screaming.
"Jesse hang out with me"
and Jesse said
"Man I gotta find
everyone else first".
So then he looked and he saw
me next and I was laying down
and I was breathing
but I wasn't conscious.
He said it seemed like I was
alright so he left me be for a
bit and went looking and he
said at that point he saw a
semi-truck had pulled over on
the side of the highway and the
driver had got out and was
walking towards him so he
ran over. And the guy said
"I radioed for an ambulance,
they're on their way.
And I think your friend is up
there on the road and
I think he's been run over."
Jesse was just like "What
the fuck are you doing then?
Coward, what the fuck
is wrong with you?"
and had to run down the
road and pick Dan up.
I guess like we found out
later that he'd fallen out
the back window of
the van when we got hit,
or like the back door opened
and he fell out and then he
got run over by
the car that hit us.
So Jesse picked him up and like
carried him off to the edge of
the road and held him.
He said he was alive but he
was in pretty rough shape and he
didn't know what to do, but he
didn't know where Jordan was.
So he kinda set Dan down and
told him he'd be back and he ran
back down and he looked around
and the last place he went to
look was the van.
(Jesse) I found him.
(Emotional) I pulled all
that fuckin weight off him
and pulled him out of
that stupid fucking van.
And he looked untouched.
He wasn't bloody,
he wasn't messed up.
He was fine.
I thought he's okay, he's just
knocked out or something.
And the paramedics
got there pretty soon.
The woman came down and I
showed them where he was.
And she just said "He's gone.
He's gone."
It was a fucking horrible night.
(Braden) As messed up as I was,
I wouldn't trade that for having
to be Jesse or deal with that
night and have that memory.
I don't know how
he got past that.
(B Best) I remember I
was at my parent's house
at the time in the
middle of the night.
I just got a phone call that
there had been this accident.
They didn't really know
for sure yet what happened.
I was just running around my
house literally screaming.
Like just I didn't know
what the hell to do.
Still in shock like hoping
that it wasn't true.
(Ryan) We saw something
on a message board that was
kind of cryptic, and it was
about those guys and honoring
them and their memory
living on and stuff, and we
didn't really understand
what they were talking about.
Our band email had an email
I believe from Jordan's parents.
It wasn't really informing us
what happened as much as it was
them expressing to us how
much our band meant to them.
And um... [clears throat]
excuse me...
how much they appreciated the
fact that their children got
to spend their
last moments doing...
spend their last moments
doing what they love to
do with their favorite band.
When I first heard about it,
I think Dan was still alive
and there was a chance
that he was going to live,
but yeah he was just
so fucked up like...
I mean the shit Jesse's told me,
I don't even want to talk
about cause it's super...
it's really graphic,
and it's fucking sad.
But...
It's fucking brutal, man.
(B Best) They were two of my
best friends at the time, and
I just really looked forward
to a future getting to know
those guys. It's taken too
short, they were both only
19 years old, like, looking
back we were just babies.
It's fucking tragedy.
(Carol) I try not to talk about
it unless Jesse wants to talk
about it. Some of the mothers,
like the two mothers who lost
their children, had the report -
the accident report, said
"Here you want to read it you
want to read what happened?"
and I was like "No I don't
wanna read what happened."
I can't imagine my child in the
dark with his friends around him
not with him anymore and Braden
and Junior not being able
to move, not being able to do
anything and Jesse being lost in
the dark wondering what to do.
And it just it still still still
kills me every time I think
about it, let alone sitting and
reading about somebody having to
go through that sort of thing.
So whenever Jesse talks about
it we talk about it but I don't
want the details I don't
want to know the details.
And when you listen to him sing
'The Year Summer Ended In June'
you know how he feels about it.
There's no doubt in your mind
how he feels about what
happened and that dark night.
(Kyle)After that tour ended that
was when Temo quit the band.
When I came home and found
out that Temo had left. As hurt
as I was from the crash, I knew
that that's what I had to do.
I said "Hey this is Jesse,
singer of Compromise, I'm more
than willing to come down
there and try out any time."
It felt like the right
thing to do, it felt like
something had
brought us together.
I think he looked at it as an
opportunity to carry on their
legacy through the band that
they love and the band that
they ended their life with.
So Jesse met up with us in
the States and came back to
Milwaukee to be the new
singer of 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
We continued to write and
rehearse for an EP that we were
working on, and we ended up in
the studio not long after that.
And that's when Jared gave
us a call to inform us that
Matt and himself were going
to be quitting the band.
There was never a point
where we weren't gonna continue
on, it was like "He quit,
okay, screw it whatever.
We're just gonna
continue on", and we did.
But at that point we had
already planned to do this
'Yesterday Was Everything'
festival.
Jordan's father thought it
was a great idea to, only a few
months after the crash, raise
awareness for drunk driving,
to celebrate his son you know.
It was an amazing idea.
And he put it together so quick.
And the city just really
really latched on to the idea.
(Stu) And 7 Angels were
supposed to play, and it was
such a big fucking deal man.
Like it was the craziest shit
that they were gonna come up and
play this show and that
Jesse was gonna be singing.
Like it was like "Holy shit!
This is crazy," you know?
It was planned, we were
gonna do it and then all of
a sudden Jared just says
"I'm not gonna do it." You know.
And I'm so bummed I phoned
him and you know, begged him,
"You gotta come, you don't
know what this show is gonna
do it's gonna be healing.
It's gonna heal people.
People need us there to play
those songs,
it means the world to people."
At least come up and do this
last run of shows and then
we'll all call it quits.
But they refused.
I think at that time we had
never made a trip like that.
Like Edmonton was a place that
we had never really probably
heard of before
meeting these guys.
And it was you know a 30
hour drive from Milwaukee.
So I feel like that was just
something that was too much for
them to wrap their heads around.
Kind of spineless and a
bitch move to bail out when
there's that many people like...
it sounds like weird, but
when there's that many people
depending on you.
Because they were.
Like everybody needed like to be
consoled in a way and that show
was like a way that that was
going to happen, you know?
(Jesse) And luckily
Branden just stepped up.
He learned the songs
very well, very quickly.
The first time I went to
Edmonton Braden was still in
a back brace and
Junior was on crutches.
It was so soon after that the
surviving members from the crash
were still recuperating.
We roll into town and we
just have this like aura around
us automatically, just based on
who we are and our involvement
with their friends who passed
away, you know, weeks earlier.
We just immediately were
taken in like we were a
part of the family.
I just never experienced
love like that from
people I'd never met.
Yeah I mean that
band was like a...
you know they were like the flag
for healing in a weird way.
And that festival was an
extremely special time for
Jordan's family, for my family,
for Braden's family,
for all of us Compromise guys.
Just to get together and
you know, pay respects to
Dan and Jordan. You know
they gave their lives for
that music so to be able
to put on a fest where
everyone could get
together and remember them.
I didn't get to go to
either one of the funerals,
so for me on a personal level,
it was kind of like a
celebration of what
had happened, but then
kind of a celebration of the
future. I mean Jesse came back
with his new band, and there was
a lot of optimism. You know,
this really sad thing, but we
were trying to move forward.
We're 7 Angels 7 Plagues
from Milwaukee Wisconsin.
Let's have some fun.
With plastic face designs
(Kyle) The fact that we were
a four-piece didn't matter.
We weren't 7 Angels in it's
original inception, but the
crowd and the emotion
behind it drove the show.
I remember being on stage, and
looking over side-stage and
seeing Stuart side-stage just
in tears while we were playing.
This is what it all was leading
up to, and we were finally here
honoring the memory
of these kids.
I thank you all,
every one of you.
Jordan thanks you all, he's
smiling big time no doubt.
[cheering]
I wanna know that you'll
all be here next year.
[cheering]
Cause you know what?
As long as I'm Jordan's dad,
this is gonna happen every year.
[cheering]
Yeah, through
Yesterday Was Everything Fest,
and even the formation of Misery
Signals, everything is...
not closure, but it's,
you know,
helped us all cope
with it in some way.
Good, you? What did you guys
end up doing last night?
Not much, we got out
of the club pretty late.
(Ryan) Oh fuck. This is crazy.
(Adam) JFK, what the fuck
are you doing to me man?
What is this?
This is a joke right,
we're getting punked right
now, right? What the fuck?
(Kyle) We had already
decided that we were going to
break up 7 Angels
and start a new project.
(Stu) So Jeff like came out,
and was in the band, they wrote
that EP, and recorded it,
and they just hit the road.
I feel like it happened in no
time, because they were in
Edmonton doing that shit in
June, and I feel like they were
on tour for the Misery Signals
EP by October or something.
It happened super fast.
And then luckily for
me Jeff quit the band.
For Misery Signals to put
out that first EP where a
lot of it dealt
with that accident,
that was a pretty major thing.
The song "The Year Summer Ended
in June" is probably one of the
most personal and touching songs
I've ever heard, because it's
written about our friends and
what we all went through.
(Ryan) When you're a band that
makes songs, no matter how
personal they are, once you put
em out there and they become
special to other people
for their own reasons,
they cease to be just personal.
They're still personal songs,
and they can still mean that to
you, but they mean so many
things to so many other people
that the life of the
song is beyond just
your experience with it.
I didn't necessarily write the
riffs and have that in mind, but
I know it had a feel to it, and
a texture that was definitely
drawn from the environment
that we were in emotionally
at the time. But the time
that it took it's true
form is when Jesse
wrote the lyrics.
We want to call to the
stage, our good friend,
our brother Mr. Ryan
"Junior" Kittlitz to the
play the next song with us.
[cheering]
This next song is likely the
most important song that we
wrote, or at least that I
wrote I feel, on this record.
This song is called The
Year Summer Ended in June.
[cheering]
(Stu) Who knows what turn their
lives could have taken, but at
the time, all those dudes wanted
to do was tour and play music.
...and how you're
always with me.
(Stu) In a weird, sad way,
without the accident happening,
and without Jordan and Dan
passing away, I don't know if I
would ever have played
guitar for Misery Signals,
or done all the touring, met
all the people that I've met.
I wouldn't have met my wife.
It changed my life.
It literally changed
the course of my life.
I feel so selfish saying it, but
without the accident happening,
all the good things in
my life might not exist.
Compromise asked me
to go on tour with them,
on that tour that the
accident happened.
Weird to think back on, had I
gone on that tour, I would have
been in that accident too, and
who knows if I would have still
been here right now.
Shit y'know, the same
thing could happen to us,
there could be another accident,
and I might not be here.
It's one of those things that's
always on your mind that it
could happen to you.
(Kyle) You hear that?
We will finish
earlier than planned.
9:35 to 10:30 for us roughly.
So we could be out of here by
midnight and still get a decent
amount of sleep before we have
to get up. We have nowhere set
to go in Minneapolis,
so we'll be there all day.
We could even leave at six,
if we wanted to be safe.
Jesse's car broke down.
They are four and a half hours
away, which is an hour later
than we're supposed to play.
(Kyle) We don't want to leave
an hour between Waster and us
with the kids waiting.
So we should realistically
try and plan for a 10:30
stage time, maybe even 11:00.
Which sucks for a Monday night.
Wanna know what I really think
happened? They probably just
left their house super late,
that's what I think.
[laughs]
They stayed at
their own house.
(Adam) These are the new times.
Doors at 7:15, we'll just
push the opener back to 8:15,
to 8:45, and then 20
minute changeover for them,
with a half hour set, give
us a half hour changeover,
that puts us on at 10:00.
And we can stall from
there if we have to?
(Promoter) I was
thinking about this,
we can't really go past 10:45.
10:30 is usually where we cut
it on weekdays, so fifteen
minutes late as it is.
(Kyle) We just had a situation.
Our singer is traveling
separately, and had car trouble.
So he's actually roughly
four hours away still.
- Really?
- Yeah
Oh my god.
We could get on by
10:00 at the earliest.
Okay.
So, is there a curfew,
is the curfew 11:00?
- Yeah, yeah it is.
- Okay.
So I guess the best that
we could hope for is, if he
arrives before 10:00 then we'll
go on as soon as he gets here.
(Ryan) Are we sure he's not
exaggerating like "oh dude I'll
be there at 10:00, no problem."
He said he's four hours
away about 45 minutes ago, and
it's 6:23 right now so...
I'm just gonna have him keep
me updated as time goes on.
I don't know what
else we can do really.
If we have to
play half the album
and that's it,
then so be it.
If he goes past 10:00
O'clock we're cutting songs,
and cutting time
off the set, so-
And cutting songs from
a set of nine shows for
a ten-year anniversary
of a record.
(Ryan) Right.
It's not just like a
regular show, y'know?
Right, it's not like
we'll be back in two months.
Out of ten shows, it was
bound to happen that their car
would break down at some point.
So it's just no surprise.
I mean there's shit back
in the day where like,
we'd be on stage, ready to play.
And the tour manager from the
other band would be like "Start!
You guys are fuckin five
minutes over already, start!"
And we'd just start without him.
(Interviewer)
...your name, the band, and
"You're listening
to Radioactive Metal."
Can I just get you to say that.
(Ryan) Okay.
You ready for it? Whenever?
(Interviewer) Yup, whenever.
Hey what's up, this is
Ryan from Misery Signals and
you're listening to
Radioactive Metal.
Excellent.
(Camera Person) So the band
before you is going on now?
(Stu) Yes
We've dealt with this
shit with Jesse forever.
We've known about all
these things. Whatever.
My goal from the start was just
to try and get this thing to
actually happen, and I knew that
there would be some sacrifices
because Jesse is just
out of his mind in ways.
I couldn't do this with
Jesse on a regular basis.
Nobody would want to deal
with the stress that comes
along with it. Doing it like
this, ten shows, it's great.
It's fun.
The bullshit doesn't really have
a negative impact on me at all.
I know that it's not my
life anymore, that it's just
a one-time thing.
And when we finish the tour on
the 23rd in Toronto, that's
that, y'know, it's over.
(Ryan) We've got a line check,
so you've got a minute...
- Is there a bathroom down here?
- Yeah there's two there.
It's 9:57
[cheering]
Good evening Winnipeg.
(Kyle) We're running a little
behind today, so we're just
going to line check B-Ball's
drums and get the support bands
up. Doors are at six and it's
twenty after five right now.
Had a little hang up at the
border, probably could have left
a little earlier this morning,
but y'know, these things happen.
This is the way of the road man.
Last night was the first kind
of, taste of reality I guess.
The reality that not all the
shows are going to go as
perfect as the other ones.
(Ryan) I'm glad last
night was kinda how it was.
Sort of a good reality
check for the band.
It was a little slower.
It was kind of a
dip in the energy.
By any other standards,
it was great. It was just
juxtaposed with some shows
that were totally off the hook.
I think it's just healthy for
everyone's mindset to have a
show like that every
once in awhile.
Especially in this situation,
because if the whole tour was so
sick all the way through, it
might be one of those things
like "oh dude, we gotta get the
band back together and do it
like this all the time" or
something. But it wouldn't be
like this all the time unless
it wasn't a special thing.
It's a cool note to end a
chapter on, to do a bunch of
really cool shows that are
really well attended and
people are going crazy.
But it's also gotta have a
dose of reality in it because,
it's over after this, y'know?
I have mixed feelings about
touring after doing it for so
long and after having the
life that I have now with
home and family.
I miss lots about it.
Never tiring of a place because
you're in a new spot all
the time. You're out there doing
it, you have one goal a day,
and that's get to the show,
get everything set up and
do the show. And
that's very singular.
And outside of that you just
wander and do what you want,
and look for your own fun,
and your own relaxation.
That's awesome because things
are complicated when you're at
home, and it's not as focused,
and you have to micro-manage all
these decisions and build
something to work towards.
It's hard for me sometimes to
manufacture those things when
I'm used to just focusing
on the band and the show.
Going in there and getting it
done, and as soon as you take
your amp of stage, that goal
is done, it's checked off.
Let's go to the next
city and do it again.
The flip side of that coin of
course is that I have to be
away from my family.
I have to be away from my
home like that I'm working on
building up, and it's
harder and harder to do.
In a way this is a throwback
to all the great shows
we did over the years, and even
the smaller, fun shows we did
back when Jesse was in the
band and we were doing
the "Malice" songs
on that record.
But in a way I've done
all these shows before.
If I were doing it just as
something I was still doing,
I think it would make me sad.
It was the last time
We lost a fight without you
And finally now
(Kyle) 10010 is the ZIP.
Got it.
(GPS) Calculating route.
Two and a half hours,
plus traffic.
(Kyle) Yeah their van
broke down about 4:00 AM
last night in Cleveland.
Yeah, brutal.
Especially since they
were only on four shows.
This is probably
gonna be the best one.
So do you want to
keep on schedule,
or do you want to move it up?
So our set time will probably
be the same regardless.
(Ryan) It's been
a lot of stuff man.
I mean, I'm kind of getting to
the point where I'm thinking a
lot about home and just
reacclimating to real life.
There's kind of a lot of stuff
hanging over my head back home
that I have to deal with.
It's been convenient to have a
tour to just escape from it and
not really think about it.
(Jesse) The whole thing has
been this constant roller
coaster of happy sad, y'know.
I think this whole thing has
been positive overall, but it's
mixed at times and it's been
crazy delving into the past.
It all happened.
The story is heavy, and I think
that the lyrics are heavy, and
why has this been so successful?
It's because people experience
heavy things in life and
they relate to those lyrics.
I don't think we could do this
without, at times, touching on
heavy things and getting sad,
getting mad,
whatever the case may be.
That record is sad, and it is
mad, but it's about catharsis.
It's about getting past all that
garbage, you know what I mean?
I think that's what those songs
have done for kids, that's what
that record did for me.
As dark as it is, it's not all
"oh I hate life, this sucks,"
you know what I mean?
It's like "this is bad, but
we're working through it."
We gotta get an O.G.
Misery Signals lineup picture.
(Jesse) Would I
do something more?
At the beginning of this,
I would have said no way.
But I cannot deny
what has happened.
I cannot deny what I see in
the kids' faces every night.
I cannot deny the
things they say to me.
We created fantastic
art together.
And...
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to be over now.
I don't know what that means, I
don't know what that looks like,
I don't know what-
how we proceed.
But if Karl leaves, or if we
can extend this in any way,
I'm willing.
It's been sort of a long
time coming with Karl that he
hasn't contributed much to
the band, and it's decreased
as time has gone on.
After coming back and playing
these shows with Jesse, and
seeing the side of the coin
where the singer's enthusiastic
and passionate, and has
something on the line, like
Jesse is nervous before the
show and he has an emotional
attachment to it. That's what
I think a singer's main job is,
to be the gateway between
the audience and the songs.
And now that we've gone back and
done great shows and had both
sides of that,
I don't want to go back.
I think it would be a lot
more exciting instead of getting
"New Guy X" to sing for the
band to bring Jesse back.
That's exciting, that's
familiar, that's something
people have wanted
for like ten years.
You know, bring back the guy
that wears his heart on his
sleeve and probably cared about
being in that band more than
anyone at the beginning.
(B Best) I think what a lot of
people would like to come out of
this is a reformation of that
original lineup, and maybe more
music from those guys because
'Malice' was such a special
album but at this point it
doesn't seem like it's possible
to happen right, like they've
had three albums since
with Karl. Misery Signals
is something else now.
Stu's not in the band,
Greg's in the band.
People maybe just have
to accept that it was a
really special thing for the
time it came out and just sort
of cherish it for that.
I don't think that
there's really much potential
for anything else, as far as
Jesse's involvement beyond this
point with us.
I know that it's kind of an
unfair gauge to work off of,
because it is a special
event every night.
(Ryan) He hasn't had the last
six or seven years of slugging
it out. Not just coming
in and killing it at
these shows that have
been just like home runs.
He has Misery Signals shows
seven years ago, and then he has
this reunion tour which has
been like a smash success.
Me, Brandon, and Kyle, and to
an extent Stu have had years
and years of these ups and
downs and Winnipeg every night
for a whole tour.
(Kyle) It kind of gives you a
false sense of accomplishment
in a way. Beyond this I
don't think that they would
continue to be like this.
I think that you know you can
ride the hype for a little
while, but once it's said and
done and kids kind of see what
they've been waiting to see for
years, it'll just go back to a
different version of what we
have now; no better, no worse.
(Ryan) Stu's offered to me
that maybe including him on the
writing of something
else would be sweet.
I don't know if it'll
happen or not. I don't know
if he he wholeheartedly
means what he's offering.
If it came to pass, I don't know
how into it he'd be and if he
would just get back to the place
he was at when he quit the band
initially, and just bail.
Because that would hurt a lot,
and I don't know if I'm
willing to risk that.
But also to me the band's in a
weird spot where it might just
be done too, so like what's
to risk really, you know?
[cheering]
How could I
justify this
I can make anything alright
But what do you know
about sacrifice
You are no lamb
Any man a creep
Any man deserving
Any man A victim,
a target
Thank you New York City,
it is absolutely
wonderful to be back.
(Ryan) I don't know all the
levels that it's happening on,
but something-something
really good is happening here.
I was on stage in New York
last night and it was so good,
the show was so great. And
they had to keep the lights on
for the audience just as
safety measure for that club,
and I could see
everyone in the crowd.
There were so many people
singing along and going crazy
and I was just grinning.
I don't know if it's because I
feel like it's run it's course
in a way and it's almost over,
this is one of the last great
awesome moments, but I
could feel like the totality
of the band in a way.
(Ryan) It feels really
good to have done this tour.
I'm really happy with how it
went, and not just on a like
level of the shows were
good and people came out
and went crazy, which they did,
and that made it a lot of fun.
But as far as getting to spend
time with these dudes and see
all the old friends.
I'm not really sure I'm
consciously aware of everything
that has happened but there's
something therapeutic about
having done this whole thing.
(Jesse) I think we are on
that path to redemption.
It's been a healing process.
But it's not going to all of a
sudden "oh we did ten shows or
nine shows, everything is better
guys, everything is good."
We're brothers though right?
I can still be pissed
about what they did.
But I don't judge the men now by
what the boys did in the past.
I know there's been some
gripes, and despite our
differences, I really have
a lot of respect for Jesse.
I think he's a really good dude,
and I definitely can recognize
from where I'm standing now what
conflicts were there and what
differences we both have
as our personalities.
The things that sort of
caused problems with the band
are also the things that
are good about Jesse.
He's a really principled guy,
and he really sticks to his guns
on a lot of things
and that's cool because
the things that he values
are usually on point.
He really values friendship,
and he's all about doing the
right thing, and he sticks
to that once he's decided
what the right thing is.
I wish I was more like that,
and I admire him for that.
At the same time, that's some of
the stuff that was frustrating
for us when we were doing the
band before, because he would
stick to his guns so much.
I would too to an extent,
but I can appreciate
it a lot more now.
It would be amazing if
after Toronto we could go out
back behind the Opera House and
air our grievances and talk and
everyone ends with a big
hug and everything is okay.
I don't know if
that's how it'll be.
But we've taken some really
large steps to becoming friends
again, to healing what happened.
I love you, brother.
(Ryan) I do wish that I was
more mature back then and we
could have worked those
things out in a better way.
But I also believe that
our time as that group of guys
had to end. And I feel
good about where it's at now.
- What's up?
- Just waiting on Jesse.
One last time.
Yesterday we got in a cab
to go get some food in New York
and I had a good little
heart-to-heart moment with Jesse
where he was like "I'm really
really glad we did this."
And he even sort of said
something along the lines of
"if we were considering doing
more shows like this he would
be into it, and even if Karl
were leaving the band for
whatever reason he would
consider coming back.
That puts a lot of things to
rest for me about how he feels
about the band and
what we did together.
And interpersonally between
us, if he's willing to do that
that's basically forgiveness,
it's reconciliation.
(Jesse) Well that's it,
we have one song left.
This might be the last
time that us five ever
play music together again.
Ryan Morgan, I love you.
Branden Morgan I love you.
Kyle Johnson I love you.
Stuart Ross I love you.
[emotionally]
This whole thing...
This whole thing
meant the world to me.
For eight years I dreamt
about playing these shows.
I sure hope this isn't the
last time that we do this.
Thank you for sharing
this night with us you guys,
thank you so much.
I've seen it in your eyes
Looks like your
sneaking and all your lies
They did catch
up to you this time
I swear I heard you say
Blood is forever
Love is forever
I can fool myself
all that I want
But I saw the room,
I heard your voice,
I saw your eyes
The truth will always get
the best of you inside or out
It took me two years
to find that I wasted
five years of my life
Felt the truth within
you and I saw red
I guess we are,
we are the long goodbye
What wasted time
I always hoped somehow
it never happened to us
But it is something that did
That I can't forget
And after all of our times
You fucking
did what you did