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Zero Motivation (2014)
"AARONSKI THE BEE"
Not here. It's Taken. Excuse Me, Excuse me... ZERO MOTIVATION Soldiers, the bus is broken down. Please leave the bus. Another bus is coming. Soldiers, please, everyone off the bus. Everyone off, please. Take us home! Episode 1: The Replacement Kill me now. Come on, let's go. We're late. I can't take another step. Go on without me. I missed two buses because of you. If I'm late Rama's gonna' kill me. Why doesn't anyone answer my letters? You want me to carry your backpack? It won't help. My soul is what's heavy. I just can't go into that base and start another lame week. Stop it, Dafta. It'll go by fast. We'll do some shenanigans. It'll be fun. We'll set a new Mine-Sweeper record. Excuse me? This is Shizafon base, right? Shivzaon. Yeah, this is it. Good, I thought I was in the wrong place. I'm new here. Poor thing. I feel your sorrow. Excuse her, she doesn't like Sundays. Wait. What's your name? Tehila. What's your position? Receptionist. Where? In an office. What office? What is this, an interrogation? I'm going in. You don't get it? She's my replacement. That's Good. What time is it? I have to serve coffee to the dickheads. "Just so you know... there are a lot of fags on this base..." The private says: " really?" The Sergeant says: "Yeah. You want me to point them out?" So the Private answers: "Yeah". The Sergeant says: "No problem, but first I want a kiss." So I guess we're not getting coffee this morning? You'll get it. My soldiers are working on it right now. Good, because if you want to command a hundred soldiers you'd better learn how to command 5 of them. Absolutely. Ok. We're having the multi-branch drill this week so... Ber, go ahead. Ok, we'll be training in area Oscar-4 Tarantula Sector. Blanks only. Section 280 is closed for the drill. What makes you think she's your replacement? What do you mean? It's obvious. My letters finally reached someone who read them and wants to help. Wait, where did you come from? Boot camp. Where were you sent? Here. You see? This is the Personnel Office. Your new home. This is your desk and you can put your backpack here. There you are, disobedient soldier. Don't even ask what happened. All of the Officers are waiting. They're thirsty and dying to eat. I'm not even going to ask. Thank you. The bus broke down, I swear I don't care if aliens were blocking all the roads in Southern Israel. You need to be here at 9:30 sharp. It's my fault. She missed two buses in Be'er Sheba waiting for me. You don't have to come to the base together all the time. You're like glue. We're not in kindergarten. Who's she? This is Tehila... Okay, it doesn't matter now. You have two minutes to serve breakfast. Clean this up after. What? Exactly. Get rid of that stain right away. You don't have to salute. Boot camp is over. That bitch! Why is she yelling at me? I'm supposed to clean her uniform? What am I, her slave? Don't worry about it, Ignore her. We'll make her coffee and she'll calm down. Coffee? That bitch, she can go fuck herself. Along with all the officers up her ass. Rama, our Lieutenant, she's a little uptight. She's retarded. Come. "Soon, you'll talk to me again..." "And my body will feel your warmth" "And your breathing..." This is the seating order of the officers so you'll know what coffee to serve to which officer. Get it? It's really simple. Hey, Nati. Anat. What, you don't remember me? You probably didn't recognize me without the tears? Dafi, from personnel. right, without the hoodie. Look, they sent me a replacement and I'm moving to Kiryat. Really? Yeah. That's great. Good luck. Thanks. "Wounds and kisses..." "All the lies and all the silence" "Come back like gamblers with their deck of cards..." "and shiny shoes". "balancing integrity in a cardboard box, everyday phenomenon." "I leave, I leave that day," "La, la, la, la, la, la, la... Ooowooo... wooowooo" Shut up! "She said, 'thank you, I'm hopeless' "and not afraid to be bad..." Shut up! Shut up! "So, I stayed there..." Personnel Department. Yes. Just a sec. Is this Meirav? Hi, Tsrifin. Okay, there are a lot of forms here. Vacation forms, transfer forms... Ok, bye. No, no, no, those are personal files. What are you looking for? Okay. Anyway... this is all the personnel stuff. Girls, this is my replacement, Tehila. Replacement? What replacement? I'm Moving to the City. No kidding? How did that happen? Jealous? Anyway, Tehila, these are your colleagues. This is Liyat. She's Rama's secretary, and this is Livanat. I'm the Human Resources Officer. Not a receptionist. Wow! You really have no idea what we do here. Well, it's not like we actually do anything. You'd be surprised. We work really hard. Maybe if you came to the office sometime you'd see. Dafi, if you put your backpack on my desk one more time I'm gonna' shove it up your ass. Stop it! Let's not start that again. This desk is for both of us Not for both of us. Just me. Rama said so. This is Irena. She came here from the ordinance corps. She's also new here. New, my ass. I've been here two months already. Personnel Department. Hello. Poor girl. She's overwhelmed. Two years sounds like a lot but time goes by really fast. Yes, it does. Hi, girls! Hello! Hello! What have you been up to? In this drawer there are staplers, pins, thumbtacks, separators, straight blades, envelope opener, pencil sharpeners, plastic glue, ink pens, pen fillers, staplers.. Stop, you're giving me a headache. Staple gun. The most expensive item in the office. This thing is deadly. Nothing works like these on the big posters. Not thumbtacks, not scotch tape. There are only two of them and they're numbered. We hide them here. Even if Gd forbid, you become a POW and they torture you, you tell no one. Got it? Boaz? Yeah? You got a minute? For you, even 60 seconds. I wanted to update you about my application to become a Captain. I heard there's only one more opening and I need a recommendation from you. There's still time before the Commission, right? Yes, but I'd rather take care of it ahead of time. How many candidates are there? It's me and three other officers from the division. Excellent. Competition is a good thing. You'll have plenty of time to impress us. There's going to be an inspection soon, correct? Yes. It's a great chance to earn some points. Absolutely. I'll do the best I can. I'm sure. Girls! Are you on vacation? What do you mean by, "moving to the City"? Exactly what is says. Nothing more. Don't you talk back to me. I don't have the time or patience for this. We're not supposed to get new recruits until the end of the month. No, Rama, it's all good, everything is organized, I... It's just that I've made some contacts with some officials in the city. What kind of contacts? I've been sending letters. A lot of letters. To who? To the mental health officer, to the head of personal affairs, to the general staff. The Chief of Staff's Advisor for Women's Relations, and frankly, to the Chief of Staff himself. What? Right, Zohar? We ended up sending him a letter, right? To the Chief of Staff? Yeah, I think so. You sent a letter to the Chief of Staff? What did you write to him? That you're a spoiled secretary who the Army invented a non-existent position for? Paper-shredding sergeant, because she doesn't know how to type or transfer a phone call? That you want to transfer to the City because the desert dries out your hair? Well, obviously, we wrote it a little differently. This bypassing of authority is unheard of. I don't think the Chief of Staff dealt with it personally. He probably forwarded it to a personal affairs officer or something like that. I can't believe this disgrace. Everything is so organized with the combat soldiers. And the non-combatants are thrown around like garbage. And stop moving binders around here! Close the door! You'll have wait till I have time. Does it look like I have nothing else to do? You don't have to do anything. I'll take care of it all. You've become cocky. You were a good girl before you fell in love with Zohar. Why am I always to blame? Are you trying me? No. It's 1:07 and I still haven't received the mail. It's been on your desk for an hour. 00:00 What about the uniform? Did you get rid of the stain? I'm working on it. Perfect! Continue. This is what do you do all day? Personally I don't see the point of shredding 10 pounds of paper every day. I shred a lot of paper but do it as you see fit. In general, as the paper shredding Sergeant, the position is really a lot what you make of it. Sssh! Sorry. These girls really think highly of themselves. Mabas' receptionists are really stuck up. What is 'Mabas'? That's the base commander. Don't worry, you'll understand everything and meet everyone. Do you know all the soldiers on base? Everyone on base? No way. Do you have any idea how many soldiers are stationed here? How many? There are... A lot! You're funny. Now you can relax for a bit. Basically, you can take a nap every afternoon. But you know, don't tell anyone about it. I can't believe you're leaving. It's a disaster. It's alright. You'll have some peace. You won't have to listen to me cry all day. Yeah right, with those two idiots singing duets all day? That's Guy Shefi. He just looked at you. Really? Yes! Well, go talk to him. Are you crazy? What am I going to say? I don't know. Say, "Hi". Look, his friends are cute too. If we become a couple, I'll introduce you to them. Let's start with actually talking to him. I will if you stay. What does that have to do with anything? We'll talk every day on the phone. You'll come to visit me, we'll drink ice coffee at Checker's. We'll talk on the phone every day. The phone? Can you save seats on the bus with the telephone? Set new high scores on all the computers in the office? You're not going to like it there. You won't have anyone to talk to. No one to eat with. Ladies and gentlemen! After an impressive game by the Spanish champion... will the Israeli competitor manage to overcome her? Here she goes. She's marking the monitor fiercely. They tell me she went through rigorous training in the IDF! And now... Yay! I broke the record! Woo hoo! No way, move over. I feel like I'm on a roll. Zohar Ben Ari approaching the mission... Haven't you had enough of this nonsense? Rama" In regards to Tehila, I fully trained her today. So you can go ahead and test her, and if everything is alright... Well, I could actually be leaving tomorrow. Come to my office first thing tomorrow morning and we'll take care of it. Do you think this is funny? You told me to get rid of the stain. I removed it. That joke just cost you denial of a vacation. Forgive her. I'll sew it. It'll be unnoticeable, I promise. You need to worry about the trash cans. They're full of papers, You're not going anywhere before you shred all of this, get it? Damn it. I think it's Shapiro, that son of a bitch. Wait a second! Wait a minute! Eitan. What are you doing here? I'm stationed here. What? How can that be? Can I come in? Girls aren't allowed in here. The Disciplinary NCO is going around the barracks. Hold on, hold on, listen. This is a bad time. Let's talk tomorrow. You have no idea how worried I was. Why didn't you call or answer my texts? Because I told you, I'm very busy now. What's the matter. You didn't have fun at the Kineret? No, it was... it was great. I can't stop thinking about what we did there. In the water, inside the tent... Well, it... it was summer, and... We only met like... Eight times. We slept together five nights. Not including the night in the Kineret. I don't count that one since we didn't sleep. We said we would meet on New Years. I made you a surprise and suddenly you didn't answer me. Listen, you really have to leave. You have to see the surprise. No, no it's not right, okay? I didn't get back to you because I'm really busy and because... I've never loved anyone like this before. You have no idea how you stole my heart. Okay, but... it's over. I'm not interested anymore. How come? Because... I don't know... it's just not... So, why did you text that you think about me a lot? I don't remember. For four months all I've thought about is you. Nothing else. Only, Eitan, Eitan, Eitan, Eitan, Eitan. Wait, you didn't... you didn't actually enlist, right? How did you get in here? I had to see you. I couldn't take it anymore. Aren't you the new soldier from Personnel? No, she's not a soldier. She's a psycho I met once and... we met a few times and that's it. Nothing happened. Nothing? Do you know what he texted me? When I found your home number, your mom picked up and said you were home and a minute later she said you weren't home. Did you tell your mom to lie to me? You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Impersonating a soldier is a felony. If we report you, you're going to get arrested. Right, Anati? Don't you remember that night in the Kineret, you told me... Enough with the fucking Kineret! It was a long time ago! It was a while ago! I also have a girlfriend now. Do me a favor, pull yourself together and leave this base before you get caught. Leave the same way you came in. Where did you get a uniform and a unit badge? This is unreal. Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't answer your texts, okay? I'm Sorry. Would you like me to walk you outside and we'll talk a little bit? Ok, that's it. If you don't leave right now, I'm going to call the Military Police. It's no problem. Do you really want to ruin your life? You've already ruined my life. Tehila, is everything alright? Yes. Okay, we're in the barracks. If you need anything, just say so. "Fleeting meeting," "parting forever." "He is looking for a man, but his feet stumble." "He will not be able to find," "one that was lost..." Eating from the floor? Disgusting. I'm telling you, Zohar, nothing disgusts her. That's the way it is at the kibbutz? Yeah. And how is it in the ghetto? Watch it! Don't worry about her. Ignore her. Yeah, ignore me. "My last day" "is near..." Dafi... Dafi. Do you really think he looked at me today? I'm worried about Tehila. How long does it someone to take a shit? She's probably constipated. Like you were when you first got here. Can you shut up already? I'm trying to go to sleep. Who, them or us? Both. "We are..." Livanat... Fuck! Shit! Yes? I'm coming. We don't have to wait for the CID investigation to know this was a disaster. It's not enough that a soldier in our unit committed suicide. She wasn't even a soldier. She was an impostor. Five Sergeants sitting in one office and no one even thought about it? She didn't have a military ID card, no dog tag... She did have them, Rama. I heard she stole a drill instructors' backpack in a bathroom in Be'er Sheeva. But if a soldier is coming and no one reported him and he's not on any lists, You need to report to me immediately! You said you didn't have time for it. Come again? That's what you told Dafi. That you didn't have time for this nonsense. You have a bad attitude, you know that? Yeah, you've told me like 700 times. I'm not supposed to individually take care of every soldier that arrives on this base. You know why? Because it's not my job. I'm supposed to oversee your job, not do it myself. If one of you would have bothered to call and find out, or told me there was a problem You could have saved her life. And your ass. My ass? Yeah. What's the deal with blaming us? You're the officer here. Be accountable for this. I will be accountable for this. For the fact that my soldiers have the worst attitudes. I will be held accountable for that. I swear, Zohar, I will make a person out of you. You won't go on vacation on my shift. You're denied of vacation. You already did that. So, another one. Would you like another? It's already three. How about learning to count? You're right. I'm wrong. Make it four vacations. Shall I continue? Rama. Let's go over the details again. She arrived with Dafi yesterday morning at 10:00 AM. Let's continue this conversation in the conference room, okay? I'm going to kill myself too. It's the only way people will pay attention to me here. If you kill yourself they'll pay attention to you, but you won't be able to enjoy it because you'll be dead. Have you thought about that? I don't care! I'm going to kill myself and you need to report that I threatened to do it. Kill yourself first, then we'll report it. You don't believe me? We do. Why not? We wanna see it. I'll drink some white-out. It says, 'Danger. Not for consumption'. Well, now it's empty, but just wait until we get supplies. You'll regret you didn't believe me. I have some, here you go. What else are you hiding in that drawer? All this was waiting for you in the registration office, mail Sergeant. Thanks. Do you know what they call the personnel office on this base? "The Flea Market." That's what they call the personnel offices on every base. Not my office! Not over my dead body! Paper Shredding Sergeant, do you think that in-between all your writing and complaining to the Chief of Staff you might find some time to do your job? We thought we didn't recycle anymore so we threw everything together. Can you shred this too please? "Sincerely, Dafta Tsafrir, 6125824" Chief of General Staff. Subject: "Personal request for transfer." What's this? You never sent my letters? Dafi... I can't believe you've been lying to me all this time. I wasn't lying. Yes you were, and you pretended to help me. Hey! I worked really hard on these letters and you never sent them! You didn't send them! I saved you from the humiliation, They would probably end up in the trash or... or even worse, on some wall as a joke. You think my biggest dream is a joke? Your biggest dream is a little lame, don't you think? I mean... making coffee in the City instead of here. At least here you have me. Do you think you can find a best friend like me just anywhere? I hope I never find a friend like you again. Yeah, I have no idea where you can find someone that will wait an hour and a half for you in Be'er Sheeva so you don't have to walk in to the base alone. So, you're doing me a favor? Okay, I'm sorry! I was pissed off at the Army for no reason. You're the one that doesn't give a damn about me, and you're the reason I'm still here. You know what? Go ahead and send your whiny letters, you naive baby. Let's see who will actually care? Maybe the Chief of Staff! Explain to me what's so appealing about the City for you? At the end of boot camp they let me choose three bases so I wrote, "Town, City, Town." I understand that, but why? Usually, someone who wants to serve in the City wants to be closer to home but you're from Haifa. But I'll live in Tel Aviv and have a real life. You know that Kiryat is a commuter base. For a soldier that doesn't live in Central Israel, the IDF has to organize them a place to live, and pay for a portion of the rent. It's not that simple. But I can't stay here any longer, Anati. Anat. Fill out the reasons for the transfer request and put it in my mailbox. I'll try to forward the request but it'll take some time. I hated my old base too but I didn't act like it was such a tragedy. So how did you leave? I went in for Officer Training. Thanks. Is everything alright? "I remember her, I..." You start with this line, "and then step into me." "I remember it, I remember it from the store..." "I remember it, I remember she bought some semolina." "I've remembered it a long time, since the third grade..." Personnel Department. Yes... Hi, can I please get a transfer form? Hi! What? A transfer form. This is the personnel department, isn't it? What, are you leaving? Can you give this to Dafi? I forgot to give it back to her. So, do you have one? What? A transfer form. Yeah. She Has it. Okay, thanks. I'm not kidding, Rama. Can you repeat that? I said I want... Louder! To think bigger, to think about what I can give and not about what I can take. I'd like to be an officer like Rama. I'm honored to have such a role model. Very impressive. And it's important for me to say that, Rama isn't to blame for... the incident. It was us, the receptionists that made the mistake. Myself. It seems like there are plenty of mistakes here. The guilty person was the front gate guard who allowed a civilian in with a fake military ID card. Okay. Anyway, it wasn't Rama. Boaz, are you with me? I'm still on the line. Anything else? Yes, Shakedi, I'm here. Are you sitting down? I'm about to tell you something insane. Listen... Wow Dafi, you really put it together Who's next? Liati, right? Gd forbid. We didn't say that, Rama. You also want to go to officer training? Ok, is everyone here? I am very proud of our Dafi. Who came here six months ago... Seven and a half months ago. She had a lot of difficulties as we all know, but she's decided to become a solider with high motivation, and get rid of bad influences. And now, she's going to become an officer to the glory of Israel. Cheers! Hold on, I'm not done yet. I ask that we not only consider it a personal case for Dafi but proof that each of us has a point from which everything starts and from which the sky is the limit. Cheers! I would also like to say thanks to Rama, who gave me a chance, and wrote me a great recommendation. Cheers! Yeah cheers. Just don't get drunk. Yeah, you can totally get drunk off of grape juice. I'll be in my room. Her dream about being a receptionist in the city? It's going to come true. I'll be an officer in the City. How do you know where you'll be placed? You know Guy Shefi, the officer? So, he is transferring there, and he's going to place me in his department. Hey, don't you think it's hilarious that the most spoiled soldier that has to take a nap, that won't touch anything, that showers in her bathing suit, that has as many allergies and medical excuses as grains of sand in this desert, is going to be an officer in the IDF? So what are you going to be? I'll be the head officer in a Lt. Colonel's office. Wow! That's good. Zohar, did you drink all the wine? The City cake. This is Azrieli Mall, above the Ayalon South interchange. Where will you be? It's grape juice! Are you crying? No, I just hate throwing up. It's the only thing stopping me from being an anorexic, bulimic like you. Here, drink. Of all the guys on base, you have to choose him? It's just coincidence. He's leaving anyway. I was saving you from the humiliation. Episode 2. The Virgin. C'mon, Irena, when? At 14. It's not that bad. I thought it was a lot earlier. With who? Some guy. He was my neighbor. I was 17, on July 17th. Such a nice date. I did it in the summer between 10th and 11th grade. In summer camp with one of the camp counselors. Zohar, what about you? Zohar. What? What do you mean, "what"? I didn't hear what you guys were talking about. Yeah right. Greetings. I'm not checking, nagger. You were just here yesterday. Can you check? Not now, okay? Go see her. C'mon. Check for me. It'll only take a second. When am I getting discharged? Dude, I'm the mailman. If you want, get inside an envelope and I'll mail you to your mom. Okay, Okay, come here for a sec. Yogev... Interesting. They say all the action is at the kibbutz. So go there on your way to Russia. Tell them you came to volunteer. Is it possible I'm the only virgin in Southern Israel? I'm the only virgin in my kibbutz, that's for sure. All the ugliest girls have already done it besides me. Stop counting us all the time! Quiet. We're not going to multiply. Ne'ama. It's also clear that I'm the only virgin on this base. It's true that everyone here is a slut, but I dont want to feel that different. Liat. Zohar. God, please make me normal. I don't want to die a virgin. I mean, I don't want to die in general, but Not as a virgin for sure. Girls, let's pay attention. I know it's tough and hot and you're tired, but it's important to pay close attention. Shira isn't feeling well. She's going to pass out. Yeah, Rama. I'm going to pass out. So, Shira can go sit in the shade. Can I go with her to the shade, in case she needs help? No! If she needs help she'll tell us. Now that we've taken care of all the patients, I have something to say. Hilit and me went through officer training together. We went through a lot together and she's like my twin sister. Here you go, Hilit. What am I supposed to do when I see a suspect approaching the base? Like... someone with a fake military ID card? No, a real suspect. What should I do? Shout? When I'm on guarding duty at the front gate, and the security of the base is my responsibility and I see a suspect approaching and all I have at my disposal are my awareness, my efficiency, my responsibility for base security, and my M-16. What should I do? Shoot? Just like that? Shoot? What if I kill an innocent person? Just for this kind of situation, there's a suspect handling procedure. If a suspect approaches the front entrance, I first shout: "Stop!" Repeat after me. Stop! He doesn't stop, so I shout: "Stop and identify yourself!" "Stop and identify yourself!" He still doesn't stop. I shout: "Stop or I'll shoot!" Stop or I'll shoot! Still, he doesn't stop. Now, pay attention. I cock my weapon for intimidation purposes. If he still doesn't stop, I fire into the air. If he still doesn't stop, I shoot at his legs. But... Let me finish, I'll allow questions after. But what if he does stop? No, seriously. What if he does stop? If he does stop, call me. Now Zohar, because you ask all these questions. You have the honor of covering the first guard shift. At least you'll be first at something. What did you say? Okay, girls. Let's continue. Answer me, bitch! Did you say: "At least be first at something?" Calm down. I said: "not a very good twin sister". Girls! Let's continue. Would you like some advice? No. Some free advice. I don't want it. You need a man. That's the advice. You need to get laid and the sooner the better. "You need to get laid and the sooner the better." You're quite the romantic poet. If you want romance, you need to pop your cherry first. Nobody will want you like you are. An uptight virgin with cobwebs on her pussy. Wow, you really are disgusting. How can a girl with so many facial creams be so disgusting on the outside? You better listen to me. Find a man, now. The first man you see, have sex with him as soon as possible, before it's too late. Ok, Irena. Maybe in Russia a woman needs a man to justify her existence. Drop the old sayings. You're in the Western World. Idiot. Look at an Atlas. I used to live in the West. Now I'm here. Gil Mesika and Liran Stoler, you're at the front entrance. Rotem Ganon, and Nimrod Cohen, you're in the open. Shir Ben Ezra and Adi Bracha, you're on patrol. Gal Mizrahi and Shuki Solomon, you're in the guard tower. Oleg Kovalski and Ran Saporta, you're at the rear entrance. So, who's left? Just me. Zohar. Right. You're protecting the arsenal. What... by myself? I don't have a partner? Weaponry is a one man guard position because it's inside the base. You stand here, and once an hour walk around the building. You're not allowed to sit or use your phone. So, what? I'm supposed to stand here for 4 hours without doing anything? You asked for equal rights. Here they are. Where are you going to be? Where am I going to be when, I mean, while when I'm on guard duty? Asleep. You'll probably be in all kinds of girls' dreams. What? Do you have a girlfriend? Ok, have a good one. Bye. I said, do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend. If something happens, call the officer on duty. Don't worry, nothing's going to happen. Nothing will happen because this is my life. I wish some guy would come. Doesn't have to be a stud, but... okay, not a catch. Mediocre. Average. Someone that would want me. Who's there? Stop or I'll shoot! What is it? My Gd, put the weapon down! Who are you? Meir. I'm looking for the store. You're not from the base? No, I'm from Maglan. We're training here. Can you stand in the light for a second? You guys are serious around here? Yeah, sorry. I'm Zohar. Hi. Hi Zohar. Nice to meet you. So, where's the store? I'd show you but I can't leave my post. No problem, just tell me how to get there. Hold on, how long are you guys staying here? Until... the day after tomorrow? So... If you like..maybe... tomorrow night I can show you where it is and other places on base. If you like. Ok, cool. So tomorrow at... 10 PM work for you? Ok, cool. So tomorrow at... Yeah. Yeah, it works for me. Great, we're on. But still, can you tell me where the store is? The guys are waiting for their smokes and... Yeah, it's right there. Walk down this path a couple of meters. The red door. Thanks. So tomorrow? At 10, in the store. My Gd! Come on! Help me up, will you? I'm not dead yet. Give her a hand. Where am I supposed to sleep now, on the floor? You can sleep on the empty bed. Now it's called "the empty bed". That girl slit her veins and peeled the skin off her body and you expect me to sleep in her bed? Quiet! I'm trying to sleep. Sorry for disturbing you! I almost died! Why just almost? I'm not going to sleep in her bed. I'm sorry, but that's where I draw the line. They changed the mattress, Zohar. It's not that bad. You sleep there if it's not that bad. "Hear my voice "distant friend of mine..." "do you hear my voice..." "where are you now?" I'll sleep on her bed, alright? Get in my bed and be quiet. Coward. Paranoid virgin. What's that got to do with anything? Well done, Irene. Really nice of you. Take note of this. It smells weird here. Good night. Smells like... Russian sausages. You'd kill for a Russian sausage in that bed. There is no such thing as ghosts, Liati. So, not a ghost. Maybe a demon that's possessing her. There aren't any ghosts, or demons, or little gnomes that do our work at night. Look at her. She's acting so strange. I'm the adjutancy inspection officer. What am I going to pick? August 2003, Headquarters. Let's take a look. What do we have here? August 24th, logistics report. It says here that the soldier... Och..Oochi... "Ochperkovich." Ochperkovich, Tomer didn't attend logistics on this date because of vacation. That's what it says. Now, soldier. Please show me the supporting documentation for it. Human Resources inspections are the crucible for combatants. It's the biggest test for personnel. Every attribute of every soldier on every date, needs to be coordinated and documented. Vacations, ranks, court marshals, absenteeism, transfer forms, everything! It only takes one mistake in order to fail. And the inspection is random. Random is incidental. Do you understand what that means? What does it mean? That we could use a little luck? That we need to go through every binder, every page, check and update because those who count on luck, Zohar, we've seen what happens to them. Rama, we'll never be able to update everything here. Do you realize the mess in this office? According to my calculations, if we get into a rhythm, We should be able to get through everything by Thursday, And get four hours of sleep per night. It's in our hands and we won't just pass this inspection. We'll pass with flying colors. Let's go girls. Let's have some fun! Now, I understand there's some sort of issue about a ghost that's possessing Irena. Irena, is this true? Irena? Irena, you just have to put the pages in the plastic covers, okay? It says Shimi Samouha wasn't here for like a week. It doesn't say why, nothing. Here, send him on vacation. Fuck, it's never-ending! You see how fast time flies? Good joke with the ghost thing, really. Who would have thought you'd be so brilliant with the idea and the acting. I really think something happened to her. Rama? Yeah. Irena's not doing well at all. I think I should take her to the infirmary. To the infirmary? What exactly are they going to do? An exorcism? It's better if a professional sees her, so we don't have another... Tehila incident. Okay, go. And get back ASAP. Every minute you're not here is less sleep for the other girls. Sure. Irena, well done. You do realize we just escaped hell and the devil himself opened the gate for us. Aren't we going to the infirmary? Are you crazy? Let's go to the barracks. But you told Rama I need to go to the infirmary. Go to the infirmary if you want. I just have to go. I had a neighbor in Oropinsk that got stabbed and I saw his hand coming out of the drawer. Irena, enough with the creepy thing. You're starting to scare me. Why are you putting on make up? Remember telling me I had to lose my virginity ASAP? No. Well, you did, and you were right. That's exactly what I'm going to do. Can I come with you? What? No! Why don't you go to your friends room? I don't have any friends. Then go read a Russian book. You said you'd take me to the infirmary. So, go to the infirmary, psycho. Be thankful I got you out of the office, and stop following me. Please don't leave me alone. But I'm going to attend to some private business. You know? Come on, Irena. I found a cute guy and he's into me. He's not from here and he's leaving tomorrow. I won't be in the way. How so? It's a date! If you don't let me come along, I'll tell Rama we didn't go to the infirmary. I see the "ghost" didn't change your lousy attitude. You're going to be invisible like air, got it? Air! You're early. So are you. I like it. I like you too. This is Irena. She's sitting with us for personal reasons, but she won't be in the way. Awesome. Hi, Irena. Hello. Boot camp was horrible. The worst five months of my life. They kicked our asses. Treated us like the holocaust. Like the holocaust? Irena, what did we talk about? You know, meaning it was really bad. You can't use that expression any way you wish. Irena! But it's true. The drill Instructors were actually nazis. So, what did they do? First of all, they killed six million of us. We went on vacations by train only. Irena, I'm kidding. Loosen up. Smile a little. What... What... how long have you been in the unit? About 11 months. Cool. The commanders aren't nazis there? No way. They're great. But never mind, these jokes offend Irena. How the hell do they offend Irena? What does it have to do with her? The Russians weren't even in the Holocaust. Okay, I'm gonna get us some drinks. What are you having? Diet Coke. Diet Coke for the lady, and for you? Nothing. Diet Coke and nothing coming your way. What's your deal? We agreed you're gonna be like air. I didn't order anything. Just go back to the barracks. Can't you see we're starting to connect? Vacation? She was enslaving us until now. Do you mind switching tables? It's just that someone's already sitting here. Who? Who? Now you're talking in two voices? Someone! So, it's not enough that we do your work, Now we have to eat standing like horses while you sit on your ass? Eat in the barracks, blood suckers! We feel like sitting here. I'm telling you, I'm in the middle of something and this seat is taken! No problem. I'll get another chair. Hi! What's up? My sister. Look. You have nine cans here. Let's see you knock them all out at once. Get away from me, maniac! You were gone for a while. Like anybody noticed. I did. You. It's because of you all the idiots came to our table. They saw you. Turns out I'm the air on this date. Damn it, there's no privacy around here. Where should we go? You tell me. Everything alright? Yeah. All this time in the infirmary? Where? The infirmary, yeah. Welcome back. We're almost done with the soldiers. Tomorrow we'll finish the officers. What would really be helpful is if you guys would clean up this mess. Okay. So... I'm just gonna go get the broom. The broom's right here. So I'll... I'll get some rags from the other office. We'll clean thoroughly here. Hold on. Just a sec. Can you be a little more gentle? What? More gentle. I'm just... not used to it. You want it to be gentle? Yeah. A little. If you want it gentle, go find a civilian. I'm just coming from training, sweetie. Hold on, hold on. What happened, sweetie? I thought you wanted it. Hold on... No... Wait... Hold on... No, stop. Stop! Stop or I'll shoot. Put the gun down! You get dressed! Not you! What do you think you're doing? What do you think you're doing to this girl? What makes you think you can stick your ugly dick wherever you want? That's a lady in front of you, not a garbage can. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for interrupting you. Go. Where? Over there! Pick up your stuff. Walk! Stop! See that trash can? Fuck it! What? Fuck that trash can. Now! Was I not clear? What... What do you mean by, 'fuck the trash can?' What you were doing to Zohar, do it to the trash can. But... What? Suddenly you can't? You're insane. What were you thinking, that you can bang whoever you want? Give me his clothes. Leave and don't come back. I need my rifle back. I can't give it back to you. Irena, give him back his rifle. What are you doing? He'll kill us. Give me back my rifle and I won't do anything to you. I swear. They'll put me in military prison. Haven't I gone through enough? Thank you. Rama! Rama! No more Rama. You're done. Just so you know, I almost got raped and killed. Why can't I believe a word coming out of your mouth? Ask Irena if you don't believe me. I have no idea what she's talking about. Irena! You were just pointing an M-16 rifle at a soldier, about to kill him! What the hell are you talking about? You're no longer possessed! That's what happened! Rama, listen. Tehila's ghost possessed Irena while she was sleeping in her bed. And then she sent Irena to avenge all the assholes that hurt her and... And now Tehila's ghost left Irena's body And that's the reason Irena doesn't recall any of it! I called the infirmary and asked if you were there. Guess what? Right, we weren't in the infirmary, but that has nothing to do with it. What would you do if you were me? What? I'm asking you. What would you do? In regards to what? In regards to you! What would you do if you were me? I can't imagine a situation like that. Go to the barracks. Good night. Your friends are working their butts off and so am I. We're giving everything to this office. And what does it look like? Disgusting. When I come back in the morning, I don't want to recognize this place, because it's going to be spotless. Organized, tidy, without this dust and these extra papers all over the place. A new office! But it's going to take me the whole night. Why not do it all together tomorrow morning? What wasn't clear about my orders? I don't understand why you're calling me out and giving me the most brutal punishments I'm doing this for you. Because one day you'll wake up and realize that you spent two years in the IDF and didn't do anything. Didn't leave your mark. While there are soldiers that sacrifice their lives. So here it is, your chance to contribute a little to the Army. Careful. It's still wet here. Where are all the pages? You told me to shred all the extra papers. Those in the trash cans. Not the ones we need. We don't need so much paper. It just makes our lives complicated. So where are the old records? In your office. Rama? Rama? Episode 3: The Commander Mitzpe Ramon Officers' Training School One, attack. Two, freeze. Three, elbow. Four, knee, the knee, the knee. Knee, good. Now switch. Let's go, Let's go! 68, two... 69, training is almost over, Up! Yelena, you're not trying! 70! Up! I can do this all day. 71, I have time. Up! 90 degree knees, 72! How do you expect to get attention if you can't do sit ups? 76! Faster! Up! 77! You'll never finish training like that, Dafi. 87! Up! Look at you. 88, Disgrace! Up! Responsibility! Question: What is so unique about accomplishing the goal? Yeah. Equality. Good. Moving on. Hi, this is Zohar. Don't leave me voicemails because I can't hear them. So get lost. Bye. The soldiers in training, in order to calculate who's going to ask for sick days and when... Personnel Department. Hello. Hi, may I speak to Zohar? Who is this, Dafi? Yeah. Can I speak to Zohar? Zohar is in prison. What? Why? She shredded the entire office. Why are you whispering? I can't hear you. Because Rama doesn't want us to talk about it. Anyway, Zohar got three months prison time. Three months in prison? I was just planning on moving up the ranks in the Army. I mean, go far and... I know it was pretty bad after we failed the inspection, but look how the office has progressed since then. Greatly. Look, we don't have the quota to promote you. What, but... why isn't there a quota? There was only one quota for non-combatants and the Education Office got it. Rama, It's ok. You're getting discharged. Is it because I'm a woman? The education officer is a woman. Yeah, I... Rama, you've been outstanding, and no one can take that away from you. Don't think I overlooked the fact that you're talented and dedicated. But looking at other aspects, personal communication, and the ability to command efficiently are also very important for a military career. To Rama and Liat. Good luck in your future endeavors. Thank you, Boaz. Damn. Shira left... now you. Namonet is leaving as well. It'll be just me very soon. Guys, today we are saying goodbye to an officer that gave 110 percent of herself. So, a round of applause for Rama. Rama, good luck with your civilian life. I also prepared something. Franz Kafka once said: "The chains that cuff humanity..." "are made of office paper." And really, after we lost all the records, I was lost. But in the past few weeks, we started the digital records restoration, broke loose from the papers, and I'm proud to announce that we are the most advanced and eco-friendly office in the IDF. And big thanks to Zachi, our great computer systems officer, who worked day and night. Cheers! Hold on. I would like to end on a personal note... Excuse me, Boaz? Ofer is waiting in the office. He says it's urgent. The region just got hot. Okay, get the operations officer and company officer for an evaluation. Nir, come. Rama, good luck with your civilian life. Thank you, Boaz. Have fun! Thank you. You can go ahead and eat the pie if you like. My mom made it. Thanks, Zachi. Well... Okay, good luck... I'll be in the office for now. Good luck, Rama. First Lieutenant, Daphne Tsafrir! First Lieutenant, Shira Pinchas! First in class, Tama Lahav... Dafi, the commanders are very proud of you. I'm speaking on behalf of all of us. You arrived here as a soldier that didn't believe in herself. You came a long way in empowering yourself and now, there is an officer sitting before of us a success. You're going from here to additional training and this is your placement. Good luck. No, this can't be. It's a mistake. For sure, I'm supposed to be placed in the city. I'm supposed to be placed in the City. It's... it's all been taken care of. No. No. It's not a mistake. It's correct. Dafi? We've all been so impressed by your motivation. You remember that we're here to serve the military. Right? For six months I've been suffering this training and what helped me make it was believing I'd be placed in the City. It's too exaggerated. There's a war going on out there. Pull yourself together. War? I'm just a non-combatant officer! What? Our soldiers are getting killed and here you are, crying over your placement? Come on, Dafi. Let's not be disgraceful. In regards to the medical aspect, evacuation is based on two ambulances in Ze'ev. This week we're expecting a heat index of 3, so we're supplying a water tanker of course. We need to pay attention that everyone drinks because last week three trainees were evacuated. It was a long hour until that wretched doctor found them. One is still in the hospital. And listen, I don't want to have anymore incidents. Okay, did the maintenance officer update you? Okay. Pay attention to the next move. Zohar... Quiet What about that coffee? All the officers are waiting. Hold on... I'm going to break the record. Let's not be disgraceful. There's a war going on out there and you're playing computer games? What do you want? I'm sweeping mines over here! It's really dangerous. The crowd is on its feet. All the Mine Sweeper champions... and she's clearing her targets with no fear. Who's the boss? Me! Alright, shut up, shut up, shut up. Thank you, Gd! I broke the world record! You really have an attitude. This talk sounds familiar. Is that what they teach you at officer training? Respect? You'll get up right now and take these trays for me. I can't get up. We're in the middle of a bet. Excuse me? We're betting who can last the longest without getting off their chair. With all due respect, I have no intention of losing to these green soldiers. Zohar, I already prepared everything. Just serve this please. Give me a push, come on! Zohar, stop it! Zohar! You will get off of that chair right now. But this is a new start. Finally, they won't check out our asses. Zohar Ben Ari, you just got denied your vacation. I understand that you want to act like a commander because you're upset that you got screwed and have to stay here for double the time, but I'm sorry. I'm going to have fun here and not suffer. My time is valuable. Even if I can't wait for it to be over. So, take it down a notch with this, "denial of vacation" thing. Are you trying me? Don't repeat her like that. Poor thing, she's sick. She has First Lieutenant sickness. But it will pass, right, Dafi? Okay, well it seems you're enjoying each others company. So from now on, every punishment Zohar gets will carry on to all of you. Is that clear? You have 10 seconds to get in formation. Formation? There's only four of us. Let's go. When welcoming an officer, the office soldiers will stand at attention. Two, three... Attention. What are you? A Drill Instructor? Give me a hundred sit ups. Yeah, right! Okay, like I said before, the punishment carries on to all of you and now you need to give me a hundred sit ups. Quickly, or it's going to be 200. One, two, two... Have you lost your mind? I'm your officer now. Get it already. I'm an officer now. "I will appreciate if you consider my difficulties of being in a desert" "that triggers my allergic reactions." "I'm under close observation by orthopedists and surgeons" "And so, I would be able to contribute more if I am stationed in the City rather than Shizafon Base." It's important for me." You're so mean. Zohar, look at me. Commander. You can't make me look at you. Especially not while I'm eating. Don't you have even a little respect for our past friendship? Friendship? You just cared about getting out of here. A true friendship is to stick together. A true friendship is that you care about somone, with no regards to their location. And you only care about yourself. Stop playing, we're having a conversation. I can't stop playing, my dear, because I'm about to set another record. I'm going to delete them. All these games. Delete? You don't even know where "Enter" is. You barely even know how to turn it on. Here it is. Pretty simple. Don't Touch it. Move, Zohar, you're in the way. I'm just reminding you that mine and your highest scores in "Average Mine Sweeper" are on this computer. Been set to "Minesweeper" on this computer. I don't care about the high scores anymore. These high scores are the best achievements you will ever have. Don't move. Cut the bullshit. The next one will be right between your eyes. Zohar, Stop! You're insane. Get off the computer. No. Dafi, I'm warning you. Dafi! Don't you touch my computer! Dafi! Don't you touch my computer! Did something happen in your office? It's really private. I'm talking about the server rack. The what? The master server system. Did anyone touch it? Because I'm missing some information. It's Zachi from computing. Can you please open up? I need your statement about the incident. What exactly happened there? We had a... an argument. I meant to delete all the games from the computers but accidentally I clicked on the... She's lying. I deleted a bunch of things to piss her off. Wait, so it wasn't you? No, no, it was actually me. She tried to stop me but she was too late. Aren't you the one that shredded the entire personnel records once? Yes, but there's no connection between the incidents. Really. Back then I was following my ideology and now... It was a mistake. Do you know that what you did is unrecoverable? All our work went down the drain. Three months worth of work that doesn't have any written backup because, thanks to you, there is no paper trail! Zachi, calm down. I will not calm down. You shouldn't have done that. Now they're gonna' go after you. I doubt it. It's not ok. I'll tell them I'm to blame. Don't worry about it. You're an officer now. You need to hold yourself to higher standards. So, how was officer training? A nightmare. How was prison? Not bad. It was actually alright. Anything is better than the kibbutz. Come in, please. Not every orchestra is the right fit for a trumpeteer. There is a trumpeteer that's good for the philharmonic orchestra, another one is good for the local orchestra. The challenge is to find the right fit. Along this corner. You see? All across the corner. Well, what did you get? He said I'm not suitable for an operational position so he's demoting me to a position with less responsibility. Really? Where? In the City. I'm moving to the City. It soon became clear that that the only thing Dafi didn't delete from the computers were the games we were playing. I've decided to stop looking for guys. I quit playing "Mine Sweeper..." and now I've devoted my life to... "Solitaire". She's been like that all day. They left me to rest in the infirmary and time flew by quickly. Discharged. No more mail Sergeants. Everything by email. "I sent you a letter over a week ago." "I asked to move to another office because this one smells like whitewash, the window is facing East and I'm allergic to the sun." "So, is my request being considered? That's good. Add, "Thanks for considering it". Shit! |
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